Nitcentral's Bulletin Brash Reflections: Best/ Worst TV Commercials

Best/ Worst TV Commercials

Nitcentral's Bulletin Brash Reflections: The Kitchen Sink: Media (TV, Print, Sports, etc.): Commercials: Best/Worst Commercials Part III: Best/ Worst TV Commercials

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 7:31 am:

Comments originally posted on the original Worst commercials board.

This is the place to talk about what you think are the worst commercials. Granted this can be a volatile topic but let's keep it clean and fun!
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By Anonymous on Thursday, October 14, 1999 - 10:39 pm:

I would like to cast a vote for the worst commercial being the Nicotrol (spelling?) Inhaler. The guy is using, apparently, a feminine hygenie product in order to stop smoking. He asks his friend how he looks, and she says, "Surprisingly Intelligent".
Sure, surprisingly intelligent for a guy who's smoking a tampon!
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 12:01 am:

I've always questioned that. Why are they trying to wean people off of smoking with something that might as well be a cigarette? This is like trying to get someone to quit watching Trek by showing them Voyager. (Advance apology to Voyager fans, I simply do not like the show.)
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By ScottN on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 03:31 am:

Because, Matt, they are still getting their nicotine fix, but without the tars and other carcinogens (not that nicotine is good for you...)

That way, the nicotine dose can be gradually lowered, while minimizing the other side effects.
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By MarkN on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 05:27 am:

So many worst commercials, so little time to denigrate them all. However, there are many things about commmercials in general that I hate, numero uno being that 99.99% of ads, on tv, epecially, are false advertisements, if not in what they say then definitely how they portray the product. Frinstance, when's the last time you had a bad cold or sleepless night and you're lying in bed with a camera crew right there in your bedroom with you and you simply didn't acknowledge their presence, or mind it?
How can a camera follow a can of soda as it flies thru the air over great distances, over and thru obstacles, and then to be caught in midair by some skaterdude doing stunts on top of some skyscraper?
And why, oh, why are men so often portrayed as idiots? Sure, some are, but tv ads give the impression we all are.
Some ads are funny, like, the first time, and only then not very. Maybe I tend to analyze them too much but it just irks me that ads use stup¡d tactics to sell their products. The Gap ads are annoying (although they do have some cute girls on them), car ads always seem to show their particular models driving along the same curves and then there's that idiotic Pop Secret ad where a group of losers driving around in a van and are using sophisticated electronic devices searching for homemade popcorn with just the right amount of butter in it, and they practically abduct an old grandmother who doesn't mind one little bit about it, either.

Well, I see that I'm about to go off on another long rant, but I won't cuz I think my point's been pretty much made clear: I hate commercials.
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By margie on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 03:50 pm:

There's a tire commercial (I think it's for Michelin (sp?)) that's at a baby shower. The guest of honor gets tires & acts like they're the best gift she ever got! Not only is it rather dumb, but the squeals from all the women really get on my nerves!
Also, from way back, the "wimpy, wimpy, wimpy. HEFTY, HEFTY, HEFTY" commercial was bad, especially when my parakeet started imitating it!
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By juli k on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 08:07 pm:

I am really dating myself, but here goes:

(you supply the high-pitched nasal whine) "RING AROUND THE COOOOOOLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!"

AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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By juli k on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 08:10 pm:

Here's another one. I don't even remember what it was advertising; I have tried to block it out of my memory as much as possible:

"Ancient Chinese secret!"

(Do the worst commercials all have to do with laundry, or what?)
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By Mike Ram on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 09:06 pm:

I think the phone deal commercials are HILARIOUS!!! Not because they are good or anything, but because it's just so funny to watch a guy talk to himself about how 10-10-321 is the best long distance rate or something. He walks down the street and sees a dollar on the ground and starts talking to himself like an idiot. Apparently these long numbers are all the rage...NOT!
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By Butch Brookshier on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 10:18 pm:

I really dislike the Michelin tire ads from the last several years. These ads imply that if you don't buy Michelins your children will die. The whole "playing on your fears" type ads I always find insulting. juli k, I agree with you about the "Ring around the collar" ads. The screeching voices always made me react like fingernails on a blackboard.
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By Jon Wade on Saturday, October 16, 1999 - 05:51 pm:

Here in the Kansas City area, we have a place called "The Half-Price Store."

They produced a series of commercials where a guy with glasses and a bag entered a situation, commented on the clothing of an unlucky soul, and then pulled out the identical clothing out of his bag exclaiming "It's the same thing!" It got annoying after a while.
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By Meg on Sunday, October 17, 1999 - 08:39 pm:

I remember awhile back For JFG coffee. The people would take a dip and say "JF Geee?!" Because they were so surprised about the coffee. I've never seen a person take a sip and them say the name brand of the coffee in a surprised voice. That's why this one is so stoopid.

On those GAP commericals--I wish they could stop. The songs get stuck in my head too many times, especially before a test one always pops up.
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By Stephen on Sunday, October 17, 1999 - 10:31 pm:

Ads for vaginal yeast infection cures are weird. I'd never heard of the problem. Is it really that common that they need to advertise the cure?
Apparently they'd only just received FDA approval but still...
Then there's any jeans commercial which shows thin models who look sexier in those jeans...but there's plenty of unattractive skinny people who could wear those jeans and not look any sexier.
And in the 70s there was a TV commercial for Jack-in-the-box restaurants, and somebody off-camera was tickling the kid so he was giggling so much I couldn't tell what product he was selling.
Mad TV and sometimes Sat. Night Live sometimes have really great parodies showing how dumb the commericials are.
By the way, the "ancient Chinese secret" was for Calgon laundry detergent. I didn't think that was as bad an ad as some.
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By ScottN on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 02:35 am:

How about ANY feminine hygiene product? Do you women really talk with your mothers that way? You know,

"Mom, do you ever have that... not so fresh feeling?"
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By Terry Ferrante on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 08:53 am:

There's A Kind of Thrush (All Over My Girl)....
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 12:33 pm:

Anything relating to adult diapers. The way they try to get around what it's actually absorbing is funny, but very little else.
The SNL parody, "Oops, I Crapped My Pants," is much better, but slightly gross.
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By ScottN on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 12:50 pm:

Any late nite infomercial. Especially that spray-on hair!
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By ScottN on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 12:53 pm:

Or the psychic friends network (PFN)... I'm always tempted to call them, and if they say, "Hi, who is this?" tell them, "You're the psychic, you tell me!"

[off topic rant]
You know the PFN has become too mainstream when... A local news anchor droid reported on the Nobel in Chemistry going to a local physicist. She said he was a "Professor of Psychics"... it slid until they were just about to do the next fluff item and they corrected it.
[end off topic rant]
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 01:25 pm:

That's almost exactly what happened to me! A few years ago, we were getting calls from the Psychic Friends. It was always the same. "Hi, I'm Vanessa, and I'm from the Psychic Friends. How are you doing today?" Why don't you tell me, lady?

I actually liked the infomercial for the Red Devil Outdoor Cooking System. Blond British guy named Mick, blond wife named Mimi, guests asking dumb questions, yet somehow it's all funny.
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By rachgd on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 11:22 pm:

I'm a big fan of the Danny Bonaduce "talk show", featuring guest Kevin Trudeau - you know, the Mega Memory guy. It's so incredibly bad, it's funny.

Worst infomercials have to do with telling Americans (and, yes, they're almost always directed at Americans) just how lazy and fat they are...but, for just ten low payments of $75, you too can look like Lorenzo Lamas, or some chick from Baywatch!
(This is not a guarantee.)

I mean, it's rude.

Also, I passionately detest the ones that put Australian voices over talking Americans, trying to make it look as though they were produced here, when, of course, they weren't.

However, you haven't truly experienced the pain of a really bad infomercial until you've seen the ones Australians actually do produce...
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By MarkN on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 08:04 am:

How about those collect call commercials that make it sound like you're doing someone else a favor by saving them 44% or whatever the amount is over the regular collect rates if they accept the charges?

Then, as if that's not bad enough, they use Damon Wayans as that stup¡d Sergeant Savings. Why not name him Major Savings instead? Good play on words for a stup¡d ad. David Arquette doing those stup¡d ATT ads is kinda fitting cuz he semes like such a nut anyway. I very strongly doubt his marriage with Courtney will last long, but hey, stranger things have happened (OK, ok, getting off-topic here).

And let's not forget the Taco Bell Chalupa ad! A bunch of cops are gonna bust in on some schlub's house just cuz he's eating something that he got at a fast food joint? Puh-leeeeeze! And never mind for a moment that there's a hungry, talking, wide-eyed Chihuahua (which isn't even male but played by a female!) with them!

Why, oh, why, oh, why do so many commercials have to be so stup¡d? Well, they obviously know that we remember the stup¡d ones the most. Unfortunate, I know, but it's true.
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 11:33 am:

David Arquette does that AT&T ads? I thought that was Paul Reiser? Or are you talking the 1-800-CALLATT instead of the long distance?
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By margie on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 01:37 pm:

What is the point of those Chalupa ads, anyway? Why should the guy put it down? I really don't get that one.
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By Taco Bell on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 03:07 pm:

"Margie...just drop the Chalupa...ok? Just put it down....I said....Drop the Chalupa!"
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 03:16 pm:

There is one commercial...about some fancy smancy luxury car, that starts off with the most god awful music I have EVER heard! Then ends with some baby in the back seat throwing a toy at the dad who was ogling some rich chick in the next car.
uh! I hate that commercial! The music is just plain HORRIBLE!

Another bad car commercial is the Dodge: Different BS. All they show is like a bunch of black ants and then one red ant. Or then a bunch of potatos and one jalepeno. What the heck is up with these dumb commercials???? Are they saying dodge is different from other cars? No sorry, but any dodge is like any other car just slightly different. Every car is slightly different. Or is the commercial telling you to be different by buying dodge?
Yeah...that'll work...EVERYONE by the exact same car to be different! LOL about as funny as Sprite and their "Image is nothing" BS.
I just hate sprite commercials...in one they show some basketball player endorsing a drink and then everytime he says the name you see money appear for him! That is SO hypocritical! They are saying don't listen to the basketball player...yet they hired one for their commercial. The only GOOD sprite commericials are the one like the wrestling ones.
You know, the kid has his wish come true and can wrestle some WWF guy? But before he does so he takes a swig of sprite to make him stronger...and ends up getting the snot kicked outta him...I laughed because finally a drink commercial admits that drinking whatever will not make you better!

ok...wel...I've ranted long enough....who's next to rant?? ;-)
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 04:24 pm:

Dan, that's the VW Passat. The whole point is that they are actually both married (presumably to someone else) with kids.
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By Mike Ram on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 08:48 pm:

I would have to say that that drug commercials where the woman smokes THROUGH HER NECK and the woman takes HER FACE APART after doing heroin are some of the sickest commercials I have ever seen. If those don't keep you from puffing or shooting...I'm not sure much else will. *shiver*

Dan, Sting (The wrestling guy) is actually from crappy WCW. Not that it realy matters...
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 09:27 pm:

The VW? Well whatever their point was that horrible music makes me switch channels anytime I see it!
WCW? WWF...same thing...I don't bother with that wrestling stuff.
Mike, I agree! Those commercials are disgusting! Yeah they are about the dangers of smoking, etc. but PUHLEASE! I know plenty of people who smoke all their lives and have nothing wrong with them. I smoke a few cigs every day and I can quit anytime. Proof? I haven't had one in a week. I just use it to calm down once in a while.
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 10:16 pm:

Dan: Sorry, but I just have to laugh. You smoke a few every day. Just for argument's sake, you smoke four every day. Each cigarette takes fifteen minutes off of your life. That's an hour a day. You do that for a year, and you've got 365 hours, or 15.20833333333333333333333 days taken off your life. Every two years, you take a month off your life. And that life is probably not going to be the greatest one, once you get into that age and emphysema and heart disease stuff. You shouldn't need to rely on a cigarette to calm you down. It's dangerous and you're fooling yourslelf if you think that you're not suffering any damage because of it.
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By Mike Ram on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:27 am:

I could offer some personal experiences with that kind of stuff, but since it would be off-topic...Well, anyway, Matt is right, Dan. Sorry to say it, bud.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:37 am:

Speaking of Feminine hygene comercials, what about allt he ones the show women who are supossed to be on their periods but they are bouncing arround and dacing and rinding bikes and doing tricks, all becuase they have a really special brand of tampon. And yes the yeast infection ones are annoying and can be gross as well.

the comercials for fido cell phones are really anoying. The first one I remember was the one witht he idiot talking into a dogs ear.
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By Dan R. on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 01:02 am:

15 days? thats it? LOL thats providing my weight doesn't kill me first. Or since I live in the DC area, I don't get shot first.
Which BTW, is another reason I smoke (er...the weight thing...not the DC thing). Smoking kills my appetite and I have lost 15 pounds since I started thanks to it. I'd much rather be skinny than fat.

I always hated those commercials too. If they are having their period...I seriously doubt they are out jumping around. The women I know would rather sit and rest because they feel like crud.
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 02:54 am:

Don't know the name of the company, but it features a couple driving their car down a road while this lame music plays and all the movement is synchronized. At the end the guy says, "That was interesting." I guess he was watching a different commercial than I was.

Some commercials are just bad because they try to be sarcastic and assume people will get it. Not to long ago there was an anti-drug commercial that had a real happy song, while showing someone going through withdrawel, unfortunately, if you were in the kitchen just listening to the song, you'd think it was a pro-drug spot. A similar problem comes with a commercial trying to warn kids about becoming overweight by showing kids pigging out on "gopher cakes." Sadly, I think most kids are too young to get the message and probably bug their parents to buy them Gopher Cakes.

The 7-Up commercials "Are you an UN?" When these idiotic things started, I thought they were advertisements for some kind of video game or role playing game along the lines of Paranoia.
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By Dan R. on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 03:40 am:

I liked those commercials with that song! I thought it was cool how every was in beat with the music....well I guess it's just me then...

I never saw those commercials you are referring to. I never saw the happy pro drug one or that anti fat one or whatever it was. When and where did these air?

Ug! Those 7 Up commercials are as bad as sprite...hypocritical. The 7 commercials are basically saying "don't be like the rest drink what you want...be an Un...in other words...BE LIKE EVERYONE AND DRINK 7 UP!"

I liked the intial commercials the first time around...you know where the head was in the suitcase and it freaked out the woman and security guard. Thats when I thought it would be something cool they were advertising....but nope. Soda...

Personally I don't get WHY these companies bother to advertise. I NEVER in my life bought a product thanks to a commercial I see. I eat at McDonalds and not burger king because to me McD's tastes better. I buy N64 games because of previews I see in mags and the web.
But then again the commercials DO pay for the shows...so I will tollerate them...but somethings are ridiculous when it comes to advertisements...like in hockey games, the boards have logos all over them (same as race car drivers). Do they actually think I will watch a Caps game, see a Sony logo and I will automatically want to go out and buy sony junk??? THE worst thing I have seen is companies put there names on stadiums and arenas. Whatever happened to giving the stadium a good name?
There have been historical buildings in NHL history...and the names of the buildings are reflective. Like Jou Louis Arena, etc. Jeez I mean who is gonna switch to MCI simply because thats the name of the building the Caps' play in????
:HUFF HUFF: (wipes sweat from forehead...)
Ok....well...I'm done ranting....AGAIN...man...shows ya how much I hate commercials, eh? ;-)
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By margie on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 08:00 am:

I think somewhere in Europe the commercials are shown at the end of tv shows, in a block of, like, 10 to 15 minutes. That's be great - I could get so much done in that time! But it'd never fly here.

That Omnipoint parrot is starting to get on my nerves.
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By Dan R. on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 09:54 am:

Hey! Now I wouldn't mind that Margie! That way I can get up, go to the bathroom, get a snack and be back before the next show starts! I really like that idea! The US should defintly adopt that European bit! :-)
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 11:25 am:

Dan R: You're not alone, my mom likes the music in that commercial.

I saw the drug commercial first on Saturday Night Live and thought it was a sketch, but then I saw it on some other late night shows. It didn't run too long.

The Gopher Cakes commercial has run a few more times. I've seen it during cartoons and on PBS.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 11:40 am:

The car commercial with the synchronized music is also VW (don't remember the car model - possibly the Jetta?).
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By ScottN on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 11:42 am:

How about the E-trade commercial where the guy sees his stock go up, runs to tell the boss where to get off, and comes back to find that it went down. Can you say "Sell before you P.O. the boss?" DUH!
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By Dan R. on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:30 pm:

On SNL? Hmmm..I usually don't watch late night, I wonder why they only appeared during those hours? I mean those who do use drugs are usually out partying on Saturday night so its unlikely they would see those anti drug commericial on SNL.
PBS runs commercials? I thought they were commercial free and relied on viewers...course I don't watch PBS so that also explains why I haven't see the gopher cakes commercial...

I think it was the VW Jetta but I'm not sure. It's been a while since I have seen it.

I kinda liked that stock commercial. it's a little funny but of course dumb. I would certainly make sure to SELL before going off and telling of the boss! I think anyone would! ;-)

But I don't mess with stocks...too confusing...(I mean does stock really soar like that and then die???) though if I had knowledge about some good stock that I would know would go up I would buy it...for example...I will use my poor poor (er...poor as in pity not finance) business teacher in HS. When he was in college (he is pretty young so it's not too long ago) he and his business buddies had a chance to buy some real cheap stock in a company just getting started. He wanted to buy some but the group declined and he missed out. That stock...was Iomega...right before all those nice ZIP drives went out...and the stock soared and my teach was still kicking himself to the day because he didn't buy any stock and he had the chance... oh well...here I am rambling again. I better stop....Have I annoyed yall enough lately? ;-)
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By Mike Ram on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 08:46 pm:

I don't know what drug commercials you guys are talking about, but there is one that annoyed me. There is this fine girl (I think she starred in the movie "She's All That) who gets mad and smashes stuff up in her kitchen, then comments on how that's what drugs do to your life. Destroy it. I got the message but come on... doesn't breaking stuff in a violent manner send another message? Also, they should show some jacked-up chick if they want to affect the audience more, not one of the most beautiful young actresses in the world...
-_o
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By Craig Livingston on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 10:33 pm:

The VW synchronized music comercial annoys me now because they hacked it into a smaller comercial. When it first came out it was longer, the couple in the car sees more and more stuff moving in time with the music. Then a truck runs in front of the VW spashing water on the VW's windshield, an event which is TOTALLY OUT OF SYNCH with the music, prompting the guy to say, 'That was interesting.' Now they just see a couple of things IN SYNC and he says 'That was interesting.' I really hate it when they hack down clever comercials into smaller bites, cause they always ruin the cleverness of the comercial in the process.
I really wonder about car comercials anyway, like the one that shows a lighthouse but it turns out the be some truck at the top spining around with its headlights on. Sure, next time I need to build a lighthouse, I'll buy your truck (except that I can't remember what brand it is).
I can understand advertising laundry detergent and cheap things because people might just pick up Tide or whatever in the store without much thought so it pays to have your product subliminally lodged in the person's mind. But how many people impulse buy cars!? Everyone I know spends a few days carefully weighing the different options they have, talking with their friends who own different models, and test driving several cars before buying. Trying to make people subconsciously remember your car as being as dependable as a lighthouse or that your car makes everything in your life fall into sync doesn't seem like it would acomplish anything when car buying is such a deliberate, carefully reasoned decision.
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By Butch Brookshier on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 10:38 pm:

I tend to watch commercials with the sound muted & a while back I saw this commercial come on with this beautiful woman with wavy brown hair, green eyes,slim figure. I wondered what she was selling & when it got to the end it was "Preparation H"
EEEWWWW!
I also don't get the "Drop the Chalupa" ads.
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By ScottN on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 01:42 am:

How about (supermodel) Kim Alexis and her Hemorid commercials?

What's your opinion on the Chevron "People Do..." commercials... I do hate their talking cars, though...
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By Mike Ram on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 01:57 am:

I was flipping channels when I saw a commercial for the "E! True Hollywood Story" on Paul Reubens, AKA PeeWee Herman.
The announcing voice says something like, "Including...reinactments..." and shows a porno-movie theater. WHAT KIND OF REINACTMENTS ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?!?!?

Seriously, I was about to hurl when I saw this. Oh man, shouldn't someone have noticed this?!? Ugh...

About the "People Do" commercials: I know helping the environment is a good thing to do (And Gaia smiles at us when we do it), but don't Chevron's products ruin the same environment they show in the commercials? I could go on, but basically, this is some heavy irony.

Late -_o
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 05:14 am:

Technically speaking PBS doesn't show commercials, because the spots don't really sell anything.

The gopher cakes spot was, I believe, a Public Service Announcement about getting overweight. Gopher Cakes are not a real product and were not being advertised.

Also corporate sponsers of PBS and PBS shows do have spots that are run on PBS, but since it just deals with the company name and not the company product ;-) ;-) it is not a commercial. I remember seeing a spot featuring Ernie the Keebler Elf watching TV, presumably PBS ;-), and then a shot of the tree with the Keebler logo, but no mention of Keebler cookies.
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By anonymous on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 10:30 am:

How about Philip Morriss and their charitable causes?
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 03:39 pm:

The Kalerberg (fogot the spelling) beer comercials. One shows a mana with his wife in a hotel room, and they do "it" . Then suddenly the view shifts to a fridge witht he beer in it and they say 'Welcome to your carlsberg years' . So what exactly are they saying? If you drink their product then you will get great sex? Or people that have great sex invariably drink their beer? Actually most of their comercials are like , except most of them show people partying.

