Hi all,
I don't know if this is strictly the right place to put this, but here goes (I suppose someone can always delete it if it's not supposed to be here). I collect quotes and I have a great many from Doctor Who (natch). There are a few, however, which I have not been able to trace to their source, ie, episode. I was wondering if someone could help me properly identify them. Also, if you have some favorite Doctor quotes of your own, I'd love to hear them. Thanks.

Here are the quotes:
The Brigadier: Naturally enough, the only country that could be trusted with such a role was Great Britain.
The Doctor: Naturally. I mean, the rest were all foreigners.

Tegan: We're perfectly harmless, unfortunately.

The Doctor: Crush the lesser races! Conquer the galaxy! Incredible power, unlimited rice pudding, et cetera, et cetera.

Doctor: I wonder...
Leela: What?
Doctor: Shh! I'm wondering.

Hutchinson: You speak treason!
Doctor: Fluently.

Josiah: You're so smug and self-satisfied, Doctor.
Doctor: I try.

The Brig/Doctor exchange is in Robot, vis-a-vis entrusting everyone's nuclear codes to Britain.

The Doctor's 'unlimited rice pudding' speech is to Davros, in Remembrance of the Daleks.

I assume the last quote is Ghostlight, just because it's the only story I can think of with a Josiah in it.

Favourite Who quotes:

'You made us, man of evil, but we are free!' - Castrovalva.

'Have a jelly baby.' 'So it's true! The evil one eats babies!' - Face of Evil

William Hartnell's 'One day, I shall come back' speech at the end of Dalek Invasion of Earth.

And his 'We are not of this race. We are not of this Earth' one in Unearthly Child.

'You have access to the greatest source of knowledge in the universe!' 'I talk to myself sometimes, yes' - Invasion of Time.

'Harry Sullivan is an imbecile!' - Revenge of the Cybermen.

The Doctor's 'days like crazy pavings' goodbye to Mel in Dragonfire (though it's possible I just love it because it IS goodbye to Mel).

Every line in City of Death (apart from the s t u p i d 'Shall we fly' conversation at the beginning) especially:

'What a wonderful butler, he's so violent.'

'You're a beautiful woman, probably.'

'You remember the Mona Lisa? That dreadful woman with no eyebrows who wouldn't sit still?'

'If there's one thing I can't stand, it's being tortured by a man with cold hands.'

Hmm. Better save the book quotes for when I've got a few more hours to spare.

Thanks, Emily.

I guess no one else has any favorite quotes?

Er ... even though no one seems to be hanging around here, I shall try again, with new quotes that need identifying (pleeeeeease?).

The Doctor: Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.

The Doctor: That is the dematerializing control, and that over yonder is the horizontal hold; up there is the scanner, those are the doors, and that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy. Now please stop bothering me.

Benton: What do we do now?
Doctor: Keep it confused. Feed it with useless information. I wonder if I have a television set handy? (Emily, is this Robot?)

The Doctor: I had to face my fear. That was more important than just going on living.

The Doctor: It's very very old, perhaps even older.

The Doctor: Just be your natural horrid self.

The Doctor: You know, the very powerful and the very s~tupid have one thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the facts. They alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that need altering.

My favourite quote (as it was used in a quiz night and I was the only one who got maximum points as I identified who said, where it was said, and who it was said about): "The are some corners of the universe that have bred the most terrible things" [Pat Troughton, "The Moonbase" episode 2]

The Doctor; Who's the homicidal maniac? (after being told that he and a sick Nerva station operative have to die because they've allegedly contracted the plague in "Revenge of the Cybermen".)

The Doctor; Not well? I'm the Doctor!
Harry; No, Doctor, I'm the doctor.
The Doctor; You may be a Doctor, but I am THE Doctor! The general article you might say. (from "Robot")

The Doctor; Wait a minute! I know you! You're the Chamberlin!
Chamberlin; Yes!
The Doctor; I don't like you. (from "Twin Dilemma"

Brigidier; UNIT is supposed to be a covert operation.
The Doctor; Do you think I might draw attention? (wearing a Viking outfit)
Brigidier; It's just possible. (from "Robot")

The whole set of lines from the Second and Third Doctor trying not to confuse Jo about 'I am he and he is me', from "The Three Doctors", and both Doctors insisting that the First Doctor on the screen is, "Me! ME!!", spoken at the same time.

The 'panda...sheer poetry' stuff is First Doctor to Steven, Time Medler.

The 'powerful and ••••••' quote is Fourth Doctor, Face of Evil.

The moron who decided that facing his fear was more important than living was Pertwee, at the end of Planet of the Spiders.

The 'useless information' joke is Troughton in Three Doctors, I think.

Let's have some better, i.e. book, quotes.

Lots from Dead Romance - as with City of Death, only lack of time and copyright reasons prevent one from quoting the entire thing (SPOILERS):

'Right. Let's start with the basics. The world ended on the twelfth of October, Nineteen Seventy...

'I don't know why I'm writing this. It's not like anybody's going to read it. At least, nobody who cares about the fact that I'm a desperate, dying, 23-year-old human being who's just had the whole of history taken away from her.

'To whoever's out there, to whatever's left, this is the way things were, just before the end. This is the story about the last days of London, about murder and love and waking up in the ruins, about all the people buried in the wreckage...

'I'm lying, obviously. This is _my_ story. This is what _I_ was doing, when October the twelfth came. Because, let's face it, I'm the only one who really matters.

