It's good that you don't have a problem lying down! Or did you mean "prostate"?
Over the years, certain commercials have drove me nuts...here are some examples.
Palmolive: As I mentioned in the R.I.P. board, The women who saw Madge the Manicurist acted like she dunked their hands in sulphuric acid every time they dunked their hands in Palmolive. If they can't trust Madge, why bother seeing her?
Sucrets: There was a commercial in which the husband wakes his wife in the middle of the night griping about his sore throat. If I was the wife, I'd say, "Look honey, if you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to get your own @#$% Sucrets!"
Jello Pudding Pops: Here's Bill Cosby, on a Jello Pudding Pops truck, yelling his lungs out: "Jello Pudding Pops" and the kids come up to him and ask, "What have you got there, Bill Cosby?" Are these kids DEAF or something?
The radio spots for Disneylands "two-fer" promotion.
Any "feminine hygiene" product. "Mom, do you ever have that... 'not so fresh' feeling?"
Do they make male hygiene ads? "Hey, Ted, how's that jock itch problem of yours doing?"
Yes, they do (or did -- I haven't seen any lately). But they didn't have fathers and sons having unrealistic "heart-to-heart" talks about it.
There have been many commercials over the years in which an individual has discussed personal health problems openly to a next door neighbor (IE Constipation, diaherea, weak bladder, etc) Do these manufacturers actually believe that people talk about these things in everyday conversations?
Why not apparently viagra makers think guys will be so happy to be able to get it up again they'll be dancing in the streets and high fiving each other.
>anonprostrateproblemedman <
It's good that you don't have a problem lying down! Or did you mean "prostate"?
I hate the car commercials with the creepy Amish-looking "zoom-zoom" kid... looks like someone from Children of the Corn.
Sorry about that no I dont have any problem getting anything to lay down. "
Thats supposed to be a little devil kinda figure.
The new KFC commercials.
Col. Harlan Sanders has been reduced to a 2-dimensional, sloppily drawn, moronic cartoon character.
Two words: Slomin's Shield.
That's a company that makes home security systems, as well as some of the dumbest commercials on the planet. They used to have commercials that ended with some family singing the Slomin's Shield jingle. Then they made more dumb ads with some goof in a red costume guarding some house, interrogating everyone (mailmen, garbagemen, girl scouts, stray dogs, etc.) that came anywhere near the door of a house. Now the latest one is supposed to be in a prison, with all these inmates wearing black and white striped outfits, and they're all thieves that got caught by the Slomin's Shield. The best part is at the end, where this "corrections officer" is shouting orders to a chain gang. They're in a desert, and the officer speaks with a southern drawl, but...the patch on his shoulder clearly says "NEW YORK" on it!
The "I've fallen and I can't get back up" commercial. It's dumb because yelling "HELP!", "Help me!" or even "Somebody help me!" is much more realistic.
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9 Lives- Morris the cat. If your cat's that finiky, don't feed it until it starts meowing. Then give the dumb cat whatever you dang please...including table scraps. It'll eat! Plus it'll stop being so finiky!
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In the new M&M's commercial, it has a retro version of "Color My World". Ya wanna know why they don't play the more popular version with Petula Clark?
Because they'd had to pay Petula royalties!
God forbid they'd wanna do that!
"Colour My World"? The Chicago song?
The only version of "Color My World" that I know is the one I mentioned before. (Petula Clark) I don't know of any other version.
The only song titled "Color My World" I know of is the one by Chicago. It's on the CD Chicago II, from 1969.
I hate all those local lawyer commercials they stick in the commercial breaks on the cable channels. If I go the rest of my life and never need a lawyer again, I'll be a very happy man.
Technically, Adam, "Chicago II" is simply titled "Chicago". It's referred to as "Chicago II", because after that they started numbering.
For those who are interested, "Chicago I" is "Chicago Transit Authority".
There is one commercial for (I believe) DeBeers that's aired for a year or two, and it drives me nuts. A couple is wandering around Rome, when the guy screams out "I LOVE THIS WOMAN." The woman, out of sheer embarassment, attempts to calm her husband down. He then produces a diamond ring, saying to his wife, "I guess this will have to do," while putting the ring on her finger. Once the ring is on, they embrace, and she quietly says to him "I love this man. I love him...." Does she only love him because he gave her a diamond ring?
A kiss on the hand may be quite continental
But diamonds are a girls best friend
A kiss may be grand but it wont pay the rental on your humble flat
or help you at the automat
Men grow cold as girls grow old and we all lose our charms in the end
But square cut or pear shaped these rocks dont lose their shape
Diamonds are a girls best friend
.........
You tell me you love me
You tell me you care
But when I'm around you
It's like I'm not there
I need a reminder
Something can see
Something on my finger
Shining so brightly
Don't you know
Diamonds are a girls' best friend
When you go
They stay with me until the end
Don't you know
Diamonds are a girls' best - best friend
When you go
They stay with me until the end
Starkist Tuna:
Why does Charlie the Tuna want to be caught by Starkist?
Doesn't he know that if he's caught, he'll be cleaned, gutted & stuffed in a can and then eaten?
Classic Woodsy Owl commercial
("Give a hoot, don't pollute")
At the end of the song, Woodsy Owl blows a "Owl whistle" to make the "Hoot hoot" noise.
Does this make any sense?
The guy's an owl for crying out loud!
Why would he need an "owl whistle" to make the owl noise?
I guess Woodsy Owl DOESN'T give a hoot about pollution after all!
John said: Why does Charlie the Tuna want to be caught by Starkist?
I always wondered the same thing, for the very same reasons you mentioned.
There's a Ford truck commercial, in which an F-150 truck is being held in the air by one bolt. Is that possible? The F-150 weighs close to two tons, if not more.
Masingil (sp?) Products
Do women REALLY talk about Masingil (sp?) disposable douches in real life?
John, see my 01 March 2004 post.
Do you ever have that... "not so fresh" feeling?
John, regarding Woodsy:
He already *gave* his hoot, and that's why he needs to use an owl whistle.
How about that commercial for female IBS with the writing on the navels? Annoys me to no end.
Classic Ajax commercial
Two men are outside. One of them points to a white funnel cloud in the sky and yells "A white tornado!"
If this were a REAL white tornado, there'd be fierce wind, rain, thunder, lightning, etc. that accompanies a regular tornado. In the commercial, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
Woody Owl is not an Owl!
I so looked up to him too ;(
When M&Ms ran that "You can win cash every
day for the rest of your life", and showed hippies
singing about cash! UGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! A true
hippie would puke his guts out at this commercial.
How about those old ads from the 80's that
told kids to call Santa, or Chuckles the Clown
for $X.XX a minute? I amlost fell for the second one. X{
[Yes, I was little then, and I watched
Beverly Hills teens, and such garbage fed
to me through the TV set]
for the Ajax commercial....
If they stayed too long gawking at it, they'd
probaly be sandblasted/shredded to death by flying
debris, electrocuted, or some other nasty things.
I don't feel so good..... %S
Any Subway ad with Jared. God, I hate that fugly mug of his! I like Subway but that's almost enough to keep me away from it!
Or those Check Into Cash pay advance centers ads that conspicuously fail to mention (or very slightly do in an easy-to-miss way) that you'll be charged at least 10% or so of your paycheck! Hey! One's playing right now!
Or those stupid, fake bailbond ads, like the Aladdin ones shown here in CA (I dunno if they're national or not) where they not only give the false impression that they really care about you and whoever it is you're trying to bail out but they also not-so-subtlely target different ethnicities, mostly focusing on Hispanics and Blacks (but surprisingly no Asians), though you'll see a white chick with short blonde hair in one ("I never... thought..." What? That anyone would really take you seriously, chick?), or another, very whiny blonde whose hubby wakes her up in the middle of the night ("JAY-IL? What am I gonna do?" Taking acting lessons would be a good start!) Those ads also never tell you what anyone's in jail for, not that I'd really care, anyway.
The bottom line is that just about every TV ad is false to some extent or other, if not in what they do or don't say, then in what they show. You know, like two incredibly hot, beautiful, shapely, busty women would really get into a fight in a public fountain over a freakin' beer. If only that really were true, though. ;)
Commercials I could do without:
Semi-retired actors / actresses discussing their bladder problems and using "Depend"
Fortunately, the ads for Viagra have stopped airing. I didn't care whether "Wild Thing" got back his mojo.
I find "Check into Cash" annoying, too.
Right now, I am sick, sick, SICK of the Alias promo with the bad knock-knock gag...
"What's your name?"
"Ima"
"Ima what?"
"Ima gonna kick your..."
It may have been slightly amusing the first time (but mostly because many of us were eagerly anticipating the show). But every promo for this season has featured it. UGH!!!