Or how about the one where people are shown in some southern beach and it sugests that dirnking that beverage will take you there! I can't remember the brand but's it's logo is "Change you latitude"
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By ScottN on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 04:17 pm:

Carlsberg beer.

Change your latitude is Corona.
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By MarkN on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 05:27 am:

I watch CNN before going to work and they always have a few Power for Living ads, with Reggie White, or Heather Featherstone, and someone else whose name I forget, all saying how much it's changed their lives and could change mine, too.
Yeah, right, sure. Yes, I can change the channel, mute it or turn the tv off, but I leave it on only so I don't miss the show when it returns.

Another stup¡d tv ad is a recent one, for KMart I think it is, with the mom and her little girl, about 2, talking about pooping!
And the girl tells everyone in the store about people pooping and she pooped in the toilet too! It's not really cute or offensive either, but just plain annoying. I don't remember the whole thing cuz I've only seen it few times, or if it's still running.
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By margie on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 08:33 am:

Her name is Heather Whitestone, not Featherstone. The third guy is one of the Yankees, I think it was Andy Pettite, but I'm not remembering too wel at the moment. Those commercials are so LONG! I flip channels & come back & they're still on!
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By ScottN on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 01:42 pm:

When I'm watching a show on cable (Comedy, SciFi or some other channel), there will occasionally be a commercial for the Playboy channel... you know the dumb one where every woman the guy meets turns into a Playboy bunny? REAL DUMB!
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By Dan R. on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 03:07 pm:

MarkN, thats actually Toys R Us, not Kmart because my mom (for some reason) thought it was cute....

ScottN.....uh huh...scifi channel...suuuurrrrrrreeeeee....j/k ;-)
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By ScottN on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 04:40 pm:

Ok, actually its on the preview channel when I'm waiting for the sci-fi channel to scroll into view...
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By Dan R. on Saturday, October 23, 1999 - 01:08 am:

ah ok, the prevue channel. Yeah I see them run their too.
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By MarkN on Saturday, October 23, 1999 - 06:28 am:

Thanks, Margie. I'd taped some shows while working and one was a CNN one and that ad was shown so I just fastforwarded thru it.

Thanks, too, DanR. It was kinda cute the first time but after that it wore out its cuteness. I wasn't terribly shocked by it but mildly surprised that they'd have a little kid actually say that in a tv ad. But hey, if Chicago Hope can say "s***" in primetime (and it was, by Mark Harmon's character), then why not have a little kid say "pooping" in a tv ad? I mean, what's the big diff, right?
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By Pseudonymouse on Sunday, October 24, 1999 - 08:18 pm:

Have you ever written to the producers of the ads? I did once, for an ad I liked for a local department store, and they wrote back a nice letter which didn't *seem* like a form letter.
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By MarkN on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 03:11 am:

How about infomercials? They're pretty awful, to say the very least. The instudio audiences are paid shills who applaud, oooh and aaah when prompted to, and has anyone noticed that the same woman appears on almost all of them? She's that 50ish grayhaired chick, like on Ron Popeil's infomercial for that steamer thingiemajig, that makes perfect steak and other foods everytime! Of course those things always work just fine on tv but get them home and maybe you'll get lucky. I'd never buy one, even if I had a family to warrant cooking so much for. At least some of them look good or decent, and not cheap, although anyone with half a brain knows they are, anyway. I'm glad that Mike Levy dude, who used to wear the sweaters on his 'mercials, is gone. Like 50 lawyers on the bottom of the ocean, it's a good start. Unfortunately, there have come many more to replace him, like those incredibly stup¡d psychic hotlines ads. Do they honestly believe people are gonna be stup¡d enough to fall for them? Well, ok, so yes, some are stup¡d enough to not only call, but hang on for several minutes or hours getting phony readings from the operators (I refuse to call them psychics), who are trained to ask leading questions and react to the responses by the willing victims.....er, callers.
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By Afix (Afix) on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 02:23 pm:

My personal worst diaper commercial was when they said "messy leak" at least six times during the course of one 30-second commercial, complete with the matching disgusted facial expressions of the moms. Guhh!
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By Dan R. on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 04:09 pm:

Ah dirty diaper commercials. THE worst ones I can think of. Any sorta health product is usually one of the worst commercials. What I hate is that blue stuff they use in the commercials. If you see some blue pee in your kids diaper I think you have a lot more to worry about than leaks!!! ;-)

One bad commercial out there is those Finese (SP?) commercials. You know...the girl wants to the guy to do something he doesn't want to do and she just flicks her hair and he instantly wants to do whatever! The one I see all the time (I think there are a few others too) is the one where they pull up to a pharmacy and she wants him to go in and buy tampons. He turns around (any guy hates to buy feminine products) embarassed and she just plays with her hair and the voiceover goes something like "its amazing what guys will do for the softness of Finese hair..." RIGHTTTTTTTTT.....like guys are gonna just go and buy tampons to touch HAIR (hey I'll buy them if I could touch something else....;-) Buutttt thats just me! ;-)). Then the commercial ends with "a girl could get used to this." UG! All i can say is p***y whipped (I censored it myself)!!!! I mean I'll do stuff for girls, yes, but the way the guy acted was like some pathetic, love, starved idiot! His actions just make the commercial stink! But...the girl makes it watchable...:-)
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By Afix on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 04:33 pm:

I thought about that once (using colored water to show absorbency). I suppose it's the same reason that auto-flush toilet bowl cleaners only come in blue or green. I realized that blue or green is about the only colors they could use for diapers or tampons. They really couldn't use yellow (too realistic and probably wouldn't show up well enough), or red (ewwww!!), or brown, or black. Purple would be OK, I guess.
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By Dan R. on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 06:56 pm:

well I guess it is better than seeing yellow colors....brown...well that means you have a problem with diareha! Red...then you REALLY gotta worry!!! ;-)
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By Mike Ram on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 11:11 pm:

Dan- I would only do it if the girl looked good and offered me up a great big piece of that p**ntang pie! Seriously, though, if my girlfriend asked me to do something like this I'd probably either take a deep breath and do it...or tell her that I feel uncomfortable and maybe she should go in the store too!

I just saw that 1-800-call-att commercial with David Arquette when he tries to get out of a bouncing low-rider. LOL! I thought this would be a bad commercial but it was pretty funny. Especially when he falls in the back seat.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 12:37 am:

The commercials that annoy me the ones where an attractive woman goes into a bathroom with herbal essences (If I remember correctly) shampoo and washes her hair and during it she is screaming in pleasure as if this shampoo in her hair is giving her well you know what I mean. These commercials are just plain annoying and embarrassing. One of them ends with "it's a sensual experience" . Maybe if they replaced the ns with x then her moans would be more believable.
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 01:40 am:

Pseudonymouse, I emailed to Cyberian Outpost (outpost.com) because I loved their over-the-top offensive ads (gotta post that on the faves board). They sent me back a thank you.

CBootnton, it's a "totally organic experience', not a sensual experience. That's a pun on orgas**c.
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 01:44 am:

I really dislike the Jerry Seinfeld AmericanExpress commercials... you know "the perfect pump" or "one-millionth shopper".
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By Spornan on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 03:37 am:

A couple of Annoying commercials:

Any car commercial for a "luxury SUV" almost every single one shows a silverish SUV with Classical, and then Rock music playing in the background. It's so annoying. ARGH!

Please shoot me if I ever spontaneously begin spouting my love for a 10-10 number. Why don't you use a freakin' quarter!?

Any infomercial with a hyper British guy. (What's with the brit's? Too much sugar?) Especially tge one with the red bowtie, and "Nancy" the50 isblonde haired woman in EVERY infomercial: The paint stick one, the dehydrator one, the vacuum sealer one, the OTHER vacuum sealer one, the food slicer one, the kitchen knife one, the George Forman one, etc etc etc (I'm an insomniac) Anyone ever see the parody of this on Mr. Show? "Sorry Nancy, Only british people can fly!)

I also hate those internet commercials (Cisco systems I think) where a bunch of kids from all over the world preach about how great the internet is, and how it'll change the world. "Are you ready!?"

I don't know if this is a local commercial or not, but it's been running for almost 10 years now I think. 1-800-LAWYERS.
Make a new commercial!

I also agree with the 7-up UN commercials. They are basically saying "Be an Individiual, CONFORM!" (BTW: Watch for an appearance by Wil Wheaton in one of these commercials)

Alrighty, I'm done ranting...for now.
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By MarkN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 07:18 am:

Well, I was gonna comment on the Herbal Essence ad but you scooped me, Chris! Now what am I gonna talk about here? I gotta keep track of tv ads so I can remember which ones to talk about. I'm always fast forwarding or pausing thru ads cuz I tape lots of shows.

Spornan, yes, the Brits eat too much sugar. Hell, just look at their teeth, for Pete's sake! (Who the heck is Pete, anyway, and why is it always for his sake? Well, his and christ's or god's?)

Come to think of it, if I ever saw a Brit in a toothpaste ad I'd make damned sure not to buy that brand, even if it's one I've always used, cuz then I'd switch to a new one. And nevermind all those tartar control toothpastes. They don't work any better than your average toothpaste and just cost more. Don't believe that they'll make your teeth pearly white cuz they won't. They don't tell you (like you couldn't guess for yourself) that if your teeth are even slightly colored the TC paste won't make them super white, like they want you to think it does. If your teeth are already pearly white then just keep using your regular toothpaste.

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Ron Popeil and "Nancy" are on tv right now! Quick! Somebody shoot me!!!
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By D.K. Henderson on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 07:59 am:

Ever notice, on those psychic hotline commercials, they keep reiterating that they're real, they're authentic, they're true--and then at the bottom of the screen in tiny tiny letters, you see: For Entertainment Purposes Only.

And speaking of the tiny tiny letters--on the current Jenny Craig commercial, you see three or four gorgeous, thin women, one after another, with the narrator saying "___ lost 35 pounds! ___lost 40 pounds! ___ lost 50 pounds! At the bottom of the screen for each picture, you see the words, "Results not typical." In other words, it is not NORMAL to lose a lot of weight on the Jenny Craig plan. They also say, real quiet and fast, that the price of the "current" program does not include the cost of food. My sister tried that plan once. You are ONLY allowed to eat the food they provide, and it costs an arm and a leg.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 10:51 am:

Pete's sake! (Who the heck is Pete, anyway, and why is it always for his sake? Well, his and christ's or god's?)

Pete is Saint Peter (He's the guy you always see at the gates of heaven when they recreate then for TV shows)

CBooton, it's a "totally organic experience', not a sensual experience. That's a pun on orgas**c.

Oop's my mistake. Now the question is which one is worse; the one I mistakingly though was it or the correct one.

Do airliners really bring shampoo along with them? How many people would wash their hair in an airplane restroom? Or in a gas station/mechanic one?
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 11:01 am:

I also agree about those Cisco systems comericals, they are annoying.

Also those comercials where they show the price of stuff and then the last one is always priceless are now annoying. The first one to use it was okay. (I cant remember the original anymore, because of all the wanabee ones).

That mars bar one witht he couple about to do "it" , and she says to hurry up and unwrap it and it's a mini mars bar, so he can have energy, that one was funny the first time but now it's annoying. It would be nice if for once in comercials that use sexcual imargry to portray their procduct that they could do it without making men look lazy and unable to preform properly and without making woman look so despersate or so whatever that even something as simple as shampoo turns them on to the point of screaming in pleasure.
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By KAM on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 11:12 am:

Spornan: Please shoot me if I ever spontaneously begin spouting my love for a 10-10 number. Why don't you use a freakin' quarter!?
Where do you live? It costs 35¢ to use a pay phone in Washington.

As for those dumb cheaper collect calls whenever someone like Sergeant Savings or whatever asks why they called collect instead of saving someone money, I usually say something like, "Because I don't like them!"
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 11:18 am:

I hate the cisco systems commercials too. I would love to see SNL or Mad TV do a spoof of it with what you REALLY find on the net! Ya know, XXX flashes on the screen, you hear about the cheapest dirtiest $luts, etc. LOL Cisco makes the internet sound like some magical mystical place where everyone shares ideas and lives in harmony....these people have obviously never been to the newsgroups!!!!!!!!! ;-)
I get tired of the 10 10 10 10 10 10 commercials too. AND the collect commercials. I never call collect. I always use a dime and a quarter and that will last me the whole call from a pay phone. I mean how many people use a pay phone for more than a few minutes??? You can barely hear the other person or you find....er..."things" other users have left behind....
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 11:50 am:

SNL did a great parody of the 10-10 commercials... It had about 40 numbers in it, and there was this whole spiel about how to remember it.
Unfortunately, I forgot most of it, anyone remember? It had Alec Baldwin in it.
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By Afix on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 01:49 pm:

I'd like to point out the most annoying new trend in commercials (the previous being the "somebody jumps in the air while the camera pans around making it look three-dimensional" trend, glorified by the Gap swing commercial). This one is another camera trick, shows (invariably) a car going at normal speed, then the film speed slows way down so you can get a good look at it, normal or fast speed resumes, slow, fast, etc, etc, etc.
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 03:17 pm:

Yeah, my local radio station had a spoof thats like that. A 10 10 number plus a whole bunch more after that. The station is hilarious. They had a couple about Ricky Martin that they couldn't play on the air (for obvious reasons if you hear the song!) to hear the 10 10 spoof go to http://98online.com/ and go to the twisted tunes section. Its worth it, IMO.

Ok another commercial I hate is Gas-X commercials. In one it shows a man and woman sitting in the car and the guy takes Gas X and is fine...the woman sits there, fat and bloated with about 10 different brands in her purse and can't decide what to take.
Like you are gonna carry that much medicine in your purse or car!
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 04:41 pm:

How about the Immodium commercials where the carpool has to stop every five minutes?

And, no, I've never had that "not so fresh" feeling!
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 04:43 pm:

Also, what advertising genius came up with the euphemism of "irregularity"? I guess that Madison Ave. decided we would be shocked, SHOCKED, by the word "constipation".

[ed. note: those of you with weak constitutions may now faint at the use of that last word...]
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 05:17 pm:

I think just about ANY health related product commercials are dumb. They portray the condition the person has as if it is THE worst thing that can happen to them!!! If constipation (more people faint) was the worst of my problems, I'd be darn happy.
So far the only good health type commercials are for the mothernature.com ones...you know, they have a blonde supermodel with a prob with her feet...so they give her a spray and she tries to put it in her mouth...excuse the male chavonistic pig in me...BUT....just like a supermodel to put something in her mouth instead of the right place if ya catch my meaning...wink wink, nudge nudge... ;-)
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 08:59 pm:

Regarding the 10-10 commercial parody here's what it mostly represents, according to saturday-night-live.com (not the official site):

Dial 1010-1776-5-28-1830-242-3-316-68-22 And Save!

The wierd thing is,I can remember the relation of each of those numbers. Out of pure memory power,let's see if I can do it.
1010-Um,because it's easy to remember. 1776-The signing of the declaration of independence. 5-28-1832-May 28th 1832,the confining of American Indians on reservations...yeah,that's it...242-Some other catastrophe,invovling the Chinese,in February 1942. 3-I have no idea. 316-68-I think this is a demonstrater riot on March 16th,1968,which is my birthday (Not 1968, but 3/16)! 22-Of course,the number of Moody Blues albums released...it was a funny sketch, too...

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 7:44 am:

By Mike Ram on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 10:18 pm:

Dan R., I think it's time for you to take a cold shower. -_o Or maybe not.

Saw some commercial where a cat is being interviewed about his "First Time." The cat says it was easy and fast. The interviewer remarks that that's not bad for a first date, and the cat replies that he was talking about his first time at Furniture.com. I REALLY don't get that one. I was like, "Wha?" What does that have to do with furniture?
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By norman on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 12:07 am:

ITT Tech. That young guy in the jacket probably needs to go to ITT Tech since he's wearing early 80's fashions. :P Talk about a commercial that should've been put out of its misery a long time ago.

Here in Tuscon, there's a horrible bad acting commercial of two young girls getting together at a 24 hour coffee shop.
Nothing merits bad acting as giving a flat, unfeeling, "I think I'll have a Cafe Mocha."
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By Spornan on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 12:15 am:

KAM, I live in NY, 25 cents for a pay phone call.

Anyone ever see 101-6868 commercial? First time I saw it, I thought it was a goof! Two cops, are baffled why someone wouldn't use 101-6868 for all long distance calls "It's only 7.9 cents a minute!" Yeesh.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 03:19 am:

General Foods International Coffees -- "Jean Luc!"
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By MarkN on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 06:53 am:

Going back to the diaper ads for a minute. How about those godawful adult ones? I realize there's a need for those, but who really wants to do them? Other than some old Hollywood has-beens, or no-name elderly folks, that is. I think those ads are very idiotic, to say the least.

And then there's that wonderful tagline: "Because you've got a lot of living to do!" Yeah, right, like if you don't wear their particular brand your life's over or something even worse. What an awful message to send senior citizens. Egad!

BTW, the ads seem to mostly target senior citizens, but there are younger adults who need them, too, not that the ads give that impression, though.
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By Dan R. on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 12:56 am:

Bringing up the bet of guys buying tampons again..I found this hilarious song about it here:
http://www.jokeaday.com/tampons.ram Its by Bob Rivers and it is HILARIOUS. it starts out like We Will Rock you and then goes on like we are the champions (both by queen)
"Wanna be a man? Be a good man, go on in the store gotta buy a big box, ok. You try hidin' your face, you feel disgraced, they're waving the tampax all over the place."

Come on! All together now:
"They will, they will laugh at you.
The clerk will probably snicker too..."

LOL it is just so hilarious! ;-)
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By Anonymous on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 02:22 am:

Some comic pointed out that guys should be proud to go into a store and buy tampons. It's like going in there and shouting "I GOT A WOMAN!!!!"
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By MarkN on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 08:18 am:

Yeah, and then everyone else will look at you and say, "Yeah, and she's got you 'whipped pretty good, too!"

Did anyone see the new TV GUIDE with the Pokemon covers? They give that Toys 'R Us ad with the little girl talking about pooping a Jeer, and rightfully so.

Here's a 1970's ad that I never liked: "Excuse me, but can I talk to you about...... diarhhea?" Johnny Carson did a parody of that and right after he said that he got several pies in the face. For those who don't know, he used to do commercial parodies in the 70's where he'd always get a pie in the face. Check out the Carson Comedy Classics videotapes or if they're played on tv in your area.

At my work they play a radio, usually an oldies station that plays the same junk everyday, and whenever Marvin Gaye's "I Heard it Through the Grapevine" comes on I think of the dancing raisins.
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By Afix on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 11:22 am:

How about those allergy medication ads that always end with something like "A small number of people reported certain side effects, including dry mouth, headache, dizziness, fatigue, foot swelling, stomach cramps, constipation, open sores..." (you get the idea). Geez! Why take the stuff at all?

Or the Propecia hair-regrowth ads that say broken tablets should not be handled by pregnant women. Yikes, if something's that dangerous I'm not sure I'd want to take it!
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By Meg on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 04:45 pm:

7 words. "I've fallen and I can't get up."
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By MarkN on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:20 am:

How about that sinus one, whose brand name escapes me at the moment, with all these people walking around with just giant noses instead of their heads to signify having stuffy noses? Then, when they take the sinus stuff the giant noses shrink back down to normal heads. There's the tv show-within-a-tv-ad with the "guest" having his nose become his head again on "tv" and the "host" says, "You look better," and the "guest" says, "I feel better!" Or something like that. Still, it's a ridiculous ad.
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By KAM on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 08:16 am:

Was Meg complaining about a commercial or was that actually a cry for help? ;-) ;-)
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By MarkN on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 06:19 am:

That was an Afrin commercial I was talking about. I just saw one of their ads.

Although the little girl, Hallie Eisenberg, in those Pepsi ads is cute, the ads are pretty ridiculous. I mean, the latest one has her riding on the handlebars of her granddad's bike in the middle of a car race, and they win! There's another ad where some geeky dude is driving an old 1970's in a car race and it breaks down or something. I saw it only once and forget what it was for.

KAM, I've no idea. Meg, which was it, so KAM can rest his mind? haha!
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By Hodge on Wednesday, November 3, 1999 - 12:22 pm:

Okay, my turn to vent all over the place regarding the highly ridiculous and overly irritating commercials I've had to hear.
(takes deep breath...)
Where I work, we have a radio on 24/7. Which is fine. No problem. The staff has our usual fights over who gets to listen to what type of music. No problem. I, however, choose to listen to the late night radio talk shows. The particular station I like to listen to has absolutely NO understanding of what overplay is. For SIX MONTHS STRAIGHT (no lie). I had to listen to this elderly lady named Rosemarie tell me repeatedly how she wore some wonderful rubber undergarment that reduced the bulkiness of her 'Depends' (or whatever), and she was so happy that she could go out in public and hold her head up proudly, and no one would know about her embarassing problem - except all the listeners. This struck me as highly ironic and redundant. My next target in the category of highly bizarre has to do with a half hour long radio infomercial regarding some wonderful (?) all-natural substance that sweeps out your bowels. That's fine...whatever makes you happy. But the one part of this whole thing that I could never understand went something like "Did you know that every adult has XX (I can't remember the number anymore - thank God) pounds of undigested fecal matter in their lower intestine?". This statement in itself is pretty disgusting, but believe it or not, they found a way to make it sound MORE revolting. As this line is being spoken, the announcer sounds so fershlugginer happy and ecstatic, like EVERYONE should be so happy to know this little fact of biology.
I can only say that I really didn't need to know that in that way.
Thank you. I feel much better.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, November 3, 1999 - 02:02 pm:

KAM, I guess it was a cry for help from Meg since we haven't heard from her since :-)
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By KAM on Wednesday, November 3, 1999 - 02:22 pm:

So how long until we hold a memorial service for our fallen comrade Meg?
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By ScottN on Wednesday, November 3, 1999 - 02:32 pm:

Maybe we should send her a LifeAlertTM. Wasn't that the product?
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Wednesday, November 3, 1999 - 02:35 pm:

I was walking towards the door when al of the sudden I tripped on the rug. BANG. I coulden't get up! So I pressed my life sign and said "I've fallen and I can't get up!" 5 minutes later I was saved.

