Ms Foreperson fights the Time War because of course she does.

I guess this both confirms that Susan is indeed the Doctor's granddaughter, and that she is a proper Time Lord-Lady. Or was there still a debate about that?

*Groaning noises* •••• knows. She was no doubt old enough to get her head shoved into the Untemptered Schism but I really, really doubt that Hartnell had enough respect for female education to wait until Susan had graduated the Academy and achieved full Time Lord powers before grabbing her (plus the Nemesis, Hand and Cradle) and scarpering.

The Doc failing to give a •••• and look for Gallifrey after he retro-saved it looks even worse when his granddaughter as well as his dear old mum were playing Schrodinger's Oochie, doesn't it...

Gosh, will this resolve the mystery about Susan's late unlamented son's DNA? (An Earthly Child, Relative Dimensions.) Let's hope not, NO ONE CARES.

Stars Claudia Grant as Susan 2....

THEY WOULDN'T.

I mean, obviously they've got Beth Chalmers which is almost as bad, but I'm not even going to bother to scream about that, I just assume that Beth Chalmers is going to be in every single Big Finish audio.

Sphere of Influence:

Oh, so when exactly did Time Lords start scanning to see if you're a duplicate? Sometime after The Target Storybook: Decoy, obviously, where no one noticed the 'Doctor' was an Auton...Except that this is set in Eight's era and Decoy in the War Doctor's...

I suppose there's no point whatsoever in complaining that a bunch of half-wits - viz, the Time Lords - managed to design their TARDISes so that the capture of a single one of them would result in Gallifrey LOSING ALL POWER? Cos it would probably be more of a nit if they WEREN'T that stupid.

Susan is surprised and delighted to discover that Ian and Barbara got home and are together. Except that, when last seen (two minutes ago in Short Trip All Hands on Deck) she was living in Coal Hill in the twenty-second century, complete with an oak tree planted for Ian and Barbara - it was strongly implied, planted in memory of two teachers who'd been together and died (which they shouldn't have done anyway, incidentally, what with the whole immortality thing) not who'd suspiciously vanished off the face of the Earth forever with their own pupil, the filthy perverts.

Also, did Susan really never bother asking the Doctor about Ian n'Babs during her numerous unconvincing audio reunions with McGann? What a •••••.

NO ONE OMGs about meeting those heroes of legend, Ian and Susan. Rendering the fetching of Ian a bit pointless. (I mean, from a plot point of view, obviously it's delightful to hear him again.)

'If we're not doing this to protect EVERYONE from the Daleks then what ARE we doing it for' - Susan is shocked that Gallifrey might not protect the Sense-Sphere if it doesn't agree to give Gallifrey a hand? a) The Doctor WARNED her, hell, he used this sort of attitude to excuse why he was going all white-feathery while his granddaughter went off to war and b) When you're fighting a war for the whole of creation, YOU MAKE DIFFICULT DECISIONS. Leaving a planet which tells you it can fend for itself to fend for itself isn't a war crime, especially if the gits can SAVE YOUR ENTIRE PLANET - and aforementioned creation along with it - by putting in ten minutes' telepathic work BUT CAN'T BE BOTHERED.

God, it's embarrassing that the Sensorites are better at dealing with a Dalek invasion that the Time Lords - and indeed us humans - ever were.

Veklin says, re keeping Susan in the dark about the orbiting Battle-TARDISes, 'We were concerned the Sensorites would sense the knowledge in her mind.' So, er, you tell Ian all about them. A human without even the telepathic defences Susan can muster. Does it not occur to you he's gonna leave this room and move around an entire race of telepaths sooner or later? Hell, does it not occur to you there's a telepathic guard standing RIGHT OUTSIDE (despite being told that there's a telepathic guard standing right outside)?

'Many believed our policy of non-interference was sacrosanct' - only those cretins who'd never heard of the Celestial Intervention Agency (not-hearing of the Division is another matter, obviously, and doesn't qualify one for cretinhood) - 'but in the end we knew the right thing to do - we tried to destroy them before they were ever created' - but, um, that didn't work. Also, caused the Time War.

