This is a thread where we can highlight particularly cringeworthy lines of dialogue in songs (good or bad tunes). Heres some of my own choices of lyrically drivel gold.

Supersonic Oasis. "I know a girl called Elsa, she's into Alka Selza!" ooh shes on the hard stuff there Liam.

Pretty Flamingo. Manfredd Mann. "On our block all of the guys call her Flamingo" Somehow I dont think she'd be in the least bit flattered. "coz her hair flows like the sun, and her eyes can light the skies." Thats all good and well, but how do they draw the analagy between this girl and a flamingo, which has no hair and small beady black eyes?

Rocksteady Crew. "Synchronise your feet, get down on the rhythm, hop on the beat." Very 80's dialogue and very rubbish too.

Saturday Night. Whigfeild "Na na nee na na na" that funny noise she makes at the begining of the song. Hang on come to think of it the song sort of goes downhill from there.

Wannabe: Spice Girls "I really really REALLY wanna zig a zigar!" Right girls you zigar to your hearts content.

Ketchup song. Las Ketchup. These girls know that if you cant think of lyrics just make up your own language as we hear in this woeful chorus which goes something like "I said a hey a ho a hey ahebba hebba booggie oogie boogie bo peep!" dreadful lyrics for a truly dreadful tune!

Life: Desree. "I dont want to see a ghost. It's the sight that I fear most. I'd rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news" Nuff said really.

I was thinking about a similar board, "They were on drugs when they wrote..."

How about Roundabout: Yes. (for my topic)

Or for your topic:

Crocodile Rock: Elton John "Na.... na na na na na.... " (though they did sing like that in the '50s, which was what Elton was trying to evoke).

I think that topic and this one can easilly co-exist.

I've got a bunch of such lyrics on the tip of my tongue, but I'm fuzzy enough on them that I'd better go check before putting 'em up here.

I agree, Blitz- there can easily be sub categories, such as:

Going way too far for the rhyme- the Oasis line
Embarassing Similes or Metaphors- the Manfred Mann line
Unnecessary Gobbledygook- Na Nee Na Na etc.
Dated Phrases- the Rocksteady Crew line

Bruce Springsteen in "Thunder Road": "You ain't a beauty, but hey, you're alright." ("Gee, thanks!" the girl in this song must be saying.)

Worst attempt to force a rhyme of words that don't rhyme: "Texas" and "facts is" in Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run". The felony is compounded by the subject/verb disagreement effected in the attempt.

Actually, Todd, the rhyme for "Texas" is "Justice". The rhyme for "Facts is" is "Taxes".

---

Quote:

Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain't gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin' off of the people's taxes

---

This does make me cring so much as it makes me scratch my head. On the otherwise great 1997 "Cheap Trick" album, there's a supposed-to-be-tender ballad with the line, "If I had a child, I would love it as my own."

If he had a child, it would BE his own!

"And all those girls with their sweet talk?you can all go take a way" "Heroin" The Velvet Underground

OOOoooh, THAT'S tellin' 'em, Lou!

Ketchup song. Las Ketchup. These girls know that if you cant think of lyrics just make up your own language as we hear in this woeful chorus which goes something like "I said a hey a ho a hey ahebba hebba booggie oogie boogie bo peep!" dreadful lyrics for a truly dreadful tune!

Actually they may not have made it up: I've heard this one before and it sounds like a corrupted, slurred together version of this line from "Rapper's Delight" by the Sugarhill Gang: "I said a hip, hop, the hippie to the hippie to the hip hip hop you don't stop the rocket to the bang bang boogie said up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat."
I might nominate THAT for "rubbish lyrics" but it's just so dumb that I love it!

I can think of a number of things that crusty old white people might say in responce to that in rekation to rap music in general, but none fo them are worth repeating.

Speaking of so dumb one just loves it, I'll employ some phonetic spelling to capture the full effect of this one:

"I don't want a pickle, just wanna ride on my motor-sickle
And I don't want a tickle, just wanna ride on my motor sickle
And I don't wanna dies, just wanna ride on my motorcy... cle."

