You know, this was the book that finally broke down my resistance to the Doctor having sex. Not because I was so touched by his relationship with Mrs Flood, but because I found it such a total abomination that I realised how s t u p i d I'd been bedgrudging the Doctor all those other alleged instances of, er, female (and male) Companionship all these years. So it's official. I hope that Mr and Mrs Who (um, the First Doctor and Susan's granny) had a long and happy marriage, with tons of children. I'm completely untroubled by the Infinity Doctor sleeping with his late lamented wife AND Larna. I trust that Cameca and Hartnell celebrated their engagement in suitable style. I'm no longer in the least perturbed by the Eighth's Doctor's claims that he knew Marie Curie intimately. And I'm just thrilled that he had such fun on Foreman's World with a Gallifreyan ex-Monk and ex-geeky monster who happened to be hanging around in the body of the OAP who'd slaughtered one of his previous incarnations. It's a matter of blissful indifference to me whether or not the kissing the Eighth Doctor has engaged in with ALL of his EDA Companions (bar Compassion) has led to anything more. And a relationship with Karl is now OBVIOUSLY the only explanation for all those lovers' tiffs and violin-smashing they indulged in. The Fourth Doctor and Romana were, naturally, 'at it' for the entire duration of their time together. And nothing is more natural than the Doctor snogging (and perhaps more) the woman who'd just murdered his Seventh body. And I don't care what Beyond the Sun says, I no longer have any doubts what happened after Benny shoved him on the bed. Anything...anyone...I don't care, but please god NOT a downtrodden water-spirit-housewife with no eyeballs (yeah, yeah, I know she'd got them back by the time she and the Doctor - er - AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH...sorry about that...by page 252. But if you're introduced to someone who's eyeballess, that's an image it's very hard to get out of your mind).
You know, it's never actually stated that they have sex. And in fact that whole section of the book takes place in a weird sort of dimension where all may not be as it seems. Why it's less racy than The Aztecs!
Not to sure about what the Doctor's up to with his landlady though...
*Panicking* WHAT landlady????
Look, that sex is spelt out in words of one syllable so clearly that even _I_ couldn't deny it happened. And I'm the one who thought 'Oh, what an anti-climatic way to end a book' when I M Foreman asked the Doctor to stay the night at the end of Interference I.
As soon as you give me the book back I'll quote the scene that broke my spirit. Word for word. Yes, I'd even be prepared to go through that torment in order to win an argument. My one faint ray of hope is that, as you say, things were a bit funny in that dimension, and that when the Doc finally got the hell out of there, no time seemed to have passed despite all those nights they'd spent...agggghhhhhh......I can't say it. But unfortunately I'm pretty familiar with the concept of nipping back in time. I could try claiming it was all a dream but frankly I can't imagine the Doctor having dreams like THAT any more than I can imagine him having a reality like that.
You know, the landlady of the place he stays at specifically so that he has some privacy from Anji and Fitz. Hmmm...
Well, I personally believe that there was no actual unpleasantness between the Doctor and Mrs F, though there may have been some bodily-fluid-free mind-melding of the Star Trek variety.
Pah. How about this:
"She slid down on top of him. The Doctor felt as if a light shock had shimmered over his skin. 'You don't make much use of your body, do you? You just sorta let it carry you around...There's other things to feel besides pain.' Then she bent to him, and all the input of his senses entered into his blood.
She tasted of the ocean. She never slept. Her eyes were always open and on him. Her whispers were like sounds he had heard when holding a shell to his ear.
[After she smears a peach all over his face] He just laughed and wiped his face on the sheet. She huddled in the corner of the bed, pouting.
'I thought I was making you happy.'
'I am' he said, reaching for her, 'enraptured.' It was true. He had lost all sense of time. He had lost all sense of himself and was not sorry. He would lie embracing her as if he had nearly drowned and...oh ••••, I can't go on with this. There's plenty more but I'd better rest my case before I explode.
The phrase 'maximum deniability' comes to mind.
Alternatively, try to imagine this sequence with, say, Jon Pertwee rather than Paul McGann as the Doctor. That should prevent any explosions.
The phrase 'maximum deniability' comes to mind.
