Open for business...John Grey, eat your heart out.
A link to this page should be placed at the bottom of the last page.
Well, I'll give it a shot, Anon, albeit you'll have to be patient while I figure out how to do inter-NitC links all over again.
Meanwhile, both parts are clearly marked on the Subtopics page and thus the thread of the discussion should be pretty easy to follow, I would've thought?
It's easy under IE, kerriem: just open this topic in a new window, copy the new URL, and in the previous page create a message that links it to the next page (it works best using the "link" command than the "newurl" command).
i.e. use \link{http://64.33.77.146/discus/messages/110/22430.html?1053612799,Part 2}
In part 1 kerriem said, "I checked the Garbage Dump, Brian, and it's not there...but this post complaining about it's absence is dangerously close to being Dump-worthy itself. Next time, get the facts before making the inflammatory cracks, OK?"
How was it dump worthy? The FIRST possibility about my misisng post was that it didn't take. This was not a slam against the Roving Mods. I said exactly these words to open my question. "Either it didn't post..." Kerrie, if I was really going on the attack, don't you think the FIRST thing I would've said was "The Roving Mods need to be taken down a peg"?
Thanks, Sven.
Brian, I didn't think you were actually going on the attack in that post, hence the 'dangerously close' disclaimer.
What I objected to was your apparent willingness to go on the attack. There was no reason whatsoever why you couldn't have said "Hey, where'd my post go? If somebody Dumped it, why?"
Instead your choice of phrasing was, I repeat, inflammatory, and as I said I'd rather you wait until you're provoked before throwing down the gloves.
Oh. Well that wasn't what I was going for. Honest. I was not trying to be inflamatory (when I'm looking to flame, beleive me, you'll know. ;-) ).
I can attest he has experience starting fires by rubbing two sticks together.
LOL - fair enough.
Also, I'm happy to report that the link on the previous page is up (again, much obliged, Sven). We now return you to your regularly scheduled battle of the sexes.
And the link works! It's ALIIIIIIVE! 
In a feat of remarkably bad timing, I posted what I thought was a perfectly good question just about two hours befoe kerriem ended that topic and started this one. So, I guess I'll summarize it--am I the only one annoyed by people misusing "okay"?
When did people start using "okay" to mean "no"? Am I the only one who ever got confused about it? And this does sometimes relate to dating, and relationships.
Thanks.
hank,
It is spelled "Okay." Okay?
So, is it okay to use OK, even when not referring to Oaklahoma?
Where's Oaklahoma?
CR,
Oklahoma is and always will be OK!
Oaklahoma, however...
I think it's full of trees, but I'm not sure.
I'm annoyed by it too, hank. I once said "that's OK" when I meant "yes," but the other person thought I meant "no." Bad choice of words on my part, anyway, but I had forgotten it had changed meanings.
Oops... You'd think I'd have figured that one out, what with the "Oklahoma is OK" thing. slinks away embarrasased...
Every regular dictionary and dictionaries of expressions and slang give the old, standard definitions. I saw a "dictionary of diseased English" about misused words, and it doesn't mention "Okay" or "all right." So it's still the old meaning.
I wonder what would happen if this became an important point in a court case.
Sometime ago there was an infamous murder trial, two brothers were in trouble, and one was pointing a gun at somebody. The other brother said, "Let him have it!" which could have meant, "let him have the gun" or it could have meant, "shoot him!" I don't know how it all turned out.
There was a film based on that incident, called, of course, "Let Him Have It." I saw it a few years ago (I think it was on IFC or Sundance).
Hank, that case is notorious for so many reasons.
A cop was shot. The guy who pulled the trigger was a juvenile, so didn't rate the death penalty.
Bentley, the guy who allegedly said "Let him have it!" was 19, but had the mental age of a child.
On the stength of those words, Bentley was hanged.
He was the last person ever to be hanged in Britain.
Witnesses have denied that he uttered the infamous phrase.
45 years after his execution, Bentley was pardoned.
"you can pardon Derek Bentley who never took a life
for Derek Bentley cannot pardon you."
That's a line from a Ralph McTell song ("Bentley and Craig" oddly enough) from a while back...it immediately came to mind. Written before the pardon.
You can check out the Derek Bentley Page if you like. There's a link to the lyrics as well...
Let me set up my question.
I've found out that women I'd hit on at the gym may be married despite not wearing a wedding band. I've decided that is in itself a line.
I was exercising last Thursday and noticed a woman on the track. She had no rings on her left hand, but that means nothing.
