I've never been to Stavromula Beta...

Gene breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank you for saving me. I do have one request. I must speak to Commander Milkshake, it is most urgent.

The wrecked docking port door opens, and Adon and the Observer turn and look. Standing in the doorway is Butrfli, her only equipment a small mask connected to an oxygen tank and a wrist bracelet. The bracelet is a personal shield device, thus allowing Butrfli full use of her hands. She stands next to the two heros and looks up at the battle.
I figured that there should be a magical element here, too.
On the Spidership, Jackson sits at the weapons area and punches in the numbers that Inspector Mystery gave him.
I'm ready to fire at any time. Say, do you think that the Polymorph Weapon would work on our friend out there?
Meanwhile, Alex and his squad is attacking and distracting the creature.
Dupree to Flight Three, execute pattern Alpha-Delta-Jelly Roll-45! Fire phasers, launch missils, and get the water guns ready! Fire at my command.

He headed back to the Starbase after Lawyer Man left, he must still be stuck there...

Come to my new night club, Beta!

The energy being sparks in anger, twisting and attempting to shift shape within the Senshi's shadow bonds and hood. Sensing the fighters swarming around, it tries to reach out to them and cannot. However, missiles fired at it are harmlessly absorbed; and once a lance of fire streaks back along the missile's flight path to blast a fighter than chanced too close a run.

Behind the creature, the dimensional rift has not yet completely closed, ragged edges spilling faded reddish light through into the vacuum near the starbase....

Talk about overkill.
Rikard looks around at the surrounding space. Fighters swarm about and around the two targets. Two. Maybe he should have left the Hornets in the bay. Plus, the amazing coincidence that the Wytch Queen happened to be around added even more ships.
Okay, Hornet 1, 2, and 3: I want you three to make sure that red ship does nothing hostile. Do not engage it unless it takes hostile action. Understood?
Rikard receives three confirmations.
Okay, the rest of you are with me. Let's make sure that that creature doesn't terrorize anyone else. Try to incapacitate, not destroy. Rikard out.
The three Hornet fighters form up with Rikard's ship and make a run past the creature, guns blazing, before circling around for another.

Hmm. Our attacks don't seem to be working. Hornet Lead to Banshee Leader. Hey Kiehart, that energy creature seems to be just absorbing our fire. Maybe we should break off.

As Adon releases the ship, it springs away, instantly quieting. A brief thank you finds the minds of Adon and Observer, before the tiny vessel streaks off towards the battle. Even to an experience telepath, the two distict voices have now become muted, entwined, and too rapid for ready detection of meaning.

As it approaches the scene of the fight, dodging the other fighters to get a closer look, there is a sense of surprise and then the Shadow Senshi recieves a very brief and tired sending:

THIS IS GOOD, YOU HAVE SKILL. CAN THESE SHADOWS COMPRESS? DOOR REMAINS OPEN....

Good question.

(She concentrates and slowly the dark matter begins to compress around the creature and force it toward the dimensional opening. The creature fought back and struggled, but she managed to get it inside the opening.)

Now... now what? (She thought, struggling to hold the creature back & not knowing how to close the boundary.)

HOLD THERE!

The red ship slips between two of the other fighters and draws close to the rift, just beneath the floating form of the Shadow Senshi. The sending is echoing now, the two minds in near-perfect sync. WE WILL CLOSE IT, HOLD THERE!

Closer and closer the little ship drifts towards the rift, flickering and sparkling with a sense of deep effort. Slowly--too slowly--the rift begins to seal itself, but clearly they will not have enough energy to complete the job....

The Masked Enigma and La Femme Superbe decided to take a tour of the Spidership, then, if there was time, the starbase. They came to Zen-Forward, botn newcomers.

So, why do they call this place Zen-Fohwahd?

"Because it's better than calling it Seven Slightly Starboard," said a helpful passerby. "Here, take this." And he handed the Masked Enigma a PADD.

Hmm, this seems to be some soht of tour guide. It's called... the Spidership tour guide!

He and La Femme Superbe looked at it together.

It says here that this is primarily a juice bah. How novel.

So, what kind would you like?

(And in come Observer, Adon, and Butrfli, riding the shattered docking port like some bizarre type of space-roaming platform. Out from inside his cloak Observer produces the Sub-Zenki AntiRealizer, Adon steadies it and Butrfli activates it.)

All right, everything in reverse now.

(A poke, a touch, and a touch, adjusting power, reversing the polarity, and once ignited, a blue wave of energy seeps slowly toward the rift. It begins to close faster and faster...)

Let me try something...
Butrfli chants softly, the air around her hands begin to glow, then the hands themselves, and the glow is transfered to the AntiRealizer. The glow joins the wave, accelerating the rift's closing closing. Butrfli stumbles a bit.
I just used a tiny bit Reality to accelerate the rift's closing. For some reason, it took a bit out of me...

(Instead of answering Masked Enigma, Delevoix wanders over to the forward section of the room, to one of the huge curved windows which surround Zen Forward on all sides.)