Or however it goes. It's something like that.

The mountain dew comercial's are very confusing. They are confusing in that what are they trying to say exactly? That drinking mountain dew os only for Dare devils? Or drinking it drives you into doing insane stunts? Or what?

What about the comercials form the electric toothbrush where they show the plac go shooting off the persons teeth and then the person licks their teeth.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 05:34 pm:

How about the comercials where they show a guy get into a car and do insane stunts with it, then they say at the bottom of the screen "Dramitization. Professional stunt driver on closed road. do not attempt". So if you're not supossed to drive like that with the car then why even show people doing it? Are they trying to say that the car is capable of this if it needs to be? But if you're not supossed to attempt this then why even show that you can?

Think of it this way, if you saw a comercial for a new PC and it showed all sorts of great things you could do with it and how fast you could do them, but then at the bottom said "Dramitization. Do not attempt" then whould you really want to buy it?"

Speaking of computer ones, one from a few years back shows a kid using he home pc. Now this kid can't be older then 8 or 9 and yet he is apparently home alone which is bad enough. But they show him faxing out to several people, then his mother calls and with the touch of a single mouse button he answers the call on the PC with no problem. Yea right! Now there's a comercial that really needed the "dramatization, doesen't actually work in real life" message at the bottom.
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By Lea Frost on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 11:30 pm:

Ooh, a place to rant about annoying commercials! Why didn't I notice this earlier?

Anyway, the ones I really hate are those Miller High Life commercials with the obnoxious guy talking in voiceover. There are a whole bunch of them -- in one of them he's talking about how his window gets broken by baseballs and footballs, and that's OK with him, but there's going to be hell to pay if he ever sees any soccer balls.

And dial-a-psychic commercials, especially the one they show without fail during every single commercial break on the Sci-Fi Channel. Have you ever noticed how all of the callers sound alike?

And then there are those Holiday Inn commercials with that guy who lives with his parents, and the obnoxious old lady who cackles like an asthmatic jackdaw...

Oh, and the Viagra ads with Bob Dole. That is not an image I ever wanted in my head, ever.

As for feminine hygiene commercials -- it's rather amusing when they come on, actually, if only because of the reactions they get from every single guy who happens to be in the room! (At least in my experience.)
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By ScottN on Saturday, November 6, 1999 - 03:34 am:

There's a radio ad for a stock brokerage (we'll call it KW) on the air in LA.

Note, in all cases, the emphasis is mine.

Part I: A guy is trying to connect to the net. Complains to his wife that the net is busy and he can't trade his stocks. She says that she talked to her financial advisor at KW. He handles all her financial transactions.

Part II: Same guy calls his wife from work, and wants to know if she needs him to do any banking for her. Nope, she called her financial advisor at KW, he handles all her transactions.

My problem? These people are married (strongly implied by II and by the dialog "Hi honey..."). Why doesn't he know about her advisor over at KW, and why does he only handle her transactions and not his?

Duh!
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By KAM on Saturday, November 6, 1999 - 10:25 am:

Lea: You never noticed this section before because it's down here in the basement, under the comic books. ;-)

ScottN: Obviously she's planning on dumping her loser of a husband and wants to be certain that her money is safely protected.
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By MarkN on Sunday, November 7, 1999 - 02:50 am:

How about that Special K ad with that hot blonde in the red/white striped two-piece swimsuit, looking at herself in the mirror, admiring her body (as, I have to admit, was I--c'mon, you guys were too!), like some cereal gives anyone a great body.

Tv ads are so incredibly misleading, like the aforementioned Herbal Essence ad with the woman in the airplane bathroom washing her hair. Why do it there? Why not at home? Was she running late that day or what? What was in her particular bottle that made her sound as if she was having orgasms, and why isn't it in my bottle of it? Ok, I actually use Suave, cuz I don't use expensive shampoo, I just look like it!
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By The male demographic, 18 to dead on Sunday, November 7, 1999 - 01:54 pm:

I thought she was a brunette. Of course, I wasn't looking at her hair... :-)
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By Not ScottN, but I play him on Nitcentral on Sunday, November 7, 1999 - 01:55 pm:

How about painkiller ads...

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV". So we should listen to him because of his wonderful medical experience?
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By Dan R. on Sunday, November 7, 1999 - 02:34 pm:

Hair? she haid hair? let alone a head? Hmm....I guess I wasn't looking up in that direction...wink wink...
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By The male demographic, 18 to dead on Monday, November 8, 1999 - 11:10 am:

Oh wait! I was thinking of a different commercial. She had SHORT blond hair...
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By Afix on Monday, November 8, 1999 - 01:14 pm:

New worst commercial for some fat loss prescription pill. The possible side effects mentioned at the end of the ad are far too graphic to even list here. Suffice it to say I was eating dinner the first time I saw (heard) it, and my increasingly disgusted reaction (as the list went on and on) was "Ugh! Gugh! AAUGH!"
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By margie on Monday, November 8, 1999 - 02:20 pm:

Oh, I think I heard that one. Thre reason you lose weight? You can't keep any food inside you long enough to digest it! I'm waiting to see some drug with side effects stating, "Some people have died using this product, others are in a coma, and the rest are bald. So consult your doctor before using this dandruff medicine."

Why do they always air the disgusting commercials during meal times?!?!?!?!
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By ScottN, Future Ex-Employee on Monday, November 8, 1999 - 02:24 pm:

How about those Alaska Airlines commercial with the kid and the lemonade stand?
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By MarkN on Tuesday, November 9, 1999 - 07:24 am:

I just saw two Alta Vista ads last night. One, the lesser idiotic of the two, had a chess champ going around a group of tables playing each person one at a time, till he comes to a black kid, thinks about his move, takes a chair to sit down and then I forget what the end is but I think the voiceover guy says the kid's name was Gary Kasparov something or whatever it was.

The second one was on a few seconds later, with a dude standing at a urinal, his back to the cam (thank goodness!), but you can hear the tinkling sound, and he's talking on his cell phone and he drops it in the bottom of the urinal, looks down at it and instead of picking it up and cleaning it off he flushes! I guess at that point it's just as well cuz the phone would be pretty much shot, anyway, wouldn't it?

This is just the latest in the new grossout "bodily functions" trend in tv ads.
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By MarkN on Tuesday, November 9, 1999 - 07:31 am:

I just now saw a new Summer's Eve ad for lubricating jelly. Hmm, maybe it's really for a KY jelly substitute instead? Oh, well. Don't know, don't really care since I'm of the wrong gender for the product anyways.
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By ScottN on Tuesday, November 9, 1999 - 11:16 am:

MarkN, the guy playing the simultaneous match was supposed to be Kasparov, not the kid.
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By Mark Morgan on Tuesday, November 9, 1999 - 03:51 pm:

MarkN, the stupidest part of that chess commercial is how Altavista blew a great ad opportunity. I went to Altawista and typed in the ad's query ("How do I beat Kasparov's Evans Gambit?"), expecting to actually find the answer. Instead, I found ads for some of Kasparov's computer chess games. They should have had a separate page, on Altavista, discussing the answer and mentioning the ad. Missed opportunity. But I'm not gonna tell them, nope.
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By Anonymous on Tuesday, November 9, 1999 - 09:14 pm:

Actually I think THAT was the point! Go to the site, buy the game, they get some money.
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By Mark Morgan on Wednesday, November 10, 1999 - 01:46 am:

I wasn't clear. The links I found were your standard collection of related and unrelated links. The time I searched it, some of the first few links were useless junk.

Altavista is using technology initially developed over at Ask Jeeves, which combines a natural language query engine with a database of pre-generated answers. For this query, they didn't have any pre-generated answers, and they should have. The question was in the ad!

The links were your typical hit and miss of regular search engines. Totally ruined the point of advertising the language engine.
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By MarkN on Wednesday, November 10, 1999 - 08:50 am:

Thanks, MarkM. I wasn't sure which was Kasparov, though I know he's white but I thought maybe the kid was named after him or something. I'd seen it only that one time.
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By ScottN, owner of the CapitalN trademark on Wednesday, November 10, 1999 - 12:17 pm:

You're Welcome, MarkN. Not only are you stealing my trademarked CapitalN^TM, but now you're giving my credits to MarkM [grin]! ARGH!
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By KAM on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 04:34 am:

ScottN, MarkN. Am I going to have to start calling myself Keith AlaN MorgaN?
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By MarkN on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 07:15 am:

Oops! Sorry, ScottN. I guess I deserve 50 lashes with a wet noodle for that, but that's ok. I'm tough. I can take it. Ready when you are. Lash away.
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By ScottN's Lawyer on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 01:26 pm:

The Respondent, MarkN, also known as The Party of the First Part (hereafter referred to as The Respondent, MarkN, also known as The Party of the First Part) agrees to get 50 lashes with a wet noodle from a Third Party to be named by the Plaintiff, ScottN, also known as the Party of the Second Part (hereafter referred to as the Plaintiff, ScottN, also known as the Party of the Second Part). Whereat, the Plaintiff, ScottN, also known as the Party of the Second Part, will cease his ARGH!'ing at The Respondent, MarkN, also known as The Party of the First Part.
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By LOL on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 04:49 pm:

Sounds like D. Stuart's spirit has posesed ScottN. I did not understand a single word you said Scott
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By ScottN on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 04:57 pm:

I'm sorry. I have fired my lawyer for incompetence. Basically he said (in legalese - why doesn't the UT work on legalese?) that MarkN agreed to 50 lashes from a wet noodle from a person of my choosing...

MarkN, give yourself the lashes...
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By MarkN on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 06:38 am:

What? Aren't you able to give them yourself, ScottN? That's what I meant, that you'd give me the lashes, not someone of your choosing. However, rest assured I've given myself the aforementioned 50 lashes, so consider me punished and humbled.

Now, on with the nitpicking before we start getting blasted for wasting good space. Although I'm sure we will anyway but oh, well. :^)
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By ScottN on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 10:49 am:

What? Aren't you able to give them yourself, ScottN?

Sorry, you're not my type! :-P

Back to the worst commercials...

How about any commercial where people continually use the name of the product (yes, I know you need to do that in an ad, but it's not realistic) instead of referring to "it" after the first time. Example:

[Simulated real ad]
He: You know, honey, I have a headache.
She: Why don't you use Dr. Fred's Headache Pills?
He: Dr. Fred's Headache Pills?
She: Yes, Dr. Fred's Headache Pills are all natural.
He: OK, I'll try Dr. Fred's Headache Pills!

[Simulated more realistic conversation]
He: You know, honey, I have a headache.
She: Why don't you use Dr. Fred's Headache Pills?
He: What are those?
She: They're all natural.
He: OK, I'll try them!

See the difference? I mean, these commercials strain the dialog to make sure the product is mentioned as many times as possible. Yes, I know that's a rule of advertising, but it makes them sound really stoopid.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 09:57 pm:

The comercials I hate are the ones for scratch and win (more like scratch and lose!) lotteries. I mean they always show the person winning the jackpot everytime. I know they can't show the person loosing, but maybe if they showed a few playing playing it and one of the wins and a few others one of them wins, and so on until the one that wins wins a big score then it would be a little more realisitc.

What about that comerical where the lady is on the computer and has her cat with her, and she leaves to get coffie and the cat gets on the table and plays witht he mouse and ends up ordering tons of stuff, the idea being the software is that easy to use, but I find the comerical anoying as it just sin't possible (ie that all those guys show up that fast and no one else does anything about the cat ordering stuff, or how someone would bring her cat to the office in the first place). it's funny the first time but it's implauability makes it annoying after that.
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By Dan R. on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 01:04 am:

The comercials I hate are the ones for scratch and win (more like scratch and lose!) lotteries. I mean they always show the person winning the jackpot everytime. I know they can't show the person loosing, but maybe if they showed a few playing playing it and one of the wins and a few others one of them wins, and so on until the one that wins wins a big score then it would be a little more realisitc.

Actually Chris, the Maryland Lottery has done that. They show real people scratching their tickets...I don't remember if any lose but they show people winning the smaller amounts...They aren't boasting the huge $20,000 payoffs, etc. They just show people winning $100, 50, and even simply 2 bucks! The maryland lottery actually showed that you probably won't hit the big one, but there is still a good chance of hitting 2 bucks (therefore getting the money back that you payed for it) and even 20 bucks.
I like the MD lotto for doing that. They aren't trying to say everyone will win big, nor are they saying everyone will win. Its odd for a company to so truthfully advertise. Usually commercials, exaggerate or show the rare instances (like hitting it big) but the MD lotto shows that not everyone wins big.
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By MarkN on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 06:08 am:

LOL! Well, ScottN, once again you've misunderstood me, but that's ok. I guess I should've been more clear. Another 50 lashes for me I suppose. And you're not my type, either, since you've got the wrong equipment.

California has lottery ads and they, too, are just atrociously annoying! One showed a woman's hands forming a square, like a painter, as she's looking at a nice countryside where she wants to build her new home. Another had a group of workers from wherever who played it collectively and they all won, natch. One of the more recent ones had a short, chubby (or so it appears) curlyhaired woman sitting in her boss's office, facing him, telling him in sarcastic tones but with a big smile where the coffee and filters and such are and that she, "...can't tell you what a pleasure it's been working for you. Really, I can't," giggling the whole time almost like a maniac. Like, chick, just don't show up for work anymore or something, ok? I mean, if you work for a lousy boss and win the lottery then don't bother putting in a 2-week notice. Just leave!
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 04:54 pm:

About the lottery adds, strangly it's the national/state/provincial, pick x of y numbers, if you get them all you win millions that tend to be the least annoying. The loto 649 ones (Canada) usually show someone who won and what they are buying (or are going to buy). The NY loto (ones I see from american stations) tend to do simular stuff with the saying "Hey ya never know!" (649 says "Just imagine the freedom") , what's good about them is that they don't say you wll win but do say "but hey it's possible and just imagine how sweet it would be if you did"
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By MarkN on Sunday, November 14, 1999 - 08:06 am:

Yeah, but it's done in a way that gets people thinking that they just might be the lucky one and win that week, and so they're encouraged to go out and buy tickets. California's is done twice a week. I don't know how many others are like that. Play here and you've only got a one in 18 million+ chance of winning, so of course everyone's a winner.
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By MarkN on Thursday, November 18, 1999 - 08:16 am:

How about that Oldsmobile Bravada ad with the three people in three different colored Bravadas that just happen to stop together at a stoplight, and singing or lipsynching to a Sheryl Crow song? Yeah, like that would ever gonna happen!
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By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Thursday, November 18, 1999 - 10:57 am:

Another thing that bothers me about that ad is they point out the fact that the car has a 6 disk cd changer and all 3 cars are playing the same song.
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By Lea Frost on Thursday, November 18, 1999 - 01:41 pm:

I can't stand the Converse ad with the helium-voiced guy. I mean, who wants to listen to that?
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By Mark Bowman on Thursday, November 18, 1999 - 07:23 pm:

Any ad that shows something disgusting, or uses sound effects that makes people queasy, and is aired when most people are eating dinner, is bad (I've seen quite a few of them).

This dosne't rally have anything to do with tv commercials, but i've noticed banner ads where a sprite moves rapidly back and forth is becomming more and more popular (usualy they have a caption that says something like "punch the coin and win 20$"). I sometimes use NetZero, which is a free internet provider, that is paid for by a banner ad that stays on the screen, and these kinds of ads are not only annoying to look at, but completly distract me from what I am doing. Not to mention it can trigger seizures. I am not epileptic, but they still sometimes make me feel a bit nauseous.
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By MarkN on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 05:26 am:

OH NO!!! Not another Mark! Please, no more! Two's enough! Oh, well, at least you've got a different last initial. Anyway, welcome to the club.

There seems to be sort of a bit of a nit on the Bravada ad when they show the CD changer and the hand that's closing it seems to have to struggle almost, like the cover was stuck for a second.
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By Spornan-The rantin' man on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 06:26 am:

Anyone see these CocaCola commercials with the young woman pouring herself some coke, then getting some bubbles up her nose, and then drinking it? First off, it's just annoying to watch this girl who is so amazingly giddy about having some cola, it makes you wonder why it's called coke.

Secondly, my sister tells me there are two versions of this commercial, one with a white woman, and one with a black woman. This is something that really annoys me about commercials, the need to someone be racially "fair". More about that in a minute.

The really sick part about it though, is that my sister tells me that during a shot of the white woman picking up the glass, or holding it or something, it's really a shot of the black womans hands! They were too cheap to shoot it both ways!

No onto the need to have racial diversity in commercials. You'll notice in almost every kids ceral commercial (such as trix or lucky charms) that there is almost always the EXACT same mix. The same holds true for many board game commercials

One white Male
One White Female
One Black female
One Black Male (only in the cereal commercials)
One Asian Male or Female (never both)

It's kinda scary. I mean, hurray for racial diversity and all, but it's just another cop out as far as I'm concerned, and seems too forced to be good.

Also, will someone please explain to me what is wrong with the people making these PBA's? Especially anti-smoking ones.
There' so idiotic!

"Tabbaco is whacko, if you're a teen."
This one is sponsored by Tabacco companies, because they are trying to show they don't REALLY want teens to smoke. They never show why it's bad for you health wise, but instead point out that you'll spend your money on it instead. It also seems to say that once you're 20, you should smoke your life away.

Another thing I don't like about PBA's is how they tell you to Just say No and whatnot. There's this one commercial where a girl talks about how her mom told her to just say "No thanks" or "Get outta my face!"

"Get outta my face"???? You trying to get killed? People have offered cigs to me before, and I never insulted them for it. I just said "don't smoke" whoopdie doo. I've never had anyone push me to smoke, and insulting someone who would be forcing me hardly seems a good idea.

It's also pretty funny how all PBA's air from about 3 AM to 7 AM, when almost no one is watching TV. This is because the government says you must have X amount of PBA's on your channel per Year (something like that) and the networks would never want to waste valuable advertising time with a public service announcement. The only PBA's you'll ever see would be "The more you know" on NBC, because it makes them look good, they get to promote their stars, and it's about 10 seconds long. It's more of a "Look how wonderful this network is" then an actualy service.

I guess that's enough of that rant. Hope I didn't sound racist up there, but that kinda stuff really gets me mad. When advertisers use a ploy of sensitivity or a pretense of caring for our well being. Bah!
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By margie on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 08:49 am:

Have you ever noticed that, in commercials where children are playing a game, that a boy almost always wins?! I first noticed this a few years ago, and it's still true today. As a female, I'm insulted!
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By KAM on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 09:54 am:

Spornan, I believe you mean a PSA, a PBA is probably the Professional Bowling Association.

I like the spoof PSA's that Conan O'Brian does.

I believe the Coke commercial you're talking about is discussed on the Current commercials page.

Another Mark? This is getting to be almost as bad as the Frank Conspiracy. (Didn't you use to post under a different name MarkN?)
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By Dan R. on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 03:58 pm:

Yes I noticed that coke commercial too. LOL I loved the comment about "why they call it coke!" ;-)

As for the cereal commercials, with one white kid, then an asian, then a black kid, etc. That is not so forced. My gang of friends consists of 3 white guys, 2 asian and one black. A nice little mix.

As for the PSA cig commercials. I think they are dumb. The ones I see Phillip Morris doing is the ones where a guy is hitting a pack of cigs and the girl sees her as a monkey, or the guy sees the girl as a fish face for smoking. It is so $tupid. They go for the surface reasons of why people shouldn't smoke. Like "oh it smells bad!" or whatever. Puhlease! I smell far worse things everyday than cig smoke!
And that attitude about telling your kids not to smoke "tell them to get outta your face" is bone headed. The most likely person offering a kid a smoke is their friends. With the price of cigs (in my area at least) there is NO ONE handing out even a single smoke unless they are friends. I offer my friends one, whenever we hang out and if they don't want it I imitate how the government thinks it happens..you know "Come on man! Don't you want to be cool like us???" ROFL Like anyone really says that. If my friends dont want one, then I don't care.
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By Spornan on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 04:10 pm:

Yeah, PSA's. Oops. Wrote that real early in the morning, very sleepy and out of it. At the time I thought "I hope people know what PBA's are" and now I can't remember what the heck I thought it stood for. I must be drinking too much "Coke"
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By Pepsi-Cola on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 07:55 pm:

Just say no!
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 10:48 pm:

Have you ever noticed that, in commercials where children are playing a game, that a boy almost always wins?! I first noticed this a few years ago, and it's still true today. As a female, I'm insulted!

