[Moderator's Note: Moved from 'The TARDIS Sound' thread in 'Ask the Matrix']

Mike might shoot this topic down in flames but this is a challenge for people to come up with other descriptions of the TARDIS materialisation/dematerialisation sound, other than wheezing and groaning and Vworp Vworp.
Vworp Vworp is the comic shorthand but the original wording I thought was closer to the mark - V-W-O-A-R-P - dragging out the sound.
I once played the sound to a non-fan to get an unbiased description and she came up with "a giant, rusty pendulum trying hard to move back and forth".

No takers on this one? I'd have thought Emily would have at least had something to say...

Who, me? I did give it considerable thought, but realised that my brain had been scrambled by reading too many Terrance Dicks Target novelisations, and I couldn't get beyond 'wheezing groaning sound'.

The TARDIS goess VWORP, VWORP CA-CHUD! Terrance Dicks was close, though. But who cares any way!? (no pun intended)

I just thought that with so many people writing Who novels nowadays I thought there had to be something beyond Vworp Vworp (which is more of a shorthand for the noise) and wheezing and groaning. Christopher H. Bidmead tried whirring and chuffing in one of his novelisations but I didn't think that even came close.

I'm just reading Blood Harvest, and felt the need to share this:

'I thought I heard a strange kind of sound from upstairs.'
'What sort of sound?'
'It's hard to describe, Captain. It was kind of, I dunno, a sort of wheezing, groaning sound.'
'Get away with you. Wheezing and groaning...What kind of an eejit would make up a description like that?'

Which is pretty rich, given that Blood Harvest is by Terrance Dicks.

It's good the man can laugh at himself.

It must be that darn Dicks-o-matic acting up again.

I remember watching a tv special of Dr. Who where they show how the sound is done. I believe someone would run a pipe or a thin metal stick through a cello. It was a strange thing to see but it sounded like the sound in the end.

So we can expect descriptions like "The sound of an abused cello faded in and out of existence, rising to a crescendo before a blue box appeared" ??

Just reading Lucifer Rising:

'A sound like distant drums, or perhaps a thunderstorm far away across a black sea.'

Nice try, but give me wheezing and groaning any day.

A big, fat, asthmatic snake in a tunnel?

Doing sit ups.

While swallowing a live parakeet, hence the higher pitch noises.

Emily... your comment "Nice try, but give me wheezing and groaning any day." - I would hate to see that taken out of context!

I hadn't thought of that. Well, it's just lucky that I said it on a Doctor Who board, where not only will everyone understand the context, but they'll all be as pure-minded as the Doctor himself.

Maybe it's not the TARDIS, but the Doctor & companions doing all that 'wheezing & groaning'. ;)

Fortunately, I have both the Silva Screen & Silva America versions of the 5 Doctors & Earthshock [formerly a BBC record/tape, DOCTOR WHO - THE MUSIC]. According to both Dick Mills and Mark Ayers, the "TARDIS sounds were created by tutoring an old piano [by rubbing a key up and down its strings for example] and then re-recording and treating the resulting noise." Clearly, Mark would agree that this quote is "fair use."

If you want to use Brian Hodgson's sound effects of the TARDIS interior [both in flight & stationary] and the Observation Screen in some audio dramas, please post a request to news:alt.binaries.drwho, & describe your preferred format. The doors and some other sound effects are available on 30 Years at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, which is available from Amazon.com, a great online store.

'Row na row, row na row, row na row, dee dee da dee dee, dee dee da dee dee dee...'

*Shakes head sadly* No wonder The Pit was voted the worst ever Doctor Who novel...

Row na row, row na row, row na row, dee dee da dee dee, dee dee da dee dee dee...

Isn't that the chorus to a Carpenters' song? Or maybe the Captain & Tenneile?

How did the foley artists create the sound? That would help give us a clue as to how to describe it. It is a difficult sound to describe, I must admit.

It's a combination of several sounds, including a slowed-down recording of an elephant trumpeting, a razor blade dragged across some piano strings, and some empty cans being struck.

And the sound of time depserately clashing with itself within the vortex?

Nah. That's a high-pitched twiddly-dee noise.

I think that was earlier synthesizer noises.

[Moderator's Note: Moved from 'Steering the TARDIS' thread in 'Asking the Matrix']

(Always thought "steer" was an odd word choice.)

Over on the "Attack of the Cymbermen" page, Mike Konczewski mentions that "[b]y the time of the 7th Doctor, [the Doctor]'s regained the ability to steer [the TARDIS..."

True enough, but there are several instances of earlier Doctors sucessfully navigating the TARDIS. Without looking at an episode list, the earliest one I can think of is "Frontier in Space" where he materializes it inside the frieghter that's about to hit them (and then pats himself on the back for how brilliant that is), but there are other times--"City of Death" and "Logopolis" come to mind.

What other episodes is the Doctor (not the Timelords) able to get where he is trying to go?

Every time the Doctor needs to move the TARDIS _during_ an episode he gets it right. The Time Warrior, The Green Death, Planet of the Spiders, Pyramids of Mars, State of Decay (though they considerately provide a 'it's easier in E-Space cos it's smaller' excuse), Four to Doomsday, Black Orchid, Arc of Infinity, Earthshock, Frontios, Attack of the Cybermen, Timelash, as well as the ones you've mentioned. Hell, even _Adric_ gets it right in The Visitation! OK, so the Doctor isn't always 100% successful (like not landing in the river as planned during Logopolis - though if _I_ was the TARDIS I'd have slightly adjusted the coordinates to avoid a ducking too) but he _never_ ends up several thousand years and light-years away from the intended target (a la Terror of the Zygons/Planet of Evil), thus stranding Tegan on Frontios/carrying a bunch of 1920s policemen accidentally off to the other side of the universe, or whatever.

What I want to know is _why_. I've nothing against the Doctor gradually learning how to pilot his ship, but would it be too much trouble to give us a proper explanation (other than 'the TARDIS and I are getting better at these short hops')? Like the Time Lords giving the TARDIS a 500-year service after The Three Doctors? Or the Doctor finding that book of codes whose absence, the First Doctor claimed, was responsible for his inability to steer?

Well, by Inty, there is a room in the TARDIS containing the many volumes of the instructional manual- maybe the Time Lords gave them to him after t3Ds..

And of course, there's a DWM comic strip that has the TARDIS instruction manual as part of the Key to Time, and the 7th Doctor has to nick it off his 1st incarnation shortly before aUC...

I am sometimes under the impression that the Doctor for the most part would rather let the TARDIS decide where to go. The whole 'can't steer the TARDIS' bit was a lie. It is always available when he absolutely must be somewhere, with some really fine navigation in several stories.

What confuses me is when many stories, the aliens tried to take over the TARDIS, it is CLEARLY stated that no one but the Doctor can fly it, where upon Leila somehow managed to dematerialize it, Tegan and Nyssa can fly it back to Castrovalva with a few instructions (in English, mind you) from the TARDIS's help file, Adric and Turlough seemed to have a working knowledge on how it works, and so on.

Does the TARDIS have the ability to discriminate which persons can use her controls?

Quite possibly, it would seem a logical precaution.

When the Doctor tries to materialise around a real police box, he's a few inches off in Logopolis but then does an amazingly short journey to correct himself.
By the time of Pertwee, aren't the Time Lords or CIA giving the Doctor limited TARDIS access, making him able to to do whatever's necessary for the particular mission they send him on?

Edje - yes, but by Inty the TARDIS has everything - eye of harmony, miraculous ability to bring people back to life, butterfly room, two Saudi Arabian torturers...you name it.

Luiner, I honestly didn't get the impression that the first two Doctors EVER managed to steer the TARDIS correctly (Five Doctors and Two Doctors excepted). Why lie about it? Within five minutes of kidnapping Ian and Barbara, #1 was so sick of their company that I don't doubt he'd have happily returned them home, had he been able to manage it. And I'm sure there are times within every story when being able to hop around in the TARDIS would have come in very useful...though come to think of it, the TARDIS was invaribly robbed of its fluid link/imprisoned in a force field/trapped behind rubble/lock stolen by Sensorites/key won by Khan etc. But you have to admit the Second Doctor would have been unlikely to call for Time Lord help had he any chance of returning those people to their homes.

The Doctor was obviously lying through his teeth when he claimed that the TARDIS controls were isomorphic or whatever the word was. No doubt in an attempt to get other people's grubby paws off his console. Not that it did any good - half the galaxy have now had a go at piloting that blue box (though don't forget that the Master, not Tegan, was really controlling it in Castrovalva). Pretty s t u p i d of the Time Lords _not_ to program their TARDISes not to be used by aliens, but never mind...and let's not even START getting into conversations about their obsession with human eyeballs.

Chris - yes. But I wasn't counting the times the Time Lords moved the TARDIS by remote control, or when it was guided by the tracer.

I've always assumed that the isomorphic setting could be switched on or off. Why else would some people be able to move it and others not?

Is "Enemy of the World" the only story in which someone else was unable to operate the TARDIS? Did Salamander actually try? It's been many, many years since I read the book.

Ditto for the temporal grace setting. Or did the Doctor once say it malfunctioned?

uh luiner nyssa and tegan never did fly the tardis they only seemed too if you want to proof watch the end if castrovalva again the diag goes as follows
doctor:who landed this?
tegan:i did doctor
doctor:(unbeliving)you flew the tardis?
tegan:yes i followed the directions in the computer
doctor: there aren't any it was a projection
nyssa:like adric was it the zero room?
tegan:then i didn't fly it?
doctor:adic reprogramed it whatever you did the consol we would have ended up at castrovalva.
as for leela/adic/tulogh well
1.the doctor never said that no one but him could make the tardis take off
tuloght got what little he krew from the black guardian.

Actually, the Tardis has power steering with a tilting steering wheel, front disc brakes, AC, AM /FM radio & airbags. ;)

Emily, I think the 1st Doctor was able to steer correctly twice (not including the novels). Once in "Planet of the Giants" (he did manage to return to the London of I&B's time, only they were 2" tall), and once in "The Dalek Masterplan" (but only by hooking up the part stolen from the Monk's TARDIS, which immediately blew up).

One thing that Whodom rarely seems to notice is how much the console room is seen to judder. And usually after a particularly smug Doctor comment about how capable he is of flying the TARDIS. When you actually think of how many stories use a violent shake of the camera, it has become a forgotten Who cliche - the act of gripping onto the console and slowly pressing buttons while explaining what's happening. Isn't it just so funny! :)

Not as funny as the rather phallic-looking Tissue Compression Eliminator so favoured by the Master.

Never mind the fact it would been much cheaper to just use a .38 Saturday night special revolver, which is easily concealable and can kill just as easily...nah, just doesn't have that "EVIL" touch to it. I guess the Master likes leaving dead bodies looking like action figures. I guess there is the added benefit of making it harder for anybody to find the bodies.

I just remembered another time the Doctor was able to steer the TARDIS correctly. At the end of "Time and the Rani", the Doctor takes all of the kidnapped Great Thinkers and returns them to their correct time and place. They're all long gone by the beginning of "Paradise Towers", so I have to assume that he was able to return everyone without too much trouble.