I go up to her and say, "Excuse me, but I noticed that sometimes beautiful women do not wear their wedding bands when they exercise. Are you married?"
Either she is a complete m0r0n or she knows the date offer is coming. She has paths to say "No" or "Yes" to the date question coming.
She says, "Thank You. I'm not married." An easy "No" is to say your married, but "No" is not excluded yet.
I ask, "Would you like to talk over coffee Tuesday at the Java Bean?" I figure just coffee tok, no big whoop, Bubala. (ScottN, did I spell it right?)
She says, "I'm a nun."
I admit I wasn't prepared for that. I say," Oh, congratulations." As I walk away a voice in my head (that sounds like Garrison Keillor doing Guy Noir) is saying "Congratulations? Of all the comments you could say you picked 'Congratulations'?"
Ignoring the possibility I hit on a nun, why did she lie? No thanks or I'm not interested is more than sufficient. "I'm a nun," is, well, weird.
Force of habit? 
(dodges ballistic rotten vegetables)
Actually, Blue, in the circs 'congratulations' is about all you could say. Short, snappy, and got you out of there in a hurry.
I'm thinking that, as you suspected, your hittee there caught on pretty quickly to what you were asking...and being in a particular mood that women sometimes get into when they're being propositioned and don't want to be, decided to string you along for a bit.
Blue Berry, just where is this gym you always spend your time hitting on woman who want to simply work out? I just ask so I can avoid it if I ever happen to be near it...
Maybe women appreciate being asked out on dates once in a while, even if it is at the gym. Most everyone wants a relationship, and it has to start somewhere. All they have to do is say 'no.' I know I wouldn't mind being asked (although I'm a guy). And where is it considered OK to ask women out? (besides bars)
What was this 'nun' wearing?
Nove, so if one fat, overweight, balding woman after the other comes up to you to ask you out on a date, coming close to you under pretenses (at gyms there are many opportunies for some guys) while you are trying to work out, you would appreciate it??? How many times can you say "no" to dirty, ugly guys? (I mean ugly from the way the act, from the expression they have on their face, their leering behaviour, not that they have to look like hollywood people.)
Man are really structured very different from woman.
and yes, there are blondes who like s-ex only like men, and therefore appreciate being asked out, but for a normal lonesome woman that's not the foremost thing on their mind, esp. not in the gym, when one is hot, sweating, in skimpy outfits, and knowing how the bald, overweight, old guys are leering and staring anyway.
constanze,
It is the YMCA in New Bedford, MA, USA. I doubt you'd ever go there. I could say just plain "No" to a thousand fat, ugly, balding women.
Nove Rock..., um, NR,
She was wearing a gray sweatsuit. Despite contance's fantasy, it was OK in Saudia Arabia.
I figure for every ten unattractive women that ask me out, there might be one decent one. That's not too bad to me. Loneliness is much less desirable than putting up with ugly women once in a while. Not that everyone in a gym is lonely or alone, but I'm sure some are.
It sounds like you're implying only the "sex only" women (I doubt they're all blondes) would like to be asked out on dates, and not the "lonesome" woman. (I don't see how asking someone for coffee equates to a 'sex only' mentality, but anyway...) I see it the opposite. The "sex only" women probably have plenty of dates. What if a "lonesome" man sees a "lonesome" woman that he'd like to get to know? (she might like him, too, by some chance) If he can't approach her, they both go home at the end of the day lonely.
Where is it acceptable to ask a woman out (to talk over coffee)? Or is it always bad unless you get to know her first? (That's what the coffee would be for) And what if Blue's not dirty or ugly? Is it OK then? I need to know the rules.
NR,
Rules are for wimps. Men have cahones and can take occasional idiocy. No guts, no glory. I can work out without risking being told, "I'm a nun." The idiocy of females is worth it if one, just one, agrees to coffee so she can reject me for me. In any event, I get a good workout and don't worry about it.
kerriem,
I forgot to thank you. What I could have said was, "Thank the LORD. Can you explain transubstantiation to me?"
Sophie,
No comment.
"I'm a nun."
"That's fine for me. I am the bishop of Ramsgate."
It is the YMCA in New Bedford, MA, USA.
May I ask what you were wearing then, Blue?
Either a police uniform, a construction worker's outfit, an indian chief outfit, a sailor suit, or a navy uniform!
Electron,
A sweaty blue T shirt, black shorts, White sneakers and white sox.
ScottN,
It was a police uniform but I left my handcuffs in the car.
why woman dislike advances from complete strangers
constanze,
How do you reccomend I stop being a complete stranger? A common interest, like an exercise class perhaps?