Actually I have noticed that often the Girl wins, and as a male I find this insulting. I guess it's a point of view thing. Perhaps we need some actual numbers to see in relaity what % of themshow girl winning and what % show boy winning?
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By MarkN on Saturday, November 20, 1999 - 06:31 am:

Didn't you use to post under a different name MarkN?

Yes, KAM, as Rodnberry.

I think my life is a Frank Conspiracy! My late dad was Frank, my brother is Frank, my mom's only brother's middle name is Franklin (believe it or not his first is Benjamin), bro-in-law's middle name is Frank, which is his dad's first name, my car insurance agent is Frank and my former landlord was Frank.

Phillip Morris has a new ad out. At the moment I forget just what it is but it's trying to make them come across as caring for everyone's health or something. The irony of course is that this comes from a major tobacco manufacturer! With some exceptions, the collective US population isn't totally stup¡d enough to believe such claptrap, especially from a company that makes products that are so far from healthy and who likes to believe that we're stup¡d. What delusional morons they are. "I don't believe cigarettes are addictive." Buh-loney! Can you say "denial?"
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By MarkN on Saturday, November 20, 1999 - 07:00 am:

Here's an ad I just saw. It's for KB toystores (what happened to Kay Bee?), touting themselves as the "toystores favored by families for generations", with a cute little tyke running around a store, and it's shot from his level looking up to give it his POV that it's a huge store, and to kids that small anything's huge. It says that's inspired their new website where they can shop online. No. They were inspired by profit, cuz that's the purpose of shopping (or any business, natch), pure and simple, and aiming it at kids (who are a total annoyance to their parents when it comes to shopping anyway, which the companies want and take major advantage of) is wrong. But it works, and damned well, too.

How about Chris Lloyd's 10-10 ads where he's a professor who just discovered a new way to get cheaper long distance? Like it's a major discovery no one already knew about! How stup¡d do these ad makers think we, the viewing public, are? Why do they keep insulting our intelligence? There are supposed to be truth in adverstising laws here, but of course no one follows them, or hardly does, at least, and even then it's a very minor point in ads.
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By ScottN on Sunday, November 21, 1999 - 01:16 am:

Phillip Morris has a new ad out.

I believe it's called "Watch Star Trek:Voyager episode 'One Small Step'". j/k.
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By KAM on Sunday, November 21, 1999 - 06:46 am:

Well, the inside of the Kitchen Sink Anomoly did look like a Smoking Lounge. ;-)

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 7:02 am:

Comments originally posted on the original Favorite commercials board

By MarkN on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 05:30 am:

Although I hate tv ads, one of my faves from way back is the old "I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke" one. Call me nostalgic.
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By ScottN on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 11:09 am:

Actually, I kind of like a couple that I really shouldn't...

I like the old AMD K-6 ad where the tanker is about to explode on the really nasty ad exec...

And of course, the "Welcome to the Afterlife" "Got Milk?" ad.

Here's a couple other blasts from the past that I liked...

"I can't believe I ate the WHOLE thing!" and "Plop Plop Fizz Fizz".

Some older ads, which I cannot recall at the moment, were absolutely brilliant (but the fact that I can't recall them kind of contradicts that, doesn't it?).

MarkN, that's not a bad commercial. Sounds like you could hang out with the rest of us oldsters over on "Ready For the Retirement Home" over on the StarWars Jedi's Sink board.
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By margie on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 03:46 pm:

"Where's the beef?" Wendy's ad always made me laugh. My eighth grade class kind of claimed it as our motto. The teacher would ask, "Any questions?" & someone was sure to reply, "Where's the beef?"

The Budweiser lizards are pretty funny too
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By ScottN on Saturday, October 16, 1999 - 02:55 am:

"Tastes Great!" "Less Filling" "TASTES GREAT!" "LESS FILLING!"

And, really dating myself here...

Bubba Smith: "It says here, the winner is... Bubba Smith"
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By ScottN on Saturday, October 16, 1999 - 02:56 am:

And one of my favorites is actually not a commercial, but a billboard I saw:

Altoids. Luckily NOT available in extra strength.

Any Altoid fans will know what that means.
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By Mike Ram on Sunday, October 17, 1999 - 08:51 pm:

Yep!
The Wipeout 3 commercial is awesome! It really makes you want to buy the game.
And the Spin City commercial where they announced they were changing times was priceless. The group sits in the DeLorean From Back To The Future and Michael J. Fox says some of his great old signature lines before engaging, including...
"The flux capacitor is..uh...fluxing?"
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By ScottN on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 02:33 am:

Actually, I kind of liked those old "fahrvergnugen" (sp?) VW commercials...

Especially the one where the change the Beach Boys "GTO" into "GTI" and sing it in German.
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By Dan R. on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 03:45 am:

Cool! They did that for Spin City? I never saw that commercial! Dang! Is it anywhere on the net where I could see it?
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 12:35 pm:

I love the iMac and new Volkswagen Bug commercials. In fact, it seems to me that the style of them is basically the same. Apple and Volkswagen need to make some sort of deal. Buy a green Volkswagen, get a couple hundred dollars off on a green iMac. Buy a green iMac, getsome sort of deal for a green Volkswagen. And so on, and so on, and so forth.
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By ScottN on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 12:49 pm:

The G4 tank commercial is pretty good.

[begin off topic digression]
Basically (if I understand it properly) the rationale is the G4 is considered a supercomputer under ITAR, and is therefore considered to be a munition. Until a couple of years ago, any encryption stronger than 40 bits was also considered a munition, and fell under ITAR.
[end off topic digression]
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 06:34 am:

"IIIIII Haaaaaaaaate Quaaaaaaaaantas." ;-)

Also the Paul hogan Quantas commercials.

(I actually do imitations of the Quantas Koala & the Quantas Paul Hogan, but they sound terrible when I type them.)

There was also a series of commercials featuring a monk who had to produce copies of fancy calligraphy so he goes to his friends at Xerox.

The only two Got Milk ads I like are the afterlife one and the Trix Rabbit one. I love the maniacal look on the rabbit's face.

I hated the Budweiser frogs, but loved the lizards. The Budweiser weasel seems to be a mistake, though. My favorite lizard spot was from the radio. They're talking about a barbecue and Louie mentions throwing the frogs on the grill. "They taste like chicken. Ugly chicken."

The commercial where the guy is in a colored containment suit and smoke is coming off him and the announcer apologizes for Apple's G3 chip burning the Pentium chip.

Years ago they had a video show called Bombshelter Videos and they would show cheaply made music videos from local bands and such. However, I found myself going into the kitchen or the bathroom during the videos and rushing out for the commercials.
Because it was a music video show the advertisers tried to make their commercials look like music videos and did a much better job than the musicians did. I don't think those commercials ever appeared on other shows.
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By MarkN on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 07:44 am:

MarkN, that's not a bad commercial.

Actually, Scott, I meant that I liked that old Coke ad (I've really gotta be careful how I phrase things sometimes!). I was even happy when they brought it back a few years ago with some of the original actors and their kids singing an updated version of it at the same time.

I remember the old pollution ad with the crying Indian, who really wasn't an Indian at all, it was later revealed! I think he was called Iron Eyes Cody, or something like that.

There was the old anti-smoking one with the father going around with his son, and they're driving in the family hardtop, and dear old dad has a pack of cigarettes on the front seat, takes one out, lights up, puts the pack back on the seat, and then little Junior picks it up and looks at it. I forget what the voiceover guy said, but even as a little kid it was a powerful commercial for me.

What's worse than that is remembering almost word for word the Jack In The Box commercial with Rodney Allen Rippey! Is that pathetic or what? (Oh, god! I DO belong in the old farts home, don't I?)

Does anyone remember the old Apple tv ad that was a takeoff of Orwell's 1984? Gee, I wonder when the commercial came out?
Hmmm......could it have been, oh, I dunno......1984? It's recently been shown on tv again or in TV GUIDE as one of the favorite tv commercials of all time. I recall seeing it once, but then it was only shown once, during the Super Bowl.

I must say that one of my fave print ads is the "Got Milk" one with Yasmeen Bleeth in that white one-piece swimsuit. She's never looked better! I don't remember if she had the milk mustache in it like all the others, but so what? She still looks great.
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 11:31 am:

MarkN,

I know. I was agreeing with you about the Coke commercial! Also, Iron Eyes Cody was a real Native American. The anti-smoking voiceover said, "Like father, like son?"

Do you mean "Rotney" Allen Rippey?

There's a "Got Milk" billboard, showing the Cookie Monster sitting on a pile of cookies, but looking sad because he doesn't have milk.

KAM,

The Xerox monk was fun.

Hey, how about some of those Spike Lee ("Mars") Nike commercials? Most of them were pretty lame ("It's gotta be the shoes!"), but I liked the one where they had some scientist talking... "Michael Jordan uses the force of his muscles to accelerate in the vertical plane, thereby creating a low altitude earth orbit."
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By KAM on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 11:51 am:

I'd like to comment on the "It's only been shown once" nonsense.

There have been a number of commercials that have supposedly only been shown once, except that they've been shown many times on various shows that talk about advertising and the idiots still say, "This commercial has only been shown once."
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg! The truth is the advertisers only paid to have it aired once, the other 400 times it's been shown has been for free!

[rant mode off]

Actually, I think what catches most guys' attention in the 1984 spot is Miss Jello Chest.

I liked the old "Why do you think they call it dope?" spots. Back in the days when "dope" was a bad word, of course.
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By margie on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 01:38 pm:

I like the Taco Bell ad where the Chihuahua Is after Godzilla "Here leezard leezard leezard!" & "I theenk I need a beeger box!"
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By MarkN on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 08:12 am:

ScottN, I'm sure I heard that Iron Eyes Cody wasn't really Native American, that he was just a Canadian actor or something, but oh, well. No big whoop. And thanks for reminding me of the voiceover saying, "Like father, like son." And, no, it's Rodney.

I kinda chuckled a bit at the first Taco Bell ad with the ugly dog, but after that it got old like reeeeeeeeeally fast.

And as for Spike Lee, well, <<snip!>> but that's getting way off-subject.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 11:38 am:

Don't get me wrong, Mark, I dislike Lee as well... I just happen to like that particular "Mars Blackmun(?)" Nike commercial.
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By Dude on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 10:07 pm:

Cody was an Italian-American.
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By Butch Brookshier on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 10:18 pm:

One of my favorites is an old public service spot that featured a very charming song about how easy it is to get VD. The lyrics went something like "VD is for everybody, not just for the few. Anyone can share VD with someone nice as you".
On the subject of ads that appeared only once, I remember a series of ads that only appeared on a Bob Dylan/Joan Baez special.
The ads told the story of two women on vacation in the northeast (Maine?)& one of them has a romance with a local man. I think
it was sponsored by an audio electronics company.
I'm not sure if they qualify as favorite commercials but back in the early sixties (dating myself there)there were a series of ads with the slogan, "Please, please don't be a litterbug cause every litter bit hurts".They sure influenced me. To this day I'm careful about littering.
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By ScottN on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 11:43 am:

Dude,

According to his AP obituary, Cody was (at least half) Cherokee.
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By ScottN on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 04:18 pm:

Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don't.
Peter Paul Almond Joy's got nuts!
Mounds don't.
Because...
Sometimes you feel like a nut!
Sometimes you don't!
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By MarkN on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 07:44 am:

ScottN, it goes like this.

Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don't.
Almond Joy's got nuts!
Mounds don't.
Almond Joy's got real milk chocolate (yeah, yeah,yeah),
coconut, and munchy nuts, too (oo-oo!).
Mounds got deep dark chocolate, and chewy coconut, Oooo!
Sometimes you feel like a nut (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Sometimes you don't! (oo-oo!)
Peter Paul's Almond Joy's got nuts.
Peter Paul's Mounds don't.
Because...
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Sometimes you don't!

I found a groovey, far-out site with this and other classic tv jingles on it. If you've got RealPlayer then you can hear all these classic tv jingles too, and lots of other goodies. It's a massive site, and you can check it out at:
http://www.4a2z.com/cgi/rfr.cgi?4COMMERCIALS-2-http://members.tripod.com/~tricksterEd/commer.html

http://www.4commercials.com/

Check out the Unseen Scenes for a look at what could perhaps be DeForrest Kelley's first tv gig.

Listen to the Coca-Cola #1, for the old "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing" jingle.

Mamma Mia! That's-a spicy meatball!
He likes it! Hey, Mikey!
=============================
Hi, there. What's your name?
Rodney.
Rodney what?
Rodney Allen Rippey! (High pitched voice)
What's do you have there, Rodney?
A Jumbo Jack.
Where'd you get it?
At Jack In The Box!

That's roughly the jist of how I remember it, but I'm sure there's a lot more to it.

Here's a radio jingle site: http://www.comedyradio.net/act/spot
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By MarkN on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 08:36 am:

Man, that http://www.4commercials.com site is addictive! For you fellow "oldtimers" it'll really take you down memory lane!
You'll see and hear things you remember and many things you won't, or have seen before, either. For you young 'uns, it'll be a sorta history lesson for ya.
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By ScottN on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 01:40 pm:

Mark, I thought it was "Mamma Mia! That's a speecy spicey meatball!"

Anyone remember In-diiii-gestion? Pepto-Bismol!
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By MarkN on Saturday, October 23, 1999 - 06:33 am:

Yeah, Scott, that's how I remembered it too (well, except for the "speecy" *S*), but when I tried it on RealPlayer from www.4commercial.com it was said just as I'd posted.

After a few tries, I'd remembered most of the Almond Joy/Mounds jingle, but took the better part of an hour looking for sites with classic jingles on them, till I finally found 4.commercials.com and the lyrics to it.
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By Dan R. on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 04:12 pm:

I LOVE the M&M commercials! My fav one is the one where Plain, Peanut, and Crispy are sitting around a newstand (or whatever it is) eating M&Ms then the guy walks in asks what they are doing and tells them eating their own kind is unnatural...so they switch bags!!! LOL I love his reaction walking out "That's just disturbing!"
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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 01:37 am:

That one *IS* really good, Dan... I thought it was hysterical.

Hey, anyone remember the classic M&M ad...

------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:

[cowboys sitting at a table, playing cards]
These cards are marked!
They're a mess!
[use M&Ms instead of a candy bar]
Got any 3's?
[deadpan drawl] Go Fish!
------------------------------------------------------------------

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By ScottN on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 01:42 am:

How about those Cyberian Outpost commercials? The ones where they shoot hamsters (obviously fake) from a cannon... or where they release the wolves on the marching band? I thought those were wonderful! They were trying to break every rule about standard advertising...
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 10:53 am:

I hear those launching hamster ones got the company in a lot of trouble, becuase people though they were real.
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By KAM on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 10:54 am:

A few years ago they had some cute spots for the Washington State Lottery.
The people would make a statement about what they would do with the money and then show a different interpretation.
One had a farmer type saying they would buy some hogs, then showed them riding Harlys, or another person would get some hardwood floors, then we see them bowling on their own personal alley, but my favorite was the woman who said, "I would give it to my boss." Then they showed her turning the boss's desk over.
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 11:11 am:

I love (and miss) the old Maryland Lottery commercials. They had a really catchy tune and it was a really good commercial and they ran it for a few years...but sadely it is no more.
I can STILL hear the tune "everyone's got a dream, and every day someone's dream comes true...the Maryland Lottery...it could be you..."
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, October 26, 1999 - 05:21 pm:

One of the only GOOD health product commercials are the series for mothernature.com....one good one is where a guy walks into a pharmacy and says stuff like "the train ain't leaving the station" and then the commercials says you can go to mothernature.com now instead of being embarrased to tell your problems to folks...and they actually (Scott, you won't believe it!!!) type in CONSTIPATION in the search form!!! Man I bet everyone just fell over when that commercial aired!! using "constipation" instead of "irregularity"!!! ;-)
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By margie on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 01:37 pm:

When I first saw that commercial, constipation was not what came to my mind. I was waiting for him to be led to the Viagra display!
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By ScottN on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 02:51 pm:

How about the old Chiffon Margarine commercials?

"It's not nice to fool Mother Nature" (that was Chiffon, wasn't it?), or "If you think it's butter, but it's not, it's Chiffon".

Or the Imperial margarine commercials with the crown? I was ticked off as a kid when I tried it and didn't get a crown too.

Or, Bluebonnet margarine "Everything's better with bluebonnet on it".
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By ScottN on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 02:59 pm:

I, too went to http://www.4commercials.com and found a few I'd forgotten...

The Federal Express fast talking guy...
Joe Isuzu (David Leisure had smarmy down perfect)
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By margie on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 03:39 pm:

Butter...Butter...Parkay!
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By Mark Morgan on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:33 pm:

Me, I still have the Apple "Hal" ad on my computer from it's time on the Apple web site. "You like your Macintosh better than me, don't you, Dave?"

My current favorite is The Best Blair Witch Project Parody Ever: the Cartoon Network's ads for "The Sooby Doo Project."
"Maybe this time we shouldn't have meddled, we shouldn't have *meddled*." On the floor, laughing, that's where I am.
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 05:06 pm:

The Scooby-Doo one is on right now! How weird is that?
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By MarkN on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 08:29 am:

One of my favorite ads is the beer one (I forget which brand--Miller, perhaps?) that used Steppenwolf's "Magic Carpet Ride".
There's a buff dude on the beach, he opens his beer, it snows or something, and there's that bee-YEW-tee-full (full in all the right ways, if you know what I mean, and I think you do!) blackhaired lass in the skimpiest yellow two-piece who slo-o-o-owly sits up and looks over at him and of course they hook up. That chick has the hottest body ever shown in a tv ad, and yes, moreso than even Ali Landry! By chance, does anyone know who she was or where I can find out?
No, I'm not gonna stalk her. I'm just curious, is all.
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By ScottN on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 11:34 am:

On the subject of beer commercials...

The Michelob commercial, where "Nicole" comes home (with a bag from the local lingerie store), finds a note telling her to grab a couple of beers and meet her husband in the living room... she shows up at her surprise party in her negligee... Is that Nicole deBoer? It looks like her.

Also, she has a strange idea of a romantic evening... Of course, maybe she thought he was watching the game and she'd surprise him...
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By Dan R. on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 05:03 pm:

MarkN: Suuuuurrrrrrrrrrrreeee you're not gonna stalk her...just remember what you do in your own time is none of our concern! ;-)
I swear that girl DOES look like Nicole but I dunno....She looks different...(I don't mean the fact about the no dots! ;-))...
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By BDW on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 05:56 pm:

It's not Nicole DeBoer. The girl in the commercial was on The Late Late Show w/ Craig Kilbron awhile ago. Can't remember her name though.
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By Mike Ram on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 08:59 pm:

Stop talking about my girlfriend!

Just kidding. -_o
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By MarkN on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:26 am:

Ah, jeez, Dan! You saw through my insidiously evil plan! Thanks for spoiling it! Now what am I gonna do?
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By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 11:20 am:

You could move to Port Mike.
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By ScottN on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 12:07 pm:

I think that last poster was actually Ccabe's Evil Twin in disguise.
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By Vicki on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 08:04 pm:

When my daughter was two, she was eating pancakes and the bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup was right in front of her. I saw her glaring at the bottle and she was absolutely furious when she slammed down her fist on the table next to the bottle and shouted "TALK!"
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By MarkN on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 06:10 am:

LOL. That's very funny, Vicki.
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By KAM on Saturday, November 6, 1999 - 11:52 am:

I like some of the Mountain Dew commercials.
The "lost" commercial. I just like that chipper and phony happiness that the guy has, especially when he jumps.

The first one to feature the Dew dudettes. (Do they have an official name?) Mainly for the eye candy, though. (But I don't think I'm as sappy as the Dude at the end.)

My favorite has to be the one with the Dude & Dudette on snowboards meeting and spinning in mid-air, then the Mountain Dew comes at them and she dumps him for the drink. *Sniff* *Sniff* I guess I'm just a romantic at heart.
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By Dan R. on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 12:03 am:

One commercial I love is that VW Jetta one, where the woman is driving with her boyfriend/husband and he thinks for a minute...she asks what...he says "You remember...that night where we made that video?" (she gets a goofy grin on her face) "yeah." "I think we just returned it!" Then you see them come to a screeching halt and when they get back to the store everyone is watching it!
There's another one like that...its for a label maker for your VHS tapes. A guy is show his girl's parents home videos they made...and one turns out to be...well ya know! ;-) Love those commercials!
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 04:27 am:

The interesting thing about the second commercial is that as soon as the tape starts up it sounds like they are in the middle of... well ya know. So did they start to rewind the tape then stop or did they only watch part of it, then stopped it?

Years ago when they were still the Seattle Supersonics. they had a series of animated commercials treating the team members as superheroes. Supposedly the costumes were designed by Neal Adams, although the lousy animation didn't do his designs justice, but still they were cute commercials.
Fans: "It's Rain Boy!"
Shawn Kemp: "That's Rain Man!"

A wizard give Gary Payton a magical glove and he starts moonwalking. "Ooops. Wrong glove."

In one commercial they fought Shaqzilla.

The spots were narrated by Russel Johnson (the Professor from Gilligan's Island.)
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By ScottN on Thursday, November 11, 1999 - 04:58 pm:

Whatever happened to the TIDY BOWL Man? (sp?)

Did he get moonstruck [grin]?
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By Tidy Bowl Man on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 12:58 pm:

*Flush*

Heeeeeeeeeelp!