Earlier return trips were in "Meglos" (he returns the kidnapped Earthman), "The Awakening" (he returns Will Chandler to 1643), "Timelash" (he returns HG Wells to his correct time), and "The Five Doctors" (each of the Doctors returns his companion to their correct time and place).

mike all those doctor;s were later doctors could it be that the doctor learned better control with pactice? as for the 5 doctors i was under the immpression that rassilon was in control and he sent them the first 4 doctors back where they came from.

The Doctor manages to return everyone between Earthshock and Time-Flight.

Omnidragon, my point was that the later Doctor's did learn how steer the TARDIS better than their earlier incarnations.

Chris--true, but that could have been done by using the Rapid Return switch. The flights I mentioned were all unplanned.

Which eposides show the best views
of inside the tardis?
would like to see them,so
reply if you know.

If you mean, show *more* of the TARDIS, I'd check out...

'Edge of Destruction'
'Masque of Mandragora'
'Invasion of Time'
'Logopolis'
'Castrovalva'
and the TV Movie

Does Terminus show Nyssa's room?

I think so. The Visitation does too. Snakedance shows Tegan's. Earthshock shows Adric's (and so does Terminus, when it becomes Turlough's). I suppose we can only be thankful that we've been spared the Doctor's. God, TARDIS bedrooms are so boring. I wanna see the LIBRARY!

Oh, and I wouldn't watch Invasion of Time if I were you. There's no doubt it shows plenty of the TARDIS, but it's in a way that'll shatter your illusions for years to come. Even after the antidote, i.e. repeated watchings of Castrovalva and the telemovie.

Isn't there a third - or tertiary - console room in one of the New Adventures?

Yeah, a medieval stone/mason styled room.

Is the telemovie control room supposed to be the one we all know, or a modified wooden one, or another one, or what?

I assume it's supposed to be a drastic redecoration of the normal control room (if not as drastic as the Cloister Room's regeneration).

After Parting of the Ways, it almost seems like the TARDIS should have its own board under 'Companions.' But anyway, thinking about it since this last episode, I'm trying to remember: when was the first time we heard it suggested, on-screen, that the TARDIS is alive?

I'm pretty sure it was the Pertwee era (he always called her "old girl"), but I'll be darned if I can remember which.

Hartnell always called it "the Ship" or "the TARDIS".

By themselves, his 'old girl' comments seem more akin to a guy calling his car 'she.'

I was thinking T. Baker but am just as stumped as you are.

Well possibly at the end of The Tenth Planet there could be an indication the TARDIS might have some life, given it seems to assist the Doctor in his regeneration... doesn't he say something like "Of course, it's part of the TARDIS, I've been renewed!" in Power of the Daleks?

What about the TARDIS key being genetically programmed to only let the Doctor in? I always thought that meant that there was some kind of link...

Isn't that a Pertwee story? Spearhead...?

If that was the case, how did Sarah Jane and the others get in using the key?

Oh I KNOW - I was just saying that I thought it had been mentioned somewhere in the episodes!

It's something that is completely unsustainable as an idea the moment you get companions running about the place...

I just could have sworn to have read it/heard it somewhere in an episode.

The Doctor has the ability to program a key to be used by others. Alice, you're right about the "Spearhead" reference. Which is, of course, contradicted by "The Time Meddler" and "Dalek Masterplan", where the Doctor uses his key to enter the Monk's TARDIS.

And Claws Of Axos, where the Master unlocks the door and wanders into the Doctors' Tardis.

Re:Tardis Locks
Note:The Doctor occasionaly upgrades the TARDIS'es security...
Normally, this happens, whenever he feels like it (Very Rare) or a companion badgers him into doing so....
An Example of this, would be Four To Doomsday, in which Monarch uses several devices to try to open the TARDIS door, including Directional Cobolt Beams & Sonic Keys, but fails dismally...
(BTW, The Hartnell era TARDIS used a lock with 21 positions, however only 1 opened the Tardis Doors, the other 20 "fused the lock" so to speak...)

Dominion suggests that the TARDIS and the Doctor are linked in some TARDIS-falls-apart-therefore-Doctor-falls-apart-too kind of way...which just about makes sense until you get to the TARDIS being destroyed in Shadows of Avalon and the Doc barely even bothering to shrug his shoulders over it...

What did people think of the new TARDIS interior? Obviously, as part of the new series (NEW SERIES!!!!) it is beyond reproach, a slice of perfection hitherto undreamt-of by humanity, but...and this is no doubt due ENTIRELY to my lack of taste...I wasn't that taken with it. I preferred the telemovie version or even the normal white one. And I WANT TO SEE MORE ROOMS! NOW!

I think I agree with you Emily - the Tardis (sorry should that be TARDIS?) interior is about the only thing that I wasn't entirely ecstatic about in the new series...it somehow just missed the beat...

I kinda miss the 'cosyness' you got about the old control room...

(And I have only ever seen the telemovie once - so traumatised I excised it from my memory! My mum has it on video and I am not even remotely tempted to watch it again. She, on the other hand, loves it and wants Paul McGann to be given another crack at the part).

I didn't like it much but warmed to it a little by the end, though I still much prefer the classic white room. I never cared for the one in the telemovie either. They were just *too* different. Oh, but I liked the old wooden one.

It was a bit Jules Verne-20,000 leagues under the sea, but it was ok I guess.

Except for that bicycle pump!

Aaaaaggghhhhhh! DON'T MENTION THE BICYCLE PUMP!

And what d'you think of Eccleston actually BELIEVING (as stated in one of those rather disappointing Confidential things) that the TARDIS is so difficult to control becuase it should have a crew of SIX! How such an ignoramous was ever permitted to get his paws on my TARDIS is beyond me. (Of course, Lawrence has typically pointed out that he may actually have been RIGHT as we never actually get to see a non-stolen-by-a-Renegade TARDIS in operation...)

More specifically, what I miss are the roundels and the colour white. Give me those, and keep the idea of a console in the centre, and they can do whatever they want.

Except for that bicycle pump!

Are these posts going to be like the "Macbeth" scene from "Black Adder II"?

And didn't the mighty Lawrence M himself have a TARDIS piloted by a single, non-renegade, Time Lord in "Alien Bodies"?

Do we ever see the Master and the Rani and their consoles with their TARDISes in flight?

Together in the Rani's TARDIS at the end of 'Mark of the Rani.'

What happens in the Macbeth scene from Black Adder II?

And didn't the mighty Lawrence M himself have a TARDIS piloted by a single, non-renegade, Time Lord in "Alien Bodies"?

Ah, but Marie was a Type...actually I can't remember what type, in the early 100s, anyway. After TARDISes were being bred from Compassion, anyway, i.e. were MASSIVELY more advanced than our faithful Type 40, and were, in fact, totally capable of running themselves without ANY of this pilot nonsense (though obviously they DID have a Time Lord on board, presumably to stop them getting ideas about freedom. Feminism. Pacifism. That sort of thing).

Do we ever see the Master and the Rani and their consoles with their TARDISes in flight?

There's also a Master in Curse of the Fatal Death. Whose console room looks very tacky indeed.

I'm talking about the Time Lord captured by the Quark; he flew an old fashioned TARDIS.

Also, Koschei was flying a TARDIS solo in "The Dark Path", which was set prior to going renegade.

I have to assume Drax was flying solo in "The Armageddon Factor" prior to his TARDIS breaking down.

Sorry, I meant "Black Adder III. In the episode "Sense and Senility", two actors explain to Blackadder that it's bad luck to say the name of "The Scottish Play" (Macbeth), and they have to do a complicated little dance involving pinching to ward off the bad luck. Naturally, Blackadder finds about a hundred different excuses for saying "Macbeth."

I'm talking about the Time Lord captured by the Quark

There was a Time Lord captured by a Quark...?

Also, Koschei was flying a TARDIS solo in "The Dark Path", which was set prior to going renegade

I really have gotta read Dark Path sometime...

...maybe some OTHER time.

I have to assume Drax was flying solo in "The Armageddon Factor" prior to his TARDIS breaking down

Ah, but was Drax on official business for the High Council? Or did he just (as I've always subconsciously assumed) grab a TARDIS and scarper?

Do you guys think that the TARDIS always lands the Doctor in areas that need his help to save the universe?
The reason I ask is that while the Doctor says that the TARDIS is unsteerable, or has a faulty steering mechanism, it seems to land the Doctor exactly when and where he needs to be.

Boy, is that a debatable question. There have been thousands of hours (millions!) of fan discussion over this one. If you buy into Terrence Dicks' theory, he believes that at some point the Time Lords installed a doohickey in the TARDIS that allows them to steer it into trouble spots. This allows the Doctor to take the blame/credit for dealing with the problem, leaving the Time Lords out of the picture. The Doctor himself claims this in "The Brain of Morbius" and "The Two Doctors". You can also see the TARDIS controlled by the TLs in the "Mindwarp" section of "The Trial of a Time Lord."

The TARDIS during the 1st Doctor's tenure was definitely unsteerable; he was forced to admit this during "The Dalek Masterplan." The 2nd Doctor was constantly having breakdowns during his time (lots of mercury switch problems, such as in "The Wheel in Space." No telling what the 3rd Doctor did to his machine while trying to tinker with it during his exile, but he did seem to have a bit more control. Both the 4th and the 5th Doctor claimed to have approved their piloting skills, especially with short hops (maybe Romana gave him some training?). By the time of the 7th Doctor, the TARDIS could pretty much go where he wanted it to go, barring the odd highjacking ("Time and the Rani").

Thanks Mike,
But for the 9th Doctor the TARDIS was back to missing the target and landing the Doctor in the general area/ time but at a time of trouble.
Instead of Naples 1860 they landed in Cardiff 1869 just in time to stop the Guelf.
They returned to London 12 months instead of 12 hours after Rose's departure again just in time to deal with the Slytheen.
The same thing happened to the 10th Doctor in the episodes "Tooth and Claw" and "The Idiot Lantern" .
Also why would the Time Lords plant something in the TARDIS that would automatically steer it to trouble spots when they were the supreme non-interventionists

They weren't always non-interventionists,IIRC the Tom Baker episode Underworld explained what led to that policy.

There have been members willing to interfere, the Celestial Intervention Agency, for instance, & they will deal with threats to the universe and/or their own survival, vampires as we learned in State Of Decay, Daleks in Genesis Of The Daleks, Fendahl in Image Of The Fendahl, etc., etc.

The actual policy is probably something like, (Loudly & clearly) "We wil not interfere" (mumbled quickly & softly) "unless we have to."

As for the problems with the 9th & 10th Doctors TARDIS steering, I would imagine the TARDIS got seriously damaged in the Time War, which would explain jury rigged nonsense like the bicycle pump.

As for the TARDIS ending up where it's most needed, well...

Jack Williamson in his Legion Of Time series created Jonbarr points. Spots in time where time could diverge based on decisions or actions.

I've felt that the TARDIS is naturally attracted to these 'weak spots' in the time continuum. Since time is susceptable to change at those points a time machine might have less resistence to deal with when materializing.

