A Matter Of Time
Carter: We can't help them.
O'Neal: Why not?
[as Carter] They're guest stars, not recurring characters.

(Jack is crawling up the rope away from the Stargate, when the bomb goes off and everything goes white)
[say] Thud!
because Jack will fall when the black hole's gravity is cut off

Callie! Can you change the name of this board to Stargate SG-1 MiSTings, since it only deals with this show?

Within The Serpent's Grasp
O'Neil and Teal'c have been captured and the Goa'uld is telling them their fate
Goa'uld: (to Teal'c) You shall suffer the most painful death of any Jaffar
[as Goa'uld] You will have to listen to Celine Dion sing over and over again!

Secrets
(When Jack is coming down the stairs, after meeting Sam's dad, there is a grey thing there.)
"Hey look it's a statue to Dumbo."
"Probably in honor of all those bombing missions he flew in WWII."

Touchstone
(Watching a blizzard on the planet of Madrona)
Carter: If this Blizzard continues, Madrona will be a write-off.
[as General Hammond] Yes! We don't have to pay taxes on Madrona this year!

Solitudes
Hammond: I've reported Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter missing in action.
Daniel: Why?
[as Hammond] Because they are, duh!


To hear is to obey, oh great one! ;)

Solitudes
Hammond: I've reported Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter missing in action.
[as Hammond] Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Know what I mean? Know what I mean?

Thanks. Sorry I forgot to add please to my request. (Especially after all the times I've said to my neice & nephews, "What's the magic word?")

A Matter Of Time
(The soldiers are running, one pulls back his sleeve to reveal the transmitter)
[as Power Rangers] It's morphin' time! Go galactic!

Thought that one up Saturday and only just remembered. Duh!

The Enemy Within
Colonel Kennedy to Jack O’Neill: Your mission report from Chulak made for the most engrossing analysis of my career.
[as Kennedy] But why did you write an analysis of my career in your mission report?

Holiday
Daniel: I'm Daniel Jackson.
Machello: Ah yes! I'm Daniel Jackson.
Daniel: No, no, I'm Daniel Jackson.
Machello: No, I'm Daniel Jackson.
[as Machello] At least, I will be in a minute.

Holiday
Daniel: I'm Daniel Jackson.
Machello: Ah yes! I'm Daniel Jackson.
Daniel: No, no, I'm Daniel Jackson.
Machello: No, I'm Daniel Jackson.
[as obscure movie fan] I thought he was one of The Secaucus Seven?

or

[as KAM] duh... I thought he was Macgyver...

To continue...
[some other guy]: I'm Daniel Jackson, and so's my wife!

Prisoners
(They're examining the boots & feet in front of the wormhole)
Carter: It's been cauterized.
[as T'ealc] You dated him?
[as Carter] Cauterized, not Carterized.

1969
(When title comes up)
[as Prince, singing] Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1969!

Actually, I can imagine the whole crew decked in 60's clothes singing the song. ;-)

Warning! Warning! Title riffs! Bad jokes galore! Warning! Warning!

Children of the Gods
(When title comes up)
""And the deadbeat Gods who refuse to pay child support"

The Enemy Within
(When title comes up)
"Isn't that harboring the enemy?"
"Sounds kind of dirty to me."

Emancipation
(When title comes up)
[as Carol King, singing] Emancipation, is making me wait...

The Nox
(When title comes up)
"...and the pings. I've got to switch to a better gasoline."
or
"Nox, Nox."
"Who's there?"
"Quark with a bush on his head."

Brief Candle
(When title comes up)
"That's what happens when you burn it at both ends."

Thor's Hammer
(When title comes up)
[as Peter, Paul & Mary, singing] If I had Thor's Hammer, I'd hammer in the morning...

Fire and Water
(When title comes up)
"What a steamy episode"

Enigma
(When title comes up)
"What's that mean?"
"It's a mystery"

Solitudes
(When title comes up)
"Shouldn't that be singular, instead of plural?"

