What's the purpose of a music board here? This is a place for nitpicking, but no one's nitpicking songs. Instead, people are just talking about whatever kind of music they like. All fine and dandy, but I really don't see the point of having it here.

You misspelled Nitpicking! (Nitpciking). That's a nit!

Or how about those incessant "role-playing" topics? (no nits there, I would think)

However,I have a song NIT:
The Jackson 5 song I'll Be There (is that right?) ...
Micheal sings "Just look over your shoulders, honey" ...

The new Paul McCartney double disc set Wingspan has two nits. Actually three. First of all, several songs on it, are not songs by Wings. They either predate or come after the existence of the band. The liner notes credit "Coming Up" as a McCartney solo track. It isn't. It's the live version, which was Wings. (God knows Paul pushed the studio version hard enough.) Saxophone player Thadues Richard is refered to as Thadens Richard.

On the back of Blue Oyster Cult's Heaven Forbid album the word "despair" is mispelled as "dispair" on the song "Power Underneath Despair".

I got a few more nits I've mentioned elsewhere that I'll happily repeat if this isn't enough. Anything to justify the board.

kcirderf, if you don't want to discuss songs then simply don't come to this section. I'm not interested in the role playing boards but, I don't go over there and complain about their existence. Ignore what you're not interested in, it's just that simple.

I only called them "incessant" 'cause I like using those "big words". I have no problem with the role-playing boards. I wish them long-life and prosperity. I most humbly recant any inference of such blather.

Wet hair, blather, rinse.

I'd blather be rich.

I'd blather be skiing.

I'd blather be a sparrow than a snail.

Wouldn't you really blather have a Buick?

On the whole, I'd blather be in Philadelphia.

Or would you blather be a fish?

Just out of curiosity, what nits are those? You want real nits? Compare the lyric book from the "Tommy" LPs with the songs themselves. There's a suprising number of screw ups

When Miles Davis' Kind of Blue was initially remastered for CD, three of the songs were in the wrong key. Why? Because they recorded at the wrong speed, thus giving them a sharper pitch than in their original recordings. The current remastered version of the album has corrected that problem.

Three songs with inaccuracies in their lyrics:

1. "The Night Chicago Died" - Paper Lace

"Daddy was a cop
On the Eastside of Chicago"

Downtown Chicago is right on the coast of Lake Michigan. There is no "Eastside"!

2. "Pride (In the Name of Love)" - U2

"Early morning April 4th
Shot rings out in the Memphis sky."

The reference is to the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr. which happened in the afternnoon.

3. "X-Ray Eyes" - Blue Oyster Cult

"Do not envy the man with the X-ray eyes.
In the Fifties Ray Milland pierced the skies."

The movie, X-The Man With X-Ray Eyes starring Ray Milland was released in 1963.

Boogie On Reggae Woman - Stevie Wonder
Nit: Why would Stevie tell a reggae woman to "boogie on"?

Another category of screw-ups: albums that are titled after songs that aren't on that album but are instead on another album.

Examples -

The Doors - Waiting For The Sun
Led Zeppelin - Houses Of The Holy
Iron Butterfly - Scorching Beauty

The Doors' Complete Studio Recordings box set contains the Essential Ratities disk, which is culled from their other box set. Three times, the booklet comments about songs that weren't included in the single disk: "Rock is Dead", the 1965 demo of "Go Insane", and the live version of "5 to 1" from the infamous Miami concert.

Also, as I mentioned before, the Doors box set does not include "You Need Meat", a studio recording that was omitted from the box set advertising itself as "The Complete Studio Recordings".

For shame, Elektra!

Another category of screw-ups: albums that are titled after songs that aren't on that album but are instead on another album.

Very good category of nits. I can only think of one at the moment, though there seem to be many that I've come across:

Robyn Hitchcock- Queen Elvis ( The disc is an all out classic, even without the song )

I'll scan the archives...

Another for the song not on the album bunch.
"Fire on the Mountain" by Charlie Daniels Band

Downtown Chicago is right on the coast of Lake Michigan. There is no "Eastside"!

I always thought that was supposed to be a joke. But now that you bring it up, I'm not sure anymore.

The song "Sheer Heart Attack" by Queen appears on the album Queen II. The album after that is called (can you guess?) Sheer Heart Attack.

Why do they call the words to a song the “lyrics” anyway? I think that is a nit in itself. Every song I’ve ever heard didn’t have a lyre as it’s accompanying instrument … (except for the Popeye/Sea Hag cartoon with the mermaids singing “I Love Popeye”). Why don’t they call them “guitarics” or “keyboardics”?

More mixed-up geography: In Journey's "Strangers," Steve Perry sings of a "city boy from south Detroit." Canada is directly south of downtown Detroit.