In Image Of The Fendahl the Doctor mentioned something about a time fissure IIRC. This also sounds like something that might affect a time machine.

The second Doctor must have steered the TARDIS correctly and got the Master of The Land of Fiction home in an offscreen adventure (well, maybe not an 'adventure').

The second Doctor must have steered the TARDIS correctly and got the Master of The Land of Fiction home in an offscreen adventure (well, maybe not an 'adventure').

Not necessarily, they could have tossed the irritating old git out of the nearest airlock...well, have dumped him on the first vaguely habitable planet they came across, anyway. The Doctor in those days wasn't big on getting people back to their rightful times, Hartnell FORCED poor Steven and Susan to stay on the wrong planets, for starters.

Anyway, I'd definitely blame the TARDIS herself rather than the Time Lords (especially nowadays, for obvious reasons) for all those 'accidental' landings just in time for the Doctor to save the day. Either she enjoys being part of a planet-rescuing partnership or she doesn't want her darling Doc to get bored. (Or, of course, she's trying to get him killed, presumably in retaliation for one of those hammer incidents). What I CAN'T work out is why the Doctor isn't a bit suspicious by now.

DOCTOR [telling River she can't possibly have landed the TARDIS]: It didn't make the noise.
RIVER: What noise?
DOCTOR: You know....[makes rather adorable wheezing and groaning sound]
RIVER: It's not supposed to make that noise. YOU leave the brake on.

OK, leaving aside the fact that's the Funniest Line EVER...has the Doc REALLY been leaving the TARDIS brake on all these centuries? How the poor darling must have suffered! More to the point, does that mean we're not gonna be getting any MORE wheezing and groaning noises, cos if so, OBVIOUSLY Moffat has, regrettably, got to be put up against the nearest wall and shot.

Infuriatingly, I can't remember if other TARDISes make that noise. They MUST, musn't they??

Yes, they all have, but it was always shorter, gentler, etc., rightly making the Doctor's type 40 sound more rackety.

Where did you get this anyway? Have you seen a clip I haven't?

Yup It's on the http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho site.

*sigh* As usual, any video clip there is not available outside the UK.

For a show with an international following, Doctor Who has the worst website for international fans.

Yep. And BBC America has *not* stepped in to fill the gap, not even for Americans.

Nice that the TARDIS gets her own thread here. According to the Doctor, she is sentient.

We were talking about that above. Having just re-watched The Time Monster, I have to say that this is the story that states beyond any doubt, several times in fact, that the TARDIS is alive/sentient.

Not to mention an infinitely more faithful Companion to the Doctor than any of the two-legged variety. Yet does she get ANY credit? The Doc was pratically BEGGING the Daleks to burn the TARDIS alive...as long as it didn't have Donna in it.

Still, at least Matt seems rather more fond of the Sexy Thing than his predecessors...

SPOILERS FOR THE BIG BANG In what way is the TARDIS 'new'? (As in, 'Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue', obviously.) Sure, she has a recently-reconfigured console room, but THAT hardly qualifies...

Because it's timeless so it can be simutenous old and new.

Maybe.

Dunno about TIMELESS, the Time Lords themselves labelled her 'obsolete'...

Okay. Because the interior regenerated?

Her appearance in the newly-remembered universe was new....

And why does an exploding TARDIS crack the universe, anyway? Presumably the Doc blew every OTHER TARDIS in the universe to smithereens in one glorious moment, and THAT didn't do much harm...

'This is amazing!' 'Nah, this is transport...I keep amazing out here' - if I was the TARDIS I'd be kicking the ungrateful git out my airlock about now...For the first Doctor to call the TARDIS 'dear' since Tom - AND for someone who never allowed the sonic screwdriver to get dissed - Eleven is remarkably uncaring of her feelings.

Yeah, the TARDIS is a sentient being.

Still, at least Eleven doesn't hit her with a hammer all the time (at least, I don't THINK he does. Still in the middle of rewatching Season 5/31). OR blow her to pieces thanks to holding back his regeneration for so long so he can visit about fifty million old flames. A few insults are probably water off a duck's back for the Old Girl.

To resume the discussion on TARDIS locking we were having in the Full Circle section:

Amanda: I'm thinking of that time when the Sycorax beamed the TARDIS & Co to their ship, Mickey was the last one out and Rose shouted at him to close the door. This presumably locked it for no apparent reason.

Of course, it COULD have all been a cunning bluff on Rose's part. She knew the door wouldn't lock BUT if she ACTED as if Mickey slamming it shut would lock it, the Sycorax wouldn't even TRY the door...

...though, let's face it, this is HIGHLY unlikely. Rose was complete rubbish at bluffing, as proven two minutes later when she orders the Sycorax off-planet in the name of various monsters, 'Ooh, and the Daleks.'

Contrast that with the Doctor and Donna arriving on the Oodsphere, they get out, then Donna goes back in for a coat. She didn't have a key yet.

Well, quite. And Amy and Rory always seem to be popping in and out of that TARDIS to dump engagement rings and suchlike, AFTER the door has been shut. And the Doc's shown no sign of giving either of THEM a key.

And I don't remember EVER seeing the Doctor lock the TARDIS door shut when he exited, only when he enters. The locking seems automatic.

Though in that case, how did Ben and Polly get aboard? Wasn't the Doctor in the middle of taking off, presumably with the door FIRMLY SHUT after his unpleasant Planet of Giants-related experiences with the TARDIS doors opening in mid-flight (come to think of it - how did they do THAT)? Or does shutting the door only lock it when the Doctor's outside not inside? Did the Doctor leave the door ajar in Attack of the Cybermen or what?

And why does a sentient being like the TARDIS NEED a stupid door-lock and key anyway? She can immediately sense who has the right to a telepathic translation and give it to 'em without them even noticing...why can't she bloody RECOGNISE the Doctor and Companions and LET THEM IN?

Look, there's only one thing for it: SOMEONE will have to watch everything from An Unearthly Child to A Christmas Carol with especial reference to the TARDIS doors. (They can fast-forward through any non-TARDIS related bits.) Any volunteers? Just think how exciting this'll be in the Hartnell era, what with the TARDIS having locks with 23 different combinations...or something...

Yeah, the TARDIS is a sentient being.

Probably not so much actually, given how many times even a smidgeon of thought on her part would have saved the day. I think the Doctor merely claims she's alive.

Re: Ben & Polly's arrival
Apparently Dodo asked them to return the Tardis key, that the Doctor had given to her, back to him...
As such, they used the key to enter...

If I were the TARDIS, next time Eleven was inside, I'd lock the doors and turn off all the oxygen.

Re: Ben & Polly's arrival
Apparently Dodo asked them to return the Tardis key, that the Doctor had given to her, back to him...
As such, they used the key to enter...

Thanks! I'm halfway through War Machines at the moment, as it happens, but I suspect I'll be halfway through it for some considerable time given the Dominators-style levels of tedium...

If I were the TARDIS, next time Eleven was inside, I'd lock the doors and turn off all the oxygen.

Ladies and gentlemen *drumroll* we FINALLY have an explanation for one of the great mysteries of the universe, viz, the Doctor-suffocating-inside-the-TARDIS scene in Planet of the Daleks. (I suspect it wasn't anything in particular Pertwee had done - the Old Girl must have just snapped and lashed out at all those past AND FUTURE abuses...)

The TARDIS goes rogue!

'A sound that I can only describe as the mechanical analogue to the death throes of some poor wretch, wracked by consumption.' - Dr Watson in Happy Endings (to get back to the 'TARDIS sound' conversation of 1999).

Why didn't Idris take the opportunity to complain about the time that the Doctor tried to drown her in the Thames?

The Doctor's Wife confirmed many theories I have had about the whole of Doctor Who. "I always took you where you needed to go" That's what the TARDIS (or sexy) said. All those times the Doctor ended up where he wasn't trying to get to, she brought him there. Especially the 1st and 2nd Doctors when it seemed so random. The TARDIS was controlling everything from the beginning!

Why didn't Idris take the opportunity to complain about the time that the Doctor tried to drown her in the Thames?

It WAS a while ago, not to mention a dismal failure. Personally I'd be more concerned about the fact that, while I was being BURNED ALIVE BY THE DALEKS, my beloved was screaming 'No! NOOOOOO! Burn the TARDIS, sure, no problem, but spare Donna! PLEEEEEASE!'

(I mean, now we KNOW the TARDIS doesn't find orange hair pretty. AND regards 'em all as strays - bless!)

All those times the Doctor ended up where he wasn't trying to get to, she brought him there. Especially the 1st and 2nd Doctors when it seemed so random. The TARDIS was controlling everything from the beginning!

Yeah, you'd THINK that would have resulted in a real 'D'OH!' moment on the part of the Doctor. It seems the penny MUST have previously dropped, after all.

Still, what were all those First Doctor historicals all about? He certainly wasn't needed THERE. Was the Old Girl just pandering to Barbara's history-obsession?

Of course, the TARDIS wouldn't like orange women. Didn't the Doctor once spurn her in order to travel around inside a ginger woman instead?! And also the whole Dalek-inferno-incident can't have endeared Sexy to Donna.

A more imaginative use than usual of the TARDIS seems to be a running motif in the Moff's stories and seems to be going somewhere (cf 'The Lodger'). Who was it who once said "we kids want Narnia, not the wardrobe"?!

How often has the Doctor thumped or abused the TARDIS in the past... DOCTOR WHO - WIFE-BEATER!!!

I think Emily now needs to change the title of this board to "Sexy"

But then she would no longer be able to say "I wish the TARDIS would hurry up and materialise in my life" without it sounding strange.

Why did we never get to hear Sexy's perspective on "that time I got sucked into a planet by some giant woodlice"?

Of course, the TARDIS wouldn't like orange women. Didn't the Doctor once spurn her in order to travel around inside a ginger woman instead?!

Not anymore he didn't.

And it's not exactly as if he spurned her, more as if she blew into little pieces and, well, Compassion was just there, and one thing led to another...

And also the whole Dalek-inferno-incident can't have endeared Sexy to Donna.

She shouldn't have taken it out on her fellow innocent victim! (Or her fellow innocent victim's hair-colour.) She should have taken it out on THE DOCTOR, treacherous murdering scumbag that he was.

A more imaginative use than usual of the TARDIS seems to be a running motif in the Moff's stories

Not in the ones he wrote for RTG...at least, not unless you include 'opening the doors by clicking your fingers'...(Oh alright, that was quite a cunning way to dispose of the Angels now you mention it.)

Who was it who once said "we kids want Narnia, not the wardrobe"?!

WE WANT BOTH!

How often has the Doctor thumped or abused the TARDIS in the past... DOCTOR WHO - WIFE-BEATER!!!

I've been saying THAT from the moment Eccy first wielded a hammer...

I think Emily now needs to change the title of this board to "Sexy"

OVER - MY - DEAD - BODY!

Why did we never get to hear Sexy's perspective on "that time I got sucked into a planet by some giant woodlice"?

Because it was too bloody boring for her even to remember...?

"Who was it who once said "we kids want Narnia, not the wardrobe"?!

