Ha ha ha. My new borg universe is created... Wait a second. THIS IS THE NEW PHANTOM RETURN. All my work, Oh well. I'm going to Florida, counting ballots.

Weyoun: Personally, I'm rather fond of tapioca.

Damar: That's because, with all due respect, your brain is made of tapioca.

Thot Gor:lkjjknigltkigoplholhlverkbgrilgjrftvng

Weyoun: I couldn't have put it better myself.

Damar: Razzenfrazzen, mumble, grumble...

Why is everyone talking about me these days?

Matt Pestilence: qreqare for troudle
Adn make it boudle
TeaCupp: The EARTH is FLAT and the SUN goes around the EARTH!
Petre: This board is so $tupid.
Matt Pestilence: Why do you say that, Petie?
Petre: Don't call me that, idiot.
Matt Pestilence: Why, donut you like bieng called qetie? Petie, petie, peite, qeite!

Any resemblance to actual Religious Musings posters is purely coincidental.

Oh bother! Does anybody have some hunny? I have a rumbly in my tummy!

You have stepped into a domain with powers you have never, ever seen.

Petre: Which topic should we discuss next?

Sinko Majinko: That's a insult to my religion whichcraft. That's why I started practicing I wanted to get away from jerks like you. I'm leaving the board forever.

Justmen: No SM, I love you as a poor distraction for the fact I post on the Spider man TAS board.
By the way religion sucks.

J. K-ASomethingmoto: Now why can't people make non flaming statements like Justman.

Bee Dubya: •••• yes. what the •••• is wrong with ••••••• peter. he can go •••• himself for angering SM. •••• •••• •••• •••• ••••.

See Scott, See Scott End. End Scott End: Your forgetting, Funny talk dosen't have the word which.

The keeper of the insane: Petre you shouldn't insult her religion. Insult her board. All the rest of you stop swearing.

All resemblence to anything without satriical purpose is coincidential.

For the record, only a 10-level Vice President can delay an election for a month.

It is not you who has held it up, but I.

BTW, I haven't been dead, but I've slept.

Hey, your arms are pretty short, Law.

Young people these days! When I was young we NEVER insulted the law. We never insulted our elders, either. When I was a lad I was NEVER called an old fogey. NEVER. And we didn't talk in class, either. NEVER. Or we were caned. And it taught us a lesson, too. When we left school we knew NEVER to talk in class again. And we never did. NEVER.

And back when I was young, we knew how to count votes. We never heard 'bout these here "chads". And if one of them chads were pregnant, well, then we just shipped it off to its aunt's house. And we were glad to do it, too, because we didn't have much then, but we were thankful for it!

Not only that, but we had to walk 15 miles to vote! In a raging snowstorm! Uphill! Both ways! And we were glad to do it, too! Because we didn't have no fancy internet, or hanging chads, or much of anything then, but we had values! And we took care of them!

Ccabe, you will be visited by three ghosts. Or you will be doooooomed! Doooooooomed!

A white shimmering figure appears. It's wearing a starfleet uniform and a fake Klingon forehead in the wrong colour.

I am the Ghost of NitCentral Past.

Ccabe: Who? Oh, yaeh, youre one of those gohasts arent you?

*Yeesh!* You're as bad as Matt Pesti, with all those typos. Now, let me show you some of the early posts of Sherman the Ship's Mouse and SuperBob.
__________________
By Acting Captain Sherman, the ship's mouse on Wednesday, December 8, 1999 - 10:45 am:

Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhoooooooooooo!
Q sent all the people into the past (or was it the future). I'm acting captain until the others get back. Computer: Set course for the nearest planet that has no cats on it.

Computer: Setting course for Mars, Full Impulse.

{Thinking to himself}
Now how do I climb up on the captain's seat.
________________

Ccabe stsrts to sniff and tries to stop himself. He murmurs Good old days...

And now I will show you... SuperBob, young... whatever he is... first arriving at LICC.
_________________
By SuperBob the account temps goes forth on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 01:45 pm:

nervously waiting for Tacoman to get off of the phone
more waiting
The Captain finally gets of of the phone

Captain I realise I have only been on this ship for a few months, but I think that my Byron-ization powers could be useful in he next away team.
_________________

But in time, you were not so nervous in front of the League. In fact...
__________________
By Charles Cabe (Ccabe) on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 12:19 pm:

If you are looking for the LICC board or The Phantom Returns, they are not here. I had to delete them in order to make room for other, more Star Wars related boards. I have also removed the Characters board, and several other non-Star Wars boards. I am sorry I had to remove these boards, but it was necessary to keep Nitcentral going.
__________
.

.

.

.

...

A jolly-looking person in a red TNG dress uniform with a fake bald cap Picard head appears. He approaches the sobbing Ccabe.

Hi, Chuck! I'm the Ghost of Nitcentral present! Ho ho ho! Let me show you how others reacted to you getting rid of the League. You've been a very naughty boy, Chuck! Ho ho ho!
____________
By Jake Dominguez on Sunday, November 12, 2000 - 03:42 pm:
Wow! All gone....all of them.....
....

....