Tin Man
(When title comes up)
[as Tin Woodsman] Oil can, oil can

Within the Serpent's Grasp
(When title comes up)
[as Alice Cooper, singing] I'm gonna wrap myself around you...

The Gamekeeper
(When title comes up)
"No! It's my Scrabble board & you can't have it!"

Need
(When title comes up)
"...in the groin"
or
"...dough"

Message in a Bottle
(When title comes up)
"Drink me!"

Family
(When title comes up)
"starring Kristy McNichol

The Tok'Ra
(When title comes up)
"I'm a Smok'Ra, I'm a Jok'Ra, I'm a midnight Tok'Ra..."

Touchstone
(When title comes up)
"A subsidiary of Disney."

The Fifth Race
(When title comes up)
"Because the first 4 were disqualified"

Dead Man's Switch
(When title comes up)
"He's now a dead woman"

Rules of Engagement
(When title comes up)
"Don't fire Worf, it's a trap!"

Jolinar's Memories
(When title comes up)
[as Barba Streisand, singing] ...misty watercolor memories, of the way we were...

The Devil You Know
(When title comes up)
"...that guy with the horns and a pitchfork"

Crossroads
(When title comes up)
"I guess it cross because of all those chickens"

Window of Opportunity
(When title comes up)
[as ScottN] The French Door factory in Port Mike

Watergate
(When title comes up)
[as Nixon] I am not a crook!
or
"Explative delete"

Fair Game
(Carter gets promoted to Major)
"Now if they can just promote Harry."

Thor: I am Thor.
[as Thor] and it hurtth like Hell.
or
[as Thor] Do you know Firtht Aid?
or
[as Jack] Try some baby powder to prevent chafing.

Seth
First view of Seth sitting on his big comfy chair.
[as Seth – singing] I got my mind set on you, I got my mind set on you.
(he looked very much like George Harrison in the video of the song)

Fair Game
Thor: I am Thor.
[as Thor] I really mutht get another cuthion for thith theat.

A Hundred Days
(When the title comes up)
"It'll certainly feel like it."

Not really, I've just got a sarcastic sense of humor

Carter: There are many car-sized objects in Adora's path.
"Volkswagon beetle or stretch limo?"

Carter: ...it's slipping back into the event horizon."
[sing] Beyond the event horizon...

Beneath The Surface So if you haven't seen this ep don't read!
(Jack shatters the skylight)
[as worker] Look! there's light! We were lied t... AAAAAAAaaaaa!!! I've been cut by broken glass!!!

Beneath The Surface
Jack: Hey! Aren't you that guy from Army of Darkness?


Bruce Campbell is in this one, though I have yet to spot him

Upgrades

Daniel: With great power comes great responsibility.
[as Daniel]: If only I could have saved my Uncle Ben!

Crossroads
(When title comes up)
[as parent] Look both ways!

(Teal'c sees the image of Chronos killing his father)
"Shoulda figured the Goa'uld would be into snuff films."
or
[as Chronos] I shall make you sing like a soprano!

(When the signal sounds to go the Tok'ra planet)
[as Daniel] Guess I won't get breakfast.

(When Teal'c & Tanith are staring at each other at the end)
[as Methos] There can be only one.

Divide And Conquer WARNING! SPOILERS!
(Sam's about to be put to sleep)
Sam: Janet...
[as Brad from Rocky Horror] ...dammit, I love you!

Hammond: This man is not the President.
[as Hammond] And the recount in Florida proves it.

Window Of Opportunity
(Jack & Teal'c hitting golf balls through the Stargate)
[as Hope & Crosby singing] We're off on the road to Chulak...
or
[as Announcer] Welcome to the Bob Hope Cheyenne Mountain Invitational...

Stargate
(When title comes up)
"I'm sorry, you're just a co-star. Use the back entrance."

(Raising the Stargate)
[as Reporter] There's plenty of excitement as Cairo gets it's first Dunkin Donuts.

(Trip through Stargate)
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

(Skaara amazed at Jack's lighter)
[as Skaara] Never have I seen a lighter that lights on the first try.

(When end credits roll)
Animals by
"God?"