"WE WANT BOTH!"

It was... oh, what's his name? The dark-haired Scottish chap who stopped coming to Tavern a few years ago. Used to write 'Press Gang' or something...

Why is this discussion under 'original series'? Is there no Sexy TARDIS in the new series?!!

Don't think I hadn't noticed how the TARDIS synopsis is now more concerned with New Who than Old. Likewise Sarah now seems more of an SJA person than an Old Who one. And say 'Benny!' and you think (well, I think) audios rather than books. But that was when they were introduced and so that's where they're staying. And much as I love to give the new series credit for EVERYTHING...you can hardly give it credit for THE TARDIS. Especially as I prefer the way it looked in the Good Old Days...

Less female, more blue boxy?

Well, that too. I was more thinking 'white console room', but never mind...

So The Doctor's Wife claims that deleting a TARDIS consciousness would blow a hole in the universe. What about all those TARDISes that no doubt blew up during the Time War?

Who says they didn't blow a hole in the universe?

Or maybe it's only type 40s.

Or maybe it's only his because, let's face it, it must be the most experienced TARDIS ever. Time Lords presumably only used them for temporal maintenance or delivering messages (except for that inexplicable Time Lord in Terror of the Autons), so the Doctor's has seen far, far more than any others (possibly but probably not excluding other renegades').

Who says they didn't blow a hole in the universe?

Me. We'd've noticed.

Or at least, the Doctor would have thought twice about blowing up his own people if it meant blowing a hole in the universe too.

Or maybe it's only type 40s.

Or maybe it's only his because, let's face it, it must be the most experienced TARDIS ever.

Ah, but I got the distinct impression that House removed the soul of EVERY TARDIS before eating 'em. To be on the safe side.

Time Lords presumably only used them for temporal maintenance or delivering messages

We HAVE been assuming that, yes...but come to think of it, the Doctor probably isn't the only Time Lord who wants to have sex with his TARDIS...

Maybe that's the REAL reason TARDISes are supposed to have six pilots. So they can chaperone each other.

Keith in New Series: Season Three: 42 section: When the Doctor gave Martha a TARDIS key I thought how boring it looked. IIRC the third Doctor had a rather unique looking key & wish they had gone with something like that.

It's been boring and Yale-looking for all of New Who and most of the Old. I think just some of the Three-Four era, plus maybe Seven had that beautifully elaborate alien one. Not like the New Series to miss this merchandising opportunity, someone drop 'em a line...

Come to think of it, what the hell was the Doctor doing, stealing Old Blue simply because her door was unlocked? Could he not PICK a lock or MAKE a key or something?

Probably. She was making it easy, though. She wanted to lure someone in.

I'm now wondering if the man-eating plants we saw in Invasion Of Time had been there before the Doctor stole the TARDIS.

TARDIS: My poor plants are hungry... Why don't I unlock my door & see if someone comes wandering in?

;-)

A background plan, maybe? If the relationship didn't work out, at least the plants would get fed.

'If there's no one inside, the TARDIS just shuts down automatically' - the Doctor, in Pandorica Opens. Since when?! Has she been sneakily shutting down in an environmentally-friendly manner EVERY TIME Our Heroes exit? Why does she dematerialise with no one inside in Android Invasion? Why is light so often shining through her windows?

Has she been sneakily shutting down in an environmentally-friendly manner EVERY TIME Our Heroes exit?

Only if she hasn't got stray policemen wandering around inside her. How many people have we seen enter but never leave?

Why does she dematerialise with no one inside in Android Invasion?

Because the Doctor needed to stay where he was long enough to discover the androids. As always, she takes him where she thinks he's needed, and doesn't let him leave until she's satisfied with his work.

Why is light so often shining through her windows?

Part of her disguise, and it makes it easier for the Doctor to find her in the dark. Sometimes, she might use the lights to lure in suitable companions too, among other gambits. Was the Doctor really needed in Highlander, or had the Tardis just decided she wanted Jamie on board?

The conversation about the TARDIS in the junkyard in 'Timewyrm: Exodus' does beg an interesting question: Why did the TARDIS choose to disguise herself as a police call box at that particular time? A functional police box in a junkyard would indeed attract a lot of unwanted attention. Becoming an old refrigerator, or a pile of rusted steel drums, or a broken down water heater, any junky stuff like that would have been a much better camouflage.

I can think of two possible reasons. First, the chameleon circuit was probably already on the verge of failure, so the TARDIS choose a geometrically simpler shape to immitate, instead of the complex irregular shapes of must junky items. Second, because the chameleon circuit was about to fail, and the TARDIS knew it, she chose to risk being stuck in the shape of a police box instead of an old rusty fridge. I'd say that was a good call on her part.

Since the Tardis has some foresight, she'd have a decent idea what being stuck in any shape permanently would be like. She'd know she needed to be easy to find in an emergency, and not too disturbing for the strays she could sense the Doctor would pick up.

That still leaves a lot of possibilities - a London bus with obscured windows, a 16 foot high cat statue with a door between the front paws, a grandfather clock - but they'd all be a bit out of place on the scrapheap, apparently in pristine condition.

There is a fanfic describing just what the Tardis was thinking when she chose that form - http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=42792 - which suggests the chameleon circuit isn't really faulty at all: the Tardis just realises things will go better if she keeps the same form all the time.

That's a charming little story, I like it a lot. Yes, I can see how the TARDIS always retaining the same shape would be a big help for the Doctor.

Did you have the curiosity of looking up the suggested article on FOOF? I did, here it is, it's hilarious.

http://pipeline.corante.com/archives/2010/02/23/things_i_wont_work_with_dioxygen_difluoride.php

Yes, nice story, though the TARDIS thinking of Companions as friends and people doesn't exactly gel with Doctor's Wife's mention of STRAYS.

Little trivia question. In The Eleventh Hour, the TARDIS rebuilds and extensively redecorates her inside after the rather explosive regeneration of the Doctor. But, she also adds a little something to her outside. What?

Colour. Moffat wanted the bright blues of the Cushing films.

No, that's too general, and the TARDIS has always been blue anyway. I'm talking about something a lot more specific.

Are you looking for the St. Johns ambulence sign on the right-hand door???

Yep!

This demonstrates, btw, that the chameleon circuit still works, or she would not have been able to make even that small change.

The St. John's only demonstrates the cameleon circut works partialy, not that it is completely fixed.

Remember that that ambulance logo was there in the early stories though. The TARDIS design hasn't been consistent throughout the years, so the Cameleon Circuit must have occasional hiccups.
http://www.themindrobber.co.uk/tardis-police-box.html

Remember also that the chameleon circuit war repaired, in Attack of the Cybermen I think. The result was not exactly as the Doctor expected though, and in the end he returned her to the shape of a police box, but we have no reason to believe she could not assume any desired shape. It's just that the only shape she appears to want to assume is that of a 1963 London police box.

He didn't return it to the police box so much as it just seemed to kick back into place. At least that's how I always read it.

Moderator's Note: Moved from New Series: Season Seven: The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe:

Speaking of Amy's house, the Doctor parked the TARDIS right in front of it. Is it conceivable that neither Amy, nor Rory heard it arrive? Mickey and Jackie heard it from much farther away, Mickey even heard it over the din of full blown garage work.

It's interesting when Sexy chooses to telepathically beam the noise of her arrival into your head (Christmas Invasion, Torchwood: End of Days) and when she doesn't (all the rest of the time)...

I can understand why she'd want to announce her arrival to Mickey and Jacky, but why would she alert captain Jack in this way if it's only to run trillions of years into the future in a panicked attempt to shake him off after he grabs onto her?

Weeeeell...maybe she WANTED an excuse to get to the year 100 trillion and reunite the Doctor with the last surviving member of his species. Maybe she thought the Doctor and the Master would breed her a lovely little Time Lord baby as, judging by Little Ms Pond, she was getting SERIOUSLY broody by now. Obviously THAT particular plan didn't quite work out...

Alternately, she sensed the return of the Master, not being half as bound to linear time as her thief, and decided to arrange matters for the best possible outcome, from her perspective.

If she hadn't gone to the year 100 trillion, the Master would still have returned, somehow - the whole universe knows he's indestructible - but without the Doctor being on the spot, he'd have had years to prepare his revenge, much worse than what actually happened. However, if she'd gone to the year 100 trillion without Jack, her thief would have ended up stuck there - no vortex manipulator - and again apocalypse would follow.

No, the best course she could see was abducting Jack, so her thief could stay on the Master's heels. To human ears, this may sound absurdly complicated, but remember, the Tardis does not think in human ways, as demonstrated by some of her attempts at communication.

and decided to arrange matters for the best possible outcome, from her perspective.

I don't think anyone would enjoy being turned inside-out to become a Paradox Machine. (Albeit one who recovered from her ordeal with remarkable swiftness.) And OK, the Doctor had done baaaad things to her involving hammers and attempted-floodings, but an entire YEAR as a geriatric being forced to eat from DOG-bowls is a bit of a harsh punishment.

If she hadn't gone to the year 100 trillion, the Master would still have returned, somehow - the whole universe knows he's indestructible

Oh, I think poor darling old Professor Yana could have kept the Master in his place. If Martha hadn't come along and opened her big gob.

However, if she'd gone to the year 100 trillion without Jack, her thief would have ended up stuck there - no vortex manipulator - and again apocalypse would follow.

INCREDIBLY clever of Sexy to realise the Manipulator was actually working, given that CAPTAIN JACK didn't (see his behaviour when stuck with a bomb in Doctor Dances).

remember, the Tardis does not think in human ways, as demonstrated by some of her attempts at communication.

*Bitter look* That godawful Edge of Destruction can be used to justify ANYTHING. Sexy's behaviour there makes the Wheel in Space Cybermen plan look sane...

Who's first director on the TARDIS designer, in DWM: 'Yeeessss...Quite frankly, he didn't care a jot for Doctor Who. He thought the show was a load of bollocks. The TARDIS interior was just a hexagonal control panel which he literally threw together in an afternoon. He then gave me three flats with circles in them and said, "That's your ship." He couldn't be bothered thinking about it...'

A Real Police Box compared to a 1963 TARDIS and a 2010 TARDIS.

Interesting. So why WAS the First Doctor's TARDIS so much smaller than the Real Thing?

Maybe because the TARDIS designer couldn't be bothered thinking about it?

I think that was just the INTERIOR designer...

This might give you the answer to your question.

Note:not all police boxes are the same size, design, or even color.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3avd8xwzzCk&feature=related

Also note: This is something I've never tried before--if it doesn't work--coul you remove it please Emily???

Okay--that seems to work.

You might also find this useful--the Tardis has changed somewhat over the years.

http://www.themindrobber.co.uk/tardis-police-box.html

Note: I'm not sure if anyone has posted these links here before--but this might answer your question.

I think that was just the INTERIOR designer...

Yeah. A better reason would be that whoever built that first TARDIS prop worked from pictures of a police box instead of taking the time to go in the field and measure the thing.

Well they could hardly expect that the show would be watched by rabid fanatics who would make a big deal out things like that.

