Peter.
The Avengers
Mrs. Peel: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Steed: To sell government secrets.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from all those annoying jokes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He didn't.
(Yes this is not funny at all.Only thing I could think of.)
Why did the Romans cross the road?
They didn't like where it was leading the people
"What is a chicken?"
"An Earth beast famous for crossing roads."
Doctor's Orders, p. 128.
Star Trek
Why did the Borg chicken cross the road?
To assimilate the other side
Why did the Vorta chicken cross the road?
Because the Founders ordered it
Why did the Klingon chicken cross the road?
It was a good day to cross!
Why did the Starfleet chicken cross the road?
It was boldly going where no chicken had gone before
Why did the Ferengi chicken cross the Brooklyn Bridge?
To sell it to tourists on the other side
Star Wars
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the dark side
Red Dwarf
Why did the mechanoid chicken cross the road?
To clean the other side
Why did the chicken run across the road?
To get away from Lister and his curry sauce
Why did the chicken cross the road?
(from a kid who always screws up a joke)
To get away from Burger King!
Why did the spider cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side!!!!
Jason runs and hides from all the other nitpickers who start throwing things at him for that joke. Things like: tomatoes, watermelons, pieces of furniture, cars, and small planets.
Why did the Vulcan chicken cross the road?
It had a logical reason to do so.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get Jason.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Who are you calling rotten, ya bum.
Here's what happens when you ask that question to Tolkien fans...
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Fan A: Because it couldn't fly.
Fan B: How do we know it couldn't fly? It had wings.
Fan A: No it didn't! It was just a shadow that looked like wings.
Fan B: No, the book specifically says "its wings stretched out like a shadow."
Fan A: Doesn't matter. If you read the History of Middle-earth, I think it's pretty clear that Tolkien intended his chickens to be wingless.
Fan C: Does it say anywhere that the chicken walked across the road? I mean, all it says is that it crossed the road. It could have flown across.
Fan B: What about the chicken at the sack of Gondolin? Didn't he fly? I don't have my copy of the Silm at hand to double-check, but I think it did.
Fan D: Argh, not the •••••• chicken wing debate again...
Florida: 47 chickens crossed the road.
Gore's lawyers: We demand a recount! Look at all the flattened & splattered chickens on the road! Obviously their intent was to cross the road & they should be counted as well!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To keep it's head from being fried, of course.
Why did the Frank chicken cross the road?
To spread the conspiracy
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from hearing anymore lame "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" jokes.
Runs for the hills where all the chickens that have ever crossed the road now reside in a safe location.
"Why did the Wiccan cross the road" is a better question.
Peter.
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD:
LAVERNE & SHIRLEY:
It saw Shirley giving Laverne her driver's lesson.
It lived in the apartment next to Lenny and Squiggy.
THREE'S COMPANY:
It was standing in the door when it saw Cindy
coming.
Larry used it's name on a date and there was
this really angry man after it,so it decided
to hide out with Jack and the girls at Cindy's
aunt's farm!
THE BEVERELY HILLBILLIES:
It was trying to get away from Ellie Mae's cooking!
THE SECRET ADVENTURES OF JULES VERNE:
Phileas Fogg thought it was a spy.
CHARMED:
It was running away from Prue after first borrowing her car without permission and then
crashing it into a lamppost.
GILLIGAN'S ISLAND:
It ate up all of the seeds that Mary Ann was
going to sow her garden with.
DOCTOR WHO:
It was being chased by Leela.
It was gunning for John Nathan-Turner after it
found out it's role was cut in half!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
JANEWAY: To get home.
CHAKOTAY: To be with its people.
SEVEN OF NINE: It was the most efficient way of reaching the other side.
DOCTOR: I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist.
MCCOY: I'm a doctor, not an egg farmer.
ODO: I don't know, but I'm sure Quark must somehow be responsible.
PICARD: There are *FOUR* lights!
NOTE: Some of these are not my own answers.
LOCUTUS: Roads are irrelevant. Crossing is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.
PARIS: Harry! A hologram? An ex-Borg? A dead girl? And now a... we really need a counselor on this ship!
Why did the chicken ncross the road?
Homer J: Mmmmm..... chicken...
(These were sent by email.)