'Return to your quarters' - the Second Elder is talking really loudly for a Sensorite.

Would a lurking Sensorite-Dalek...thing really be able to seize control of a Time Lord mind - to the extent of turning her into an unwilling assassin? When she's undoubtedly got all possible barriers already up around her mind to protect her nasty little secrets from the Sensorites?

The Second Elder tells Susan to take Veklin back to Gallifrey for justice, and Susan says 'But she's not guilty' - irrelevant - instead of 'Oh •••• you're abandoning the alliance talks and kicking us out and now the cosmos will be destroyed cos all Gallifrey's power will be drained.' Or, y'know, words to that effect.

Veklin doesn't ask what the penalty is if she chooses to go for a Sensorite trial and is found guilty before volunteering to do so. (Pity the audio promptly forgot about this idea. A Hartnell-era courtroom drama is always fun.)

'And if we're caught you can deny all knowledge' Susan helpfully tells the Sensorite Investigator, you know, the one who LIVES IN AN ENTIRELY TELEPATHIC SOCIETY.

What does Susan cry when confronted with Daleks? It sounds suspiciously like 'Susan!'

Which bit of 'Ian - wait!' does he somehow not get?

GO First Elder, Chief Warrior and Investigator! When the hell did the dear old Sensorites discover equality between the sexes?

­...it was strongly implied, planted in memory of two teachers who'd been together and died (which they shouldn't have done anyway, incidentally, what with the whole immortality thing)

Well, maybe they didn't die, maybe they faked their own deaths and went away somewhere else to start new lifes under new identities. Being immortal would tend to attract much unwanted and tiresome attention after all.

Ah! Excellent point.

Though frankly you'd think being Head of Governors at Coal Hill when you look exactly the same age as when you were a teacher there fifty years earlier would ALREADY be attracting much unwanted and tiresome attention.

Still, if Babs n'Ian faked death and scarpered that might explain how the Weeping Angels managed to take over Coal Hill...

Aaaand, only today, RTG's Farewell, Sarah Jane gave us ample new evidence that Ian and Barbara didn't age, given that they turned up at Sarah Jane's funeral (conducted circa NOW, judging by how much everyone had aged) and there wasn't a zimmer-frame in sight...

The Uncertain Shore:

Oh gods it's Beth Chalmers, how could I not have realised it's bloody Beth bloody Chalmers, how did she disguise her hideous Beth-Chalmers-ness for the first ep, why can't she just leave me alone?

'You won't even tell me where you're from and why you're here' - so Veklin didn't give Monty her Cunning Cover Story? Or does he simply not believe it? I wouldn't blame him, what possessed them to pretend to be painters when VEKLIN CAN'T PAINT?

Veklin doesn't carry a gun because 'the important thing is that I die in character'? Wouldn't it be perfectly in character for everyone left behind to await a Dalek invasion to PICK UP A BLOODY GUN?

Veklin and Susan got here AFTER the blockade started? And no one noticed this somewhat gaping hole in their 'we just came here on holiday to paint' story?

And isn't there yet another hole in their 'We gave up our places on an evacuation ship for a family' story? Wouldn't Florana prioritise families over tourists? It's not like they have to worry about getting the tourist trade back after the Daleks have flattened their planet...

Veklin and Susan loudly discuss 'our cover' as 'two daft eccentrics' well within the hearing of the people they suspect are lurking in the relay station. Eventually Susan thinks to say 'Sh - someone might be watching' which is a step in the right direction even if ''Sh - someone might be listening' would make a lot more sense.

Faith re checking if Veklin is a Time Lord: 'If I shoot and kill you, you'll get better' 'If that's what it takes to convince you, just get it over with' - bloody HELL! Don't you REALISE that everything you are dies and a new (wo)man goes sauntering off in your place? Don't you realise that getting, say, shot in the head at close range will KILL you before you regenerate? Why don't you suggest she checks your hearts instead? (Of course, if I was Beth Chalmers I'd be BEGGING someone to shoot me.)