Mold maker
"Wet conditions"

Model makers
"Mr. & Mrs. MacPherson, Mr. & Mrs. Crawford, Mr. & Mrs. Ireland..."

Entity
(Camera zooming in on Daniel & Sam talking)
"It's HAL!"

O'niel: Can we get some Claymores down here?
[as Scotsman] Hoot nah, man, did ye want the two-handers or the basket hilts?

Divide and Conquer
Jack: What if you’re wrong and Carter and I aren’t really Zatarcs?
Freya: I do not believe that is possible.
Jack: Swell.
[as Freya] Yes, they do, but please try to concentrate, Colonel.
(Sorry, sorry, couldn’t resist it – Jack was even looking at her chest when he said it!)

2010
(When title comes up)
"The year we make contact."

Sam: They can turn planets into stars why can't they control the media?
[as old commercial line] If they can send a man to the moon why can't they make a decaffinated coffee that tastes great?

(Jack picks up note and looks at it)
[as Jack] Pick up dry cleaning and cancel paper.
or
[as Jack] Bet on the Seahawks in 2004?
or
[as Richard Dean Anderson] Stare at this puzzled. Don't read this out loud. Whoops!

Frozen
Janet: “We’re all quarantined.”
[say] “I just hope they’ve got enough Heinz Tomato Ketchup.”
(You’ll only get this if you’ve seen a recent ad on British TV!)

Stargate
Jack: I'm here in case you succeed.
[as Daniel] Oh, good. The guinea pig's here.

(Captured by Ra)
[as Jack] Man, did I pick the wrong week to give up killing myself.

Red Sky
(When title comes up)
"Red sky at night, writer's delight
Red sky in morning, viewers take warning."

When Sam mentions plutonium carried along wormhole
[as LICC fan] Sounds more like plotonium, instead.

No, no no....

"Red sky at night, Nitpicker's delight
Red sky in morning, viewers take warning."

Yep, that's better.

Nightwalkers
(Jonas and Teal’c walk into a bar [no, it’s not the start of a bad joke ...]; three guys with beards and bushy moustaches turn round and glare at them)
[as Jonas] “Is that Z Z Top?!”

Beast Of Burden
(When title comes up)
[as Rolling Stones] I won't be your beast of burden...

Between Two Fires
(When title comes up)
"Don't forget the marshmellows."

2001
(When title comes up)
[as SF Fan] A Space Odyssey

Desperate Measures
(When title comes up)
[as frantic builder] Is it 5 inches, or 6 inches???

The Warrior
(When title comes up)
[as music lover] One of Patti Smyth's best songs.

Menace
(When title comes up)
[as Dennis] Oh, Mr. Wilson...

Meridian
(When title comes up)
[as Comic Fan] A CrossGen Comic

Revelations
(When title comes up)
[as Sir Issac Newton] For every revelation, there is an equal, but opposite, revelation. ;-)

Frozen
(When title comes up)
"French Fries!"
or
"Food!"

Nightwalkers
(When title comes up)
"Guess they got tired of crawling."

Abyss
(When title comes up)
"Life's abyss, then you dive."

Disclosure
(When title comes up)
[as New Yorker] Dis closure, dat closure, dem udder closures.

Changeling
(When title comes up)
"But what if Ling doesn't want to be changed?"

Full Circle
(When title comes up)
"No more. This circle's full."

Disclosure
(When title comes up)
So Demi Moore is in this one?

Threshold
Bra'tac: You must trust in me.
[as Kaa the snake, singing] Trust in me...

Teal'c: Please realease me.
[as Teal'c, singing] Pleeeeeease release me, let me gooooo...

Threshold

Bra'tac: You must choose!
Insert gratuitious Trainspotting riff here.

Proving Ground
Satterfield: I didn't believe Dr. Jackson was a Goa'uld.
Carter: Why not?
Haley: She thinks he's cute.
[as Carter] Don't let General Sullivan find out or you'll never be assigned to the SGC.
;-) ;-)

Elliot: Grogan, take out Daniel.
[as Grogan] But he's not my type!
or
[as Grogan] With pleasure, sir.

