So Gallifrey didn't unhappen.. that's what I got from this book. Great. And a big spoiler....


The Time Lords are alive in the Doctor's mind...

Actually, Gallifrey DID unhappen. But yes, the Time Lords are still alive (well, dead actually) in the Doctor's mind.

Rachel can't seem to find a reference to Marnal anywhere, even though his literary career has lasted over a normal human lifespan. Despite apparently going to a library, she never considers looking him up in the Guinness Book of Records or the Clute/Nichols Encyclopedia of Science Fiction.

Later we see that he has a Hugo Award. Assuming he actually won it himself, that would make him considerably less obscure than the book thinks. A websearch for his name should at least turn up lists of Hugo Winners rather than the Spanish Googlewhack described here.

Or Books in Print.

The Worldcon website has a section devoted to a complete listing of all Hugo winners (http://www.worldcon.org/hugos).

Really, it's very easy to look up just about anyone on the internet and find at least one match. I just did a Google search on Daniel and got at least 20 hits in the first 2 pages. I've got almost as many, and I've never even been published.

Just don't go believing everything you find online...

Maybe Rachel's mis-spelling his name? Frankly she strikes me as a bit thick, siding with that nutter and keeping my Doctor tied to a chair. And then she (apparently) ends up a Companion! There's no justice in the world. Universe. Whatever.

How could anyone mis-spell an easy obvious name like Manral?

Plus, Google has the really nice "did you mean (this world)?" function, for all us spelling bee failures.

And this time, the Doctor isn't going to be able to save everyone.

I've seen some inaccurate back-cover blurbs in my time (hell, I've WRITTEN some inaccurate back-cover blurbs in my time) but that takes the biscuit. The Doctor isn't going to be able to save everyone? Well, yeah, a lot of Earthlings bite the dust in this book, but...when HAS he EVER been able to save everyone? (Edge of Destruction doesn't count, and anyway, it's Barbara who does the saving. And OK, maybe no-one dies on-screen in Terminus but I bet loads of those lepers don't make it. And yeah yeah, everyone who dies in Kinda and Timeflight gets reincarnated, but that just isn't the same if you ask me.)

Coming straight after the mention of Fitz and Trix, maybe it means to imply that 'anyone' is one of the TARDIS regulars - plausible for once, what with this being the last EDA and all. Except that...they're all alive and well at the end of the book (with an ADDITIONAL Companion as well, it's not FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR, that stupid Rachel tied my Doctor to a chair for DAYS, what's SHE done to deserve Companionhood?????).

Does the idiot who wrote the blurb not realise that saving everyone is a once-in-nine-or-ten-lifetimes event for the Doctor? Does she, he or it not REALISE that

SPOILERS FOR THE NEW SERIES - THE DOCTOR DANCES:
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It's SUCH an achievement that he will beg and plead with the gods to 'give me a day like this'? That when he succeeds he will DANCE and CAPER and swing little kiddies around in the air and shout about pop music and cry 'Ask me anything - I'm on fire!' and generally behave like a complete an utter lunatic having the happiest moment of his life?

And yet the Gallifrey Chronicles act as if the Doc always saves everyone. Tell that to Adric, not to mention Traken.

...not to mention The Dalek Masterplan, Horror of Fang Rock, Inferno, Revelation of the Daleks, Caves of Androzani, Curse of Fenric, etc., etc.

Yup, our beloved Doctor's just a wee bit like Sutekh in this regard - he leaves dust and darkness in his wake. (And whilst he certainly doesn't 'find that good', he doesn't exactly seem to give a toss about it most of the time either.)

But...is Trix for kids?

Apparently in the Whoniverse, JK Rowling writes 10 Harry Potter books. The Doctor owns the whole series.

As far as hilarious jokes are concerned, I prefer the K9/Dalek one.

Oh, and did anyone guess that the footsteps were Compassion's? No, neither did I. Apparently it's all very subtle. Anyone volunteering for a reread?

I'm reading it right now. I'll let you know.

Who are those companions of the 8th Doctor Marnal lists? I only recognize Anji and the name of one or two companions from the comic books. And where's Charlie, Sam, and Fitz?