I don't know where else to put this. Today the aerobics instructor accidentally said something I though was funny.
She said, "Relax your head."
Everyone knew what she meant, but that sounds like one of those "almost ad hominem statements" that give rovers lots of confusion.
First some news, then a joke, then a perplexed guy asks, “huh?”
I heard on Morning Edition on NPR yesterday that scientists have finished mapping the Y chromosome. Genetically speaking, men have as much in common with male chimpanzees as they do with women.
That makes sense to me. I don’t understand why they fling their excrement at me every time the see me. (See it coming?) I don’t understand chimps either.
I bet there are several women out there saying, “[A specific guy]; a chimpanzee; that’s about right.”
Now the anecdote I have no clue about. Besides a vague, “huh?” I don’t even know what question to ask. Oh, I’m quoting from memory and the conversation on my side was more “<huff, huff> unh-huh <huff, huff>” (The EFX machine, or cross trainer is sort of a treadmill with an attitude.)
I was on the EFX machine at the YMCA. A young woman asked me if I was the single guy.
Let me explain the term “young”. She probably remembers less of the Reagan Presidency than he does. If I dated her I might have to go to the prom. On dates we are talking virgin daiquiris or contributing to the delinquency.
Even though I’d say no to the final question I think is coming, I feel good to be Captain Studdly, young chick magnet.
After a second of realizing she didn’t have a subpoena I admitted to being the single guy. I was getting ready to let her down easy. After all I have a responsibility to not let this poor young lady carry the trauma around for the rest of her life.
“I’d like you to meet my mom,” she said.
That hissing sound I heard was air escaping from my bubble. The first question I thought of was “Where is Dad?”
Mom is either 1) married, 2) a single mom who’s jerk boyfriend bolted when the consequences became apparent, 3) widowed, or 4) divorced.
For #1, I don’t poach. For #2, she probably hates all men and I’d be paying for the jerk’s sins (hey, I can deal.) For #3, competing with a guy who can never mess up in the contest for her affection is not my idea of fun. For #4, see #2.
That line of questioning, however was quickly eclpsed by a more pressing concern. Namely, “Where is Mom?”
Mom must not think she’s ready or she would be here. I think. I ask her, “Does your Mom know your trying to set her up?”
“Oh,” she said, “I’m not trying to set her up.”
“Then,” I asked, “What do you want me to do?”
“Ask her on a date,” she said. I could tell by the way she said it that I slipped several notches in her estimation. After all, can’t single guy think of that on his own?
“But you are not trying to set her up,” I said.
“Oh,” she explained, “she won’t accept.”
“Huh?” I said.
She left to do a lap around the track. For most of the track you are not in view of the EFX machine. To preserve what is left of my sanity I made it a point to not be there when she came back.
So I ask any women, "huh?" (or maybe "wha?") Well I think I ask it, I’m not sure I’m cleared for that information.
Blue, once again, all your answers are here.
It sounds to me as thought she was trying to play a joke on her mom... get "the single guy" to ask her out.
Frankly, I think the fact that you're known at the gym as "the single guy" should be an indication to you that your advances aren't being met as warmly as you probably like.
Darth,
I'd rather have that reputation than silently wish lightening would strike. (I'm serious, that is the alternative.)
Oh, I appreciate the comment Darth, but I'm hoping a young woman can actually answer, "wha?" (Again, I'm serious.)
I could be mistaken, but I don't remember you being a young woman. (Although it was never made explicit what sex Darth Maul was....)
I've never, to my knowledge, shared my gender with anyone here... though I think I mentioned once (it may have even been to you, in fact) that my name is Sandy...
I actually try to reveal as little as possible about me on the net (no offense to anyone here).
Regardless... even though you posed the question to women, everyone is entitled to an opinion.
As for Darth Maul... I think he's male... but to my knowledge, none of the films has ever stated that the Darth title can only go to males. So I'll stick with mine, thank you very much.
Here is proof, sorta, that men think differently than women. BTW, he's not making this up sorta almost kinda, well it's funny anyway.
I noticed several testoserone challenged people wondering why i ask complete stangers on dates. I've had three "dates" already. Oh, if some m0r0n thinks "date" is a code word for sex, I'm talking about conversation over a cup of coffee. No second "dates" and that is an option I will not pursue.
Second, testoserone challenged people seem to think behaving badly because "Yo, I'm exercising here and you want to ask me out for coffee?". I am pleased to report that I handled it much better when a guy hit on me in the shower. (Note for non-US people: The men's locker room at the YMCA will have three types of naked men; 50 year old fat guys who just don't care, in shape homosexuals "advertising", and guys getting dressed as quickly as they can.)