'I'm the only one who got out alive.' (back cover)

'So, in the year when the rest of us were all pretending to hate pop music and claiming to be deeply, _deeply_ into jazz, Dorian spent most of his time hanging around cafes in Covent Garden, standing on tables and reading out poetry to anyone who'd listen, until the waitresses came and told him to stop, at which point he'd tell them that they were just pawns in an imperialist conspiracy to stifle freedom of expression. Then they'd tell him to •••• off, and Dorian would forgive them, in an act of Christlike benevolence. So there.'

'Like a lot of us who grew up in the 60s, I personally wasn't sure whether the human race was such a good idea...I went through that Apocalyptic Teenage Deadhead phase when I thought that the best thing humanity could do was wipe itself out in a nuclear war and let the insects have a go at running everything. Obviously, I grew out of it once I got to eighteen and the spots cleared up...'

'That was the way things worked in this world, wasn't it? Even now the time travellers had taken over. Nothing ever got sorted out, not really. Even if your boyfriend had ripped your face off three times over, even if your whole life was a lie designed just for his benefit, what could you do? You couldn't end it all in one big argument. You just had to sit there and run out of things to say, letting all the awkwardness and clumsiness suffocate you to death.'

Um, more books tomorrow. Maybe.

The moron who decided that facing his fear was more important than living was Pertwee, at the end of Planet of the Spiders.

Well, since he regenerated into Tom Baker, isn't it a good thing he decided to face his fear?

You speak treason/Fluently! is from The Awakening.

"You never change; always the perfect guests," - The Doctor in 'Earthshock', refering to the Cybermen who just killed someone.

"But, what's it FOR??!!" The Doctor, questioning the captain in 'The Pirate Planet' when he's told how the captain's planet destroys other planets. The Doctor was so outraged that his voice cracked with fury.

That request to borrow a cup of water, when the Doctor and Sarah Jane show up in a rain storm outside Dr.Solon's castle in 'The Brain Of Morbius' always makes me smile.

Well, obviously from MY point of view, the sooner Pertwee copped it the better. He could have dropped dead at the beginning of Spearhead From Space, and I'd've been rubbing my hands with glee (nothing personal - Pertwee's a wonderful Doctor, he's just not a patch on Tom Baker). Interference proved that the Doc was destined to become our toothy-grinned hero, no matter when or in what circumstances he regenerated. But I'm trying to look at it from the universe's perspective. The Doctor saves a planet an average of what, once a week? By walking into that radiation-soaked cave, Pertwee could have knocked a good 500 years off his life-span. That's 26,000 planets which WOULD have been saved but will be gonners thanks to Pertwee's bit of self-indulgence (OK, more likely, he'd have just spent his time saving Earth 26,000 times, but that's at least ONE planet that'll be dead as Dodo Chaplet when the Thirteenth Doctor bites the dust half a millennium sooner than he should).

More quotes, from The Also People:

Benny in her diary, on not putting Katiatu Lethbridge-Stewart down:

'Yeah, I'm sure the dead will be forgiving. "Thats all right", they'd say, "we were glad to give up our lives so that you could prove a point to the Doctor. Our only regret is that we have but one life to lay down for your conscience. Being brutally killed by a programmed psychopathic killing machine actually gave meaning to our existence." I don't think so.'


'"Well" said the Doctor, "don't do anything I wouldn't do."

'"Doctor" said Roz, "I said I was rusty, not dead from the waist down."'


The Doctor:

'Go on Rosyln, he urged her in his mind, don't you know that life is fleeting and so what if he is a murderer, so am I. Don't you know that we have to snatch our best moments from the jaws of chaos and in the end we are all dust, the best as well as the worst of us?

'He closed his eyes tight and imagined them together with all his might...as if by the power of his will alone he could make it happen.

'But when he opened his eyes Roz was standing where he'd left her, a lonely figure watching another lost soul across the darkened gulf of the harbour.'


And everything from Benny's dream, especially:

'"At least we don't go around", said the Dalek, "saying, 'We come in peace, shoot to kill'".

'"Yes you do" said Bernice. "You do that sort of thing all the time."

'"Yes, yes, yes," said the Dalek. "But we _know_ we’re lying."'


'"Davros, Davros," moaned the Dalek. "Get into an argument with a human and they always bring up Davros. Look, do you think we _like_ the misshapen little monomaniac? We’ve tried to do away with him more times than the Doctor has."'

Alien Bodies:

'Over the years, people had often commented on his ability to produce exactly the right item from his pockets at exactly the right time. Some had speculated that his pockets were extensions of the TARDIS, others had guessed he was just lucky. But then, they'd never read Yeltstrom's _Karma and Flares: The Importance of Fashion Sense to the Modern Zen Master. They didn't appreciate the things a sentient life-form could achieve, if he was totally at one with the lining of his jacket.'

I always liked the sheer passion the Fifth Doctor has at the end of Ep 3 of Androzani (it's something like this): "I got my friend into this and I owe it to her to try to save her... nothing's going to stop me now!" as he sets the ship for a crash landing on the planet, cue cliffhanger and theme music.

Yeah, I love that Androzani cliffhanger - the only time I've felt 'My god, Davison IS the Doctor!' Pity he dies 20 minutes later.