Aww, bless! If you've gotta canonise something from the annuals, then better the Anti-Dalek Force than John and Gillian...

I get that Susan and Veklin have been travelling together for a while, formed a bond, but for Susan to say that Veklin's 'Not dead - I'd know' is a bit weird. The whole of Gallifrey got wiped out without JODIE! batting an eyelid, after all.

Bit embarrassing for Faith to be outsmarted by an OGRON. Even one rendered more intelligent by the robotisation process (no, really).

So, er, what happened at the end? Susan shot Faith dead rather than try a rescue against overwhelming odds or let her be taken - as helpfully explained, whether she's the real Resistance leader or a Dalek spy they couldn't let her get aboard the Ogron ship. Fair enough. Then things abruptly get less logical as Susan assures everyone that it wasn't the real Faith she shot - how did she suddenly know? And then accuses one specific female aboard her TARDIS of being the spy and also a shape-shifter only I'm not sure a) how Susan knew and b) who the hell it is (not great with voices, also listening to this bit the day after the first half really didn't help. ACCENTS ARE YOUR FRIEND, Big Finish!). Something to do with them not maintaining their shape when they were unconscious? And what makes Susan so sure the spy followed them to the Sense-Sphere?

What is your problem with Beth Chalmers??? She's perfectly fine. I've heard far worse voices on these things....

Yeah, she'd be perfectly fine as Veklin if she'd only ever done Veklin. When she's done approximately fifty billion other Big Finish characters, her Mel-like tones get tiring, fast.

Yso....if I'm reading this correctly... you object to her so strongly not because she's a bad actor or has an awful voice, but rather that she's done too many Big Finish audios?????

If that isn't the height of pettiness.

I'd venture a guess that Messers Baker, Davison, Baker, McCoy and McGann have done more.....

you object to her so strongly not because she's a bad actor or has an awful voice, but rather that she's done too many Big Finish audios?????

If that isn't the height of pettiness.

I'd venture a guess that Messers Baker, Davison, Baker, McCoy and McGann have done more.....

Er, yeah, but they're all playing THE SAME PERSON. (Well, more-or-less...can't wait for Tom as the Curator!) It is right and proper that they sound the same every time.

But Beth Chalmers...she's fine as Companion Raine (if you ignore the hideous similarity to Mel). She's more-than-appropriate as Mel's Mum and Raine's Mum. She's fine as Ace's Mum. She's fine as Molly's Mum. But don't you think playing the mother of FOUR DIFFERENT COMPANIONS is taking the •••• a bit?

And she's fine as Commander Veklin. And Lady Vuyoki. And Taz. And Connie's mother. And Miss Merchant. And System. And Vaneesh. And Millicent. And the Galpan Captain. And Beauty Swanson. And the TV announcer. And the Pilot. And the Elevator. And the Scavenger. And Marion Clements. And Althya. And Maude. And Eada. And Zeron. And Sezhyr. And Zorya. And Tasja. And Mistress Pincham. And Lady Jane Mountville. And Saccostrea. And the Wirrn Queen. And Helene. And the Spider Queen. And Shill. And the Computer. And the Matron. And Kitty Donaldson. And Nurse Harriet. And Casey Carraway. And the Heliyon. And Hortense. And Myrtle Bunnage. And Mrs Tishpishti. And the Robots. And the Radio Announcer. And the Quizmaster. And Anna Burges. And Charlotte Henries. And the Djinn. And the Housemaid. And the actress-being-fake-Missy.

But...ALL of them put together? No. Just...no.

