How many forum members does it takes to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
1 to move it to the Lighting section.
2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section.
7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
5 to flame the spell checkers.
3 to correct spelling/grammar flames.
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum.
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum.
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty.
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

How many Nitpickers does it take to change a lightbulb?

First: A nitpicker must actually find the bulb that is burnt out & post it at Nitcentral.

Second: Another nitpicker must verify the burnt out bulb and make any corrections (if needed) to the exact date and time the bulb went out.

Third: Luigi Novi will post funny red headings about the burnt out bulb and quote the nitpickers who noticed it.

Fourth: Benn will post a tribute to the burnt out bulb

Fifth: John A. Lang will make a funny posting about the bulb

Sixth: A moderator will replace the bulb and notify all nitpickers that the bulb has been changed and close the discussion.

How many Daleks would it take to change a lightbulb?

None...The lightbulb would be EX-TER-MIN-ATED!

Re:Last Comment
Nope, If they're 70's era Daleks, they get their Ogron "slaves" to do so...
The only snag is that Ogrons are fairly stupid a/k/a "Intellgence Challenged", and generally make a mess of it....

How many boring people does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?


A fish.

How many nitpickers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well, technically, you don't change the lightbulb, you're really replacing it.

How many more nitpickers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well, the script for $INSERT_MOVIE_HERE specifically calls out the word "change".

How would Rick Berman & Brannon Braga change a lightbulb?

First, one of them would notice the bulb is burned out and figure out the approximate time when the bulb burned out.

Then they would go back in time to the point BEFORE the bulb went out.

They would then change the bulb to an entirely different bulb (more watts)

They would then go back to the "present" to see that the light bulb that WAS burnt out is still lit...therefore it would not need changing.

How would "The Dominion" (from DS9) change a light bulb?

A Jem'Haddar soldier would report the burnt out bulb to the Vorta.

The Vorta would enter the room and examine the burnt out bulb.

The Vorta would then report the burnt out bulb to the Founders.

A Changeling would then enter the room and examine the burnt out bulb and command the Vorta to have the bulb changed.

The Vorta would then command a Jem'Haddar soldier to change the bulb.

A Jem'Haddar soldier would then get a person from a weaker species to be his slave and have him change the bulb.

How else would B&B Change a lightbulb?

[INSERT John A. Lang's time travel scenario here]

They would then say that the light bulb is a "valentine to the fans".

We would pull back to see that the entire lightbulb changing scenario was actually a holodeck simulation being watched by Riker and Troi, and that there really was no lightbulb at all.

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. That's a hardware problem.


Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, we'll just work around it in software.

How would the Klingons change a light bulb?

The Klingon would take out the bulb, hold it up in the air and emit the "Klingon Death Howl" and say, "This bulb died with honor. It is now in Sto-Vo-Kor". Then they'd replace the bulb with a new one and say to it, "May you die with honor!"

Q. How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. None! This is a warship without any of your human comforts!

How many Time Lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None...the light bulb regenerates into an all new bulb.

How many Romulans does it take to change a lightbulb?

237... 1 to change the bulb, and the rest to blow up the ship out of shame.

How many redshirts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who knows? They keep dying before they can.

How many procrastinators does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, eventually.

How many Risians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just take the bulb out of the hole and then they.........sorry, this is a family sight.

How many citizens of Angel One does it take to change a light bulb?
Hmph. Typical male question.

How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
Light bulbs are irrelevant.

How many Section 31 agents does it take to change a light bulb?
That's classified. Our official position is that light bulbs do not exist and we will deny any claim to that effect.

How many Ferengi does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he has to do it far more often, because the manufacturer of the bulbs designed them to be very short-lived, so that you'd have to buy them more often and thus increase his profits.

How many redshirts does it take to change a light bulb?
Lots, because every time someone changes it, the bulb immediately blows up or just dies.

How many Enterprise-D personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it while Troi points out that the old one is burnt out, long after everyone has already seen that.

How many DS9 crew members does it take to change a light bulb?
Luigi Novi: One. He holds the new bulb in place while the station spins around him.

How many Voyager personnel does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Voyager light bulbs never burn out, and even if they did, they have an endless supply of them, which are all replaced by the next episode.

How many Enterprise fans does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change it, and four to point out that it looks different from it did back in the 60's.

How many members of the Enterprise creative staff does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. Manny Coto begins to do so, but then Berman and Braga take over from him because they want to do it themselves, even though they’ve broken a lot of the bulbs they tried to fix in the past.