I doubled-checked. The name of the song is "Don't Stop Believing'."

Way off Benn. "Sheer Heart Attack" appears on News of the World, the groups 6th album, not second.

South Detroit refers to the south side of Detroit, within the city limits.

Ah, you're right goog. I haven't had either albums in a long time. All I've got right now is A Night At the Opera. I really do need to rebuild my Queen collection. I knew the album Sheer Heart Attack did not have a song by that title on it, though.

How 'bout songs that steal elements (riffs, words, whatever) from other songs? Here's an easy one: both "Sparks" and "Underture" from Tommy directly rip off "Rael", from The Who Sell Out. Along the same lines, "Glow Girl"'s last line (It's a girl, Mrs Walker. It's a girl) shows up, slightly changed, in Tommy. as well. I suppose it's suitable for a song that's about reincarnation, but still...

I've had a nagging feeling for years that Alice Cooper and Tiny Tim (Tiptoe Thru the Tulips) are the same person. Perhaps someone can shed light on this strange attraction ...

Heavy Metal (Taking a Ride) -- Don Felder. Talks about a Corvette.

Pink Floyd's The Wall has the lyrics to a song called "What Shall We Do Now". This song does not appear on the album.

Elton John's Captain Fantastic and The Brown Dirt Cowboy has the lyrics to a song called "Dogs In the Kitchen". This song is also not on the album. (It may not, unlike The Floyd tune, actually exist.)

And I guess you're forgetting that "The Show Must Go on" from The Wall has a few lyrics that aren't included on the song. (Edited out if I recall correctly.)

I assume you mean the album. Yeah, I have forgotten that. I hadn't looked over most of the lyrics in about 20 years, though. "What Shall We Do Now" has stuck out like a sore thumb. Especially since it is in the movie, and a damned good song to boot.

Why settle for just nitpicking lyrics?oHw about song titles? I've been thinking about songs that share the same title. First off, both The Beatles and Barrett Strong recorded versions of a song called "Money". Then Badfinger opened the album Straight Up with a song called "Money" (I thinkthat was the one). Next up, Pink Floyd of course had the Dark Side of the Moon track called "Money". Als, both The Monkees and The Bee Gees recorded songs called "Words". I'm sure there's more, but I can't remember them...

There's a lot more. I used to have a list of such songs. Probably still do. Thought putting together a tape of same title/different songs. I'll probably do it eventually. (Be a whole series of tapes [or CDs], though.)

But why would that be a nit?

Let's see...

Didn't Sting have a song called "An Englishman in New York"? There was also a song by that name by Creme and Godley.

Godley & Creme later recorded an album called "Goodbye Blue Sky" which is the name of a song on Pink Floyd's The Wall. That album also featured a song called "Mother." Different songs by the name of "Mother" have been recorded by Lennon and the Police.

The same Lennon album (Plastic Ono Band) also has "Hold On," which is the same name of a song later recorded by Yes.

That same Yes album (90125) has "Changes" which of course is the same name as a David Bowie song.

David Bowie wrote a song about an astronaut named Major Tom. Another song, in the 80s, was also written about an astronaut named Major Tom although the singer said he had never even heard Bowie's song. Someone younger than me will have to supply his name; I probably wouldn't even recognize it if I heard it.

Consequently, I can't continue this chain any further. (But then, I didn't think I could sustain it this long.)

Paul Simon wrote "Red Rubber Ball". God only knows what he was on at the time. Cyrkle was the act to record the song.

I used to have ELO's first box set, Afterglow, on tape. Tape three had an interesting nit. On the cassette itself there is a song called "I Know That You Know". However, on the cassette inlay card, the box set container, the box set booklet, the song is called "A Matter of Fact".

Wilson Phillips also did a song called "Hold On".

Peter Schilling is the guy who did "Major Tom {Coming Home}". Bowie did his own Major Tom sequel. It was "Ashes to Ashes". "Ashes to ashes/Funk to funky/We know Major Tom's a junkie/Strung out in Heavens high/Hitting an all-time low...Mom always said to get things done/You better not mess with Major Tom."

Hey goog, The Monkees also recorded a song called "Changes" that is not, in fact, on the album of that name (it's featured on Missing Links Vol. 2)

Also, speaking of Badfinger and "Money", the song that follows it is called "Flying", also the name of a Beatles tune.

This has got to be the GREASTEST "nitpcik" of a song ever:

Whitney Houston did a song, with Kelly Price and Faith Evans, called "Heartbreak Hotel".

Rule #1 of music:

You DON'T do a completely new song with the same title as an Elvis classic (or a Beatles or `Stones classic, either)! Under ANY circumstances!