Of course, I'm bad at voices (not nearly as bad as I am at faces but still, pretty bad) and occasionally, extraordinarily I don't recognise her, in which case - fine! Great! If she was another Jake Dudman I'd have no problem with her popping up in EVERY Big Finish audio! I've nothing against her personally (except occasionally wondering what blackmailable materials she must have on Nick Briggs) I just CAN'T TAKE THAT SODDING MEL-LIKE VOICE PRETENDING TO BE LITERALLY DOZENS OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

It even takes me horribly out of the story when India Fisher plays one of those schoolgirls in Winter for the Adept. It's not like it spoils Winter for the Adept (cos that's shockingly bad anyway). It's not like it's anyone's FAULT (cos this was long before she'd been cast as Eighth Doctor Companion Charley Pollard). It's not like I think anyone should have said 'Ooh, we've found the perfect actor for the new Companion but she's appeared as someone else one so, ••••, let's go for second-best for a few dozen audios (cos that would have been stupid). It's just deeply, inevitably, distracting every time she opens her gob and that's not pettiness, it's just a fact.

Assets of War:

What's with this pointless and somewhat bizarre 'it's a refugee camp as well as a top-secret weapons-research base!' stuff? Don't recall anyone worrying about any refugees when the monsters got out. (Me included, frankly, by the time I got to the middle of this I'd completely forgotten the refugee-camp beginning.)

Why ask Susan to pry around in Orrovix heads to see if they'll do as they're told - seems like a job for your new Sensorite allies, not someone with incredibly rudimentary, untrained telepathic abilities.

Where was the Doctor when the Orrovix were being hunted into near-extinction? Too busy campaigning against Miniscopes because ZOOS ARE MEAN TO ANIMALS, probably.

'When Gallifrey called, I came. You had no right to call me, but I came' - no right? This does tend to imply she and the Doc were originally chased off-planet at staser-point (a la The Beginning Companion Chronicle) rather than the more usual explanation of 'God I was so bored' (War Games).

Rennis: 'You're still a Time Lord' 'Well, that depends on who you ask' says Susan. What the HELL? Please don't tell me SHE has some mysterious half-human hybrid past (as implied by her son's DNA)?

'There's a file a thousand years long on you' says Rennis to Susan. What the actual ••••? When did she LIVE those thousand years exactly!

Veklin's got a staser so why does she lunge for Rennis instead of shooting him?

'Who are we fighting for? The Time Lords or Gallifrey' asks Susan. 'Gallifrey of course' claims Rasmus - NEITHER of them mention THE COSMOS? Was I just being a naive fool when I BELIEVED TennantDoc that 'My people fought a race called the Daleks, for the sake of all creation'?

Why do her colleagues agree to Susan's stupid plan of NOT executing the war-traitor who plotted to unleash monsters on Gallifrey to rip everyone into little bits? I wouldn't have and I'm almost certainly less of a genocidal maniac than Rasmus or that git Vibax.

Shouldn't his victims have a say? Why isn't anyone asking Apanna? Last seen ripped-to-pieces-and-dead-AND-regenerating (*shrugs*) in the corridor? Sounds like they just LEFT her there. So much for that old friendship between her and Veklin.

So I was right. You are extremely petty.....

Tell you what - why don't YOU listen to the same voice pretending to be over fifty different people and then get back to me on this issue?

The Shoreditch Intervention:

We've already HAD Remembrance of the Daleks and the Class: In Remembrance audio and The Slyther of Shorditch short story and the River Song: An Unearthly Woman audio and the Time & Relative novella, I'm getting just a tiny bit tired of 1963 Shoreditch, to be honest.

Earth is time-locked since WHEN? (Presumably since AFTER Gallifrey: Intervention Earth, anyway.)

Blimey, how old does Susan LOOK, when her (Hartnell!) Grandfather looks like her 'older brother, maybe?' Maybe she did live the claimed thousand years after all but...WHEN?

Susan meekly hands over her time-ring to pay the Doctor's alleged debt instead of, say, defeating the old guy in hand-to-hand combat or trying to hypnotise him or something. (They really didn't bother training her for war, did they. She didn't even get sent to that stupid boot camp like the Time Lords tried sending the Eighth Doctor (!) to.)

(Anyway, said old guy was really a fearsome alien in disguise but Susan's not to know that, reading body-language isn't exactly her forte.)

