What are some favorite funny songs and lyrics? I love "Dead Puppies" and "Dead Dog Rover" for starters. Then there's also "Weird" Al's stuff, "King Tut", "Moose Turd Pie".

Back in the days of the Iran hostage crisis, Dr. D played a "My Sharona" parody called "Ayatollah".

"Americans are mostly cool/Mostly cool/But if you were here/We'd hit you in the face/With a pie-atollah!" I downloaded that from Napster. They gave Steve Dahl credit for it.

One Steve Dahl did do was "Do You Think I'm Disco?" a parody of Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" Best lines in it are "Some people say I'm scum/'Cos I don't have a realistic set of values/And you what?/I'm beginning/To think/Maybe they're right." and "Let me have your number/What do you mean you don't have a phone?/Let me have your address/I'll stop by and visit you/What do you mean you live anywhere?"

There was a parody of "Dead Puppies" called "Dead Yuppies". "A yuppie died late last fall/Designer briefcase in the hall. Dead yuppies don't network."

Here's a sample of Spike Jones (a pre-Weird Al of the 1940's):

My Old Flame [as sung by Peter Lori (sp?)]

My old flame,
I can’t even think of her name.
(I’ll have to look through my collection of human heads)
But it’s funny now and then,
How my thoughts go flashing back again
To my old flame.

My old flame,
My new lovers all seem so tame.
(they won’t even let me strangle them!)
For I haven’t met a girl so magnificent
Or elegant as –
My old flame.

I’ve met so many who had fascinating ways,
A fascinating gaze in their eye.
(I saw this eye – so I removed the other eye! –
that eye that kept winking and blinking at other men!)
Some who took me up to the skies.
But their attempts at love,
Were only imitations of -

My old flame,
I can’t even think of her name.
(what was her name? Doris, Laura, Cloe, Manny, Moe, Jack! …
no, it couldn’t have been Moe. I can’t stand it I tell you! This is driving me sane!)
She would always treat me mean,
So I poured a can of gasoline and struck a match to –
My old flame.

More "Ayahtollah"

C'mon give us back all our people from the Embassy/the Shah's in New York and he's takin' chemotherapy/He's already gonna Die-atollah!

And, of course, the last line...

"Hasta Luigi, Dudesicle!"

I didn't hear it on Dr. Demento's show. I was living in Blytheville, Arkansas at the time. The only radio stations you could really listen to were from Memphis. The morning crew, either on FM 100 or Rock 103 (I forget which one) played it. That's also where I first heard "Weird Al"'s "My Bologna", the original version.

The Knack's "My Sharona" has also been parodied twice by a guy from Dallas, named John Mamoser (I think that's right). Both versions were called "Nine Coronas". He just updated the lyrics the second time around. I still like the first one better. It had a great local reference in it: "But LBJ's too narrow/After nine Coronas".

Local act Vince Vance and the Valiants also made a contribution to the Iranian crisis. They took the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann" and created "Bomb Iran". "Bomb-bomb-bomb/Bomb-bomb Iran."

Benn, I remember a tune from the dreaded "KZPS" morning show that had a perverted rendition of "Levon" (Elton John) titled "Devon" (a slam on Devon Sanders) ... can't remember any words, though.

Bo and Jim? Back when they first started on KZips (as I call it) a cool version of "Stairway to Heaven". It was "Stairway" as performed by the Beatles. Then there's that whacked out version by Dread Zeppelin. For those who don't know, Dread Zeppelin is a group that performs reggae versions of Led Zeppelin songs. The lead singer is Tort Elvis, an Elvis impersonator. So, that's Elvis Presley singing Led Zeppelin, with a reggae beat. It's pretty twisted.

Then of course, there's the classic "Stairway to Gilligan's Island". Downloaded that off Napster.

Hmmm...that's pleanty strange, but not truly "demented"

You should listen to "Detachable P enis" by King Missile...I don't like the group, but that song always makes me laugh.

Back in the days of the Iran hostage crisis, Dr. D played a "My Sharona" parody called "Ayatollah".
Yeah, I remember that song slightly.