Well, quite. (Except that it's Charley.) I don't mind Parkin having the occasional piece of fun with continuity - claiming there were six founders of Gallifrey instead of three, for example - but this is ridiculous.

I thought this was supposed to be the last EDA. So why does Parkin spend so much time setting up new mysteries--how does the Doctor get those Time Lord memories out of his head, who exactly did Trix kill, will the Doctor survive, etc., etc.?

If that's the Master in the TARDIS, then who did the Doctor meet in "Henrietta Street"?

I don't agree with the Doctor about dealing with the remaining Vore. Now that they're all in the giant termite (I thought they were flies, BTW) mound, just chuck a hydrogen bomb down the main opening. The Vore that aren't instantly vaporized will either be killed by the shockwave, suffocated when the firestorm uses up all the oxygen in the mound, and/or rendered sterilized.

If the Vore only eat chyme (i.e., stuff disolved by vomit), how and why did the one Vore eat the cat? They don't even have teeth! It would be like a human being taking a large bite of a tree, then trying to swallow it.

I realize it's an infinite universe, but what exactly are the odds that a lifeform would evolve that (a) can travel through hyperspace, (b) is attracted to the energy released by TARDISes, (c) secretes a chemical that affects the perceptions of humans (and ONLY humans), and (d) looks and acts exactly like a giant Earth fly.

Interesting how the Vore are mindless creatures that are controlled by chemical signals--except when they decide to attact Trix (who is still coated in Vore-repellant stink).

If all the Vore powder does is make people think other people are gone, why can't the powder covered people continue to fight the Vore? And why didn't Fitz, for example, just phone Trix? Or Anji?

Speaking of Anji, I'm glad she finally found herself a trophy boyfriend. He must be amazing, because she never mentions her adopted daughter (and Trix, who worked out the adoption, never brings it up).

Okay, Anji and Trix are tacitly allowed by the 8th Doctor to use future info to make themselves wealthy. The 9th Doctor's companion (sorry forgot his name) tries to leave himself one little message on his answering machine, and the 9th goes nuts.

Don't you think that once the military figured out burning Vore repels live Vore, they would have started a dead Vore bonfire in every city? And started using flamethrowers instead of guns? Or phosphorus rounds?

Speaking of guns, most 1st world military have machines guns that can deliver bullets as fast as water from a fire hose. Remember the scene in the final Matrix film when the defenders were shooting the machines as they entered the underground hideout? Something like that. So I don't think the military would have given up quite so quickly.

So whatever happened to the Time Lord travelling in Compassion? Or Iris?

Sorry, I don't really believe Sam is dead. Nope, uh-uh, lalala not listening......

I thought this was supposed to be the last EDA.

Actually, it's only supposed to be the last EDA from the Doctor's standpoint - as far as we're concerned, Fear Itself has just come out, starring a PAST Eighth Doctor with Fitz and Anji. You're gonna have to work out whether to put it in the EDA or PDA section. Mind you, even the Ninth Doctor is history now, they're dropping like flies. Vore. Whatever.

So why does Parkin spend so much time setting up new mysteries--how does the Doctor get those Time Lord memories out of his head, who exactly did Trix kill, will the Doctor survive, etc., etc.?

I doubt Parkin thinks of those as NEW mysteries, more as questions already posed by the EDAs/new series that he has to address before the curtain comes down. Sadly, he can't actually be bothered to SOLVE any of 'em, so he just chucks in a few hints. I've been wondering for ages what Trix's Big Secret is, it's just that, Gosh! Murder! doesn't really help.

If that's the Master in the TARDIS, then who did the Doctor meet in "Henrietta Street"?

Adventuress's bloke-with-the-Whig-rosette was TOTALLY the Master! It couldn't have been a more heart-warming reunion if he'd whipped out a Tissue Compressor Eliminator! So all that Master-is-stuck-on-a-screen nonsense (Sometime Never...(after taking that godawful Scream of the Shalka waaaaay too literally)) or Master-is-stuck-in-the-Eye-of-Harmony stuff (Gallifrey Chronicles (after taking the telemovie way too literally)) will just have to think up convoluted excuses about alternative universes, different points in the timestream, etc etc to explain away the messes they've created.

how and why did the one Vore eat the cat?