MAXIMUM DENIABILITY??? Even I, Who admits 'They pretty obviously have a sexual relationship' and THIS is the book that said, of Tigers, that 'The Doctor's libido remains nil and he barely notices [Karl's] attention' a few paragraphs before quoting Orman's 'they were at it like rabbits'.
Oh, and I, Who gives a helpful list of what the Doctor's Tarot reading means, viz, all the Doctors:
Hierophant - First
Hermit - Second
Emperor - Third
Fool - Fourth
Star - Fifth
Moon - Sixth
Hanged Man - Seventh
Magician - Eighth.
Do ANY of these REMOTELY make sense?
There are multiple interpretations of the Tarot cards, allowing plenty of room to fudge the results.
Using the list I've got handy, this means:
One = Inspiration. He was more inspired than inspiring.
Two = Wisdom, Prudence. Wisdom is a given, but prudence?
Three = Will. Sounds more like the Master.
Four = Folly, Inspiration. Might be half right.
Five = Hope. Really applies to all the Doctors.
Six = Danger, Enemies & False Friends. Not exactly plausible.
Seven = Sacrifice, Ordeal. Another poor fit
Eight = the inquirer, automatically true
Interesting.
Two = Wisdom, Prudence. Wisdom is a given, but prudence?
She DID say something about Two not really fitting. (As if ANY of 'em do!)
Though Troughton WAS more ready than any other Doctor to leg it. That could count as prudence.
Four = Folly, Inspiration. Might be half right.
*Suspicious look* You DO mean the 'inspiration' half, right?
Five = Hope. Really applies to all the Doctors.
But less so to Five than to most other Doctors. He couldn't be in your (well, my) Top Five Doctors You'd Feel Really Confident And Hopeful About Having At Your Side During A Universe-Destroying Crisis. Plus Davison regenerated saying 'Is this death?' not 'While there's life, there's...'
Six = Danger, Enemies & False Friends. Not exactly plausible.
Mabye the false friends are Mel and Peri? I mean, they can't REALLY have LIKED him.
Seven = Sacrifice, Ordeal. Another poor fit
Well, not if you include the NAs. Lloyd Rose seems quite an Orman fan, so if she'd just read HER books, it would be a PERFECT fit.
Why didn't the stupid cards show FUTURE Doctors, anyway.
*Suspicious look* You DO mean the 'inspiration' half, right?
Naturally, though this isn't the stupid kind of folly. The Fool has a kind of glorious madness that leaves them at right-angles to conventional reality. They're inspired, and inspiring, because they see beneath the lying surface of the world, but equally, because they don't see surface appearances, they act like they're living in a different world to everyone else, making them look foolish.
That doesn't really fit Four, but it's not an entirely bad thing to be.
<i>Why didn't the stupid cards show FUTURE Doctors, anyway.</i?>
Because they weren't asked to, perhaps. Besides, half the cards definitely wouldn't fit the Doctor, so they'd soon run out of options.
For reference, the remaining cards are:
The Popess = the inquirer if female, which Eight wasn't. SOmetimes this card gets renamed.
The Empress = Initiative, Action. Could fit the Doctor
The Lovers = Passion. Possible
The Chariot = Triumph, Protection by providence. Definite fit
Justice = Justice. Could fit
The Wheel of Fortune = Destiny. Not really the Doctor's style.
Strength = Force. Definitely not
Death=Death, not just change. The Doctor is no killer.
Temperance= Moderation. Not the Doctor's style.
The Devil = Disease, Great Strength. Definitely not the Doctor.
The Tower = Ruin, Deception. Sounds more like the Master.
The Sun = Marriage, Happiness. Not an option for the Doctor.
Judgement = Transmutation/Change. Could work.
The World = Success, Harmony, Attainment. The Doctor usually succeeds, of course, but he can't get eternal success.
The Fool has a kind of glorious madness that leaves them at right-angles to conventional reality. They're inspired, and inspiring, because they see beneath the lying surface of the world, but equally, because they don't see surface appearances, they act like they're living in a different world to everyone else, making them look foolish.
Ooh - that SHOULD be ALL the Doctors, shouldn't it. But somehow only Eleven in The Lodger really brings it out.
The Wheel of Fortune = Destiny. Not really the Doctor's style.
