It's an old party favourite. To find out what your name would be if you were a porn star:

1) Use the name of your first pet as your first (Christian) name,

2) then for your surname take the name of the street in which you grew up.


I'm rather proud of the name I ended up with - Sam Waterfall!!

1) Use the name of your first pet as your first (Christian) name,

2) then for your surname take the name of the street in which you grew up.

I don't think "Vanilla 400 North" really works.

So what would?... Maybe I could be Randy McNally?

Then I would be either Teddy Pulaski or Teddy Vincent. (I like the latter better.)

Bill Bedford. Of course using "Blue" and "Berry" I can think of several porn things like Blue Berry, baby.;)

I'd be either Champ Archwood or Jasmine Archwood. I suspect the first.

I need to do something fun in light of the Space Shuttle disaster going on, and this is about as mindless as it gets.

Mine would be Clancy Meadows.

Mine would be Duke Briarsfield.

I would be Jon Oakley... not the most exciting name, but there you go...

The Mighty Oakley, Jon?

I have a dog named Duke, Benn.

Michaelangelo Hickory

Duke was a basset hound we had when I was a kid. As a matter of fact, Duke was our pet when we lived on Briarsfield.

I'd read in a book catalog a variation on this idea, using a fruit or food for the first name and your grandmother's maiden name for the last name. Of course, that's getting a little personal using the grandmother's maiden name; I like this version better.

My Duke's a--get this--black lab/springer spaniel mix. Whoever let those two energetic breeds mix was not thinking very clearly. The dog has boundless enthusiasm, to put it lightly. (Or to refer to your recent Music Catch Basin post, Benn, "Pure Energy.")

I would be Willum Woodbine!

And I'm Pickle Chelwood!

Oh, I didn't understand. I'd be Lance Bedford. (Sounds like a soap opera character who is friends with "Trucker.")

Mine doesn't work for two reasons- Maxine Calle del Ranchero!

I dunno, that works, if you're not a guy.

Yeah... hence the problem...

How about Max? The rest, well, are you a swarthy latin?

Hmm, I'd be Clancy Lawson. Not exactly a name that makes you think porn is it?

DoEG: I don't think "Vanilla 400 North" really works.

I dunno. Depends on the source of the, er, vanilla; whether that's in millilitres or fluid ounces; and whether it's pointing to true, grid, or magnetic north.

Spooky Foxhill !! Make of that what you will.

Vanilla 400 North, the latest flick starring Randy McNally.

I may not be a swarthy Latin, but hey, that's why they invented accents!

That would make me Buttons Nassau.

"Barney Oliver" here. Not too bad, but not especially sexy, though, either.

Tom, you could wear a purple dinosaur suit as your gimmick!

Scott--

You do realize that now I have to kill you for making that suggestion, don't you?

On second thought, I'm not sure I could support Trek Grrl and her sisters in the style to which they've grown accustommed. Consider yourself reprieved until they are all grown and off on their own.

Don't forget your threatening to kill Death himself.

THANK YOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT.

Missy Hayworth

I guess I'm only suited for transvestite porn.

Sam 66th Place. Not exactly the perfect name.

However, my street was renamed to 66th Place before I was born. If I use the original name for the street, I'd be...Sam Hooker! I'm not kidding-the streets had been named after Civil War Generals.

Hmmmm...Lucy Lascelles. Not bad...although I think I might have to relocate to Paris and learn the can-can.

Sounds like you're saying that like it's a bad thing, kerriem!

Salty Old Buckley Hwy.

I suppose I could shorten it to Salty Buckle?

"Arrrrrrrr, I be Salty Buckle, Pirate Porn Star! Avast ye, wench! Heave 'ho and prepare to be boarded!"

Never have seen me dance, have you, Sparrow?

I would be Sylvia Adams!

(My first cat as a child. Sylvia, was actually named after the cat in the ST:TOS epsiode "Catspaw".)

Slightly related to this topic, on an internet comic called The Adventures Of Bwee-Bwee & Monkee, by the Calvillo sisters, Liz was telling of Bianca's pet hamster, Porno. It seems that Bianca decided to give it to her cousins and that it was funny to hear 3 & 5 year olds asking for Porno. ;-)
The name was changed to Peanuts or something. I would guess at the insistence of the parents.

KAM, I'm still laughing out loud 24 hours after reading your post! (No, I didn't laugh the whole time.) That "Arrrr!" just floored me for some reason.

I liked the "Heave 'ho" part!

Salty, that story about "Porno" reminded me of the old Our Gang short in which Stymie and the kids first got Petey. At first they named him "Smallpox" and were going around telling people they had "Smallpox". The parents in the neighborhood were suitanbly worried. By the short's end Smallpox's name was changed to Petey. Off hand, I can't remember, or find the title of that particular short.