...as sung by Peter Lori (sp?)
Actually, it's Peter Lorre.

"Detachable P*nis"? Omigod! I didn't know anyone else knew that song! I love it!

Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon?


I think someone should form a parody\punk band called "Crush Puppy"!

Zevon's Excitable Boy is excellent. Period.

There's one song I've been reluctant to name because I'm afraid people will I'm really perverted. But... does anyone else remember

"Kinko, Kinko
The kid-lovin' clown.
If the kids just me back
I'll never wear a frown."?

It's funny in a very sick and twisted way. The guy that did it also did "Dead Puppies".

Whimsical Will, one of Dr. Demento's sidekicks, had a great song I wish I still had a recording of. It was called "Rock Rap". It's not rap as we think of though. The piano part was played by Billy Joel believe it or not. The first verse went like this:

"I've lived on Level 42 of my Wadsworth Mansion
In the Frankie Valley for Four Seasons.
It had been an Icehouse
As that Motley Crew From Pacific, Gas & Electric
Hadn't been by to Fixx the Canned Heat
Since last Donna Summer."

Later he says, "I became a Supertramp, a Missing Person, a Herman's Hermit, barely a Talking Head
And although I wasn't sure if I was Dead or Alive
I'd've been Grateful Dead."

I wish I could remember the rest of it. Hell, f that! I want a recording of it again!

Excitable Boy is a great album. I'm partial to the song "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner", after the title track and Werewolves.

"Accidentally, Like a Martyr" is my favorite cut off that disc.

They're all good cuts..

"We made mad love
Shadow love
Random love
And abandoned love
Accidentally like a martyr..."

"The hurt gets worse
And the heart gets harder."

Absolutely. A great album.

Well, we’re big rock singers,
We got golden fingers,
And we’re loved everywhere we go.
We sing about beauty and we sing about truth
At ten thousand dollars a show.

We take all kinda pills
That give us all kinda thrills
But the thrill we’ll never know,
Is the thrill that’ll getcha when you git your picture
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

Rolling Stone …
Wanna see my picture on the cover,
Stone …
Wanna buy five copies for my mother,
Stone …
Wanna see my smiling face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone!

(To the tune of "Wild Wild West" by the Escape Club)

"The Penguin and his ten goons
Were plotting in the backroom
Pow! Crash! Boom! Bam!
In leaps the Batman
Making life safe again
For all the Gotham citizens.
He's so bitchen
He's so brave
It's back to the Bat-cave.

"He's got cool
And savior fare!
In his cape and cowl
And grey underwear.
Who is the hero
We like best?
Gotta be the Batman
Gotta be Adam West.
(Adam West)

spoken:
Will Warner Bros.' big bat-blockbuster
Be a big bat-bomb?
Will bat-fans care
That Batman is really Mr. Mom?"

(This was recorded in '89.)

Well, well, well, how many Captain Beefheart songs shall I name????

Ice Cream For Crow was highly underrated, I think. It contained some awesomely absurd ruminations that may also be deep...who knows:
"The Past Sure Is Tense"
"The Thousand-and-Tenth Day of the Human Totem Pole"
plus there's always old standbys like
"Dachau Blues" and
"Frownland"
(there must be a way to tell...now what can it be...?)

FFKT (Fred Frith, John French, Henry Kaiser, and Richard Thompson) did a marvelous deconstruction of "Surfin' USA" on their first. Too cool for words. The beginning sounds like an exact reconstruction of the Beach Boys, then with each successive verse it gets a little less intelligible until it's reduced to pure dementia. I find it to be done with as much affection as iconoclasm. Great fun at parties too!

Tom Lehrer has some fascinating songs, such as "I Hold Your Hand in Mine," "Fight Fiercely, Harvard," and "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park." His "Masochism Tango" (tamer than you might think) is one of my favorites.

Spike Jones definitely has the most demented renditions of "You Always Hurt the One You Love" and "Cocktails for Two."

Oh, and I'm not a great fan of "Fish Heads," but it's common enough that it deserves mention here.