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your faces? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call the "other side!" Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the "other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross the road without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was an historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
KEN STARR: I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the President of the United States of America in an effort to distract law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the President's ongoing and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any congressional follow-up investigations have been completed.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken?" Could you define "chicken" please?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe?
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned with that chicken crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken2000, which will not only cross the road but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of Chicken2000.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken cross the road, or did the road move under the chicken?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was great rejoicing.
GEORGE BUSH, JR.: It has been established that the chicken did cross the road. The chicken has had fair access to the judicial appeal system of the great state of Texas, and now it must suffer the consequences. It is not within my power as governor to grant said chicken a reprieve. And I hope that the damned thing doesn't run around in circles afterward!
(Aside to the kitchen ... "Not too much seasoning, you idiot!")
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
Why did the American spy chicken land on the other side of the road?
It was clipped by the Chinese chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the rabbit that wanted her eggs.
As the commercial says...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get a Bud Light.
Why did the Vulcan chicken cross the road?
At the time, it seemed like the logical thing to do!
(With apologies to Sarek of Vulcan).
Q: Why did the Jem'Hadar chicken cross the road?
A: Because it was dead. As of that moment all Jem'Hadar chickens were dead. They cross the road to regain their lives, etc. etc.
(apologies to First Omet'Iklan... no I was only joking.... wait... nyaaaaAAARRGGGHHHHH!!!)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Laverne & Shirley:
It heard Sergeant Plout was coming to pay
Laverne another visit.
Rhonda was holding another party and it wanted
to get some good clothes so it could attend.
Actually it was really Carmine dressed up as
a chicken delivering a singing telegram to
Cowboy Bill's!
Gilligan's Island:
The Skipper was on another diet and it wanted
to be able to survive!
Survivor II:
One word:JERRI!!!!
Blakes 7:
So why DID Vila cross the road?
Because it was the Weakest Link - goodbye...
The Beverly Hillbillies:
It had a whiff of Granny's moonshine!
Laverne & Shirley:
It felt suicidal after hearing Shirley married
Walter instead of Carmine!
Actually it was Laverne still suffering from the
affects from the episode when she and Shirley were
hypnotized to believe they were chickens!
Sergeant Plout wanted it for dinner!
It heard Fonzie was in Burbank visiting the gals
and heard he really likes the chicks!
Deep Space Nine:
It was only a perception that it was crossing the
road when it reality it was trying to confuse the
Obsidian Order!
It was afraid that Dukat was after it!
Ferengi Rule of Acquistion #2222:
Follow Profit as Chicken follows feed!
To get away from its poor, nagging Jewish mother. Oy!
To get away from all the Phlox puns.
Why did the chicken Phlox the road?
[sorry... sorry]
Why did the Bolian cross the road?
He was feeling blue...
Runs away... very very quickly
Why did the Maquis chicken cross the road?
To attack a Cardassian chicken colony.
Why did the Voyager chicken cross the road?
It had no choice. It was pulled there by the Caretaker.
Why did the Romulan chicken cross the road?
To test the Federation's defenses.
Why did the Gizmonics Institute chicken cross the road?
To look for cheesy movies, the worst it could find...
Why did the gun-toting chicken cross the road?
It was hunting chicken joke posters.
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Because he'd escaped from Tweedy's Chicken Farm.
Today I saw two crows walking across a busy street. Why did the crows cross the road?
I don't know!!
I will only give you my name, rank, and "Why did the chicken cross the road"!
Hmmm, the new Cardassian torture methods?
Gul Madred: Now, I ask you again: WHY did the chicken cross the road?
To get the fifth light.
Why did the Klingon chicken cross the busy road?
It was a good day to die.
Michael Palin:
What do we mean by "Why"? What do we mean by "road"? What do we mean by "chicken"? Did it cross the road because we ask why, or do we ask why because it crossed the road? What do we mean by the word "mean"? [etc. etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum ad infinitum until a 16-ton weight drops on top of him at least]
John Cleese:
This chicken has crossed the road. It has transgresssed the threshold. It looked both ways and advanced to the opposite aspect of the thoroughfare. This is a jaywalking chicken. It's a pedestrian! Bursting with life it ambulates its way - if you had nailed it to its perch it would be walking round in circles! It's slung on some booties and joined the Marathon Invisible! This... is a mobile... chicken!