That Whitney Houston song SHOULD have been called "What You Did To Me".

Ouch.

Also, both Carl Perkins and The Dave Clark Five did songs called "Glad All Over" (Well, I thinkit was Carl Perkins, all I remember at the moment is that The Beatles covered it on Live at the BBC)

The recent reissue of Blue Oyster Cult's debut includes the lyrics to the album's songs. They got one word wrong. In the song "Workshop of the Telescope" the line they have is "By Silverfish Imperetrix who incorrupted eye/Sees the through the charms of doctors and their wives/By Salamander Drake and the power that was undone..." Uh, it isn't "undone". It's "undine" ("According to Paracelsus, a male water spirit who could earn a soul by marrying a mortal and bearing his child" The American Heritage Dictionary. A definiion that makes no damned sense if you ask me. It sounds a little weird actually.)

The CD of ELO's first album, No Answer, lists a song called "First Movement". That is not the complete title. The complete title is "First Movement (Jumpin' Biz)". With any luck, the upcoming reissue will correct that.

Meanwhile, the cover of ELO's third album, On the Third Day shows seven band members. The interior liner notes only identifies six. The seventh person is Hugh McDowell, a celloist.

On VH1's Storytellers with ELO, Jeff Lynne changed the line of a song. On "Can't Get It Out of My Head", Jeff sang, I believe, "William Tell and Robin Hood and Ivanhoe and Lancelot". On the studio recording (Eldorado), the line is "Robin Hood and William Tell... (I know, picky, picky.)

Yet another song not from the album that shares its title: Brain Salad Surgery by Emerson, Lake & Palmer.

Kansas also did a song called "Hold On." So did Carlos Santana.

The acoustic guitar riff from Floyd's "Goodbye Blue Sky" was shamelessly ripped off by Def Leppard (albeit with an electric guitar) in the title track of the Hysteria album.

Lyric nitpicking time:

"Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous T-Birds
Lyric: "I would work 24 hours, 7 days a week/Just so I could come home and kiss your cheek"
Nit: If you're working 24/7, when would you have time to come home?

"God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood (live version)
Lyric: "...that we're proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free"
Nit: An English teacher's worst nightmare. Two glaring grammatical errors:
1) Uses the plural "we're" to describe the singular "an American"
2) Uses "where" to refer to a person ("an American" again)
To my mind the lyric should have gone "...that we're proud to be in America, where at least we know we're free".

"House Of The Rising Sun" by Bob Dylan
Lyric: "It's been the ruin of many a poor girl, and me, oh God, I'm one"
Nit: Yo Bob, did you have a sex change or something? (At least Eric Burdon and the Animals got the gender right when they covered this song.)

And in this same spirit...

"The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by Joan Baez
Lyric: "Like my father before me, I'm a working man"
Nit: You could've fooled me, Joan...

"The Hunter" by GTR
Lyric: "Just take a lesson from the great Mohammed/He said, 'Pick up a rifle...'"
Nit: Mohammed couldn't have said that. Guns hadn't been invented yet in his time.

"Red Rubber Ball" (moldy oldie; don't remember who sings it)
Lyric: "The morning sun is shining like a red rubber ball"
Nit: All together now, everyone: Red rubber balls don't shine!!!

Paul Simon wrote "Red Rubber Ball"? I didn't know that.

Yeah, if you think about it, it is very much in his style.

The tune On Broadway performed live by Gary Numan is in itself a nit. He's singing ...

But they are wrong - I know they are
'Cause I can play this here guitar
And I won't quit 'til I'm a star
On Broadway

And he based his fame on NOT having a guitar in his band! (not counting a bass guitar)

The Devil Went Down to Georgia – The Charlie Daniels Band
This song bases it’s premise on the fact that if Johnny beats the Devil in a one-on-one fiddling contest, the Devil will give him a “shiny fiddle made of gold”. But the only thing Johnny could do with it is either display it on his mantle and gloat over his victory, or sell it for it’s value in gold. As an instrument, it probably would sound terrible being made of gold. For somebody like Johnny, perhaps a more enticing prize would’ve been a “well aged and seasoned fiddle made by Strativarius”. Besides, the song doesn’t mention a “shiny bow made of gold” to accompany the fiddle.

He'd also have to be pretty strong to pick it up. Imagine how much it'd weigh.

Here's a nit. In America's "Horse with No Name", he was in the desert with the horse for 10 days. What did he have to do for those 10 days where he couldn't take some time to name the horse???

Here's a nit. In America's "Horse with No Name", he was in the desert with the horse for 10 days. What did he have to do for those 10 days where he couldn't take some time to name the horse???