I'm also tired of listening to Wilford Brimley's various Liberty diabetes testing supply ads. It's like, dude, we just don't care.
I was already tired of Brimley back in Cocoon when he had some "candy" for the senior gals.
Yeah, I hate those Check into Cash commercials,
but at least they added the [western?] style
music and "money mayday". Before, they were
extremely sterile, almost like they were
trying to depict an enviroment like TNG in
the 3rd and 4th seasons*
*OK, I have no problem with a TNG enviroment at
all, but trying to make a business that
exists in the the gritty, mean early 21st
century look like something out of
the progressive 24th century seems...wrong.
[Someone told me that Dlbert have a strip
whose theme was "life is not star Trek". I'm
very intersted in finding this strip online.]
I find it rather amusing that many of these
Liberty Insurance Medical Whatever companies seemed to be based in
Pennsylvania. I grew up
in PA (Cheltenham, outside of Philadelphia to be
exact), and it's odd to see these commercials
when sitting in Downtown LA, or in a doctors
office in Hollyweird. (Yes, Hollyweird is much
different than Cheltenham .
Classic Cracker Jack Commercials
The commercial starts with Jack Gilford sneaking up on a kid and trying to snatch the kid's Cracker Jacks.
First of all, doesn't the man have a job where he can make some money and BUY HIS OWN Cracker Jacks? They're not that expensive, ya' know!
Second: Doesn't this guy have any remorse or shame that he has to resort to stealing Cracker Jacks from a little kid?
Third: Assuming the man and the kid is related (father / son / daughter / whatever) Doesn't he think that if he ASKS nicely, the kid MIGHT share the Cracker Jacks with his / her elder? And if not, GO BUY HIS OWN Cracker Jacks or look in the cabinet and see if there's another box for himself!
OMG!!! I'd forgotten about that ad, John! At the time I wasn't into analyzing ads so that never crossed my mind but now that you mention it...
Or how about friendly neighborhood grocer Mr. Whipple always squeezing the Charmin at work! Who'd keep on an employee like that? He must've had better things to do than play with toilet paper all day long! And didja ever notice that it was always in front of the female shoppers? Never male ones that I can recall, now that I think about it. Anyway, I remember Playboy once had a cartoon spoofing it: "Mr. Whipple! Please don't squeeze the shoppers!"
Or how about friendly neighborhood grocer Mr. Whipple always squeezing the Charmin at work! Who'd keep on an employee like that?
It's the small neighborhood corner grocery store. He probably owned the place.
Anyone like the Vonage broadband phone company whose TV ads feature a song from that Japanese, well, broad band, in Kill Bill 1? You know, the trio, The 5, 6, 7, 8's, who sings just before Uma fights the Crazy 88's? That "Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-hoo!" song.
Any comericals for Tampons/Maxipads.
I mean, they show the women flying through the air, dancing all over the place, the sun beaming onto them with huge smiles on their faces. It gets very annoying having to see these all of the time.
Why does Charlie the Tuna want to be caught by Starkist? - John A. Lang
Better to be dead and considered worthy than to live and be shown unworthy. - Me
Charlie the Tuna has a death wish?
I hate any ads that presumes to tell me how I'd feel about using their service, product, or cars they sell, like a nearby Ford/Kia dealer who says something like, "So come on down to [dealer]. You'll really be glad you did!" First off, don't assume that I'm even gonna be interested in buying a Ford, let alone buy a car at all from you, and second, don't presume to even know how I'd feel about my experience there once I'd left. That's for me to decide, not you.
Or ambulance chaser--er, I mean "personal injury" lawyer ads. At least it's nice when a few will have a disclaimer that the spokespersons aren't lawyers themselves, otherwise it'd give the false impression that they were.
Cling-Free Dryer Sheets
I despise the commercial with the cranky grandma yelling, "If I'm wrong, it's Lisa's (the grand-daughter's) fault! She told me to buy "Cling-Free!"
What makes the grandma think it was her grand-daughter's fault? If "Cling-Free" was on the shopping list, then SHUT UP AND BUY IT! Let the mom worry about the laundry!
I'm glad my grandma wasn't like that grandma!
There was a time when children respected their elders. Lisa should have expressed more appreciation for Grandma. Grandmother was right.
I dunno what brand of toilet paper (Charmin, maybe?), but the one with the bears in the woods... dancing while rubbing their butts on trees and with the toilet paper is pretty nasty, I think.
Yes, Darth, it is Charmin, and btw, have you ever recognized its not-so-subtle subtext? Bears, in the woods, using toilet paper. Remind you of a certain sarcastic reply for "yes"?
do bears charmin in the woods?
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Does anyone remember those 976 commercials
in the 1980's that told kids to dial Santa,
Chuckles the Clown, or Action Arcade? I wonder what happened to the companies that used to run
those lines?
I think they run the Dial-A-Porn lines advertised on late night TV. :S
An ad or two that seemed to stopped being shown anymore for awhile and then were just started back up again are those stupid ones with the guy doing a very bad imitation of swishing mouthwash around inside his mouth with that annoying VO guy saying, "Don't wimp out now. You can do it!" Then the guy bends forward to spit it out, or so the implication goes, but of course since it's never actually shown it only goes to reason that the guy never had anything in his mouth at all. But then I knew that all along from the very first time I say that ad a couple of years or so ago.
Speaking of listerine, there was a commercial
aired around 1992 that featured a Listerine
bottle swinging through the jungle with a song
that went "ooooeooooeoooooeoo" (can't remember the name, the song was done back sometime in the
80's). I always though it was cool, and the
whole commercial was CGI remdered. The GFX was
on par with what you might see in the series
"Reboot".
I dislike any commercial with retired / semi-retired actors / actresses.
What they're REALLY saying in those commercials is:
"HELP! I'm out of work! I can't land any TV or movie roles! Now I gotta stoop to this new low and do dumb TV commercials about this product!"
(And it's usually about personal hygiene or insurance)
I believe the Listerine song was "Tarzan Boy" by Baltimora.
From another board...
I ABHOR the commerical with the overweight Sally Struthers asking food for starving kids in Africa.
It had me thinking..."Gee Sally, Why don't YOU donate some of that food that you eat to starving kids...that way you won't be so overweight!"
They're running that stupid Disney two-fer ad campaign again (see my post of March 1, 2004).
Basically, they're some guy calling places up and asking if they do that two-fer like Disneyland.
I can't help but wonder how the Empire Carpet guy feels about the fact that's he's been replaved by a 3-D CGI character.
However, their jingle is catchy. The other day my sister mentioned that she was going to call them for a quote, and I rattled off the jingle...
She thanked me because she couldn't remember the number!
I had forgotten that Ajax commercial, and that song "Tarzan Boy" until I read the posts here.
Speaking of Ajax - Did I imagine this, or does someone sing "Stronger Than Dirt" during the last four bars of The Doors "Touch Me?"
Adam Bomb -- it's there!! Caught me by surprise the first time I heard it too. I was using it to practice my karaoke...
Here's one for the record books - Honda is advertising their cars as "pedestrian safe," or something that implies that the car will reduce pedestrian injuries if the driver indeed hits one. Now, somewhere, some moronic cretin will now think it's OK to hit pedestrians, due to that car commercial. Whether he/she drives a Honda or not.
Well that is interesting. But considering how the EU is goign to be requiring all cars to be pedestrian safe by I think it is 2008 I guess they are getting the jump on them.
The new Eu requirements are goign to change the way cars look so it should be fun.
In the 1970's there was a "Nestle Crunch" commercial which featured a group of bratty kids singing in a movie theater about Nestle Crunch. A minute later, a female usher enters and tells them to be quiet. Suddenly, after taking a bite out of the candy bar, the female usher joins in the chorus of bratty kids singing about Nestle Crunch.
Where was this woman's supervisor?
If he / she was at the theater, did he / she get after the female usher for not silencing the singing, bratty kids?
She was lucky to still have a job after this incident!
Also at the end, one of the kids is holding the candy bar upside down.
Let's say Mr. Whipple does not own the store where he works....
Why is it only OK for Mr. Whipple to squeeze the Charmin?
I must add that in the latter years of Charmin commercials Mr. Whipple caves in and invites people to squeeze it.
I also detest the commercials where a visitor in another person's house opens the person's kitchen / bathroom cabinets without asking.
My reply? Stay out of my cabinets!
Looks like old Wilford Brimley's either been fired or decided to quit those Liberty ads himself cuz now Phylicia Rashad, Delta Burke (IIRC) and one or two other has-beens are now spokespeople for it.
For a few weeks GM/Chevrolet has ran TV ads about how you can now get their cars for the same price that their employees pay for them, and now guess who's joined the fray? That's right: Ford and Dodge! And Dodge even brought back Lee Iococca!