'Her name is Alex' 'Well, that felt like a knife through my hearts' - awww, BLESS, Doctor, it's so sweet of you to pretend to give a toss about your late unlamented xenophobic moron of a great-grandson but let's face it, you're not doing a very convincing job of it.

You don't need to spell out every letter of your message as you input it, Susan, you're not FIVE.

'I had such a crush on Ian Chesterton' - since WHEN!

(Um, I should probably specify it's Susan talking, not the Doctor.)

Why does Susan bother making up a waffling cover story about being a space-train-robbing time-traveller fencing diamonds instead of just whipping out her sonic wand? It's not like she suspected the Daleks would have encrypted the control signal since the last time she used it against a roboman cos she's thick.

What kind of pathetic excuse for a Doctor responds to a 'Dalek victory has always been inevitable' statement with 'Do you know, I think it probably has'??

The Doctor says that no-trace-of-Hand-of-Omega-energy coming from the sarcophagus is proof that it's the Hand of Omega (with chameleon circuit) AND THE DALEKS BELIEVE HIM.

'Mrs Campbell' is such a weird and everlastingly wrong way of referring to a Time Lord.

The Doctor has a secret diary (presumably in addition to his 500-Year Diary) since WHEN?

A Dalek Dreadnought has no defences against people casually time-ringing their way in and out of it?

Also, since when has a time ring made you vanish into thin air instead of dancing and juddering around the place for a while first?

The Doctor's begging Susan to stay one minute and then contemptuously yawning in her face when she actually talks the next.

'Gallifrey should win this war, but we shouldn't lose ourselves along the way' - gosh, really, Susan? Thanks so much for those words of wisdom, truly, I feel so morally uplifted.

Can't Time Lords sense each other? Or can they not at least get five minutes' training on identifying the Replicas by their blinking? (Mind you, poor Susan HAD grown up with Barbara Wright blinking relentlessly at her, poor girl probably thought this was NORMAL.)

OMG! Alex is Ace's Mum Audrey! OMG!! (Is probably the sort of reaction they were HOPING for...)

Actually...just to confound Rodney...WHY WASN'T ALEX PLAYED BY BETH CHALMERS? WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST BETH CHALMERS, BIG FINISH? She played Audrey in OTHER audio episodes, why is she suddenly exiled from The Shoreditch Intervention? (Sure, she's in the same audio playing Commander Veklin but come ON! Like THAT would stop Big Finish! And this is one time that people WOULDN'T ruin the 'twist' by thinking 'Hey, "Alex" sounds exactly like Ace's Mum Audrey, could they be one and the same person?!' because practically EVERYONE in EVERY Big Finish audio is played by Beth Chalmers and they're bloody well NOT supposed to be the same person...(Oh gods Big Finish are going to do an origin story where Beth Chalmers was aboard that Terminus ship when it Big Banged the universe and spread her dulcet tones through space and time like a bunch of Clara Oswalds, aren't they. You heard it here first.))

(And by the way, if Audrey Alexandra Dudman hates the name 'Audrey' so much, why does she revert to it later instead of sticking to her middle name? It's not like 'Audrey' would sound less ghastly and old-fashioned as time went by.)

I think you are being way too harsh on the last episode. It's infinitely better than episode 3 and a lot more fun. I've actually just written my review left an Easter egg in there for you....

WHERE?

I'll post the link when it goes up....

And.....snigger snigger...... here is my review of this set.... Snigger snigger....

'We see Susan help the Time Lords to find a way to defeat the Daleks once and for all.'

We DO? Since WHEN!

'the equally ageless William Russell'

He sounds REALLY REALLY OLD.

Which is fair enough as a) he IS really really old and b) he still sounds like Ian.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Yes, I spotted the Easter Egg.

You'll be lucky if Big Finish keep supplying you with free audios, when you display THAT much sarcasm towards them...

Unless someone tells them about the review they'll never know!

Why are they giving you free audios if they're blissfully unaware of your existence?