He was a little out of his head for most of the time. For those of you who don't know many see this song as a big drug reference. "The horse"

Grammatical nit: From the Beatles' If I Fell:

If I gave my heart to you,
I must be sure
From the very start, that you
Would love me more than her.

It should say, "that you would love me more than she." Of course, I don't care for the ring of that, but as it stands now, it's grammatically equivalent to saying "I must be sure that you would love me more than you love her." Kind of disturbing...

Nope, it's grammatically correct. It's the objective form. Would you say "you would love she more than I?"

the "me" and "her" need to be the same case/form. In this instance, the objective.

But unless I'm mistaken, the lyrics are meant to convey the following:

If I gave my heart to you,
I must be sure
From the very start, that you
Would love me more than she loved me.
('Cause apparently she wasn't very good at loving him.)

If that's the case, my grammatical nit stands. But if the intent of the lyrics is to say

If I gave my heart to you,
I must be sure
From the very start, that you
Would love me more than you would love her...

then the objective form is appropriate and correct.

Of course, I just remembered that the same grammatical nit occurs again later in the song, something like, "Don't hurt my pride like her." Once again, it should say "she", but that wouldn't have the same nice ring to it.

Well, anyone who's ever studied semantics and ambiguity knows that The Beatles' "I'd rather see you dead, little girl/than to be with another man" could be interpreted as an extremely homophobic statement. :-)

Supposedly, "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" was about Brian Epstein's homosexuality. Also, "Baby, You're a Rich Man" may also have been about Epstein. Allegedly The Beatles, near the end of the song, sing "Baby you're a rich fag Jew." I've never heard it myself.

I heard it was not on the released version. Never heard it bootlegged, so if it happened, it was probably an untaped rehearsal/goofing around thing.

Bringing up "Norwegian Wood" now seems inevitable.

I swear I remember reading, when I was middle-school-aged, that John said he had wanted to write a song about marijuanna but in such a way that Cynthia wouldn't get the reference. For years, that made sense. The wood was the weed, the fire at the end was the lighting of it. Everything was fine in my little world until the Internet came along and everyone flat out rejected that theory.

I read that about "Norwegian Wood", too. At least that it was about marijuana.

Of course, John always consistently tried to debunk the idea that "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" was about the illicit drug everyone asaid it was about. John insisted that the song was inspired merely by a picture a very young Julian drew one day at school.

Call me gullible, but I've always believed him. I think if it really was about LSD, he wouldn't have denied it.

Some other songs with the same acronym:
Jimi, "The Stars that Play with Laughing Sam's Dice" (God, I haven't heard this song since the vinyl days.)
"Lake Shore Drive" by Aliota, Haynes and Jeremiah (Do non-Chicagoans know this song)?

Then there's "Elephant Candy" by the Fun and Games.

How about "My Aunt Rita's In Jail Until After Next August"? No drug references there, no sir.

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaraunt.

Exceptin' Alice

Goog, if you want to hear "The Stars The Play With Laughing Sam's Dice" again, you'll find it on the Hendrix album, South Saturn Delta. L-S-D isn't the only drug you can get out of that title. There's also STP. Which is also Stone Temple Pilots' acronym.

As far as "Lucy In The Sky" goes, I tend to believe Lennon on that one, too. If only because John's son, Julian, the artist in question, has backed him up on it.

Warren Zevon's "Frank And Jessie James":


Keep on ridin', ridin', ridin' / Frank and Jessie James / Keep on ridin', ridin', ridin' / Till you clear your names

Uh, that's gonna be kinda hard to do.

I saw a werewolf down at Lee Ho Fook's!

One reason there are not as many musical nits is a person would have to be into a song they don't like. For instance, I don't like some song that has a refrain like the desert misses the rain that I think was by Sade. (Deserts don't miss the rain. Many creatures that have adapted to the arid environment would die if the desert got normal rainfall.)

There are probably many nits in other songs that I don't like, but I'll never find them. There are probably many nits in songs I do like, but I'll never see them. (Songs that previous roommates liked are fair game though.)

Benn, I'm not exactly nitpicking SONGS ... just the DJ's today.

Today I attended my niece's wedding. She married a local DJ ... Micheal Blake of KISS 106.1 ... Kidd Kraddick attended, of course (whoop-whoop)

There WAS (of course) an attending DJ at the reception. He pulled out ALL the oldies from the mid 80's on back and cranked them ... (it seems that 106.1 FM keeps them for use at weddings and bar-mitzfahs, THEN puts them back in storage afterwards ... just in case "a change in format" may become appropriate)

PS - just so's your suspicions are confirmed ... BOTH Micheal Blake AND Kidd Kradicks's names are not real ... they use them on air only ... Micheal's REAL name is of Irish descent)

Mid '80s oldies???? That's when I stopped listening...