There appears to be a battle going on outside. Why did we not hear of this?

`Gremlin' Garrison's voice comes over Adon and Kiehart's comms.

We've got to go. I just received a message from Captain Biggens. The strange ship that attacked us has returned, and we need to go help blow it out of existence!

The Phoenix and Scorpion fighters fly off.

(The rift seals up and Shadow Senshi relaxes)

Glad... that's... over with. Feel... so... ti...

(Drained by the experience she passes out and her shadow form begins to coalesce back into her human, vulnerable to outer space, form. Will one of the others realize what's happening and get her back to the ship in time? Dramatic music plays & cut to a commercial.)

Alex notices Shadow Senshi's changes and heads for her position. He opens an exterior compartment on his Banshee and scoops her up. When closed, the compartment leads to the cockpit of the Banshee.
Alex to Flight 3, let's get back to the ship!

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And now, back to our regularly scheduled program:

Uh, Alex, why not just beam her back to the ship?

Because it was much more dramatic the way I did it, Josh.
As the Banshees approach the fighter bay, Alex activates his ship's transporter system. A minute later, and he is alone again in his ship. In Sickbay, Shadow Senshi beams in on a biobed. She has a note on her saying "Here's a present for you, Doc. Alex Dupree."
Alex: Kiehart, Lopez, when we land, I want to discuss the general feel of the Banshee and what we can do to make things even better.

No, no way. If you want dramatic, beaming at the last possible second is the way to go. Or maybe that's just suspenseful.

Rikard to Kiehart, I'm kind of surprised that the Banshee cockpits can fit more than one. Most of the advanced fighters usually only fit one. Has it always been that way?

For the first time since it came through the rift, the red ship is completely silent, even to nearby telepaths. It hangs quietly in space for a couple of long minutes, then turns awkwardly and heads toward the Spidership.

As it draws near, Observer hears faintly permission....empty shuttle bay...? , but it trails off as the ship continues to move slowly in.

(Observer produces a comm badge from his pocket. Tapping it...)

Observer to Spidermobile. Request permission for the red ship to land in the emergency docking bay on Deck 3.

The red zone is for emergency docking and undocking.

The white zone is for regular docking and undocking.

Thank you.

No, the white zone is for emergency docking and undocking only. There is no docking in the red zone.

What about the green and blue zones?

"Uh, roger, go ahead."

But I don't wanna!

"Just open the emergency pod doors, Hal. I mean Roger."

Huh?

Jeanie, where's Roger? Doctor Bellows is expecting us any minute.

Kiehart's voice comes back over Alex's helmet comm. "Touch my ships in any way I don't like and you die." Lopez's voice comes next. "Exatcly WHEN were water guns installed? And Alex, how come your flight didn't use you tachyon cannons?" "Tachyon cannons?" Alex says. One of the other Banshee pilots, probalby the kind of schmuck who'd remind the teacher to assign homework the day before Christmas break in school, chimes in. "They do light damage to hull plating sir, but due to their energy signature they pass through a target's shields roughly 98.9% of the time."

(Meanwhile on station Z-Alpha a furry individual has encountered an elf)

Say, aren't you Manwolf the Marvelous of Lycanthrope IV?

"Why yes, I am."

(The elf shoots him with a silver bullet, killing him)

(Dead Lee turns the corner to see the Gerber Elf standing over his latest victim. The Elf turns and asks)

Elf: Hey, aren't you Lee Burr, the time-traveling assassin bent on killing the LICC?

Lee: Why yes, I am.

Elf: What a schmuck! Ha ha hahahahahahahaha! (The Elf just walks away laughing)

(Lee scratches his head in puzzlement) Lee: What the fnord was that about? (and continues on to find a way on board the Spidermobile)

Kiehart, I understand.
My water guns comment... no idea where that came from.
As for the cannons, I just hadn't noticed them before this.
Anyway Kiehart, my idea is to install neural link technology into some of the Banshees. That would allow the pilot to mentally connect with the ship's controls. It would allow for quicker responses on the pilot's part.
In my dimension, we only let the best pilots access to the technology, and only after massive training.

Milkshake walks back onto the bridge

They have SERIOUS regulations against letting people leave the starbase during red-alerts. All right, what's the situation?

The red ship drifts slowly into the small empty docking bay on Deck 3. It settles to the floor as the bay repressurizes, the translucent red fading to a quiet dull rust. A small opening appears in one side, and a slender figure stumbles out, gets its balance, and stands there for a long moment, one hand braced against the ship's hull for support--or perhaps for comfort.

The figure's clothes are torn and stained--they might have been almost any color originally. Roughly cropped short hair is a pale yellow, but she--up close the figure is clearly female--slumps a little, her head bowed in weariness.

Suddenly she turns to lean against the ship's hull and slides down it, dropping her head onto her knees, falling asleep right there in the docking bay.

Meanwhile, Butrfli has returned to the ship and the bridge. Jackson greets her
You did a good job.
No idea, Steve... It seems that we've picked up that little red ship...