And those awful PeoplePC ads are annoying cuz they try to make it seem as if you're getting a great deal with their service - which is dialup! They're probably trying to hold on to the fading dialup scene since more and more people are going to DSL, and with SBC now offering it for only $14.95/mo with a year's committment, paying only $3 more for SBC than PeoplePC is a hell of a better deal for so much faster speeds. Which do you think will do the most business between those two?
Ol' Wilford was fired because he just couldn't help blurting out "And eat yer oatmeal!" when the cameras were running.
Mr. Brimley also does ads for some mail order insulin prescription house. B.B. King does ads for a blood self-testing device. Those ads don't take seriously enough a possibly fatal ailment. My friend Gwen died unexpectedly from the complications of her diabetes. She was only 52 years old, but looked not a day over 35. I'll miss her badly.
I hate those **** Cash Call ads with Coleman(sp) in
it. It's so sad to see this actor having to do these
commercials because his career has ended, especialy one that is all about money. :\
There's an infomercial being broadcast in the LA area (It's on right now as I type!) for a service called "Consumers Credit Choice". I swear this thing must have been designed to kill whatever remaining braincells one has left. Loud alarms and buzzers, garish CGI graphics, including a cheap looking "star warp" effect, interviews with aparent customers in some of the most bleak, sterile office settings imaginable, tons of ultra-boring stock footage of cars driving, and lost and lots of repeition.
Mark N: The business plan of most bail bondsmen is that they pay the bail of low flight risk, non dangerous criminals, in exchange for a fee that totals around 10% of the full bail.
One of the new commercials for the Jeep Commander shows it driving out of the ocean with the commercial starting from a shot inside looking at a fish throuhg the sunroof and then water sliding down over it.
What bugs me is that they have to put a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen telling people that the thing is not suitable for underwater travel. How many brain cells does one have to have burned off before they think that an SUV can double as a submarine?
Sadly, the manufacturers MUST put that disclaimer on the screen...just in case some idiot tries to do the stunt. (To prevent lawsuits)
True I guess there is someone somewhere stupid enough to think they could do that. I know jeeps are tough but they arnt that tough.
I abhor the Classic Right Guard commercials which features the dual medicine cabinet.
(Man from other side: "BYE, GUY!")
Who designed these apartments anyway?
Who's to say if neighbor #1 didn't peek in on the wife of neighbor #2 while she was showering? (or vice-versa)
Not to mention the accidental (or deliberate) use of their neighbor's toiletries
Do these landlords condone voyeurism and theft?
There's ads for a "natural male enhancement" named Enzyte that Spike TV plays ad nauseum. The lead character is some dude called "Bob." He has his face frozen into a vacuous smile, sort of like the lead character had in the old film Mr. Sardonicus.
The company that makes enzyte was investigated and I think shut down (or at least fined heavy) by the government for making false claims in their ads.
In the 1970's there was a "Nestle Crunch" commercial which featured a group of bratty kids singing in a movie theater about Nestle Crunch. A minute later, a female usher enters and tells them to be quiet. Suddenly, after taking a bite out of the candy bar, the female usher joins in the chorus of bratty kids singing about Nestle Crunch.
Where was this woman's supervisor?
If he / she was at the theater, did he / she get after the female usher for not silencing the singing, bratty kids?
She was lucky to still have a job after this incident!
Also at the end, one of the kids is holding the candy bar upside down.
Her supervisor was going to fire her, but she gave es a Nestle Crunch and es forgot all about it and started singing with her.
One of the new commercials for the Jeep Commander shows it driving out of the ocean with the commercial starting from a shot inside looking at a fish throuhg the sunroof and then water sliding down over it.
What bugs me is that they have to put a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen telling people that the thing is not suitable for underwater travel. How many brain cells does one have to have burned off before they think that an SUV can double as a submarine?
What bugs me is that jeep made an ad showing it doing this thing that would be so absurd for it to do. I mean, if it can't do it, then what the #$@! was the &?!$ing point of making a %$^!ing commercial showing it $@%^ing doing it???!!!
Geez, I miss my Jeep.
The company that makes enzyte was investigated and I think shut down (or at least fined heavy) by the government for making false claims in their ads.
How can that be? They don't make any claims. Then again, they did change "generous swelling of pride" to "a little more self esteem."
Singing coach. A program which allegedly teaches people how to sing. It shows a bunch of people singing horribly off key, then shows the after shot of the same people suddenly singing in fancy clothes in front of a big sparkly background and sounding almost exactly the same except maybe a little louder. Then it shows more people singing songs like "America the Beautiful" for all their family and friends and their family being incredibly impressed and giving huge applauses. This commercial is just annoying.
Also the new round of Jell-O commercials have this annoying Jello jiggle jingle.
No they don't make any direct and explicit claims in their tv ads, but they sure use a lot of innuendo. They do or at least did make such claims in their print materials and their website i think has had some direct and explicit claims.
(I know about their print materials thanks to the exgirlfriend signing me up to receive info about it. A rather personal cheap shot in a long ugly battle.)
There's a commercial for a minivan (Chrysler, I think) that's been playing a lot lately. In it, a woman is seen taking a brand new teddy bear out of its package, and doing everything she can to make it look worn (including washing the van with it.) When all this business is over with, she gives the bear to her little girl, who screams with glee "Teddy!!" Apparently, the mom in the commercial bought a duplicate of a toy her daughter had lost, and is passing off the ringer as the real thing, newly re-discovered. But...kids know their own toys, tattered or not, and they know when they're being fooled as well.
Trident
In the late 60's - early 70's, Trident boasted that "4 out of 5 dentists reccomend sugarless gum for their patients that chew gum."
I can't help but womder if that "5th dentist" ever caved in and began recommending sugarless gum for his patients.
Classic Doritos
Remember those late 1960's - early 70's Dorotos commercials where the guy with the big fuzzy mustache chomped on a Dorito so hard, it made a loud crunching noise, which caused the person next to him to fall over?
Take my word for it...this doesn't happen when you bite into a Dorito. (Unless you dipped in heavily in Garlic)
I believe he was played by Avery Schreiber
*CRUNCH!* You're right!
Thanks, TomM!
In the late 60's - early 70's, Trident boasted that "4 out of 5 dentists reccomend sugarless gum for their patients that chew gum."
I can't help but wonder if that "5th dentist" ever caved in and began recommending sugarless gum for his patients.
That question has been answered.
Now you can sleep easy again instead of lying awake at night wondering about it
I'm surprised that the "Trident Mafia" hasn't tried to break that dentist's kneecaps by now....
Here's the scene:
Trident Thug: Whattya say now, Doc?
Dentist # 5: NO GUM!
(Thug slaps dentist # 5)
Trident Thug: Whattya say now, Doc?
Dentist # 5: NO GUM!
(Thug slaps dentist # 5)
etc. etc....
Pearls Before Swine comments on the Fifth Dentist.
And again, 2 days later.
I love that strip. I read it whenever I can.
Shower To Shower
Are we expected to believe that people sing "Shower to Shower each day, helps keep odors away!" in elevators and other locations to complete strangers?
Somebody get some strait jackets for those dolts & ship 'em to Belview!
THERE ARE FOUR DENTISTS!!
A commercial that has 2 squrrils make a car swerve and crash makes me sick. I hit a bike once (in the 70s) and the man didn't get hurt at least. He was on his red and I was on my green. At least he ddin't blame me for anything.
Calgon Bath Soap
In the 70's - 80's there was a commercial featuring a housewife who yells, "The Baby! The Telephone! The Dog! The Doorbell! CALGON! TAKE ME AWAY!" (Or something like that) She then slips away into the tub to relax in Calgon.
That's all fine and good....
BUT.....
What about the screaming kid? Did she leave him/her unattended to starve or to get into the cubbards and ingest poison?
What about the dog? Did she leave the dog unattended to destroy the furniture, take a dump on the rug or starve?
What about the phone? It could have been the hospital saying that her husband is in the hospital and needs a blood transfusion.
What about the doorbell? It could have been Ed McMann and the "Reader's Digest Sweepstakes" and she just blew her one and only chance of winning.
In other words, the woman was irresponsible and was more concerned about her own comfort & needs and not about the comfort and needs of others.
I heard that the man who plays the hyper-excited old guy from those annoying "Six Flags" commercial was fired recently.
Rumor has it that he's gay.
By R on Monday, January 09, 2006 - 04:39 pm:
The company that makes enzyte was investigated and I think shut down (or at least fined heavy) by the government for making false claims in their ads.
Enzyte is still running the "Bob" ads on late nite TV.
