I told my friend Sean that I'd like to take 2005 out behind the barn and shoot it. The end of the year has been a very bad time. MJ had a very difficult October, and we both had a really hard November. November was one of the worst months of my whole life. I'm very glad it's no longer November 2005.

Now December comes and the universe has decided to play billiards with the lives of our distant friends. On Sunday, December 18, 2005 a diesel truck traveling 144kph (89.5 mph) struck our English friend Rae in the side of her car. At the time she was pregnant with twins. She has pulled out okay but it's going to be two weeks until she can leave the hospital. And she and her husband now have two funerals to plan.

Harlan Ellison likes to quote my favorite prayer. This is for Rae and Dylan:

May God walk between you and harm in all the empty places you must go.

We love you both.

Fragging all. When it rains it pours. My condolences Mark.

Mark, I'm so very sorry.

I sympathize when you talk about having a bad month. It doesn't compare to what Rae and her husband are going through, but on December 10th, I was mugged around the block from my house, and now have a slightly heightened sense of paranoia when I walk down the street, even in broad daylight. I've been carrying pepper spray on me since I was attacked at Lincoln Square last August because I refused to give him a movie pass, but I never carried it around Union City. Now I hold onto it when I walk up the block to my house, and I hate that it's come to this.

Having to cancel all the credit cards and ATM account (the number was written on a card inside my wallet, so I couldn't take chances with it), change the locks on my front door (the keys were in the same pocket as my wallet, and they took it out to get to the wallet, and I couldn't find it on the ground after they bolted), etc. And of course, the agencies to which I had to go to replace my stuff weren't very sympathetic. The bank wouldn't give me a new ATM account without a new ID (even though I had a passport, cell bill, Social Security card, Selective Service cards, birth certificate, County ID, etc.), and the DMV wouldn't give me a new ID without the fee---which I couldn't pay because I couldn't access my ATM account. They refused to bill me at my home when I suggested it.

Fortunately, I had an angel on my side. The lady right next me at the DMV counter handed over a ten and a single to the person seeing to me, saying to me that this was her Christmas present. I hugged her, and insisted she give me her address so I could pay her back by mail, but she refused. I gave her my business card and told her if she ever needed a portrait or caricature or something drawn, I'd give her a good discount on it, but I later thought I should've said "for free." I even neglected to get her name.

Maybe as you and your loved ones pulled together at this pained time in your lives, you can be each other's angels.

My condolences to your friends, Mark. Losing a child, even an unborn child, is not easy, and is something that will never be completely gotten over. I truly hope Rae & her husband (Dylan?) can give strength to each other.

Also, I hope that you & MJ are going to be OK and have gotten through your problems.

Luigi, glad you weren't hurt in your encounter.

It sure seems that 2005 has been a lousy year for a lot of peole, both here at NitC and in the rest of the world. I've managed to get through some pretty tough things myself, but there are still a few bumps ahead. Still, I've tried (not always successfully) to keep my head up. Knowing that one isn't alone helps... we may not all have the same problems, but I think we can all relate on some level to each other when problems do occur. I can't really articulate what I feel about it, without coming off as trite or maudlin, so I guess I'll just leave it at that for now.

Add my condolences to the list, too, Mark.

Thank you all for the kind words. I write this stuff often just to get it out of my head. I'd told this story to so many people I thought I was going to explode with it. When I first heard about Rae getting in a car accident it was a pretty rough day, but nothing compared to when I learned they'd lost the twins. I was at work and managed to hold it together but I rather fell apart when I made it home. That's why I married Her Radiant Majesty--she keeps me together when I'm falling apart.

If you are fortunate to ever have someone in your life as wonderful as MJ, never let them go.

I'm so ready for 2006.

The whole car accident also hit me rather hard, and it now feels like there's a sense of expectation that will never be filled.

Dyl had been the one to tell me that they were naming their unborn daughter after me.

The twins were due on or around my birthday.

