Emily - you were asking in the Eternity Weeps page whether this is worth £1.50. I've just read it and I'd have to say yes. The main plot doesn't exactly explore unchartered waters, but it combines a tragic human story with the alien aspect very well.

I'm amazed at how many of the New Adventures are difficult books to read. That's not to say that they don't have redeeming features - most of them do - but there aren't too many flowing, page-turner type novels, for me. This book was an enjoyable read; well-paced and with characters that you actually got to know.

Oh yeah, and there's a total bloodbath at the end which was gross and lots of fun.

Just my opinion, for what it's worth.

Right. I'm off to Forbidden Planet tonight to buy it. And if I don't consider it worth my hard-earned cash, I'll be sure to let you know ;)

Couldn't agree more about the New Adventures in general. I find the BBC ones a lot easier to read - at least, I haven't had to give up on any of them halfway through. This isn't to say that all BBC NAs are worth the effort, of course.

The last time I was in London, I tried to find Forbidden Planet and failed. Isn't it on or near Oxford Street? Or is there some sort of secret street numbering plan in the city?

It's in New Oxford Street, which is just off the Tottenham Court Road end of Oxford Street...if that's any help.

Do you know the nearest tube station? That's how I get about London.

I'm assuming there's a big difference between Oxford Street and New Oxford Street.

Yes, Tottenham Court Road is the tube station. Turn right outside it and there's New Oxford Street. Get yourself an A-Z. Or better still, give me a ring and I'll escort you.

I'll let you know when I'm in town.

Well, eventually Emily got her quid fifty back, when she passed the book on to me (along with SVAS, all hail the Goddess).

•••• good stuff, one of the best NAs (up there with Human nature and Falls the Shadow IMHO).

I agree, Ed. Very powerful book. I like that Mrs. Jericho, while the ostensible cause of all the problem, was never made out to be the out&out villianess, but the victim of her own human frailties.

Ah yes, our life's happiness is in safe hands, Russell T Davies is a •••• good writer. Have just reread this in preparation for the Great Day and was very happy. (Though god knows how the new series is gonna pretend to be a kids' show, given his obsession with sex and violence.) My only problem came when Mrs Jericho killed her husband. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against her killing her husband, it's just that I've seen Davies's The Second Coming, where the Saviour bloke dies after knowingly eating a rat-poisoned meal cooked for him by his lover. Exactly the same thing happens in Damaged Goods (except that Jesus ate it voluntarily and Mr Jericho because his wife was waving a fork around in a threatening manner, though if I was him I'd've risked the fork rather than the rat poison). Anyway...I'm a bit worried that Russel T Davies is prone to recycling ideas. In which case, stand by for a lot of gay sex in the North of England.

This book would have made a great TV serial. Small and human to start with and then a SFX extravaganza at the end. Naturally 'The Waterboys' version of the Yeats poem would be the soundtrack.

The body count is an impressive 12,000+ but none are made to seem gratuitous which does happen with some other writers. *coughjimmortimorecough* Unlike 'Death of Art' the psi-based scenes is quite gripping because a large dose of humanity is injected into them as it is throughout the book. I especially liked the general lack of authorial moralising which allowed the characters to be rounded and ultimately tragic as all suffered due to events beyond their control.

Apart from the author obviously doing a Mary-Sue so he could shag Chris there was a fun little line with the hard drinking receptionist who punched an N-form being called Judy Summerfield.

If the series is anywhere near the quality of this book then we're in for a some seriously good shows.

Emily - you shouldn't worry so much about Russell T Davies and the kids show thing. He managed to write two children's fantasy serials - Dark Season (1991) and Century Falls (1993) - without including any scenes of gay sex or rat poison eating. On the other hand I've never knowingly seen his episodes of Chucklevision so who knows what he may have got away with there?

Chucklevision - what kind of name is that?

Graham, I've always been a bit bothered by the David n'Chris thing. (When I say 'always' I of course mean 'since someone on the Net mentioned they had sex cos such a thing never occurred to me when I read Damaged Goods, though second time round it's bloody obvious'.) Only two books ago Chris finally declared his unrequited love for Roz, and it turned out to be...quite requited, actually. I'm not an expert on thirtieth century courting rituals (or twenty-first century ones either) but surely this calls for a few red roses, or a seduction attempt, or SOMETHING. Instead of which, he completely ignores the matter in Death of Art (er...I THINK he does anyway, admittedly I can't actually remember anything about Death of Art) and then goes gay for Damaged Goods.