Because this is a BBC Doctor Who novel. They ALL eat cats. Haven't you noticed?

And why didn't Fitz, for example, just phone Trix? Or Anji?

No doubt if he'd tried phoning Trix she just wouldn't have registered his voice, any more than she did his pinches, or him stealing her keys, or even him LEAVING HER WRITTEN MESSAGES (I'm sorry, that just stretches my credulity way too far). And maybe the Vore...stuff...hides voices as well so he couldn't contact anyone by phone? (Honestly, it would be so much simpler for the Vore just to eat people like monsters should.)

I'm glad she finally found herself a trophy boyfriend. He must be amazing, because she never mentions her adopted daughter (and Trix, who worked out the adoption, never brings it up).

I feel terrible that Anji's stuck with a fiance who she can't even talk about the TARDIS with. And, yeah, I wondered about the brat (I know I'm not supposed to refer to kids as 'brats' but I feel entitled in this case, given how little Chloe had a career in torturing people to death before her adoption). Fitz resolves to politely inquire after her at the meal, and then we never discover whether he does - and if so what's the answer.

Okay, Anji and Trix are tacitly allowed by the 8th Doctor to use future info to make themselves wealthy. The 9th Doctor's companion (sorry forgot his name) tries to leave himself one little message on his answering machine, and the 9th goes nuts.

Adam. And the Sixth Doctor goes similarly nuts at Evelyn when she pulls a trick like that (Instruments of Darkness), as of course does the First Doctor with Barbara in The Aztecs (mind you, he's a lot more concerned about his own skin than history). But I think it's a personality issue rather than a real contradiction. The Eighth Doctor frowns upon such behaviour, but he's way too nice to actually clamp down by screaming hysterically and/or kicking 'em out of the TARDIS.

BUT...SPOILERS for new series:
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The Ninth Doctor, much as I adore him, is way, WAY tougher. He didn't particularly want Adam on board in the first place ('Doctor, Adam really wants to see the stars' 'Tell him to look at the sky' or words to that effect), he only did it cos he seemed to feel an obligation to supply Rose with a constant stream of young men for sexual purposes (no, honestly). And Rose soon made it clear she was no longer interested in Adam ('That's your boyfriend.' 'Not any more'). And Adam hadn't been with the Doctor long enough to form a bond. Unlike Rose when she similarly betrayed the Doc in Father's Day, whereupon he DID yell, storm off, threaten to abandon her etc etc, it's just that she knew he was bluffing OH GOD I WANT MY NEW SERIES BACK I WANT IT BACK I CAN'T BEAR IT MONTHS AND MONTHS TO GO TILL CHRISTMAS INVASION AND IT WON'T HAVE MY ECCLESTON IN IT...sorry. Where was I?

END OF SPOILERS

Don't you think that once the military figured out burning Vore repels live Vore, they would have started a dead Vore bonfire in every city? And started using flamethrowers instead of guns? Or phosphorus rounds?

Ha ha ha. We're talking about the MILITARY here. The ones who didn't even think to bomb the Krynoid till the Doctor explained the concept to them in words of one syllable...

So whatever happened to the Time Lord travelling in Compassion? Or Iris?

Compassion's Companion may have been a mere Gallifreyan rather than a Time Lord. Dunno about Iris, that 'there are four of us' thing in Adventuress never made sense to me, and adding Marnel and claiming there are five doesn't really help.

Sorry, I don't really believe Sam is dead. Nope, uh-uh, lalala not listening......

Yeah - obviously Parkin realised he didn't stand a hope of bringing genuine closure to the EDAs so he just decided to kill off poor Sam (presumably in the hope that fans would be so happy they'd FEEL like it was closure). What happened to her running the Black Seed Movement? Especially when its co-founder also bit the dust decades before she should have done (Sarah, in Bullet Time)...oh wait, except that SHE'S coming back in THE NEW SERIES OF THE NEW SERIES!!!!!! Honestly, it'll take more than that are they/aren't they dead gibberish in Sometime Never...to sort all this out.

