It's that time of the year again.

Why is it that this contest generates large amounts of derision yet still remains popular? I can't understand it. Sure, it's kitsch, it's tacky at times, but everyone seems to have a great time. My personal favourite moment was in 1998 (I think the UK were hosting the contest that year) with the German entry, I think it was called "Guido Loves You" - that man couldn't get away from the audience, the scenery scaffolding (thank goodness he didn't shatter any teeth trying to chew it)... and the instrumental break with the cow bells has to be seen to be believed. He did remarkably well too that year, which I think was won by the over-hyped Dana International (of Israel).

Yeah, Guildo Horn was great.

But this year - please don't vote for Germany! It's the evil Ralph Siegel again and he must lose.

Guildo Horn was probably the best thing to happen to the Eurovision Song Contest for a long, long time, IMHO.

Terry Wogan, that world-famous Irishman, was being interviewed on Radio 2 this afternoon by Steve Wright, and was saying how this year the Estonians were extremely proud to be hosting the contest, and that they, like so many other countries, simply didn't get the whole joke about the contest the way we Brits apparently do.

At least the Eurovision Song Contest was good for some things:

Terry Wogan's one night of unbridled sarcasm and mock xenophobia (fuelled, allegedly, with a few glasses of Bailey's and ice).
Keeping ex-Pop Idol contestants off the dole queue (Jessica from Pop Idol is Britain's singer this year).
Making Celine Dion a household name (at least in Switzerland).
Introducing the world to RiverDance.
Making a serious dent in the annual expenditure of the treasury of the Republic of Ireland by virtue of the fact that they just kept on winning it (and subsequently hosting it) in the 90s. (That'll learn 'em... )
and of course....
"My lovely horse running through the..... FIELD...."

Guildo Horn was probably the best thing to happen to the Eurovision Song Contest for a long, long time, IMHO.

Before him, the event was basically DEAD in Germany. Which wasn't actually a bad thing.

Guildo Horn with his Schlager-parodies and his devoted Brian-like fandom changed it completely. His producer made the entry in 2000 with "Wadde hadde dudde da?", also quite successful.

Oh, and from what I've heard, this year Slovenia sends three transvestites to Estonia.

Hmmmm... guess the Slovenians are also in on the joke.

No wonder why the GP is so popular amongst the gay.

You gonna be watching it tonight, Electron? I actually hope Britain does well, but it would be interesting to see how the other countries vote in the light of the recent European elections.

I don't want to endanger my higher brain functions. Thus I will not watch the whole thing, only a few bits. Maybe. J

Voting is a difficult issue. There will be the traditional invasion of Austria and Switzerland, the battle for the phones on Mallorca, Turkey will get 12 points from Germany and a few less from Greece and Cyprus - and everything happens without the Netherlands, like the World Cup.

Found this link on Google. Looks like some entries may be really terrible.

The story so far:

Cyprus: A boygroup. Yuck!
UK: Not bad, but the background singers were too loud.
Austria: Ricky Martin for the VERY poor.

Greece: Login problems - they always wanted the password. And didn't get it. TV commentary: "You can see that he has studied engineering."
Spain: Plastic pop.
Croatia: Eyecandy with a whip.

Funniest: Greece
Best: UK

Russia: Hey, even the Mafia has a boygroup now!
Estonia: Nice looking plastic pop from Sweden.
Macedonia: Alex's younger sister. Good.

(Note to myself: I must be really insane to watch it all.)

Israel: Yes, a song with a message.
Switzerland: Certainly not bad, despite being sung in French.
Sweden: Uh, obviously sung live. Naa...

I'm thankful I'm not watching it this time - I've got a report due in next Friday, you see....

Good to see you like the UK entry, the unfortunately named Jessica Garlick.

Are you watching the broadcast with the Terry Wogan commentary? Fun, isn't it?

Finland: Plastic pop again. They should have sent the infamous hiphoppers R.I.P.Uli with "Helsinki is Hell". This is finnish but not the end.
Denmark: Once again - plastic pop. It becomes slowly boring.
Bosnia: 80's Rock'n Roll.

No, I'm watching it here in .de. And yes, the "k" doesn't save that name.