The Eighth Doctor, in The Dying Days:

'I am the man who gives monsters nightmares.
The Daleks call me the Bringer of Darkness.
I am the Eighth Man Bound.
I am the Champion of Life and Time.
I'm the guy with two hearts.
I make history better.
I...am...the Doctor!'

Christmas on a Rational Planet:

'There were two kinds of darkness. It was one of those things that children always forgot, the moment they were old enough and big enough to reach the light-switch.

The ordinary kind, the _dull_ kind, came and went night-by-night; just a backcloth, big and black and wet, colouring in the sky and framing the city lights outside the bedroom window. It was the _other_ kind you had to watch out for, the kind that lived at the back of the cupboard and in the mystical dimension behind the sofa, the kind that kept secrets, that swallowed lost toys and hinted at futures you could only ever half-understand. True darkness. Monster darkness.

And when Roslyn Forrester looked up, that was the colour of the sky.'

Extracts from a conversation between the Seventh Doctor and an assassin:

'"For five years now, every waking moment of my existence has been spent preparing for confrontations such as this. As you may have surmised, this has been done at the expense of my personal identity. If it's any consolation to you in your final hour, I have absolutely no social life."

"You're not scaring me, you know," muttered the Doctor, lying ever so slightly. "The Great Beast of Tara is scarier than you are."

"My superiors in France are quite keen on the ideals of fraternity and equality, as you may know. And you do seem to have more than your fair share of hearts."'

The Doctor (obviously):

'"Listen to me," he said. "I've toppled dictatorships, I've duelled with tyrants, I've arm-wrestled with the agents of pain and fury. I've fought ruthless militant jellyfish, murderous pot-plants, insane giant prawns, world-conquering crabs, killer confectionary, octopi with delusions of godhood, forces of destruction of every conceivable size and shape. I've done so much. Saved entire races whose names I can't even remember...And there's been a price to pay. Sacrifices...Four of my companions, hundreds of the universe's supporting cast...I've died myself, six times over."'

There is one line used by two Doctors:

Guest castmember: You speak treason!
Doctor: Fluently!

The first time was Tom Baker, but I don't remember the episode. The second was Peter Davison in Terminus and Awakening. (At least, I think he said it in Terminus.)

I think one of the BEST lines in sci-fi tv EVER
were spoken by the 4th Doctor when they're on the space station Nerva.The monologue he gives about
humanities dauntless courage.

Peri:My name is Perpigilliam Brown and I can yell just as loud as you!(not a great line,but considering she was defying the Master at the time..)

Peri(about what she and the 6th Doctor do in the TARDIS):Argue mostly!

from The Real Hereward:
Peri:Why do you keep a robot in your pockets?
Doctor:My dear girl,I never ask to see what's in your pockets,do I?

don't normally do this but....... scott you got one wrong it was doctor 6 that said "Argue mainly" not peri!

"Not allowed?! I'm allowed everywhere!" - from the Second Doctor in 'The Five Doctors', which is a little surprising, since his ego isn't as big as his Third, Fourth, or Sixth incarnation.

Talking of The Five Doctors:

'I read about it in The Times.'
'You can't have done, the reporter's still here.'
'_Tomorrow's_ Times.'

And 'Great chunks of my past, detaching themselves like melting icebergs. A man is the sum of his memories, you know, a Time Lord even more so.' Lucky he didn't know what was going to happen in The Ancestor Cell.

Ghostlight:

'I can't stand burnt toast. I loathe bus stations - terrible places, full of lost lugage and lost souls. And then there's unrequited love. And cruelty and tyranny.'

The Time Meddler:

'Well, what do you think it is - a space helmet for a cow?' (First Doctor to Steven, vis-a-vis a Viking helmet.)

The Deadly Assassin:

'He was freed on the orders of the Celestial Intervention Agency. Cunning and ruthless...a typical CIA agent.'

'They're preparing the vaporisation chamber now.'
'That's outrageous! Vaporisation without representation is against the constitution!'

ooh oooh- can't BELIEVE I forgot this incredibly ironic for this topic: "What's the use of a good quote if you can't misquote it" The Doctor in "The Two Doctors" (er...6th Doctor to be precise)

"It's like trying to fire up a second hand gas stove" The Master "Claws Of Axos" [the ONLY decent thing to come out of that particular story]

Rodney--It was "fly a second hand gas stove."

lol rodney you want to talk ironic you misquoted the quote about misquoting the line was "what's the point of a good quote if you can't change it"

oops- completely unintentional I assure you ;-)

Trading Futures:

'Hey, I just saved the Earth from a race of invincible would-be time-travelling space rhinos.'

The Doctor smiled. 'In all the history of the English language, I doubt that sentence has ever been spoken before. Well done. For the last few minutes, it's been nothing but "Doctor, help!", "Doctor, look out!", "Doctor, they've got us pinned down", "We're not going to make it". I'd begun to think I would never hear an original sentiment expressed again.'

Anji glared at the Doctor. 'Believe me, Doctor, I've thought of some great new words in the last couple of minutes. Swearwords, designed for unique circumstances like this, that ordinary swearing just doesn't cater for. Just before Fitz arrived, I was just thinking that you were a completely useless otterfuc-'

Time Zero:

'If this Curtis guy is so dangerous why don't we follow him and take him out?' Nesbitt asked.

'Take him out?' The Doctor seemed perplexed. 'He's turning into a black hole and you want to, what buy him dinner? Discuss it over canapes?'