Jep, please use the newurl formatting next time. That creates a new window so I can keep reading NitC while waiting for videos to load.

'The gift of the TARDIS hangs around' - Angels in Manhattan. THAT is an EXCELLENT throw-away line that might just be Steven Taylor's, and Vicki's, salvation. Though I don't see how it fits in with the TARDIS needing the Doctor to be part of the circuit in Christmas Invasion. Or with Ace-in-Love-and-War being unable to understand a word anyone said the second she dumped the Doctor.

don't see how it fits in with the TARDIS needing the Doctor to be part of the circuit in Christmas Invasion.

The Tardis doesn't just dump a dictionary in the companion's brain; it actively translates for them, keeping up a psychic link with the ex-companions across time and space long after the Doctor has abandoned them - as long as it likes them, anyway.

Naturally, when the Doctor is regenerating, the Tardis is too distressed to do this. She does have a symbiotic link with him, making him in some ways a part of her, so regeneration will be very stressful for her.

Or with Ace-in-Love-and-War being unable to understand a word anyone said the second she dumped the Doctor.

The Tardis can withdraw her gift if she decides the companion doesn't deserve it, or if the Doctor asks her to nicely.

She does have a symbiotic link with him, making him in some ways a part of her, so regeneration will be very stressful for her.

Especially when, as in this instance, the regeneration process doesn't go as smoothly as it should.

keeping up a psychic link with the ex-companions across time and space long after the Doctor has abandoned them

I just don't find this easy to swallow. THE DOCTOR, our hero, nay, god, abandons people on alien worlds and scarpers, never to give 'em a second thought again, whilst his extraordinarily alien timemachine lovingly uses his brain to keep their lives happy, even though the only time she mentioned 'em she referred to them resentfully as 'strays'?

as long as it likes them, anyway.

I suspect she only likes you if you're pretty, and you only count as pretty if you've got a nose as big as Rory's.

Naturally, when the Doctor is regenerating, the Tardis is too distressed to do this. She does have a symbiotic link with him, making him in some ways a part of her, so regeneration will be very stressful for her.

Especially when, as in this instance, the regeneration process doesn't go as smoothly as it should.

The regeneration process NEVER goes as smootly as it should! Funny she only ever helps along his FIRST regeneration then, isn't it. The rest of the time he's left to sink or swim. (Though this is QUITE understandable in Eleven's case, what with her being busy BLOWING UP and all.)

his extraordinarily alien timemachine lovingly uses his brain to keep their lives happy, even though the only time she mentioned 'em she referred to them resentfully as 'strays'?

Naturally. As you say, she's extraordinarily alien: you can't expect her to follow human logic. Any explanation of Tardis behaviour that made complete sense to you or me couldn't possibly be right.

I suspect she only likes you if you're pretty, and you only count as pretty if you've got a nose as big as Rory's.

I suspect she's more interested in the shape of your mind.

The regeneration process NEVER goes as smootly as it should! Funny she only ever helps along his FIRST regeneration then, isn't it.

How do we know that? Just because the Doctor doesn't give her any credit doesn't mean she wasn't helping. After all, can you imagine Six thanking the Tardis for his successful regeneration?

Naturally. As you say, she's extraordinarily alien: you can't expect her to follow human logic.

After Edge of Destruction I can't expect her to follow ANY sort of logic. Or sanity.

Any explanation of Tardis behaviour that made complete sense to you or me couldn't possibly be right.

Oh, I dunno - I think we all guessed the 'I always took you where you NEEDED to go' thing long before she spelt it out for the Doctor.

The regeneration process NEVER goes as smootly as it should! Funny she only ever helps along his FIRST regeneration then, isn't it.

How do we know that? Just because the Doctor doesn't give her any credit doesn't mean she wasn't helping. After all, can you imagine Six thanking the Tardis for his successful regeneration?

No, but we SAW the TARDIS be part of the regeneration in the TRAGICALLY BRIEF remnants of Tenth Planet part 4, whereas we didn't see anything of the sort in all the OTHER regenerations. (Though maybe she was the one who beamed all those whizzing heads of Companions into poor Davison's mind to give him the strength to go on? It would be TYPICAL of the TARDIS to accidentally include the Master...)

(Though maybe she was the one who beamed all those whizzing heads of Companions into poor Davison's mind to give him the strength to go on?

Very likely. Two's regeneration was managed by the Time Lords and Four had help from the watcher instead, so the Tardis wouldn't have been involved. We never saw Eight regenerate, so he could have had floating heads for all we know. As for the rest, they may simply have not needed that kind of encouragement. The Tardis might have helped in some less flashy way.

http://www.doctorwhonews.net/

Hmm. Not sure, but think it'll grow on me.

I know there were banks of equipment along the walls in the black n'white era, but personally I feel that controls should be on the console.

Not sure I love it exactly, but I think I do prefer it to the current one.

Feel the same way about his outfit.

Since I'm seeing so much of this picture on Facebook, it's beginning to grow more on me. Both the output and the TARDIS harken back to the old days. He's the first new series Doctor to wear a fob. It gives him that 'out-of-time' that's been missing since the old series. The TARDIS appears to be much scaled down, back to old series proportions.

I like it. Sleeker, less visually confusing, less wasted space. And the Doctor's new outfit makes him look more "Doctorish" somehow.

Both the output and the TARDIS
er, 'outfit.' I think I've been in Korea too long.

I think both look great and is a wonderful throwback to past console rooms and costumes without going to fan-wanky with it.

Oh, very good! Nice to see a TARDIS console room that looks like one rather than an alien stomach or just weird for the sake of being weird.

The trend seems to be that old-time fans like it while those who discovered Who via the new series hate it.

I think it's important for viewers to remember how old The Doctor is. I'm glad to see that being reflected now in both costume and console room.

Just noticed the higher-rez version. Thought he was wearing a double albert chain, but now I see that he's wearing it backwards: the clasp is in his pocket and the watch is connected to the button. A little undermined by the fact that previous Doctors have worn them properly, but ok, it somehow makes sense for him.

Sorry to be so fob-obsessed. I wear one myself.

...and you smoke a pipe.... Where's the deer stalker hat?

Gareth Roberts in DWM:

'Frontier in Space drops a couple of nice hints for TARDIS followers. It seems that at the point just before materialisation at least, the TARDIS is travelling in hyperspace. This is just writer Malcolm Hulke's way of getting the story off to a good visual start, but in the way of accidents it would explain a lot. So, the TARDIS emerges from the vortex first into hyperspace and then materialises fully in normal space; which perhaps explains why it's always been so vulnerable at precisely this point, "the most dangerous part of any journey." Rather like the spaceships Empress and Hecate...the TARDIS' defences seem to be down in those few moments...the materialising TARDIS almost gets Time-Rammed by...Zanak. Perhaps those scanner views of 1963 London and Uxarieus can be accounted for; they are the view form hyperspace...'

But IS there any view from hyperspace? And, OK, Romana isn't exactly a Type 40 expert ('It isn't my forte') but would she STILL have thought hyperspace was a 'theoretical absurdity' (Stones of Blood) if this was the case?

And when did the Doctor say it was the most dangerous part of any journey?

And wouldn't beings capable of inventing indestructible time-machines (difficult as this is to believe when watching any Gallifrey-based story) also be capable of inventing basic hyperspace-defences?

Although it's now a long-established bit of Who lore and has been used to good effect in the new series, I've always wished they never started showing the TARDIS traveling that way. And Hulke didn't even need to. He could have just written that the TARDIS accidentally materialised in space rather than on a planet.

It was Susan who said it, btw. Or rather, she said that materialising was the most dangerous part of the journey (in Planet of Giants), which Roberts is taking to mean hyperspace.

It was Susan who said it, btw. Or rather, she said that materialising was the most dangerous part of the journey (in Planet of Giants), which Roberts is taking to mean hyperspace.

Ah! Thanks. Really must watch my shiny new PoG DVD sometime...

The Doctor gets ELDRAD to input Sexy's coordinates in Hand of Fear (well, OBVIOUSLY it's in Hand of Fear, it's not like ANY of the spin-off media bothered getting Eldrad back for a rematch)?? I'm sure I watched/listened to/read only the other day the idea that only REALLY TRUSTED people could do THAT.

Also...: 'If you've mis-set those coordinates, symbiotic resonance will occur in the Trikoid Time Crystal and if that happens, there'll be no chance of us landing anywhere, EVER. Ever. Ever' - yeah, maybe you should have checked the coordinates BEFORE rather than AFTER she set 'em. Cos it's a bit late now.

And come ON! Are you SERIOUSLY trying to tell me that NONE of the eleven Doctors, Tegan, Romana, Donna, Adric, Leela etc etc EVER mis-set the coordinates??

Also...TRIKOID TIME CRYSTALS?

'Magic blue box, all donations gratefully accepted, give us your dosh' - the Doctor in The Bells of Saint John. Is is just me, or is Sexy's Thief PROSTITUTING her out for CASH for his and Clara's breakfast, instead of doing the decent thing and robbing the nearest cashpoint with his sonic? Who the hell does he think he IS? No wonder Sexy decides in Rings of Akhaten to slam her doors in Clara's face ('I don't think it likes me').

Cold War:

OK, so what exactly is the POINT of the HADS if they relocate Sexy THOUSANDS OF MILES away? And why is Ms Indestructible so scared of a bit of seawater, anyway? She coped just fine with it in Time Meddler.

Hide:

OK, so what's happened to the hatstand? Is it a massively significant sign that something drastic and fundamental is happening to Sexy? Or that the Doctor is mysteriously losing his memory? Or...um...not?

'The TARDIS is like a cat. A bit slow to trust, but she'll get there in the end' - ahhh, bless!

Not that I've ever noticed her being slow to trust with anyone before Clara.

'Let me in, you grumpy old cow' - Clara is SO dead. More to the point, the TARDIS DOES let her in. Something she's never done when locked in the last thousand years, to my knowledge.

Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS:

'It's an appliance, it does a job' - Clara. Well, if the TARDIS isn't pissed off with her, I AM.

Why doesn't 'basic mode' include any bloody SHIELDS? Hasn't the Doc learnt from, well, EVERY OTHER time he's taken 'em down? No one wants a repeat of Horns of Nimon.

How come a brain-dead Baalen brother can rip a panel off Sexy just like THAT, but - with the Doctor's life at stake - poor old Rose had to employ the servies of a Big Yellow Truck?

'Whatever you require, this system will build it' - well why has it shown NO signs of replacing Hartnell's food machine, then? Poor darling Eccy had to waste HALF HIS PITIFULLY BRIEF LIFE nipping back to Earth for milk.

So the heart of the TARDIS is suddenly made of metal rather than, as in Season 1/27, tendrils of light?

Not that I've ever noticed her being slow to trust with anyone before Clara.

She did knock Ian and Barbara unconscious the first time they got on board, for reasons never explained.

Why doesn't 'basic mode' include any bloody SHIELDS?