The turbolift opens, and Gene Windward steps out, followed by several security members. He walks up to Commander Milkshake.

Commander Milkshake? My name is Gene Windward. May I speak to you in private somewhere?

I'm going to head back to the ship so I can keep an eye on that red ship. Besides, I'm almost out of air.

Adon flies off and lands in the docking bay, next to the red ship. He leans up against the bulkhead and watches the sleeping figure next to the ship, to make sure that she doesn't try anything.

(Observer drifts his piece of wreckage near the emergency shuttle bay, then quickly kicks off and enters the airlock adjacent to the bay. Adon turns as the airlock inside opens, and a shivering Observer steps out, rubbing both arms.)

Oh gads...it's cold. My spell was almost done, too. Did someone come out of the ship?

Certainly, Mr. Windward, we can speak in my Ready Room.

motions toward it

Meanwhile, the various LICC fighters have returned to the bay. Kiehart, Lopez, Rikard, and Alex are going over the ships, looking for damage and the like.
Alex: Well, all in all, I think the Banshees passed the test.

This looks like a tausk for... The Mausked Enigma!

The Masked Enigma ran into the docking bay, only to discover there was little cause for fighting, only a rust-red ship and a sleeping woman.

Or maybe it doesn't. Wait... it does!

The Masked Enigma then took off his costume, only to reveal, surprisingly, the uniform of a 21st century doctor underneath. He slapped a wig on his head - where he had got it from was uncertain, and slipped on a stethescope. All this was done in the space of a few seconds, to the surprise of Adon and Observer. When he spoke, it was in a German accent.

Ja, now it is time for ze doktor to preform ze tests. I vill listen to your heartbeat and make my diagnosis.

He held the stethescope to the girl's heart and listened, a look of exaggerated gravity on his face.

Seems fine. Zo I sink ve should take her to sickbay. Ahdon, Observer, vill you be up to zees task, or vill I have to help?

Ach! Mein enemy Jung muzt haf inviltraded zees board! I am ze only vun who talkz zis vay! (Exzept vor Ze French Knight, of courze!).

Der Masked Enigma must haf der paranoid schizophrenia mit der delusionz of der grandeur, ja? Zo. He should haf hiz zecretary call mein zecretary und mach der appointment!

How's it going, Frood-dude?

Hoopy frood dude?

Whoa, it's Zaphod! Let's take him back for our report!

Wait a second Ted, it's a history report, not an alien report.

Oh yeah...

Zigmund, shouldn't you be over on ze Phantom Returns, ja? I am sure you vill be most velcome there.

"Definately. The new girls are a tad sluggish but then again so was my personal fighter when I first put it together. A few more sorties and they'll purr like kittens." He looks at his portable chronometer. "Oh my, I forgot. Ranger needed me for something. Lopez, you're acting flight commander again." Kiehart runs towards the nearest turbolift before Grant Lopez can reply. He just looks at Alex Tacoman. "I hate it when he does that."

No problem, Enigma. It looks she's sleeping deep enough to be carr--

(Observer walks over to the girl leaning against the hull. As he gets near, the girl stirs a bit and her face is revealed for a second. Observer had been bending down to lift her, and suddenly he freezes, goes suddenly pale, and sinks to his knees. In his shock, he can only get out one word...)

ARTSY?

Alex: Is he usually like that?
Meanwhile, on the bridge, Jackson is casually checking various messages to the ship. One gets his attention, and he calls Butrfli over.
Well, they've delivered our new ship into the Spider's main shuttle bay. The only thing we have to do now is move our things from our quarters to the ship...
Butrfli: We can get some of the Yellowshirts to do it.. maybe a Redshirt or two.
Jackson: Makes sense.
Jackson deftly presses a few buttons on a nearby console, and the process begins...

At the sound of her name, the girl stirs again, lifting her head but still half asleep. Her face is thin and worn, a pale healed-over scar threading over one temple, back into her chopped-off hair.

"Artsy," Observer says again, this time in whisper of absolute certainty.

The girl's eyes flutter open. One hand reaches around herself in a frantic, clumsy motion to touch the hull of the red ship. The contact seems to soothe her, and she relaxes enough to focus on the face in front of her.

Hair and eyes flash a quick, faded blue, then red, then a dulled greyish gold as she manages a smile. Observer sees that a streak of her hair remains white, continuing that scar. There is a flicker of light where her hand rests on the ship's hull, but Artsy only shakes her head once, and it fades. Still struggling to focus through her weariness, she takes her hand from the red ship and reaches out to touch Observer's arm. The effort seems to exhaust her, and she slumps forward again, almost into his arms--unconscious.

(Without another word, Observer gathers the limp girl up in his arms, and vanishes. Barely a second later, they rematerialize in sickbay. Observer lays Artsy down on the nearest biobed and snaps off a command to the computer.)

Activate EMH!

(Holodoc appears, and begins to scan Artsy without being told once. As he works, the sentient hologram glances up once or twice at Observer, who stands still, watching the girl with a mixture of emotions on his face.)