'I meant kill him,' Nesbitt said.

(OK, Time Zero isn't really any good, but it does a nice line in innocent enthusiastic Doctors. Nesbitt is a member of the SAS, by the way.)

And on the non-fiction side (from memory, so may be slightly inaccurate):

The Completely Useless Encyclopedia:

Re the MAs: 'Missing? Missing from what? The shelves of discerning readers, I hear you ask?'

From the Cambridge University Doctor Who magazine:

'You've just undergone massive psychological trauma. You've met the mother you hate while she's still a baby, your boyfriend has been possessed by an evil from beyond time and then killed by deadly nerve gas carried by a hideously mutated member of the future human species, and your best friend's just told you you're ••••, he never liked you, was only using you, and you should die rather than he should kneel down before the aforementioned evil from beyond time. He then tells you he was kidding. Do you need: a pyschiatrist? Counselling? Institutionalisation? No! You need a good swim! That'll cure you!'

2nd Doctor: Fancy pants!
3rd Doctor: Scarecrow!
-------------------------------------------------

EX-TER-MIN-ATE! Daleks

-------------------------------------------------

Harry Sullivan is an imbicile! 4th Doctor

Right. It's past time that the new series, being the wittiest thing in human history, got a few quotes of its own.

SPOILERS for BOOM TOWN!

YES, SPOILERS!!

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!

ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE RODNEY!!!!

Right...

CAPTAIN JACK (watching Rose and Mickey hug): How come I never get any of that?

DOCTOR: Buy me a drink first.

CAPTAIN JACK: Such hard work.

DOCTOR: But worth it.


Cathy-the-journalist discussing the 'curse' on the nuclear project with Mayor Margaret 'Slitheen' Blaine:

CATHY: First of all there was the entire team of the European Safety Inspectors.

MARGARET: But they were French. It's not my fault if 'Danger, Explosives' was only written in Welsh.

CATHY: And then there was that accident with the Cardiff Heritage Committee.

MARGARET: The electrocution of that swimming pool was put down to natural wear and tear.

CATHY: And then the architect?

MARGARET: It was raining. Visibility was low. My car simply couldn't stop.

CATHY: And then just recently Mr Cleaver, the Government's nuclear advisor.

MARGARET: Slipped on an icy patch.

CATHY: He was decapitated!

MARGARET: It was a very icy patch.


The Doctor making the mistake of talking with his captive:

MARGARET: This is persecution. Why can't you leave me alone? What did I ever do to you?

DOCTOR: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire planet.

MARGARET: Apart from that.

SPOILERS for BOOM TOWN!

YES, SPOILERS!!

DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!!!

ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE RODNEY!!!!- Emily (who else?)

It's ok now, most civilised cultures have seen the new series now- including Australia. Spoil away. Here is some of my favourites...

from "Rose"

Doctor: "I'm the Doctor- RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

from "Dalek"

Dalek (to Doctor) "You would have made an excellent Dalek"

The quote from "Father's Day" where the Doctor talks to baby Rose about being a good girl and not messing up the timeline. (Feel free to put the proper quote in)

From "Boom Town"
Mickey (to Rose): "It's one thing to be going around with big ears up there..."
Doctor: "HEY!"
Mickey: "Look in a mirror"

From "Bad Wolf"
Announcer: "You are on live television- please do not swear"
Doctor: "You have GOT to be kidding me!"

From "Parting Of The Ways"

Doctor: "Rose before I go I just want to tell you you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And d'you know what? so was I!"
(regenerates)
New Doctor (Emily sobs removed for clarity): "Hullo...(gulps)...new teeth...that's weird....now where was I? oh yeah...Barcelona!"

Captain Jack: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, 'Ooh, this could be a little more sonic!'

The Doctor's reply to Rose enticing him to dance: "Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete".

How about this one?


http://youtube.com/watch?v=lMQ81YvoKLQ

Family of Blood:

'He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm and the heart of the sun. He is ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe. And...he's wonderful.'

Best quote EVER or what!

Best quote EVER or what!

I'll go for "or what".

C'mon Emily- two whole seasons of Tennanty goodness and all you come up with is ONE quote???

There are just too many of 'em for me to bother typing them out...still, now you mention it...

Girl in the Fireplace:

ROSE: Arthur?
DOCTOR: Good name for a horse.
ROSE: You're not keeping the horse!
DOCTOR: I let you keep Mickey!

(Totally contradicts what actually happened in School Reunion but who cares.)

Smith and Jones:

DOCTOR: Judoon Platoon upon the Moon!

Gridlock:

DOCTOR: If it's any consolation, Valerie, I'm having kittens.
*Jumps from aircar*
VALERIE: He's completely insane.
BRANNIGAN: That, and a bit magnificent.

Doomsday:

DOCTOR: I'm burning up a sun, just to say goodbye...

Parting of the Ways:

DOCTOR: New teeth, that's weird.

"Put a piece of sticky tape on the windows": The Master in "The Claws of Axos" giving his "advice" regarding a nuclear fallout.

Blink:

SALLY: I love old things, they make me feel sad.
KATHY: What's good about sad?
SALLY: It's happy for deep people.

DOCTOR: This is my timey-whimey detector...goes 'ding' when there's stuff. Also, you can boil an egg at 30 paces. Whether you want it to or not, actually, so I've learnt to stay away from hens. It's not pretty when they blow.