O'Neil: You weren't the least bit suspicious?
Elliot: No, sir.
[as O'Neil] Then you're not smart enough for the SGC.

And please note that we've seen both Elliot and Grogan since that episode but there's been No Sign of Saderfield ...
[sfx: evil cackle]

Proving Ground
Saderfield: I didn't believe Dr. Jackson was a Goa'uld.
Carter: Why not?
Haley: She thinks he's cute.
[as General Sullivan] Hands off! He's mine!

;-)
I wonder how many more of these we can come up with?
;-)

Disclosure
(Thor holds up his index finger)
[as Thor] “Owwwwch. Hee hee, I’ve always wanted to say that!”

(Thor holds up his index finger)
(say) “Yikes! He may be Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet and really busy, but couldn’t he find some time to cut his fingernails?!”

Rules of Engagement
Jack shows Rogers Apophis' corpse.
This is an ex-Goa'uld!

Window of Opportunity

They needed to show Jack and Teal'c running around the base shooting at each other with Zats, then after Teal'c hits Jack he calmly steps over him and says "Tag O'niell. you are it" then run off.

Proving Ground and/or Last Stand
Anyone: Elliot...
[as ET] Phone home.

Daniels Return in Season 7

*the gate engages, it's SG1 returning from a mission...as they walk through the gate they hear a continuous noise that begins to get louder and louder. All four members stand there trying to find where the noise is coming from...eventually the noise develops into an audible *AHHHHHHHHH!* noise before ending with the sudden fact that Daniel has collided with them all and ends up on the ground face-to-face with jack*

Daniel: "Hello Jack"
Jack (staring in disbelief): "Hello Daniel"

*credits roll*

Summit
(When we see the assembled System Lords)
[as Andrew from Buffy, the Vampire Slayer] We are gods! We are gods! We are gods!
Continue until everyone in the room beats you to a bloody pulp

Wormhole X-Treme!
(When the promo for Wormhole X-Treme series ends)
[as Jack] Looks like the usual garbage they show on the Sci-Fi channel.

Meridian
(when title comes up)
[as CrossGen fan] Where's Sephie?

Sephie is the main character in CrossGen Comics Meridian

Daniel: Don't touch me!
[as Callie] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

(Daniel comments that he doesn't recognize Oma)
[as Daniel] Probably because now you look thirtysomething.

(Jack looks at Oma)
[as Jack] No matter where you go, there's a babe.

(Oma changes form)
[as Wesley Crusher] Salia! Come back!

Are you people on crack? Maybe this isn't the forum I thought it was... heheh.

Naquada (Too lazy to register)

Naquada, MiSTings are named after "Mystery Science Theatre 3000".

Have you ever watched a bad movie and shouted at the screen? Or had a much "better" line than the one used in the film?

Well, that's what we do on the MiSTing boards.

Full Circle

Anubis: Daniel... I am your father!

Shades of Grey

Daniel says that they didn't trade anything for it...
[as Chris Elliot]: I smell REFUND!

Tangent
Jack (over the radio to the X-301): “Give us another fly-by, low and slow.”
Teal’c (piloting the X-301): “As you wish.”
[as Jack:] “Uh, Teal’c, there’s a 3-star general down here with me – can we talk about your love for me some other time?”

[Guess who just treated herself to the video of “The Princess Bride”!]

Any future Episode featuring Aunbis'es "Super Jaffa"
"All right, who was on guard duty & did'nt see the Energizer Dalek nick all our Batteries ?" (The Super Jaffa are apperently battery-powered)
(BTW, Energizer in the U.K are using Daleks instead of toy Rabbits to plug their batteries), or was it the Duracell Bunny that did the (Foul/Noble) deed ?

Homecoming
"In my moment of trimuph ! You overestimate their chances !" - Anubis
(Misquoting Grand Moff W.Tarkin)

Enemy Mine:
*Opening shot, Guy standing on the thing shooting the sensors into the ground*
"These Segways aren't up to much"

Enemy Mine
*Opening shot, Guy standing on the thing shooting the sensors into the ground*
"This pogo stick isn't up to much."