*gurgle, gurgle, gurgle*
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By KAM on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 01:02 pm:

Isn't the idea of a man in your toilet just the least bit disturbing?
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By Flusher on Friday, November 12, 1999 - 05:54 pm:

Sorry Ti-D-Bowl man, but strange things like that happen during a FULL MOON!
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By Dan R. on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 07:45 pm:

One commercial I just love (cause its so sick!) is on the radio. I don't know who makes the glasses or even if it's for glasses...all I know its about people who can't see well (and they need new glasses or lenses of laser vision correction or whatever they are advertising). A guy and a girl are coming home for a hot date...the guy makes himself comfortable and tries to put the moves on the girl..she tells him she's gonna slip into something more commfortable and then she ends up in a closet.....we hear a cat meow and the guy is saying "my your hair is so soft! How bout we....?" and then they advertise the glasses or contacts or whatever and then you hear the guy saying "was it good for you?" and then you hear the cat meow! Its not hard to imagine what happened...but really you'd think the guy would suspect something that the thing he's doing is a pu....er cat...;-)
I just about drove off the rode laughing so hard when I heard this. I didn't describe it to well but I guarntee it was FUNNY AS HECK!
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By XNZ on Saturday, November 13, 1999 - 09:30 pm:

You think he would of noticed the size difference, or the tail. (The Crying Game all over again.;-)

Well, maybe he was distracted by the 6 nipples?
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By MarkN on Sunday, November 14, 1999 - 08:17 am:

I wonder if the writers of that ad were Steve Martin fans, cuz on one of his records in the 70s he had a joke about a date with a woman. He mentioned the word pussycat (-"cat"), and of course the audience thought he meant her privates and laughed hysterically, but the punchline was that her cat was the best, er, shall we say, lay that he ever had, although he used the more colorful F-word, of course. If they're not fans then maybe they recently heard the record or something.
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By ScottN, sounding very random right now on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 06:03 pm:

There used to be a Scandinavian assemble-it-yourself store out here in SoCal called Stor (with a / through the o). I think they were bought out by Ikea. ANYWAYS....

They opened a second store, and ran commercials trumpeting the fact that they were "two big". They had this nerdy guy [ed. note: talk about the pot calling the kettle black!] asking "what's two big, the planet Neptune?" of course, it sounded like "too big"... It was just so incongruous that I liked it.

By ScottN on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 2:12 pm:

I stand corrected. Iron Eyes Cody was not a Native American.

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 7:10 am:

By Afix on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 12:10 pm:

I always liked the old animated Levi's commercials. The first one of the series ended with a motorcycle cop bursting through the logo and taking off with screeching tires and a loud "VROOOM!". Every commercial in the campaign after that had a short "vroom!" at the very end.
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 08:58 pm:

A great local commercial from back in the 70's for Rainier Beer featured a motorcyclist on a country road, but instead of the doppler shift being of the cycle's engine it was, "rrrrrraaaaaaaaainnnnnIEEEEEEEEER BBBBBeeeeeerrrrrrr!
A really cute spot.

I forget the beer company, but they had spots featuring the "Yes, I am" guy, and others featuring the guys dressed up as ladies for Ladies Night. The best of both series had the 'Ladies' playing in a pool championship, then they met the champion. "You're the Ladies champion?" "Yes, I am."

Of course, some commercials are funny, because they can be interpreted in a way which was clearly not intended. (Hmmmm, maybe we need a Double Meanings In Commercials - An Immature Discussion board? Or maybe not. Could be more trouble than it's worth.)
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By ScottN on Thursday, November 25, 1999 - 02:54 am:

I think it was Bud Lite (the same guys who dress up for '70s nite).
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By ScottN on Thursday, November 25, 1999 - 02:54 am:

Here's an oldie...

I'm [insert girl's name here]. Fly me!

Name the (now defunct) company.
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By rachgd on Thursday, November 25, 1999 - 09:20 pm:

Fresh goes better,
Mentos freshness,
Fresh goes better with Mentos
Fresh and full of life.

Mentos... the fresh maker.

I defy anyone to read those words and not start humming the tune. Does it make me buy Mentos? No. But does it make me bop in time with the music? Yep.

I also like the "priceless" Mastercard ads that are on at the moment. There is one that is on public transport here in Melbourne...

------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:

"Just catching this tram -- priceless."
------------------------------------------------------------------

And so true! And did it make me want a Mastercard? Well, I already have one so... no.

And does anyone remember the drink Fruitopia? There was a great print ad of it on billboards around town a few years back:

------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:

"It's fruit, Jim, but not as we know it."
------------------------------------------------------------------

That just made me smile. And buy Fruitopia. What, an actually effective ad? Weird.
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By KAM on Friday, November 26, 1999 - 02:42 am:

The new Target commercial spoofing the Blair Witch Project. Dumb, but funny. Or maybe it's funny because it is dumb. Take your pick.
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By MarkN on Sunday, November 28, 1999 - 06:11 am:

KAM, I was thinking of that one, too. I hate it cuz it's got Barf Brooks on it (yes, it's immature to say that, but hey, I hate the jerk, so sue me!) and Blair Witch parodies are old news already.
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By KAM on Sunday, November 28, 1999 - 07:09 am:

I thought that was Chris Gaines? ;-)
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By Afix on Monday, December 6, 1999 - 11:17 am:

They are now showing one of my all-time favorite commercials again. It starts by showing a young, clean-cut looking guy entering a CGI sports arena. He has to battle through all sorts of obstacles, including a meat-grinder type thing, climbing a spinning rock tower, only to get a sword and battle a fire-and-brimstone monster. At the end, he points the sword in the air and transforms into a Marine in dress blues. ARRUGHHH!

All the way through watching this commercial, I was thinking to myself, "Man, I'd love to play that game!" When it got to the end, I realized "Hey! I already DID!" (I am a formerly active-duty Marine).
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By D.K. Henderson on Saturday, December 11, 1999 - 07:53 am:

I like the Beggin' Strips commercial, where you see a (fake) dog's snout rushing about the kitchen, looking for bacon. "Bacon, bacon bacon! Gotta have the bacon! What's in the bag?...I CAN'T READ!...."

There's another commercial that I thought was funny, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was for. It was telling about how men don't agonize over their looks the way women do, by showing men making comments about themselves. The line I really liked was the last one, where the man says, utterly deadpan: "I have my mother's thighs. I have to accept that."
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By KAM on Saturday, December 11, 1999 - 08:15 pm:

That was Special K.
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By Mike Ram on Saturday, December 11, 1999 - 10:44 pm:

Just saw a commercial for Candies' perfumes/colognes. I think it's one of the best commercials I have ever seen! Alyssa Milano...phew. Incredible.
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By margie on Wednesday, December 22, 1999 - 07:56 am:

There's one on right now that's just so cute. It's by Dirt Devil. Santa comes with a gift of three puppies, who get in all kinds of mishaps. Santa uses the Dirt Devil to clean up the broken cookies, spilled potting soil, etc. Those puppies are just SO CUTE!
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By MarkN on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 03:59 am:

Well, I'm a sucker for pretty women and puppies, so I like the Liz Hurley ads (I forget what the ads are for but I know I'll remember as soon as I post this message), although you know that's not her husband or kids or even her puppies but they're just so darned cute, too!

I was gonna comment on that Beggin' Strips over on the Worst Commercials ad cuz we really don't have any idea what a dog is thinking, let alone get into his head and see as he sees. Hell, dogs are colorblind, let alone can't speak, even inside their own heads, so that ad is totally preposterous.
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By KAM on Thursday, December 23, 1999 - 08:25 am:

MarkN: Do you realize that your last sentence contradicted your previous one?
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By MarkN on Friday, December 24, 1999 - 08:47 am:

How so? Cuz I said dogs are colorblind and that we can't see as he sees?
Yeah, I guess so, but it wasn't meant to come out like that. I mean, you know what I mean, and I'm sure (he said hopefully) that everyone else thinks so, too. I was just going by what I'd heard about dogs being colorblind. Oh, well. Silly me. Oh, and thanks for pointing that out and totally humiliating and embarrassing me in front of all of my nitpicking friends. How can I ever show my face here again? Oh, wait, that's right. We don't show our faces here, do we? At least not that I know of. Silly me, part deux.
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By MarkN on Friday, December 24, 1999 - 08:51 am:

Anyway, I forgot to say there's one ad I like and that's the Chanel No.5 one with that pretty blonde Little Red Riding Hood. What I don't like about it is that she's not shown nearly long enough! Oh, but that mysteriously mischievious smile of hers just melts my heart!
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By Science Man on Friday, December 24, 1999 - 03:33 pm:

Dogs are colorblind. Examination of their eyes has shown only rods, no cones.
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By MarkN on Saturday, December 25, 1999 - 04:03 am:

HAH! I was right then. Thank you, Science Man.

Science Man! Science Man!
Helps with science whenever he can!
Helps the poor, helps the rich.
And all he wants is a lousy sandwich

Yeah, ok, so I'm not exactly an accomplished jingle writer but hey, it's all in fun.
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Saturday, December 25, 1999 - 12:28 pm:

Well, at the risk of further embarrassing & humiliating you MarkN, I was also referring to the parts that said "we really don't have any idea what a dog is thinking", then in your second sentence, you wrote that dogs "can't speak, even inside their own heads".

Even Science Man can't help you now. Muhahahahahaha!

(Ooops. Thought this was LICC for a moment.)
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By Mark Morgan on Sunday, December 26, 1999 - 12:47 am:

Are dogs really completely colorblind? Cecil Adams doesn't think so. The research he quotes says dogs only lack the green receptor.
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By MarkN on Sunday, December 26, 1999 - 03:45 am:

It's ok, KAM. I'm over it now, and I forgive ya. Just don't do it again! haha!
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By Afix on Monday, December 27, 1999 - 10:31 am:

Funny, I thought MarkN's contradiction was in saying that he was a sucker for .... puppies, then says in the next paragraph that a dog commercial belongs in the Worst Commercials category.
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By Science ManTM on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 02:28 am:

------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:

Science Man! Science Man!
Helps with science whenever he can!
Helps the poor, helps the rich.
And all he wants is a lousy sandwich
------------------------------------------------------------------

Look out here comes the Science Man®!
In the still of the lab, with an experiment,
Oh no, where's that quark? Look out, there it went!

Science Man, Science Man!
Friendly Neighborhood Science Man!
Look out, here comes the Science Man!!!!
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By Brian Webber on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 03:55 am:

Anyone here live in Denver? Don't you just love that commercial for 99.5 The Hawk? :-)
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By MarkN on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 05:52 am:

Afix, I am a sucker for puppies. That's got nothing to do with disliking an ad for a dog snack, so there's really no contradiction, cuz they're two completely different things.

Scince Man, I love the ode to the old 1960's Spiderman cartoon theme song.
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By Dan R. on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 12:08 am:

There's a funny a$$ radio commercial in the DC area...I have NO idea what it's for...I'm to busy laughing but it's directed at women (kinda) it goes "Ever been too nervous to approach a cute guy...but then he approaches you...and he talks....kinda" and they have this guy that sounds like a cross between Sly Stallone and Pauly Shore (No kidding!!!!) and he sounds really dumb and says dumb stuff..."Wanna go to a tractor pull?" "wanna see my tattoo?"
Its funny as heck but I keep missing what they are trying to sell! LOL
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Wednesday, February 9, 2000 - 02:00 am:

The Staples commercial where the light shines on the gal and she looks up as a deep voice tells her about Staples, then the camera pulls back to reveal it was just the guy changing the light who was talking. Still makes me laugh.
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By margie on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 01:47 pm:

There's another one for Staples that plays, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," while the dad is getting back to school supplies, & the kids are trudging behind. Always makes me laugh, 'cuz I know how those kids feel!
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By ScottN on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 04:20 pm:

And it makes ME laugh, 'cuz I know how the *PARENTS* feel!
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By BLT on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 03:51 pm:

Wassssuuuupppp!
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Saturday, February 12, 2000 - 12:50 am:

There's another one for Staples that plays, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," while the dad is getting back to school supplies, & the kids are trudging behind. Always makes me laugh, 'cuz I know how those kids feel!

I've seen this one too, but it was for Buisness Depot!
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By John on Saturday, February 12, 2000 - 05:19 pm:

Dan R, you have no idea how hard I laughed when I read your post it was so funny! Any way as I was reading I was reminded of this scene from High school High, where Jon Lovitz has taken Tia Carrera home. They're in the dark, Jon Lovitz is getting down to business; he's really enjoying himself, then Tia says I'm over here. Then her cat screams.
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By MarkN on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 02:55 am:

I've finally seen that Staples ad tonight. Funny voice that guy had.
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By MarkN on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 03:59 am:

Saturday Night Live did two funny commercial parodies tonight. One was of the erectile dysfunction ad, which turned out to be for Tootsie Roll instead, after the actor suffered thru lots of embarassing personal things. The other was of Shatner's Priceline ads with the guy who plays Clinton also doing Shatner in the parody.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 04:38 pm:

There's one know that has three people each are bungee jumping off a bridge and at the bottom they grab a can of pop of some kind and open it and shoot it (the liquid) into their mouth's. It says it has 100 times the carbonation of normal pop then when the third guy openes it it exploded, vapouroizing him.It then says "only one product kills 1/3 of those who use it... Tobacco". I think it gets the point across really well.
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By John on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 04:46 pm:

There was this one commercial from last year from Smart Beep. They sell pagers here in Los Angeles. In the ad there's this guy who's picking up a blind date. She looks real hot. He lets her in the passenger seat. As he walks around the car to get in, she cuts a nasty fart. Then he gets in the car and says,"Did you meet my freinds?" She looks in the back seat and sees another couple. The voiceover says,"That was dumb, this is smart." Then the voice tells about the deal on the pagers. Then the driver says, "Can you feel the excitment?" The girl in the back says,"I felt it."
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By ScottN on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 04:51 pm:

That one's on the Urban Legends page.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 11:56 am:

I like the Skytel pager commercial with the guy who is talking on his cellphone at the opera.

I mean, who HASN'T wanted to do what the fat opera viking lady did to the jerk?
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By MarkN on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 05:51 am:

I like that one, too, Scott. But if you look closely it looks like there are people right behind the rude cellphone guy and they'd get skewered, or nearly so, by that spear. Speaking of which, in real life wouldn't it have been made of light, harmless materials?
I dunno about opera props so it's just an idea, but that's what I think it would really be like.

As for the Urbans Legend page, were you referring to John's post about that ad in which the woman farts? If you were, it's a real ad. Jay Leno showed it on his show, or else I saw it on some other show, like Montel Williams or something. It was so controversial that it was either shown only once or not at all. I'm not sure.
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By ScottN on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 12:51 pm:

I know the ad is real, but the story is an urban legend.
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By MarkN on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 07:02 am:

Oh, ok, Scott. I wasn't sure, but why would it be on the Urban Legends page, anyway?

The other night Leno also showed an ad with a 704lb. black sumo wrestler, who was on the show. The ad shows a Japanese sumo wrestler with a pager in his hand, and the message said "$1.99 a minute" and then you see "$7.99 a month" on another pager held by the black sumo wrestler. They both get into a sumo wrestling stance, the Japanese one then goes down on his hands and knees and crawls under the bigger guy, who then sits down on top of him. The little guy disappears, and when the big guy gets up and turns his back to the camera you see the little guy's head and one arm (which is waving around) sticking out of the big guy's butt. Gross, but very funny.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 01:56 pm:

I love that authtication error comercial too! The best part is when they jumps through the 100'th story window, and lands on his face and gets mad because be broke his glasses.

Seriously though, another great comercial is the one in the office building where they guy is eating a salad and behind him out the window is a flying sauser and two people enter the office in shock that his salad has havarte (?) (a type of cheese) on it.
Then two guys with big guns walk in after the ufo and do the same.
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By Mike Ram on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 02:26 pm:

The Meaty-Cheesey Boys commercial...

Baby you know you want my love...
But it's not you I'm thinking of...
I want the Ultimate Cheeseburger!
And baby, you know it's hot and juicy 'cause Jack won't make it 'till you order it...
When I say 'meat' you say 'cheese'!
Meat!
Cheese!
Meat!
Cheese!
When I say 'meat' you say 'cheese'!
Meat!
Cheese!
Meat!
Cheese!

Jack:"Our target audience is MEN!
Pitcher:"What's a target?"

That's one of the funniest commercials I have ever seen!
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By Afix on Sunday, February 20, 2000 - 08:22 pm:

Mike, I was lucky enough to see that one on my last trip out of state. We don't have Jack in the Boxes here.......

For others that can't see it, it is a perfect sendup of the Backstreet Boys or other boy bands. They even have a website!
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By MarkN on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 03:45 am:

I thought there were JITB's all over the states. There's also an upcoming boybands parody on tv. I guess it's a sort of an updated Monkees.
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By Mike Ram on Monday, April 10, 2000 - 01:34 am:

I liked the commercials for "WWF Wrestlemania 2000" for N64 and "WWF Smackdown" for PSX. The Rock cracked me up every time.

(Sitting next to Santa in the bathroom)
"The Rock is gonna take that little green sack, all those toys, and shove 'em straight up your candy ass!"

~_-
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By Slinky Frog on Sunday, April 16, 2000 - 11:20 pm:

I love the recent GAP commercials. Where you have the dancers dresses in GAP clothing and during the dances and songs from West Side Story. I think this advertizing thought is pure greatness. I love the dancing, and it brings back the flavor of West Side Story, and the clothes look great on the dancers, where they are doing the steps. In fact, lately The GAP have been these type commercials lately, and I love them. The ones they did during Christmas, are great. I love the one where they had the kids doing dances to past pop tunes, and the picture morphs to kids dressed differently, and rollerblading to Christmas tunes, and then it morphs back. Pure Genius!
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By Jason on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 12:09 am:

I didn't like when they merged Sleighride with Ice Ice Baby. That was just bad. If they had used only one of the songs, then it would have been OK.
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By ScottN on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 02:16 am:

------------------------------------------------------------------
Quote:

By ScottN on Thursday, November 25, 1999 - 02:54 am:
Here's an oldie...

I'm [insert girl's name here]. Fly me!

Name the (now defunct) company.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Nobody gets the cookie! It was National Airlines
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By Slinky Frog on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 03:33 pm:

Jason: I forgot about that one. I keep remembering the one where they played Cool it now from a group from the eighties. I think it was the group that had Bobby Brown in it. With I forgot the Christmas tune it was mixed with. Though, I'm with you, using Ice Ice Baby was not a good idea in my book.
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By KAM on Tuesday, April 18, 2000 - 02:49 am:

Slinky, I think the group was New Edition.
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By Mark Bowman on Wednesday, April 19, 2000 - 01:01 pm:

One of my recent favorites is the one shows a guy shoving his PC out the window (I can;t remember how many times I wanted to do that to my own machine . A coulke nits though.

The abort, retry, fail message only has OK as an option (yeah, they probaly figured people wouldn't notice that

It seems strange that the guy would hit escape instead of enter after typing a command (of course, it could be the way the app he was suing works)

I don't remmeber what the ad was for <:}
(I think it was some car commercial)
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By Lea Frost on Wednesday, April 19, 2000 - 09:51 pm:

I rather like the AIG spot where they read from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"...just because that's such a cool poem...
:-)
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By J. Alfred Prufrock on Thursday, April 20, 2000 - 11:33 am:

Shall I part my hair behind?
Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers
and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they shall sing to me.

I would have said something about being a pair of ragged claws, but I can't remember the line fully...
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By Lea Frost on Friday, April 21, 2000 - 01:15 am:

That's OK -- you've already got my favorite part of the poem... :-)
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By ScottN on Friday, April 21, 2000 - 11:40 am:

I saw the AIG commercial for the first time last night. The juxtaposition of the T.S.Eliot poem and the moon shot footage was awesome!

Incidentally, Lea, I had completely forgotten the verse about "measuring life with coffee spoons".
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By ScottN on Saturday, April 22, 2000 - 03:09 am:

I saw a funny one tonight for Rice Krispies Treats. This guy is standing on a subway and the train stops. He loses his grip and falls to the floor. To prevent that from happening again, he uses a RKT as "stickum". The train stop again and his hand does hold on to the strap. Unfortunately, his arm rips off at the shoulder and he falls to the ground. Very funny.
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By Keith Alan Morgan (Kmorgan) on Wednesday, May 10, 2000 - 01:26 am:

I like the Sprite commercial with the ice skater playing hockey. (Although I do wonder how they avoided actually hurting the guy.)

Speaking of Sprite, many years ago they had a commercial where a woman in a fur coat pulls out a piglet. It was such a bizarre image that it almost always made me laugh. I think it was a 'We like the Sprite in you' commercial.
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By Mike Ram on Thursday, May 25, 2000 - 01:40 am:

Perfect Dark (N64). Awesome commercials.
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By Butch Brookshier on Friday, June 9, 2000 - 01:37 am:

I like the one for a shipping company that has all the macho guy action figures dressed up in womens clothes. Especially where one figure hits another with his purse.
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By KAM on Friday, June 9, 2000 - 10:39 pm:

"Matching night vision tiara, sold separately."