BILLY: I often thought of looking for you before tonight. But apparently it would have torn a hole in the fabric of space and time and destroyed two-thirds of the universe. Also I'd lost my hair.

BILLY: I have until the rain stops.

LAWRENCE: The Angels have the phone box...that's my favourite, I've got that on a t-shirt.

Tennant's a wonder at one-liners:

"New Earth":
ROSE: They're cats!
DOCTOR: Now, don't stare. Just think how you look to them, all pink and yellow.

"Shakespeare Code":
MARTHA: It's like in the films. You step on a butterfly, you change the future of the human race.
DOCTOR: I'll tell you what then, don't step on any butterflies. What have butterflies ever done to you?

"The Impossible Planet":
DOCTOR: Moonbase, spacebase, seabase, they build these things out of kits... This place was put together like a flat-packed wardrobe, only bigger... and easier.

"Girl in the Fireplace":
ROSE: Bet the queen loved her.
DOCTOR: Oh, she did. Got on very well together.
MICKEY: The king's wife and the king's mistress?
DOCTOR: France. Different planet.

"Utopia":
DOCTOR: You two, we're at the end of the universe, right at the edge of knowledge itself, and you're busy -- blogging!

Although the Doctor doesn't have all the fun:

MASTER: Are you asking me on a date?

DALEK SEC: This is not war. This is pest control.

ROSE: It's a spaceship. Not a Council spaceship, I'm afraid.

But the best one of all, the one that sums up the whole Who revival: "Did you miss me?" YES!

Right. Way past time for a few quotes celebrating our unexpectedly fantastic new(ish) Companion, long may her name be sung of by our children's children and the wind and the rain and stuff (spoilers for first half of season 4/30):

DONNA: Sometimes I think you need someone to stop you.

DOCTOR: A hatbox?!
DONNA: Planet of the hats, I'm ready!

DOCTOR: I just want a mate -
DONNA: You're not mating with me, sunshine!

DOCTOR: I'm Spartacus.
DONNA: *Pause* And so am I.

DONNA: Why d'you say 'Miss', do I look single?!

DONNA: I'm not coming with you. I've been thinking. I'm sorry. I'm going home.
DOCTOR: Really?
DONNA: I've got to go.
DOCTOR: Well, if that's what you want. I mean, it's a bit soon. I had so many places I wanted to take you. The Fifteenth Broken Moon of the Medusa Cascade, the Lightning Skies of Cotter Palluni's World, the Diamond Coral Reefs of Kataa Flo Ko...Thank you. Thank you, Donna Noble. It's been brilliant. You saved my life, in so many ways. You are *Pause* You're just popping home for a visit, that's what you mean.
DONNA: You dumbo!
DOCTOR: Then you're coming back.
DOCTOR: Know what you are? A great big outer-space dunce.

DONNA: He saves planets, rescues civilisations, defeats terrible creatures...and runs a lot. Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved.

Sadly I can't quote Donna's BEST scene, what with it being entirely silent...

Sadly I can't quote Donna's BEST scene, what with it being entirely silent...

I assume you're referring to the scene in "Partners in Crime"?

DONNA: Donna, by the way, Donna Noble since you didn't ask. I'll have a salute.

DOCTOR: "Oh, that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? 'Staahl the Not Quite So Undefeated Anymore But Never Mind'?"

Right. Time for more tributes to She Who Kicks Library Doors In:

DONNA: *Displaying new dress* So what d'you think? Flapper or slapper?

DONNA: You've got a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie...No, but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders. Not really! I mean that's like meeting Charles Dickens and he's surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas! *Catches look on Doctor's face* Oh come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. *Starts panicking* Could we? Noddy's not real. Is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!
DOCTOR: *Solemnly* There's no Noddy.

CHRISTIE: My husband left me for a younger, prettier woman...isn't that always the way?
DONNA: Well, mine left me for a giant spider, but same difference.

*Donna kicks in library door*
DOCTOR: Nice door skills, Donna.
DONNA: Yeah well, y'know, boyfriends...sometimes you need the element of surprise.

I never finished my Donna Noble quotes! Alright, how's THIS for a tribute:

DOCTOR: I just want you to know...That there are worlds out there, safe in the sky, because of her. That there are people, living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand million light years away. They will never forget her. While she can never remember. And for one moment. One shining monent. She was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.

Waaaaaaaaaaaagh! Want her BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

Oh please, no companion ever leaves Who. Rose couldn't stay in her own "we can never see each other again" universe, Jack isn't satisfied with just the one show, and even Sarah Jane can't escape into her own spin-off for long.

And don't even get me started on the villains. Just how many (completely unexplained) lives have Davros and the Master had, anyway?

So cheer up! Donna's just a ratings point or two away.

Of course you're right...and of course I'll be the first to start whinging about RUINING the tragedy of Journey's End when we DO have the joy of Ms Noble's company again...

Rose Tyler: Five million Cybermen, easy. One Doctor? NOW you're scared!

River Song: A fool would say, the work of the gods. But you've been a soldier too long to believe there are gods watching over us. There is, however, a man. And tonight he's going to need your help.

Yeah, isn't that just the BEST LINE EVER? Think how many of the world's problems would be solved if everyone just worshipped the Doctor instead of those nasty non-existent things in the sky. It's astonishing after that that the bloke in question REFUSED to help the Doctor.