Oddly enough, it's Lance Parkin's "Ahistory" that gave me additional proof (or hope, anyway), that Blonde Sam is alive. He has "Unnatural History" taking place in 2002, which is the date shown on Sam's tombstone in TGC. Maybe I'm reaching for it, but that could be the Universe's way of fixing time by having Dark Sam dead in 2002 and Blonde Sam alive decades later.

As I've said before, I don't believe any of the companions died as suggested in the EDAs. Even Mel.

that could be the Universe's way of fixing time by having Dark Sam dead in 2002 and Blonde Sam alive decades later.

Also, isn't her middle name wrong (for Blonde Sam, anyway)? So it is probably supposed to be Dark Sam.

As I've said before, I don't believe any of the companions died as suggested in the EDAs. Even Mel.

Yeah, the Companions-dropping-like-flies stuff is confusing, to say the least. Even in my most THE BOOKS ARE CANON AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY OTHERWISE! days (i.e. before the new series came along to render the books, and, frankly, everything else in the world, supremely unimportant) I had difficulty swallowing every written word, especially the ones that happened to be written by Mick Lewis. And then Sometime Never... came along to render everything twice as confusing. It didn't help that some of the books contradicted each other (Sarah seemingly dying in Bullet Time but being alive and well and running a political party in Interference. Both of which, of course, being rendered untrue by Sarah's unwed and undead appearance in School Reunion, but then the Time War DID cause continuity a lot of damage...). That said, of course, the undoubtedly canonical TV series itself has thrown up contradictions (Time Lords living forever, Atlantis, etc) and stuff it's almost impossible to believe (Colin Baker being the Doctor, Hartnell having a granddaughter*).

Though despite the otherwise extremely unconvincing nature of Heritage I AM prepared to give Mel's murder the benefit of every possible doubt...

*You'd think the new series would make this a lot more plausible (or at least palatable, given that the Doctor offering Captain Jack a shag in exchange for a pint is one of the great joys of my life), but I STILL can't face the idea of Hartnell having sex. Of course, he'd've been younger then, but I can't face the thought of a young Hartnell EITHER (blame Divided Loyalties).

You can have children without having sex, you know. And I'm not just referrring to the Looms. Given that Time Lord culture is supposed to be so advanced, the Doctor could have sired progeny via test tube babies, or even cloning (though given the comments about cloning in "The Invisible Enemy", that last one seems unlikely).

And who knows? Maybe Time Lords reproduce by budding, or emitting spores.

"School Reunion" does not prevent SJS from leading a major political party. In fact, maybe the closure she got from meeting #10 will finally give her the kick she needs to move on with her life.

You can have children without having sex, you know.

Yeah, but taking season one (the proper season one, I mean, not the fantastically brilliant Ecclestonian one) at face value...Hartnell is obviously supposed to be an almost-normal type of old man - half-senile, irritable, failing body, prepared to get engaged to elderly females - with a normal type of teenaged granddaughter - pop music, hysterics, plus love, sex and marriage with freedom fighters - all of which leads me to suspect that they intended to have him produce Susan (or at least, Susan's parent) in the normal way. Alright, so there's no reason for me to believe as the production team did all those decades ago, but once you accept Susan as the Doctor's non-adopted granddaughter you're on a very slippery slope and have to start worrying about such distasteful matters.

Maybe Time Lords reproduce by budding, or emitting spores.

Not any more they don't. Tee hee.

"School Reunion" does not prevent SJS from leading a major political party. In fact, maybe the closure she got from meeting #10 will finally give her the kick she needs to move on with her life.

Oh, there's no doubt that Sarah's FINALLY going to get on with her life, but I'm pretty sure Interference had her starting the Black Seed movement a lot earlier than School Reunion (and therefore being unlikely to have time to write biographies of headteachers)...and it DEFINITELY has her meeting the Eighth Doctor, something School Reunion denied (mind you, it seemed to deny The Five Doctors too).

While I agree with your statement of "supposed to be", there's never any proof other than the name-calling that the Doctor and Susan are blood related. However, even in our primitive world, I know of many people that are called, for example, aunt and uncle that aren't related to the person in question. Grandfather and grand-daughter could be terms of affection, or some odd honorific used on their homeworld. After all, the Doctor has never been shown to have an MD or a Ph.D., yet we still call him "Doctor."