(Shadow Senshi, who had been beamed to the Sickbay a few minutes earlier, regains consciousness as the holodoc is running somekinda healing device over her)

Wha... How did I get here?

Holodoc: You were beamed in by Alex Tacoman. You had passed out from exhaustion, and had begun to show some effects of depressurization. (He shut off the purple-rayed device) I reccomend you get some rest.

Okay. (She noticed the EMH working on Artsy on the other side of the room) Am I seeing double?

Holodoc: No, that's the Emergency Medical Hologram. I am a Longterm Medical Hologram. It's useful for multiple patient situations, or if I wish to play Double Solitaire.

Or perhaps you could double-team Adon the next time he's here?

Holodoc (Smiling): There's an idea.

(Lee managed to get aboard the Spidermobile by hitching a ride on a transporter beam using future technology. He rematerialized in what he thought was an empty cargo bay. His future knowledge of the Spidermobile's systems made it easy for him to cloak his presence from all ship's sensors.)

All right. Now I can finally destroy the League of Intergalactic Cosmic Champions. Now who should I kill first?

(he hears a noise, turns and sees a redshirt putting a large container up on a shelf. Deciding not to take any chances on being discovered he vaporizes the redshirt, which causes the container to fall... onto the cargo bay door & forcefield control unit... causing the cargo bay doors to open and keeping the forcefield off. Also the containers lid pops off spilling all the water that was inside enveloping Lee, as all the air, water & Lee are blown into space. As he flies away from the Spidermobile the water freezes around him.)

Screen Graphic: 50 years later

(the block of ice is picked up by a ship and Lee is thawed out)

When is this?

Crewmember: July 4, 3052.

I was born July 4, 3052. (He looks at his perpetual watch.) Right about n..urk!

(Lee falls dead to the floor and his spirit returns to the Afterlife where, oddly enough, Roxy is once again temping)

Roxy: Ya say yer name is Lee Burr?

Yes.

Roxy: Accordin' ta dis yas died 50 years ago! What took yuh so long?

*groan*

As Jackson and Butrfli are talking, they get a hail.
Holodoc to Butrfli, you may be married, but you still have a job to do.
Butrfli: We have patients?
Doc: Yes.
Butrfli: I'll be there soon. Turning to Jackson I have to go. It sounds like Sickbay is busy.
Jackson: Then go.
Butrfli rushes to the turbolift, and a few minutes later, she arrives in sickbay.
Ok, what's going on, and what can I do?

Thank you.

They enter Milkshake's Ready Room. Milkshake sits down behind his desk, and offers Gene a seat. Gene refuses it.

First of all, let me introduce myself, I am Gene Windward, a bounty hunter. Don't worry, I'm not here for you. With all the evil groups that you run into, the best way to track down my next job would be to stay with you and wait for my next payday to find us.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would like to join the LICC.

That's an admirable request but with the full crew we have now, regulations stipulate we only consider applicants who are presently or formerly members of the Department of Superheroics or present or former members of the Earth System Military. Are you one of these?

Behind Commander Milkshake, a strange spectre appears for a moment. It is blood-red and seems to be made entirely of... tape. It waves its tentacles in the direction of Milkshake's limbs as if he were a marionette. The monster spectre of red tape disappears as quickly as it appeared.

Kiehart tracks down Wayne and Kent. "Hey guys. Where's Quincy? He said the Space Marshalls needed us for something. I figured now is as good a time as any. My Banshee is all prepped, and I'm going to ask Ranger if I can bring the rest of the squad."

{Jackson looks up a a strange looking chronometer. It seems to register a different date then that of the LICC universe.}
I'm suprised that the Great Emancipator isn't here... It's the 4th of July in another major universe...

Jackson falls backwards as he is hit by a firework, exploding into a huge US flag. As it fades away, The Great Emancipator is visible.

"Happy Independence day, American superheroes! And happy Independence day to all other superheroes as well, because they all know to conform to American holidays!"

Suddenly, all through the ship a band playing 'Stars And Stripes Forever By John Philip Sousa' can be heard. Everyone salutes, the most reverent being The Great Emancipator.

"Sorry, I can't stay long. I'm off to visit other superhero groups and punish any one which has forgotten today's significance!"

And the lgihts go down throughout the ship, and there is a display of fireworks for the next several minutes - all the fireworks show images of American flags, American presidents, hot dogs, baseball bats, baseball gloves, baseballs, a map of America, The Great Emancipator, Neil Armstrong and the letters 'U.S.A', always next to each other.

What a ridiculous display.

Did you notice that the U was in red, the S was in white and the A was in blue? I thought not.

What have bright primary colors got to do with it?

Unfortunatly, I'm not. I'm just a bounty hunter. A good one, by most accounts.

Commander Milkshake shakes his head and denies Gene entry. As he's doing this, the Red Tape Monster appears behind him again.

Gene's eyes narrow, and he draws his pistol and fires so fast that Commander Milkshake barely saw the motion. It almost looked like the pistol appeared in Gene's hand. Gene fired just once, and the Red Tape Monster crumples up and withers away.