Enemy Mine
*Opening shot, Guy standing on the things shooting sensors into the ground*
O'Neill: "Stevens! I told you to leave those gophers alone!"

Space Race

Announcer: You know, TechCon doesn't have a product that's relevant to this discussion!

Space Race
Announcer: "And now 2 late entries not on the race listing".
"They are a Mr T Paris in the Federation Entry, the "Delta Flyer" & A Mr Han(s) Solo in the privateer entry, "Millenium Falcon" aka "That Hunk of Junk" !

Redemption
(Shot of Drey’auc wrapped up like a mummy)
[as Drey’auc] (muffled) Let me out! I'm not dead yet!

(Teal'c in front of the funeral pyre)
[as Teal'c] Who wants a drumstick?

Frozen
Janet: He's in hypothermic shock. We need to get his clothes off.
[as Sam] Really?
[as Janet] No, I'm just a perv.

The Other Guys
(Any shot of Khonsu)
[as Strange Candy fan] Oom oom oom oom oom oom oom...

Felger: If this were a Trek convention you'd be all dressed up like a Klingon.
Koonz: A Vulcan!
[as Marrs] I see you more as a Denobulan.

(SG-1 in circular 'holding area' when the force field comes on)
[as Jack] Just like Vegas
or
[as Herak] The two drink minimum is strictly enforced.

(Just before Teal'c bursts out of the water)
[as Jaws fan] Na na nana nana nana...

(Jaffa busting down door)
[as Jaffa] Come out! Come out or we'll blow your house down!

(Jack stands in front of Stargate)
[as Jack] You guys couldn't hit the broadside of a Stargaaaahhhh!

(Sam kisses Felger)
[as slashy viewer] Funny, I thought he preferred Jack.

Allegiance
(when title comes up)
[as Yoda] Pledge of
or
[as US Courts] You can't say that in schools until you remove the phrase "One nation under Goa'uld". ;-)

Cure
(Leader can't wait to see best & brightest diplomat Earth will send)
Jack: Howdy!
[as Leader] That's it! We're at war!

Birthright
Jack and Sam return through the Stargate to SGC where Hammond is waiting at the bottom of the ramp.
Hammond: Doctor Jackson, Teal’c?
[as Jack] Uh, General, with all due respect, when did you last have your eyes tested?

KAM: [as Jack] Bet on the Seahawks in 2004?

NANJAO: The Seahawks are in the playoffs, and will be playing in the playoffs in 2004!

Threshold

Bra'tac: You must choose!
[as the band Rush]: If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice...

The Seahawks are in the playoffs
And that comes as a great surprise to everyone, ScottN. ;-)

Space Race
(When title comes up)
[sing] Go Space Racer! Go Space Racer! Go Space Racer Go!

Avenger 2.0
(When title comes up)
[as Chessboard Intro] Crimes committed against the people and the state have to be avenged by agents extraordinaire...

Evolution
(When title comes up)
[as the Beatles] You say you want an Evolution, well, you know...

ScottN - The Seahawks are in the playoffs
[as Jack] And how's that going, by the way?

;-)

:-(

KAM, the line is,

"You say it's only evolution..."

Re:Evolution
Is it Evolution Number 9, though...?

Number 9, Number 9, Number 9,...

Part 2 already? The previous board was only up to 65k.

And? But? So? Therefore?

Who's looking after this board, you or me?!

*Blows an affectionate kiss in KAM's direction (while wondering if the death glider has enough fuel left to reach the States)*

Ripped from the headlines (OK, from the "Lines you won't hear on..." board)...

Jack: Daniel, tell me about this new Goa'uld, "Tut".
Daniel: Well, legend has it that he was born in Arizona.
Jack: Born in Arizona?
Daniel: Moved to Babylonia.
Jack: Born in Arizona?
Daniel: Got a condo made of stone-a! King Tut!