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 7:57 am:

By MarkN on Monday, November 22, 1999 - 03:55 am:

Today I saw a new ad for the game, "You Don't Know Jack," in which a group of people are safe and warm inside a cabin, and they know there's a guy stuck out in the snow somewhere, but it'll take about 3 hours to find him so they figure, "Well, ok, we've got time enough to play You Don't Know Jack." Hello? That's just more time for you uncaring, selfish morons to go find the guy, who's shown shivering out in the snow. Of course you can tell it's done within a studio but so what? The message is moronic, to say the least. I don't believe it! This ad just now came on! haha!

Then there's the one with the couple at a paint store. You think they want to paint their house. Then you see she's preggers, so you think they want to paint a baby's room. Then they get the color they want, orange. Then you see them with their faces painted half orange/blue, split down the middle like Lokai and Bele in "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield." Then you finally find out what the ad's selling: Visa credit cards! And I'm tired of their old tagline about this or that place not taking MasterCard, so be sure to carry Visa. Lots of people carry both and other cards, but they won't want you to think that, natch.
Like we're really too stup¡d to realize that.
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By margie on Monday, November 22, 1999 - 02:00 pm:

Has anyone ever been in a place that takes Visa but not the other cards?
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By Dan R. on Monday, November 22, 1999 - 07:29 pm:

Anyplace will take visa and mastercard but not everyone will take American Express. Even AE customers know this...where I worked before, I got lots of people asking if we accepted there card. Not everyone takes American Express.
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By Radio Flyer on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 01:36 am:

How about the current radio ad for trojans (Sorry about the non-family friendly), where the guy and the girl are in his office, and he invites her to "check out his laptop"?
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By MarkN on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 06:17 am:

Dude.
Dude?
Du-ude?
Dude.
Du-u-ude!
Dudes.
Dude.

Anyone like this idiotic ad? Why would someone with 4 passengers in his brand spanking new car, buy 5 large, very hot coffees filled to the rim (with Brim?) without lids, get into the car, and drive over railroad tracks, even if he's confident that the car's shock absorbers are so good as to not worry about spilling one drop of coffee? Yeah, sure, it could happen. I liked the different uses of "Dude", though. Once.
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 09:48 am:

There's a commercial with this store owner talking about the problems he used to have with underaged smokers trying to buy cigarettes, then he says he's now part of the WE CARD program and when someone tries to buy cigarettes he just points to the sign.

So what?

How is one, dumb, little piece of cardboard going to change anything? If people were going to argue with the guy before the sign, they will still argue after the sign. It is idiotic to assume that anything will change.
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 01:32 pm:

Notice how this one was paid for by Philip Morris.
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By ScottN on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 04:26 pm:

Speaking of "filled to the rim (with Brim?)", that was a dumb one... "Fill it to the rim. With Brim?"

I have never heard anyone say "Fill it to the rim". "Fill it to the brim", on rare occaisions, but never the former. Looks like they went out of their way to make the pun (sort of like me J)

Or how about Mr. Whipple, and his coming out of retirement?
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 07:30 pm:

This dosne't rally have anything to do with tv commercials, but i've noticed banner ads where a sprite moves rapidly back and forth is becomming more and more popular (usualy they have a caption that says something like "punch the coin and win 20$"). I sometimes use NetZero, which is a free internet provider, that is paid for by a banner ad that stays on the screen, and these kinds of ads are not only annoying to look at, but completly distract me from what I am doing. Not to mention it can trigger seizures. I am not epileptic, but they still sometimes make me feel a bit nauseous.

I've seen those and I HATE them. The worst part is that they are appearing on more pages everyday! And it's false advertising, if you punch the money you do not win $20 for real. You win $20 'play' dollars for use on their site. Wow people off and give them sezures at the same time, talk about killing two birds with one stone.
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 07:54 pm:

As I said, I hate any car commercials, and I have a nit for one. There is a commercial by Chyrsler for their Concord...they show a sprinkler head shooting water all around...at a house, through an open window, at the door, etc. Then it stops shooting at the car..because the car commands "respect".
My nit is the Door. You hear a doorbell and then a woman answers it...who pushed the button? No one was around. And the water spout was no where near the doorbell.
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By MarkN on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 06:46 am:

Yeah, I hate that one, too, Dan.

Then there's the one with the cute little blonde girl with her mom. Little cutie's learning to read from a big book, with mom helping her. Then they're at McDonald's and the girl orders from a Braille menu! She's blind! Ok, fine. So where the hell are any McD's with Braille menus then? I think it's a good thing to have and very commendable, but c'mon, guys. Don't give the impression that all McD's are like that if they're not. Maybe they all do have Braille menus upon request, I dunno.
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By Callie Sullivan on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 08:18 am:

I don't know if a billboard advert counts under this category but it's made me so mad that I'll post it here anyway and the moderator can remove it if needs be:

In one of London's mainline railway terminuses (termini? - take your pick) there's a huge billboard above the platforms for a forthcoming Channel 4 TV programme. The picture is of a father, mother and teenage daughter, together with a young boy who is misbehaving in the foreground. In huge letters the banner reads, "Do you sometimes wish your child had never been born?"

Now I've never suffered the loss of a child, but the advert offends me, so what's it likely to do to someone who has lost a child? I can't believe in this day and age that a television company can be so thoughtless.
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By margie on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 08:41 am:

McDonald's does have Braille menus on request. My sister used to work at one. They're kept behind the counter. There are also picture menus, I guess for people who have problems communicating in English (speak other languages or are deaf)
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 09:57 am:

I HATE that Gap commercial that blends "Sleigh Ride" and "Ice Ice Baby." Once was clever, twice was neutral, the 63rd time is torture.
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By KAM on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 02:58 pm:

Matthew, Matthew, Matthew. Watch your language. A Blend is gentle mixing of two different items. Those Gap commercials, Rudely Interrupt a nice little Christmas tune with some really bad music.
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Thursday, November 25, 1999 - 09:06 pm:

There's one that airs on Baton Rouge TV that really bugs me. It features Jamie Wax (locally famous for Evangeline, the musical) standing in front of a blank background extolling the virtues of Eatel cellular phones. Horrible, horrible, fake script, expressions, and inflections. This one line about Aunt Martha's bunion removal is really, really awful. What's worse is, the exact same ads have been airing for over a year!

Also I need to nominate any commercial that features the Gap/Matrix "Make 'em do a karate kick, then freeze 'em in place, move the camera around them, and start it up again from a different angle" effect. Cool in the movie, cool in the *first* commercial, awful every time thereafter. (Why do the producers feel that if one is good, twenty million are better?)
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Thursday, November 25, 1999 - 10:15 pm:

There's a new comercial out for Subway that features the Loney Toons. The problem with it? They didn't include PePe! This seems true for just about any comercial with them in it! Are the animators racist of something?
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By ScottN on Friday, November 26, 1999 - 01:29 am:

There's a new comercial out for Subway that features the Loney Toons. The problem with it? They didn't include PePe!
This seems true for just about any comercial with them in it! Are the animators racist of something?

Racist against skunks, or racist against French people? I thought the PC idea was that you can't be racist against European males! J

How about that "Visa Magic Moment" commercial with the geek at the computer and his kid taking his first steps at the same time. I mean, the guy doesn't even look absorbed in the computing, he's just hangin'... You mean he won't even stop for a second and watch his kid when he hears his wife say "You're walking!"?????
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By Matt Pesti on Friday, November 26, 1999 - 10:16 am:

Gap Commercials shudder.

Does anyone think Looney toons have lost their effect? I mean sure the animation was great, But how many times in reruns before they get boring. I root the monsters in Space Jam. Same thing with Peanuts(though not the animation)

And speaking of which how do skunks get in France anyways?
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By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Friday, November 26, 1999 - 11:16 am:

Via air mail? Perhaps Acme delivers them?
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By MarkN on Sunday, November 28, 1999 - 05:43 am:

There are now 2 new Chalupa ads. TWO! The first one is with the dork hanging out of a highrise window. He's holding another person's hand and in the other a perfect chalupa, and he's in a quandry cuz the guy holding his one arm tells him to, say it all together now, "Drop the chalupa," urged on by the ugly little bugeyed beast below (you know who I mean). When he does drop it it doesn't come apart and isn't really falling anyway! It's filmed in bluescreen or greenscreen, whichever. Are we supposed to think that a mere fastfood item is worth more than our lives? If you're holding one and it comes down to a choice between your life or the chalupa and you have to think about it even for a second then you really deserve to die. No food item is worth dying for. I wish admakers would realize that we're not as stup¡d as they'd like us to be. I forget at the moment what the other chalupa ad is.
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By KAM on Sunday, November 28, 1999 - 07:17 am:

Well, if it were chocolate...

Actually there is a simple solution. "Shove the darn thing in your mouth and climb to safety!"

And since the guy is eating Mexican food, you would think he would have a gas-powered assist when getting up.
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By Dan R. on Thursday, December 2, 1999 - 02:12 pm:

Another set of dumb commercials out is the ones by bluenile.com. The folks who say something like "this moment...made possible by a man who knows his diamonds!" and the commercials have gals going crazy of diamonds and doing s-tupid things over them! Puhlease! That is so sexist to think woman act like that! I've only seen 2...2 women in a restaraunt and one stares at the other's engagement ring..the other is the worst and shows how sexist the commercials are...a woman is running around..she puts her kids in front of the tv, puts on a video, gets them a snack and then turns around and gives her husband the "look"...you know what one I mean. Then they show them going off into the bedroom!
Oh for god's sake! Why not just have a commercial with the guy handing the woman a diamond and then have him say "here's your diamond...let's screw!"
LOL I mean there are a lot more cost effective ways to have sex...there is your hand...but if you want to PAY for sex...forget diamonds...there are plenty of cheap hookers out there....er.......not that *I* would know! ;-)
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By MarkN on Friday, December 3, 1999 - 06:30 am:

I hate Steve Young's Toyota ads. Like a woman going on a blind date with him wouldn't know who he was, or that he'd go on a camping trip with a friend, who sits eating out of a can while Steve sits in home furnishings, watching a tv and having a pizza delivered, and they're watching a pisspoor version of "I Love Lucy".
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, December 7, 1999 - 10:25 am:

another bad commercial is one that is an anti marijuana campaign..instead of the just say no thing they tell you different things to do to let them know you don't want drugs...they say get an attitude "Get that dope outta my face!" or they say do a rap...might I say to the makers of this commercial that their ways of saying no is more deadly than weed??? If someone is offering you drugs (say a dealer) then they are more than likely packing heat...I would advise anyone who doesn't want any to just politely say no.
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By Keith Alan Morgan on Tuesday, December 7, 1999 - 10:41 am:

Anti-drug commercials are almost always bad. I think the last good one was "Why do you think they call it dope?" (Back in the days when dope meant idiot.)
One amazingly brain dead spot features someone offering drugs to a kid & the kid keeps saying no, then the guy congratulates his son and says that's just what he should say when offered drugs.
Like the kid was gonna yes when his dad is pretending to be the drug dealer?
("You want drugs?"
"Yes!"
"What!?!"
"Sorry, dad. You are such a good actor I forgot who you were for a moment.")
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By MarkN on Wednesday, December 8, 1999 - 06:57 am:

The last couple days now here in California are show the first political ad for some propositions or whatever. Great, as if xmas doesn't come earlier each year, now the political ads do, too.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, December 8, 1999 - 11:43 am:

Yeah, the ads are against 30 and 31. When you hear an ad talk about the "Trial Lawyers", you know it's by the insurance companies, and vice versa.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, December 8, 1999 - 11:46 am:

Nit on my own comment:

Racist against skunks, or racist against French people? I thought the PC idea was that you can't be racist against European males!

That should have been "it's impossible to be racist against European males".
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By Dan R. on Friday, December 10, 1999 - 12:53 pm:

Another new horrible one out there I happend to see during dinner one night...it goes..."This is the face of erectal disfunction..." and they show all these guys...I would like to personally kick the @$$ of the idiot in charge of putting commercials on during the dinner time slot... I would also like to know if those guys knew that there were posing for an erectal disfunction commercial...ROFL I mean they probably went on the street..."Hey...how would you like 50 bucks?"
"sure what do I have to do?"
"Just sign these papers and smile for the camera..." then they film a construction worker...a few weeks later the commercials airs and the worker shows up for work...wondering why everyone is laughing......;-)
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By MarkN on Sunday, December 12, 1999 - 01:22 am:

That's erectile dysfunction, and yes, it's awful, but I guess it's something that's got to be addressed, though I think it could be done more discreetly. I don't think a bunch of guys who really had that problem would be willing to go on camera for all the world (or at least the US) to see, and smiling about it to boot! I mean, cuh-MON!

Another set of ads are those Savane pants ones. The young, hunky, GQ-type guy who's at a nice restaurant with his model-pretty woman goes into the bathroom, tries to get some soft soap from the dispenser, squirts himself in the eye and then he rubs it in with the flat of his hand! Then he goes stumbling out into the restaurant without trying to wash it out first, and of course pandemonium ensues. Then suddenly he can see his pretty woman, who's smiling back at him, and they're both totally oblivious to all the chaos that's going on around them. All these two shallow people care about is how good his pants look. Yeah, right.

The other one has that young guy doing a presentation, he's sweating profusely, his shirt is soaking wet enough to put out a major forest fire, he's really bad at his presentation cuz he's so vague and sparse in it, but the audience doesn't care cuz when he's done they applaud his pants! Double yeah, right!

Hey, ad agencies, here's a new idea. Truth in advertising. Check into it. (Of course, that'd make ads boring but, oh, well.)

I just now saw a diamond one with a pretty mom putting her boy and girl in front of the tv set, surrounded by their toys, so that she and Dad can go into the bedroom and have sex! Wouldn't it be more prudent to wait till the little ones are asleep in bed at night? Just cuz the guy gets her a diamond ring is no reason to get your hormones in high gear while it's daytime and the kids are still up. What if one or both of the little rugrats gets their curiosity piqued and goes into the bedroom?
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By Bob Brehm on Sunday, December 12, 1999 - 12:24 pm:

I saw that one just yesterday and I was thinking the same thing
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By Dan R. on Sunday, December 12, 1999 - 01:24 pm:

MarkN, Yeah I guess it does need to be addressed...but please dear god NOT during DINNER TIME! The worst part about it is that I happened to be eating franks and beans that night..(Im not lieing!)
I didn't see the first pants commercial but I did see the second one. I was like "???? WHAT???" Come on! That is so $tupid!
If he's that nervous about the presentation then he probably #$#$ himself! LOL

And for that diamond commercial...I thought I discussed that allready. It might be on the comm. trend board or recent commercial board...but I know I mentioned it.
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By MarkN on Monday, December 13, 1999 - 02:41 am:

I didn't know that diamond ring was the one you mentioned before, Dan, since I've got a shortterm memory about several things. Too many, in fact, which is why I'm always amazed how much of this or that show's eps people here seem to remember so well. I tend to forget most of them after I've seen them but I'll recall them later on.

Anyway, that guy giving the presentation and being scared as much as he is, well, I can relate to that, since I suffer the most common phobia, speaking in front of a crowd. But he is just an actor, of course, and the ad is so very idiotic.

As for the erectile dysfunction ad, yes, they should have it at a more discreet time. And the word is "lying." (Sorry. Mom used to teach Engish and correcting spelling errors have rubbed off on me. *S*)
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By margie on Monday, December 13, 1999 - 08:03 am:

Those Old Navy commercials are really getting on my nerves. One of the latest ones involves a charades game. When the girl (one of the Mowry twins) guesses right, it causes a blackout?!?!?! They just don't make any sense!
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By Dan R. on Monday, December 13, 1999 - 10:43 pm:

It's ok Mark...I couldn't remember what board I posted it on! ;-) Its on this board a little ways up. I think the weirdest part of the commercial is when the camera shows them going into the bed room, shutting the door and you can still hear the cartoon music playing. Wouldn't that be the wierdest thing to be hearing while having sex??? LOL
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By MarkN on Tuesday, December 14, 1999 - 07:21 am:

How about a separate board for infomercials? I'm watching a doozy of one right now. It's targeted towards kids. One girl went up to the host and hostess (who are both waaaay too overly enthusiastic) and tried some homemade ice cream and of course she just loved it! Now they're teaching kids to be swindlers and BS artists! It's called Kid's Concoctions, and it playing after 4am. Yeah, the kids are really up that early, let alone Mom and Dad, who'd be plenty interested in that. Yeah, sure.
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, December 14, 1999 - 12:44 pm:

Kid's Concoctions? Sounds more like some idiot's concoction. Using kids to swindle...well nothing new...any commercial out there with a kid in it is like swindling...mainly because the child actors act poor and don't act like regular kids.
One commercial I hate is the Cheese commercial where the little girl wakes mommy and daddy and their living room has tons of awesome gifts (new cars, puppies, stereos, etc) and the dad goes "those must have been some cookies you left him!" and the girl goes "I didn't leave him cookies I left him cheese!!!"
UGH! my mom agreed and said its $tupid and that "its gonna get kids thinking they'll get lots of presents if they leave cheese out." and I looked at her and said "exactly" the big faceless *ickheaded companies of this country don't give a darn about reality. They want to plant little ideas in kids heads that "if you do this, Santa will leave you tons of presents!" I hope every CEO in this country gets a visit from the 3 ghosts of Xmas this year!!!
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By margie on Tuesday, December 14, 1999 - 01:43 pm:

How about the Dunkin' Donuts commercial where the kids race down the stairs Christmas morning, right past their parents and the tree, to the donut box. The girl lifts out a donut and says, "It's just what I've always wanted!" OK, then, I'll return all these gifts here in the living room!
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By Dan R. on Tuesday, December 14, 1999 - 07:18 pm:

LOL dang...I never saw that one. That one seems bad enough though..guess I should be glad I haven't seen it. ;-)
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By MarkN on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 06:14 am:

I haven't seen it yet, either. Now, having said that, I'll probably see it on TV about 1,000 times till xmas, if not towards the end of the year. As for kids acting very badly and so phony, well, cutesy kids just drive me nutsoid. Anyone here watch CNN much? I see about an hour or so of it before going to work and they're all showing that PeoplePC ad with the little puppet, er, boy spokesperson. He does a decent enough job, I guess, but what I hate the most is that he says god bless at the end. I don't need a commercial, let alone with a little kid, saying god bless to me.

Another ad I hate is also on CNN, with that guy imitating a standup comic, but without the jokes, talking about the bible. They went from those annoying Power for Living ads to this dude. I don't think religion should be in ads. I don't mean ads that say when a particular religious show is on (though I don't care to see those but that's what the channel buttons are for), but just regular commercials.
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By Dan R. on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 12:46 pm:

I hate those power for living episodes too...but I've always associated religion with the Borg but that's just me...;-) no offense to anyone. ;-)
One bad commercial I have seen is a take on the football player commercials...you know what I mean...normally you see a football player coming on, talking about some disease or disadvantaged kid...now I have seen a new one like those. It has some football dude talking about "how it happens in your community or to someone you love..." and you think they might mean some disease...nope...they are talking about finance or computers or some junk the football player thinks you should know.
Anyone else seen this?
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By Dan R. on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 12:49 pm:

Whoops! Forgot to mention a few more. I HATE Playstation commercials. Crash is so annoying. that new crash game is nothing more than a rip off of Mario Kart (and BTW...notice to Nintendo, Sega, and Playstation: NO MORE STINKING RACE GAMES!!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE PLENTY THANKS!).
But some really dumb ones are any that Crash is in, and that one with the clown and the mall santa. $tupid!
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By Afix on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 01:27 pm:

Dan R. -- I love the design of the clowns in those commercials! Real nightmare material. And the line "I hate mall Santas" is delivered with all the vitriol of a Brunt or a Weyoun.
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By Bob Brehm on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 05:21 pm:

The clown reminds me more of Weyoun than of anything else
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By Dan R. on Thursday, December 16, 1999 - 11:03 pm:

Well the clown is allright...I like the one where they are getting gas. But I hate that santa commercial and just about any santa commercial out there. I remember how he was a jolly fat old man who came around every year and came down my chimney...ah memories...now though...any dang company out there can do what they want to santa...he doesn't give you presents himself anymore...he uses fed ex...he doesn't give regular presents anymore...he gives you Blockbuster gift cards!
(probably delivered by Fed Ex., too! ;-)).
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By MarkN on Friday, December 17, 1999 - 07:33 am:

And now he's pulled by F-16 fighter jets!
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By MarkN on Friday, December 17, 1999 - 07:36 am:

I just now saw another of them Rankin/Bass loolalike ads and it's for UPS.
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By MarkN on Saturday, December 18, 1999 - 10:21 pm:

That Aiwa ad with the nuns on the beach blasting their boombox while they look out onto the ocean. Oh, sure. That happens all the time. And what's the deal with those massive Flying Nun habits, anyway? What's the purpose of them? If they want to have headwear, fine, but why so big? Why not something less obtrusive, like a nurse's hat? The ones they have in that ad could seriously put someone's eye out!
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By Dan R. on Friday, December 24, 1999 - 10:49 pm:

A new one out that I absoultly despise is Chrysler commericials and Lexus commercials...they (the lexus ones) show people getting cars as Xmas presents! Yeah right! Who in the world gives cars as presents??? Besides a car is something you have to shop for for a while and decide what you want in it.
But the Chrysler one is the worst...it shows a cop giving tickets to expired meters...he trys to knock snow off one car to get the tag number and sees its a Chrysler...he then takes his own quarter and feeds the meter! PLEASE! If I was that cop I would have written several tickets! Screw the rich! LOL I believe in wars between the classes! ROFL ;-)
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By MarkN on Saturday, December 25, 1999 - 03:57 am:

Only the rich can afford to give cars as gifts. Now if only I can win the damned lottery! Too bad people are so greedy that those with more money than they deserve (and I don't care what they did to get it) or should have don't share with those of us less fortunate.
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By ScottN on Sunday, December 26, 1999 - 01:03 am:

Of course, if Shaq is your buddy, you get a $5000 Rolex...
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By MarkN on Sunday, December 26, 1999 - 03:46 am:

Oh! The cheapskate!
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By MarkN on Friday, December 31, 1999 - 04:54 am:

Ooh, gooey!
Gooey!
Gooey!
Yes! Gooey cheese!
Gooey!

