There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept his money in a bucket
His daugter named "Nan"
Ran off with a man.
As for the bucket, Nantucket.
Easter is tough for male 13 year old.
When candy in pastel colors is sold.
Getting pink peeps
Gave him the creeps
(Testosterone levels are not affected by food coloring, I’m told.)
In NitC we have such high hopes
Though many would call us poor dopes
To nit is to live
No quarter we give
Till creators swing us from ropes!
As for Berry's most recent limerick, I offer this:
There was a young bard from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He said 'It's because
I always try to get as many words in the last line as I possibly can.'
Jared reads many mags for horsepower gains
But one itty bitty problem remains
Out of the gate he
Will do 180
And must guard against slow airplanes.
I was real bored at work. I ultra-filter oil. (There more to it than it sounds.) We ran into a bad lot bunch of raw material at a time when the 0.2 micron filters were running low. Hence the day had me staring at oil dripping into a gallon jug from a 40 gallon tank. If I left or fell asleep it is an event for the EPA.
For space reasons I won't mention how I can't read, etc. I can however write shorter poetry. (Don't ask.) I won't bore you with hiaku.
“At 42 psi a gallon will take
an hour* to fill, give or take
for Friday’s order
we’ll be on the border
if we don’t get an unlucky break.”
*OK, 31 minutes, but that does not scan
2
“If it clogs and actually goes slower
Tell the order ‘twas nice to know her
(I’m so bored I’m rhyming
Like, all of the time –ing.)
Is there a way to increase the flow –er?
A dating service starts
With the Queen of hearts
The suicide king
Could tell them something
(Someone didn’t know playing card art.)
God must hate me.
Of the women in my life
This fact causes me strife
(You’ll think I’m sick,
Or just plain pathetic)
The prettiest is my ex-wife.
How should one pronounce “Alekhine”?
That depends on how one would say “swine.”
He was a German
Of that breed of vermin
That was in power back in ’39.
I want a drug that makes me upset
And shrivels my testicles, yet
Improves my score at sports
Of all types or sorts
Cocaine is old school, I bet.
Here's a couple of physics limericks.
There once was a young man named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light
He set out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night
There once was a fencer named Fisk
Whose sword was exceedingly brisk
So fast was his action
The Lorentz contraction
Reduced his epee to a disk.
The Welsh asked God "Let's see a try,
It really would be t'riffic."
Then England scored. The Lord replied
"You should have been specific!