I'm very glad that Rae is fine, as is her toddler daughter (who was also in the vehicle at the time), and I just cannot comprehend who speeds at 90 mph through intersections.

Goddess love and hold Rae and Dylan and the baby. All three of them.

MJ, I sympathize with your friend. Mrs. ScottN was 7 months pregnant (with TrekGrrl) and some idiot ran a stop sign, and broadsided her... 6 inches behind the driver seat. I realized how lucky I was then....

Wow. It just almost makes a person want to build a wall around the place and hide sometimes. But you can't do that so you gotta go on. Friends loved ones and caring people all help keep the need for walls at bay. And you are so right about keeping the one who holds you together. I live for that one I would die for that one.

Now Luigi I don't wanna say somethign to make you a bit uncomfortable but having been a security officer/cop in training, I know a bit about "pepper" spray. 1. Make sure you have the Oleoresin Capascium and not tear gas also make sure it is in police strength. I've heard of guys being able to shrug off the non-cop strength stuff that ets sold sometimes. (Of course there are also people who can shrug off the police grade too). Also have a backup plan (place to run, phone, hand to hand skills, knife gun etc...)

I can buzzkill this buzzkill some to bring up a couple of reasons why I'm very glad 2005 happened:

Uno: Still married to her. Three years in February. My heart literally stopped just a moment ago when I realized that.

Dos: New friends. I became good friends with a couple of new people this year. I wouldn't change my friendships with the Clan of the Girls with Names Starting with S for anything.

I talked to Rae a little on IM yesterday and her mood seemed okay. She's stuck in that hospital for a good week and a half more. Her first ping? "Get me outta here!"

CR and R, thank you.

R, I don't remember if it was indicated that it was "police strength" or "Oleoresin," but it is capsacium. I bought three: One disguised as a pen that I keep in my pocket (I couldn't get to it when mugged because the two thugs pinned me against a wall), a traditional-looking one I keep in my shoulder bag, and a third shaped like a small box that I don't carry because it's hard to get my fingers around it quickly. I tested all of them, and I remember coughing and being irritated when I tested that third because the wind might've blown some back to me. I have no reason to think the other two would be "shrugged" off. But thanks for the advice, buddy.

Condolences to everybody. Here's hoping for a better year.

Two on one lovely. Not exactly fair. Also not exactly good conditions for many defense maneuovers. OC spray in that situation might have blown back on you if you had been able to get to it with multiple moving targets.

Olelresin Capsacium is the same thign as plain capsacium I just use the full name out of habit and training. Or say OC to differentiate it from CN,CS, or Cr which are various tear/mucosial gases. Or OC/CS blends which combine the effects of both CS (tear) and OC (pepper) sprays.

What you wanna look for to see if you have cop or civ versions is the sco (scoville) heat rating. If its around 5 million then its cop if its ahalf that or less its civilian. Anything less than 500,000 is taco sauce (ie useless). There is also one thats around 10 million rating but its sold as bear repellant out west. But it can burn skin, cause blindness and death a lot easier than regular so its not to be used on humans. Regular pepper spray can cause death if you hit someone with enough of it or if they ave a breathign problem (asthma especially).

You might have had some blow back though I doubt it was major as part of my trainign I got to be sprayed full in the face by police spray. If it hits you you WILL drop what you are doing as your eyes are now full of tears , swollen shut and feel like they are melting out of your head, your nose is now running snot at full force and it takes concentration to breathe. (I dropped like a sack of rocks and layed on the floor writhing in terror and agony for quite a while.)The guys who have shrugged that off are usually the same ones so high on drugs that they might not notice getting shot so I'll agree it is doubtful that a normal person will shrug that off. The effects will last for abouta half hour at least before it merely feels like you have put your face in an oven. Takes about a couple of hours for you to get back reasonably to normal. And no washing your face does no good as OC is oil based. Police have a special spray that helps counter OC spray but it only halves the time you are down not make you all better star trek style.

