This is a continuation of a discussion that Todd Pence began here.
Todd Pence: I was watching Smallville last night and only kind of half-paying attention. At one point Clark said to Chloe, "Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could die . . . permanently!" I cracked up.
I wonder what other such lines we could come up with.
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could find yourself covered in spandex!"
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could find yourself wearing a mask that doesn't fasten to anything, but magically stays attached to your face, has opaque white eyeholes that don't hinder your vision (except sometimes when we can see your eyes right through them), which follow your facial muscles when you change expression, and always line up with your eyes!"
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could find filled with angst!"
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could grow gigantic boobs bigger than your head!"
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could end up in some rich benefactor's mansion, living off a trust fund, without any visible means of support!"
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could find getting into a fight with a good friend that you've known for years, or with some other good guy that you have no logical reason to fight with!"
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could get cloned, kidnapped by an alien, or replaced with a robot!"
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could deliver a long, bombastic diatribe in the time it takes to swing a single punch!"
Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, Com Ed will increase your monthly bill
Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you'll be the star of the show...AND I WON'T HAVE THAT!
Huh?
Explanations:
#1...Com Ed is a power supply company for the state of Illinois.
#2...As we all know, Tom Welling (Clark) is the star of the show, and for someone else to exhibit superpowers could shove his character out of the limelight and make Chloe more likable to the audience than Clark. (Welling)
Well, I've heard of Con Ed, so yeah, I understood that; I was just wondering if they played into the "comic book cliche" theme I began.
"Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could find yourself covered in spandex!"
As a woman she'd only be partially covered. ;-)
Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you'll bankrupt the Special Effects Department.
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Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, the viewers will grow tired of you showing off your powers and turn the channel!
Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, we'll have nothing left for sweeps week... except your permanent death!
Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you could tear your spandex outfit!
Clark: MOM! Chloe, is using her powers again too soon!
Martha Kent: Chloe, your parents told me to watch you while they were gone, so, I order you to go to your room!
Chloe: Tattletale!
Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, people will make fun of you on nitpicking message boards!
Chloe, if you use your powers again too soon, you'll have to drink another dose of "Super Sauce"
(Ref. "Super Chicken")
I wonder if anyone here has ever read the two comics longtime MAD Magazine contributor Sergio Aragones drew for that were comic related. They were "Destroys DC" and "Massacres Marvel". They were both put out in 1996, and were written by Mark Evanier.
I just re-read both, and even being almost 15 years old, they are still funny. You can probably still find them at your local store, or on ebay.
Has DC ever done a humor issue like Marvel did with "Wha-Huh?" and "Who Won't Wield The Shield"? If they have, I'd like to read them!
IIRC DC's agreement with Mad Magazine kept them from doing a general humor title. When DC came out with Plop! in the '70s Mad objected, although I believe they came to some kind of agreement about content.
My favorite Plop! cartoon was a four-panel Superman gag. (Dialogue from my faulty memory.)
Panel 1: (Clark & Lois)
Clark: Oh my god! Lois is falling out the window!
Panel 2: (Clark diving out window)
Clark: No time to change! Must save Lois!
Panel 3: (Clark holding Lois in mid-air)
Lois: Ah-ha! I knew you were really Clark Kent that's why I pretended to fall out the window!
Panel 4: (Clark at typewriter, Perry White enters)
Perry: Where's Lois?
Clark: She fell out the window.
I believe it was drawn by Curt Swan too.
Other than that I think the closest to humor or a humor-like product was some of the Ambush Bug specials (your mileage may vary on how funny they actually are). Showcase Presents Ambush Bug seems to contain most of the specials.
Now Marvel has released a new Humor-based issue, "Shame Itself". It was written and drawn by people I've never heard of, apparently Marvel wanted to give the young rookie talent just starting out a chance to show the world what they could do.
As for the quality of the artwork and the jokes, well.....meh.
Also, if this was pro wrestling, the exact opposite would be happening. In that business, the young talent are held down and kept from getting anywhere in whatever company they're in. And it's usually thanks to former washed-up has-been wrestlers who have now become a powerful influence in the company, mainly because they married the bosses' daughter and therefore now have a say as to who will or won't "get a push", or whether they would be "buried on the mid-card" and therefore never get any attention or success to speak of.
Or it could be because of the fact that they went bald at a very early age and had complete creative control over their contract for the majority of their careers and almost never "jobbed" to opponents and hardly ever lost a match, and therefore were allowed to remain the World Champion for years and years on end. Men like that also tend to become bookers in various wrestling organizations, usually because virtually everyone there "have heat" with the CEO of the "other" organization and therefore are persona non grata there, so they now are employed in a company with limited exposure (nowhere outside the USA, or even the southern US), and there is no steroid policies whatsoever, so anyone employed there can be on any number of "performance-enhancing substances".
A few years ago, the best way to say what this entire post has been about was expressed in the best way I thought it could have been, I could not have said it any better myself:
"Old Washed-Up Has-Been Now In Charge Of Talent Acquistion" explains their booking philosophy:
"What I like to do is keep all of my old friends around, and bury any young, rising talent!"
Heh heh! Now THAT's a dose of reality if I've ever heard one. And included in a book discussing the collapse of a formerly well-known and at one time, highly successful wrestling organization, but over a period of about six years, everything fell apart and the comapny ended up being sold for "next to nothing" (four million dollars), to the CEO of it's long-time comepetition, it being mere pocket change to the man at that point, as HE had now become a billionaire, just like the creator/onetime owner of the now-defunct company.
Just like all the others that used to exist, it has now been absorbed and buried by this particular billionaire CEO. And you can bet your bottom dollar he has the exact same intentions for the only other primary competitor that happens to operate out of Orlando and are full of all the has-beens and also-rans that are persona non grata with him. Just wait and see, it'll happen, you watch. It's only a matter of time before they are also defeated and bought up, and then there will be....ONLY ONE!!!!
Now I've been known to go off tangent from time to time, but 7 paragraphs devoted to wrestling & only 2 to an actual comic is a bit excessive.
If you want to talk about wrestling the Kitchen Sink would be more appropriate.
It was written and drawn by people I've never heard of
Apparently a number of the writers are normally writers for TV shows or stand-up comedians.
Duly noted, Keith. The problem with that is there is no wrestling-related board in the sink.
So maybe it's time that I created one. What do you think? Are there even any other posters besides me that would even contribute to it?
You can create one in Other Sports Topics under the Sports topic in the Media section of the Sink.
I could have sworn some people had a Wrestling discussion somewhere in the Sink, but maybe it was within another thread?
Well, the highly successful and profitable *professional* wrestling is often staged and scripted, as opposed to the Olympics, where it's either freestyle or Greco-Roman style. MAke no mistake, though, pro wrestlers have to be on top of their physical and mental game to compete in the ring, and even in a "fake" fight, there is risk of being legitamately injured. That and the "soap opera" style of the "angles" that take place are often the reasons as to why it is popular.
Also, remember when Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson guest-starred on Voyager as The Pendari Champion?
I wonder if that is the only Star Trek/pro wrestling connection that exists, I cant think of any others right now!
"The Big Show" was on Enterprise as an Orion Slavemaster, during the Augments trilogy.
The REAL reason for the enmity between Prof. X and Magneto.