Well isnt that lovely. They must have just fined them instead of closing them, bummer. I had only heard the news report in the side of my ears so I guess I didnt catch it all.
Nothing to do with anything (except that Viagra is a "male enhancement",) but Rush Limbaugh was recently detained at the Palm Beach airport for posession of Viagra. That in itself rates a "So what?", but the prescription bottles were in the names of Limbaugh's doctors, and not Limbaugh. More on that here
Oh big surprise will they please just throw that bloated windbag into jail for treatment like any other criminal druggie. What a freaking hypocrit he is.
Brimley's Liberty Mutual ads are still playing! "You know there are still some people who don't know the cost of their testing supplies..." Hey, Wilford, did you know that there are still people out there who don't give a flying fart? I've also seen that a new one with some other middleage-to early senior aged spokesperson is also now playing.
The various scooter ads to help people "regain their mobility." There's the Scooter Store one where the owner starts out, "A short while ago this woman couldn't get around. A month ago this man..." or something like that. Ok, first off, when the ad was finished filming and first aired it was a lot more than a month afterwards. That right there makes it false advertising. Secondly, when you play the ad several times a day for months or years then it was no longer just a month ago or a short while when those people were unable to get around, so that makes it false advertising as well. Third, the dorky looking operator dude who says, "If there's a way, we'll find it!" I seriously doubt he works for the Scooter Store now or ever has and probably only works as an actor in commercials (not that I've seen him in any others) or for the company that made the ad. If so then that's also false advertising. Fourth, they just happen to catch the old guy sitting in his chair in his shop or classroom or garage teaching some kid (his grandson?) woodworking? Of course not; it's all staged. That also makes it false advertising. I can't believe anything about that ad is truthful.
Then you've got the Hoveround chairs with the overweight old lady who sings, "You Made Me Love You" about her chair. I guess the ad makers thought it'd be cute to show an old lady singing an old song very badly off-key in order to appeal to their main demographic, old folks who need mobility chairs. I don't find that ad cute, just annoying so I'll either mute the volume or change the channel. And all the ads for those kinda chairs all say they'll work with your insurance or Medi-Cal or what have you "...at little to no cost to you." Yeah, how often do you think they let people have free chairs with their insurance or whoever footing the entire bill? Not very often, I'd assume. And jsut what exactly do they mean by "little cost"? Paying only 5-10% 20%? They of course don't say.
Then you've got those stupid AAA insurance ads with the Anne Heche lookalike named "Jill" going into a laundry store that she's parked right out in front of and it just happens to be located at the bottom of a steep hill (kinda looks like San Francisco to me) and there just happens to be a guy whose car is rolling downhill on a collision course with Jill's car and when it hits she jumps! Doesn't turn around or anything in anger to see what happned. She just jumps. Then the VO guy blathers on about a roadside kit which includes a single-use throwaway camera and other items. Why the camera? What if you go years without an accident that you'd need that camera for and by the time you might need it its battery is dead? Then what use is the camera to you, especially if it's the only one you've got?
There's a very simple fact about ads: they're 99.99999999......% false, if not in what they say about their service or product then in how they present the service or ad. There's supposed to be laws against false advertising but apparently no one enforces it
Um MAZrk the camera in that kit is an old fashioned film type camera. Not digital, totally non-powered. Archaic I know but hey it still works.
And there are no true ads on tv, all of them are false in one way or another. Corporate america lies to use whenever and whereever they can. Which is all the time.
Then the VO guy blathers on about a roadside kit which includes a single-use throwaway camera and other items. Why the camera? What if you go years without an accident that you'd need that camera for and by the time you might need it its battery is dead?
Mark, disposable film cameras don't need batteries.
The purpose of the camera is so that you can take pictures of the car *at the accident scene* for insurance purposes.
"HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO YOUR FOREHEAD!!"
"HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO YOUR FOREHEAD!!"
"HEAD ON! APPLY DIRECTLY TO YOUR FOREHEAD!!"
Those WallMart comercials with the person frozen as they're looking at their bill.
One is a camera guy at a news broadcast.
Way to go smart guy. You're gonna need cheap merchandise if you keep working like that (if you know what I mean).
Do I want to know how WallMart affords such cheap prices or is guessing just going to provoke an argument?
Another is a mother at a Museum. Why would she bring her WallMart bags into the museum? Okay, maybe she walked there.
The doritos comericals where the guy chooses to ward off a bleeping bear by choosing which side of the dorito to bite. In one of them, the nimrod pets the bear!
James Garner is now shilling for some reverse mortgage broker. I think reverse mortgages can be a rip-off, if you don't watch yourself, but use this link to make up your own mind.
"Mom, have you ever had that...not so fresh feeling?"
As for one-shot cameras, yeah, I know why they're included with those car accident kits but I didn't know they didn't use batteries. I just thought they did.
I hate the Dr. Z ads, most especially the one about the hemis with that uglyass guy playing a director who gets exasperated and says, "Actors!" I didn't like him in his earlier ads cuz he wasn't funny and he hasn't changed in that one. Addendum: it just came on!
Commercials are all false advertising, if not in what they say about their service or product then in their presentation.
One new ad that I absolutely loathe and is ripe for nitpicking is the extra strength Excederin one with Poseidon causing an ocean storm because he's got a headache. There's a small sailboat being tossed around, the nongender specific passenger (though it kinda looks like a woman) falls backwards, hits a medicine cabinet which is outside the cabin instead of inside (why?) and gets knocked open and apparently the only thing that falls overboard is the aspirin which sinks even though it's in a sealed plastic bottle and then Poseidon, off-camera we're supposed to believe, takes some and instantaneously his headache is cured! Then the CGI sea is calm again and there's a CGI sky and a CGI dolphin jumping out of the water and all is well again. Isn't that nice?
I always hated those "Ring Around The Collar!" ads. The poor woman always looked so flustered and mortified, instead of saying, "Well, if my husband would scrub his neck occasionally...."
A little late, but - there is a song by Petula Clark titled "Color My World." (Sorry, John.) Here's the lyrics.
Anyone likes Mike's Supershort show on Disney?
Anyone likes Mike's Supershort show on Disney?
And this is on the "Commercials that drive me (us) MAD!" board, why?
Curious -it s a two minute commercial featuring shows and dvds coming soon on Disney.
I guess anonymous dont watch the Disney channel!
Thanks, Adam...I knew the song existed because my dad has the 33 1/3 album of Petula Clark singing that song.
What I really hate, mostly because I'm a nonsmoker, are the BS Philip Morris ads telling parents to talk to their kids about smoking cuz the kids will listen. No, they won't! And PM knows it, and we know they know it. In fact, it's no secret that impressionable kids are their easiest target audience since a good many of them don't have the sense to not start smoking in the first place, regardless of why they do start smoking. My parents used to smoke and it drove me crazy. I also never hung out with kids who did smoke and to this day I've never put one single piece of smoking paraphenalia of any sort to my lips, let alone taken even one puff, a fact I'm very proud of. But those ads try to deflect away from the biggest tobacco company in America (if not the world) their goal of getting kids to buy their products. They're supposed to make PM come across as a caring company that doesn't want your kids to start smoking when in fact they're really hoping the kids will. Since Joe Camel and other such ads targeting kids are now banned in many places (or all? Is it a Federal thing?) it's put a big crimp in the tobacco industry's efforts to persuade kids into smoking but of course not for long since they've got some clever marketing people working for them to serreptitiously still target kids. Those ads are so obviously false through and through and any smart person or parents can see right through them and won't believe a single word they're espousing. I hope all of you can also see right through them.
And that ends my anti-smoking rant.
It's no secret that impressionable kids are their easiest target audience...
It was well reported over the past few days that teenage girls have taken up smoking, imitating Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie in Sex And The City. My rant over that is on the board "The Tobacco Industry and Smokers' Rights" over at PM. I don't know whether or not her smoking in SATC constitutes product placement, as Parker smokes in real life.
and I think Curious is Rene too
No, he's not.
ok,ScottN
Geico's got some new commercials running where they have normal everyday people accompanied by has-been celebs (Little Richard, Charo) and now the newest one I've seen has that "movie trailer announcer" guy, Don LaFontaine, so now you know who he is and what he looks like, which to me is G. Gordon Liddy. I've noticed that he also does VO's for other commercials.
Classic Imperial Margarine
Do the makers of Imperial Margarine REALLY expect us to believe that if you use their margarine, you will be coronated king or queen?
As a 6 year old kid, I believed it.
ScottN believed it would lead to him being named Queen...
ScottN believed it would lead to him being named Queen...
On second thought, Moderator, could you please can my snide comment there?
Done.
Oh, man, I really wanted to read Scott's snide remarks, too! Phooey!