No, the BEST LINE EVER is from "The Pandorica Opens"

---

quote:

Ha! Listen, you lot you're all whizzing about. It's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING!

---

Actually, "The Pandorica Opens" is full of awsome quotes. The one I just posted is from that episode. Then, there's this one:

Doctor: There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

Or this one:

River Song: I hate good wizards in fairy tales. They always turn out to be him.

On even this one:

Doctor: So if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship, with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you. And then, AND THEN, do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first.

Oh, I agree, Francois... I just think that the "I AM TALKING" line is just one of the most awesome things I ever saw in Who.

"There's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never, ever put in a trap. Me."

It's astonishing after that that the bloke in question REFUSED to help the Doctor.

Well, he didn't help himself, but he did assign the mission to the Lone Centurion.

No, the BEST LINE EVER is from "The Pandorica Opens"

Ha! Listen, you lot you're all whizzing about. It's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING!

Yeah, that's adorable, but just not as ATHEIST.

"There's one thing you never put in a trap. If you're smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never, ever put in a trap. Me."

If only I didn't get visions of cartoon Graham Nortons dancing across the screen EVERY TIME I HEAR THAT SPEECH...

Well, he didn't help himself, but he did assign the mission to the Lone Centurion.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

Silly people.

The *real* best line is from Idris:

Borrowing implies the eventual intention to return the thing that was taken. What makes you think I would ever give you back?

Sorry, but the question of the BEST quote in Who has been definitively settled. ('Well I was on my way to a gay gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought, "Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish - I think I'll kill the Fuhrer." Who's with me?')

We can still fight over the SECOND best quote, though...

DOCTOR: Why are you impersonating the Adjudicator?
MASTER: My dear Doctor, I AM the Adjudicator.
DOCTOR: Rubbish!
MASTER: What are you doing here anyway. Did the Time Lords send you?
DOCTOR: Nobody sends me anywhere. I’m a free agent!
MASTER: So you’ve at last succeeded in escaping your long exile on Earth. Congratulations. What are your plans now?
DOCTOR: My immediate plans are to expose you as an imposter.
MASTER: That would be very foolish of you. My credentials are immaculate.
DOCTOR: Forged, of course.
MASTER: Of course. But, immaculate — May I see your credentials?

(“Colony in Space”, Part 4—and the confrontation and the banter I’ve been looking forward to!)

"My friends call me Frobisher. My enemies call me Mr Frobisher. And the junk mail department of the Galactic Readers' Digest call me Mrs F R Rubbisher... but that neither here nor there" - The Maltese Penguin

"You're all irresponsible fools!"
Doctor: "But we're very experienced irresponsible fools."

What's that from?

The one quote I've lived my entire adult life by:

"Well, of course I'm being childish! There's no point being grown-up if you can't be childish sometimes"

Me too.

Well, that and 'Never waste time in a hug.'

"These aren't breasts. They're Dalek bumps! They can detect ion charged emissions and operate as etheric beam locators at a distance of up to 20,000 lightyears! [with a smug look at the companion] They are also extremely firm."

And they put THAT MAN in charge of Doctor Who...

How about (mis)quotes for the toilet?

"Look, Brigadier! Look! It's FARTING!"

"Romana, you know, I think something funny is going on, because you remember that man who was following us? Well, he's standing behind me pointing a gun at my back." - 'City of Death'.

"Clancey has a terrible temper. He's likely to explode like glycerol trinitrate".

That's not a great line...well, OK, maybe in comparison with all Space Pirates' OTHER lines...

I know but there wasn't a page for lines that are the best of a bad lot.

Well, if I absolutely had to choose my favourite Space Pirates line it would probably be 'I like drawing pins. Ouch. Normally' but OBVIOUSLY the secret is in Troughton's delivery...

The Doctor: "You will *save* Clara and you will do it *now* or i will rain h*ll on you for the rest of time!"

Ashildr: *thinking* "I hope that's Shepherd's Pie in my knickers"

Camilla: "You killed him! The blood of the dead is stale and flat! I must feed on the living!"

"Father? Where are you?" (proof that sex happens in Classic Who)

IS it, though?

Have we any evidence that Trakenites reproduce in the same disgusting way as humans?

(OK, leaving aside the audios in which Nyssa marries someone-or-other and produces a couple of sprogs. Because Tim has taught me that it's more than my life's worth to believe such things.)

yeah i don't believe in Tim, either.

Doctor Who: The lock is extremely primitive. It's practically a museum piece. There's no electronic impulse matrix to decode, no sonic microcircuit to disrupt. Proved mechanical six barrel movement, key operated. Primitive but adequate. Well, it's more than adequate, actually, because the key is what we don't have.

"Captain Cook!" "What!" "You're not only a scoundrel and a meddling fool, you're also A CRUSHING BORE!"

I'd enjoy that quote more if it wasn't so TRUE. What the Who Production Team somehow failed to realise is having a crushing bore drone on at you for hours IS BORING.

I'm a time traveler. I point and laugh at archaeologists.

"White kids firebombed it" can be applied to so many situations in real life ;)

"But what about the unimportant ones?"
"You should know me better, Doctor. I never waste valuable material. The human body makes for an excellent source of concentrated protein."
"You mean you turned them into food?"
"Famine WAS one of this star system's chief problems."
"But didn't you tell these people they might be eating their own relatives?!"
"Certainly not! That would have generated what I believe is termed "consumer resistance". The people here were grateful enough for the food. It allowed them to go on living."
"Until you take over their planets."
"Precisely."