Ask the Tardis designers, back on Gallifrey. They're the ones who decided on the features on basic mode, not the Doctor. If they were typical Time Lords, who'd never left the planet, that could explain quite a lot.

well why has it shown NO signs of replacing Hartnell's food machine

She doesn't think he really needs one, and it would give her less opportunities to take the Doctor where he's needed. Every time he visits Earth to stock up on milk is a chance for her to drop him in the middle of an invasion.

So the heart of the TARDIS is suddenly made of metal rather than, as in Season 1/27, tendrils of light?

Ask the Doctor that, and he'd probably look at you funny. He certainly wouldn't see anything strange about having two hearts: no Time Lord would.

How come a brain-dead Baalen brother can rip a panel off Sexy just like THAT, but - with the Doctor's life at stake - poor old Rose had to employ the servies of a Big Yellow Truck?

To be fair, the TARDIS wasn't exactly at the top of her game when the brother ripped off that panel. And she did manage to kick him out of the control room after that. I wonder if she sent him on the path of that time zombie on purpose.

The TARDIS goes to the trouble of growing Angie - aka the stroppy brat who called her a 'stupid box' - a new mobile phone in Nightmare in Silver WHY, exactly?

Luke Smith lost SIX MOBILE PHONES in the cause of planet-saving and NEVER ONCE did Sexy bother to replace ANY of 'em.

And I've been waiting since I was THREE YEARS OLD for the ••••• to whizz me off round time and space and she just can't be bothered...

Baby Emily: "Goo Goo Ga Ga, TARDIS!"

Maybe if Emily wished hard enough, the TARDIS would hear. The TARDIS is sentient, after all.

I've been wishing with all my heart and soul since I was THREE YEARS OLD.

Wishing works for bloody Madge Arwell, WHY DOESN'T IT WORK FOR ME???

Maybe she's giving you what you need instead of what you want.

You have mentioned some health issues that could impact how long you survived as a companion.

Remember:only 2(or 3, not sure if I should count Smith) have had a companion die--and neither of them is a favorite of yours.

Maybe she's giving you what you need instead of what you want.

Well, THAT sort of paternalistic nonsense is a perfectly fine way to treat the DOCTOR, but I'll thank the bossy blue clock-melting halfwit to allow ME to make my OWN decisions.

You have mentioned some health issues that could impact how long you survived as a companion.

Not if I had the sense to stay in the TARDIS all the time they wouldn't.

Or, of course, the Doc could take me to New Earth to get the oochies to sort out my hip problems in NO time. Not wanting to sound like a profiteering scumbag like Adam Mitchell, but I don't share Amy's OR Abigail's reluctance to ask the Doc for a lift to hospital.

Remember:only 2(or 3, not sure if I should count Smith) have had a companion die--and neither of them is a favorite of yours.

I wouldn't include Smith - dying of old age only counts if you're aged to death by a Dalek time destructor or something.

Oh look *sigh*

Independent Article About Greedy Git Trying To Steal Our Sexy

What an amazing coincidence that the dear chap has only decided to get his (thirty-six-years-dead!) father the 'public recognition that should by rights always have been his due' just when HE happens to be in a position to financially benefit...

To be fair, his mum has been trying the same thing for the past thirty-six years. I'm not sure that he has a case, as Coburn was a) only contributing to a general effort and b) a member of the BBC staff until shortly after he was commissioned for Serial A.

On the other hand, he has a slightly better case than the chap who claimed that he had invented Davros for a 'design a Doctor Who monster' competition in 1972...

Don't know if you have the same laws in the UK, but in the US they have what's known as "work for hire" laws that cover this sort of thing. In essence, Coburn provided his design work for the BBC and was paid for it as part of his salary; he has no rights to the "copyright" of the TARDIS (which the BBC has already proved in court after being sued by the Metropolitan Police). Coburn the Younger doesn't have a leg to stand on, especially as Coburn the Elder got his idea after walking around and spotting a police box.

To be fair, his mum has been trying the same thing for the past thirty-six years. I'm not sure that he has a case,

NOT SURE he has a case after THIRTY SIX unsuccessful years...?

as Coburn was a) only contributing to a general effort and b) a member of the BBC staff until shortly after he was commissioned for Serial A.

Plus c) didn't have Moffat's mother-in-law as his agent...

Coburn the Younger doesn't have a leg to stand on

LITERALLY, if I ever get my hands on him...

"in the US they have what's known as "work for hire" laws that cover this sort of thing"

This concept doesn't exist in English law, so you'd probably have to look at what Coburn's original staff contract said in terms of his intellectual property.

We do know that when Coburn was re-contracted to write Serial A on a freelance basis, the terms specified that various bits of the series belonged to the BBC. In general, writers for the classic series got to own everything that they brought to the table except where otherwise specified*. This led to all sorts of problems when the Amblin TV series bible proposed remaking lots of classic series stories without bothering to ask their original writers...

I imagine that Coburn's claim rests on any quirks or omissions in the wording of the contract. For example, the contract couldn't specify that the BBC owned the TARDIS, because Coburn hadn't actually coined the word "TARDIS" at the time it was drawn up!

Why is this guy wasting his time with this. His father has been dead for almost forty years now, it no longer matters either way.

Why's he wasting his time? Money, why else...

Considering his father had 14 years between the events in question and his death, during which time Terry Nation had secured control of the Daleks, and Kit Pedler managed to get enough control of the Cybermen to at least get his name mentioned every time they've been used in the new series, if not money paid into his estate, well, sorry, thanks for playing.

---
We do know that when Coburn was re-contracted to write Serial A on a freelance basis, the terms specified that various bits of the series belonged to the BBC.
---
Which would presumably include the original four characters and the Tardis, being vital to the entire concept of the programme.

"Considering his father had 14 years between the events in question and his death, during which time Terry Nation had secured control of the Daleks, and Kit Pedler managed to get enough control of the Cybermen to at least get his name mentioned every time they've been used in the new series, if not money paid into his estate, well, sorry, thanks for playing."

Er, no one "secured the rights" to or "get enough control" of these things - that's not how IP rights worked on the old series. They never gave the rights away in the first place.

"Which would presumably include the original four characters and the Tardis, being vital to the entire concept of the programme."

As I say above, I think the reason he's focusing on the TARDIS (as opposed to the whole format of the series) is that the contract probably didn't specify it, and definitely wouldn't have done by a name that didn't exist at the time it was drawn up! There's a potential loophole there and he's picking at it.

I think he's misguided and has no serious case, but I'm surprised that there isn't even a low-level sympathy from fandom over this one. Would we get the same "Waaaah! He's trying to take our toys away!" reaction if, say, Chris Boucher sued to get Leela back*?

(* There is a precedent for this, as Peter Grimwade sued the BBC over 'Turlough and the Earthlink Dilemma'. Which is ironic, given that he *didn't* create Turlough!)

I think he's misguided and has no serious case, but I'm surprised that there isn't even a low-level sympathy from fandom over this one

Steve put it best when he mentioned that schmuck who thought he created Davros. It's stupid when someone shows up decades later and says, "By the way, I create (insert character name here), I want the millions that's owed me." Why wait so long?

This guys father is long dead, it doesn't matter. Even if there is an Afterlife, I doubt said father is there fuming about how the BBC stole the TARDIS from him.


There is a precedent for this, as Peter Grimwade sued the BBC over 'Turlough and the Earthlink Dilemma'. Which is ironic, given that he *didn't* create Turlough!)

No doubt Emily will wonder why anyone would want to sue about that.

"Steve put it best when he mentioned that schmuck who thought he created Davros. It's stupid when someone shows up decades later and says, "By the way, I create (insert character name here), I want the millions that's owed me." Why wait so long?"

The family haven't been waiting that long. They've already made several attempts to sue.

Also, there's a lot of publicity around about Doctor Who's 50th Anniversary, so if have a Who-related grievance and you want to bring it to public attention, now is the ideal time to raise it.

---
Er, no one "secured the rights" to or "get enough control" of these things - that's not how IP rights worked on the old series. They never gave the rights away in the first place.
---
I'd say that they did give them away, simply because no one really thought of keeping control of them. It's the same reasoning as why the missing episodes got junked - at that time, people in tv were used to working in theatre, especially rep, where most things are essentially disposable and replaced by the next thing through in something like a couple of weeks. Had people tried to claim ownership as part of their contract, they'd either have not got the job in the first place, or been given a much lower fee for that piece of work.

It's only when certain properties became very successful, even iconic (the Daleks and Cybermen in particular) that their creators staked their claims.

Now a days, mainly thanks to people like Terry Nation, and especially George Lucas, those kinds of rights are much more heavily nailed down in contracts (the work for hire clauses), which is why RTD gets his name on the end of The Doctor's Wife for creating the Ood, and Nick Locarno changed his name to Tom Paris between the Star Trek: TNG episode "The First Duty" and Star Trek: Voyager, so Paramount didn't have to pay the writer of the TNG episode for using the character in Voyager, despite him being played by the same actor and having the same basic personality and background.

---
Would we get the same "Waaaah! He's trying to take our toys away!" reaction if, say, Chris Boucher sued to get Leela back*?
---
Probably to start with (before all the facts came out), but if he was entitled to her character, then eventually, no.

---
The family haven't been waiting that long. They've already made several attempts to sue.
---
And, as such, if there were any real validity to their claim, they would have had the rights by now - let's not forget that the BBC won in court against the Metropolitan Police (in a case brought by the Met) for the design of the Tardis, which gained a decent amount of publicity at the time, and the result would certainly would have been available to any halfway-competent lawyer.

I just thought of something. The TARDIS has a translation circuit, so people hear the languages they are used to. When visiting ancient Rome for instance, the romans hear the visitors speak latin and the visitors hear the romans speak english (or whatever their native tongue is). Written language is similarly translated. But if someone was using a recording device, like a camcorder or a cell phone, would the languages also be translated on the recording, or would they play back in their original form?

And would the TARDIS translate the sound of a tree falling in the forest?

Of course, this whole TARDIS translation thing was just a way to get around the problem of everyone speaking English, even on other planets or other times.

Star Trek did the same with the concept of the Universal Translator.

At least Who and Trek came up with reasons why this was.

Then there are shows like the Time Tunnel, where the characters can arrive in the middle of the Trojan War and everyone they meet speaks modern English (with no reason given why).

At least Who and Trek came up with reasons why this was.

EVENTUALLY.

You'd think Barbara, as a history teacher, would at least have ASKED...

Sarah Jane never asked, when she did, the Doctor immediately knew she'd been hypnotized.

Comments in Logopolis about the TARDIS made me think of something. The Doctor, and presumably his TARDIS, spent a lot of time on Gallifrey during the Time War. Now, she is an obsolete type 40, so the Timelords would not have been too happy for the Doctor to use such an antiquated piece of hardware. They might have let him keep her though, because he IS the Doctor. Still, they probably would have given her a complete refit so she would be in tip top shape and perform reliably during the war, which would have included fixing, or even upgrading the chameleon circuit. So, did they, or didn't they?

No.

They didn't even give the fighting-on-the-front-line Doctor a new regeneration cycle (despite magically being able to blow such things around like fairy-dust) so they sure as hell wouldn't have given a second thought to poor old Sexy.