At the sound of gunfire, security rushes into the Ready Room. In one quick motion, Gene brought the gun around so the top of the barrel was resting on his shoulder, pointing behind him. The startled security forces found themselves staring down the barrel of his gun while he stood with his back to him. Every time they moved, the gun moved to keep their aim on them.

The standoff lasted for only a few seconds, before Gene holstered the gun.

It looks like there was some red tape at work here. How do you feel?

Milkshake idly brushes the gauntlet on his left wrist with his right finger. Then he stands up.

Mr. Windward, our business is concluded here. We will provide energy or shuttle transport back to the starbase. Thank you for visiting.

Very well.

Gene turns and walks out, thumbing the switch on the side of the gun as he leaves. The gun breaks open, with five shells and one empty casing popping out. Gene quickly snatches the live shells out of the air and reloads them into the gun. He lets the one used one fall to the deck, where it lands with a light "ping" sound.

Once the shuttle returns him to the Starbase, he touches his earring.

Pack everything up, Aurthor. We're leaving.

Once Gene turns to leave, Milkshake motions for two security officers to accompany him, dismissing the rest. After a short moment, Milkshake stands up, slowly walks toward the door and picks up the empty shell. He examines it closely, then as if dismissing the whole event, drops the shell in a desk drawer and returns to the bridge.

Butrfli, who has been helping treat Artsy and Shadow Senshi, looks up at the Doctor and says
Doctor, you realise that when Jackson and I leave, you'll be short a medical assistant, right?
I think Artsy will alright. It looks like she's suffering from extreme exaustion for some reason...
Doctor, you could always get four of you so you could play poker...

Ms. Superbe, perhaps we will have an ostentatious display 9 days hence? With the tricolor, of course.

Bleeeeeeeeeeep!

"Outer Terran Defense to U.S.S. Spidermobile. We have recieved a distress call from Calba II, approximately 4.5 light years from your position. An apparent pirate group is attacking the colony. You are ordered to respond and assist the colony immediately."

All stations, are we set?

Affirmative responses from everyone

Milkshake to all off-ship Spidermobile crew. We are departing in 5 minutes to answer a distress call in a nearby system. You have just enough time to rejoin the ship via a site-to-site transport, but we will return to the starbase within a day if all goes well. Milkshake out.

Conn, lay in a course. Warp 9.5.

Ready to go, Commander.

I've informed the day-care center.
Just then, a holo-stroller appears on the bridge. Inside are Fran and Logan. For a few brief moments, there is confusion on the bridge as people go over to play with the kids.
I'll just take them to our quarters.
Jackson and the holo-stroller enter the turbolift just as Alex is exiting it. Alex bends over and tickles the kids and then takes his station.
It's amazing what those Banshees can do. Tactical is ready, Commander.

Kiehart finally finds Rocket Ranger. "Hey, Quince. I'm finally ready to go. Do the Space Marshalls still need us? I put Grant Lopez in charge of Banshee Sqaud for the time being. I was going to bring them with us, but I figured they might be neede for this distress call."

Adon enters sickbay and walks over to Artsy's bed. He stands next to The Observer trying his best to ignore the two Holodocs walking around.

I'm sorry for trying to stop your ship back there.

Helm, engage.

The ship leaps to warp

The ship drops to impulse.

Six pirate ships of unknown origin are in the system. Three are in orbit around the colony, three are decending to the surface...

(Despite Doctor's orders to get some rest, Shadow Senshi was jumping up and down alone in her quarters)

Yes! All right! Wiigii!!! Momma has to go back home! Schwinggggg! Wheehehhehehehe!

I just need to get her in the shuttle. Dump her off at Neojapan and then come back.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!

(Eve & her mom leave before the Spidermobile jumps to warp)

Aarrrrrrrr. I have nothing to do with those pirates, but please buy my rum. Now made with an old-fashioned Aldebaran recipe.

Kiehart, the Banshees better stay here. I just received a message from Shirana about 35 minutes ago. There's been a change of plans. She wants us to meet her on Klysturn VII.

He picks up a PADD, and hands it to Kiehart.

Keep this with you. Might be a good idea to take notes.

Starts to head for the door.

Do you want to take your fighter, or ride in the SnowCrane with me?

So that is actually a NotePADD!

It can also be used to grow flowers.

So it's a LilyPADD!

As well as provide a home for mice.

So it's a MousePADD!

And clears up zits.

A StridexPADD!

And an apprentice Jedi.

A PADDawan!

And it can be used in a canoe.

A PADDle!

Or to fill up time in a TV show.

PADDing!

But most importantly it can be used to protect things from theives.

A PADDlock!

Enough with the stuPADD puns!

We need a PADDed cell I think.

And don't forget LICC author...
PADDawan Observer...
Of course, a flat-chested woman would wear..
a PADDed bra!
The bear who had adventures..
PADDington Bear
And where do we keep all these things?
That's right, in a PADDock

Alex, send out the standard 'cease and withdraw' hail and fire a few warning shots. At this range we'll most likely miss, but we'll let the phasers speak for themselves.