[Palin: I'd better get you a replacement then...]
Eric Idle:
Does your chicken... walk, eh? Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more! Does she... you know, eh... cross roads, eh, he asked knowingly? Know what I mean? Know! What! I! Mean!? A nod's as good as a wink to a blind chicken, eh?
Graham Chapman:
How am I supposed to know why the chicken crossed the road? I only came in here to say this line - I didn't expect this kind of Spanish inquisition!
[Palin and co: NO-ONE expects the chicken to cross the road!!!!! (shurely shome mishtake? - everyone)]
BANG! BANG! BANG!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To find the 'scpipt supervisor' from series one of the original "Star Trek".
Don't worry about Sven, the chicken just winged him.
*BANG!*
*thud*
Q: Why did the Gumato Spawnk the Uhuru?
A: To get to the other Kowel.
Hey, that wasn't in the scpipt!
Tell that to "Terri" Garr & Okmyx.
Why did the chicken only half-way cross the road?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did Wilford Brimley's chicken cross the road?
Because it was the right thing to do and the right time to do it.
Why did the clones of the chicken cross the road?
To Attack!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To get to the Dept. of Motor Vehicles. That was 2 years ago and it's still there, waiting in line!
-Because Colonel Sanders was chasing him with a cleaver!
-Because those annoying Round Table pizza guys were chasing him, wanting to put him on their new Rostadoro pizza!
-It was pretending to be Frogger and wanted to see how good it was at dodging traffic.
-To see the newest chick flick.
Why did ScottN's chicken cross the road?
To bash in Bashir's head.
Why did the Angry fisherman's chicken cross the road?
To get Pepperman's chicken.
Why did The Amazing Quantum Man's chicken cross the road?
Darned uncertainty principle.
Why didn't the hen cross the road?
Because she was chicken!
KAM dives for cover
If a chicken & an egg both crossed a road would that be called Walk & Roll.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To get to the chicken.*
* I think this one was done in a BC comic.
Why did Steve Winwood's chicken finish crossing the road?
He wanted to get out of Traffic.
Which crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg?
It was tired of all the speculation as to why it
crossed the road!
Why did the Betelgeusian Ultra-Chicken cross the road?
Zaphod: Because it was a really hoopy frood!
Ford: Maybe the Book will tell us why the chicken crossed the road.
Arthur: Maybe it had the most tremendous difficulty in its lifestyle.
Marvin: Perhaps it was feeling very depressed.
Eddie: Hi guys! I'm Eddie, your shipboard computer and--
Deep Thought: Tricky.
Deep Thought (seven and a half million years later): FORTY-TWO!!!!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it betrayed him, and he sought revenge.
Somebody set up us the road.
All your chicken are belong to us.
Kenn Starr: President Clinton, why is the chicken crossing the road?
Bill clinton: That depends on what the definition of "is" is?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It had the WALK signal
To capture Osama Bin Laden and claim the reward.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don't know, but it was poultry in motion.
You're fired, Berry. 
Q: Why did the imported chicken cross the road?
A: Because it realised it was 25% water with traces of pork, and wanted to kill itself.
Q: Why did Travis cross the road?
A: To get to the other Side. Side. Side. Side.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the bigamist cross the road?
To get to the other bride.
Why did the tanner cross the road?
To get to the other hide.
Why did the hitchhiker cross the road?
To get to the other ride.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it realised it was no longer as funny as that one about Sherlock Holmes.
Why did the chicken tiptoe across the road?
It didn't want to accidentally set off the bomb in it's shoes.
Why did the Russian chicken cross the road?
To influence the French judge's chicken.
Why was the Korean chicken disqualified from crossing the road?
He clipped another chicken
Why did Shondra Levy's chicken cross the road?
It was trying to get away from Gary Condit's chicken
The Pointy-haired Boss's chicken: Don't cross better, cross smarter.
Why did the chicken cross the road straight, then cross again at an angle, then cross back again straight?
It was Zorro's chicken
What do you call a chicken with a college degree?
A Roads Scholar
Why did the chicken take a deck of cards when it used the Railroad Crossing?
It wanted to throw throw the Jokers off the track
Why did the chicken cross the railroad track?