Plus, the Hurt/Eccy/Tennant/Matt/Capaldi TARDISes are...BLUE BOXES. Working chameleon circuits are an abomination mercifully restricted to the Colin Baker Era.

---
Comments in Logopolis about the TARDIS made me think of something. The Doctor, and presumably his TARDIS, spent a lot of time on Gallifrey during the Time War. Now, she is an obsolete type 40, so the Timelords would not have been too happy for the Doctor to use such an antiquated piece of hardware. They might have let him keep her though, because he IS the Doctor. Still, they probably would have given her a complete refit so she would be in tip top shape and perform reliably during the war, which would have included fixing, or even upgrading the chameleon circuit. So, did they, or didn't they?
---
Maybe there wasn't time (pun kind of intended).

Alternatively, either the Doctor, or possibly the Tardis herself rejected the upgrades, especially if they were weapons. Or she was upgraded, and in the time since the time war, she's been slowly consuming the ones she doesn't want and returning herself back to how she wants to be - she could be like someone who got a tattoo when they were young, and now, in old age, they could get potentially rid of it, but they don't because it's a part of who they are.

So the chameleon circuit may have worked during the time war, but now it's over, she broke it again because she's comfortable being the police box, or it's how she was in peace time, before the time war (hmm, now maybe there's an episode, bring back Surrane Jones and let's have the Tardis's view of the time war).

Or perhaps there's something in the Type 40's make-up that made it too difficult to upgrade, and the Doctor refused a new one (or there simply weren't any new ones available).

Or there was something that meant the Daleks found Type 40s, or even just the Doctor's one, more difficult to destroy compared to newer versions - perhaps an active chameleon circuit weakens the outer shell slightly (and the Daleks would almost certainly have added something to detect active chameleon circuits to stop the Time Lords sneaking in when they're not looking), whilst with the circuit stuck on police box, the Tardis is actually more resistant, although not invulnerable, to anti-Tardis weapons.

The top of the time rotor being covered in a thick layer of dust during several 1970s stories iss pretty alarming - I can just imagine the conversation in studio:

AFM: Can we get the cleaner on set to polish the time rotor?
SFX union rep: Oi! The Tardis console is SFX. Demarcation! Touch that and we'll walk out and close the studio.
AFM: OK, please can you clean the time rotor then?
SFX union rep: We're SFX, we don't do cleaning!

Actually, Judi, that's not too far from the truth.

Until Margaret Thatcher was elected, and cut them down to size, the Trade Unions could raise such havoc in Britain.

Moffat in DWM on the new TARDIS (the old one having been replaced ENTIRELY because the move from Upper Boat to Roath Lock made creating a new TARDIS at least as easy as dismantling the old one...!!):

'The thing about the old TARDIS that I was regretting slightly, although it was lovely in many ways, was that it was a bit whimsical, and really the biggest surprise that you can have when you walk inside the TARDIS is that it's a non-nonsense machine. Sometimes I've been guilty...of drifting away from the idea that it's not...a magic box...It's a machine, and that's somehow more exciting...you'd expect to find a whimsical spaceship inside a police box. What you wouldn't expect...is the cockpit of a super-advanced space-time machine.'

Excellent point that never occurred to me.

But I STILL prefer Matt's insane magical interior to his utilitarian one.

Emily, in 'Listen': Bear in mind that - judging by Edge of Destruction - she's PATHOLOGICALLY INSANE at this point.

Hmm. Could that be why she was on the scrapheap when the Doctor met her?

Nah. The Time Lords merely thought she had a knackered navigation circuit (and probably a few other such things). If she'd tried any crazy mind-tricks on THEM they'd've been having her put down rather than repaired.

Though given Deadly Assassin's mention of the wholesale slaughter of all her Type 40 sisters, at SOME point SOMEONE realised they weren't the most stable model in the universe.

Pretty sure I've read somewhere that the TARDIS was absolutely seen as a magic door or Narnia-style wardrobe by the original creators of the show. It was just a means of getting somewhere. The Chase and DMP are probably the only exceptions to this in the early years, and neither are timey wimey but just a faster sequence of magic door adventures.

Regardless of what it may signify within the narrative, it's still only a storytelling device. So is the sonic, purely a mechanism for moving the story along and making great leaps of exposition with a quick scan.

The TARDIS now has this - ® - symbol beside it officially as both "the TARDIS®" and "Doctor Who®" are registered trademarks of the BBC.

Very sensible. The Time Lords forgot to put a trademark on their Sexies and the next thing you know, the Daleks are roaming the universe in a cheap knock-off...

I choose not to believe a lot of things after 1989. For instance, TARDISes are certainly not grown. When Romana stays in E-space, K-9 says he has the plans to build a TARDIS, should they want one. Omega says the 5th Doctor has destroyed his TARDIS but he'll build a new one. And regularly parts break and are replaced or even interchanged on TARDISes.

When Romana stays in E-space, K-9 says he has the plans to build a TARDIS, should they want one.

Uh, Judi, I don't remember K9 saying any such thing at the end of Warrior's Gate.

For me the best console is the original model, as seen from AN UNEARTHLY CHILD to INFERNO... It's a wonderful piece of design, and always seemed much more substantial than the replacement consoles. And I loved the way that the glass column rotated...

But it's GREEN for heaven's sake!

Still think we need to rename this board "Ol' Sexy"...

But it's GREEN for heaven's sake!

And what's wrong with green?

Still think we need to rename this board "Ol' Sexy"...

Tempting as that is, it might possibly give newbies the wrong impression...

And what's wrong with green?

Nothing whatsoever is wrong with green for, y'know, things that are SUPPOSED to be green, like grass and Doctor Who monsters.

But Sexy's console always looked so...white! Cream at the very least. We have been DECEIVED.

Husbands of River Song:

Sexy can't take off if the same lifeform registers as being inside and outside at the same time? Shouldn't that cause more problems in multiple-Doctor stories, not to mention when you have more than one Brigadier (or whoever) about the place?

'OH MY GOD! it's bigger...on...the inside! Than it is...on the outside? My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown into the air, and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constant of physical reality has been changed...forever. Sorry. I've always wanted to see that done properly.' - DAMMIT, as soon as you see this scene you REALISE that we've all been waiting for it...for fifty-two years.

Talking of green, there was a green and white police box parked outside one of Sheffield's old town hall for years, next to the public toilets.

It was a different shape to the Tardis, as well as a different colour, which caused a certain amount of childhood confusion.

What kind of freak paints their police box GREEN AND WHITE? I bet you weren't the only traumatised child.

If you can stomach the sight, there are pictures of this abomination online.

http://www.alamy.com/stock-photo/police-box-sheffield.html

Eek!

Well, at least it's SO different from a REAL Sexy in shape as well as colour that you can't have harboured TOO many hopes...

I'm surprised it didn't turn up in a BBV production.

Looks like a shed.

"Doctor, who uses that TARDIS?"

"My cousin. Calls himself the Gardener. Carries a sonic shovel."

you can't have harboured TOO many hopes...

True. Mainly I was confused about why it was that colour and shape, so unlike the Tardis.

Eventually though, my parents explained it was just another example of the way Thatcher's Tories down in London liked to keep all the best things for themselves, fobbing the rest of the country off with third rate junk. (This was the 80s).

Whilst one can only approve of your parents' political beliefs, unfortunately I find myself in a state of outraged fury at them daring to call The Abomination 'third rate junk'. (I realise there may possibly be a slight contradiction in this reaction.)

It might just be that the classic police box design is (or was) owned by the Metropolitan Police and other forces either had their own design ideas or didn't fancy the Mets much.

Tom era books claim the key still has a telepathic element and only works for people the Doctor has OKed.

Have the vague feeling I very nearly remember this - do you know which books?

Anyway, wouldn't that make it all the more disgusting that Davison was happy to leave all HIS Companions to be slaughtered outside the sanctuary of the TARDIS rather than let 'em have keys of their own? Rather undermines Nyssa's (already frankly pathetic) attempt at an excuse in the Heroes of Sontar audio ('He's only thinking of our safety...Some people would stop at nothing to get their hands on a TARDIS key.')

Or does Davison just not have the telepathic knack?

If the Daleks got their hands (tentacles, whatever) on a TARDIS key, I'm pretty sure they could break through this sort of security system with ease.

Presumably the Daleks could break through even WITHOUT a key, I mean, the Time Lords did in (I think) Deadly Assassin AND Invasion of Time, and if THOSE losers could manage it...

Didn't the commander in Assassin get in with a key? I distinctly remember some overacting (with full arm movement) in putting a key in, as seen from the TARDIS viewscreen.

Or is that not how he actually got in?

Due for a rewatch, and for once that's a good thing.

From a transcript of the episode:

SPANDRELL: The barrier on this model is a double curtain trimonic, so you will need a cypher indent key to get in.
HILDRED: Very good, Castellan. I'll send for one.
SPANDRELL: After you have arrested the personnel, impound the machine.
HILDRED: Of course, Castellan. Will you want me to question the
SPANDRELL: Eventually, yes, but not on a Presidential Resignation Day, Hildred.

[Tardis]

DOCTOR: Presidential Resignation Day!

[Records room]

(Spandrell interrogates the computer.)
SPANDRELL: Data retrieval. Request information on all Type Forty TT capsules currently operational.
COMPUTER: Negative information. Type Forty TT capsules are deregistered and non-operational.
SPANDRELL: Report number of de-registrations.
COMPUTER: Three hundred and four.
SPANDRELL: Report number of registrations.
COMPUTER: Three hundred and five.
SPANDRELL: Report reason for numerical imbalance.
COMPUTER: One capsule removed from register. Reference, Malfeasance Tribunal order dated three zero nine nine zero six.
ENGIN: Can I be of any further help, Castellan Spandrell?
SPANDRELL: One minute, Engin.
(Spandrell taps his communicator brooch on his glove.)
HILDRED [on screen]: Commander Hildred, Sector seven.
SPANDRELL: Malfeasance, Hildred.
HILDRED [on screen]: Malfeasance?

[Gallifrey - sector 7]

SPANDRELL [on screen]: The occupant of your Type Forty is a convicted criminal. Approach with caution.
HILDRED: Very good, Castellan. Set your stasers.
(The guards draw their hand weapons and adjust the setting.)

[Tardis]

(On the viewscreen, a guard brings Hildred a box containing various keys with which to try and open the Tardis.)
DOCTOR: I must get past them and warn the President.
(He opens a part of the console which is a small writing desk, and takes out a pen and paper. After writing a note, he gets a small Gladstone bag from another room and takes a hookah pipe from it.)
DOCTOR: Cash and carry, Constantinople.

[Gallifrey - sector 7]

(Hildred succeeds in unlocking the Tardis.)
HILDRED: Right, follow me.

There was a wunnerful moment on one of Julian Clary's quiz shows where they claim the Doctor travels in a "policeman's box" which is apparently slang for something.

Random question, but when was the last time someone referred to the TARDIS as "The ship"? I'm not talking about ironic back reference to it like we got in Twice Upon a Time. I'm assuming it didn't make it out of the Hardball era so was it deliberately dropped or just new writers not using it?