Remember, the original 1st season also implied that the Doctor was human, or at least much more humanoid than we understand him to be today. So there's a lot of the early years that's still open to modern interpretation, and vigorous retconning.

there's never any proof other than the name-calling that the Doctor and Susan are blood related.

Yeah, but - as Lance Parkin once pointed out (well, he would, he has an ulterior motive, i.e. his obsession with the Doctor having sex) - the first, the VERY FIRST, thing we EVER EVER EVER learn about the Doctor is that...he's a grandfather.

Grandfather and grand-daughter could be terms of affection, or some odd honorific used on their homeworld.

True, except that however fond the Doctor got of later Companions they never adopted affectionate family nicknames (unless you count Rose calling Tennant 'Daddy-O' in The Idiot's Lantern, and I'm pretty sure they were just practicing the lingo and she did NOT generally regard him as a father figure (he called her DOLL for god's sake, though come to think of it that MIGHT reflect his true feelings towards many a Companion)). And bear in mind that their homeworld tends to have Cousins not parents and grandparents. The only connotations 'Grandfather' would have there are the unpleasant ones of Grandfather Paradox.

After all, the Doctor has never been shown to have an MD or a Ph.D., yet we still call him "Doctor."

I think Drax's sulky 'We haven't all got doctorates' when told how to address the Doc implies that Our Hero has, despite his expulsion (Deadly Assassin, Divided Loyalties) managed to achieve a doctorate from Gallifrey's Academy, regardless of whether or not he ever managed a medical degree on Earth.

Remember, the original 1st season also implied that the Doctor was human, or at least much more humanoid than we understand him to be today.

Yup - didn't even have two hearts. What a loser. Still, he had a magic ring to make up for it. And he came from 'eons and universes' away, which technically speaking makes him a lot more alien than later Doctors.

So there's a lot of the early years that's still open to modern interpretation, and vigorous retconning.

And god knows I've been vigorously retconning away on this issue for years. I'm just worried that the new series' enthusiasm for sex is making me retcon the retconning.

It only took an hour for the hired nurse to round up all Marnal's relatives, tell them 'Oops, when I said he was dead I made a bit of a mistake', refuse to let any of them SEE him, and get rid of them? Well, I wouldn't bloody go till I'd seen for myself whether Dad was dead or alive (or, as it happens, regenerated).

'Time was an ocean of broth, rich in elements and possibilities. Observations could be made to spot trends and to predict...But these were projections of reality, not the reality itself as long as the Lords of Time remained in their Citadel, merely watching. Yet, if a single one among them were to cease observation and to step out into the universe, they would freeze time wheresoever their feet touched the ground...' OK, I think I prefer Pompeii's 'there are fixed points and points in flux' as far as explanations for Who's oldest problem are concerned.

Also 'If one of the Lords of Time but glanced into the night's sky, the stars would become true in the instant they were seen, and thence back for every picosecond of the ten thousand years of the stars' photons' journey' makes it pretty stupid that they created their 'Observe. Never interfere' rule...if observation has just as much effect as interference.

'A civilisation twenty thousand centuries old' - hang on a sec, isn't that only two million? Whatever happened to Colin's 'ten million years of absolute power'...?

'There were always renegades and exiles. Right from the earliest days. But not one of...them was capable of this. Not one of them would, well, would dare [destroy Gallifrey]' - wow. That Deadly Assassin business must have been hushed up REALLY well. Not to mention that time the Doc sold the planet to the Vardans...

The Pope's gonna anoint the first native Martian archbishops? Why on Earth would Catholicism appeal to Ice Warriors? (Alright, so I have problems working out why it appeals to ANYONE...)

So the Eighth Doctor's Companions, in the order in which he met 'em, are: 'Lorenzo, Delilah, Frank, Claudia, Deborah, Jemima-Katy, Miranda, Nina, Anji, Beatrice' - the hell they are! Quite apart from all the others, where the hell does Jemima-Katy fit in in the two minutes between the Doc meeting Debbie Castle and meeting Miranda?