Grace
(When title comes up)
[say] For what we are about to receive, may the lord make us one day understand just what the heck really happened in this episode!

Unnatural Selection
(When title comes up)
[as Jeopardy Contestant] How do you describe the selection of the previous episode?

Jonas: It certainly defies conventional wisdom.
[as sarcastic viewer] As does much writing of Replicator episodes.

(At end when Replicators are frozen in time)
[as J. Giles Band singing] Freeze frame!

Chimera:

Note Reads:
"Dinner at Eight. Surprise to Follow. Dress up."

Pete comes to the door, and it opens, revealing Sam... dressed as Wonder Woman.

Re:Unatural Selection
(At end,when replicators are "Frozen" in time)
[As 187 Lockdown sample] Rewind !

Sight Unseen
(Hammond shuts down the base)
[as NORAD boys upstairs] Oh, great! Not again!

Heroes Part 2

Wells: My wife and I wanted to show our gratitude to Dr. Frasier by naming our baby after her.
Daniel: That's a fine idea.
Wells: So we decided to call her "Doctor".
Pause
Daniel: Umm...or "Janet"...?
Wells: Well, sure, OK, we could do that too...

(Borrowed from "The Vicar of Dibley")

Children of the Gods

Jack: Gee Daniel, why do you call Sha'uri "Sha're" now?
Daniel: Because I got so fed up of her calling me "Danyell" I decided to deliberately mispronounce her name too!

Fallen
Daniel trying to regain his memory to Carter:
Sam, were we ever....................?
Sam: Ohhh, no, no,.........we were just friends.
[as Daniel]: {Loudly whispers}Darn!

Metamorphosis
(When title comes up)
[as Star Trek fan] Is this the one where they meet Zephram Cochrane?

(Sam is put into the device)
Nurrti: Let's see what you made of.
[as Nurrti] Sugar, spice, everything nice, and a touch of naquadah.

Stargate: Atlantis
(When series title comes up)
[as Sebastian] Under da sea, under da sea, things are better, where they are wetter, under da sea...

Metamorphosis
(Jack & company see the Jaffa)
Jack: We need a diversion.
[as Jack] You redshirts, go get yourselves killed.
[as redshirts] Yes, sir!

I dunno why this popped into my head today...

As I was watching this evenings SG1 re-run I suddenly had the image of Jack and Daniel being faced with a Jaffa and a staff weapon doing the ol' Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny routine.

"O'Neill Season!" *pushes the staff weapon to Jack*
"Jackson Season!" *pushes the staff weapon to Daniel*

and so on..

Re: KAM's Monday comment (Metamorphsis)
Surely you mean...
(As Powerpuff Girl Narrator) Sugar, Spice, a touch of Na'quada, & Chemical X...?!

I thought about a Chemical X comment, but couldn't remember Prof. Utonium's name.

Disclosure
(Opening scene ending with Hammond looking suspicious)
[as Hammond] Who farted?

Kinsey: I'm sure you're wondering why we decided to go public.
[as viewer] D@mn right!

Re:Prof Utonium's comment
I can just imagine (Derangedly) the Stargate "Outro" Music done in the style of the Powerpuff Girls "Outro"...!
(in the Style of Bis)
"Stargate SG-1 Saves the day..."
"Fighting Goa'uld, trying to save the world..."!
(Sorry, but I could'nt fit in Teal'c into the lyrics... Annoying)

Summit
(just before the System Lords bite the symbiotes)
[as Marie Antoinette] Let them eat snake!

The Lost City, Part II

President Hayes: So you're Anubis, the guy who wiped out all the other System Lords. Somehow I thought you'd be taller.

PS: Thank you, Senator Vreenak

Or:
Lost City part 2
Hayes: “Aren’t you a little short to be a System Lord?”

The Lost City part 2

Anubis stands up, puts on a Napoleon hat, and sticks his hand inside his robe.

Ref: Short jokes and "Napoleonic Complex" comment on TLCpt2 board

Disclosure
(Opening scene ending with Hammond looking suspicious)
[as Don S. Davis] Why's the camera still focused on me? Do I have another line?