I guess this falls under "Going WAY too far for the rhyme." Thank you Arlo Guthrie.

n.p. - Langhorns - The Langhorns

I heard "Blinded by the Light" a few days ago while on a road trip, and now can not get it out of my head. Heard it many zillions of times in high school and never thought then about just how nonsensical it is. I don't think there is a single line in there that is decipherable.

Are you talking about Springsteen's or Manfred Mann's version?

Does it make that much of a difference?

Here's a bit of dross that The Bee Gees tried to pass off as a chorus in their earliest of days:

My heart cries Timber
Timber Timber Timber
Timber, baby, 'cause I'm a-fallin' for you
Yeah yeah yeah

Ladies and gentelmen, start your cringing.

What about this drivel from Kellis

"My milkshake brings other guys to the yard and their like, it's better than yours. •••• right it's better than yours. I could teach you all but I have to charge."

I assume milkshake is a metaphor for something else but we won't dwell on that.

Is young Kellis trying to convey that her milkshake is the greatest in the U.S. or is one of the boys complaining that one of his collegues milkshakes is of a higher quality than his own, when another collegue butts in and says •••• right?

On Kellis milkshake making abilities I dont quite grasp what she is trying to say, does the scenario go as follows.

1. She pours the drink in question to all the guys in the yard.

2. Word of this fantastic milkshake spreads enticing more boys to try it.

3. One gentleman proudly proclaims that his beverage is of a higher quality than all of his friends.

4. Kellis then says "I'll teach you how to make my milkshake so you can all enjoy the taste sensation."

but point 2 would not happen in a recurring pattern after point 4 had occured as this women is showing blatent favouritism to one of the men. This must be breaking some sort of industrial rules. Then she has the nerve to actually charge the less favourable male clientille to have milkshake of equal quality. Its daylight robberry!!

For "going too far for the rhyme" (not to mention bad grammar) there's "I Don't Want To Wait" by Paula Cole:
Open up your morning lights, and say a little prayer for I.
The Music Page in the Dallas Morning News pointed that out a few years ago.

I've never heard this next song, but it fits the category better than anything else. It's from "In Your Face" by the Wild Boyz.
Here it cumz in your face
Hold yo ass we gonna shake this place
Get down a boogie, woogie
We got the groove that u can taste
2nite we gonna do some rock an roll
An shoot the rhythm right through your soul
Cum on let's rock this place
Gonna stik it in your face

I can't read that without laughing. Before clicking that link above, see if you can guess what year that was written in.

More rubbish lyrics from The Who "You'd Better You bet"

Your dog keeps licking my nose

Why is that a bad lyric? The full verse is

"I lay on the bed with you.
We could break some book of records.
Your dog keeps licking my nose
And chewing up all those letters
Saying 'You better.'"

I dunno. Maybe I'm an idiot (a distinct possibility), but given the context of that line, I have no problem with it.

You're not an idiot, Benn... it just seems so incongruous.

Don't worry, I laughed at that line too.

It doesn't seem incongruous to me. It just sounds like a slice of life type of thing. I mean, here's Roger Daltrey in bed with his woman. (Okay, so Towser wrote the song. Just go with it.) Her dog's in bed with them and he keeps licking him on the nose. Maybe this is something that actually happened to Townshend?

Of course, one of my candidates for all-time bad lyric is from Wings' "Getting Closer": "Say you don't love him/My salamander." Gee, Paulie. You're such a romanticist, calling your girl a lizard.

Then there's ELO's "Need Her Love": "The boats that sail, the planes that fly/She is to me." Your point being, Jeff? Then later in the verse, "I couldn't stand to see her cry because of me/Now that would be sad." And that would be lame.

np - By the Way - the Red Hot Chili Peppers

"Music is a world within itself/And a language we all understand." - Stevie Wonder

Ketchup song. Las Ketchup
No offense, but...someone actually bought that CD?
I thought "Rappers Delight" was pretty cool, too. Still do. Here's my fave line.
"Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn
If your girl starts acting up
Then you bring her friend."

Re:Last Comment
No, Adam, that "track" just turned up on every compilation CD's track listing, last summer...