'As for his future...he has three ninth incarnations. I've never seen anything like it' - the hell he has! I realise this was written shortly before the New Series transformed all our miserable existences, but all the same!!!!!!! How COULD Parkin think that godawful Scream of the Shalka webcast and that silly Curse of Fatal Death SERIOUSLY offered rivals to the One True Ninth Doctor??????????????????

I'm sure the Doc would have mentioned ten Harry Potter books in Shakespeare Code, IF they existed.

'We guarantee 20 per cent returns on investment per annum' - how the hell can you guarantee THAT? At least, without knowing you've got help from the future? Are Anji's partners running a Ponzi scheme?

Fitz guesses that Trix has been in the TARDIS for over a year. But she says she's only been to 'about ten' planets? Blimey. What is this, the new series?

Dave was Anji's boyfriend, not fiance.

Why doesn't she warn Fitz n'Trix to keep their gobs shut about the whole TARDIS thing in front of her fiance?

'A man with a sallow face and small, pointed black beard, who wore a blue rosette' - wasn't the Master from Adventuress the CLEAN-SHAVEN man with the blue rosette? Wasn't that the entire point of the Doc growing a beard in Adventuress?

And how come the Master in Adventuress didn't know about Marnal, anyway? He was very definite about there being only four of 'em left. And it's not as if Marnal was Chameleon-Arched or something...

'More than one race had tried to use brute force to conquer Gallifrey, assembling vast armadas that had been hopelessly dashed against its defences' - yeah, right. We've all SEEN Invasion of Time, stop pretending it didn't happen.

So Fitz thinks the Time Lords are 'an entire race of immortal supergeniuses, every one of them more brilliant than the Doctor' - sorry, he has BEEN to Gallifrey, y'know! God, no wonder RTG just decided to cut through the gordian knot...

'His opponent remembered this fight, he could counter every move' - oh, nonsense, even assuming that Grandfather Paradox is really the Doctor (ABSOLUTE RUBBISH) how could he remember the moves of some 292-years-past battle? And why the hell doesn't he just use his Shadow, anyway? It's a bloody effective Shadow, at least when Cousin Justine inherits it.

'And the truth is: the Doctor was the finest dream of hundreds of human beings, refined as they tapped away at their typewriters. For generations, they'd made him a hero to countless millions in over a hundred countries. Then, just once, he hadn't come back. His enemies had kept him away. But despite their best efforts he hadn't been forgotten. There were those who remembered him when they walked past a dummy in a shop window or sat on the beach looking out to sea, and every time they ground pepper. Some of those who remembered him had typewriters of their own. And, after far too long, a new generation of children were about hear that music for the first time, and they would learn their sofa wasn't just for sitting on.' – OK, leaving aside the fact it should be 'about TO hear' and that this doesn't so much break the fourth wall as exterminate it...isn't that just the BEST QUOTE EVER! In fact, I think I'll put it at the top of our front page for a while...

Fitz happens to have his passport about his person? WHAT passport, for god's sake? And why does Trix decide to make for New York instead of the TARDIS?

'I've often thought about writing a novel. Never seem to find the time' - didn't the Doctor write one in Adventuress?

Why does the Doctor call the police - breaking his promise before he even makes it?

'The world would have been a better place if Pandora hadn't opened that jar, as he distinctly remembered saying the time he met her' - ah bless, the whole Pandora's Box thing is real! Why didn't he mention it when Amy said it was her favourite story? Oh, and what absolute nonsense - all the evils in humanity didn't appear cos some nosy idiot opened a box, we just evolved that way - with a little help from the Daemons, the Exxarions, et al.

So the Doc's in no rush to leave the TARDIS cos he can't be interrupted in here. Yeah, aren't you forgetting that MARNAL HAS A KEY? Though as it happens he doesn't use it again, gods know why.

'There were almost no injuries. Fewer, in fact, than in a typical morning rush-hour. Most were the result of people trying to get away: there were car accidents and casualties caused by stampedes.' - even given that the Vore 'killed' so many...in what way would millions of people fleeing genocidal monsters cause so few accidents?

Humanity is being swiftly destroyed, and enough people have time to notice they have a bruise or two for it to get on the news? Bizarre.