That would have done well for the First Doctor. All that 'You can't change history, not one line!' stuff.
Death=Death, not just change. The Doctor is no killer.
Tell that to the Macra. And the Time Lords.
Temperance= Moderation. Not the Doctor's style.
Would have done better for Five than that stupid 'Star' thing. In fact, it's just crystalised WHY I don't love Davison. He's just so bloody moderate.
The Sun = Marriage, Happiness. Not an option for the Doctor.
No? One married Susan's granny (we can assume), Eight married Scarlette, the other Ten almost certainly married Rose and Eleven married Marilyn AND River. Any MORE wives and he'll start looking like Henry VIII.
Judgement = Transmutation/Change. Could work.
COULD work?! That's the Doctor in a nutshell.
The opening of this seems suspiciously similar to Camera Obscura's - listening to the Doctor's heart(s)beat, talking about his shifting vision, discussing the probability/impossibility odds - in Camera Obscura's case, chucking a ball through a wall, in THIS case the sun. Speaking of which, how accurate IS this?!:
'Stars are primarily hydrogen - that is, atoms containing in their nucleus one positively charged proton and one negatively charged electron - and they produce energy through fusion, which occurs when those atoms combine...Fusion is impossible. Identical electrical charges repel each other. Two positive protons from two different atoms...can't get close enough to each other for those atoms to fuse...according to the laws of physics, [stars] can't be [burning]...'
'Not Legba. Shango. And all wrapped up in the hide of a skinny white boy. You all do work in mysterious ways' - delighted as I am that someone is FINALLY not ignoring Transit's 'the Doctor is Shango the African Lightning God' claim...I actually PREFER the Doc as Legba the African Trickster God.
'The Doctor looked uncomfortable. "I'm mortal." "Except for the needing to eat and sleep and, as far as I can tell, shave, yeah. Oh, the ageing thing too."' - Hey! The Doc eats and (according to Doctor Dances, Day of the Moon and The Wedding of River Song, anyway) shaves too!
'Here I am, wanting to get back to the time when I left' - why the HELL couldn't the writers decide whether Anji wanted to go home or not??
People's eyes sliding past the TARDIS is a very New Who concept.
The Doctor has superfast healing since WHEN?
'Did you know he's destroyed millions and killed himself twice?' - actually I think the Eighth Doc's topped himself at least four times - Two-to-Three, Three-to-Four, Four-to-Five and Five-to-Six.
Having FINALLY worked out that Rust is the bad guy, Fitz and Anji...go to the TARDIS and press switches for a few hours, in the hope it'll tell 'em where the Doctor is. *Rolls eyes*
'Mortals only inhabit paradise when we're dead' - the Doctor. THAT'S funny, cos Camera Obscura gave me the distinct impression that mortals inhabit HELL when they're dead.
Speaking of which, how accurate IS this?!:
'Stars are primarily hydrogen -
That's true, about 80% of their atoms are hydrogen.
that is, atoms containing in their nucleus one positively charged proton and one negatively charged electron -
Not accurate. Hydrogen does have one proton in its nucleus, but its electron orbits a good distance from it, a good distance on the atomic scale that is. However, stars are so hot that the protons cannot hold on to their electrons and the entire substance of a star is made up of plasma, a gas like state made up of freely moving positive nuclei and negative electrons.
and they produce energy through fusion, which occurs when those atoms combine...
That's accurate.
Fusion is impossible. Identical electrical charges repel each other. Two positive protons from two different atoms...can't get close enough to each other for those atoms to fuse...according to the laws of physics, [stars] can't be [burning]...'
That would only be true if the electromagnetic force was the only one acting in atoms. When protons get close enough, (trough the great speed produced by a star's enourmous heat for instance) an other force comes into play, the Strong Nuclear Force. It is that force that makes fusion possible, and also keeps any nuclei containing more than one protons (like helium, carbon, iron, any atom other than hydrogen) from flying appart.
When protons get close enough ... another force comes into play, the Strong Nuclear Force.
Two other forces, actually. The Strong Force isn't strong enough to stick two protons together - Helium 2 is not stable - so one of them has to be turned into a neutron first, and that needs the Weak Force.