And it's not even as if he WANTED to have sex with David, he just did it because of some nonsense David told him about regretting not doing things, which reminded Chris of something the Doctor had said, whereupon Chris promptly starts removing his clothing. (How feeble minded IS he?!)

Chucklevision is a comedy series for children in which two incredibly thick brothers - Paul and Barry Chuckle - have amusing misadventures. It began in September 1987 and is currently on its sixteenth season on BBC1.

If Emily isn't already wrinkling her nose in disgust, she will when I add that the series followed on from another series for younger children, Chucklehounds, which was much the same except that the leads were dressed up in giant dog costumes.

Chris has a brief memory of "steamy windows" in 'So Vile A Sin' so I guess the car had a back seat. It was the one point where the authorial desire to make a statement slightly over-rode the needs of the plot but, in light of the rest of the book, it can be forgiven. Now what would have really been interesting would have been David and the Doctor in the car...

Can't believe I lived in England for six years and missed Chucklevision. Must have had something to do with not being a student.

*Carefully restraining desire to lunge at Graham's throat* Actually I'm not sure David saying 'Any chance of a shag?' and the Doctor replying 'What's a shag?' WOULD have been more interesting.

Come to think of it - even aside from the unnecessary and implausible sex - RTD didn't treat the Companions that well. Neither of them have proper roles - Roz gets to capture a bad guy, and Chris gets to fetch the Doctor some cocaine and, er, that's it. Admittedly that's about as much as they do in most Roz and Chris books, but that's probably because Benny's usually around and is obviously going to get most of the action, what with her being a lot more interesting.

I'm appalled to hear about Chucklevision, and indeed Chucklehounds, let alone my new god's association with such things.

But doesn't it hearten you that a series that HE has written for has lasted so long? Chucklevision now has been running for as long as Doctor Who had by the times of 'The Horns of Nimon'...

Pah!

Well, what did I tell you? Russell T Davies recycles things! Now he's gone and recycled the hero of his Second Coming! Not that I'm complaining in any way...

Plus Tyler is a name used a lot in Damaged Goods, AND is the new Companion's surname.

This book would have made a great TV serial. Small and human to start with and then a SFX extravaganza at the end.

I hadn't realised till I read that that THIS is what RTG was ripping off for The Next Doctor. One bitter, obsessed, sick-of-being-ordered-around-by-men woman who alien tech turns, against her will, into an SFX extravaganza stomping all over London, until the Doctor approaches her throne room and shows her what she's become...

RTG goes nitpicking: 'There's one marvellous bit where Mrs Jericho "folds" her mobile phone and puts it away. Like, in 1987? Why did no-one spot that? I mean, we all had those great big brick mobile phones...Literally, when it was printed and it arrived, that was the first page I turned to, and I just wept' - bless! He is truly One Of Us!

He also thinks he's 'mad' for setting it in 1987 ('I don't know why I did that...I think I was just being young and perverse, really') instead of the then-modern day ('It would have been a real document of 1996').

Oh, and it's also 'bound up in musicals' - 'a great big response to Blood Brothers' with 'a bit of Les Miserables in there' if THAT means anything to any fans of musical theatre in our midst.

And his response to the BBC wanting to put Damaged Goods on the website in 2005: 'The most important task we had in 2004 was cleaning up the brand, dusting it off, and making sure it didn't attract any new problems. There were already enough "GAY SEX " headlines around...To invite the headline "Doctor Who showrunner writes plots in which cocaine explodes in your head!" would have been terribly, terribly misleading, and it would have been damaging.'

Re blowing up the train: 'I don't know how well-written that bit is, because it's probably me in a rush. You can see me going, "Oh my God, everything can blow up and explode", and having a marvellous time...I decided all that on the spot, as I was writing, and probably didn't have time to go back and edit it. It's probably got saliva on the page still!'

'We couldn't have a subplot about cocaine, so I changed that to be a made-up drug' - Jonathan Morris re the audio adaptation. Oh, well, that's alright then.

'Her kids come first. Very selfless' says the actress playing Winnie. Yeah, who HASN'T flogged one of their kids for cold hard cash?