Eh.. I'd better be gettin' back to the retirement home a'fore these here young whippersnappers dis' me!

Derf, just tell me that the "Semi-legendary, Almost King of Rock-N-Roll"'s real name isn't Hubcap Carter. I don't wanna know. (I always thought Hubcap Carter was a cool name. Don't know why.) If KLUV's current morning man's real name isn't Ron Chapman, I could understand that. If I was him, I wouldn't want anyone to know who I really was either.

Speaking of KLUV, when I was at The Monkees concert last weekend, KLUV, the station promoting the show, announced they were having some big blow-out out at D/FW airport. The climax of the event was a chance to watch the implosion of the American Airline Hyatt Regency Hotel. They have, of course, in light of last Tuesday, canceled that event.

Mid-80's, eh, Scott? I stopped rigorously following the new music scene in '96. I still pick up on some things here and there. But nowhere like I used to. I really regret that, but that hasn't been too much out there that's made that big an impression on me. I'm certain that there are great songs still being made, I'm just not that interested in finding them right now.

Oh, and since this is nitpicking songs... Well, I'm gonna nit pick a CD. CDs can hold up to 80 minutes worth of music on them. I know that because 2 Live Crew's Nasty As They Wanna Be is just a few seconds shy of 80 minutes. I recently bought Fleetwood Mac's Tusk on CD. It's a little more than 72 minutes long. The problem is the song, "Sara". It's the edited single version, clocking in at just under 5 minutes. The full original album version is close to seven minutes long. With eight minutes of space on the verdammt CD, they couldn't get the full version of "Sara" on there!?!

Benn, the reason is that there are three sizes of CD.

There's 63, 74, and 80 minute CDs. The most common form is the 74 minute. Some older CD players cannot handle the 80 minute format.

For you computer people, that corresponds to 560, 650, and 740 MB CD-R/CD-RW/CD-ROMs.

Dave Barry, in his Book of Bad Songs, notes that in the song Wildfire by Michael Murphey, somebody is supposed to have died in 'a killin' frost.' As Barry's readers pointed out...a killin' frost?

Also cited was the wonderfully silly line from Gordon Lightfoot's Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald: 'As the big freighters go, it was bigger than most.'

And Rod Stewart's line from Tonight's the Night: 'Just let your inhibitions run wild...' (?)

And of course the two Neil Diamond lyrics that more or less inspired the book in the first place: 'Song she sang to me/song she brang to me' (Play Me) 'And no one heard at all/Not even the chair...' (I Am, I Said)

Barry also mentions Paul McCartney's singing 'In this ever-changing world in which we live in...' from Live and Let Die (but I've always understood the lyric as 'In this ever-changin' world in which we're livin...' which makes more sense.)

The Barenaked Ladies' Gordon album lyrics contain several ad-libs that aren't in the actual songs.

>>'Just let your inhibitions run wild...'<<

I've always associated that line with getting on a roller-coaster for the first time ...

Finding a nit in an REM song is too easy.

This one goes to the one I love / FIRE!!!

I'm glad Michael Stipe doesn't love me.

Don't think he means "fire" literally there, William. (And as member of R.E.M. you should know that. Oh wait a minute. You're the one that quit. My bad.) I think what Stipe was refering to was a psychological state.

By the way, Scott, I didn't know there was a 63 minute disc. But I would think a 74 minute would have gotten all of Tusk on it. At any rate, I'd rather they omit a song, say "That's Enough For Me", which clocks in at 1:48, than give us the short version of "Sara". After all, "Sara" was a hit from the album. Oh well, maybe when they release the special edition of Tusk, along with the rest of the Mac's catalog, they'll correct this error. (No. I don't have any inside information. It's just inevitable.)

There is one album I know of, where an entire song was omitted to fit it all on one disc: Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble's Live Alive. The CD does not have "Life Without You" on it. The tape and vinyl l.p. did have it. It's understandable in this case why "LWY" was left off the disc. Even an 80 minute disc would not be able to contain the entire album. (I once timed it. "Life Without You" would put Live Alive several seconds over the 80 minutes limit.)

The alternative would be to make it a two disc set. Personally, I'd have no problem with that. But apparently to keep the costs down, it remains a single disc album.

What's annoying to me is that "Life Without You (live)" has not been issued on a CD period. Not on either greatest hits discs or the SRV box set.

Also missing from the SRV catalogs is the studio version of "Superstition". Judging by the video, a studio version does exist. It just has not been given an official release yet on CD.

Benn, the same thing happened to Blonde on Blonde way back when it was originally released on CD. The song that got lopped was "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands". If I remember correctly the disc was released three times at around 70 min., then 72, then 74. Dunno what's happened since then.