That would only be true if the electromagnetic force was the only one acting in atoms. When protons get close enough, (trough the great speed produced by a star's enourmous heat for instance) an other force comes into play, the Strong Nuclear Force. It is that force that makes fusion possible, and also keeps any nuclei containing more than one protons (like helium, carbon, iron, any atom other than hydrogen) from flying appart.
Two other forces, actually. The Strong Force isn't strong enough to stick two protons together - Helium 2 is not stable - so one of them has to be turned into a neutron first, and that needs the Weak Force.
Ha! I KNEW it!
Well, OBVIOUSLY I didn't know it, exactly (Strong Force? Weak Force? UH?) I just had the REALLY STRONG FEELING that when the book starting waffling about 'fusion is impossible' we were in one of those really embarrassing 'Bumblebees can't fly!' situations.
"(Strong Force? Weak Force? UH?)"
The strong and weak nuclear forces are, along with gravity and magnetism, a) the four fundamental forces of the universe and b) things the Cybermen are allergic to.
FIVE YEARS of Physics, including a 'B' in GCSE, and NO ONE thought to tell me there are four fundamental forces of the universe. I think school should probably be abolished in favour of watching Doctor Who. It may not give you accurate answers, but at least it'll make you ask the right questions.
DWM review: 'The novel works exceedingly well as a study of the Doctor's tortured soul, and the sense that the amnesia he suffers from is more self-inflicted than real - a way for him to blot out the horrors of his past' - oh. If THAT'S what the book's all about, it's slightly misfortunate that no one warned the author that (see Gallifrey Chronicles) the Doctor didn't give a toss about blowing up Gallifrey...
It's almost like they were making it up as they went along...
To be fair, they weren't to know that WHO IS COMING BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! and they'd have to stick Gallifrey back together in record time, so that it could be blown up all over again...
...And speaking of THAT, the EDAs' Gallifrey-is-destroyed-by-the-Doctor-during-a-Time-War-but-comes-back storyline was a miracle of coherence, plausibility, and not-changing-history-in-one-big-cop-out compared to the TV series' take on this.
Why didn't the stupid cards show FUTURE Doctors, anyway.
Or, of course, Timeless Children. If those stupid flapping bits of cloth from Ghost Monument could spot 'em, tarot cards CERTAINLY should have.
For reference, the remaining cards are:
The Devil = Disease, Great Strength. Definitely not the Doctor.
S/he's got great strength. And as for the 'disease' bit...Davros: 'Compassion grows strong and fierce in you, like a cancer.'
The Tower = Ruin, Deception. Sounds more like the Master.
Seven was big on deception. And they're ALL big on ruin. Blon: 'From what I've seen, your funny little happy-go-lucky little life leaves devastation in its wake. Always moving on because you dare not look back.'
One married Susan's granny (we can assume), Eight married Scarlette, the other Ten almost certainly married Rose and Eleven married Marilyn AND River. Any MORE wives and he'll start looking like Henry VIII.
Aaaand since I said that he...married Henry VIII's daughter. Because of course he did.
'The Doctor looked uncomfortable. "I'm mortal." "Except for the needing to eat and sleep and, as far as I can tell, shave, yeah. Oh, the ageing thing too."' - Hey! The Doc eats and (according to Doctor Dances, Day of the Moon and The Wedding of River Song, anyway) shaves too!
Also, s/he sleeps (see: Audios: Third Doctor: Primord for ever-growing list of sleep incidents).
The Doctor has superfast healing since WHEN?
OK, so Four had it in Day of the Comet, where it also made sod-all sense.
The Doctor has superfast healing since WHEN?
OK, so Four had it in Day of the Comet, where it also made sod-all sense.
Also, according to DWM, 'The sticking-plaster on the Doctor's right cheek unaccountably vanishes between episodes - as does the injury it covered' in Ambassadors of Death...
'"Nothing can get into the TARDIS," the Doctor whispered. Then he realised that Nothing had.'
Well, something got in to the Eighth Doctor's TARDIS in In The Bleak Midwinter: The Empty Man so it really shouldn't have come as such a surprise.
(I s'pose you could argue that somehow the Fitz n'Anji novel adventures came before the Charley audio adventures? In which case audio-Eight shouldn't have been saying 'Impossible!' vis-a-vis something getting into the TARDIS...)