The road was being repaired
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It wanted to avoid being pestered by panhandlers
In Frog City, the police were investigating a dead chicken.
Frog 1: Why was the chicken killed?
Frog 2: He must have crossed the Toad.
There once was a chicken from Nantucket
When an oncoming car came he'd duck it
Why he'd cross a road
No one would ever knowed
For he would tell the asker to cluck it!
Rather than wonder why the chicken crossed the road, maybe we should wonder how it knew it had the light?
Why was the road-crossing chicken wearing a disguise?
If people were telling all these jokes about you would you want to be recognised?
BANG! BANG! BANG!
I once found an entire site of these, by James Daal...I had it saved as a Works document, but my comp [messed] up and the id*ots at Best Buy couldn't save any of my stuff (which was all important to me--I had my comp all personalized, bunch of programs, etc.). Someone let me know if you find it, please.
I'm looking as I speak.
CC, please watch your language.
Anonymous,
I had to read C-C's post twice to find where she "got around" the censor. That is mild compared to what she has posted. Reminds me of a story about Harry and Bess Truman. Harry was campaigning and speaking at a Grange to farmers in Kansas and he opened, "I know the three most important things about farming are manure, manure, and manure." A local wife said to Bess, "You should get him to say 'fertilizer'." Bess replied, "You don’t know how long it took to get him to say 'manure'."
Still, CC, Anonymous has a point. If you are avoiding the censor only do so for a very good reason. I can think of several synonyms for the asterisked word that could have sufficed.
The thing is, "idiots" isn't a censored word.
She used a different word than [messed]. I changed it.
Why did the ******* cross the [censored]?
To get to the other [that's enough - everyone]
We are Chicken of Borg. Your roads will be crossed. Resistence is futile.
The Energizer Chicken. It keeps crossing & crossing & crossing...
The Verizon Chicken: Can you hear me crossing here? (pause) Good. (takes a few steps) Can you hear me crossing here? (pause) Good. (takes a few steps) Can you hear me crossing here? (pause) Good.
Anakin's Chicken: Ever since I first crossed you all those years ago...
Because it had a pulley in the middle! Maybe THAT's what it's used for!
Why did Phil Collins cross the road?
To get to the middle!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To give the truck drivers something to aim for.
Why did CATS cross the road?
To set us up the bomb.
Why did Murray pass over Dr. McCoy?
He wanted to be a Skull & Cross Bones.
Why did they move Zig across the road?
For great justice.
Q: Why did Mark Renton cross the road?
A: Because he chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you're a chicken?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to his pants.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To get away from the Kratt brothers.
You're on a real Zoboomafoo kick, aren't you KAM?
My nephew watches it before school and I usually have to watch my nephew & put up with the shows he watches. (When are the exterminators scheduled to wipe all the vermin on Arthur?)
At least they're not running the Screen Gems Network anymore. I swear they only had 12 episodes of I Dream Of Genie and they repeated them endlessly. Ugh! I Dream Of Genie should only be seen once every 20 years.
Coming up next: riffs & nits about Sagwai, The Chinese Siamese Cat. 
Why did Sagwai cross the road?
To get away from grandfather's stinky tofu breath. 
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from all the 10-foot tall giant ape-thing jokes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the possum it really could be done.
Why did the Rooster cross the road?
C'mon the chicken was there, do I have defeat the censors for you?
Blue Berry: Why did the Rooster cross the road?
Was he feeling a little bit cocky?
Sven,
No. He just thought the chicken should.
Oh. Right. :P
[sound inside Sven's head of a penny dropping]
Emily Dickens-hen:
Because I couldn't stop for the chicken in the road, the chicken in the road kindly stopped for me.
Why did the chicken cross the Moebius Strip?
To get to the other... umm... er... Oh, forget it!
So if he has nowhere to go, is he taking a Moebius Trip?
ScottN,
If the chicken runs really fast can get exactly where he was. (Gee, this joke might be good on PM.)
It must have been a Rhode Island Red Queen.
Why did the chicken cross the Rhode (Island)? To get to Connecticut.
Why did the chicken tikka masala cross the road?
To get to the other side-order!
It was so cold that the chicken crossed the road with a capon.
Got this from Mom by email:
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insiderinformation.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it had a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
JOHN EDWARDS (the so-called medium): I sense that someone has crossed over. I'm getting a vibe...
