Well, that wasn't as bad as I - well, not remembered exactly, since I didn't remember a thing except that last line, but as bad as I suspected it would be from the fact I didn't remember a thing, not to mention the fact no one had had a single word to say about it. It's just a pity about the interminable and tedious attempt at a grand finale, in which people are attacked by scarecrows. Over and over and over and over and over again. With occasional appearances by, um, angels and the wild hunt and stuff.
Certain things ('He hadn't been called a boy for almost a thousand years', the Doctor's Teletubby fixation, his mum) now feel considerably less blasphemous than when they were written. 'His Majesty' however, doesn't - despite it fitting in with Battlefield.
'Bastard-spawn of the King's father' - the King's BROTHER, you moron.
The Doctor goes to all the trouble of nipping back in time...to book a table to eat in a restaurant that's EMPTY? And where he's on friendly terms with the owners?
Ace FINALLY gets a clue as to what's going on - terrified screaming noises - but Matson stops her looking out of the window and once he's gone and she looks out, 'the green was as black as the midnight sea', she decided that 'whatever had happened...seemed to have left behind little or no evidence' (how can she TELL, in the pitch dark?) and 'the thought of running into Bob Matson again sent a chill down her spine.' So she...goes back to bed. Since when has Ace been such a coward? (Still, at least this is a BIT more subtle than Terrance Dicks when it comes to threatening the Companion with rape.)
Why doesn't Ace think of setting fire to the scarecrows? Well, at least this solution eventually dawns on SOMEONE, unlike in Family of Blood.
'I hope Bob Matson hasn't made life...difficult for you' - how did Steven know that Ace had screwed up and Matson knew she passed Steven's note to his wife?
'In most other places, interbreeding causes extra limbs or close-set eyes' - extra LIMBS? Since when?
The Minister of Defence doesn't know about an explosion when journalists are already digging up behind-the-scenes stuff on it? The book DOES mention such things as mobile phones and the internet, but it doesn't really seem to grasp how much they'll take over our lives.
Why does Hatch trek out to this wretched village and put himself to the terrifying trouble of an interview with his evil master...to tell him that results are expected within four days? Jack's waited three hundred years!
'Stephen and Sara' - should be STEVEN.
Why is Steven helping Ace break into the Church when he obviously doesn't want to? It's not as if he's in THAT much debt to her for delivering a note.
Why doesn't McCoy just hypnotise the guard outside Kenny's flat and scarper?
Bit stupid to cover the Doc with explosives to force him to plant drugs on Nicola when Jane was already there and happy to do it. (Kinda undercuts the 'bouncer is too stupid' excuse for not just getting HIM to do it.)
Doctor has a philosophy degree from Vienna? Since when!
Why does Hatch never get the message Phil left him?
Denman tells Hill (who he (correctly) suspects of being a traitor) where he's going...and Hill lets him go. And Denman says 'You say that there's nothing here to find' despite the fact that Hill said nothing of the sort.
'Johnny bleedin' Chester...was all right till he married that Australian bird' - oh god, not more PDA nonsense about Ian and Barbara having a pop star son called Johnny Chester who married Tegan...
The Doctor takes SEVERAL DAYS to give Ace a thought?
Tower Records? In the 2010s? DON'T think so, sunshine.
Ace is sure they'll be safe from the scarecrows in Steven's parents' place WHY, exactly?
The Doctor claims he stayed 'for a few weeks' in Hodcombe after defeating the Malus! How the HELL did Tegan force him to do THAT when Rose herself couldn't even get Eccy to have supper with her mum, for god's sake?
Have to say, the damp-squib psi powers stuff all feels a bit pathetic beside the NAs' dozens-of-books psi arc.
'For the first time since she was ten, Ace let out something close to a scream' - SOMEONE hasn't been watching Battlefield recently...
On the one hand, the attempt to tie it in with Awakening is a bit pathetic - Awakening is the last story to give a Who fan that warm glow - but on the other hand, it's probably preferable to the dozens (well, Terror/Sting/Bodysnatchers/Fell to Earth anyway) of unconnected Zygon crash-landings on Earth.
'Even the Terileptils turned against the Hakolians, aghast at their continual butchery!' -on the whole I've really enjoyed the overabundance of continuity references. THIS, however, is particularly pointless, not to mention slander of innocent Terileptils.
'Haven't you read any H. P. Lovecraft?' asks Ace. Well, I didn't get the impression SHE had, what with not noticing that the Lurkers at Sunlight's Edge audio was such an, er, tribute to Lovecraft.
'My mother always told me if I didn't have anything good to say about anyone, I shouldn't say anything at all' - alright, leaving aside this Doctor-has-a-mother nonsense (something I just can't come to terms with despite having MET the damned woman in End of Time)...since when has the Doctor followed THAT particular advice? He's always saying nasty things about villains' world-domination plans/dirty fingernails.
The Doc tells Ace to leave the bigger picture to him...so she leaves it to a couple of the CONTAMINATED VILLAGERS to check he's OK? And if she's that keen on obeying orders, why did she smash that big-picture mirror?
'[The Doctor] only ever sounded that flustered when the trivial things in life went pear-shaped' - no he didn't.
What the hell is going on with the Hatch/Trevor/Rebecca...er...'love' triangle? She was spying on Hatch for WHOM, exactly?
Ahhhh, how sweet! The happy couple back together again! What's a bit of racist-firebombing between spouses?
Who just shouldn't be quite this...adult. At least it's adult in a more, well, adult way than Terrance Dicks ever manages, but I could have lived without the Doctor's expertise on child-abuse, not to mention the hints that Denman raped his daughter.
oh god, not more PDA nonsense about Ian and Barbara having a pop star son called Johnny Chester who married Tegan...
...Who's in Australia campaigning for Aboriginal rights and not, in any way, married to some British pop star. (Well, I suppose they could have got divorced. Pop stars do.)
Not quite seeing why the Hakolian organic war machine was lurking underground all that time just cos it missed bumping into the Malus. Didn't either of them have any way to LOCATE each other? And what was the point of a war machine if the Malus was already programmed to destroy the whole •••• planet already?
oh god, not more PDA nonsense about Ian and Barbara having a pop star son called Johnny Chester who married Tegan...
...Who's in Australia campaigning for Aboriginal rights and not, in any way, married to some British pop star.
Unless Nyssa became a British pop star which is...unlikely.
Tbf this was Keith Topping nonsense rather than PDA nonsense.
GODS, you mean I've spent decades being annoyed at something that isn't even BOOK-canon??
oh god, not more PDA nonsense about Ian and Barbara having a pop star son called Johnny Chester who married Tegan...
...Who's in Australia campaigning for Aboriginal rights and not, in any way, married to some British pop star.
Unless Nyssa became a British pop star which is...unlikely.
*Sigh* I guess Johnny Chester's back in the running now Tegan's gone and mentioned two ex-husbands and no Nyssas in Power of the Doctor...
...Though if THAT was the case we'd probably have noticed Tegan glaring daggers at her ex-father-in-law in the Companion Support Group...