Artsy opens her eyes again, smiling a little at Butrfli, then turning her gaze to Observer. Her smile grows broader, and even her clothing shows gold beneath its stains. She opens her mouth to speak--but closes it again, looking befuddled. After a moment she also closes her eyes, tightly, and concentrates for a moment.

A flicker like the echo of a long-faded telepathic signal blinks in the room. Sighing heavily, Artsy looks at Observer and tries again to speak. "Ah...I....I'm glad....to see you." In relief she sighs again and gold replaces her frustrated dusky blue. Her gaze shifts momentarily to Adon. "Hey....shoul...ah...say sorry to my ship...n'me."

Then she seems to forget he is there, looking at Observer again, exhaustion still heavy in her face. "How long...?"

(Observer quickly pulls up a stool and sits down beside Artsy's bed, relief evident on his face.)

Almost three months now. How are you feeling?

Kiehart stuffs the padd in his jacket pocket and nods. "I'll take my fighter. No one else can use it anyway. At least not until I've figured out why I can't get the computer to accept Lopez's code. Banshee will just short a pilot and a ship for the time being."

I wanted to be a pirate, but I flunked out of pirate school. I couldn't pass the three arrrrs.

I want to be a pirate.
I want to be a fireman.
Talk to you later.

My dad wanted me to be a pirate, but my nanny misheard and thought he said pilot.

Rawk! Avast mateys! Prepare to be boarded and surrender your crackers! Brawk!

*whistle* Pretty bird! Pretty bird! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Bits that is. Brawk! We're also computer parrots. Hee hee hee! Rawk!

Aye sir, hailing and firing!
Alex presses a series of buttons on his console. One sends the audio message, and the other sends the phaser messages.
Sir, we're being hailed!

Put it on!

"This is the colony on Calba II. Our defenses are inoperable, and we detect three ships heading towards us! They have made no attempt at communication. Please assist!"

On the viewscreen, the three pirates outside Calba's atmosphere take no action to avoid the phaserfire, rather, they join formation...and begin to charge directly at the Spidermobile!

Launch fighters to take care of the planetary pirates. Alex, time to show off your marksmanship. Don't let them get too close.

Ansh runs into sickbay with Quito on her back. She runs to Artsy and takes her hand.

Glory and trumpets! You're awake!

She then lifts Quito of her back and gives her to Artsy. The little Alien snuggles into Artsy's outstreached arms.

(Observer laughs)

Hold on now, don't overwhelm her, she's had a hard time. Do you need anything, Artsy? A painkiller, something to drink?

Do you want me to hit them, or just barely miss them?

Rikard watches as the pirate ships continue to fly on their collision course toward the Spidership. Alex is able to hit them with concentrated phaser fire but only manages to destroy one ship. The ships get closer.

Um, Alex? Arm the torpdoes! Give them all we've got!

Alex complies and several torpedoes join the phaser beams. One of the pirate ships are immeadiately vaporized. The other is crippled and knocked off course. However, it does so very closely to the Spidership and ends up bouncing off of the Spider's shields. This results in many of the ship's unseat-belted occupants being violently thrown around.

They're on a collision course. Just hit them!

A redshirt is thrown into a console, which explodes, killing him in Star Trek(tm) style.

The third pirate, against all common sense, attempts to retreat by jumping to warp. The effect of the field on the damaged vessel is very similar to that of a hen egg being used to deflect an iron asteroid. One of the remaining pirate ships reverses course and heads out of the colony's atmosphere, while the other two continue their leisurely course toward the settlement.

Milkshake picks himself off the floor, belts himself into his seat, and checks the tactical sensors on the command chair holoscreen.

Where are our fighters? It'd be a good idea to engage the planetary enemies before they get near the colony. Tactical, target that approaching ship and fire.

Alex focuses all the phasers on the one ship, instantly destroying it.
I'm reading what could be cloaked ships, sir...

Milkshake pulls up the appropriate sensor data on his screen.

Yes, the signature looks pretty close. Try...

The cloaked signatures fade

Hmm, could be sensor ghosts. No matter, we have more important business. Helm, take us towards the planet.

Sickbay rocks as the pirate ship bounces off of the Spidership's shields.

I guess I had better see what's going on. Excuse me.

He turns towards one of the Holodocs.

Too bad I can't stay.

Before Holodoc can say anything, Adon is beamed out of Sickbay. Moments later, his suits leaves the ship.

It flies ahead of the lead pirate ship and transforms into Robot Mode.

Spidership, I need all the tactical data on these ships.

Adon gets the data just before the pirate ship rams him. The suit grabs hold of the ship, much like Adon did with the red ship, and fires all of its engines to try and stop it.

The ship slows, but doesn't stop. The suit's shoulder blocks open and it opens fire from the weapons hidden there, raking fire down the middle of the ship. With its engines damaged, the suit is able to literally throw it away from the planet. The ship goes spinning off into interstellar space.

