Left feeling rather cheated. That a so-called series is only 107 minutes long. That it's Earth bloody Earth again (with bloody stone circles again). That Ace spends her time childish or hypnotised. That Our Heroes were conveniently rescued from certain death by Braxiatel popping up for no readily apparent reason. That this Juliet Landau person is still pretending to be Romana III and not making a very convincing job of it. That everything's been done before - the Gallifreyan plots against Romana, the jettisoning of bits of TARDIS to escape, the exact same plot Omega tried in Three Docs - and that it ends just as there's the promise of something vaguely original, Omega running round in our universe. (Um...not sure HOW he's doing that, now you mention it. He just...jumped into someone's body. Somehow. Without biodata extracts or rice crispies or ANYTHING.)

So, um, Ace is suddenly on Gallifrey as a CIA agent with her own TARDIS but can't remember how, when or why? How...convenient.

So 'Every day, everything changes - even your own history...timelines flux and wither...It's our job to make sure we change with them...That's what we do on Gallifrey. We make a difference' - since WHEN! (And way to take the tension out of everything. Anything that happens that you don't like, you've got carte blanche to nip back and rewrite it. Unless the entire universe explodes, of course. Naturally, this IS claiming that the entire universe is about to explode, it's a shame I've got pretty bored of that sort of thing. Though not as bored as Romana sounds about the whole business.)

'Consider it part of your training - work it out' - but Ace is already the CIA's best agent, why does she need TRAINING?

Romana can't be seen to stop the anomaly even though it'll destroy her people. Oh, and the whole of reality. So worrying about discretion seems a wee bit pointless, in the circumstances.

Isn't it bad enough that, post-Parting of the Ways, we're somehow supposed to believe that the Doctor's got everything in the universe running through his head, all the time? NOW the Time Lords are experiencing every alternative of every moment AS WELL?

'Our world had enjoyed many years of peace and harmony' - SERIOUSLY? Romana II must be well and truly dead, then.

And III's coming to the end of her last presidential term? Since when has she obeyed mere laws when it comes to ruling Gallifrey? What about that time she declared herself Imperiatrix? What about that time she was deposed, arrived home from another universe in the middle of an election, and just BECAME PRESIDENT as everyone just forgot about the whole 'election' and 'deposed' things?

Romana is shocked to hear that the Anomaly is centred on Earth and caused by a Stellar Manipulator. I know Narvin's been keeping her out of the loop (though I still have no idea WHY) but could she not have shown a little more INTEREST in the imminent destruction of the universe? (Mind you, THIS Romana sounds like it would take more than the end of the universe to get her to TAKE AN INTEREST. About once an episode she delivers a sharp and decisive line that has me YEARNING for the REAL (i.e. Second) Romana and the rest of the time she's just some dozy stranger.)

'If I'd known it would take this long [to get to the Shrine of Pandak] I'd have taken a TARDIS' - you don't use TARDISes to get around the Capitol! And since when has Gallifrey had shrines?

'You wouldn't hit a woman' - does Gallifrey have social mores like that? Especially when you can have a regenerative sex-change? And, y'know, she IS trying to kill the guy at the time. And threatening to murder his President.

'Do you really think I wouldn't realise you were following me' - QUITE. Narvin's thick but he's not THAT thick, especially when the guy who's trailing him is helpfully narrating the entire experience aloud. What WAS Romana thinking? Hasn't she got any genuine spies she can use? Or a bug? It's hilarious that the Time Lords literally can't think of a single way of identifying who, if anyone, is an Adherent of Ohm. (At least until they discover a Hedin medallion which IS a bit of a give-away even to their gormless little minds.)

So you learn that your President will be assassinated within the hour and you rush off to the Panopticon to warn her...don't these people have PHONES?

'Reality is hanging in the balance. You must go alone. And not use Time Lord technology. In case it leaves a trace that may result in a paradox' - UH? Which bit of REALITY IS HANGING IN THE BALANCE are you just not getting? Who the hell cares if a few Time Lord traces are noticeable? Above and beyond the OPERATIVE STELLAR MANIPULATOR. And why would this cause a paradox? Haven't we just been helpfully informed that Time Lords rewrite history EVERY DAY? And who are they scared of being spotted by?

'The Agency didn't have any Earth rags to spare' - Narvin's TARDIS doesn't have a wardrobe?

Romana can just chat to her field agents (on another planet, in a different timezone, on the event horizon of a black hole or something) whenever they feel like it? Why did she not have any conversations with, say, Leela during her Jago & Litefoot excursion?

Alright, so Narvin can't use his staser on the locals in case it causes a paradox (have I mentioned - UH??!!) but does he have to be TOTALLY unprepared to get grabbed by them and thrown down a pit?

If you thought THE DOCTOR was a bit too seeped Earth culture, at least HE'S got an excuse. For the human-despising Co-ordinator of the Celestial Intervention Agency to say 'Here's another fine mess you've gotten yourself into' is just embarrassing.

What's all this 'Ace is the Vessel' nonsense when OF COURSE Omega will need a Time Lord vessel?

Leela betrayed Romana and broke her hearts? WHEN!

Narvin shoots Rexx and then stands around while he regenerates and continues with his fiendish universe-destroying scheme?