Sometime in the late 70's, Frank Cady from "Green Acres" starred on a dog food commercial for "Fit & Trim". He would talk to the female customers who brought their dogs into the store for some dog food. Frank would say, "You should get 'Fit & Trim'."
First of all, are dogs allowed in the store? In most cases, they are not. The excemption is when the dog is used to help a blind person.
Secondly, Frank is lucky he didn't get a crack in the jaw for saying, "You should get 'Fit & Trim'" to his customers. He should have said, "You should try this new dog food called 'Fit & Trim'."
anyon seen these-
When they start charging banks for talking to the teller? Was that a Green Acre actor who did that commercial?
the funny cartoon bears use the toilet paper..
the Geico commercial show the runaway car slamming into Jill's car.
the cavemen can do it too.
the 2 squirrals hi fiveing after the car swerves.
Cal Worthington and his Camel (dog), Spot! (80s commercial in L.A.)
geeez, someone took away my E.
oh, and the start showing Xmas commercials already.One year, they started advertising after labor day.
The 1-976 Call Me Girls on late night telly.
maybe I should call one of them up and say Suicide Hotline- can you hold please?
I positively hate the new Gap commercials, with a resurrected Audrey Hepburn dancing. I doubt the late Ms. hepburn would approve of her image being used to sell tight pants. (Incidentally, local WCBS-TV weathercaster Audrey Puente was named after Audrey Hepburn. She's the daughter of the late musician Tito Puente.)
the funny cartoon bears use the toilet paper..
Do you get the none-too-subtle subtext there? Bears...in the woods...selling toilet paper. Get it? I laughed so hard when it first hit me.
And Adam, I knew that had to be Audrey Hepburn but since I've not seen that particular film of hers (My Fair Lady was the only one of hers that I have seen) I didn't know which one it was but I got to wondering is it really her or a lookalike? There's also a local TV ad that uses AC/DC's Back In Black so that Gap ad wasn't too surprising to me.
Markn------------zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
, ps where you at?
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or the Xmas polar bears drinking coke.Hiccup.
It's from "Funny Face," which featured Fred Astaire as well, another celebrity who was resurrected to dance in commercials (this time for Dirt Devil).
I find the Hepburn commercial perversely fascinating--it has sort of a hypnotic feel.
NEW COMMERCIAL:
They've "resurrected" Orville Redenbacker....by using a CGI version of the deceased popcorn mogul. From what I read, it looks pretty fake.
You sure it's not some guy in heavy makeup, John? They tried to resurrect Col. Sanders (who died in 1980) a number of years ago, using a heavily made-up actor. That campaign didn't last too long, though. (Redenbacher died in 1995, by the way.)
A current Geico commercial has one of the cavemen talking to a therapist. She looks an awful lot like Lorraine Braccco's Sopranos character Dr. Melfi.
I believe its CGI.
I doubt that this will turn out well.
Why does Barney Rubble constantly steal Fred Flintstone's Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles Cereal? (Or trick him in some ridiculous way) Is Barney some kind of lazy deadbeat that he can't go out to the store and buy his own cereal?
This format is VERY TIRED. I think it's time to create new commercials for Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles.
Radio Commercial:
Account-Temps
There's a discussion between "Nerlman" (employee) and "Mr. Fernwell" (employer) about the three extra zeros on their paychecks. "Nerlman" says he'll fix the problem...after he cashes his paycheck.
Wouldn't this considered embezzlement?
Personally, I like the Account-Temps "sore throat" commercial better
I'll fix that problem, Mr John A. Lang-Fernwell!
Lucky Charms
Why do those idiotic kids always chase after Lucky the Lepracaun to get his "Lucky Charms" cereal?
Why don't those kids go home and ask their mom to go to the store and BUY some "Lucky Charms" cereal and leave poor Lucky alone?!
Or is that "too much work"?
Viva Paper Towels...
The one where the kid squirts his mom with the soda & the mom fires backs with the sink rinser device.
Like I said, A spanking is a more realistic approach to the situation
Getting back to Account-Temps, their recent commercials aren't that funny. Get back to basics, guys!
Those gum comercials that show people like Mr T, and Tom Selek (?) with just their mouth moving as they pop a couple of pieces of gum into their mouths and chew it. I find those comericals rather aggitating.
How about that Glade commercial with the elephant and centipede as a married couple?
Even better, there used to be a Dyson commercial which described the vacuum as exerting "100,000 times the force of gravity". Apparently, Dyson has figured out how to create artifical black holes!
A bit off topic, but - my girlfriend has a Dyson. Paid a lot of money for it. And, she hates it, as it works terribly. Doesn't pick up much, if anything.
There's a commercial, in which a girl on her way to school is talked to by a talking piece of bite-sized Shredded Wheat. I think the commercial is for Kellogg's. Well, Malt-O-Meal frosted shredded wheat (it's called "Mini-Spooners") tastes just as good as Kellogg's does, and costs a lot less. Just a shameless plug for my favorite cereal. Try it, if you can find it (it's at most Wal-Marts).
I've heard bad things about Dysons myself. I haven't tried the Wal-Mart brand of shredded wheat, but the Target (or Targhetto, as myself and my family like to call it) brand tastes just like Kelloggs as well.
Back to the topic. I'm not a fan of those Wendy's commercials with the guy playing Wendy. I wonder what made the advertising execs come up with that one?
Those commercials for some cell-phone company, where the parent and child are arguing (or are they?) over the phone bill and minutes are so annoying. I don't have a cell phone, and it will take a lot for me to get one. Annoying ads won't sway me one way or another.
The one for a type of cerial (I think) and at the end of it a woman screams "Laaaaaaaaaaa" in a really loud and annoying voice.
Every time it comes on while I'm on the computer with the idiot box on in the background, it scares the heck out of me.
The Food Network is plagued by those Hyundai commercials that sing "Duh" to the tune of Also Sprach Zarathustra (the 2001 theme to you non-classical fans). I would not buy a car from a company that apparently thinks its customer base is stupid. (Of course, that could be said for the way a lot of companies advertise...)
Those Burger King commercials with the King character fill me with hate. Sign of the apocalypse I am convinced.
I thought the DirectTV commercials that were cut into classic movies were cool until the Aliens one. Now I just want to take a saw to the exoskeleton and let the xenomorph eat Riley.
The Burger King King is a very disturbing character. He almost looks like a child molester.
Those commercials that show people in a garden shop, coffee house, commons area... and everything is so perfectly efficient paying with credit card, until somebody pays with cash and everything shuts down. Gimme a break. You still have to wait for processing time and receipt printing, which should be about the same time as paying with cash.
The Burger King King does look like a child molester! I've actually stopped going to BK since that character was introduced, except one time for a Simpsons cup. Does 7 11 still have Simpsons themed stuff?
Dont squeeze the Charmin !
They made of of me, my name is close to it..
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the Burger King guy looks kinda gay to me.
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Where's the Beeeeef!
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Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce etc
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the 7up commercials singers(we see the light?), and the coke one in the 70s
CLASSIC SANKA:
Robert Young enters the scene and offers someone Sanka decaffinated coffee to help them "settle down".
First of all, isn't Robert Young's entrance into people's homes and yards considered "trespassing on private property"?
Second...Does he (or Sanka) really believe that drinking THEIR COFFEE will help someone "settle down"? In my opinion, some people are grumpy no matter what they drink!
Finally...Robert Young returns "a few weeks later" to "check up" on the "grumpy person".
Isn't this considered "stalking" and "invasion of privacy"?
The Burger King does look like a child molester, even in those "Simpsonfied" commercials. They should cross promote him with man-Wendy.
I hate it when GM uses the same commercial for all of its product lines. Come on! Show a little originality.
The dumb Grab life by the Horns Dodge Ram commercial ends with Hit It!
they hire a bunch singers to sing 2 words???
Wasn't Robert Young an alcoholic? According to IMDB, he was a drinker for 30 years.
There's a commercial for Free Credit Report.com, which runs every morning during Star Trek at the same time. A young guy in a pirate outfit is strumming a guitar in a restaurant while bemoaning that his identity was stolen, and he sings that he should have gone to Free Credit Report.com. The song he sings is dorky, but catchy. If my identity was stolen, the last thing I'd be doing is singing about it. By the way, my girlfriend tells me that it's not free; the first thing they ask you for is a credit card number.
the cold remedy commercials when they dive in with their clothes on! one of those drive me batty, if your really sick..you should be in bed!
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also the id theft people emulate thier theifs' voices..does that mean the thief got caught?
Re: Free Credit Report
There's a similar series of ads running in the U.K, for Capital One credit cards, plugging their anti-identity theft feature, starring a bank manager questioning a middle aged woman, who apparently has been attending Heavy Metal concerts, Biker Conventions etc, as a result of someone "stealing" her identity....