Civilian pepper spray is not as intense (and yes I have been hit by that too when i scared my wife one time while we where in college. I thought she saw me walk up but I guess not.) and does not last as long so your window of opportunity is a lot shorter to get away or whatever.

I've seen the first two but never heard of the one shaped like a box? I'm used to the ones that look like a small canister with a spray nozzle on top or the ones up to a small fire extinguisher the police use for riot/crowd control/dispersal.

Well the only other thing I have to say about it is practice drawing it, practice carrying it where you can get to it (they make belt holsters for OC canisters) make sure you are comfortable with the operation of the canister so that you can do it in the dark in a panic one handed without spraying yourself in the face.(I have seen that happen before, not funny) and to make sure it is in date and the pressure is still good. Since you've used the cans once for a test that has let a little bit of air into them. Probably not enough to do much damage to the range but the strength of the civilian varients can vary quite a bit.

Sorry for the thread hijack there but since OC can be a tricky little friend and some counties and municipalities require registration of carry for it and it can be lethal under the right conditions I felt it was important to share a little of what I know.

This website educates as well as entertains! :-)

I want to say my best wishes to you all. I hope that 2006 will be better than that, and am sad to hear these bad news.

MarkMorgan, yes, a good partnership is one of the most valuable things to have. Don't loose her..

Luigi, at least you weren't harmed, so I'm glad for that. Although it's sad to hear that it happened at all, and that you've changed your habits...

R, thanks for the info. Never know when it might come in handy, although I've only considered buying pepper spray against ferocious dogs, not against muggers (I distrust weapons that could be taken away and used against you; and in a panic, it's likely to spray yourself, I guess.)

Mark, I hope that things work out better for you and MJ.

May 2006 be a much happier year for us all.

No problem Constanze. Gotta remember though your mind and body are your greatest weapons. Only through constant vigilence can one be ready to fight the dark arts

Dogs generally react about the same way as humans and in some ways more so. The only thing is somedogs then turn into a blind frenzy snapping at anythign but so blinded they cant see anythign (Had a rott do that when I was bike riding once scared me beyond belief), also they can loose their sense of smell permanently.

And yeah 2005 wasnt the greatest it appears for a lot of people. Maybe karma means 2006 will balance things out? Heres to hoping for that.

New year, and new beginnings and fresh starts. Just wanted to let everyone know that Rae is doing vey well and seems to have recovered from the accident.

A toast to them both. And Happy (belated) New Year to everyone!

And here I thought my 2005 ended bad. The year started off great, with the birth of my son Matthew one year ago today (hard to believe he's a year old!), but my mom died on Nov 9, then the bank froze my account because I shared it with her, the $%$%^^& NYC transit went on strike, cancelling a holiday party I was looking forward to... I celebrated the arrival of 2006 like I've never celebrated a New Year before!

Let's hope we all have a better year than last! (Even if you had a good year, it's nice to think this one could be better, Hmmm??)

Well, this day just past certainly ranks among the top ten worst days of my life.

Sorry to hear that. What happened? Any way we could help?

Hey, Todd, sorry to hear it was so rough for you. As Scott asked, is there anything any of us can do to help you? At any rate, hope things get better for you.

Ditto. Email me if you want to.

It's been 5 years since anyone posted here...

It's been a shi**y 2013. Why?

For those of you who don't know, Mrs. ScottN passed away last month from ALS.

I'm very sorry to hear that, Scott. My condolences.

My German grandmother passed away last year, just before my mother was flying over to visit my family there. And my friend's uncle just died recently as well.

And I wonder what Todd was referring to when he said back in 2007 that it had been one of the ten worst days of his life....

Sorry to hear that, ScottN. My condolences to you and your family.

My condolences as well, Scott. Sorry about your loss.

Oh, Scott, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. *sends hugs to you, Trekgrrl and all your family*

*sends hugs to Andre as well*

Sorry for your loss, Scott.

I'm so sorry, Scott.

*hugs Scott telepathically*.