I agree with the principal of leaving off a song in lieu of editing another one for space, but would prefer neither.

Gordon Lightfoot's Gord's Gold omits one song entirely. But I don't know the song, and if I ever get curious enough, I'm sure I can find it on its original album.

Last night, I played The Grateful Dead's In the Dark CD. I used to have it on tape. Last night was the first time I really looked at the disc. On the tape was a song called "My Brother Esau". It's not on the CD. I don't think time's a factor in its omission either. There is a Japanese import that has the song on it, though.

By the way, Miko, glad to see you're back.

I own a copy of Gord's Gold too...although I only ever listen to side 2, and nothing's missing there, anyway. I'll check side one next time I get it out.

I believe the tape is complete. It's the CD that's missing a song. Let me go look at my copy of the disc, and I'll tell you what's missing. See now, it says here, on the back of the CD's jewel box, "The track 'Affair On 8th Avenue' which appears on the double album and cassette has been omitted so as to facilitate a single, specially-priced compact disc." Nice of them to let me know what they cut out.

NIT: the song Devil With a Blue Dress On

... the song insists that the Devil will wear a blue dress ... why? Is there some satanical quality to the color blue? ... OR, is blue a pacifying color, and therefore needful for the Devil to wear? ... (in order to subdue the veiwers of the blue dress) ... (I dunno ...)

Is the Devil a transvestite?

Actually, I don't think the song literally means the Devil. I think Mitch Ryder is calling an ex-girlfriend "The Devil". In which case, Satan is a trans-sexual.

No ... if you are going to retain the literal meaning of "Devil" ... then what YOU are refering to is "The Devil's Angel" ... and as such, the title of the song would be "Devil's Angel With the Blue Dress On" ... (totally different subject)

Here's the lyrics, Derf. You decide.

"Devil With A Blue Dress On / Good Golly Miss Molly

Hey, alright, jump up, get it

(chorus) (do twice in the beginning)

Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress
Devil with the blue dress on

Fe, fe, fi, fi, fo, fo, fum
Look at Molly now, here she come
Wearin' a wig, has the shades to match
Got a-high healed shoes and an aligator hat
Wearin' her pearls and her diamond ring
Got rasors on her fingers and everything

(chorus)
(chorus)

Hey, wearin' her perfume, Chanelle #5
Got to be the finest girl alive
You walk real cool, makin' everybody die
They got to be nervous, they can't stay high
She's not too skinny, she's not too fat
She's a real humdinger and I like it like that

(chorus)
(chorus)

(bridge)

Good golly Miss Molly, so glad you phoned
Good golly Miss Molly, so glad you phoned
I like the way you roll me
Don't you hear your mama call

From the early, early morning to the early, early night
See Miss Molly rocking in the house of delight

Good golly Miss Molly, so glad you phoned
I like the way you roll me
Don't you hear your mama call

Wearin' her pearls and her diamond ring
Got rasors on her fingers and everything

(chorus)

Devil with the blue dress, alright
Go sock it to me now."

I'm wrong about the ex-girlfriend angle, but it is definitely not literally "the Devil" the song refers to.

Okay, so it's one man's thought that the wrong done to him by a girl can't be anything but the work of the DEVIL ...
Alright ... the LITERAL analogy about "the devil" was wrong in the beginning ... but based upon the words provided by Benn ... what's the guy saying about women? ...

I could make some comments about attempting to find deep theological meaning in harmlessly catchy 60's pop, Derf, but (borrowing the Chief's phrase)...I will postpone.

The second line of the chorus of I Shot the Sheriff is But I did not shoot the deputy... What's that about? He wants a medal or something? Setting up mitigating circumstances for the trial?

I shot the Commie,
But I did not shoot the Socialist!

In Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sherriff", I always thought the person singing the song stood accused of shooting both the sherriff and the deputy. So while he freely admits to the first killing, he denies the second.

Well, that explains that, then, sure. Do they ever find out who did shoot the deputy?

The socialist?

Not in the song. I forget which comedian pointed out that if he didn't shoot the deputy, who did? Is he implicating Sheriff John Brown was so evil that he had to shoot his own deputy because the deputy balked at when told to "kill it before it grows." Was there anyone else there on a grassy knoll perhaps? Why is the CIA so silent about this? If he fired his gun only once, did "magical" bullet go through the sheriff, turn 90 degrees, then hit the deputy? Why don't they come clean? Or is "shooting the deputy" just an obscure Jamaican drug reference?

A too-good-to-pass-up-posting-here coincidence from Dave Barry's latest column ('Ask Mister Language Person'):

Q. In the song I Shot the Sheriff, how come the singer keeps loudly announcing that he shot the sheriff, but he did NOT shoot the deputy? Is he in some weird municipality where it's a serious criminal offense to shoot a deputy, but if you shoot the actual sheriff, hey, no problem?