Explorer - Because it was there.
Lawyer - Objection! Calls for speculation.
Thug - To avoid trouble, mate.
Book keeper - I don't know. I can't account for it.
Union Official - Because the capitalist coop owner made her redundant for lack of egg productivity and she was forced onto the street.
Engineer - Sorry, not enough data available to answer that question.
Hey, MarkN, some of those were already posted on this site!
Anyway...
PSYCHOLOGIST:
The chicken didn't mean to cross the road, the road was being hypersensitive...
IRISH BARD:
To get to the other Sidhe.
I hope that's not too awful. It's actually pronounced "Shee" but I couldn't resist.
GENETICIST:
How should I know, until you tell me what the chicken crossed the road with? Another road? Did it do any genetic modifications to achieve the cross?
SURREALIST:
The eyes of the chicken remain on one side of the road, but shudder through the feathers as they blow along the shoulders of the road, where the chicken's beak dances into the armpits of the lane, until the antennae wound around and across the thighs of the boulevard which filtered through the knuckles of the street, while the ankles of the avenue swam across the shimmering suburbs of night, where the chicken's feet dance along the beams of the silvery man in the moon who laughs, at the cow, who abhors the navel of the path and instead crosses the chest of the parkway, where the feathers of dawn tickle the chicken's pate de foie gras on the Buffet Table of All True Philosphies...
Hey, if that's not good surrealism the board moderator could delete this and I could try again if you want.
GEORGE W. BUSH - We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL - Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANZ BLIX - We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador) - The chicken did not cross the
road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
(got those by email)
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it had become 103k wide.
And it only took three years to get there.
Goodnight everyone. Drive safely. The Chickens are out there!
Where?
[suddenly drives into a large chicken, killing it]
Oh b******s...
Why did the tiger cross the road?
To attack Roy
The chicken has not crossed our glorious road! I triply guarantee you! Any information that you have about that is lies! Even now, the chicken is destroying itself trying to cross the road, but our brave forces are destroying it! We throw shoes at it!
Aftermath of Iraq war: Still trying to find chickens of mass destruction crossing the roads.
Why did the redneck cross the road?
He heard the chicken was easy.
DOUGLAS ADAMS:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
42.
RICK BERMAN:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
47.
BRANNON BRAGA:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Borg! Borg! And Jem'Hadar! And Cardassians and Bajorans and loads more races that shouldn't show up for another 200 years! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
GEORGE LUCAS:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't cross the road. It's the road's father.
JAMES T KIRK:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because risk is our business.
JACK O'NEILL
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because there was a big honkin' gun on this side.
GRAND THEFT AUTO- VICE CITY PC GAME
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To gun down Ricardo "Mr. Coke" Diaz.
SIMPSONS HIT & RUN PC GAME
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To avoid being hit by Homer. (D'oh!)
RETURN TO CASTLE WOLFENSTEIN PC GAME
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To kill some Nazis.
Why did the Jaffa chicken cross the road?
KREE!
Why did St.Chicken cross the road?
It was blessing the pavement with Holy Water.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the road made it cross...thereby demanding restitution!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was marking the places where the opossums got hit
What did Dr. McCoy say when the chicken got killed while crossing the road?
"It's dead, Jim."
What did Dr. McCoy say when the chicken asked to assist him in crossing the road?
"I'm a doctor, not a crossing guard!"
Anime Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Pokemon:It was escaping from Team Rocket!
Inuyasha:It was Naraku in disguise and was
trying to flee from Kagome's arrows!
Silent Mobius:It was trying to find a nice quiet place to get away from Lem Cheng's constant yakking!
Crest/Banner of the Stars:It was a spy for the
Triple Alliance!
Yu Yu Hakusho:It was looking to fight Yusuke!
Dragonball:It was angry that Goku ate it's father!
Big O:It had amnesia like everyone else in Paradigm City and was trying to find it's memories!
Betterman:It was possessed by Algernon!
.hack//sign:It was looking for Bear!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see Janet Jackson's breast.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Matt Anonymous: Rabbi Meir Kahane!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't believe in same-side marriage
Why did the deer cross the road?
Well, actually, it only got halfway across and then froze in the headlights.
Why did the chicken half-way cross the road?
To lay it on the line.