Belchium: The guy did nearly fell from the stage doing his acrobatics. Not bad for a pomfrit.
France: The big ballad.
Germany: Ok, she is blind, but Stevie Wonder wouldn't have stomped along with the boom-boom-boom like she did!

Türkey: Ethno-pop, very oriental.
Malta: "Nice girl, nice song, nice costume."
Romania: A better combination than Miss Piggy and Kermit. Big emotions like from a musical.

Slovenia: Oh ... my ... Never, and I repeat it, NEVER fly with the Slovenian airline! "And surely you noticed that the ladies are gentlemen."
Latvia: JLo for Eastern Europe, but without the b*tt. Interesting change of costume too.
Lithuania: What - the - frell - was - that? That guy should have stayed with theology and not started to "sing". And Pinocchio is a far better dancer. Straight from the golden age of the GP.

I think that's all of them.

By the way, your comment about Slovenia airline allegedly rang true about Singapore airlines as well - at least according to a genitourinary medicine consultant I once spoke to... which was a shock, as I'd just come back from a flight with that airline. AND they had the nerve to put a large picture of one of their stewardesses on a billboard in the middle of our street a few months later! It's torture, I tell ya!

By the way, Electron, I'm confused - what does "GP" mean?

Hm, Latvia was more Gloria Estefan than JLo. Sorry.


And now I'm very curious about the outcome.

GP = Grand Prix = Eurovision Song Contest

Oh.

Well, it's looking like a two-horse race between Malta and Latvia so far.

I think what's telling about it so far is that the Russian Federation have given the Slovenian Female Impersonators twelve points. Yet another country in on the joke, it seems.

Argh, they just said that due some foggy rule Germany will participate in the contest next year too, even if "we" make it only to the last place.

But the votings are really surprising this year. The old alliances are no longer valid.

It seems the Babes Brigade are the outright winners this year...

I dunno... Malta voted Cyprus 12 and UK 10 yet again... some things never change...

Now only Lithuania can make a surprise decision. But...

It's a close call...

Latvia did it!

Congratulations to Latvia! Are there guild members from there?

Incredible - joint third for the UK. The girl Garlick done well.

But hey, well done Latvia. See you all there next year.

So...what does the winner of this contest get, anyhow? Songwriting lessons?

Apparently, they get fame, some fortune, and the country carries the economic burden of hosting next year's contest.

I personally find it ironic that the Eurovision Song Contest occurs in the same week as the Ivor Novello Awards for Songwriting.

Sigh ..... I missed it all because I was enjoying a weekend in that capital of British culture ... Blackpool.

You lucky, lucky man, Fingers. I've never been to Blackpool myself...

Actually Sven - wrong sex but I don't mind

Ummm how can I describe it? I suppose the nearest concept is - the eurovision song contest

I think you need to experience blackpool for a day even if its just once in your life (beware - there should be a sign on the road as you enter: Abandon all good taste ye who enter here) British seaside at its best and worst all together .....

Sorry.

Sven,

it's not a problem - no insult was taken I suppose Fingers is a neutral name - and I had given you no indication whether I was male or female anyway ..

Germany - one point
Germany - one point
Germany - one point

Hahahahaha!

The largest tabloid here titled today: "Did we deserve this?"

My answer is of course: "YES!"

(Side note: The commercials for the GP CD are now running on TV here. The winner must have come completely unexpected because there isn't even a short clip of the Latvian entry playing, just Germany and Spain. How embarassing...)

Now, after the debacle it's time to lick the wounds and to find out who's responsible for the glorious 17 points. The fighting has already begun and it's interesting to see how quickly some opinions have changed in just a few hours.

Corinna May, the singer:
"I don't want to land on the first place just because I'm blind." - "If they all had known that I'm blind the result would have been much better." - Yeah right, most of the audience certainly wasn't blind and saw what's going on.
"The song is wonderful!" - "It must have been the bad song." - Yeah right, she should have known that before. She's blind, not deaf.
"My voice is ok." - "I got a cold." - Yeah right, but there was no difference.

