And add to that there are people out there who really think that New Mexico is a foreign country and that Idaho and Iowa are the same state!
Here's another funny but true story:
I was listening to the congregation in my church reading in unison (a prayer or something, I can't remember exactly what we were reading), and realized that they sound just like the Borg! I mentioned it to my sister, and we had a hard time not cracking up in the middle of the service!
Margie, man that's funny! You must be Catholic 
My first season working for the forest service, I heard all kinds of great stories about tourists who would ask their river rafting guides if the rafts run on an underwater track, or if the river runs in a big circle, like a ride at disneyland. Tourists sometimes think that wildlife is somehow "brought out" for them to see and take pictures of, too.
LOL, margie!
And Allegra, did you ever hear anyone ask about when the animals ate (or worse, got fed)?
Oops! Sorry, allegra, didn't mean to capitalize your username.
I have a bathroom scale -- brand name = Borg. "You will be fat ass-similated!"
Nope, not Catholic, but Methodist. It was Easter, I think, so there were a lot of people in church. I've noticed it a few times since then, mostly on the few occasions when there's a lot of people in the congregation. I guess that the more voices there are, the more they tend to blend together Borg-like.
My parents have a "Morn" gas-range. How convenient.
Does it ever stop making noise, Electron?
Strangely, it does not drink at all!
CR; didn't hear anyone ask about when the animals were fed, but they all did want to go and feed/pet the bears, deer, elk, and wild turkeys.
(no worries about caps, I'm just too lazy to type my own name correctly)
I'm too lazy to type my full name out after the first post on a board.
The Borg were at church again on Easter! 
My sister and I were cracking each other up - after the congregation would finish a unison prayer or reading, one of us would whisper, "We are the Borg. Resistance is futile." It was very hard to keep a straight face and not laugh out loud!
LOL! 
And now a story about an enlarged prostate.
Proof that Barry Manilow does have a sense of humour.
But what happened to the wall?
Sophie - As far as I'm aware, the Great Wall of China remained unscathed.
margie - LOL from me too! A (Catholic) friend of mine regularly tunes into Vatican Radio over the Net, and I hear the exact same thing you describe whenever I listen to it. I tried the old "ressitance is futile" trick on him and he LOL'd too.
All in all we're just another brick in the wall.
And Barry Manly-Nose even got a mention on "It's Been A Bad Week"! Mitch Benn, we all love you.
Sven, at least your friend has a sense of humor!
Jacques Chirac demonstrates Vulcan neck pinch.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2963928.stm
The return of an old tradition: boy-bouncing from South Wales!
I know, it sounds like a dodgy practice - but hey, don't knock it until you've tried it.
Sven of Dai,
Even with writing so prevalent it has not been replaced. I used to do mortgage loans and the number of deed that describe the property as being bounded by "the old maple tree in the Northwest corner to the boulder in the Northeast corner..." was incredible. Oh in case anyone is wondering, trees die and rocks get dug up.
Organisers of Bike Week will hope the findings do not put people off cycling.
Well, Bill Clinton's just traded in his BMX, I'll tell you that right now...
In that case, here's an alternative to impotence:
Dubya takes on the Axle of Evil...
Funny if it were true:
Imagine UK electricity provider Powergen branching into the Italian market. It might be called... wait for it...
powergenitalia.com!
Oh if it were so true...
Mind you, that never stopped Go Ogle...
But someone has secured the domain name powergen-italia.com, funnily enough.
And of course, Lake Tahoe's recruitment drive for gardening equipment: www.gotahoe.com
But the big question is: who's going dressed as Robert Mugabe?
Happy 21st, Wills.
Crazed Buzz Lightyear wannabe resorts to desperate measures to flee Britain
Hi--I'm new here. I don't really know where to start. Is there an area for introductions? I am not used to this format.
I wanted to say Hi to Phil, but I can't seem to find him. Does he post here much anymore? I know he's pretty busy.
Welcome Lisa. There really isn't any area for introductions, usually it's just mentioned in the user's first post.
As for the chief (Phil Farrand) he doesn't often visit the site now ("This Week At Nitcentral" has become "This Year At Nitcentral" and even that description seems a bit imprecise), but if you want to say hi to him, you can always send him an email. There is a notice on the topics page on how to do this.
This is funny.
Well, the ••••• mightier than the sword!
On message boards I often use castlelong. (That is a chess term.) On the ESPN boards it was taken. (I never met the guy. I guess he is on the College Soccer boards or something. I use the NFL board.)
So I used castlelong1. After a few days I read my own post and I realize it looks like I’m bragging about having a long1. (Are kids calling it a “castle”? )
Well, everyone has several e-mail addresses. I was going to change it. The alternative that sprung to mind was “castleshort.”
I abandoned the idea.
" Where do I get the topless bus from? " - copied from S.V.R.'s link.
So, what was the answer? :D
Across the street from a gas station in my city is a hand-made sign that says: "Price Gouging" with an arrow pointing to the gas station.
LOL!
Apparently, this guy's flight plan was filed by someone named Mr. I. Ronnie.
I thought it was Jack "Sparrow" who made this landing...
In "The Definitive World War II" DVD set, you'll see during "The Battle of Britain" a man running into a Police Box.
When I saw that, I immediately thought of Dr. Who...because the Police Box in the video looked EXACTLY like the TARDIS
Hitler alive?
(I'd seriously think about changing the name of this establishment if I was them...especially considering the services they offer)
GOLDEN "DUH" AWARD: One time during a live performance of "The Carol Burnett Show", someone in the audience asked Carol, "Is this a repeat show?"
In 1998, sixteen year old Johnathon Capewell had a heart attack and died from a build-up of lethal fumes in his body following months of extreme spray on deoderant use. When paramedics arrived they waved their armpits at the boy to shock him out of the O.D. but they were too late. The real tragedy is he'd just been to a meeting of Deoderholics Anonymous and taken that first important step. He stood up inf ront of a room full of people and said 'Hi, I'm Johnathon, I smell like a tart's handbag.' But even though his life was short, Johnathon still achieved something very special: A great big hole in the ozone layer above Manchester. The family asked people not to send flowers - they just left the coffin lid slightly open. After Johnathon was cremated his parents kept his ashes so they could use them in a pot pourri.