The Kindred part II (Atlantis)
(Sam is standing gazing intensely at the Gate as she awaits the arrival of Team Sheppard with a wounded man. Jennifer comes in with a medical team.)
Jennifer: “What is it?”
[as Sam]: “It’s a big round thing that forms wormholes to distant planets, but that’s not important right now.”
Not really a spoiler, but I should warn that it takes place after Ark of Truth.
Odyssey commander: Marks, take us out.
Marks: I can't do that, sir.
Odyssey commander: Why not?
Marks: Sir, this ship's been trashed, time-dialated, ripped to shreds, and otherwise mutilated so many times that it doesn't work anymore.
Odyssey commander: Then why are we here?
Sam (on the Phoenix): Okay! (rubs her hands together) Time for a little target practice!
Vengeance - Atlantis
Rodney: Well, maybe it'll bleed to death.
Ronan: Or just grow another arm.
[sing] Always look on the bright side of life...
(Ronan pulls his sword)
[say] I'm Duncan McCloud of the clan McCloud...
or
[as Duncan] There can be only one!
Unending - SG-1
(When title comes up)
[say] It'll certainly seem that way.
or
[as Teal'c] Indeed.
Talion SG-1
(Arkad in the sunlit room with the staff)
[as Indiana Jones fan) Is this where he finds the location of the Ark of the Covenant?
(Arkad pulls his sword out of its scabbard to kill Teal'c)
[as Highlander immortal] There can be only one!
Adrift - Atlantis
Sheppard: Control Room, this is Sheppard. As soon as we get inside the shield, activate the hyperspace jump.
Teyla: I am sorry, John, but we can't.
Sheppard: Why not? Zelenka just finished repairs.
Teyla: Yes, I know. But we have just dropped below the line. We don't have enough power.
[as Zelenka] I just risked my life for nothing?!?
Stronghold SG-1
Ba’al: “Hello Teal’c.”
Teal’c: “You.”
[as Ba’al]: “No, I’m Ba’al, not Yu. Has tretonin affected your eyesight?”
(later)
Ba’al: “What you need right now is a strong leader – one with the mind and experience to wage war on such a foe.”
Teal’c: “You?”
[as Ba’al]: “Will you stop with your obsession over that other bloke?!”
Air Part 3 - Universe
(whirling sand)
[as Rannian] It's a Dust Devil of Rhyntharr!
Mrs Armstrong: I am a personal friend of the President & the first lady!
[ask] So she's a tax evader?
Time (Universe)
Young: “On the Kino recording, Eli said Volker died because of it.”
T.J.: “How quickly?”
[as Young] “Well, he didn’t gabble it so fast that we didn’t understand what he said – like, ‘Volkerdiedofthethingthateveryonecaughtwhentheywereontheplanet’ – but he did speak quite fast. Is it relevant?”
Stargate Universe
(On encountering a Kino for the first time)
"Why do I get the feeling I should be blindfolding myself, & then igniting a Lightsaber...?".
Kino 8
(as it goes to black with Eli wondering if the hatch has been fixed)
[as Eli] Aaaaaaaaa...!
Space (Universe) WARNING: SPOILERS
(The shuttle is chasing the alien ships and firing at them. Young radios the shuttle)
Young: "Lieutenant, I need you to end pursuit and fall back to Destiny."
Scott: "But, sir ..."
Young: "Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage. Chloe may be on board one of those ships."
[as Young] "Ah, hell, what am I thinking? Fire at will!"
Sabotage (Universe)
Young: “So Doctor Rush has just confirmed that our current F.T.L. jump will take us between galaxies, which means it could take some time before we are able to make another Gate connection to replenish our supplies. Strict food and water rationing will be reinstated as of now.”
(The crew murmurs unhappily.)
Young: “It also means that any hope of rescuing Chloe Armstrong ...”
[as the crew]: (cheering) “Hell, we’ll take rationing over that!”
Pain (Universe) MINOR SPOILERS
Young: “I’m gonna quarantine the entire Away Team, hopefully isolate the hallucinations until they pass.”
Chloe: “What if they don’t pass? What if it gets worse?”
[as Young]: “Then I’ll shoot the lot of them. Next question?”
Incursion Part 2 - Universe
Spoiler - Highlight to read
(The Lution alliance gathers up the castaways & looks like they are about to shoot them down as a cliffhanger)
[as viewer] Yay! I hope they get rid of all the boring characters & replace them with interesting ones! ;-)
Re:last post
And then the Lucian Alliance shows up, wondering who/what exactly this other alliance is...
(Of course, if they do carry out their intent, then there will possibly be only 1 or 2 people in the entire cast, for next season...)
Intervention (Universe)
Greer: “We need weapons.”