The sequel, had a 30's something man, attending ballet lessons, etc.....
All those commercials for Zales jewelry stores are driving me MAD!! They play the intro piano riff for Vanessa Carlton's song "A Thousand Miles" over and over again. That's almost (but not quite) as bad as Celine Dion singing Heart's "Alone." I saw Vanessa Carlton last summer (not by choice - she was with Stevie Nicks) and she performed "A Thousand Miles" last. And, only once.
I hate, HATE, HATE that American Express commercial with Tina Fey. She's called upon to handle every single minute detail of some show she's the "showrunner" (a term I despise as much as I do the ad) of. Then, she gets a call from American Express, asking her if she ordered 50,000 tennis balls, or something equally outrageous. She says "No," and the friendly Amex voice says that the charge will be removed. Fey than says "I don't have to do anything?" and "The Man From A.M.E.X." says "No." Fey is then rushed away to handle something else that went wrong. I mean, I sincerely doubt that Fey handles every single detail on 30 Rock herself; she has assistants and other production people to do that. (Did Roddenberry handle every detail on Star Trek himself? No, he probably blew it off to Bob Justman.) Plus, the ad is just plain annoying.
There's a radio commercial for "Town & Country" vehicles where a man is singing "It's Town & Country Time" (Sung to: "Na-Ra-Ta-Boom-De-Ay") at 3AM. The wife joins in later when she hears the price.
I seriously doubt people get up at 3AM and sing about car sales.
Target has a series of ads out using a cover of The Beatles "Hello Goodbye" as background music. But - I have no clue what the ads are trying to say. Do you?
Target has had those incomprehensible ads for about a year and a half or so. I'm still not sure what they're trying to promote, Target-brand-wise.
"Good Buy", perhaps? "You say, 'Hello' and I say, 'Good buy'." That's about the best I can come up with.
I miss Spot, the "Target Dog" (actually a bull terrier). At least those ads made sense. And, Spot was a handsome pooch.
How come we never see any interracial couples in that "E-Harmony" commercial, where the people in the ad met the "love of their life" via E-Harmony? Some of the happy couples who met via E-Harmony must be interracial. Maybe they just don't want to go on TV. (Remember that Seinfeld episode, where Elaine thought the guy she was dating was black, while the guy thought Elaine was Hispanic? No real point to that minor mention; just think the episode is funny.)
There's a commercial for Kia, in which it's stated that "the car is so fuel effiicient you'll forget which side the gas filler is on." That's a crock of baloney, as most cars these days have arrows on the gas gauge that point out what side the gas filler door is on. Including my girlfriend's 2004 Kia Rio.
Wrigley's Spearmint Gum used to run commercials in the late 60's through the late 70's of people carrying a pack of gum the size of a surfboard.
How could someone get a piece of gum that big in one's mouth?
(Yes...I know it was to emphasize the "big fresh flavor", but it still looks silly)
By Adam Bomb on Thursday, March 20, 2008 - 10:17 am:
There's a commercial for Kia, in which it's stated that "the car is so fuel effiicient you'll forget which side the gas filler is on." That's a crock of baloney, as most cars these days have arrows on the gas gauge that point out what side the gas filler door is on. Including my girlfriend's 2004 Kia Rio.
If that's the same ad I'm thinking of, there's a scene where the wife is sitting in the passenger side front seat, looking in the rear-view mirror shaking her head at her hapless husband. What bothers me about that is that from her vantage point, she'd have to re-adjust the rear-view mirror to enable herself her to see him. Must've been pretty annoying for him to get back in and re-adjust it!
NINE LIVES:
If I had a cat as finiky as Morris, I'd sell it for a cat that would aprreciate the food I gave it, or say, "I'm not made of money, Morris, eat that off-brand cat food or starve!"
After which Morris would sneak into your room at night, destroy your shoes and eat your children. He's that evil.
GEICO has hit bottom. They have a commercial in which the "celebrity" is not Joan Rivers, The Pips or even the Cavemen. It's "Mrs. Butterworth." Yep, it's a talking bottle of maple syrup. I'm cracking up at the sheer stupidity of it as I write this.
The one with the family singing that "r e s p e c t" song but about cheese (or some other darn thing).
Sunsilk shampoo now uses different film clips of Madonna at different phases of her career, all to promote their stuff. I doubt she shot or recorded anything new, and she's doubtless getting big bucks to re-use her old material.
If I was given a choice between spending the rest of my life listening to nothing but Madonna, or deafness, I'd choose deafness.
There's some radio commercials that feature talking car parts....
Announcer: And now a word from your....
(Announcer picks one of the following)
A. Turn signals
B. Tires
C. Windshield Wipers
D. Oil Change Sticker
And lastly...
E. Air Valve Cover
AIR VALVE COVER (?!)
THAT'S A TAD RIDICULOUS, GUYS!
7-Up has a commercial that for some reason, I've always heard, but never seen in its entirety (probably because when a commercial comes on, I'm immediately doing something else).
It has something to do with a woman finding something in her kitchen, and burping rabbits. The thing that gets me every time is her blood-curdling scream, and the fact that they always play it twice within the same commercial block. This is usually on either the Discovery or History Channel.
Granted, it is a great scream, suitable for any horror movie, but hearing it twice in two minutes from another room always gets my heart pounding.
Heard the commercial again this morning.
It's from Ford-Mercury Dealers
We also hear from the car keys
It's from Ford-Mercury Dealers
We also hear from the car keys
Unfortunately, you don't hear from Mercury spokesperson Jill Wagner.
We have annoying commercials on the cable system from Bay Ridge Honda, touting their late night service. Their service department is open until midnight, for all you insomniacs who need thair Accords serviced. The commercials are kind of dumb, using scenes from old movies together with new voice-overs. They hit bottom with a zombified guy allegedly moaning "Disc Brakes."
I posted, a while back...
If I go the rest of my life and never need a lawyer again, I'll be a very happy man.
I may have been a bit premature in that statement. I'll have to go back to my lawyer between now and the time I retire, for them to make out what's called a "Domestic Relations Order." Basically, it's a court order that instructs my employer's pension system how to divide my pension between me and my ex when I retire, since pensions were declared marital assets in the case of Majauskas v. Majauskas. For all you legal eagles, the case is outlined here.
Tina Fey "stars" in yet another American Express commercial, this time with Martin Scorsese. Let me see if I get this right - Ms. Fey buys a coach ticket on some flight, as first class is sold out. (Ooh, poor Tina!) Scorsese wants to talk to her in the lounge. Of course, Fey thinks he wants her for one of his movies. (Yeah. I can see Tina Fey starring in one of Scorsese's gritty crime films. Can't you?) Fey is denied admission to the lounge - until she flashes her AmEx platinum card. I won't spoil the end for you, but it's really dumb.
Kfc has them actors getting very soggy eating their food...
(especially the one in the grey pants suit)
Tetly used to have commercials where someone would be on a bike or something and take a fall that in reality would cause them to break their neck. Then someone would scream "IT'S TEA TIME! TETLY!"
Maddening!
A new commercial for Pizza Rolls is a bit dumb. Actress Corinne Bohrer plays a mom, who just microwaved three or four "Rolls" on a plate. Next thing you know, her (never seen) son puts his fist through the wall, grabs the pizza rolls and says "Thanks Mom." Mom just says "OK." If I were her, I'd say to the son "You're paying for a drywall guy to fix that." BTW, I can't believe Ms. Bohrer is now 50. She looks 20 years younger.
There's TV and print ads for a fake fireplace named the "Amish Mantle." The ads show Amish men assembling them. Those men can't be real Amish, as the strict Amish do not allow their faces to be photographed. Also, the fake fireplace reminds me of the M*A*S*H episode where Hawkeye and BJ order a similar item from Sears-Roebuck. More on the Amish Mantle here.
There's a commercial for Jared Jewelers that drive me positively mad. Two women are sitting at a table, reading text messages from a friend, who's apparently on a date with some guy. The third woman is texting every aspect of her date to her friends. The two women on the receiving end of the texts go positively ga-ga when the third texts "He went to Jared" and sends them a picture of a necklace he bought her. The commercial ends when the two text to the third "Does he have brothers?" The ad stinks in a couple of ways. First, wouldn't the guy feel like a fifth wheel on his own date, as his girlfriend feels that what she shows to her friends matters more than the guy she's with. Second, it reinforces a belief that a lot of men have. Namely, that to a woman, a man is his wallet and nothing more. Just like the subject of this little ditty from Snopes.
Also, isn't "Jared" that guy in the "Subway" ads, who lost a lot of weight?