Shouldn't he only throw it into interplanetary space? If he threw it into interstellar space, he almost had to have thrown it at warp.

Just like its sister ship, the crippled pirate that Adon had thrown jumps to warp. Like its sister ship, it suffers the same fate.

THIS IS THE BSA. WE UNDERSTAND YOU ARE PIRATES. PREPARE TO BE BOARDED AND AUDITED FOR ILLEGAL SOFTWARE.

What? They're not that kind of pirates? They're real pirates!?!?! Oh, that's very different.

NEVER MIND.

Artsy pushes herself to a sitting position, using one hand to support herself and wrapping the other around Quito. "Whoo....Qui...you've grown. Ansh...hey." She glances at Observer again. "Drink would be...good."

Quito hugs her again and Artsy's eyes widen at the telepathic burst of information that accompanies it, the alien's equivalent of chattering non-stop about everything that happened while she was gone. "Sh, shhhh, shhhhh!" Artsy cautions her. "You'll wake...I...he's sleeping. Shhh." But her voice has gotten stronger, surer of its words, and for a few long moments she listens to Quito's "talk," silently moving her own lips now and then as if she were communicating with the child's own ability.

When Observer returns with a glass of water for her, Artsy takes it but pauses before drinking. "Adon...he's here, he's okay. What about...the captain? Tacoman? Quito gives me different pictures...."

Alex checks the sensors
Sir, there's one more pirate ship out there. Should I blast it to oblivion, or do we let the fighters do the work?

Go for it, Alex, but don't interfere with the fighters if they intercept before we do.

Jackson is alive. They've both returned from the Afterlife, but somehow I don't think it was without a price. We'll just have to see what happens.

Aye, sir.
Alex targets his prey, and then fires. His first couple of shots barely miss, giving the pirate time to thank his lucky stars. The next two shots are direct hits, severly damaging and then destroying the pirate ship.
Something like that?

Suddenly Alex notices a large explosion from behind him. Out form a cloud of debris flies Grant Lopez. He hears the pilot's voice over his helemt comm. "OK, Alex, take Three Flight and go back and cover the Spidership. One Flight, Two Flight, cover me. We're going to bat clean-up."

Fighters, return to base. Scope is green, no hostiles. Good shooting, Alex. Somebody contact the colony, see if they're all right.

Mr. Lopez, are you hallucinating? Commander Dupree is here on the bridge. Perhaps you should report to Sickbay.

All fighters return to the Spidership. All enemy ships have been dealt with.

[WRITER'S NOTE: I hear the words 'sights' and 'firing' and I think fighter-to-fighter combat. Sue me.]

"No sir, I was just complimneting Mr. Dupree on his weapons abilites. I've rarely met someone who could handle large ship wepaons AND small ship weapons with equal skill."

Artsy mouths Observer's last couple of words silently, "A price," and for a moment her eyes unfocus, all the color seeming to drain out of her. She absently rubs her hands together and Observer notices that there is no sparkle of the crystalline ring that should be on her right forefinger....

But the moment passes. Artsy drinks from the glass he brought, and thanks him. Quito has not yet quieted her storytelling. After a brief wince at something only she can feel, Artsy whispers in Quito's ear and the child jumps down to the floor, glowing with anticipation. Arsty nods to her, and Quito bounces out of the room.

As she leaves through the open door, someone else pokes her head in--Enesku.

Well, the threat's over with the pirates. Anything else we should know about? Anything new? And what about that red ship? Did we ever find out who was on it?

The threat's over??? No dragging it it out? No extraneous added complications? No villains who refuse to die? I think that's a record for this show.

Maybe they hired some writers from Reader's Digest?

Butrfli wanders over after working on Adon and looks down at Artsy.
What happened out there? And yes, Jackson is just fine. In fact, we just bought a spaceship at Z-Alpha and are eventually going to leave the Spidership and go on our combined honeymoon/see the universe tour... Hi Enesku. Looks like we've got the beginnings of an old fashioned slumber party.

Butrfli, Artsy & Enesku were having a slumber party. They had just had a pillow fight and were lounging around in lingerie, when Enesku commented how hot she was because she normally slept in the nude...

Bweeeeeep...

"Spidermobile! This is Starbase Z-Alpha! We have come under attack by unknown aggressors! They have currently withdrawn, but it is unknown if they will return. Please help us!"

Go to the starbase. "Oh, no! We have to go to the planet!" Go to the planet. "Oh no! We have to go back to the starbase!" Go back to the starbase...

I just want you to know I'm feeling very depressed.

Helm, back to Z-Alpha, pedal to the metal. Engage!

Well, as it happens, Butterfly or whatever you call yourself, Artsy and I were having a slumber party. Well, we were going to, but it kind of didn't go very far. I had a mirror we were fooling around with and we called up Mary Worth! And, that's kind of how Artsy, um, disappeared.

Which reminds me Artsy... how did you get on with Mary Worth? Did you give her a stiff dose of girl power? Oh, wait... Mary Worth is also kind of a girl, I suppose. Well, what happened anyway?

