Maze of Doom

Nitcentral's Bulletin Brash Reflections: Doctor Who: Novels: Thirteenth Doctor: Maze of Doom
Synopsis: 2028: the Doctor bids £4m for a molten bronze bull-headed Minoan temple guard/robotic killer, whereupon super-rich Panos and Penelope Polichroniadis nick it, there's a Minotaur loose in the London Underground, a cogwheel from an exploding engine in Ryan's eyeball, and a zombie horde accidentally unleashed by Graham in the Alps. The Polichroniadis siblings duly sacrifice themselves to blow up the Nimon spaceship teetering on the edge of the abyss to send the energy from their perpetual-motion machine back to the future from whence it was stolen.

Thoughts: 'Let's just say this is not my first Minotaur rodeo.' A long-delayed and somewhat flat run-around lacking the joie de vivre of Solomons' previous book. Or even of Horns of Nimon. 'Last time I was aboard a ship this quiet, it was the Marie Celeste' - Mary Celeste and there was nothing quiet about Daleks chasing people overboard. The Minotaur is faster than super-powered Ryan but slower than Yaz-dragging-a-wounded-man? The Doctor only speaks 'basic tourist Nimon'? Half the time aliens sound like they're from Yorkshire as a TARDIS joke?

Courtesy of Emily

By Emily Carter (Emily) on Sunday, May 24, 2020 - 5:47 pm:

JODIE!'s clown trousers are dungarees?

Gallifrey is 'far beyond the Milky Way'? (Not a nit just an addition to the ongoing debate about whether-the-hell Gallifrey is in our galaxy.)

'She could hop into a box-fresh bod' - what a cringe-inducing description of regeneration. Also, this places Maze post-Spyfall (before which the Fam seemed bizarrely pig-ignorant of regeneration) but it acts like Gallifrey still exists, what with the Doctor casually referring to a Time Lord's job.

'Something overloaded the engine causing it to explode, but the TARDIS muffled the blast' - well that's smart of Sexy given how that nuke in Gallifrey Chronicles blew her console room to smithereens.

'I love getting dressed up for a mission' - really, Doc, cos you signally failed to do so in, say, The Witchfinders (yes, am TOTALLY still holding a grudge about that).

Charles I was executed on the pavement not a platform?

'It's a double-cube. All the room's proportions are mathematically related to create a harmonious whole. The order is pleasing to the human mind, but it'll drive a Yeti nuts' - why would it drive a Yeti nuts?

'Yaz had come to recognise the Doctor's differing tones of voice. There was regular concern followed by deep unease, and then a level of fear that caused her to make light-hearted jokes' - and, later, 'The Doctor's breezy confidence was a sure sign that she was worried about the outcome of their current adventure' - is that TRUE?

None of the Fam notice Ryan has a sodding stone Nimon engine in his eyeball?

'I haven't seen this much Greek influence since that birthday lunch with Socrates, Aristotle and Plato. Which reminds me, Aristotle still owes me for the party hats' - since when would any Doctor charge for party hats!

'Before joining the Doctor, Graham had spent a considerable portion of his life sitting at the wheel of a bus just like this one' - judging by the picture, his bus would have been a LOT less futuristic than this one.

The Doctor didn't think of using the sonic as a Findotaur SOONER?

The Doctor would never refer to 'Da Vinci' rather than 'Leonardo'.

'"There's an old Sontaran saying," said the Doctor. "For every probic vent there is a thumb just the right size."' - since WHEN!

'It was probably all the adrenaline from the recent excitement, but rarely had he felt so full of energy' - Ryan can't SERIOUSLY believe that this is due to the recent 'excitement' when looking for the TARDIS loo is probably more exciting than this 'adventure'.

'It crossed [Graham's] mind, with no small measure of annoyance, that wherever they went in time and space everyone they met was invariably youthful and good-looking. Was that statistically likely? He wondered whether, as well as its translation field, the TARDIS might also exert a "handsome" field' - since WHEN!

Ariadne and Theseus used a ball of GOLDEN thread? I don't remember that ball of string in Horns of Nimon looking particularly golden?

'I tried something similar on Earth in 1938. Had a friend broadcast a radio play about a Martian invasion, called War of the Worlds. I was using it as a cover for a real Martian invasion by Ice Warriors' - um, that's not what Eighth Doctor audio Invaders From Mars said.

Ryan has an obsession with all things automotive?

'Yaz was pretty sure she'd glimpsed the mayor's number on his contacts list' - because OF COURSE Yaz has the 2028 telephone number of the London Mayor totally memorised.

Yaz calls the Doctor's running 'old and slow'?