'Nuff said.
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By Lea Frost on Thursday, January 6, 2000 - 12:26 am:

Bob Brehm -- I see your point about the clown. (That wins him a couple of points in my book... :-) )

Oh, another commercial I can't stand is the ecampus.com ad with the guy belching the alphabet. I really do not need to hear that...

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 8:06 am:

By MarkN on Sunday, January 9, 2000 - 08:59 am:

Those two 10-10-220 ads with Reginald VelJohnson, standing in two college kids' new places; one, of a girl in her new apartment, talking on the phone, and the other of the dude in his dorm room and the amazing thing is that they're both totally obvious to Reggie and the camera crew! Or else they don't mind having them in their respective pads. Yeah, like that'd ever happen in real life. They also both don't tell about it to whomever they're talking to on the phone. Hell, I get nervous enough as it is on cam but to have a camera crew and some tv sitcom actor in my place, talking to the cam about the discount long distance carrier I just happen to be using, would scare the bejeezuz outta me! Or at best tick me off royally and I wouldn't have it. Unless I got pretty good royalties, of course. Hey, I need the money, ok?
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 12:06 am:

Oh, another commercial I can't stand is the ecampus.com ad with the guy belching the alphabet. I really do not need to hear that...

I just saw that one and I have to say it is disgusting. I covered my ears and sang "la la la la la la la la la....." so I would not hear it when it came on. Certainly this company can find ways to advertise that are a little more civilized then this.
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By MarkN on Tuesday, January 11, 2000 - 06:22 am:

How about that new ecampus.com one with the guy talking to his parents on the phone, pretending to be his own kidnapper in order to get his parents to send him 2G's?

Then you've got that "awards show" ad for Jack In The Box, with Jack, of course, winning and unwillingly to leave the stage.
Speaking of JITB, they're again showing that one with the dude in the drive-thru being sarcastic wanting to talk to Jack and the cashier puts him thru to Jack, who just happens to be flying in his Lear jet and the dude's dumb enough to believe it's really him! Ok, it was, but it could've been anyone up there. Still, the ad is totally idiotic, as all fast food ads are.
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By MarkN on Sunday, January 23, 2000 - 04:24 am:

There's a new tv ad for the First Quarters Map, in which for $20, plus $5.99 p&h, they'll send you, over the next 10 years, five newly minted quarters, representing each state, and you get a cheapo cardboard cutout map to put them all in.
Like that's really gonna be a collector's item. The first five quarters are free and they say that they aren't being minted anymore so now's the chance to buy them! The map sure as hell doesn't warrant the overly inflated price. They don't even say whether or not you'll still be charged $20 for all of the 10 years, either, or it if's a one shot deal, which is doubtful.
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By MarkN on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 07:11 am:

There's a radio ad with a sweet sounding woman asking other women if they want to improve their breast size. It's a pretty idiotic ad just from the sound of it. This chick doing the voiceover, well, she just sounds so concerned for the women the ad targets. It's for ISIS. I forget how the whole thing goes but it's pretty laughable for its stupidity. Obviously a man wrote it cuz I sort of doubt any woman would want to (ladies, please prove me right or wrong here), unless she was paid an exorbitant amount.
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By Dan R. on Thursday, March 9, 2000 - 01:08 am:

I just saw an old Amoco Ultimate commerical...it shows a couple at dinner worried about their car..so they call the car sitter... GOD!!!! Do people not realize GAS is GAS?!? Exxon, Amoco, Crown (where I work), etc. They are all the same! The only diffenernce is the PRICE and chemicals they put in the gas that doesn't harm the environment.
Gas is gas...read the fine print of that amoco commercial "For cars that can benifit from Premium..." in other words: OLD JUNKERS! A customer who drives a lock smith van can only put premium in his van cause reg or plus (plus BTW is simply a mix or reg and prem...just so yall now) causes it to sputter...but come on! If you car/van whatever is so bad that it only runs on premium, get it checked out! Gas is gas...why put in 1.67 per gallon premium when 1.49 will work the same?!?
BTW 1.49 is CHEAP in our area...it normally runs for 1.55 - 1.59 for reg in the DC/Balt area.
Don't really know why im posting......too much booze I think! LOL!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEE
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By margie on Friday, March 24, 2000 - 01:41 pm:

There's a commercial on here for a toy store-I think it's Toys R Us. A little girl just got potty trained and gets to pick out any toy she wants. It's a cute idea, but the little girl tells EVERYONE, "I pooped in the potty!"

I know that little children say things like that to strangers, but her mom never tries to quiet her. The little girl repeats it about 10 times in the commercial. Is this commercial about toys or diapers??
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By ScottN on Friday, March 24, 2000 - 01:56 pm:

Not only that, but the mom looks proud that she's telling everyone about it!
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Friday, March 24, 2000 - 11:10 pm:

Jack-in-the-Box keeps showing this commercial in the Baton Rouge area celebrating the return of the franchise to Baton Rouge. Jack walks through what are supposed to be typical Baton Rouge places (not filmed on location), and says how great JITB is. They show this thing every five minutes. I'm sick of it. It's the worst JITB commercial there ever was or ever will be, and frankly, their food ain't that great.
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By George on Wednesday, April 12, 2000 - 06:56 pm:

What about the Microsoft MSN Project commercials? In Day 1, they said they were going to get "everything they need off the Internet." Yeah. I suppose they just so happened to be located in a city that is loaded with online shopping and same-day delivery services. Did Microsoft pay for this house and its bills? How did the house go from this all-white decor in Day 1 to a woodgrain style in Day 3? Are they ordering online, charging everything to Microsoft, or how does that work?

It would seem that the first things they should get immediately would include a phone and a laptop computer. If they had a power outage Day 1, how are they supposed to call the electric company to get it turned back on with no phone? That desktop computer won't be able to help them out, either. How about smoke alarms...or a refrigerator? Like someone would really get a house without a refrigerator, or a stove, or all the other essentials supposedly that would be taken care of by ordering online. Yeah.

Then there was Day 16 (I think), where one of them ran away because of a disagreement with one of the others. Trying to be "The Real World," apparently....

The most recent one I've seen shows them having a table set up outside the house, trying to get people walking down the sidewalk to sign up for MSN. Is this really the best way to promote MSN, or some unconscious acknowledgement that maybe the commercials aren't working, so now they have to solicit this outside their house? (Plus, what does this have to do with ordering everything they need off the Internet?)

Can anyone make sense of these commercials?
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By KAM on Wednesday, April 12, 2000 - 11:13 pm:

Trying to make sense out of commercials??? That way lies madness.

You know you are insane when a perfume commercial makes sense.
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By George on Thursday, April 13, 2000 - 06:41 pm:

Last night I saw a commercial for PowerBar, where a surgeon has this cavalier attitude about losing another patient because he's so tired. Then he takes off his mask and eats a PowerBar right in the operating room! At least in the Weird Al video for "Like A Surgeon," you could tell it was supposed to be a parody.

There's also the Sucrets commercial (I'm not sure how long ago it's been since I've seen it) where this pathetic guy wakes up his wife in the middle of the night because his throat hurts (sounding like a five-year-old or something), begging her to get the Sucrets. Instead of saying, "You woke me up for *that*?", she grudgingly gets up for it.

There's a Visa card commercial where this kid practically has to beg his mother to let him go with her on her business trip so she can spend his birthday together. It looks as if she's leaving him home alone (no father, babysitters, grandparents. etc. are either mentioned or shown to explain who's going to be watching this kid)! Apparently clueless about how upset her son is for being left behind (supposedly the picture he drew of himself tearfully waving "Bye, Mommy" at the departing plane wasn't obvious enough), she promises to buy him a bike or a video game to make it up to him. Did she really think that would solve the problem? Wouldn't he remember her leaving on a business trip on his birthday, rather than a bike or a video game? And finally, if all it took was using a Visa card to make it possible for the kid to go, why didn't she just do that in the first place?
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By George on Thursday, April 13, 2000 - 06:56 pm:

Ameritrade has a commercial with a red-haired guy (some of his hair dyed pink), Stuart, wearing long sideburns, apparently making a copy of his face on the copy machine during company time. Although Stuart's company requires him to wear a shirt and tie, they let him do whatever he wants with his hair (which doesn't seem the case with his co-workers, necessarily). Rather than reprimanding Stuart for a dress code violation regarding his hair, and his behavior with the copy machine, his boss, Mr. P, asks him for advice about using Ameritrade. Is Stuart allowed to do whatever with his hair and the copy machine just because he's familiar with Ameritrade? Would a dress code be more lenient on one's hair than one's clothes?

The latest psychic commercials I've seen begin with a bunch of quotes made to look like movie quotes. ("They finally got it right!" Yeah, how?) At the bottom of the screen it says "dramatization." So the "good reviews" are a dramatization! One woman who seems to be the host of these commercials and Tarot card commercials (I think her name is Bo or Beau or something) seems to be making a career of these, yet in one of them, a psychic tells her that she has a talk show in her future. How impressive would this job make the resume look? Finally, these commercials air at night on The Weather Channel! (What kind of message is TWC trying to send here?)

There used to be a commercial with Barbara Mandrell in it, talking about the "Visa Freedom Fabric." It seems hard to believe that they wouldn't have heard of Visa credit cards, and that maybe a copyright infringement lawsuit might be a possibility.
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By Spornan on Thursday, April 13, 2000 - 11:58 pm:

I always figured in that Ameritrade commercial, that Stuart was a special consultant. It was a goof on how the young "hipsters" are doing all the executive stuff now, because of things like Ameritrade.

What about the new Old Navy commercial? I'm really getting sick of these things. And Having Lisa Ling from "The View" sure doesn't help me with that.
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By MarkN on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 06:47 am:

Speaking of Microsoft, has anyone seen that sorry excuse for an ad with Bill Gates? He's talking about starting his company 25 years ago with some friends that he doesn't mention by name. Gee, could he possibly mean Steve Jobs perhaps? I've only seen it once so I don't remember just what all he says but it's pretty stup¡d. If it's on a tape that I've taped some shows on I just skip over it, but I do that with commercials anyway.

BTW, a word of warning if any of you want to buy a Microsoft game controller (I'd gotten their Sidewinder Precision Pro joystick last Sunday). If you have Norton's antivirus then you'll have incompatibility problems with the game controller. I called Microsoft and found that out so I had to totally uninstall the antivirus, which I reluctantly did, and now my puter's at risk (till I get a new antivirus later today), but hey, the joystick works just great! Also know that even with all the billions Microsoft brings in they're still too cheap to have a tollfree number, let alone a 24-hour one! Not only that, but you have to call during peaktime, when it's most expensive! Since they're located in Seattle you can call them from 6am-6pm, Mon-Fri.
I guess one good thing to come out of this is that I discovered that Norton's has a brand new antivirus, their Internet Security Antivirus, which is said to fight cookies and hackers. You can check it out at Symantec's page.
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By ScottN on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 11:40 am:

Gee, could he possibly mean Steve Jobs perhaps?

No, he doesn't mean Steve Jobs. He means Paul Allen and Steve Ballmer.

Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak were Apple.
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By Mark Bowman on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 11:53 am:

But psychics can make some accurate predictions :0

Frequent caller: What is my future?
Psychic: I predict you will have some finacial woes in the near future.

see?
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By Spornan, who has an odd interest in God-like beings helping Rockefeller. on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 01:54 pm:

Maybe MarkN meant that Microsoft was started in part by Jobs, when Microsoft took the Windows OS from Apple.

Or maybe Steve Jobs is an Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent entity that helps all people everywhere in making their own multi-billion dollar businesses. I'll bet that Steve Jobs had a part in that whole Rockefeller nonsense.
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By ScottN on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 01:58 pm:

Of course, MS actually existed before windows (like 1975), Spornan, but nice try J.
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By Spornan on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 05:40 pm:

Darn. Foiled again.

Unless you believe my "Steve Jobs as all powerful being" idea.
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By ScottN on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 11:29 am:

Priceline.com is parodying itself! I heard a plug on todays "Osgood File" (sponsored by Priceline.com) to the effect of "Even if you don't like William Shatner's singing, you have to like being able to name your own price..." (Note: wording may vary).
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By trevor on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 12:45 pm:

there are plenty of bad commercials out there, i dont need to get into that. i do have a beef with the legal diclaimers that must accompany *every* spot that i might find funny, thereby ruining the moment.
an example:
the mountain dew guy overtakes a sprinting cheetah on his mountain bike, leaps on the cat and jams his arm down its throat to get his can back. did you ever notice the "dramatization" disclaimer on the bottom? gee, i thought that the guy really caught a cheetah on his bike and really put his arm down its gullet! thanks for clearing that one up. i almost went out there and tried to catch a cheetah on my bike, oh wait, cheetahs can do 70mph and there isnt a cheetah on the loose within 20 000 miles of me, oh well.(end rant)
i despise the legal idiots that invented these disclaimers for my protection (or for theirs). even worse, i despise the regular brand of idiots that have forced them to put these disclaimers in place.
tb
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By Spornan on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 02:27 pm:

I actually like the Priceline commercials. I always thought it was William Shatner's way of making fun of himself.

"Raindrops keep falling on my head"

Remember?
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By ScottN on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 04:29 pm:

That was on "The Critic".
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By ScottN, showing off his immense trivial TV knowledge on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 04:30 pm:

Along with Beavis & Butthead and Captain Picard.
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By Captain Picard, in Star Trek: The X Generation on Monday, April 17, 2000 - 05:29 pm:

Who wrote "Beavis and Butt-Head rule" on the back of my skull?!?!?!
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By MarkN on Tuesday, April 18, 2000 - 07:13 am:

I find it in very bad taste that Alta Vista.com is using Incredible Hulk footage with the late Bill Bixby in an unfunny joke about searching for stress management. It might've actually been a little funny were Bixby still alive and well.
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By Len on Tuesday, April 18, 2000 - 12:40 pm:

::i do have a beef with the legal diclaimers that must accompany *every* spot that i might find funny, thereby ruining the moment. . . . i despise the legal idiots that invented these disclaimers for my protection (or for theirs). even worse, i despise the regular brand of idiots that have forced them to put these disclaimers in place. tb ::Trevor

Well, I can see why you despise the regular idiots who have forced the necessity of these disclaimers through ridiculous lawsuits, but why blame the lawyers who are merely protecting honest decent businessfolk FROM those idiots??? Sort of like blaming the bearer of bad news for the news.
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By Allegra on Wednesday, April 19, 2000 - 12:51 am:

I listen to radio way more than I watch TV. and the Blue diamond almond folks have this spot where they are singing "all we ask is one can a week".....(insert random musical notes)
It's like they are begging us to buy nuts. I love hickory smoke almonds, but they are expensive and heavy on the calories.
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By MarkN on Thursday, April 20, 2000 - 04:40 am:

Yeah, Allegra. I hate it when ads "ask" (which is a not-so-subtle form of subconscious manipulation) or more like demand us to use their products a lot more than we really need to, like those ads for one-day or one-week contacts, which can actually be used for up to a month or so, and some of them, or all are, made by the same company but marketed under different names and prices. Bausch & Lomb are known for that, unless they've stopped that practice.

Another Alta Vista ad has Janet Leigh and the late Tony Perkins in some Pyscho footage. Is this their new campaign, to use dead actors, perhaps to save some money? More bad taste! Shame on Alta Vista!
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By Al Fix on Monday, April 24, 2000 - 11:21 am:

I just saw a Pop-Tarts commercial that had Jimi Hendrix's Star-Spangled Banner (or a very close recreation) playing in the background. There is so much wrong with that I just can't believe it, both with sacrilege to the artist and the tune. I remember when just wearing an American Flag on a jean jacket could get you assaulted.
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Monday, April 24, 2000 - 10:11 pm:

I cant remember which one it was but I saw an ad for a car and they driver is showing it off to the passenger and at the end the passenger goes to press a button and the driver says it the ejection button and then at the bottom of the screen it says "ejection button not standard" . It ruins the joke.
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By Spornan on Monday, April 24, 2000 - 11:49 pm:

I've been getting sick of the fine print "jokes" in car commercials lately. The KIA commercials do that a lot. "No parking space is this important. Ok, maybe it is, but don't do it anyway"

The "ejection button not standard" one doesn't even sound like it was meant to be a joke. Companies have to put such idiotic disclaimers on products because there is always one dolt who makes a big fuss about it.
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By KAM on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 03:00 am:

The Batman OnStar commercials. *ug*

(Time Warner executive: Yes. Let's trash Batman's reputation just to line our pockets with even more money.)
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By Spornan on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 08:39 am:

I think they already did that KAM. It was called "Batman And Robin" the movie.
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By trevor on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 01:50 pm:

len:
re: why i despise the lawyers.
its simple. behind every hot coffe spilling, banana peel slipping, irrepairable emotional damage suffering doofus out there today is an ambulance chasing lawyer waving around the lawsuit papers. it used to be that if you tried something foolish and got hurt doing it (lord knows i did enough of that!) then you were responsible for the consequences. most of us would pick up and brush off and say " gee! i guess i wont try THAT again" nowadays some people look at an incident like that as hitting the lottery or something, because they can sue the pants off of someone for failing to protect them from their own stupidity.
personally, i think that this ridiculous lack of accountability in todays darwin proof society is the cause of so mant of our problems. (end second rant)
tb
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By Dan R. on Friday, May 5, 2000 - 04:03 pm:

You make it sound that every lawyer is bad and every lawsuit with someone suing someone is horrible.
Obviously my dear trevor, you have never needed a lawyer. I am currently in a lawsuit against my former employee. I worked my ass off to help him out when he took over the business from the old owner...how does he repay me? By accusing me of credit card freud (a customer used a stolen card and he blames me for it, thinking I did it), firing me, and dragging my name through the mud. I will make him pay big bucks for what he did to me. He thought I was just another teenager who didnt know the law. Its time he and other bosses know not to SCREW their best employees like that. I was unemployed for 4 months...each month I got worse and worse. My life was a living hell. No one would hire me (who would when they find out you were accused of something like that?), and by the time Xmas was rolling around and the rest of my family was talking about what to get everyone else for Xmas, I realized: I can't afford to buy a single thing for anyone! I was seriously considering ending it all about a week before Xmas. So dont think that everyone who sues someone is all ignorant or whatever. That seems to be the whole point of your post. I sure hope its not that.
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By KAM on Saturday, May 6, 2000 - 12:45 am:

Actually Spornan, they did it earlier than that (Remember Twinkies ads featuring Batman & other DC heroes?), but this one ticked me off enough to comment on it.

Dan R., I think if you reread trevor's post you'll see that he's specifically referring to incidents where people are suing for doing something stup¡d and blaming the company, and the lawyers who take those cases.
("I had a bad case of ear wax and there was nothing on my drill motor that said that I couldn't use it to clean out my ears...")

Good luck in nailing your boss' hide to the wall. People like that deserve to be punished.

The File America commercials. They feature this idiot who says that his wife won't let him back in the house until he pays his state income tax, and other items, including federal taxes & a business license. Sheesh! If you're not paying your taxes, and running a business without a license, staying out of the big house (prison) would be a bigger problem. Oddly enough the moronic announcer starts to say, "You're wife sounds like a real..." then he gets distracted by how pretty she is. Maybe the IRS should examine the tax records of the writer(s) of this spot since they seem to think that paying taxes is a real inconvenience.

One additional nit is that at the beginning the man says his wife, but one of the papers he hasn't filled out is a marriage license. If she is his wife, then why does he need to file a marriage license?
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By Len on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 09:29 am:

::why i despise the lawyers.
nowadays some people look at an incident like that as hitting the lottery or something, because they can sue the pants off of someone for failing to protect them from their own stupidity. personally, i think that this ridiculous lack of accountability in todays darwin proof society is the cause of so mant of our problems. (end second rant) trevorb ::

You're totally missing my point Trevor- I wasn't defending stupi d lawsuits, I was just pointing out that the people to BLAME for the stupi d lawsuits are the people who BRING the stupi d lawsuits, not the lawyers they USE to bring these lawsuits. As you said, people should be ACCOUNTABLE for their actions. Blaming the lawyers is another way of shifting accountability away from the true culprit (i.e. you're saying "Why blame the moron who burnt his hand on the coffee when we can blame the lawyer he hired?").
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By ScottN on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 11:34 am:

But doesn't the lawyer have an ETHICAL responsibilty to point out it's a frivolous suit? Or perhaps the lawyers who file these suits are ambulance chasing shysters?
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 11:59 am:

Yes they have a responsibility and Yes a lot of them are shysters.

Almost any type of trailer for an episode of an TV show is a bad comerical. Why? Because the people that make these are often idiots who seem to think it's okay to use lie's in order to get viewers.
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By ScottN on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 01:31 pm:

Hence, the standard glossary item: PAL - Previews Always Lie.
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By len on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 01:40 pm:

You're still avoiding the central question? Who is RESPONSIBLE? The lawyers "file the suits" only to the extent that clients INSTRUCT them too.