A. Your question is very important to us.

Some more lyrical nits:
Sade, "Smooth Operator"
"Coast to coast/L.A. to Chicago..." Apparently the east coast of the United States is on Lake Michigan.

Sting, "If You Love Somebody, Set Them [sic] Free"
He used to be a schoolteacher, he really should know that "somebody" is singular. On the other hand, "...Set Him or Her Free" doesn't scan as well.

A couple of folks who can't remember the difference between "lie" and "lay":

Eric Clapton: "Lay down, Sally/Right here in my arms..." Apparently, Sally is unconscious, and someone has to carry her in and drop her in Eric's lap.

Bob Dylan: "Lay, lady, lay/Lay across my big brass bed..." Bob's in love with a chicken.

Speaking of Bob Dylan ...
The tune "Tangled Up in Blue" has the line
And everyone of them words rang true
And glowed like burning coal

I know this is REALLY nitpickish, but a coal doesn't GLOW until the BURNING part is over ...

And AND speaking of Bob Dylan ...
This really isn't a nitpick, just a strange observation:

The song Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts contains these lines -
Rosemary started drinking hard
And seeing her reflection in the knife
She was tired of the attention
Tired of playing the role of Big Jim's wife

No one knew the circumstance
But they say that it happened pretty quick
The door to the dressing room burst open
And a Colt revolver clicked

The next day was Hanging Day
The sky was overcast and black
Big Jim lay covered up
Killed by a penknife in the back

Now, the "scratch yer head" quandary is this: HOW did Big Jim die? A gunshot or a knife wound? I know the song says "killed by a penknife in the back" ... but the confusing part is the "Colt Revolver" verse!

And finally, also from Lily, Rosemary and The Jack of Hearts - this line:

The only person there missing was the Jack of Hearts

How can a person be THERE and MISSING at the same time?

Elton John's tune Someone Saved My Life Tonight contains this brain twister ...

It's four o'clock in the morning, dammit
Listen to me good
I'm sleeping with myself tonight
Saved in time
Thank God my music's still alive

Now the puzzle is:
If it's 4 am, does he mean "I'm spending the rest of the hours 'til daylight sleeping by myself" or does he mean "I'm going to sleep by myself when it becomes late evening today, since it's already 4 am."?

"Someone Saved My Life Tonight" is a song about Elton's impending marriage. He was despondent over the upcoming wedding. Long John Baldry. while drinking with John and lyricist, Bernie Taupin, talked Elton out of the marriage. With that in mind the verse is actually

"It's four o'clock in the morning, dammit!
Listen to me good.
Saved in time
Thank God my music's still alive."

Baldry, incidentally, is the "sugar bear" of the song.

Therefore, Benn, a more "appropriate" line would be ...

I'm sleeping without HER tonight

More or less. While I was out running some errands, I let the song run through my mind. In the process of giving the tune a mental playback, I remembered one key factor about the impending nuptials. Elton's fiancee wanted him to quit being a musician. This is what was depressing him about the wedding. Baldry convinced him to call the engagement off. Thus: "I'm sleeping with myself tonight/Saved in time/Thank God my music's still alive."

Given Elton's output in the Eighties and Nineties, I almost wish he had gotten married.

Today, boys and girls, I'm not nitpicking a SONG ... just it's INTRO ...

In the movie "The Mask" (starring Jim Carrey and Cameron Diaz), there is the "nightclub" scene where Stanley Ipkiss (in the character of "The Mask") moves up to the nightclub orchestra and announces, "Let's ROCK this joint!" ...

Yet, the song that The Mask's "transformed" band plays is Hey Pachuco (performed by the Royal Crown Revue) which has a DEFINITE jazz/latin flavor to it. I would NOT call it "rock".

(I know ... "The Mask" was probably refering to picking up the tempo of the atmosphere, but I couldn't resist anyway)

A long time ago, Benn wrote:
Downtown Chicago is right on the coast of Lake Michigan. There is no "Eastside"!

Sure there is. There's a southeast side in upper 90s and lower 100s-numbered streets which has been called "The East Side" since before I was born. It's been a Mexican neighborhood as long as I remember.

"A long time ago", indeed. My bad. I read that particular nit years ago. Seemed logical to me. I lived in Illinois for about two years. Despite that, I only visited Chicago three or four times. Once to see the Hoodoo Gurus at Park West (that was a pretty cool club). Another time was to catch a Blue Oyster Cult show at the Navy Skyline Pier. So I don't know Chicago that well. Cut me some slack, here. I'm a Native Texan. What do I know about your hometown?