Ralph Siegel, the composer:
"Everything is perfect - sound, lighgting, camera work..." - "The sound was terrible!" - Yeah right, they had shown the rehearsals before and it sounded exactly like the real thing later.
"Corinna is a wonderful performer." - "Corinna's performance was really bad today." - Yeah right, she always did the stomping and microphone torturing. He should have noticed this already a long time ago. Why not?

And then there is Dieter Bohlen, the infamous Modern Talking head and enemy of Siegel:
"The song was rubbish as expected, the melody sh*t, the whole thing was cruel and sick. The 17 points only came because of Corinna's blindness and pity. Siegel should retire or go to the Musikantenstadl. His time in the pop music is over, in fact it ended already years ago."

Funny, isn't it?

Come back, Guildo Horn, all is forgiven.

It's a little funny - the Times TV critic was saying how, in the light of Britain's allying with the US of A, they seemd to be getting a distinct lack of points from the other countries, particularly countries who gave us one point. (It's only a game, man!) I think he wanted Garlick to win, but doesn't anyone?

I say Darius Danesh, the "Pap Idle" wannabe, should have been our singer, personally. But then again we're both from the same part of the world, sort of.

The fun continues. There have been some errors in counting the votes... Ok, it's not as bad as in Florida but nevertheless after a recounting Germany's dud dropped to #22. And from what I've heard there is even more to come, maybe even a nice little scandal.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

It's that time of the year again.

But this year - please don't vote for Germany! It's the evil Ralph Siegel again and he must lose.

Waitasecond, I just had a dejavu from last year. Argh! Yes, Siegel is back.

Here are the videos. This time Austria plays the funny card.

WOO-HOO!

Another chance to laugh at foreigners and ourselves!

Judging by an interview from Riga on Radio Five Live last night, the Latvians really are taking this seriously.

The Jury doesn't like the fact that Alf Poier did the Michael Jackson Maneuver quite often during his rehearsal. Har har har.

http://www.ndrtv.de/grandprix/teilnehmer/2003_ve_gerd_show.html
http://www.ndr2.de/onair/morgen/grandprix_gerdshow.html

Looks like Tatu may get disqualified before they even get to the event:

BBC news

"They reportedly asked whether the performers would have to wear clothes on stage."

I'm pretty broad minded about nudity, but come on! This is Eurovision, not a Rockbitch concert.

Darn. Another potential winning bet foiled.

Btw, here's the official site of the "contest".

The Tatu girls said that Lou from Germany looks like an old witch. True, completely true. If you compare Lou with the infamous Russian witch Baba Yaga (especially the one from the children's movies) you'll immediately notice the striking resemblance. Last weeks's Botox injections (for Lou, not Baba Yaga!) will not help.

From the BBC link above:
The organisers said the show was aimed at families and that nothing could be shown that could bring the competition into disrepute.

LOOOL! Aimed at families! Bring the competition into disrepute! LOOOL!

There is no "Dana" - only LOOOL!

I heard that apparently the person reading out the results from Britain tonight will be none other than that annoying Scots lady Lorraine "I Love Darius" Kelly!

Welcome to another Nitcentral live event!

Iceland:

Nice pop song, nice young lady, rather stuffed background singers.

Austria:

Hahaha! Too bad that most people wont understand it. Instead of the Michael Jackson maneuver Alf Poier did the Elvis pelvis.

Who the heck created the stage?

Ireland:

Flat pop after today's standards.

Turkey:

Bellydancing, ethno pop. Twists her face like Cordy.

Malta:

Well, compatible with popular culture again. Harem trousers and piano.

Bosnia-Herzegovina:

Did she hire the local Balkan mafia family as background singers? Oh, mixed language, big emotions, big accent.

Portugal:

Interesting dress, as the commentator said. And she can sing.

Croatia:

Dance act with not much fabric.

Cyprus:

Flat ethno pop with double eye-candy.

Germany:

The horror! The song isn't bad at all but the botox mummy and her friends...

Several countries have been treated with invasions so they vill haf to vote for us.

Russia:

Tatu sung in Russian and obviously live. What, no scandal?

Spain:

Another Idol/Superstar/whatever product. Nothing important.

Israel:

The mediterranean Ricky Martin and his five girlies.

50% done. Interview time. Forced optimism everywhere. Uhhh...