So the Doc apologises to the TARDIS for making it do a u-turn - but not for chucking a nuke at it?

'I assure you that my thoughts remain unsullied [by humanity]' announces Marnal. Why exactly did he marry a mere human and have KIDS with her?

So Romana is the 413th President of Gallifrey. That doesn't sound like that many. That's, what, nearly 5,000 years apiece on average, even with Parkin's shorter timescale.

Rachel WANTS Marnal to rustle up another fusion reactor? What kind of cretin IS she?

'We've only really kissed and cuddled' - why is Trix bothering to lie about this? (There's no way she's NOT lying. Is there?)

Marnal: 'That's my Type 40' - it SO is not! It's one thing to retcon the Doc into following in I M Foreman's footsteps (Interference), it's quite another to make him MARNAL'S copycat...

'When Time Lords died their memories were uploaded into the circuits of the Matrix.' 'And if all the Time Lords are dead, then logically all their memories would be in the Matrix.' - like hell they would. Only if they got Matrix-attached electrodes stuck to 'em as they were dying. Which signally did NOT happen when the Doc made Gallifrey go boom.

Likewise, the Doc claims that Marnal is the first Time Lord for two million years whose memories won't be stored in the Matrix, despite another book (damned if I can remember which) pointing out that by leaving Gallifrey the Doc had lost his chance at that particular form of immortality.

Why does Marnal's body disappear when he dies? Never happened to any of the other Time Lords we saw die - in fact, we've had an entire book about the Doctor's corpse.

'Many religions bury their dead quickly. Or cremate them' - why is this portrayed as a horrifying issue? No one supposedly 'killed' by the Vore would have been buried/cremated alive - cos none of them were VISIBLE to the rest of humanity.

OK, what the HELL is Fitz's song about??

'As for his future...he has three ninth incarnations. I've never seen anything like it' - the hell he has! I realise this was written shortly before the New Series transformed all our miserable existences, but all the same!!!!!!! How COULD Parkin think that godawful Scream of the Shalka webcast and that silly Curse of Fatal Death SERIOUSLY offered rivals to the One True Ninth Doctor??????????????????

Well, I suppose he MIGHT have been talking about John Hurt...

So. New Who nicks yet ANOTHER idea from the Eighth Doctor Adventures. (Albeit not specifically from Lawrence Miles, for once. Which is a shame cos his ideas are REALLY GOOD.)

SPOILERS for Day of the Doctor:

So the Doctor pushes the button/lever to destroy Gallifrey...and after many decades and many adventures, EVENTUALLY discovers that *drumroll* he didn't destroy the Time Lords after all! He did something incredibly clever/complicated/implausible and SAVED his people while everyone thought he was destroying them! And now he's FINALLY realised this, and after much more clever/complicated/implausible stuff...he can BRING THEM BACK again! Hooray!

(It has to be said, the EDA solution of storing 'em in the Doctor's head is actually a bit cleverer than this pocket universe thing.)

Lance Parkin: 'I got in terrible trouble with...The Gallifrey Chronicles, because it ends before the Doctor defeats the monsters. I knew I would get in trouble when I wrote it. We know the Doctor will win, but we want to see him do it' - Well, I was totally cool with Fitz just saying 'They're monsters, he's the Doctor. There's only one way this is going to end Look - this is a whopping great ventilation shaft...'

And I wasn't that desperate to SEE the Time Lords return either, and hasn't Hell Bent proved me wise.

Okay, Anji and Trix are tacitly allowed by the 8th Doctor to use future info to make themselves wealthy. The 9th Doctor's companion (sorry forgot his name) tries to leave himself one little message on his answering machine, and the 9th goes nuts.

And, for what it's worth, 'Ace could tell that [Thirteen] was unhappy' about her finagling herself a fortune by nicking fifty quid from McCoy. (At Childhood's End.) But she doesn't actually SAY anything. And Ace did set up a charity and all, which I'm pretty sure wasn't top of Adam's list of priorities...

Fitz happens to have his passport about his person? WHAT passport, for god's sake?

To be fair, Revolution Man claims (however implausibly) that the Doctor provides his Strays with oodles of fake-passports.