Cheapbooks.com
Adam Bomb wrote:
"GEICO has hit bottom. They have a commercial in which the "celebrity" is not Joan Rivers, The Pips or even the Cavemen. It's "Mrs. Butterworth." Yep, it's a talking bottle of maple syrup. I'm cracking up at the sheer stupidity of it as I write this."
So was I, Adam. Also, when Peter Framption started hawking Geico, I looked up his profile on Wikipedia to see if he owed back taxes and therefore had to do commercials to pay the *bleeping* IRS off (a-la George Carlin)!
But to my suprise, Pete just did that ad for the fun of it. Who'd a thunk it?
BTW, he sure has lost a lot of hair!
Is dh a spambot, since I've never seen commercials for that site?
It appears to be a site to buy technical manuals and textbooks, Scott.
I actually saw a couple of their commercials this week while at my sister's, and I can see how annoying they could be. I hadn't seen them before, so either they are new, or maybe only play on Dish Network (I have cable at home).
OK. "dh" could have just said a few more words than just the website name, then, such as explaining *why* they were annoying.
Mrs. Butterworth is a much better celeberty spokesperson for car insurace than several celeberites I can think of: OJ Simpson, The Dukes of Hazzard, Britney Spears, Robert Downey, Jr. , etc
I dunno, Mrs. Butterworth's monologue is a bit syrupy. 
On the other hand, it's also like buttah!
Those Swiffer commercials, in which a mop or broom begs back into some disinterested woman's house, while "Baby Come Back" is played, drive me insane!!
The Amish Mantle is now the subject of a 30-minute infomercial, with alleged Amish men building them. I repeat - Those men can't be Amish, as the Amish do not allow their faces to be photographed. If any Amish people are featured on tourist brochures for the Pennsylvania Dutch Country, they are only seen from the back.
Bill O'Reilly always takes the moral high ground on his daily O'Reilly Factor. So, I was a bit surprised when in his broadcast of 2/3/09, a commercial for AshleyMadison.com was run. (If you don't know already, Ashley Madison is a site for married people looking to cheat.) Fox News (or "Faux News", as some persons here call it) almost always spews moralistic nonsense, yet takes ads for a website for cheaters. How hypocritical. So, O'Reilly and Fox News get the "Pinhead" award from yours truly.
I love any cat food commercial (not just "9 Lives") in which cats eat right away when food is put in front of them. Cats eat whenever they please. I just tried to fill the bowl of my ex'es cat, as Kitty implied she was hungry. So, I looked all over for the cat food. Once I found it and filled Kitty's bowl, did she eat? Heck No! Classic Cracker Jack Commercials
quote:
The commercial starts with Jack Gilford sneaking up on a kid and trying to snatch the kid's Cracker Jacks.
Doesn't this guy have any remorse or shame that he has to resort to stealing Cracker Jacks from a little kid?
Remember Jack Gilford as "Simon the Likeable" from the Get Smart episode "And Baby Makes Four"? Everyone liked him. Except 99's mother. You can see the details here (scroll down a bit).
The Volkswagen commercials, with the "old Beetle" (as opposed the the "New Beetle") "talking" in front of a microphone are kind of dumb. But, since the Jetta is a great car to drive, the ad gets a pass from me. BTW, whatever happened to "fahrvergnugen"?
BTW, whatever happened to "fahrvergnugen"?
No one could pronounce it! 
From Family Guy (commercial they're watching):
Girl: "Mom, do you ever get that...not so fresh feeling?"
Mother: "I'm sorry, what? I'm not following you."
Girl: "You know, do you ever feel...not so fresh?"
Mother: "I don't really know what you're--I don't..."
Girl: "You know, down there..."
Mother: "Oh. Oh! Oh God, no, never."
The latest commercial for Progressive car insurance, with "Flo" (played by actress Stephanie Courtney), drives me nuts. A male customer answers some of Flo's questions, and she screams "Discount" after every one. Here's what I'd like to see:
Flo:"Do you have a communicable disease?"
Customer: "Yes."
Flo: "Discount"
F: "Have you served time in prison?"
C: "Yes."
F: "Discount"
Amway has a new ad out that seems to be narrated by New York City sportscaster Len Berman, or someone with a similar voice. My friend from high school sold Amway for a while, and to the both of us, it felt more like a pyramid scheme than a legitimate business. The goal seemed to be to get people to sign on to sell, rather than to sell any products.
From Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amway
Amway was ordered to accompany any such statements with the actual averages per distributor, pointing out that more than half of the distributors do not make any money, with the average distributor making less than $100 per month.
Duracell has a commercial where a mom & her son is in a park. Suddenly, the mom turns around and her son is gone. The mom looks around, sees a white van drive away and begins to panic. She empties out her purse to find her "kid finder" gadget. After a few seconds, the mom finds the kid...safe and sound.
First of all...This is a real-life situation...Stuff like this happens a lot...Sometimes with tragic endings. I think it's in poor taste that Duracell would run this kind of commercial.
Second...I hope that mom remembered to put everything back in her purse before venturing off to find her kid...otherwise she'll have a stolen credit card on top of everything else.
Finally...If I was that mom, I'd smack that kid along the side of the head after finding him for wandering off and nearly giving me a heart attack.
I hit a bike once, fortuneatly no damage to either side,while drving my' dad's caddy
in the 80s so when the stupid comercial
showing the squarrils hi fiving it after they caused
an aalmost accident made me sick to my stomach.
a couple of inches either way i'd be in jail.
sowee 4 the tipos, bad englyand gammer
74, this board is about TV commercials we don't like. Please keep it on topic.
Commercials for the "Sham-Wow" flooded the airwaves for a while. Maybe they still do, and I'm not paying attention. IIRC, the ads say the Sham-Wow is "Not available in stores." But, I've seen them on shelves at Walgreen's. More than once.
Saw them at Target this weekend. Not the full huge set that "Vince" is pushing, though.
I also saw an 8-pack of "Sham Wow" advertised in the latest Kohl's circular. Seems to be only half again of what "Vince" is pushing. For what I think is the same 20 bucks "Vince" asks for.
There are ads that advertise "Fresh Catheters. No sterilizing and re-using" from possibly Liberty Medical. They really turn me off. Maybe it's because I was hospitalized last month, and I had to wear a catheter for over 30 hours. It's quite uncomfortable, and it caused me to be bedridden for almost 24 straight hours. I realize that people do need them. That doesn't make me cringe any less. Does make me a lot more sympathetic to those that do need them, though.
USA Network has a promotion for House that's well, not too bright. A kid is watching House while hospitalized. We than see his family bring him a load of Kentucky Fried Chicken (not coincidentally, KFC sponsors the broadcast.) Outside food like KFC is frowned upon in hospitals, although I've brought stuff up to my dad and my (now-ex) wife when they were hospitalized. Besides, I guess I'm in the minority, but hospital food ain't half bad. In fact, it was kind of good when I was in one.
Does anyone else think that the Fiber One guy is really creepy?
Does anyone else think that the Fiber One guy is really creepy?
I saw him in something other than an ad this past week, probably a Law & Order rerun. I don't think he's really that creepy. But, the ads won't make me give up my Malt-O-Meal Spooners or their Honey-Nut Cheerios knock-off. Also, I haven't priced Fiber One cereals, but I'll bet you they're more expensive than the Malt-O-Meal stuff I buy.
John A. Lang: women who saw Madge the Manicurist acted like she dunked their hands in sulphuric acid....If I was the wife, I'd say, "Look honey, if you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to get your own @#$% Sucrets!"...Are these kids DEAF or something?...Do these manufacturers actually believe that people talk about these things in everyday conversations?
Luigi Novi: LOL!!!!! I had no idea you could be so funny, John. I remember this article in Mad magazine years ago that touched upon the "medical problems in casual conversation" thing you mentioned. The caption asked if commercials expect us to believe a guy would talk openly about his hemorrhoids, and the cartoon featured a guy gesturing to his pharmacist, with a picture of a hirsuite buttocks in his word balloon, and bystanders nearby acting in disgust.
John and Luigi,
Don't forget the heartfelt mother/daughter talks about having a "not so fresh" feeling.
Oh yeah. I remember some of my male classmates in my freshman year at art school joking about that:
"Say, Scott, do you sometimes get that 'not fresh' feeling....?"
"Why yes, Chris, as I matter of fact I do..."
IIRC---that "MAD" cartoon was entitled
"Commercials that drive us MAD"
I think they mentioned the "Sucrets" parody that I posted.
There's a commercial for "Travelocity" in which we see the "Gnome" from the back going through all sorts of different vacation scenarios. Including a roller coaster ride. That reminds me of the opening credits to the Naked Gun movies, in which we see the police gumball go through all sorts of outrageous situations. I almost expect to hear the Police Squad/Naked Gun theme during the ad.