Netherlands:

A very intriguing dance formation in a strange outfit. Normal pop.

United Kingdom:

I don't know but their singing abilities aren't so great. Or did she get a cold from her costume? Oh-oh. Sorry.

Ukraine:

Unholy sh*t, what the heck is this? A wannabe Pavarotti on vodka? Arnie should get him for stealing his line.

Greece:

As the Pythons said: "And the price goes to the girl with the biggest...!" Not bad pop at all, this amazon.

Norway:

Sounds like a cheap Elton John copy, just with more hair.

France:

Nice indeed, with influence from the former colonies.

Poland:

I sell those nice black leather coats. And cigarets+vodka to get such a voice. Multilingual pain in pink.

Latvia:

Oh-oh again. Cheap plastic pop. Poor guys, forced to "sing".

Belgium:

Ethno pop in a fantasy language. LOTR on drugs^Wfries. Next year please a Klingon opera.

Estonia:

Painful pseudo-Rock-Pop. Imitation does not help.

Romania:

Vlad, please, deal with them. Now! Pure trash. You can't play CDs on a gramophone.

Sweden:

Normal pop, like many many many others before.

Slovenia:

Same as above, except for that the costume designer deserves to be brought before a Cardassian court (old style).

That's all, folks.

Most of them were easy listening, we had trash, horror, strangeness and fun. Difficult to predict who will win.

Voting time!

The votes:

Iceland: Excellent vote! They liked their fellow vikings, strange humor and the red troll.

Austria: Strange as expected.

Ireland: Ballad country votes for Norway.

Turkey: Interesting choices.

Malta: They like ice.

Bosnia: Confusion! It's a very close race again.

Portugal: More Austrian fans.

Croatia: Russia is back in the race.

Cyprus: 12 to Greece as always.

Germany: Predictable.

Russia (Jury vote): Interesting.

Spain: Indeed a close race.

Israel: Immigrant votes.

Wow, a hot evening with three on the top!

I'm actually watching Law And Order on the other side, but channel hopped to hear:
"The Dutch voters are traditionally as mad as a bucket of frogs."
gotta love Wogan's commentary.

What's with Swedish spokeswoman's string vest?

The votes, part 2:

Netherlands: Only 1 for Russia.

United Kingdom: Russia seems out of the race at this point.

Ukraine: An expectable twist concerniung Russia and Turkey.

Greece: Cyprus as always. And Russia.

Norway: Nicely mixed.

France: Belgium get closer again.

Poland: 12 for Belgium, only 2 for Turkey.

Latvia: Neighbor's vote for Russia. And Belgium leads!

Belgium: 12 for their main rivals.

Estonia: Finally Latvia gets a few points. And Russia of course too.

Romania: Nicely done.

Sweden: WTF? 10 for Germany and none for Belgium!

Slovenia: That's it.


And the winner is:


Turkey!

If I'm right then the UK is the only nation with zero points today. Not even one from Malta.

Austria was surprisingly good. Hehehe.

Ah, so Turkey won. Not sure why. See what you mean about the face twisting , even though I've no idea who Cordy is.

Hey, we got nul points! BRILLIANT!
(OK, the little I saw of our entry didn't move me, (I lie, it moved my finger to the remote button), but I didn't think it was that bad.)

OK, so I actually sat back and watched this one for a change. Here are actual notes made during my viewing of the show:

The Songs:

Iceland: nice formuaic power soft-rock, uplifting. I liked it. Nothing much else special about it. Singer looked a bit like Britney Spears. 3.5/5.

Austria: camp, silly, fun, but pretty stoopid-like. But there can be always one. Lead looks like the ghost of Jim Varney. Also 3/5.

Ireland: Ah, the old "enemy". Nice pop ditty with all the formulaic song elements in place. Can't see it topping Iceland myself. Singer looks like a Darius wannabe. Ends rather unsatisfyingly. 3.5/5.

Turkey: Oh yes. Yes. Oh yeeeeeessss. Ahem. Incredibly catchy tune. Nice performance and rapping, shame about the actual singing itself. Shades of modern R'n'B and a hint of Bollywood too. But the dancing.... 4/5.