And what IS a "frivilous" suit anyway??? The McDonald's coffee suit was not a "frivilous" suit from the point of view that it was a loser. IT was a moronic incident because (1) a moron decided he was owed money for his own stupidity and (2) a jury of morons agreed with him. Of course it's a lot easier to blame big bad lawyers than those morons.
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By ScottN on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 02:39 pm:

OK, Len, Maybe if there are no Trekouplets (see my latest doggerel), I'll hire a lawyer and sue! J
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By afix moderator on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 04:27 pm:

(the lawyer debate is closed here -- there may be another spot on the board for that discussion).
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By len on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 05:00 pm:

Ok...and hopefully we'll take the trekouplet debate with it!! (soon...sooon.....soooon.....)
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By D.W. March on Monday, May 8, 2000 - 05:32 pm:

One commercial I found seriously offensive was for Mars bars or something like that. A guy on a bike goes into a tunnel and gets squashed by a truck. They show this again, but this time he stops outside and eats his Mars bar. The truck whizzes by.
But the reason why I found this commercial so offensive was the timing- it started showing around the same time Princess Diana also got squashed in a tunnel. I thought that perhaps out of respect for the Princess, companies would stop showing the popular line of "people getting killed in tunnels" commercials but I guess I was wrong.

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 8:11 am:

By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 02:47 pm:

I just saw one for pepsi that sent shivers down my spine.

It starts of with a bunch of federation ships attacking a borg cube, they are getting pounded. Suddenly a can of pepsi materializes on the borg cube right beside the queen. The borg ship suddely stops attacking and on each federation ship cans of peps materialize. Suddenly several dead ensign no names are alive and well with no injuries and everyone starts to sing the "joy of pepsi" song. They are hailed by the borg cube and the collective voice is singing it as well.
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By Cornpone on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 03:12 pm:

Voyager: Season Five: Think Tank
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By Cornpone on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 - 02:31 pm:

Does anyone understand the Visa Check Card commercial with Jason Alexander (from "Seinfeld' and this episode)? It starts with him and a woman seemingly at the end of a date and they are exchanging good-byes. Exact dialogue is something like: "I had fun." (both) "So, I'll call you" (him) "OK" (her) "Bye" (both). Then, he says "Hey" and tells her that next time he will bring enough cash for both of them. He then goes to the movie ticket booth and buys tickets (two?). My questions: Were they are on a date and she paid for dinner (or something) because he told her he didn't have any cash on him? Why not use his card to pay for the movie tickets for both of them (since it looks like he bought two)? I just don't "get" this commercial.
What is the joke? Am I missing something?
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By Anonymous on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 - 03:14 pm:

I believe the gag is supposed to be that she had to pay for her own ticket when they saw the movie together. He pretended he didn't bring enough money for two tickets, when he knew all along that he could have used his Visa Card, but was too cheap to actually do so.
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By eb on Wednesday, May 17, 2000 - 03:20 pm:

My take on this was -- it's not just her own ticket she bought -- he even makes her pay for his ticket by pretending to be broke. Then, to add insult to injury, he does not ask her out again when they part. All the while, he knows he could have charged the tickets to VISA but like George Costanza is too cheap.

If only we lived in a moneyless economy like Star Trek these embarrassing social interactions would never occur.
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By len on Thursday, May 18, 2000 - 12:52 pm:

Actually, MY recollection of the commercial is that he ONLY has enough cash for 1 ticket- so of course, selfish-George-Costanza-type that he is, he buys the ticket for himself and gives his date the boot. The commercial then tells you that if you have a VISA card, you won't be stuck in a situation like this b/c you'll always be able to buy what you need.
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By margie on Thursday, May 18, 2000 - 01:26 pm:

However, at the end of the commercial, he's sitting in the theater with a giant tub of popcorn and a large soda. Knowing how expensive movie theater food can be, he could have used some of that money to but the girl a ticket instead of feeding himself!
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By Len on Thursday, May 18, 2000 - 03:16 pm:

Typical Costanza move!
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By Cornpone on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 10:35 am:

Thanks to Anonymous, eb, Len, and Margie for answering my post. I posted this also to the Commercials board and got NO responses. So, I thought I would try this board even though I knew someone might object since my query is not Star Trek-related. However, eb did manage to tie it back to ST with its "moneyless economy" (which they will never attempt to explain since the whole concept is impossible). I still think the whole commercial is vague. If they had just seen the movie (which she paid for both tickets), I don't "get" the "I had fun" line. After all, isn't the whole point of a date to get to know the other person and you can't really talk in a movie theater (or, at least, you shouldn't). Was the movie that good that "George" wanted to see it again? As a "Seinfeld" fan, I have to disagree with Len's last post. I think a "typical Costanza move" would have been to wait until she left and THEN he would have bought his ticket. Of course, later on (if this was a "Seinfeld" episode), she would have found out and would have been mad at him. Margie, I also had wondered about him "sitting in the theater with a giant tub of popcorn and a large soda" when "he could have used some of that money to buy the girl a ticket instead of feeding himself". Maybe, the reason this commercial is so odd is that this "George Costanza-like" character is actually the alien "Think Tank" guy. His solution to his predicament at the end of this episode was to alter his appearance to look human and to go back in time in order to hide from his enemies. Unfortunately, he learned human behavior from "Seinfeld" reruns so he thought George Costanza was a good role model.
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By Anonymous on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 11:14 am:

Perhaps it was a cinema googleplex where he could see another mindless first-run feature film. Also, some people think seeing a film together (or watching television) is, in fact, interaction.
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By Dan R. on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 03:51 pm:

Cornpone's back again? The one that polluted the BTTF board.
Chris, Is that your final answer? You are correct sir! You won a million dollars! :-)
BTW, dear lord I hope you are joking about that pepsi commercials...it sounds horrible...please dear lord make it be a joke.
;-)
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By Chris Booton (Cbooton) on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 06:31 pm:

Yes it is a joke. I suddenly got the image of it inmy mind today and decided to post it to see people's reaction. Just imagining such a comerical sends shivers down my pine, but I wouldent put it past them to make one like that.
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By Dan R. on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 07:11 pm:

oh thank god. Whew. Ug that would be horrible. I can just picture them shooting a commercial like that too but please, dear god NO!
;-)
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By Jason on Friday, May 19, 2000 - 09:26 pm:

Whew! If you were serious, I would personally torch both Paramount and Pepsi for that.
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By afix on Saturday, May 20, 2000 - 09:08 pm:

Well, they DID do one with Darth Vader and the Energizer bunny..............
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By Jason on Sunday, May 21, 2000 - 08:14 pm:

Has anyone seen the Pepsi commercial with KISS? I think I just lost all faith in Pepsi.
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By The Shadow on Sunday, May 21, 2000 - 10:55 pm:

I lost that years ago when they released Diet Pepsi. Yeccch! Gives all liquids a bad reputation.
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By Mr Blu on Monday, May 22, 2000 - 03:55 am:

Crystal Pepsi!!!!!!!!!!! man, sure ruined That song By Van Halen. Right now
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By Brian Webber on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 01:13 am:

I can't drink NON-diet Pepsi! regular Pepsi makes me ill.
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By ScottN on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 02:36 am:

Me too, Brian... I saw some "Only in America..." jokes, and one of them is "Only in America.... do they order a double cheeseburger.... and a diet soda".

I do it because regular Pepsi/CocaCola (both of them) are too sweet for me.
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By Jason on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 09:17 am:

Hey! I liked Crystal Pepsi. I might have been the only person in the world who liked it, but I liked it.
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By afix on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 10:08 am:

ScottN -- Me too! I'm not fooling myself by trying to "save calories" when buying a Diet Coke with a Big Mac. I just like it better than regular Coke. The only sugary drinks I do like are Mountain Dew (for the jolt), and Dr. Pepper.

Can anyone else attest to the addictive qualities of Diet Coke?
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By ScottN on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 10:54 am:

Actually, I like DietPepsi slightly better than Diet Coke. It's got a tad more bite.
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By Allegra on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 11:00 am:

Seconded...I go to great lengths to procure and hoard diet Pepsi or Diet coke when I'm "in the field" during Guard drills...everyone else drinks coffee...I have my diet cola.
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 04:16 pm:

I liked Crystal Pepsi too.

I really can't stand diet drinks. What really gets me is when people will get caffeine-free diet drinks. If you don't want the sugar or caffeine, why don't you just drink water and actually do something for your heath?
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By The Shadow on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 04:33 pm:

Definitely! All those diet drinks are really not much more than water and chemicals. BTW, I read that most colas just increase the need for water in your body, so it's just not worth it if you've run a couple blocks down to the McDonalds.

I loved Crystal Pepsi. I suppose that is one of the major reasons so many people think I'm weird.
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By The Shadow on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 04:36 pm:

Of course, a guy I know chugs Jolt Cola (twice the caffeine and sugar) on a regular basis and doesn't appear abnormal, except for the facial tics.
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By Mirror Riker on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 09:09 pm:

My vote for the newest worst commercial currently playing. The bad Andy Domino's pizza commercial.
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By Matt Pesti on Thursday, June 1, 2000 - 01:18 am:

more Truth Nitpicking.

The Teenager Response Commercial.
They do realize "Pretty Big Coincidence" is not considered proof.

Uh, BTW they do realize the Surgion's Generals warning says "This is bad, Very Bad". Some big Conspiracy.

So who does pay for these, And why do I think it's the Beer people.
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By Luiner on Sunday, June 4, 2000 - 08:01 am:

Is it just me or is that Domino's bad Andy look suspicially like that Eric muppet from the European Levi's commercials?

I've been smoking since I was a teenager. It wasn't because the cigarette makers were making advertisements to my age (at least back in the seventies they weren't, I can't say about the ztupid Joe Camel ads of the eighties and nineties). I smoke because a lot of people I hung out with smoke. A lot of our parents smoke. And we all knew it was bad for our health. But when you are sixteen, you can't possibly imagine that one day you may die. We were immortal back then.

My least favourite commercial. Pets.com commercials. Obvious ripoff of the Conan O'Brien's Triumph the Insult Comic Dog puppet. And Pets.com had the audacity of suing Conan O'Brien's show and NBC because Triumph said they were a rip off.
Strangely, I've not seen any Pets.com commercials recently, and Conan has had a field day making fun of the lawsuit.
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By MarkN on Monday, June 5, 2000 - 03:11 am:

Back to the diet cola thing for a moment, I've tried Diet Dr. Pepper, and as much false advertising there is out there at least it's true what their ads say, that Diet Dr. P tastes pretty close to the original, unlike Diets Coke (puke!) or Pepsi. Of course, I've only tried it once or twice sometime ago so maybe it doesn't taste as good now, I dunno.

One pretty bad ad is another one of those insipid Herbal Essence ones, with the beautiful woman (as if only beautiful women use it) out in the sandy desert. She opens her canteen, pours water out, shampoos her hair, washes it, and goes on her way.
Yeah, like that would happen in real life. She'd risk wasting the only thing she's got that could mean life or death out in the desert just to wash her hair, which didn't look like it needed washing in the first place? I very seriously doubt even the most conceited woman would put her life ahead of her hair. And what the hell was she doing out in the desert in the first place, anyway? Not only that but she looks so-o-o happy to be there, too! A sad irony seems to be that only the stup¡d ads are the ones we remember best (or is that worst?).
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By MarkN on Monday, June 5, 2000 - 03:18 am:

Oh, and can we please stop with those stup¡d, phony psychic phoneline ads? The so-called psychics and "callers" are so overtly obvious fakes, their lines are so very badly written and delivered that I'd find it very surprising if anyone takes them seriously at all. I'll never waste my money calling one of those lines and if I did then I'd just make up stuff to see how the psychic reacts to it, cuz you know they only go by what you say, to tell you what they think you want to hear. Besides, these ads look like clips from some psychic talk shows, but there aren't any, so that also reinforces the fact that these ads are fakes. I don't care, either, if they're "for entertainment purposes only." There are better, more satisfying forms of entertainment to waste good money on.

By Reposted Nits on Sunday, June 30, 2002 - 8:15 am:

By MarkN on Monday, June 5, 2000 - 03:30 am:

Here's a little piece of trivia for you. The Round Table Pizza ad where the delivery guy takes a pizza up a very long flight of steps to the Mob-like figure who calls him a kaboosh was filmed on the exact same steps as shown in, and was first made famous by, the Laurel and Hardy talkie short, "Music Box," in which they haul a piano up those stairs.
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By MarkN on Monday, June 5, 2000 - 03:31 am:

That talkie short was in 1932, btw.
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By ScottN on Monday, June 5, 2000 - 11:56 am:

Re: The psychic hot lines...

I'm always tempted to call one of them up, and when they ask me anything, to tell them, "You're the psychic, you tell me!"
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By Matthew Patterson (Mpatterson) on Monday, June 5, 2000 - 05:05 pm:

They actually called me once. I'm serious! "Hi, I'm Vanessa and I'm with the Psychic Friends. How was your day today?"
"Well, you should already know. Since no information that either of us doesn't already know can be shared in this conversation, goodbye."
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By MarkN on Tuesday, June 6, 2000 - 07:18 am:

Matthew, you're kidding! That's so cool! LOL Is that really all you two said to each other? How did they get your number?
Probably a telemarketer, huh? Did they ever find out how old you were? Oh, wait. They're psychic. They should've already known that. *S*

Maybe if I was well-off I'd try one of those lines but I dunno. I'm afraid if I tried fooling them that I might burst out laughing and blowing the whole thing.
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By Tom Kun on Wednesday, June 7, 2000 - 06:26 pm:

Two words: Herbal Essences.
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By Tom Kun on Wednesday, June 7, 2000 - 06:28 pm:

Looking back I see someone already mentioned Herbal Essences. But the one I had in mind was the one set in the courtroom.
That one is 10x worse than all the other ads for that product.
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By Anonymous Coward on Wednesday, June 7, 2000 - 07:30 pm:

Tom:

Oh yes, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!
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By Allegra on Thursday, June 8, 2000 - 02:46 pm:

the Gap commercials are pretty annoying....
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By MarkN on Saturday, June 10, 2000 - 04:00 am:

Has anyone seen the ads for those two mounted bass? I've only seen them once, on the same night, on CMT. One's called Louie, the Big Mouthed Bass, or somesuch, and I forget the other one's name but they're both essentially the same product: a plastic bass whose head turns either to the left (Louie) or the right (the other one), and their mouths move to music that's in a chip inside the fish or something, I'm not sure. They're the latest in fine white trash products, and somewhat reminiscent of the dancing Coke cans. And, of course, the people in the ads are just so completely ecstatic over the fish, spending loads of funfilled hours enjoying them. If you go inside someone's trailer, don't be surprised if you see one of these wonderful items hanging on their wall or on top of a formica table.
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By MarkN on Saturday, June 10, 2000 - 04:13 am:

There's also that Bugles chips ad with the dork floating on (one's meant to assume) some ocean in a big inner tube, when a beautiful mermaid swims up to him. He figues out she wants to share his chips, he looks inside his bag (didja ever notice that chip bags are always perfectly opened in tv ads, with no wrinkles, but they never are in real life?) and not only aren't there any chips left but there aren't any crumbs left, either! Not even one!
And nevermind that a beautiful woman, mermaid or human, would ever bother with such a dorky-looking guy in the first place. Can you say false advertising? I knew you could.
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By Ben Cohen on Sunday, June 11, 2000 - 01:43 am:

Looking back I see someone already mentioned Herbal Essences. But the one I had in mind was the one set in the courtroom.
That one is 10x worse than all the other ads for that product.

The thing that really gets me about that commercial is the fact that it's next to impossible to understand what Dr. Ruth says at the end of it.

I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned these ads that Nike is putting out with "Mrs. Jones". Those are pretty annoying.

Oh, and those promos for the new Invisible Man series that the Scifi Channel is bombarding us with really get my goat. Not because they're bad commercials, but because the Scifi Channel did literally nothing to advertise the now late great Good vs Evil.
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By MarkN on Sunday, June 11, 2000 - 02:32 am:

We only get Sci-Fi if we subscribe to the digital system. I get basic cable. I've only seen it once last June, in a San Diego motel, where my brother and I stayed during the few days we were there for his marriage.
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By Nawdle on Sunday, June 11, 2000 - 01:33 pm:

The other one's called "Boogie Bass" MarkN. I had the misfortune of seeing part of it yesterday. I changed the channel.
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By Meg on Sunday, June 11, 2000 - 08:36 pm:

Back on pepsi

I did like crystal pepsi. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I am addicted to Pepsi one. My mom started to get them and now I must have one all the time.

If I sue pepsi, do you think that I might get a big settlement like those people who sued the tobacco companies?

Oh, and the Hearbal essesnce shampoo. I can't stand those comercials. Esp. the courtroom one. When those comeercials some on, I leave the room.
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By Tom Kun on Tuesday, June 13, 2000 - 04:58 pm:

This is actually a local thing, and I haven't seen one in a long while, but I really couldn't stand those ads that Radio Disney was putting on the TV. Not just because they were promoting Britney Spears and N'Sync concerts, but because when they were through they would end the commercial by saying "Concerts that rock!" Talk about false advertising!
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By Anonymous on Tuesday, June 20, 2000 - 01:06 pm:

How about the Discovery.com commercials? They have some guys dressed up like mosquitoes ("Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!" etc.), fish, meteors, or something, and they talk about Discovery.com's website. The fish costumes don't even try to conceal the actors' faces. As if mosquitoes, meteors, and fish would really care about a website. And how would a meteor have a pet dog? The editing in the "mosquitoes" one looks a little choppy, too. I'm not complaining about the website, I'm just wondering if there's a better way to get the message across.

Dodge Different commercials, in which every vehicle is red. The latest ones talk about how you can save money on every model...except the Viper. Is this some reverse-psychology method to increase demand for the Viper without them feeling or being obligated to offer any discounts on it?

Animal Planet sometimes shows commercials for the Bel-Rea Institute (not sure of the exact name), which has these two guys who are supposed to be acting (but not at all dressed like) like frogs. Perhaps they were trying to do something Budweiser-eqsue, but were on a budget?

As for the MSN commercials, I saw the one again where they have this computer set up in the front yard, but the guy (I think his name is Mike) just can't get anyone to be interested. It almost looks like some of the shingles are starting to peel off the roof in the background. Maybe they should have that checked out first.

There was another MSN commercial that showed this other guy activating the yard's sprinkler system underneath the guy trying to get people off the sidewalk to subscribe to MSN. Yeah, let's spray water on some guy who's near some computer equipment that's plugged in and running.... And the potential customers act like they don't even notice what's going on. Sure.
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By Keith Alan Morgan (Kmorgan) on Wednesday, June 21, 2000 - 11:26 pm:

The one with Sparky, the office cheerleader. A phrase from the Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy comes to mind. "First against the wall when the revolution comes." One scene however implies that this whole happy happy personality is just an act and it's only a matter of time before she uses a gun barrel as a chew toy.
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By ScottN on Thursday, June 22, 2000 - 10:49 am:

I hate those Washington Mutual ads. Yeah, like any kid would love to get the Washington Mutual Loan Officer Action Figure...
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By ScottN on Thursday, June 22, 2000 - 10:50 am:

Though I must admit I enjoyed seeing Regis get his comeuppance in that other one.
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By Keith Alan Morgan (Kmorgan) on Saturday, July 1, 2000 - 01:28 am:

Coinstar. This is truly annoying. Especially the tagline, "Turn your change into something useful." It is already useful, IT'S MONEY! You can actually spend change in stores and buy stuff with it. Although the spot makes it sound like you're recycling aluminum cans. Also, they skip the fact that they charge you a percentage of the money you put in.

Is it really so hard to count out change and put them in those little packs? Tedious, maybe, but hey, you can do it while watching TV. No brainer. I hope Coinstar bites the big one and goes out of business.
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By Dan R. on Saturday, July 1, 2000 - 10:45 am:

Not. Coinstar is a huge help. When I was unemployed for a few months I had a bucket load of change and I needed cash. Also rolled coins? Dont even think it...More places are denying rolled coins because of counterfiet rolls. Coinstar is great and saves businesses time and money.
You wont believe how many idiots I get coming in thinking they can pay with rolled coins...
#1 we have a safe that dispenses rolls from the bank that are guarenteed to be have the full amount in them...we dont need your rolls...go to a bank not a gas station
#2...we are not gonna let you count out a bunch of loose change so you can pay gas...customers have no right to tie up the line and cause others to wait for long periods so you can get rid of your loose change...
ug...anyways...customers $uck...ive had a long night...20 hours...so im a bit bitter about coins right now.
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By MSanders on Sunday, July 2, 2000 - 06:43 am:

The Sherwin Williams commercials are rather annoying--the woman who's singing the music sounds like she's either half asleep, on tranquilizers, or both. "Ask Sherwin Williams"? Yeah, ask Sherwin Williams why they can't have their spokesperson singer completely wake up before singing.
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By Keith Alan Morgan (Kmorgan) on Tuesday, July 4, 2000 - 02:32 am:

The thing I hate about the 'Truth' commercials, is the brain dead questions.

These questions are supposedly written by either smokers or people who are on the fence about smoking, but they are really slanted so the doofus can give the message they want to get across.

It wouldn't surprise me if those questions were written by the ad writer.