In the midst of the Time War, Gallifrey summons Susan Campbell to serve the Time Lords...

Isn't her name Susan Foreman?

She married David Campbell and there are some suggestions that she bizarrely took his name.

Someone did a DW porn parody in the British fanzine Hace (the fanzine was named after the way Our Scottish Gnome said "Ace" on TV) in which Susan Foreman naturally gets renamed Susan Foreskin.

And people actually wonder why the Doctor finds humans so fascinating.

I don't think 'Because s/he enjoys our porn' is one of said reasons.

Though come to think of it, what do I know, Capaldi was desperate to keep his browsing history from Osgood...

Of course Natalie goes for a porn angle....

What is your problem with Beth Chalmers???

she's fine as Companion Raine (if you ignore the hideous similarity to Mel). She's more-than-appropriate as Mel's Mum and Raine's Mum. She's fine as Ace's Mum. She's fine as Molly's Mum. But don't you think playing the mother of FOUR DIFFERENT COMPANIONS is taking the •••• a bit?

And she's fine as Commander Veklin. And Lady Vuyoki. And Taz. And Connie's mother. And Miss Merchant. And System. And Vaneesh. And Millicent. And the Galpan Captain. And Beauty Swanson. And the TV announcer. And the Pilot. And the Elevator. And the Scavenger. And Marion Clements. And Althya. And Maude. And Eada. And Zeron. And Sezhyr. And Zorya. And Tasja. And Mistress Pincham. And Lady Jane Mountville. And Saccostrea. And the Wirrn Queen. And Helene. And the Spider Queen. And Shill. And the Computer. And the Matron. And Kitty Donaldson. And Nurse Harriet. And Casey Carraway. And the Heliyon. And Hortense. And Myrtle Bunnage. And Mrs Tishpishti. And the Robots. And the Radio Announcer. And the Quizmaster. And Anna Burges. And Charlotte Henries. And the Djinn. And the Housemaid. And the actress-being-fake-Missy.

Several weeks have passed since then so obviously she's popped up a few more times - as the bird-seed-seller AND the flower-seller from The Paternoster Gang: Heritage 3.

Do let me know, Rodney, when you admit Big Finish may have gone a bit overboard in the Beth Chalmers department so I can stop what I suspect will become a VERY regular update...

Nope- Imma gonna let you keep going. Beth is wonderful and actors need work at the moment.

Actors DO need work at the moment, which is why it's so annoying when all the work goes to just one actor...

Oh, so when exactly did Time Lords start scanning to see if you're a duplicate? Sometime after The Target Storybook: Decoy, obviously, where no one noticed the 'Doctor' was an Auton...Except that this is set in Eight's era and Decoy in the War Doctor's...

They've only learnt to spot the Dalek technology involved in duplications? Or since they've found how to spot a duplicate, the Daleks have had to reinvent new ways to create duplicates? The ones we saw in Resurrection had definite room for improvement.

The nostalgia in the first act of Sphere of Influence is nice, but then it turns into a pretty typical diplomatic mission story, replete with misguided would-be assassins.

They've only learnt to spot the Dalek technology involved in duplications?

Possible, though you'd think it would be easier to develop a is-it-a-real-Time-Lord detector given they've got access to more research material...

'Thank the Matrix you've arrived!'

Did they really need to deify the Matrix?

To be fair, the Matrix MUST have averted a hell of a lot of disasters (alright, not that we've ever actually seen the slightest sign of but DAMMIT that prophecy that got beamed into Tom's head in Deadly Assassin was spot-on) so it's understandable that you'd get into the habit of thanking it for stuff...if you didn't have anything better to do with your time and the Time Lords obviously DIDN'T.

Ian is OLD? Not according to SJA: Death of the Doctor and Big Finish's own Invention of Death he isn't.

*Sigh* I guess they're trumped by Power of the Doctor...

WORSHIP IAN! I just don't care how old you are, even if I devote the rest of my life to nitpicking your age...