Forsaken
(When title comes up)
[sing] Do not forsake me oh my darling...

(Hebridans put down the weapons)
[as Jack] FIRE!

Redemption
McKay (looking through Jonas' notebook): This is worse than I thought!
[as McKay] Who cut my love scene with Carter?
or
[as McKay] I'm not a regular this season?
or
[as McKay] "All work & no play make Jonas a dull boy".
or
[as McKay] It's worse than a script by Berman & Braga!

(We see Jack & Sam in their flight suits)
[as Star Wars fan] Stormtroopers! Jack & Sam have gone to the Dark Side!

Jack: Off we go.
[as Jack singing] into the wild blue yonder...

(Anubis' hologram appears)
[as Star Wars fan] It's the Emperor!

Can't believe nobody did this one yet...

2001
[As title comes up, background music: "Also Sprach Zarathustra"]

The Nox
[As Antaeus]: Dealing with you hew-mans is not very profitable.

Memento
(as the two missiles are approaching the Prometheus)
[say] and they just turned into a sperm whale and a pot of petunias.

Memento
(Jack's talking to the planet & getting no response)
[as recorded message] We're sorry, but all our operators are busy...
or
[as recorded message] Your call is important to us...
or
[as recorded message] Press 1 for an Emergency, Press 2 for...

Memento
(When title comes up)
[as Commercial Pitchman] Mementos, the fresh maker

Urgo

Urgo (Nasal voice): Did I do THAT?

Whoops! That's Urkel, not Urgo!

Full Circle
(Anubis' ship is changing)
[sing] Transformers, robots in disguise...

or

[as Lord Yu] Don't fire yet. He's doing origami. I love that.

(Daniel & Anubis square off)
[as Obi-Wan] Use the Force, Daniel!

Full Circle
Anubis: "What's that funny blue box marked "Police Box" doing in the cargo hold...?"

New Order
Doctor Weir comes into Daniel’s office.
Daniel: Doctor Weir.
Weir: Elizabeth.
[as Daniel:] Um, no, my name’s Daniel, actually. Heeey ... who told you I had a girl’s name?!

Covenant
Alec Colson meets with Sam and Daniel.
Alec: Lieutenant Colonel.
Sam (shaking his hand): Alec.
Alec: Radiant as ever.
Daniel (introducing himself): Daniel Jackson.
[as Alec]: You’re not so radiant.

Atlantis, The Storm

[The three Genii trainees are getting their rear-ends kicked]

[as Female Trainee]: The Thralls Surrender!

The training area looked like the arena on Triskelion, even to the three-sided central area

Fallen
(When title comes up)
[as old lady] I can't get up! I can't get up!

Jack (to Daniel): That was your department
[as Jack] Along with getting babes to fall for you.

Daniel: Sam, were we ever...?
Sam: Ohhh, no, no. We were just friends.
Daniel: Okay.
[as Daniel] What about me & Jack?
[as Sam] Oh, yeah! Big time!

(Lord Yu in sarcophagus as it closes)
[as Julia Child] Now bake for 30 minutes at 450 degrees...

(Jonas is shot)
[as producer] Well that gets him out of the way.

Jonas: I won't tell you anything.
Anubis: Oh, yeas you will. (holds the little mind probe)
[as Jonas] Oh, great, now I'm Princess Leia.

Preview Announcer: SG-1 must stop a madman bent on conquering the universe!
[as announcer] Brannon Braga!

Re:KAM's last Mistings
(Lord Yu in sarcophagus)
I agree with the cooking time, but 450 degrees what, Kelvin...?
(Also being a Brit, I'd argue for the tones of Delia Smith or Nigella Lawson myself, rather than Julia Child's)
(Anubis mind probe comment)
Jonas [As Castellan from the Dr.Who Episode "The 5 Doctors"]
"No, not the Mind Probe...?"

Delia Smith or Nigella Lawson myself,

Are those the "Two Fat Ladies"?

You’d better hope that Delia and Nigella never read that, Scott!!