Malta: Pop-like in the Icelandic or Irish vein, nice harmonising too (i.e. they can sing in tune). A bit bland and forgetable, though. 3/5.

Bosnia & Herzegovina: Terry Wogan commented that Tom Jones could have sued the writers for ripping off "Sex Bomb" - not an inaccurate statement, but still a punchy and mean Europop ditty. Surely a front runner at this stage. 4/5.

Portugal: Surprisingly good slow rock number with a bit of 90s muscle (i.e. think "Theme from 'Enterprise'") if you like that sort of thing. Singer essentially Christina Aguilera on steroids. I liked it. 3.5/5.

Croatia: the inevitable Steps wannabes wanting to be Britney et al. Think Paula Abdul without the great dancing, i.e. groundbreaking in 1997. 3.5/5.

Cyprus: At last - Latino Pop! Only just like every other Latino Pop act you've seen in the 80s. Danceable, though. No cheesy key change, thankfully. 4/5 from me.

Germany: Electron won't like it if I give these people kind words. It's a song that manages to use the word "gay" and mean it most sincerely. Yes, it's also a Steps/ABBA soundalike but it's got a great catchy tune to boot. It's just too darn difficult to dislike. Sorry, 'Lec - it gets the thumbs up. 4/5.

Russia: Getting the hype out of the way, this was rather disappointing. A rocking tune that somehow fails to satisfy. I reckon they are holding the performance back as it were. But it's different to most of the rest, so it'll probably do well on those merits and on nothing else whatsoever. 3/5.

Spain: Wogan described the singer as "Kylie in dreadlocks" which is a bit unfair. Generally bland and nothing much to compare to others except how similar it sounds to Croatia and Cyprus's efforts. Still, a welcome break from Tatu. 2.5/5.

Israel: Ooh, now this is different. Very East-Mediterranean feel to this old-style cabaret act, and scores highly for that purpose. Great dance performance too - to paraphrase Joe Strummer, Sharon won't like it. Fantastic. 4.5/5 and a great way to end the first half.

Netherlands: Promising start akin to Iceland, with uplifting lyrics. But we've seen this all before, surely. Might not win. 3/5.

UK: Having seen this one on "Top of the Pops" yesterday I didn't have high hopes for it. On performance, my hopes were even less. No amount of revealing back will hide lady Jemini's out-of-tune start (but it does get better). Bloke Jemini is better still, but no Cliff Richard. They just about survive the key change and other choruses, but no cries of "Come on, Latvia!" can save this otherwise uninspiring UK ditty. Bye bye baby. 1.5/5.

Ukraine: From old-hands UK to new upstarts Ukraine (see what they've done here?!) with a singer trying to outdo Russell Watson and Michael Bolton in the belting-it-out stakes. Too much key-change, need for sex-change, mister? I hope he doesn't rupture something. Accomplished slow/fast/slow moments, if it is all a bit too histrionic. 3/5.

Greece: A bit downtempo now, which might be in its favour (political votes notwithstanding). Great harmonies giving it a jazzy late-80s feel to proceedings. It might win. Perhaps. 4/5.

Norway: They're not afraid to slow things down, McCartney-style. But seriously, it really does sound like a bizarre collaboration between the Beatles and, er, some Norwegian band (but I guess the Norwegians would... geddit?). Good raw singing from the heart. Easily the best one so far. Non points? Non chance! 5/5.

Freedom France: Another slow ballad in rapid succession, but feeling a little more laid-back and relaxed and summery and Dido-esque. Listenable and will probably do well. 3.5/5.

Poland: Whoo - a political song now! Very forward. And in German and Russian in addition to their natural Polish (sorry). Also slow and 'Enterprise'-like which might go against it, and a bit overblown and grandiose. It will doubtless get the Red vote. But what's this - lead singer doing a Guildo Horn and running into the audience?! And what does he think he's doing to female singer at the end? Presumably he was overcome by the cunning lyrics (OK I'll stop now). 4/5 because I liked it.

Latvia: What's this all about, then? Good lifting lyrics, I guess, and upbeat. Not sure quite what it's all about, though - other than that it's not that special. 3/5.