'Despite its screen being shattered, her phone was still functioning' - wait, Yaz stopped to pick it up while being pursued by a minotaur and dragging a wounded man and, er, yelling for help instead of using said phone?

Plummeting lifts whose cables have snapped have safety measures that kick it to decelerate them to a controlled stop literally at the last second?

Ryan considers QUITTING the TARDIS cos he's been abducted four times? What a wimp.

'I spent an entire regeneration without a sonic screwdriver' - two, surely? One and Six.

None of the Fam wonder if THEY'RE around in 2028...

Those must be the slowest-shutting steel shutters EVER.

Um, so what happens to Graham's zombie horde?

The Doctor keeps Bessie in the TARDIS (with its WHO 1 numberplate, incidentally) since when? UNIT: Assembled said the Brig left it to Benton...

Sexy's sickbay is 'more of a cupboard'?

'Funny thing, myths. You start off with a bull-like intergalactic species crash-landing on Earth four thousand years ago, whiz it up in the Great Magimix of Time, and voila! You get a monstrous bull lurking in the heart of a labyrinth' - um, has the Doctor forgotten The Time Monster...?

'The air was breathable, although it smelled musty, having until recently sat undisturbed for thousands of years' - 4,000 years under the ocean - would it REALLY still be breathable?

'Yaz could only watch in horror' as...she and the Doctor were separated by a wall? THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

'She considered with some irony that, if there was one thing the Doctor had taught her, it was that the future wasn't set in stone' - so this is post-Orphan 55?

The Nimon had a record of their battle with Four, Romana and K9 NOW, exactly?

'Penelope was reluctant to leave the gun where they'd found it alongside the dead soldier' - if she wanted a gun why the hell didn't she carry a gun, she did, after all, consider herself above the law?

'Last time I encountered them, the Nimons had access to transmat technology for instantaneous travel, but I may have put them off using it, hence the old-fashioned starship' - weren't they all on Crinnoth when it went boom?

'I sent them into a black hole. Still feel bad about that' - since WHEN!

'If she could have read the Nimon script' - why the hell couldn't she read the Nimon script!

'Panos had rescued him from the crushing walls, and then he'd put paid to the bull creature. So why didn't Graham trust him?' - er...because Panos had double-crossed him and the Doctor and kidnapped Ryan? And had an underground lair full of experimental human subjects? Just a thought.

'Call it a design flaw, but imminent death is about the only thing that'll trigger a Time Lord's regeneration. I have to be here when the main drive explodes' - a) if you ARE here you'll get blown to bits AND NOT REGENERATE and b) surely you can summon up regeneration energy yourself by now?


By Francois Lacombe (Franc0is) on Sunday, May 24, 2020 - 7:22 pm:

Plummeting lifts whose cables have snapped have safety measures that kick it to decelerate them to a controlled stop literally at the last second?

Actually, no. The system in question prevents the lift from falling at all.

'The air was breathable, although it smelled musty, having until recently sat undisturbed for thousands of years' - 4,000 years under the ocean - would it REALLY still be breathable?

It depends on what sort of materials are present inside that ship, how well they can react with oxygen and absorb it. If it's mostly metals and ceramics, oxygen could linger for a long time. Plastics and other organics would be a problem.


By Emily Carter (Emily) on Monday, May 25, 2020 - 2:41 am:

Plummeting lifts whose cables have snapped have safety measures that kick it to decelerate them to a controlled stop literally at the last second?

Actually, no. The system in question prevents the lift from falling at all.


Ha!

'The air was breathable, although it smelled musty, having until recently sat undisturbed for thousands of years' - 4,000 years under the ocean - would it REALLY still be breathable?

It depends on what sort of materials are present inside that ship, how well they can react with oxygen and absorb it. If it's mostly metals and ceramics, oxygen could linger for a long time. Plastics and other organics would be a problem.


It's mostly stone.


By Francois Lacombe (Franc0is) on Monday, May 25, 2020 - 4:14 am:

It's mostly stone.

Then it should be fine.


By Emily Carter (Emily) on Monday, May 25, 2020 - 9:30 am:

You know EVERYTHING.


By Francois Lacombe (Franc0is) on Monday, May 25, 2020 - 2:28 pm:

I wish.


By Emily Carter (Emily) on Friday, June 12, 2020 - 10:03 am:

Yaz calls the Doctor's running 'old and slow'?

Well, she's running absolutely beautifully in Ranscoor...Kolos...Thingy, alright, not quite Ten-and-Captain-Jack-with-their-coats-flying-behind-them-in-Utopia standards of unadulterated bliss, but definitely Top Ten Doctor Running-Scenes material. SHE'S no penguin with its arse on fire.


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