When You’re in Love With a Beautiful Woman - Dr. Hook

When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … It’s hard.
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … you know it’s hard.
Everybody wants her, everybody loves her,
Everybody wants to take your baby home.

When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … you watch your friends.
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … it never ends.
You know that is crazy, you want to trust her,
Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone.

When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … you go it alone.

Maybe it’s just an ego problem,
The problem is, I’ve been fooled before,
By fair weather friends and faint-hearted lovers,
And every time it happens it just convinces me more …

When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … you watch her eyes.
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … you look for lies.
Everybody tempts her, everybody tells her,
She’s the most beautiful woman they know.

When you’re in love with a beautiful woman … you go it alone.

(maybe the lyrics aren't what's dememted here ... maybe it's the singer ... hhmmm)

Jeez, I haven't heard that song in ages!

Any of Jim Morrison's little rants. That's a whole new kind of demented.

"Dead president's corpe in the driver's car
the engine runs on glue and tar..."

I've always thought this one was a little twisted ...

Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA - Devo

He's been with the world,
And I'm tired of the soup du jour.
He's been with the world,
I want to end this prophylactic tour.
Afraid nobody around here
Understands my potato,
I think I’m only a spud-boy
Looking for a real tomato.

We're the Smart Patrol –
Nowhere to go,
Suburban robots that monitor reality.
We’re common stock –
We work around the clock.
We shove the poles in the holes.

Hmmm....Yup, I'd say that qualifies. Jimi Hendrix's "Wake Up in the Morning and Find Yourself Dead" is a bit odd too.

Short People
Artist: Randy Newman

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands and little eyes
And they walk around telling great big lies
They got little noses and tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet

Well I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
'Round here

Short People are just the same as you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers until the day they die
(It's A Wonderful World)

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs and they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up just to say hello
They got little cars that got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices going peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers and dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
'Round here

As long as we're posting entire songs, I humbly offer Crazy from the Barenaked Ladies:

I climb the walls of my mind just like I'm climbing on a jungle gym
I am more than content with the
state of mind I am in
'cause I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

I don't think I need a rubber room,
but hey, that might be nice
I'm not a manic depressive paranoid or schizophrenic
so I don't need your advice.
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.

The lights are on but nobody's home
my elevator doesn't go to the top
I'm not playing with a full deck
I've lost my marbles
The lights are on but nobody's home
my elevator doesn't go to the top
I'm not playing with a full deck
I've lost my marbles.

I'm a few bricks short of a load,
but then a full load always hurt my back.
I am over the cuckoo's nest and
I'm never ever coming back because
I am crazy just like you
I am crazy just like you.
I am crazy.

One of my fave songs of all time, demented lyrics, is "Closer," Nine Inch Nails. H*ll yeah.

"The Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang was HILARIOUS. We all know it:

You and me baby ain't nothin but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel...

Funny/demented lyrics? Two words: WEIRD AL.

One off Napster, take off of "Mambo No. 5"

"Bimbo No. 5," done by "Bill Clinton"

One, two, three four, six,
Everybody in the car, let's go have sex,
to the..hotel around the corner,
our girls really wanna do the President but I really don't wanna
get caught like I did last year
Gotta find a new girl with a great big rear
I like Monica, Jennifer, Paula, and Kathleen
And maybe five other girls in between
But I'd really like to try a new piece of pork
When old Punky-legs is in New York
If she's alive then I will try to jump her
And then I will dump her

A little bit of Monica or no more
A little bit of Gennifer out the door
A little bit of Paula on the bed
A little bit of Hillary now I'm dead

Bimbo number five!

Pull your pants down and toss 'em on the ground
Now bark like a hound and I'll make a doggy sound
Now I'll chase you and you chase me
If I get caught will you spank my fanny please

Now clap your hands once
Here's a big surprise
Everyone was wrong gettin' points to the right

Monica's gone away
Maybe Miss America will come and play
A little bit of Britney would be nice
A little bit of Hillary, I'm all nice

Bimbo Number Five!

I got "Nine Coronas" as a forward, in flash. It's funny as hell, too.

I'll post the lyrics when I get the time.