Vanessa: "Your father's farm is hardly the Outback, my dear!"

Can you imagine silver leaves waving above a pool of liquid gold containing singing fishes? Twin suns that circle and fall in a rainbow heaven, another world in another sky?

If you like to come with me, I’ll show you all this -and it will be, I promise you, the dullest part of it all. Come with me and you will see wonders that no Human has ever dreamt possible.

"Well this is cr@p"- Emily on watching Boom Town for the first time

I never said anything of the sort!

It's true, to my shame, that I didn't love, worship and adore DARLING Boom Town as much as it deserved on first viewing, but the gods were merciful and it proved to be one of those rare stories, like Warriors' Gate, that just gets better and better with every viewing until finally even a philistine must prostrate herself before it and declare that she loves Big Brother Boom Town.

"you have the honour of being addressed by General Tannis of the defence forces of the Canisian suns, i am prepared to accept your unconditional surrender, whoops you hesitated, destroy them all"

"Our little chicken farmer's come a long way. He controls the police, the SS and the Gestapo - and if they get their hands on you, even I won't be able to help".

On responsibility:

"Who put these under the phone?"
- Forester, PLANET OF GIANTS
Klieg: "He is fortunate. I spared him."
Jamie: "You mean you missed him."
- THE TOMB OF THE CYBERMEN
"Oh no, now I've lost his face!"
- Doctor, THE MIND ROBBER
"And then I got rescued by this bowl!"
- Jo, PLANET OF THE DALEKS
"Never mind about me, Harry, there's a man in danger!"
- Doctor, THE ARK IN SPACE
"Grendel! You forgot your hat!"
- Doctor, THE ANDROIDS OF TARA
"The green button, gentlemen!"
- Doctor, FULL CIRCLE
"You made us, Man of Evil, but we are free."
- Shardovan, CASTROVALVA
"What are we supposed to have done?"
- Doctor, EARTHSHOCK
"I'd hate to end the Universe by mistake."
- Olvir, TERMINUS
"Officially, I'm here quite... unofficially."
- Doctor, FRONTIOS
Man:"No more executions. Torture. Nothing."
Woman: "It's all changed. We're free."
Man: "Are we?"
Woman: "Yes."
Man: "What sall we do?"
Woman: "Don't know."
- VENGEANCE ON VAROS
Doctor: Every great decision creates ripples--like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge, rebound off the banks in unforseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences.
Adam: Life's like dat. Best ting is just to get on wid it.
- REMEMBRANCE OF THE DALEKS
"Whenever this Doctor turns up, all hell breaks loose."
- Sargent Zbiegniev, BATTLEFIELD

"Officially, I'm here quite... unofficially."
- Doctor, FRONTIOS

Actually Two Docs.

In Frontios it was 'Look, I'm not really here at all, officially' and 'I'm not helping, officially. And if anyone happens to ask whether I made any material difference to the welfare of this planet, you can tell them I came and went like a summer cloud.'

Adam: Life's like dat. Best ting is just to get on wid it.

The transcript says 'John'.

"Whenever this Doctor turns up, all hell breaks loose."

SLANDER! (I mean, true for the rest of us, but a member of UNIT should know the Third Doctor vegetated around UNIT HQ for WEEKS in-between alien invasions...)

On science, math, and/or logic:

"Don't you think you're being rather high-handed, young man? You thought you saw a young girl enter the yard. You imagine you heard her voice. You believe she might be hidden inside there. It's not very substantial, is it?"
- Doctor, AN UNEARTHLY CHILD
"I know that travel through the fourth dimension is a scientific miracle I didn't expect to find solved in a junkyard."
- Ian, AN UNEARTHLY CHILD
"Things aren't always very logical, are they?"
- Barbara, THE EDGE OF DESTRUCTION
"We are at the very beginning. The new start of a solar system. Outside the atoms are rushing towards each other, fusing, coagulating, until minute little collections of matter are created. And so the process goes on. And on, until dust is formed. Dust then becomes solid entity. A new birth of a sun and its planets."
- Doctor, THE EDGE OF DESTRUCTION
"No, impossible in this temperature. Besides, it's too warm."
- Doctor, THE KEYS OF MARINUS
"What do you think it is, a space helmet for a cow?"
- Doctor, THE TIME MEDDLER
"You see, if you take any progressive series, it can be converted into binary notation. Now, if you take the sum of the integrents and express the result as a power series, then the indices show the basic binary blocks, only I wouldn't do it if I were you!"
- Doctor, THE TOMB OF THE CYBERMEN
Kaftan: "Everything yields to logic! Our basic assumption, Doctor!"
Doctor: "Really?"
- THE TOMB OF THE CYBERMEN
"Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority."
- Doctor, THE WHEEL IN SPACE
"We're nowhere. It's as simple as that."
-The Doctor, THE MIND ROBBER
"That was simply transmigration of object. There's a great deal of difference between that and pure science, you know."
- Doctor, AMBASSADORS OF DEATH
Doctor: But I don't exist in your world!
Brigade Leader: Then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you.
- INFERNO
"Yes, well, according to classical aerodynamics, it is impossible for a bumblebee to fly."
- Doctor, THE DAEMONS
"You're right, Jo. There is magic in the world after all."
- Doctor, THE DAEMONS
"A flash, yes, but not an explosion. It was a release of kinetic energy."
- Doctor(3), THE THREE DOCTORS
"That's the trouble with antimatter. You can see the effect but not the cause. It's like being punched on the nose by the invisible man."
- Doctor(2), THE THREE DOCTORS
"I've reversed the polarity of the sonic screwdriver."
- Doctor, FRONTIER IN SPACE
"Because, my dear, I happen to be particularly fond of delta particles."
- Doctor, THE TIME WARRIOR
Duke Guiliano: I take it that you, like myself, are a man of science?
Doctor: Well, I do dabble a bit.
- MASQUE OF THE MANDRAGORA
Count Frederico: He is but one man!
Doctor: You can't count, Count.
- MASQUE OF THE MANDRAGORA
" `Only in mathematics will we find truth.' ... Borusa used to say that during my time at the Academy - and now he's setting out to prove it."
- Doctor, THE DEADLY ASSASSIN
Leela: "Do you know the answer to everything?"
Doctor: "Yes! ... well, no... answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard."
- THE FACE OF EVIL
"To the rational mind, nothing is inexplicable; only unexplained."
- Doctor, ROBOTS OF DEATH
"Terran insects. Aerodynamically impossible for them to fly, but they do it. I'm rather fond of bumblebees."
- Doctor, ROBOTS OF DEATH
"I find Astrophysics a bore, but one must fight them on their own term, don't you think?"
- Rodan, INVASION OF TIME
Doctor (referring to the tracer): "Never touch, never trust gimmicky gadgets!"
Romana : "That's hardly a gimmick Doctor."
- THE RIBOS OPERATION
"A scientist's job is to ask questions!"
- Doctor, CITY OF DEATH
"It's extremely difficult to generate a non-determinate action."
- Doctor, WARRIORS GATE
Rorvic: "Have you seen him?"
Romana: "Vision is subjective."
- WARRIOR'S GATE
"Structure is the essence of matter, and the essence of structure is mathematics."
- Monitor, LOGOPOLIS
Terileptil: As these humans kill lesser species to survive, so I kill them.
Doctor: That's hardly an argument.
Terileptil: It wasn't meant to be an argument! It was a statement!
- THE VISITATION
"I'm a scientist, Doctor. The chance of inheriting the wisdom of all the Universe is an opportunity I cannot ignore."
- Professor, TIME-FLIGHT
Doctor: "Statistically speaking, if you gave typewriters to a tree of monkeys, they'd eventually produce the works of William Shakespeare... Now, you and I know that at the end of the millenium, they'd still be tapping out gibberish."
Tegan: "And you'd be tapping it out right along side them!"
- MAWDREN UNDEAD
"If I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow..."
- Doctor, MAWDREN UNDEAD
"I've reversed the polarity of the neutron flow..."
- Doctor(3), THE FIVE DOCTORS
"Circular logic will only make you dizzy."
- Peri, THE TWO DOCTORS
"You cannot speak as though reality is a one-dimensional concept."
- The Valeyard, THE ULTIMATE FOE
"Do you think I like having some space vagrant come along and tell me that the painstaking research I've devoted my life to has been superceded by a bunch of tin-plated pepperpots?"
- Prof. Rachel Jensen, REMEMBRENCE OF THE DALEKS
"Think like a physicist."
- Doctor, BATTLEFIELD

From The Three Doctors;
Second Doctor; We need to feed that thing out there a bunch of useless information. I wonder if there's a television set around here?
(Or words to that effect).
Same episode, after they've been transported to the anti-matter universe;
Brigidier (into his radio): Come in, Palmer. Do you read me, Palmer?
Second Doctor; I wouldn't bother trying to contact him, Bridigier.
Brigidier; Why not?
Second Doctor; Well, it doesn't exactly have the range!

(Doctor Who and the Horns of Nimon)

The spaceship was old. It was a Skonnan battle cruiser, massive, black, threatening, sole survivor of a fleet that had once dominated the galaxy. As it lumbered towards its home planet, Skonnos, gun-ports bristling with space-cannon, it was still a terrifying sight—but the ship was old, almost obsolete. Drive systems were erratic, navigational circuits unreliable, main computers on overload, the automatic pilot at break-down point. Few of the laser-cannon would still fire and those that did were as likely to blow up the ship as destroy the enemy.

THAT'S your favourite quote? But Terrance Dicks has so many breath-taking, resonant opening lines (tbh I suspect he put more effort into his opening lines than the rest of the book put together).

'Through the ruins of a city stalked the ruins of a man.'

'They met in a hidden chamber, deep beneath the Capitol: the being from another dimension and the Time Lord who was betraying not only his people but his universe.'

"We never suspected the Russians were involved in this mess" - Harry Sullivan's War - but could easily be said by a member of Trump's base...

"Come with me and you will see wonders that no Human has ever dreamt possible. Or stay behind and regret your staying until the day you die."

"Prague is such a beautiful city. What a pity if my bombers had to smash it."

"They're only economy class. What's all the fuss about?"

"Nothing says ‘Stop’ like the sound of obsolete technology malfunctioning"

One of the best lines written in any Doctor Who incarnation.
"We'll have to by-pass Watford, the place is full of Daleks"
One of the most cringeworthy lines written, unfortunately in the same script.
"Allow me to introduce myself, I am Dr Who"
Urggh.