I don't have anything to add to Emily's review but just wanted her to know that at least someone read it

What was very noticeable is that Dave Stone was constrained from a lot of the rambling prose he normally uses and is a far better writer for it. Top marks to the editor.

Except that this is the same editor who commissioned Ghost Ship. And should therefore be put up against the nearest wall and shot.

Cartmel's introduction:

'The idea of Doctor Who novellas, permanently preserved between hard covers, is new and should whet the appetite of any enthusiast' - should it? Why? What's so intrinsically special about an overlong-short-story/overshort-novel?

'The demands of the novella are compounded by the additional challenge of the Doctor being a slippery character to write about' - ah. Is THAT why Cartmel's NA trilogy so seldom bothered to write about him?

'On screen it's easy when you've got the charisma of a star like Tom Baker, Patrick Troughton or Sylvester McCoy working for you' - look, I'm very fond of our Seventh Doctor, but...CHARISMA???

'When writing Doctor Who prose I've often advocated the tactic of using the seventh Doctor sparingly or concealing his presence, thereby to add to his mystique and enhance the potency of his presence when he finally does appear' - such a pity no one EXCEPT YOURSELF follows this advice...

'As you will see in Citadel of Dreams, Dave Stone pursues this policy to telling effect' - he does? I'd've thought Dave Stone would be the LAST person to follow any advice advocating subtlety.

(NB: This isn't a criticism. I'm not a fan of this 'subtlety' thing myself. No doubt my fellow Nitcnetrallers hardly need this fact pointed out to them. Though doing so is obviously part and parcel of aforementioned lack of subtlety.)

And for my next trick...I'm actually gonna read this novella. AGAIN.

Seventeen is 'barely a few years' older than fifteen? Wouldn't 'barely a couple of years' be more appropriate?

'To those passers-by who happened to chance upon it, even those who had been watching directly as it appeared, it was simply a part of the scene. it had always been there' - at the time (2001!) I would no doubt have pointed and laughed at such delusions - people NOT NOTICING THE TARDIS!! - but post-Parting of the Ways it actually seems quite foresightful.

''The other [eye] had been burst, possibly by a finger' - *sigh* of course it had. Popping eyeballs is second in popularity only to killing oochies, as far as Who books are concerned.

'For a moment there, I thought I'd forgotten something I should be remembering' - what made the Doctor think the statue wasn't of some FUTURE rather than past (or entirely other) doctor?

Nice hints throughout ('fabricated from pure gold' 'mouth full of the taste of kebab' 'fit to last him every weekend until the end of the world or of his life, whichever came sooner) but I prefer my hints less...subtle. The twists in Dead Romance and Down, for example, were repeatedly and blatantly telegraphed, but I completely failed to do more than pause in vague befuddlement before moving on (due to the unadulterated brilliance in one case, and unadulterated boredom in the other). The hints here, though, can ONLY be understood in the second reading (though if you've coughed up a tenner/£25 to get this thing new, you almost certainly WOULD inflict several more readings of it on yourself to get your moneys-worth).

'Over the course of his life, for one reason or another, Joey had declined the kind of invitations that might have had him entering by the front lobby - or more likely, bundled in through some discreet side door' - WHY, unlike Dave Stone's OTHER hero Jason Kane, does Joey refuse to prostitute himself? Especially as this planet doesn't have any ACTUAL sex?

'It's to do with this world being closer to the Galactic Hub...senses and tenses keep swapping over...there's stuff from any number of different time zones, all mixed up together' - does this make ANY sense? I have the vague feeling we're supposed to have a black hole at the centre of our galaxy - but the one in Impossible Planet didn't mess with time in this way.

Jeez, even JOEY ('all the moral sensibilities of a turnip that's decided to go around robbing old lady turnips') has more morality than Ace. 'Look, I don't know what the big deal is. I set the charges to leave the structure standing and incinerate the contents - and if anybody had got inside by the time the charges went off, then what the hell? They weren't exactly going to give us a box of chocolates...Better them than us.' Even after Joey points out that the people she's just slaughtered weren't actually responsible for their actions, Ace just snorts and sneers at him. If she understood that these weren't real people then it MIGHT be almost understandable, but given her reaction when they all die later (yes, suddenly she's all TERRIBLY morally outraged at the Doctor for dissolving 'em), she totally hasn't grasped it.