John Mamoser is the arist who performed "Nine Coronas". There are different sets of lyrics to it. Being a native of Dallas, Texas. I prefer the original. It contained a reference to Dallas: "But LBJ's too narrow after nine Coronas". Needless to say, Mamoser is also from Dallas. His other Demented hit was "My Girlfriend Is Inflatable".

Here's a song I hear often on UK radio - I think it's by Ivor Cutler, and I think it's called "One at a Time" - can anyone confirm this? Anyhow, the lyrics go as follows, and I apologise in advance if anyone finds the lyrics from this quaint Scotsman offensive:

Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time,
Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time...

In olden days when times were hard
We filled the barrel with water,
We added brine from Prestonpans
Then stripped our son and daughter.

Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time,
Hold the barrel steady
Then jump in one at a time.

We stuck an apple in their mouth
And stood them on a chair,
And then we sat down for our tea
And left them standing bare.

Hold the barrel steady
Then jump in one at a time,
Hold the barrel steady
Then jump in one at a time.

"Now in you go, our children!"
They did as they were bid,
Their heads below the water,
And fastened on the lid.

Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time,
Hold the barrel steady
Then jump in one at a time.

We shed some tears, be sure of that,
Our stomachs were like lead,
"We'd better have some more," she said,
Then we went off to bed.

Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time,
Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time.

So if your purse is empty,
Your cupboard it is bare,
Just pull the clothes right off your bairns...
And stand them on a chair.

Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time,
Hold the barrel steady
And jump in one at a time,
One at a time,
One at a time,

One at a time....

And another one, from the same radio station, is by Dennis Leary, and I think it's called "Life's gonna s'uck". It has to be heard to be believed. I *won't* list the lyrics to this one this time, I think. You'll have to hear it for yourself.

I love that one, Sven!

I also love his rants about his kids, coffee, and beer.

Monty Python's "Medical Love Song" is one of the most demented things I've ever heard (and that's saying something!)

Listening to it, I have to wonder just what they were smoking when they wrote it...

And, on your fellas' recommendation, I downloaded "Detachable •••••." Tis very funny.:p

Today I was reminded of the British parody of CW McCall's "Convoy" by Laurie Lingo and the Dipsticks (a.k.a. Dave Lee Travis and Paul Burnett, two Radio 1 DJs in the 70s), entitled "Convoy GB". Unbelievably the song made no. 4 in the UK charts:

[Note: it works best if you can imagine someone with a thick Scouser (Liverpool) accent saying the words...]

It was a foggy day on the sixth of May
In a Scammell haulin' bricks
It was just crackin' dawn and I started to yawn
Cos I couldn't find any nice chicks.
I'd tried Newport Pagnell, Toddington,
And even Watford Gap,
But after so many eggs and chips, sausage and beans
What I really needed was a nap.
It's a lonely life, truck driving
But it's better than a bike
Cos when you're up in the cab, you're the king of the road
And it's dead romantic, like.
And then I remembered me two-way radio,
So I started feelin' better,
And I thought "I'll start a convoy"
"You know, just like that American feller."

[Chorus]
Thus began the saga
On the M1 Motorway
Of the biggest bloomin' convoy
Outside the USA.
Why not join our line-up?
It's completely free.
All you need is transport
And a current MOT.
Convoy!

- Hello, this is Super Scouse callin'. Anyone out there, come on?
- Hello, hello, this is Plastic Chicken, go off?
- That's "come on" - what's your load, Plastic Chicken?
- Er, well it would have been quick-drying cement, but the rain got in - do you know anyone who wants to buy a three-ton brick?

So there we were, the two of us,
At the start of something big.
There was Plastic Chicken with his brick on wheels,
And me in my big rig.
With every junction that we passed
Others would tag on
There was even a London Transport bus
"Hey, that's a nice wagon - fares please..."
It certainly was an impressive sight,
To see us on the road
There was vehicles of every shape and size
It certainly had growed.
Suddenly there was this commotion,
There was a circus, and a fair.
There was an animal acrobatic act
"Ooh look - a bear in the air!"