Omega claims to know the Vortex better than any other Time Lord. Well, THAT doesn't make sense, does it. If they only started travelling through said Vortex AFTER he blew up a star and got trapped in his anti-matter universe...

Oh look, now he's doing his tired old 'I'm happy to destroy the universe if I can't escape' routine. Like we haven't heard THAT before. (Come to think of it, we've had all the Stellar Manipulator stuff before as well, with Morbius in the Eighth Doctor audios.)

'There is no way of rescuing me - there never was' - Omega's changed his tune, hasn't he.

Romana knows how to jettison ALL the non-console rooms of the TARDIS?

Romana says it 'doesn't matter' if the TARDIS dies as a result? Charming.

Romana and Narvin decide that there's no way out - they've got to sit in their dead TARDIS's console room and run out of air. Why not try to GO OUTSIDE? Or rig up distress call with the sonic screwdriver? Or blow on some TARDIS component to bring the whole thing back to life?

It's only thanks to Gallifrey Base I have a clue who that final SHOCK CLIFFHANGER! voice belongs to. So not the most effective of SHOCK CLIFFHANGERS!, then.

Not that I'm saying this is BAD. Well, no worse than any OTHER series of Gallifrey audios, anyway.

Anyone get the impression that Ace isn't merely some human agent living on Gallifrey - that she's BECOMING A TIME LORD? (And tipped by the Doctor to become either President or a Renegade, to boot.)

Nope, me neither, but that's what The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield claims.

And not a Chameleon Arch in sight.

And no mention in all those previous let's-have-a-civil-war-over-letting-aliens-into-the-Academy Gallifrey audios that said aliens might actually BECOME Time Lords...

So you learn that your President will be assassinated within the hour and you rush off to the Panopticon to warn her...don't these people have PHONES?

In War Master: Anti-Genesis, when Narvin comes puffing into President Livia's office to reveal, um, whatever hideous catastrophe has hit Gallifrey THIS week, she does say 'You could have called' and of course he's got some 'All comms were blocked' excuse but I don't remember the Master broadcasting his Absolutely Final Message I'm Really Dead Now, Honest note to block up the comms in Intervention Earth.

Also, the guards had those comms stuck to their gloves in Deadly Assassin that seemed to work just fine even if literally nothing ELSE about Gallifrey did at the time...

The whole universe is against the Time Lords? Why and since when has the whole universe HEARD of the Time Lords?

'We are everywhere' - the Adherents of Ohm. Since when? Why didn't they mind Omega turning off the lights and nearly destroying their civilisation in Three Docs? Why didn't they give Hedin any back-up in Arc?

Why is Ace racistly referred to as 'our pet human' when Gallifrey never had the guts to say that of LEELA? (Sure, Leela has a knife but Ace has Nitro-9...)

Nice of thingy's bodyguard to TELL Romana's spy (yeah, can't be bothered to remember any names) that she's gonna gun him down. In public.

'I pray that it won't be' - pray to WHOM, Romana? (You audios mercifully not following the NAs' Time-Lords-worship-the-Goddesses-Pain-Death-and-Time nonsense.)

So mean of everyone to just assume Ace is the idiot who's blowing up stars with the Hand of Omega. (Honestly, you blow up ONE ART-ROOM...)

Three Time Lord minds (the President's included) aren't enough to stand up to Omega but once ACE joins in...?!

Time Lords are suddenly saying HOURS instead of spans and microspans?

Why are the primitives so happy at the prospect of DESTROYING THE SUN to acquire some 'glorious darkness'?

Three Time Lord minds (the President's included) aren't enough to stand up to Omega but once ACE joins in...?!

Well, she could have provided the little extra power the three Time Lords needed to shift the balance in their favor. Or, introducing an unfamiliar human mind in the conflict may have confused Omega enough for his adversaries to gain the upper hand, maybe like a left handed fighter can have a decisive advantage over adversaries used to fight right handed ones.

introducing an unfamiliar human mind in the conflict may have confused Omega enough for his adversaries to gain the upper hand

Though you'd think it would confuse Romana, Narvin and Lukas AT LEAST as much as Omega - it was THEIR minds her petty human mind was attempting to make CONTACT! with. (And without even any headbutting or gazing adoringly into each others' eyes...insofar as you can tell on audio, anyway.)

Time Lords are suddenly saying HOURS instead of spans and microspans?

I didn't know when I was well-off.

I'm pretty sure Susan's just said 'microbes' in Susan's War.

Time Lords are suddenly saying HOURS instead of spans and microspans?

They're referring to 'minutes' in Blood of the Time Lords, set just after Deadly Assassin, so I s'pose it's more a matter of suddenly switching between different time-measurements rather than suddenly adopting Earth's for no readily-apparent reason.

(I shouldn't complain too much, Britain still can't decide between metric and imperial measurements and as a result I'm quite bad with both...)

Time Lords are suddenly saying HOURS instead of spans and microspans?

They're referring to 'minutes' in Blood of the Time Lords

And yet the use of 'minutes and hours' on a nameless alien world in Time War 5: Cass was taken by the Doctor and co as proof that there's something drastically weird going on.