Scott: “There’s something else we need even more.”
[as Greer]: “Oh man. Why didn’t you go before we left?”
Intervention (Universe)
CAINE: ... your baby, of course. You don't have to worry any more, T.J. She's safe now.
[as viewer] She's off the show where the writers can't get her!
Awakening (Universe)
Rush: We're not gonna hit it. We're gonna dock with it.
(Destiny docks with the other ship)
[as viewer] Boom chika wow wow!
KAM, I thing you do a better job writing Universe than the actual writers.
Thanks! :-D
Sadly it's not that hard to do.
^^ This.
Pathogen (Universe)
Eli: Are you OK?
Chloe: I don't know how I got here.
[as Chloe-hater] Wasn't it because you slept with the casting director?
(Rush leads Chloe into the hallway with the writing on the wall)
[as Chloe reading] "All work & no play make Rush a dull boy!"?
Chloe: He, uh, wanted me to look at some equations, see if I understood them.
Scott: Did you?
Chloe: I don't know.
[as Barbie] Math is hard!
(Greer & Simeon facing off)
Greer: You were saying?
[as Simeon] Kiss me you fool!
Young: We'll keep an eye on her twenty-four/seven.
[as Scott] Even when she's showering?
[as Young] Especially when she's showering.
Sharon: Mrs. Wallace?
Maryann: Yes.
Sharon: I'm Sharon Walker. Your son Eli suggested ...
Maryann: Oh, yes. Hello.
[as Maryann] My new lesbian lover!
The Greater Good (Universe)
(Eli & the others come on the bridge)
[as Eli] We found the Batcave!
(During the fight Rush drops the kino)
[as Rush] My magic 8-ball!
(Eli in the captain's chair)
[as Eli] Warp 6, engage!
Malice (Universe)
(Rush tracking Simeon)
[as Trek fan] When does he discover the diamond deposit so he can make his cannon?
Resurgence Universe
Scott: Chloe, what did you do?
[as Chloe] I got the show canceled!
Deliverance (Universe)
Rush It would just be a waste of power.
[as Rush] Just like all these lights on the bridge.
Chloe: The aliens who took me, they followed us to this galaxy. They've been looking for us ever since. Now they know where we are.
[as Chloe] The change to Tuesday nights confused them.
Colonel Young: We don't have five minutes!
[as Colonel Young] General O'Neal warned me there'd be days like this!
The change to Tuesday nights confused them.
Oh, Keith, you genius!!
Deliverance (Universe)
Young: “Rush. You’re outta time. RUSH!”
[as Rush]: “Stop yelling at me! And besides, I am rushing!”
Prototype - SG-1
(Khatal is going to the gate room & we see Cameron trying to open the door with his swipe card)
[as viewer] This is no time to buy stuff with your credit card!
Wolsey: I've arranged for the families of the dead soldiers to be taken care of.
[as Wolsey] The Death Squads should be killing them as we speak.
Gauntlet - Universe
Young: What do you suggest we do for food & water during this time?
[as Eli] Cannibalism.
(Everyone but Eli is sealed in the stasis pods)
[as Eli] Muhahahaha! Now I'll just thaw them out one at a time & eat them at my leisure!
Counterstrike - SG-1
Bra'tac: This is madness.
[as Jaffa leader] Madness? No! This. Is. Dakara!
Adria: We have plans for you.
[as Daniel] Threesome!
Twin Destinies - Universe
(Our last view of Alt-Rush in Alt-Destiny's command chair)
[as Alt-Rush] My preeeeecious!
Inferno - Atlantis
(The Stargate is swallowed up by lava)
[as Gollum] My precccccciousssssss....!"
The Last Man
(John wanders through the deserted Atlantis)
[as Holly] They're all dead, John.
The Last Man
Sorry to be so obvious, but it was just too tempting to follow your post, Keith.
HOLLY: They’re dead, John.
SHEPPARD: Who is?
HOLLY: Everybody, John.
SHEPPARD: What, Colonel Caldwell?
HOLLY: Everybody’s dead, John.
SHEPPARD: What, Ronon?
HOLLY: Everybody’s dead, John.
SHEPPARD: What, Teyla?
HOLLY: They’re all dead. Everybody’s dead, John.
SHEPPARD: Zelenka isn’t, is he?
HOLLY: Everybody is dead, John.
SHEPPARD: Not Lorne?
HOLLY: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Lorne, everybody. Everybody’s dead, John.
SHEPPARD: Rodney?
HOLLY: He’s dead, John. Everybody’s dead. Everybody is dead, John!
SHEPPARD: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody’s dead?
THE STARGATE: I wish I’d never let him through in the first place.
:-D
My cunning plan worked! ;-)
And then he meets the hologram of someone he found really annoying.