[Chorus]
You're listening to the saga,
On the M1 Motorway.
Of the biggest bloomin' convoy,
Outside the USA.
We're half-way through our story,
But please don't go away.
They're on Spaghetti Junction
"We could be here all day..."
Convoy!

- Hello, Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse, gerroff, I mean come in, er, come on - oh, do I have to say this every time?
- Yeah - have you seen any fuzzboxes? - that's slang for police cars.
- Er, Jackanory, Super Scouse - that's slang for No!
- That's Negatory, you berk...
- Ooh I say, is this a private convoy or can anyone join in?
- What's your wheels, our kid?
- Would you believe, a camper...?

Spaghetti Junction was coming up
So we were bound to lose a few.
And sure enough, the fork-lift truck,
Disappeared heading up towards Crewe.
The combine harvester shred a wheel,
And the driver lost control.
And a mobile DJ crashed his van,
So we ain't gonna play no Soul, 10-4.

[Chorus]
So we end our story,
On the M1 Motorway.
Of the biggest bloomin' convoy,
Outside the USA.
This record is good value,
As you can plainly see.
It's labelled as a tax disc
Though it's a felony.
Convoy!

- Er, Plastic Chicken to Super Scouse, there's a big black limo coming up behind...
- Er, what about it?
- Well it's got a flag on the front and a funny number plate - "HRH 1"
- Mercy sakes, good buddy, you'd better give it the front door and wave her on, like...
- Will do, Super Scouse, I'm waving her on - ooh look, she's waving back, isn't that nice...
- Plastic Chicken, do you want to stick it in behind that suicide jockey?
- What's a suicide jockey?
- As it happens, How's about...
- Er, Plastic Chicken, don't you think you'd better change gear for this hill?
- What's wrong with the gear I've got on, doesn't it look right?
- Change gear, ram your foot on the floor and change the gear, what you talking about, you don't know how to drive a truck do you, you've no idea how to drive a truck, you're mad...

What, no Allen Sherman?

(To the tune of "Down by the riverside")
When you go to the delicatessen store
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst

I repeat what I just said before!
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst!

Oh eat the corned beef if you must
The pickled herring you can trust
And the lox puts you in orbit A-OK (A-OK)!
But that big hunk of liverwurst
Has been there since October First
And today is the 23rd of May!

So when you go to the delicatessen store
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the liverwurst

It'll make your insides awful sore!
Don't buy the liverwurst
Don't buy the li-ver-wurst!

The return of THAT "song"... only not:

"Not the Sunscreen Song"

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '98,
People often ask me if I have any advice to offer.
And when they do, I tell them this:

If you're unsure about what you're going to do with your life, try to remember some of the most interesting people didn't know what they were going to do at age twenty-two, or even at forty. And nearly all of them are unemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.
Also understand that friends will come and go. This is because of your irritating personality. Nobody likes you. So if the only thing getting you thought the day is the misconception that people like you, end it now. [BANG!]
Learn how to smoke Winnie Blues. If you're under age, get an older kid to buy them for you.
Get to really know your parents, they're good for money. Milk them, then put them in an old people's home.
Travel as often as you can. Live in New York City once, live in Northern California once.
Never live in Adelaide.... It's a hole.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't; maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. If you do have children, lock them under the stairs.
Do one thing each day that scares you: sing, dance, jump in front of a car.
Do not trust anyone who tries to update Shakespeare for the kids.... and if you see Quindon Tarver in the street, punch him in the face for me.

Brother and Sister, we can be free--
[SMAKK!]

If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember, you're probably fatter than you think. Maybe you should consider an eating disorder.
Don't worry too much about the future.
If you're nervous about an exam, ring up your school to schedule time, and make a bomb threat.
If you're a girl, lie about period pains to get out of anything you don't want to do.
Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with richer parents is getting private tuition.

Shop-lift as often as you can. Shopping centres factor shop-lifting into their prices, so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for free.
When you're on work experience, steal a cab-charge, and take a taxi to Perth.
Wear sunscreen... but only if it's that coconut oil that gives you cancer.
Keep your old love letters. If you see an old lover in the street, try to run them over in your car.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or else by the time you're thirty-five, you'll look like Greg Matthews.
Remember you can wear your underwear four times without washing: forwards, backwards, inside-out forwards, inside-out backwards!