Since when has the TARDIS key 'twisted and squirmed in his hand like a living thing'?

'They are translucent and, Ace realises, not entirely physical - which means, she hopes, that his eyes are not currently existing as burst gelid sacs' - yes, cos it's been PAGES AND PAGES since we had any burst-eyeball action.

Ace hammers on the TARDIS door - she STILL doesn't have a key? What IS it with those mean Old Who Doctors?

The Doctor 'was sipping from a glass of wine with the slightly prissy air of one finding interest in, as opposed to actually enjoying, the experience' - nice bridge between Three's one-man-wine-and-cheese-party and Eleven's spitting-out-of-wine.

'You must have noticed the lack of truly intimate relations as such' says THE DOCTOR. The LAST person who would notice any such thing.

Ace hammers on the TARDIS door - she STILL doesn't have a key? What IS it with those mean Old Who Doctors?

I think there's a logical reason for the Doctor not giving keys to his companions. I`m sure he feels he could trust them with one, but he knows from experience that they regularly get themselves captured by the bad guys and he doesn't want risking THEM getting their hands (or claws, or suckers, or whatever) on a key.

But how often do the bad guys even search the DOCTOR when they're locking him up, never mind his sidekicks? And surely it would be simplicity itself for a Lord of Time to programme the TARDIS key to be isomorphic...? (Providing he's not Eleven, of course, who doesn't believe in such things.) And surely the Companions would get captured less in the first place if they could just run back to the TARDIS and LET THEMSELVES IN...?

And surely the Companions would get captured less in the first place if they could just run back to the TARDIS and LET THEMSELVES IN...?

Even when they do have that option, they usually don't. Too afraid to miss out on the good stuff I suppose.

And why does the TARDIS need a key anyway? She is perfectly capable of identifying people coming to her, let the authorized one in and keep the others out.

And surely the Companions would get captured less in the first place if they could just run back to the TARDIS and LET THEMSELVES IN...?

Even when they do have that option, they usually don't. Too afraid to miss out on the good stuff I suppose.

WE think of it as 'the good stuff'. THEY probably don't, especially if they're the Tegan Jovanka type.

And why does the TARDIS need a key anyway? She is perfectly capable of identifying people coming to her, let the authorized one in and keep the others out.

QUITE.

Of course, there's nothing to stop the Old Girl materialising around the Thief (and Strays) every time they're in trouble. She just doesn't like making things too easy.

Ace hammers on the TARDIS door - she STILL doesn't have a key? What IS it with those mean Old Who Doctors?

Aaaand yet the second McCoy turns into McGann, of course, he's telling that Grace woman WHO'S JUST MANSLAUGHTERED HIM all about his spare TARDIS key above the door...

I think there's a logical reason for the Doctor not giving keys to his companions. I`m sure he feels he could trust them with one, but he knows from experience that they regularly get themselves captured by the bad guys and he doesn't want risking THEM getting their hands (or claws, or suckers, or whatever) on a key.

Oddly, Turlough and Nyssa have this very debate in Heroes on Sontar. I'm siding with Turlough. ('AT LAST! Turlough complains about not being trusted with a TARDIS key. Nyssa, who obviously hasn't become any less of a sappy wimp in the last 50 years, bleats some nonsense about 'He's only thinking of our safety...Some people would stop at nothing to get their hands on a TARDIS key.' Oh! I DIDN'T REALISE that the Doctor was DELIBERATELY endangering the lives of Rose, Martha and Donna by giving them keys! That FIEND!')

And why does the TARDIS need a key anyway? She is perfectly capable of identifying people coming to her, let the authorized one in and keep the others out.

And yet she only ever does it for Clara (••••• who got our Doctor tortured for four-and-a-half-billion years) and JODIE! (who she hated so much she ejected her to her death. Well, what should, logically speaking, have been her death anyway...)