How many Pakleds does it take to change a light bulb?
We look for things. Things to make us go.

How many James Bond villians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They force their grossly underpaid minions to do it or face painful death.

How many MI6 scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three: one to design it, one to build it and one, a very fussy Q of course, to install and test it so that he can give it to James Bond who'll just happen to have an opportunity later on to use it himself in a fight with a villian or to try escaping from bloodthirsty goons or a villian's hideout.

How many Bond Babes does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't; they prefer the ambience when they're alone with Bond after he's just defeated the villian and gotten clean away.

How many James Bond villians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They force their grossly underpaid minions to do it or face painful death.

And before they're finished, James Bond shows up and foils the dastardly plans of the villain...

How many MI6 scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three: one to design it, one to build it and one, a very fussy Q of course, to install and test it so that he can give it to James Bond who'll just happen to have an opportunity later on to use it himself in a fight with a villian or to try escaping from bloodthirsty goons or a villian's hideout.

You forgot that James Bond apparently destroys or leaves behind the light bulb in the process (at least, according to what Q always complains about)...

How many Orion Slave Women does it take to change a light bulb?

None...They'd leave the lights off. (Smooch, smooch)

How many members of the Bluth family would it take to change a light bulb?

Well, it depends on which one is in charge.

Michael-After noticing the light bulb was out, he'd complain about it to his father who tells him there's money in it. He'd then try to get it changed, but get nowhere. Out of spite, he then would change the light bulb himself, throw it away, and gloat about it to his father. His father would then inform him there was a rare coin hidden in the light bulb worth a lot of money.

GOB-He would turn it into a magic trick. (Sorry, ILLUSION.) After the bulb is magicly changed, he somehow starts a fire that burns down the house. As he walks from the wreckage, he mutters "I've made a huge mistake."

Lindsey-She would try to get to it, only to have Maebe thwart every attempt.

Maebe-She'd write it into a script and get an actor to change it as part of the plot. ("Sounds like I'm doing a teenage girl's chore list." "Marry me!")

Lucille-"I do not understand the question, nor will I respond to it."

How Many Executives At Cartoon Newtork Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?
A.Originally about four or five but they keep changing the schedule around and moving the time to change the light bulb to later and later on Adult Swim that by the time the people who really care about the light bulb are ready for it to be changed it's gotten so late that most of them have gone to bed and so the execs at AS cancel the light bulb changing due to 'ratings'.

How Many Vashes From Trigun Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
A.It depends on how many donuts you pay him!

How Many Cylons Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
A.Does it matter?They all are copies of different models so when one fails to complete the mission another copy will take their place!

How Many Belldandys from Ah!My Goddess Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?
A.None.Goddesses aren't afraid of the Dark!

How many Star wars characters does it take to change a light bulb?

Well, lets see..

- None, Boba Fett kills anyone who confuses him with Bulba Fett...

- One, Han Solo bangs on the cockpit wall above the door...

- Two, One to confuse the light bulb with a computer terminal, and another to insult him about it.

By LUIGI NOVI on Saturday, December 17, 2005 - 10:40 pm:
How many nitpickers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well, technically, you don't change the lightbulb, you're really replacing it.

Anti-nit: Technically, it should be possible to repair a burnt-out lightbulb, although it would be a lot of effort, but it shouldn't be impossible. Luigi was making an unwarranted assumption.

How many Cardassian interrogators does it take to change five lightbulbs?

THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!!

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awesome one, Scott!

How many old people does it take to replace a light bulb?

Four - One to change it and three to complain that lightbulbs are not as good as they used to be.


How many Trekkies does it take to replace a light bulb?

47.


How many Humanoid Cylons does it take to replace a lightbulb?

Seven - One to bring up the idea of changing the bulb and another six agreeing that the bulb requires changing.


How many Vorlons does it take to replace a light bulb?

Beauty, in the Darkness.

How many Woke people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who cares! How dare you mis-gender that lightbulb! It's a non-gender bulb!

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to remove the old bulb and one to Make It Great Again.

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to replace a light bulb?
1001. One to change the bulb and a thousand others to say it never existed.

How many werewolves and mermaids does it take to change a lightbulbs?
It's a trick question. Just one werewolf, because mermaids don't exist, silly!

How many incompetent bomb disposal experts does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to unscrew the lightbulb and another to--KA-BOOOOM!!!!

How many Swifties does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and another to write a nasty, vindictive hit song about how it was such a terrible lightbulb.

*groan!*