Audio version:

Roz has got LONG hair on the cover? I wish they'd stop showing photos of the actors rather than the ACTUAL CHARACTERS as described in dozens of novels.

Also, Roz doesn't sound as tough OR authoritative as the real thing. Plus she gets knocked out by Mrs Jericho, for heaven's sake.

Not that Chris comes off much better. He gets a lot of stupid-Companion questions to ask and he doesn't ask them particularly convincingly. Plus, the future of the planet depends on him getting his hands on some drugs but he wanders the streets and bars OF LONDON for hours incapable of doing so? I'd be better at scoring some drugs than this guy.

Though to be fair, it's an astonishingly successful attempt to squish a really dense book into a couple of hours. SOMETHING had to give, it's just a shame it happens to be Roz n'Chris.

'Quite posh in the Quadrant, having a doctor' - QUITE. No one asks WHY a well-paid professional should decide to settle down in this lawless hellhole?

'Pools win' - ah, a typical RTG touch, or at least a typical RTG pre-Lottery touch.

So if the Capper's home is firebombed, presumably the former members of his gang actually BELIEVE he's back? In spite of the fact that the bloke claiming to be the Capper returned from the grave looked nothing like him and acted really weird?

'I ain't afraid of no fire' - oh well, •••• off and run into the burning building and collect your Darwin Award then, loser.

Don't know why the DOCTOR gets profusely thanked for telling everyone to stay away from the fire when Roz did it too, and more loudly and frequently.

'No one says wicked any more' 'In 1987? I could have sworn they did' - lovely little swipe at Ace.

If Gabriel has the Glamour needed to make everyone do what he wants without him having to say a word, how come he has to blackmail Harvey?

The nurse couldn't understand why Winnie was unhappy to learn she's expecting twins? She's SERIOUSLY never met anyone IN POVERTY before?

TORCHWOOD! They mentioned TORCHWOOD! They sure as hell didn't do THAT in the book. (VERY nice alternative to mentioning some Psi Powers Brotherhood stuff that never made much sense in the first place.)

'I'm not saving the world over the phone' - bless! RTG and the Doctor will be changing their tune soon enough...

Why does the Doctor think that 'once Chris gets the Smile its over'? Wouldn't Chris have to get the drug to him, for starters? And as it's so important why didn't they start the hunt to buy some drugs days ago?

'Vampires as in...VAMPIRES?!' - Benny never told Chris about being stranded on that State of Decay planet?

The Doctor spends five minutes expositioning to Chris before saying 'Give me the Smile'?

Thousands of people turning into monsters thanks to ingesting alien-contaminated goods whilst a madwoman croons about being their mummy? Well, at least we know where RTG got the not-terribly-good idea for Partners in Crime from.

Um, so their mum's murdered body isn't even cold when her kids are told (in 1987!) to move in with two gay neighbours (so ashamed of being gay they've only just admitted it to each other - they haven't even SLEPT together yet! One of 'em was snogging Chris Cwej ten minutes ago!) and their reaction is 'Two dads! Cool!'...??

Bookwyrm:

'Jacob Tyler, Winnie's absentee husband, might be the Jack Tyler who appeared in Image of the Fendahl (the kids are born around that time, and this influence may explain their abilities).' - There's no way any grandson of Old Ma Tyler would DARE abandon his wife and kids like that!

'Amusingly, the Doctor says "••••". Okay, so we don't actually have the four-letter word written, but, after years of being told that "the Doctor swore in Old High Gallifreyan", the narrative here tells us that he "swore in plain Anglo-Saxon"' - look...the Doctor didn't say '••••', OK? There must be some other, rather-less-rude Angle-Saxon words he could have used...?

HIV 'was most certainly not cured in 2015 and remains a death sentence. The idea that something as horrifically real as HIV/AIDS is going to get cured by the fiction of a thirtieth-century policeman getting a blowjob in the past thanks to a time-travelling police box is just crass...The word we're looking for is "cheap"' - if RTG does it it is not, by definition, cheap.

About Time 9:

Damaged Goods is blessed with 'Davies's misprision of "tribophysics" (the science of lubrication) and "triobiphysics" (the science of making doorways appear by waving your hands about)' - adorable! (Though I think About Time may be misinterpreting the word 'misprision'...?)