Funny article:
http://www.cinescape.com/cgi-bin/wrapper.pl?url=http://www.cinescape.com/insider/000821archive.shtml
Cut and Print #7: ...
Bruce Campbell has fantastic hair...When will Homeboys in
Outer Space get the credit it deserves? It was a visionary
show...I wouldn't watch Star Trek: Voyager if you
duct-taped my skull to a TV...Laugh while you can, monkey
boy...If Kevin Sorbo and Brent Spiner got into a fistfight, my
money would be on Sorbo in the third round...There's never
been a better time to remake Plan 9 from Outer Space.
Finally, the technology has caught up with the story...
If there's one thing George Lucas knows, it's how to groom
his beard...David Duchovny, why won't you love me?...The
Batman Beyond live-action film should just be the tip of the
Warner Bros. comics iceberg. A Super Friends adaptation
is guaranteed box-office gold...We need another Halloween
movie like we need global warming...You can never
underestimate the sheer magnetism of George Takei...If
you're planning to read the Lord of the Rings trilogy before
the film adaptations are released, I recommend you start
tomorrow...A better title for Scary Movie might have been
"Funny Movie." That film redefined hilarity this summer...
Anthony Daniels might be the sharpest man on the planet...I
don't know about you, but I'd slap down eight bucks to see
the wacky gang go at it again in Ghostbusters 3...When
Fox gets around to its live-action Simpsons adaptation,
John Goodman is a no-brainer for Homer...Never tell me the
odds...The greatest challenge Hollywood faces today is how
to resurrect the Alien franchise. Perhaps it's time to give
Mike Myers a call...Martin Landau deserves a retroactive
Emmy for his work on Space: 1999...
The prefix code for the U.S.S. Reliant is 16309...To start
Star Wars: Episode 2 with a bang, they should hire
Harrison Ford to play Han Solo's father...For my money,
Lucy Lawless is elegance personified...I can't imagine a
direct-to-video Tremors sequel being anything but
fabulous...Charlton Heston was born to play Uncle Ben in
Sam Raimi's Spider-Man feature...What does God need
with a starship?...Hollywood execs might do well to pay
closer attention to Richard Hatch and his Battlestar:
Galactica film project. I smell franchise...
Here's hoping the next live-action Flintstones film will
feature a visit from the Jetsons...Have you ever danced with
the devil by the pale moon light?...Tiger Woods should direct
the next Batman movie. If he's as good at filmmaking as he
is at golf, then it's a sure-fire winner...Is there a cuter robot in
science fiction than R2D2? I think not...No one
impersonates Regis Philbin better than Dana Carvey...You
never know what's gonna happen when John Waters is on
the scene...An animated X-Files for Saturday morning?
Something to think about, Fox folks...
There is never enough nudity in teen slasher films...Kevin
Pollack does the finest Captain Kirk this side of Billy
Shatner...In my dictionary, there's a picture of prequel
producer Rick McCallum next to the definition of
"class"...Harry Potter is the most charming British export
since David Niven...If Neo doesn't sport a cape in the Matrix
sequels, you can color me disappointed...Pants are
overrated...Why am I excited about The Mummy Returns?
Two words: the Rock...Jeri Ryan is so hot, you could fry an
egg on her stomach...Every time a bell rings, an angel gets
its wings...
I've heard Tom Hanks runs like a girl...Am I the only person
who laughs until he cries whenever Mr. Jar Jar Binks hits the
screen? That character is the funniest thing since Jerry
Lewis...I would trust James Cameron with my life...If I had to
choose between Captain Kirk, Captain Picard, Commander
Sisko and Captain Janeway to steer my starship, my brain
would explode...Patrick Warburton as a live-action Tick?
Have I died and gone to heaven?...I'll be camped in front of
my TV to watch the Witchblade movie on TNT, you can bet
your bottom dollar...It's never too late to bring back the
Exorcist franchise...
You'd think Wolverine occasionally uses his claws to cut
vegetables...Memo to Lucasfilm: Release the Star Wars
Holiday Special on DVD and video. A performance that
great from comedy queen Bea Arthur deserves to be
seen...It's too bad Richard Pryor will never reprise his role in
Superman III for Superman Lives. Ditto Ricardo
Montalban as Khan...Never underestimate the thrills in a
good time-travel story...Whatever happened to that Star
Trek opera someone was writing?...Nothing says "must-see
TV" like the Sci-Fi Channel...Man is an endangered
species...
Matt Springer
[Note: We're getting Matt all the help we possibly can.]
>Charlton Heston was born to play Uncle Ben . . .
No way. The audience would never buy a burglar breaking into Heston's place and Heston being unarmed.
On www.sfsite.com the tv reviewer said he looked at one episode of Andromeda and decided not to see that show again, because of one single line.
"I will fight you with every fiber of my being."
Just because it's a big gigantic boring cliche of a line.
Was he overreacting? Is the show that cliched? Which episode was it? Was the whole episode that cliched?
Okay, I'm not all that thrilled with the show either. It seems like they're doing the same plots Star Trek was doing--two time travel plots already, and no visits to interesting planets with weird aliens who don't look like humans in makeup. Are any of you that thrilled?
A few weeks ago, I read an article by an author moaning about the intellectual decline in American films. He specifically mentioned the growing use of poop and fart jokes in films in recent years. Star Wars was no exception. Lucas did include a scene where Jar Jar steps in poop (in SW:TPM). Did anyone find that funny? At least Star Trek has remained above the crowd. No poop jokes yet!
Just you wait! Mwa-ha-ha!
What about this, from First Contact?
Cochrane: "I gotta go take a leak!"
La Forge: "Leak? I'm not detecting any leak."
Cochrane: *frustrated* "Don't people from the 24th century go to the bathroom?!"
La Forge: "Oh. *That* kind of leak."
And Braga co-wrote it! There you have it!