Bel***m: Another oddball entry, apparently sung in a made-up language (so it'll no doubt get loads of votes). Accordian? Bagpipes?! It works, though, but one wonders if they should also have a trombone or a viola (or was it a violin?) to complete the oddball set. It's new age, it's funky, it's got a drum machine (probably) and it's not that bad. 3.5/5.

Estonia: Now this is more like it! Sounding like an 80s tribute new-wave indie band (see what they've done here? The song is called "Eighties Coming Back") and also looking the part. Dammit, I'm hooked on this one, so I'm obliged to score them highly. 4/5.

Romania: The obligatory drum'n'bass "street" entry with some otherwise uninspiring melodies and lyrics on top. But good performance and eminently danceable. 4/5.

Sweden: Normal service now resumed. A traditional ABBA/Steps hybrid Eurodisco anthem, but even by these standards it's same-old, same-old and in fact quite forgettable. 2.5/5.

Slovenia: And finally a pretty upbeat Eurovision-like entry to wrap things up. I give it 3/5 and then head off to empty my bladder.

So these are the results of the Sven of Nine Jury:

Iceland... one point.
Poland... two points.
Romania... three points.
Bosnia & Herzegovina... four points.
Estonia... five points.
Turkey... six points.
Germany... seven points.
Greece... eight points.
Israel... ten points.
And twelve points go to... Norway!

Some more comments from the great man, Terry Wogan:
On one of the acts: comparing the lead singer to "Toyah Wilcox from 'I'm a Celebrity... I Can't Tell Stork from Butter.'"
Bosnia's spokeswoman fluffs her results service: "Don't worry - you're fired."
Portugal's lady reads out her country's voting results: "Is she still married to Burt Baccharach?"
On Britain's record-breaking points tally this year: "I think Britain is suffering from... post-Iraqi backlash." No they're not. Their song was rubbish. But if true, that'll teach them to invade a country without considering the consequences.
Norway announces their voting results: "Is he wearing a clip-on tie?"
On Poland giving douze points to the Bel***m: "You know, sometimes I think I went to a different contest."

Some highlights as noted in my list of programme notes:
Good overall ceremony, novel use of the plasticine captions instead of all that CG rubbish.
Shame about the hosts, their banter and their costumes. Their scpiptwriter should be shot.
Lorraine Kelly in champagne-swilling shocker!
UK gives 12 points to Ireland much to Kelly's delight. (Maybe she thought Darius was singing.) All part of our plan to ruin the Irish economy by forcing them to host each and every Eurovision Song Contest for ever.
Slovenian results spokesman looking like disgraced Blue Peter presenter Richard Bacon (and all ready to have another "snort" by the looks of things). And his final vote results, whereby the Turkish babes "snatch" victory [You're fired, Nine - everyone].

It's Britain's worst ever showing at the Song Contest - not a single point. But we won't get relegated and be forced to contest in the now two-stage Song Contest next year (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!) in Turkey - for we're a Permanent Member of the European Broadcasting Union Sercurity Council or something.

Ah well, we can console ourselves by watching Turkey's entry one more time. Amazingly it sounds even more catchy the second time around.

I only caught the last few results and the winning song, which I thought was appalling! Maybe it was better in the actual performance but the backing group were well out of tune in their victory rendition.

I liked the guy who was about to give the final, crucial, set of results saying, "OK, here we go," and promptly running off camera!

This has got to be the fastest growing board with the fewest participants in Nitcentral history. Congratulations to Electron, Sven, Sophie and Callie Sullivan.

"It's all one song." - Neil Young

Oh, these North Americans - they just don't understand...

But seriously... you should have seen this board last year.

Incredibly, my parents will be going to Istanbul in July for a week or so. Without me! Who knows, they might even bump into the Eurovision winners doing their thang on the street impromptu. And maybe they'll bring her back home. (I'll probably bump into Jemini, the UK's entry, on the street this summer too... for completely different reasons. )

And the final results from the European judges are:

Turkey	167
Belgium	165
Russia	164
Norway	123
Sweden	107
Austria	101
Poland	90
Iceland	81
Spain	81
Romania	73
Ireland	53
Germany	53
Netherlands	45
Ukraine	30
Croatia	29
Bosnia-Herzegovina	27
Greece	25
France	19
Israel	17
Cyprus	15
Estonia	14
Portugal	13
Slovenia	7
Latvia	5
Malta	4
United Kingdom	0

These are the results of the K-Men jury:

Eurovision Song Contest board: 101k!