Brother and Sister, we can be free, whoah,
Brother and Sister, we can believe,
We can believe....
[BANG-BANG-BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!]

Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres. It's a free country. It's public space.
Skateboard on War Memorials.
Smoke in your school uniform.
Set off car alarms.
Plant drugs on a teacher.
Join a cult.
Spike drinks.
Don't flush public toilets.
Remember, only you will truly take care of you, so carry a concealed weapon.
Don't wear your 'P' plates.
Walk around with your eye lids rolled back.
Touch your tongue on the tip of batteries.
Be open to new love.
Remember, you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex.
Expect others to support you, it's easy to get the dole and still do cash in hand work.
Respect your elders: when your grandma dies, have her stuffed.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when you are knee-capped by a loan shark.
Get revenge, don't forgive anyone for anything.
But most of all, don't aim too high. You're probably only suited to an office or factory job.

And trust me on the Winnie Blues.

How about "Chainsaw Love" by Psycho Superstars?

"I'm gonna' chase you down with my chainsaw
I'm gonna' cut off your legs
I'm gonna' cut off your face
I'm gonna' cut you into outer space

Those aliens pick me up
And screw around with my brain
If I didn't know better I would say
They're driving me insane

(Chorus)
Chainsaw love, baby, it's rough
Better to know who is tough
Drive into babies and puppies too
Shoot up the town tell em' what to do

Cut up the aliens with my chainsaw
Cut up the aliens, wrong side of the law
Cut up the goverment, cut em' through
Cut up everything, just to sue

(Repeat Chorus)

I'm gonna' cut you with my chainsaw
Gonna' cut you, hand in hand
Speard your guts across the land
And when I'm down with you
Gonna' cut your kiddies too

Gonna' cut everything!
Gonna' cut whatever the wind brings
Do what you want, ain't no liar
Gonna' set your fish on fire

(Repeat Chorus)

I love my chainsaw
Just me and my chainsaw
Canabilize the neighbor's dog
Make love to my chainsaw"

Pretty sure that counts as twisted.

Anybody like that Weird Al song to the tune of American Pie?
My, my, this here Anakin guy,
Maybe Vader someday later but he's still a small fry.
He left his home and kissed his mother goodbye.
Saying, "Now I'm gonna be a Jedi."
"Now I'm gonna be a Jedi."
Anybody know the rest of the words?

Google for "The Saga Begins".

I just listened to a funny Weird Al song, Ode To A Superhero, sung to the tune of Billy Joel's Piano Man and is about Spider-Man. Great song!

Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn't have been any shyer
Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him
Even if his hair was on fire

But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls
And he's swingin' all over town

La li la, li de da
La la, li le la da dum

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a hero now
And there's evil doers to fight

Now Harry the rich kid's a friend of his
Who horns in on Mary Jane
But to his great surprise it seems she prefers guys
Who can kiss upside down in the rain

"With great power comes great responsibility"
That's the catch phrase of old Uncle Ben
If you missed it, don't worry, they'll say the line
Again and again and again

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dom

Now Norman's a billionare scientist
Who never had time for his son
But then something went screw and before you knew he
Was trying to kill everyone

And he's ridin' around on that glider thing
And he's throwin' that weird pumpkin bomb
Yes, he's wearin' that dumb Power Rangers mask
But he's scarier without it on

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause you're brave and you're strong and so limber now
But where'd you come up with those tights?

It's a pretty sad day at the funeral
Norman Osborn has bitten the dust
And I heard Harry's said he wants Spider-Man dead
Aw, but his buddy Pete he can trust

Oh, and M.J. is all hot for Peter now
Aw, but Peter, he just shuts her down
Mary Jane, don't you cry, you can give it a try
Again when the sequal comes 'round

Oh, la la la, di de da
La la, di di da da dum

Sling us a web, you're the Spider-Man
Sling us a web tonight
'Cause we all sure could use us a hero now
And we think that you'll do all right