Commander, I am getting reports from all decks. a few blown out wall consules but that's about it.

Commander, sensors report the approach of the next board...

After learning that the occupant from the red ship was now in Sickbay, Rikard makes his way there so he can report it to the bridge crew. The turbolift he is on stops and he walks toward the doors to Sickbay. They open and he walks in to see Butrfli, the Observer, Adon, Ansh, Quito, and Enesku surrounding a bed.
So, why the crowd around our g-?
He stops mid-sentence when he sees who's is lying in the bed. His eyes widen and his mouth drops before he realizes that the entire group is staring at him, the executive officer of the starship, being very unprofessinal. But he doesn't really care at the moment.
Artsy?

At Enesku's mention of Mary Worth, Artsy's hand goes to her right temple, as if the scar there still pained her. Deep, bleak black, except for that streak of hair, she stammers, "Could we not...talk about...." Then something seems to occur to her. Artsy lifts her head, almost as if listening, and she nods, the black fading to gray.

"It wasn't...plesant." Artsy paused. "I don't remember it all, but... it was all red there, dark and it hurt my eyes. I don't know how long we fought. I got away; she would find me again." Artsy clasps her hand tightly to the scar, pressing as if to drive something away. "It hurt. I lost...my ring, and...."

She takes a deep breath, not looking at anyone. "Seeker was lost, and he found me, and things...got better."

I strike again!

viewer 1 "Man, what's wrong with this show lately?"

viewer 2 "Yeah, they don't normally have this many out-of-sequence shots in one episode."

viewer 3 "And did you notice that it looked like Sailor Senshi was still in the other bed in Sickbay, when she'd already left the ship."

viewer 4 "Maybe they're setting up a storyline involving time being disrupted?"

the other three threw their pillows at the fourth viewer. then somebody complained about being too hot...

Man, these blue mushrooms are a trip. I'm flying!

(Robot Redshirt, walking backwards, enters the Bridge & walks up to Captain Milkshake)

.kcuts si nottub dniwer ym ro ,muunitnoc emit/ecaps eht htiw gnorw ylsuoires si gnihtemos rehtie tub ,ris ,em esucxE

Butrfli looks over in the corner at her staff, and at a word of command, it carefully flys into her hand.
I think we may be needing this soon...

Seeker?

No, it's just your rewind button, RR. I'll get someone from Engineering to take a look at it.

Artsy looks quizzically at Observer for a moment. "Oh! I guess you didn't actually meet him. He was asleep when you woke me up." She ponders for a moment. "He's awake now, I think; Quito woke him." Artsy's gaze is completely guileless, and she seems to have perked up remarkably at the thought of "Seeker". "Like to meet him?" she asks Observer, not seeing the odd look he gives her.

At that moment she notices Rikard. "Josh! You should come too. You'll like Seeker. But we have to go back to the shuttle bay...."

Artsy slides off the bed and tries to stand; Observer has to catch her the first time she tries, but within a couple of minutes she is standing on her own.

Rikard continues to stare in shock as he brings up his communicator.
Rikard to bridge. It appears that one of the occupants from the red ship we took aboard is Artsy-Fartsy.
He still stares as he puts the comm away.
The shuttlebay you said?

(Observer still looks a bit concerned)

Are you sure you're well enough to go?

Artsy nods, though more slowly now. "Fine. I'm fine." She looks around at the little group--Ansh, Enesku, Observer, Rikard, Butrfli--and frowns. "Are you all coming? I don't know if he... well, he will meet all of you sooner or later. It's just.... We were pretty much alone...there." Artsy shrugs her shoulders and brightens again, gray fading towards yellow.

Well, you might need somebody to monitor you in person...
Butrfli looks at the Doctors
One of you should come with us, just in case we need major medical attention.

(Observer clears his throat)

I think what Artsy meant is only one or two should accompany her, to avoid startling her companion. She can be monitored by the computer. Whatever you decide will be fine, Artsy.

The Furby wanders into sickbay.

Hey, Artsy! Nice to have you back! Obviously the reports of your death were somehow exaggerated.

But - you are looking very exhausted. What the Heckler&Koch did happen to you? Waitasecond...

He pulls out his big spellbook and starts to chant.He chants... and chants... and chants... until he finally runs out of spell points and Artsy feels better.

Huh. Would you all please excuse me now, I'll need some time to recharge.

Leaves.

And oddly enough the Sickbay suddenly has an assortment of leaves over it's floor

Earth Maple, Betalguessian Birch, Antarean Apple, Centaurus Cannabis, Sirian Dogwood... The least he could have done was to help rake it all up.

Holodoc creates a holographic rake and hands it to the EMH

Hey, why do I have to rake it up?

Because I outrank you.

Grumbling the EMH turns into a copy of Boothby and begins raking the leaves

Artsy looks gratefully at Observer. "Thanks. Yes, maybe just a couple of you this time...?"

"Oh, thank you, Furby," she calls after the little fuzzy being....