Ok in relation to all this I have a question. I think I know the answer but I ran into my ex-girlfriend that got religion and was talking and she said that she didnt enjoy having men look at her with that lust in their eyes. She used to enjoy being the center of attention and arching her back to thrust her tracks of land out and other such behavior. Recently she got religion and all so I have to believe that is the reason as my wife, my supervisor and several other women friends and associates all agree that a woman who says they don't like being looked at appreciately by a man is either a nun, sick in the head or lying. I wanted to find out what the opinion was around here. Personally I have to agree that a woman is either sick in the head or lying when she says somethign like that.
"Lying" may be a bit strong. My guess is that the reason does not quite match any of the three reasons you mention, but is related to at least two of them. She probably feels guilty that she "used to" enjoy it, and is trying to convince herslef, as much as anyone else, that she has a new attitude. And I've seen it with men who suddenly "got religion" as well, just not as strongly or as often.
Lying is a strong word but it does convey the emotional content I was searching for. Lying to themselves, lying to the world. Just lying in general. I would have to say though that I would assign the behavior you describe as sick in the head. And I know. I ahve seen too many good people get all hyper-rightous after they have been infected with religion.
I don't know where to put this. Here seems like a good spot:
I’m heterosexual and did not enjoy the following.
I’ve got balance issues you can pray you never have in your worst nightmare. My quadriceps tightened up and my knees hurt. My weight ballooned up and I was coming from a workout at the YMCA so my knees are like, “Enough for today, thank you. You are falling down? We are going on break. Use your arms to break your fall.”
Did I mention this was in the locker room of the YMCA. Where naked sweaty guys are. Where homosexuals use the sauna to meet other homosexuals. Those are important points.
I was fully dressed and leaving. I need lots of room and wait until the passage way is all clear because what is plenty of room for someone else is asking for a fine balancing act for me. So the naked sweaty guys are out of the way and I’m leaving. Suddenly the door to the sauna springs open and a guy talking to someone behind him as he walks not watching where he is going is in front of me. Normal humans would have no problem adjusting to this.
I’m not a normal human. I start falling buy grab out for something to steady myself on. Did I mention the SAUNA? Did I mention he was naked and sweaty?
No, I did not grab his male genital organ on my way down.
No, I did not hit the floor. I staggered, and got hold of some lockers as well as his nipple ring. Oh it wasn’t like a five yard facemask penalty; it was a personal foul for fifteen yards.
After apologizing to him as I released my death grip, I left. (He was recovering from the pain. Fortunately he was short and I staggered, not fell.)
I got a "I think of you only as a friend" today. Does that mean:
a. I really do think of you as a friend, so let's be really good friends.
b. I'm saying something nice, but please don't talk to me again.
c. I'm really madly in love with you; ask me again!
A.
But keep at it, pal. :-D Something might change.
That's my mantra.
Update: Nothing has changed.
Thankfully, she didn't get weirded out or anything, but she does, I guess understandably, talk to me less.
There have been three major crushes in my life. One was nothing more than a high school infatuation; when I see her now, I feel nothing (it helps that she is married to one of my pastors now).
The second was a coworker who always had a boyfriend when I knew her and so was always off-limits. We had (have) a very good friendship.
The third was the aforementioned girl above. This one hurt more than the others because she was and is single, I still feel attracted to her, and I really did feel that she was into me. Needless to say it sucked.
But I don't want to turn this into a pity party; I don't really have the time or desire to really get into a serious thing right now anyway.
Oh my second crush? I saw her this week...she broke up with her boyfriend, but is now living in Detroit.
Me, to Myself: You couldn't have done this a year ago?
Yes, I am a Bad Person.
Are you saying you're going after 2 now? at one time! that'll most likely lead to losing chances with both...
I'm actually going after neither (I don't live near Detroit, so that rules her out); I just happen to still have feelings for both.
Don't know where to put this either I had my crushes in High school,I followed one girl with my eyes to her boy friend and he was gonna take me apart,(I escaped with my life).
another I dared not ask because her boyfriend was 6.5 over,(i was 4.7)
and I da nced with a white girl who had a Negro boyfriend in dance class, he saw that and threatened my nose...
-------------------------------------
and one girl I really liked is 300 lb today...she was skinny winny.
today, 30 years later none of them are married or divorced.
oh . seriously,Blueberry, one of my exes is a nun in Outer Mongolia.She probably is exersizing in her gym somewhere.
More famous (almost) last words:
http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2011/04/06