'She hurt, she hurt, she was outraged at this treatment' - Sexy in Unnatural History when the Doc's using her to plug a tear in space-time.

Absolutely nothing - Sexy in Gallifrey Chronicles AFTER THE DOCTOR BLOWS OUT HER INNARDS WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB.

'When Time Lords died their memories were uploaded into the circuits of the Matrix.' 'And if all the Time Lords are dead, then logically all their memories would be in the Matrix.' - like hell they would. Only if they got Matrix-attached electrodes stuck to 'em as they were dying. Which signally did NOT happen when the Doc made Gallifrey go boom.

On the other hand, Devil Goblins From Neptune DOES claim that 'My people have a rite, a psychic ability that allows the memories of a dying Gallifreyan to be transferred to another's mind prior to assimilation'. On the other other hand, said novel also implies the Doc isn't very good at it, and he'd have to be BLOODY good to absorb so many memories at once...in addition to all the dead ones...

'As for his future...he has three ninth incarnations. I've never seen anything like it' - the hell he has! I realise this was written shortly before the New Series transformed all our miserable existences, but all the same!!!!!!! How COULD Parkin think that godawful Scream of the Shalka webcast and that silly Curse of Fatal Death SERIOUSLY offered rivals to the One True Ninth Doctor??????????????????

And how could he not foresee all those Timeless Children...?

'She hurt, she hurt, she was outraged at this treatment' - Sexy in Unnatural History when the Doc's using her to plug a tear in space-time.

Absolutely nothing - Sexy in Gallifrey Chronicles AFTER THE DOCTOR BLOWS OUT HER INNARDS WITH A NUCLEAR BOMB.

Autumn Mist's unhelpful contribution to the issue: 'She never grieved for herself. Maybe at the time, she would feel pain, or outrage, but never for long. Like him, she bounced back.'

Fitz happens to have his passport about his person? WHAT passport, for god's sake?

To be fair, Revolution Man claims (however implausibly) that the Doctor provides his Strays with oodles of fake-passports.

And Algebra of Ice claims the Doc provided Ace with a driving licence, so *shrugs* I guess Our Hero is just way more responsible than s/he appears on-screen...

To be fair, Revolution Man claims (however implausibly) that the Doctor provides his Strays with oodles of fake-passports.

Yup, History 101 too.

*Shrugs* I guess Himself had absolutely nothing better to do with his century stuck on Earth than to learn forgery skills. Which admittedly is more than Capaldi bothered with in his four-and-a-half-billion-year sabbatical or JODIE! managed in her gods-know-how-long Judoon prison time.

... or JODIE! managed in her gods-know-how-long Judoon prison time.

To be fair, it doesn't look like the Judoons provide their prisonners with many opportunities to learn new skills.

You can make musical instruments out of loo paper for heaven's sake.

I mean, obviously, not that the Doctor would need any loo paper cos she's THE DOCTOR but the point is, anyone can make the most of ANY opportunity, especially if a) they're THE DOCTOR and b) they're up against THE JUDOON.

Fitz happens to have his passport about his person? WHAT passport, for god's sake?

To be fair, Revolution Man claims (however implausibly) that the Doctor provides his Strays with oodles of fake-passports.

And Escape Velocity has Fitz acquire his very own twenty-first-century passport by whipping out his birth certificate (boy did he take up Sexy-travel in a more prepared way than anyone bar Donna 'Planet of the hats, I'm ready!' Noble) and assuring the relevant authorities that '"Of course it's not 1935, just look at me!" Eventually he had managed to persuade the guy that the document was genuine and that what appeared to be a three was, in fact, a seven' - yeah, the Doc spending his time forging passports not looking so stupid NOW...

And how come the Master in Adventuress didn't know about Marnal, anyway?

Especially with TARDIS Wiki claiming that MARNAL IS THE MASTER'S DAD!

Fitz happens to have his passport about his person? WHAT passport, for god's sake?

To be fair, Revolution Man claims (however implausibly) that the Doctor provides his Strays with oodles of fake-passports.

Yup, Sam has 'The Altairian driver's licence the Doctor had helped her get, tucked in front of her forged ID'...for one of the least effective Doctors, Eight certainly does the admin...