I said way back on 27/5/02:

It's a little funny - the Times TV critic was saying how, in the light of Britain's allying with the US of A, they seemd to be getting a distinct lack of points from the other countries, particularly countries who gave us one point. (It's only a game, man!)

Prophetic words indeed.

See what you mean about the face twisting , even though I've no idea who Cordy is. Sophie

She looked like a very annoyed/insulted Cordelia from Buffy/Angel.

Germany: Electron won't like it if I give these people kind words. It's a song that manages to use the word "gay" and mean it most sincerely. Yes, it's also a Steps/ABBA soundalike but it's got a great catchy tune to boot. It's just too darn difficult to dislike. Sorry, 'Lec - it gets the thumbs up. 4/5. Sven

I have to admit that the song is indeed not bad at all. But singer and performance were uhhh...

She looked like a very annoyed/insulted Cordelia from Buffy/Angel

I thought she looked more like J-Lo. From the front, of course. But sounded much worse. Still, the dancing....

It's Eurovision: The Next Generation!
(But at least the performers will have some decent talent... insert your own joke here.)

Changed my mind. Our song was that bad.
And I've taken a real dislike to the expression on Bloke-Jemini's face in the now obligatory still of him feeling Girl-Jemini's arse.

And did they loose his costume in transit?

Reading the reactions on the BBC web site, the concensus is that the song deserved nul points.

I laughed at one guy who suggested the nationalities of the entrants should be kept secret! Even if that were possible, which it isn't, I think the game might be given away as soon as someone sings 'Ich habe eine ding dong!'
Ah, that would be the Irish entry...

And girl Jemini was making the excuse that there were sound problems when their song started. Of course there were sound problems when the song started - that'll be the off-key singing.

I managed to acquire low-quality .wma recordings of some of the entries on one of the Euro sites recently. The Austrian entry was fantastic - I mean, I now think it should have won. But compared to their display on the night, the Turkish entry was actually rather average. Still, there's that dancing....

Watch it all for yourself:

Instead of the videos like before they now have clips from the contest on the site.

Actually, does anyone else here think that the Austrian entry's chorus sounds a lot like "Hey Jude"? (No, I won't insert the tasteless joke here.)

No tasteless joke? Look here!

LOL, even though mein Deutsch ist ein bisschen rusty.

I'll finish my commentary on this event by summing up the UK's entry in three words: shocking and awful.

ITV Teletext summed it up this morning: they said that Jemini's single is selling "by the handful"!

This can't be blamed on the Iraq war for sure. J

I dunno. You'd be ammazed what people can do when they set their minds on something.

n.p. - Daisies of the Galaxy - Eels

So if they blame it on Gulf War II, can we invade Europe, claiming that the Eurovision Song Contest is 1) a violation of all the listeners' human rights, and 2) a weapon of mass destruction?

And then lose at the Olympics? Are you mad?

1) yes
2) yes
3) What doesn't kill us makes us just stronger, you weak American.

News from the front: Russia launches Eurovision appeal

I didn't think Eurovision had any appeal, except for the morbid type -- you know, like slowing down to watch the traffic accident...

Exactly that is the point, ScottN. We don't want to see anybody win, we want to see them fail miserably. We want to see horrible costumes, clumsy dancing, bad voices, tears and more.

I was punning on the "News from the front".

Poor old Jemini - they couldn't even win Radio 2's Worst Week Of The Week Award (awarded weekly on a week by week basis).

They lost out to 'Cat stuck in a plug hole' and 'Stupid America robber dressed as Tigger'.

(awarded weekly on a week by week basis) ...
Forgive me, Sophie, I just can't resist ... could you maybe be MORE redundant?! (nyuk-nyuk-nyuk ... [slap!] Oooh!)

It's a catchphrase from the radio show, Derf.

You be jerkin' my chain ... a TV show wid a catchphrase like dat? I mean, dat's da height of poor grammar!!