Those annoying AXA Equitable commercials, with the "800 pound gorilla in the room" (so obviously a guy in a gorilla suit) seem to have disappeared. Were there fraud allegations against AXA that made the ads go away?
DirecTV's latest ad uses footage from the 2005 remake of King Kong, with Naomi Watts hawking DirecTV atop the Empire State Building while in Kong's hand. I've enjoyed DirecTV's spoofing familiar movies in their ads, with actors from those flicks. (The ads culling scenes from Twister, Misery and Star Trek VI spring to mind.) But, the King Kong spoof drives me nuts. Maybe it's because I can't stand Naomi Watts.
USA Network has a promotion for House that's well, not too bright. Outside food like KFC is frowned upon in hospitals...
I wonder if most people in hospitals would find KFC's food too filling, heavy, loaded with calories anyway?
Wouldn't they prefer lighter fare like jello and yogurt?
Long ago, William Shatner did an ad for Promise margarine touting its low cholesterol content. Only problem was, he said the people in the study cut down on *all* fats and stuff like that. So if they were cutting down on everything, then of course their cholesterol would be lower! It wouldn't prove anything about the margarine, since everything else they ate was already lower in cholesterol!
In the 80s, Energizer batteries had commercials with Mary Lou Retton, a gymnast, being energetic and saying, "energize me!" So why didn't they have William Shatner saying it and then being beamed up?
A tuna commercial had, "Ask any mermaid you happen to see: What's the best tuna? Chicken of the sea." So why didn't they have a commercial tie-in to that mermaid film with Darryl Hannah?
Sears DieHard batteries should have sponsored those Die Hard movies!
Con Air was a movie, and also a brand of hair dryers, though it's understandable why the hair dryer company passed on that promotion.
Looking for Mr. Goodbar was about a serial killer...but it's the brand of candy. I wonder if the candy company was worried about that title being used?
There was a movie about the Secret of NIMH, and the National Institutes of Mental Health is a real place; I wonder if there were any conspiracy theory fans who thought the movie was based on fact?
Rodney Allan Rippy did a commercial while somebody off-camera was tickling him--as a result, I couldn't tell what he was singing.
I thought he was singing about "Big Boy", a restaurant I'd heard of. He was actually singing about "Jack in the Box", a restaurant I hadn't heard of at the time, but he was giggling too much.
I remember ads with Mason Reese; I didn't think he was cute at all, but I saw him being interviewed on a TV show as an adult and I thought he was much better looking, and spoke more clearly.
A web site has a recent interview with him; he runs a nightclub in Greenwich village.
http://www.nytimes.com/1996/04/10/garden/at-work-with-mason-reese-part-2-hard-part-in-the-life-of-a-former-child-star.html?pagewanted=all
There are a few other sites with interviews of him, if you search for "mason reese" and "greenwich village".
Regarding Ajax's white tornado being unrealistic--it's not a real tornado!
Some unreal things in ads we tolerate, like Jack Gifford wanting the kid's Cracker Jacks. He's a relative, teasing the kid, and the kid doesn't mind.
But some things are just icky.
I remember an ad for some kind of candy, I don't remember what, but the animated candy was singing, "I only have eyes for you." Watching those candy bars or whatever they were, was really unattractive and disturbing.
Grapes singing "I heard it through the grapevine" was a nice idea but it didn't make me want to purchase the product.
There was an ad for jeans in the 80s, using sex to sell--there were 3 models, and one says the Chic brand jeans are in 27 sizes, not 2 or 3. But the models were all the same size, and there were only 3 of them!
Why didn't they show 27 ordinary people, one for each size jeans? It might cost more, but they could save money by having ordinary people instead of expensive professional models!
By the way, I see the connection, chic/chick; but there's so much individual variation, some guys might be able to wear Chic brand jeans.
I thought about writing to the company about it, but I didn't bother. I wonder if they would have responded?
Have you ever written to a company about an ad?
I hate Chevy's current radio spots (in SoCal).
It's some guy in a fancy restaurant, and the waiter asks him what he wants, and he goes on and on about which car he thinks he wants. And the snooty waiter plays along.
I hate all ads like that.
Stephanie Courtney's "Flo" appears in some more new Progressive Insurance commercials. In one particularly dippy ad, she rattles off so many discounts that Progressive should pay the customer, once all the discounts are used.
Any Christmas commercial that appears before Thanksgiving.
Any Christmas commercial that appears before Thanksgiving.
Then you'd probably hate the latest ad from Verizon that I saw during the episode of House that aired on 11/9. It features characters from the classic Rankin-Bass special Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. The gist of the ad is a cell phone appearing on the Island of Misfit Toys. Rudolph and Santa don't appear, but the Misfit Girl Doll and Charlie in the Box are prominently featured. It's the second commercial I've seen based on the Rudolph special; the Aflac ad from a year or so ago (where Rudolph and Santa were prominently featured) was the first.
I've seen it. It's a Droid spot. The misfit phone is an iPhone.
I hate the E*Trade ads with the obnoxious talking baby. He think's he's a stock-trading expert. That's what makes him obnoxious.
I've *always* hated talking babies in anything, especially when they move their mouths and actually speak like an adult would. I hate that!
But I do like the Droid ads. They just seem cool to me.
I also like the Roaming Gnome from Travelocity. A few years ago there were some funny radio ads featuring it, and I wonder who does it's voice.
My favorite one, where he was "denouncing travel myths": "I got all my Christmas shopping done in 1975. Hope you like pet rocks!"
I just thought that was funny.
I think someone read the NItcentral's complaint Dodge Hit it commercial, where they hired a bunch of singers to sing them 2 words, and canned it.
good job.
I don't get it. What is the "Dodge Hit it"?
Are you a spammer?
While I'm waiting for an answer back about that one (I won't hold my breath) here's another dumb ad I don't like.
THE GAP DANCERS STRIKE AGAIN!
And not only that, they say stupid •••• like "GO CHRISTMAS!" and "HOORAY HANUKAH!" and "YAY KWANZAA!" It's really annoying!
ANd what about Eid, the Muslim Holiday?
They don't mention that cause Americans hate Muslims and think they are all terrorists!
Just watch Fox News for confirmation of that!
Rascism. Gotta hate it!
Condemnation of an entire culture because of a few evil mofoers that get all the press and publicity. Gotta loathe and detest that!
I know I do!
One more for tonight: I hate Dale Jr's shilling and hawking RoadRunner HSO from Time Warner.
I don't know why. I just do!
And that fat kid's southern drawl made it even worse!
Dale saying that internet is faster than the race cars he uses is very misleading, I'll bet it's not true!
But then, what do I know? Luigi has banned me from The Movies board, and I'm also banned from the Friends board.
I must not know anything!
AMR, that's probably "the 47s(tm)" aka "hes_dead_jim" aka "The Most Unlucky Man In the World"
Also, the near-constant airing of the "Sheer Cover" makeup infomercial on my local FOX affiliate. I sereverly dislike it.
3 words: I. Hate. Bing. (the stupid search engine)
Those ads are asinine, they are completely moronic drivel. They go beyond annoying.
I can't believe they can even find enough people to "act" in them. You'd think they'd have a little more dignity and self-respect!
Must be the money talking! That really is too bad though. There are things I will absolutly NOT do for ANY amount of money!
Why can't more people be like MEEEE??!! (j/k)
Net-Zero has had a couple of commercials pushing it's $9.99/month dial-up internet service, stating that "you'll save $300 a year", or some odd amount, over broadband. I wonder how many people with super-fast broadband would switch to extremely slow dial-up. My guess - none, regardless of cost.
The new Staples add is stupid. A dude yells:
"WOWWWWWW! That's a low price!!!!" a lot.
He also says "Hot Diggity Dogg!"
Like I said. STOOOOOPIDDDDDDD!!!!!!!
Now it seems that even Charlie Daniels owes back taxes!
i.e. he's in a new Geico commercial.
Why do these music legends sell out like this? It's disgraceful, I say.
I don't think it's disgraceful or selling out. I'd do it too, if it would help me pick up a few quick bucks (for that new Dodge Challenger I drool over.) Plus, it keeps Mr. Daniels in the spotlight; I haven't heard much about him since he was in Urban Cowboy 30 years ago. BTW, the Pierce Brosnan look-alike in those GEICO ads is actor Mike McGlone. I'd like to know who does Elmer Fudd's voice in that GEICO ad, since the great Mel Blanc died in 1989. Maybe it's Billy West...
Dish Network has a commercial that states something like "Why should you pay more for TV?" Well, there was a time when we didn't pay for TV reception at all. Of course, we got only a few over-the-air channels...BTW, I pay through the nose for my cable, but that's my choice.