One question, Kevin, where would all the jazz clubs in Chicago be? Or is there a particular area? If I ever get back there (I have family living in Illinois), I'd like to go to a Chicago jazz club.

Okay, slack given. :-)

As for jazz clubs, you've got to go the Green Mill. This is an old club, so old that Al Capone used to hang out there, and they've got a big picture of him hanging on their wall. It can be extremely crowded on weekends, depending on who's playing, but I'd still recommend it. The cover is cheap: $4 or $5. More info at:
http://centerstage.net/music/clubs/green-mill.html

If you want to pay more for some big names, then you want the Jazz Showcase. This is where the name stars play when they're in town, and it's billed as the second oldest jazz club in the world. (Although it's not at the same location that I used to frequent. I don't get around much anymore.) :-) Their website is http://www.jazz-showcase.com but I can't access it right now. If you can go when the Jazzfest is happening, the Showcase has after-hours performances.

There are other places, but really, the two I named are the best, and they occupy the two extremes of the price-spectrum.

Thanks for the links Kevin. And the slack. The jazz showcase link takes me to an Audio Systems Group, Inc. site. Somehow, I'm not sure that's the right place. Anyway, thanks again. If I ever get to Chicago again, and get the chance, I'll check 'em out.

No problem. The Jazz Showcase link is working for me now, so try again.

Yeah, Kevin, the link works fine now. Thanks. If I get the chance, I'll be sure to check one or both of them out.

NIT!:
Elton John's album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road contains a song which is titled "This Song Has No Title". Neverminding the self-negating song title, the lyrics Elton sings during the entire song is "This song's got no title ..."

Well, in that vein, there's "I Want to Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles. Of course, what they actually sing is "I wanna hold your hand."

I was listening to Julian Lennon's "Valotte" the other day. In the song are the lines, "Sitting on a pebble by the river playing guitar." First of all, either that's one big pebble, or Julian has a really small butt. Then there's the "playing guitar" part of the song. Didja notice the dominate instrument in the song is not a guitar? It's a piano.

I once saw an interview with Julian Lennon in which he was asked about the 'pebble' thing. He laughed and admitted it just sounded better that way.

In the song "Do Wah Diddy" by, uh... someone... they get to the part about "we walked on to my dorr, then we kissed a little more," but they didn't specify beforehand that they were kissing!

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

FYI, the song was recorded by Manfred Mann, before "Earth Band" got added to the name,.

I always heard ...
"And then we kissed a little Moe ..."

(I've always wondered WHO in the hell would want to kiss a midget Moe!!)

A midget Curly?

I shall call him, "Mini Moe", you lunkheads!

Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

Ah, yes, Manfred Mann. Thanks.

Derf, this thread is up to 117k.

Just a minute there, Butch Ole Boy ...

Not really a nitpick, but ...
The song Goodbye Yellow Brick Road has a first segment that goes thus:

When are you gonna come down?
When are you going to land?
I should have stayed on the farm,
I should have listened to my old man.

You know you can't hold me forever,
I didn't sign up with you.
I'm not a present for your friends to open,
This boy's too young to be singing the blues.

The "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" double album was released in 1973, sooooo ...

Can we NOW assume that Elton (or whoever he was singing about in the song) is NOW old enough to be "singing the blues"? (over 25 years later?)

Another "not really a nitpick, but ..."

The song "Harmony" in the same Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album by Elton John holds a special fascination for us Southerners ...

The refrain goes:
Harmony and me
We're pretty good company,
Looking for an island
In our boat upon the sea.
Harmony, gee I really love you
And I want to love you forever
And dream of never, never leaving harmony.

THE RUB is ... IF Elton would have sang it that way, us Southerners would have only ONE interpretation of this song ...
BUT ... since Elton has a noticable English accent, he ACTUALLY sings:

Homminy and me
We're pretty good company,
Looking for an island
In our boat upon the sea.
Homminy, gee I really love you
And I want to love you forever
And dream of never, never leaving homminy.

And as ANY southerner knows, homminy is to "grits" as sex is to life!!

Personally, Derf, I'm just impressed you managed to make out that many of the lyrics!
I've listened to that song for years without understanding what the heck John was saying. As Dave Barry put it in the Book of Bad Songs: "Elton John often sounds like he's singing in another language...possibly Welsh."

There's no real trick to it, Kerrie. The Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album comes with the complete lyrics.

Yeah, that actually had occurred to me - right after I hit Post Message, as usual.

I've only ever heard the song on the radio, you see, and my comedy-writer instincts are strong if not particularly accurate.

Yeah, yeah ... I got GOBS to say about Elton. Such as ...
The tune Sweet Painted Lady is a direct rebuttal to the current "I'm a prostitute because I gotta feed my kid" songs on the radio.