'Well, it's all those years of bigger on the inside, You try sucking your tummy in that long' - AT LAST, Sexy gets a bit of sympathy and understanding from her Thief!

'This whole place could do with a good dusting' - though not for long. And since WHEN has she not had some perfectly-sufficient self-cleaning mechanism?

And since when was she PERFECTLY steerable in the Hartnell era if only he'd known HOW?

Doctor Who: Every Reaction to the Tardis Since 2005

Since 2005?

Wimp!

He had enough trouble making this one. Apparently, the BBC kept flagging many previous versions for copyright violation.

Quite right too, you don't want us Fans getting above ourselves, it's not as if we kept the flame burning for The Sixteen Long And Barren Years Of Despair and then brought Who back in blazing triumph...

Uh, it was RTD that did that.

He IS a fan.

Well, this is fitting.
From doctorwhonews.net...

"Sunday, 21 October, 2018 - Reported by Marcus

Scientists working on NASA’s Fermi Gamma-ray Space Telescope have named a Gamma Ray Constellation TARDIS in tribute to The Doctor's Time and Space machine.
The Fermi Gamma-ray Space Telescope is dedicated to exploring gamma-ray radiation, the most energetic form of radiation, billions of times more energetic than the type of light visible to our eyes. The team is investigating what is happening to produce this much energy and what happens to the surrounding environment near these phenomena?
To celebrate the mission’s 10th year of operations, a new series of constellations, constructed from sources in the gamma-ray sky, have been created, including ones based on the antimatter-powered U.S.S. Enterprise from Star Trek, the Hulk, the product of a gamma-ray experiment gone awry and the TARDIS, the Doctor's preferred method of transport.
The Femi team is using knowledge gathered from their observations to look for mechanisms that, like the TARDIS, defy the known laws of physics. By searching for cracks in current theories, the scientists hope to expand and improve their understanding of the universe.
Julie McEnery, the Fermi project scientist at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland said."

'Second hand, huge mileage, one careless owner' is the best description of Sexy EVER, though it's astonishing that a) the Doctor's still under the illusion that she OWNS the TARDIS, even after said TARDIS rather pointedly tipped her out to DIE and b) you're being pretty blase about the mileage given that the TARDIS is a terrible polluter who rips holes in the fabric of the universe with every journey.

Also, JODIE! keeps calling her 'it', which is upsetting. Now that you're FINALLY girls together you ought to be relishing your new understanding, not neutering the poor darling.

The Watcher's Guide to the TARDIS in DWM: Blimey, it never OCCURRED to me that maybe that cringe-making running-out-of-air fiasco in Planet of the Daleks was because at the moment 'there's next to nothing beyond the control room'. As an added bonus unmentioned by the Watcher, that would also explain why she'd suddenly taken to having fold-out beds in the console room...

Another thing that totally failed to cross my mind was that 'The TARDIS interior was constructed and dismantled countless times, cheerfully getting bigger or smaller depending on the available space and the requirements of each story: in tales where the control room plays a bit part, such as Inside the Spaceship or The Three Doctors, it's huge. In stories featuring just a quick peek into the control room to set the scene, like The Keys of Marinus or The Curse of Peladon, it's tiny.'

Well, it was a set, after all.

A set?

A SET??!!!

Oops!

I said a bad thing!

Well it IS a set. Get over it!

Furthermore, Doctor Who is a television show with actors, writers and film crews. It's not real.

Why are you SAYING these things!

It's an alien plot, Emily. Tim and Rodney are being mind-controlled.

That WOULD be the most reasonable explanation, thanks!

No mind-control here, just the facts, ma'am.

The problem is that those of you who are mind-controlled don't realise it, which is very annoying for the rest of us because Eldred must live.

---

quote:

A pessimist sees the TARDIS fading away. An optimist sees the TARDIS materialising. The realist sees a police box. The Doctor sees three idiots where he wants to land.

---

Unfortunately, "Inferno" has led to many people thinking the console is meant to be green in-universe.
It's meant to be white. It was painted a pale green so it would show up as white on 405-line B/W television sets.

IIRC and this may be a Benthamism and/or Hainingism but painting it actual white would have caused the cameras to flare.

Bookwyrm: 'Incidentally, did you know that police boxes in Glasgow were red until the popularity of Doctor Who meant that they were all painted blue in the late 1960s? This is particularly impressive for a programme that was broadcast in black and white' - Sexy ROCKS.

Blimey, it never OCCURRED to me that maybe that cringe-making running-out-of-air fiasco in Planet of the Daleks was because at the moment 'there's next to nothing beyond the control room'

A brilliant theory blown to bits by Legends of Camelot in which our darling RTG coral-model totally runs out of air when it runs out of energy despite having loads and LOADS of rooms (alright, so we never actually SAW any of 'em in said era but that's not the POINT)...

Don't the novels say there are whole forests or fields or something of that sort? You know, things that would produce oxygen.

I think the cloister room was supposed to be like that, but the realisation on our screens was...lacking.

Don't the novels say there are whole forests or fields or something of that sort? You know, things that would produce oxygen.

Yup.

I was watching a SciShow video that had nothing to do with Dr. Who, but was about Emily's other lord and master... cats.

Particularly cats habit of climbing in boxes, or things that look like boxes, or just the illusion of boxes.

Thinking it over I thought, "Maybe the cats are thinking, 'That look like a TARDIS landing spot?' and lie there hoping the Doctor will materialize around them?

I'm also imagining Emily laying down a square of tape around her computer chair... just in case. ;-)

The TARDIS is sentient. Guess that makes her a Companion.

At the very least.

Probably she's actually the main character and the Doctor will ultimately be revealed to be HER Companion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fosxiJqb37U

The BBC should have an open contest to come up with the next design for the TARDIS interior. I might even put in an entry, if that ever happened.

Gorgeous. If all rather dark.

heelsvsbabyface can be a controversial youtuber that reports on Doctor Who, superheroes, Star Trek, etc., but if you check out this video at the beginning, you can see what is supposed to be a leaked image of the new TARDIS interior.
If it's real, it's a massive improvement over some of the recent ones.
IF it's real, that is...
You Brits have an advantage over the rest of us, having first-looks at this sort of thing in your media, so you might have already seen this.

https://youtu.be/t_DCttLqBWI

Kind of went overboard with the roundels there.

I do agree that the pure white motif looks very pleasing, a lot more "tardissee" than the more recent versions. I also agree that a touch of color would have been welcome, maybe give the roundel lights a muted blue tint, something subtle like that.

OMG.

Don't like it AT ALL but then come to think of it I wasn't that keen on Eccy/Tennant's and JODIE!'s either. A TARDIS interior doesn't make or break my happiness the way a Doctor does...

Steve - heelsvsbabyface can be a controversial youtuber

The channel is called Heelvsbabyface, the presenter is called Az. It's a very common mistake, though.

The console room, if true, appears too big & with too many roundels. Some color would have been nice.

Why does modern Who want to do ginormous console rooms? So they can get the entire cast and crew in one selfie?

I preferred the 'cozier' control rooms where it didn't look like they were preparing to march an army onto the set.

I prefer it to the recent ones because it's bright and clean and futuristic, and not dark and junky like Thirteen had.
And Twelve.
And Eleven.
And Ten.
And Nine.
And Eight.
I was so over the dimly-lit interior, and mish-mash of parts on the console that I like seeing an 80's-style, serious control panel for a change. It HAS been 34 years since we've seen THAT type of console, after all.

We've never seen THAT type of console.

And War had 'the round things', as did Clara.

One Doctor out of the past 6? And just for a very few minutes?
And as for Clara...ugh. Doesn't count. It's called 'Doctor Who', not 'Clara Who', and I seriously doubt we'll EVER see her and TARDIS again, thankfully.
The console looks sleek, for a change. It's closest relative would be from season 20 to 26, and for me it's long overdue.

One Doctor out of the past 6? And just for a very few minutes?

But said minutes include Tennant n'Matt WORSHIPPING the round things!

This article leads me to believe that the white TARDIS console room that was "leaked" will not be the one used in the coming season. I'll let you guys make up your own opinion about that. I am quite intrigued though.

Really? Cos 'this impossible, logic-defying set, which no one in their right mind should ever have even drawn in the first place' sounds EXACTLY like the thing we saw.

What if it's like... Susan's or Romana's or the Master's or the Toymaker's or a new Time Lord's?

Really? Cos 'this impossible, logic-defying set, which no one in their right mind should ever have even drawn in the first place' sounds EXACTLY like the thing we saw.

But the article implies that no one, outside of the team working on it, has seen what it looks like as of now. There's no indication that anything about it has leaked anywhere, so I don't think the white TARDIS interior is it.

One can hope, but maybe the interview occurred before the leak...?

Jeri Ryan in the TARDIS:
https://imgur.com/a/l3bAME4

Jeri Ryan plays Seven of Nine in Star Trek: Voyager and Star Trek: Picard.

There's something fundamentally wrong about a Trekkie in the TARDIS and I'm disappointed Sexy didn't realise this and try to shake her off, a la Captain Jack in Utopia...

The Star Beast:

Why would the TARDIS regenerate? WHY?

And if you're going back to classic-white...DON'T colour in the roundels.

Still, very, VERY impressive.

Aside from the lack of sprinklers.

And she REALLY didn't think the 'coffee' thing through, did she.

The TARDIS is an amazing box, bigger on the inside and fond of her Thief.

She's also always taking him and his strays into danger and has no problem expelling the Doctor while exploding or running off and leaving the Doctor to face impossible odds with no way out and the aid of a mere human.

She makes a lovely Roman Sculpture and allows herself to be carted off by UNIT soldiers on occasion.

She may or may not spend her vacation time sitting on a rock at the edge of a sea while civilizations are built around her.

She may or may not spend her vacation time sitting on a rock at the edge of a sea while civilizations are built around her.

That's actually a beautiful concept.

She may or may not spend her vacation time sitting on a rock at the edge of a sea while civilizations are built around her.

That's actually a beautiful concept.

The Doctor describes this scenario to not-Donna after the TARDIS has abandoned him and his stray on a dangerous spacecraft.

Wild Blue Yonder:

The TARDIS plays loud songs at people?

The Doctor and Donna call the TARDIS 'it'?

The TARDIS...floats around instead of materialising properly?

'She's the only thing I've got left' - well, on the plus side she's FINALLY a 'she' rather than an 'it', but why are you saying that to DONNA? You'd chuck Sexy into a Dalek furnace to save that woman, SHE'S what you've got left...

'If they become completely us, the TARDIS will come back for them' - you don't think Sexy can...spot the difference?

you don't think Sexy can...spot the difference?

Apparently not, seeing as she let notDonna inside without giving any warnings - unless it was the TARDIS who decided to show the Doctor that notDonna's finger was the wrong length, rather than him deciding to check.

I think she DID give warnings, there were lots of bright scary orange symbols on the screen that the Doctor was looking at that I'm fairly sure tipped him off as to Evil-Donna's identity, regardless of what he CLAIMED about spotting *checks transcript* her wrist having an extra 0.06 millimetres...