BTW, I work for a non-profit making organisation.
Which didn't set out to be a non-profit making organisation, if you get my drift.
So if you could avoid using the word redundant...

Okay, I SAID TV, but the Gordon's Gin is talkin' now ... I MEANT radio!

If you'd have said "I work for a non-profit 'making-out' organisation" ... WOW! I wanna work there!!

Well, that was certainly a redundant conversation.


Here are the latest results of the Music board jury:

Eurovision Song Contest: 125K.

That concludes the results of the Music board jury.

I disagree!

Slaps all the jury members with a shoe.

An interesting footnote: weeks after the end of this year's Eurovision, the city of Liverpool was named European Capital City of Culture 2008.
Yes! Liverpool: home to the Beatles, Roger McGough, Ken Dodd, John Peel, Cilla Black, Tom Baker, Sir Simon Rattle, Wayne "Roonaldo" Rooney, Ricky Tomlinson, Leonard Rossiter, Peter Sissons.... oh yes, and Jemini.

Seems we got the last laugh after all.

We was robbed. The Scousers have left Birmingham up on four bricks!

Not that it matters to us Scots. We lift our kilts and say "Hoots Mon!" to such petty squabbles.

Besides, we'll always have Glasgow '90.

It's that time of the year again.

Again. This time in Istambul.

Spain comes first: Generic Latin pop. Uhhh...

Austria: A boygroup from a TV casting show, trying to incorporate nearly all known boygroup essentials into their performance. They succeed. Yuck.

Norway: Gone (from the memory) in 60 seconds.

France: Another TV superstar casting result. Rejected!

Serbia-Montenegro: Balkan pop. Nothing new.

Malta: Warning! They were produced by Ralph Siegel. Oh, opera influences...

The Netherlands: A reunited boygroup?! WTF? Testicle problems or why were they singing so high?

Germany: Maximilian Nepomuk Mutzke - what a name and what eyebrows. Was casted in Stefan Raab's ("Waddehaddeduddeda") TV show and got his song from him. Bribes the locals by singing a verse in Turkish.

Albania: Well, I am feeling crazy after this song.

Ok, this "pun" only works if you know the song title.

Ukraina: Were the Cossacks trying to imitate last year's Turkish success? More leather and whips than in a Xena episode.

Croatia: Julio Iglesias II.

Bosnia-Herzegovina: Nice girls, forget the guy and his "singing". Still a very poor country, only very small costumes. Not that I'm complaining...

Belgium: I'll continue eating fries nevertheless.

Russia: Painted breakdancers and Julia Lavigne. They build better rockets.

Macedonia: Uhhhhh...

Greece: I think this is called Sirtaki pop. Me liked the costume change of the dancers very good.

Iceland: A dramatic ballad. Very mixed.

Ireland: He's got a big future as a bouncer at a music club (his current job).

Poland: My ears hurt and it's not even over yet.

United Kingdom: This time they'll probably make a better result than last year with the last place.

Cyprus: Nicely sung.

Turkey: Odd combination of "Madness" and folk.

Romania: Me don't like male dancers - just plain horrible. Singing girl could run around in the next Mad Max movie in this costume.

Sweden: Me like it. Really. Nice legs and she can sing louder than the music.

Btw, alone the presenters and their costumes are a good reason for not admitting Turkey to the EU. Of course Germany would have been kicked out there many years ago then for Siegel's "music"...

I'm going to award the first prize this evening to the girl with the biggest t*ts.

Narrowly avoids the 26-ton weight.

I wholeheartly agree. Hey look, bellydancing!

Yeah, but belly dancing to Wagner music would have fullfilled some old dreams of mine.

What is this now? Lord of the Döner Dance in Turkish?

You know I prefer partially clothed ladies doing that. They dance and I'll sing.

Shhh, the voting results are coming in!

Counting the votes from 36 (!) participating countries will take some time. The show is already running for two hours and I doubt that they will be finished in 60 minutes.

Must have been all the leather: Ukraina has won. The predictions here were correct.

The final results are here. The ex-Soviet block, the Balkan connection and the Greek cartel worked fine, only the Scandinavian gang had some coordination problems.