Then there's the old "I named my dog 'Sex'" joke.

Hmmm..... would the pirate also be an angry fisherman?
I suppose Lance Pepperman would be a good porn name, too

Thanks, CRrrrrrrrrrrrr... ;-)

You'd probably also like ScottN's Angry Fisherman who appears in the Port Mike boards. (Which can be found here at NitCentral in the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 section in the Soap Operas folder)

I'm glad someone got the pun, "Champ". (Or should that be ChampA? ;-)

Sam 66th Place. Not exactly the perfect name.

Well, no-one can accuse you of coming first.

I know a woman who would be Brandy Kessler.

I'd be Tommy Summit.

Boy, that name leads itself to all kinds of double-entendre tag lines!

I'm not seeing it. What tag lines?

Brian Magnolia.

Luigi: Maybe I was in a weird state of mind (big shock). I was thinking of mountaineering puns, like "mounting the summit," "a big climb," that sort of thing. As usual, I probably shouldn't post when I'm tired.

Tag lines, eh? Send for the proctologist!

Mine would be Elizabeth Hillandale. That sounds like a Madame.

If i use a friut and my grandmothers maiden name I would be Strawberry Wyatt. That sounds more like it.

I just like the sound of this name...

Technically, I could also be Pickle Stephens, Pickle Hornby or Pickle Wanderdown. (We moved a lot.) So which one sounds better?

I could be Jasmine Topanga, but that's the wrong gender... Mrs. ScottN, on the other hand....

ScottN, it's only the wrong gender if you insist on playing it straight. If you were a cross-dressing porn star...

Paul - Pickle Wanderdown sounds like the best one to me...

I was initially thinking Hornby, but yeah, Wanderdown edges it out a bit.

Yeah...if only 'Hornby' was spelt a little differently!

Charlie Pheasant

Any relation to Charlie "Bird" Parker? (Now here was a guy who really knew how to blow his own horn!)

Figaro Lilac? No, just doesn't fly.

Snowball Kentucky.

"Snowball"? That's gross - if you know what snowballing is. And I am not saying here on Nitcentral!

Is it related to the pearl necklace manufacturing industry?

Yes.

I could use Ginny Lynwood, Ginny Bridwell, or Mick Bridwell, none of those sound all that exciting to me.

I dunno... "Titanman20" sounds like it would work, at least for the name of a movie!

Aaaargh! Just paint a T on his chest, give him a cape & mask, his first mission can be stopping some bikini bandits from robbing the local sperm bank... Aaaargh, the script just writes itself.

If you painted the "T" onto a shirt, would that be a t-shirt?

I guess so.

See, a t-shirt, 'cause it has a "t" on it. Maybe I should have spelled it "tee shirt."
Maybe it's just not all that funny...

If you hit a golf ball off it it's a tee-shirt.

If you wrap it around some Earl Grey & dip it in hot water it's a tea-shirt.

OK, OK, if I tell both of you you're sort of, maybe, possibly, on a really good day kinda funny, will you knock it off?

(Also, that if it's from the mid-'80s and has a picture of a big scowling African-American man on it, you have to call it Mr. T-shirt...)

I pity da fool who don't wear my T-shirt! Oh, and dial 1-800-Collect.

KAM, now we know why you only tried it once...

Yes, & my material wasn't as good as the shirt gags.

if I tell both of you you're sort of, maybe, possibly, on a really good day kinda funny, will you knock it off?
Would you expect a puppy to leave if you fed it? ;-)

I would be either Willy Beckett or Joey Ashdale.

Probably the latter, on reflection.

No obvious jokes pleaaase.

Sooooo... I would be... Gypsy Secondary Highway 666... riiiiiiight....

My name would be MUD, because my grandmother would kill me.

My name would be "Wet Dream", because dream on; I'm married and you can't have me.

Observer = The Observer from LICC?

No.

I'd be Lady Winlark or, in the grandmother version, Peaches Thompson.

Buck Naked. That's what George Costanza claimed when he wanted to dump somebody. And when he told her he was gay with Jerry and he caught Jerry with a woman.

It's complicated, I know. Watch the episode to find out.

But really following these rules, it would be Jasper Wing.

Ginger and/or Maryann.

er, the 1965 Ging er and /or Maryann.

Using Sven of Nine's instructions at the beginning of this thread;
It's an old party favourite. To find out what your name would be if you were a porn star:

1) Use the name of your first pet as your first (Christian) name,

2) then for your surname take the name of the street in which you grew up.

Unfortunately, mine wouldn't be too good...I'd be;

Pepper Edith!

I would be Coco Laurentides.

i'd be Billie Bullen.