(Pics of Nigella here and Delia here while these are the Two Fat Ladies!)

Sorry, I didn't know... I just knew the TFLs were British. It was an honest question.

Ironically, the BBC did consider buying episodes of Julia Child's cookery show, in the early 1970's, to show on BBC2, but rejected it when they viewed the test episode.
Apparently, they thought she had been drinking, because they could not understand her Boston accent...
As a result, they had to comission a cookery show, starring a promising newcomer called Delia Smith....

I agree with the cooking time, but 450 degrees what
Fahrenheit I guess. American stoves don't say what the numbers stand for. I guess English stoves have surrendered to the tyranny of the Evil French Measurment System.

I suppose I could have chosen the Galloping Gourmet, but I figured Julia was more well known.

they thought she had been drinking
Wouldn't surprise me a bit. IIRC the Galloping Gourmet would drink while cooking as well. Yes, kiddies, if you want to be a great chef knock back a few glasses of wine first, during & afterwards. ;-)

I thought Julia's accent was French, not Boston. (She was The French Chef, not The Boston Chef.)

She was the French Chef, but she was blue-blood Boston.

Used to catch the Galloping Gourmet late night on the Food Network. He was, err... um...., rather flamboyant (yeah, that's it, flamboyant!), wasn't he?

And now that we're totally OT, we now return you to your regularly scheduled MiSTings.

Re:Kam's Comment
Generally, Temprature in the U.K for non gas ovens is now given in Centigrade/Celcius,I think (for Gas appliances it's a Reglulo mark & has to be converted into Farenheit/Celcius).
Most U.K cookery programmes give all the above in recipe preparation, along with AGA ratings, when displaying cooking times.
BTW, Kam, we did have Graham Kerr a/k/a "The Galloping Gourmet" on U.K television in the 1970's. He was on ITV as I seem to recall, so perhaps you should have gone with your first instinct...
In response to this MiSTing,though Nancy Lam would be the most apt, in this thread.
(She's Malyasian/Chinese & completely Barking...)

Revisions
(This could go at any number of points in the episode)
[as a person from Return Of The Archons] Festival!

(Someone offers SG-1 the link)
[as the Borg] Resistance is futile!

(Pallan throws rock through hologram)
[as councilwoman] Ow!

(Jack & T'ealc walking through the boneyard)
[sing] Dem bones, dem bones, dem old bones...

(When it's revealed that the link is rewriting people's memories)
[as Brannon Braga] We have GOT to get one of those for Earth!

Enemy Mine
(In front of the warning)
Daniel: (forget the exact line) This means to stay away.
[as Jack] Oh. I thought it was a Haunted House.

(Sam shows up)
[as Amanda Tapping] Hi! Just here to pick up my paycheck.

(Soldiers have all kneeled.)
[as Ironshirt] Attack!!!

Stargate: SG-1
Zero Hour
(When title comes up)
[as comic fan] DC is rebooting again?

Icon
(When title comes up)
[as comic fan] Brought to you by Milestone Comics.

Avatar
(When title comes up)
[as Supermegatopia fan] Nice rack.

Endgame
(When title comes up)
[as Voyager fan] Will Janeway get them home?

Prometheus Unbound
(When title comes up)
[as reader] By Ayn Rand

Stargate: Atlantis
Rising
(When title comes up)
[as Bruce Springsteen] Come on down to the rising...

The Eye
(When title comes up)
[as Komiyan] Beholder! It's a Beholder!

Sanctuary
(When title comes up)
[as Quasimodo] Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

Letter from Pegasus
(When title comes up)
[as letter] Dear Zeus, Bellerophon left me today...

Zero Hour
(when title comes up)
[as Trek fan] I bet Jack does better than Archer at stopping that Xindi weapon!

[as MacGuyver fan] And he'll do it with a paperclip, gum wrapper, & a shoelace.

Keith - re your first post of 10 November: I have corrected the error for you.

Bet you didn't even know you'd made one, did you? ;-)

I'm surprised I only made one. ;-)

But, yeah, I'll have to check my copy at home to see what it was. Thanks.