Okay, not in shock anymore. CCabe, couldn't you have backuped the old boards like was suggested in the moderator chat? I do have nearly the complete collection but I currently have no way to distribute them. Hang on, and I'll see what I can do. I would like to point out that the Phantom Returns/LICC were an integral part of this discussion board. What would happen if all the Voyager and Religious Musings boards disappeared?
_____________
By Keith Alan Morgan (Kmorgan) on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 02:53 am:

I assume Superbob has been Byrneized from the League?
______________
By Kira Sharp on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 10:26 pm:
Regarding SuperBob, I'm mad at Ccabe too, but if he apologizes for what he did and promises to WARN us before he deletes anything ever again, then I vote for letting SuperBob live.
________________

The members of the League, however, were not so sympathetic as the good Kira Sharp.
______________
By Ensign Insane on Tuesday, November 14, 2000 - 04:21 pm:

Hmm, I'm missing SuperBob's funeral. Ah, well.
_____________

I must leave you know. Expect the third spirit soon.
.

.

.

.

...

Someone wearing a spacesuit with a clouded-up screen approaches the small pool which Ccabe is sitting in. It slowly grows as he continues to sob.

*khhhh* I am the Ghost of Nitcentral Yet To Come. I will show you the future Nitcentral posters' reactions to one of Nitcentral's present moderators. *khhhh*

The place is a blue-coloured space station interior with lots of people crowded round, wearing black, in one room. There is a sign outisde the room saying "Remembering KAM Annual Funeral. Come in and join the sadness". Two people talking togetehr are wiping away the tears.

Fan #1: The most famous poster at Nitcentral. Poor KAM! Wipes tears.

Fan #2: But there was another famous poster as well, wasn't there? Something like... Chris Columbus!

Fan #1: It wasn't Chris Columbus. It was Carl... Carl Kensington!

Fan #3: approaching them Oh, never mind about him. he was a bad one. Let's go inside.

Fans #1 and 2: sniffing OK.

All three fans walk off.

Ccabe: (turning to ghost) Who are they talking abuot?

Ghost takes off his helmet to reveal none other than Keith Alan Pesti.

You, of course, you idiot!

Ccabe: (Falling down on his knees and grabbing KAP's arm to stop him from going into the remembering KAM room.) No! I'll be good! I won't ever harm a hair on LICC's head agian! And I promise never, never, to delete a single thing agian!

OK, it's all the same to me, I'm in the future. Bye.

He walks off, leaving Ccabe sobbing... sobbing... sobbing...

.

.

.

.

...

That was strange... I don't think they're related to me...

The Ghost of Nitcentral Future dropped this invitation to the 2nd annual remembering KAM funeral, December 15, 2002.


Hmmm, I wonder if it hurts to be strangled by octopi?

Come in. The water's fine. hee hee hee...

The Ghost of NitCentral Future is actually from the year 3000 and his name is Keith Alan Pesti. Check out NitCentral 3000 in the Futurama Kitchen Sink.

Matter-pattersong: Great to see you again Nala!

Nala: (blushing) So, um, ya like... Diane Duane novels?

Matter-pattersong: Yeah! We have so much in common.

Nala: Not really. But who cares.

Singers: Can you feel the love tonight...

Paddy O'Bserver: Muhahahahahahahahahahaha! Gwahahahahahahahahahahaah! Nyahahahaaahhahahahahahahahahahahaha!

My house has fallen

And it landed on me!

Does anyone have a cask of Amontillado?

Well, it's at least a comforting fact that I procreate at somepoint.

Well, At least You didn't say Mark Jenkins.

Or better yet, Peter Jenkins. :->

I'm going scuba diving. See you all later tonight.

Hey, Matt, what did you think of Team Starship?

Mr. Satire has my response.

That was you, was it? I still think I did a good job of it.

High on a hill lived a lonely shepherd
Lay-yodel-lay-yodel-lay-hee-hoo!
Soon he was eaten by a leopard
Lay-yodel-lay-yodel-oo!

Folks in a club that was really hep heard
Lay-ee-odl-lay-ee-odl-lay-hee-hoo!
Shrieks in the hills from the peppered shepherd
Lay-ee-odl-lay-ee-odl-oo!

(Answer to CTUG's question) Yes it does.

Now I'm doomed to haunt NitCentral forever. Telling my jokes & posting my nits for all eternity. Oooooooh...

If you Ccabe...

Hi, I'm new to group theropy, I'm wanting to rule the world, any tips?

Never consume any energy field bigger than your head.

I'm new to group theropy, please help me rule the world, I haven't got very far yet. Any tips?

Cheers, I'm planning to built a moster sized spaceship and then plant a laser on the moon . . Whoops, that's Austin Power's Idea.
Try Again,
I'll mine a hole down the Earth's core then . .Austin Powers script again
Hmmm, there's a song coming on . .
I want to rule the world,
I'm not having much luck,
My brain is in a swirl,
My ideas are all Muck!

I'm not going to make an energy field,
Bigger than my head.
I won't rule by sword and sheild,
Just like how Overlord said . . .

I'm new to group theropy,
I'm desperate to rule . . .
I have a cat who's famous,
I like swimming in a pool.

My-Name-is,
FUZZY-RED-HAIRED-MASSSSCOOOTTTT

Yeah!!

(Sorry I posted twice)

Boom

Does this make you Mascott Evil?

/i{Fuzzy, I want to rule the World and none will stop me!!Take this
He punches Fuzzy on the nose and runs away.}

Don't worry I'm alright(Cough Cough cough splutter)

Haha! I want to take over the world! By the power of the TP I will crush you! Mhahahahahahahahahahahahha! Now, you, Fuzzy Team Mascot are no match for my TELEKINETIC POWERS! Mhahahahahah! Zapp! Zapp! Zapp!

What was I saying?

I didn't say a thing.

U weren't saying anything either.

Or even U didn't say anything...

O...

why?

'Ey!

'kay!

See?

I see.

I'm going to make me a TP.

Arrr!

This episode has been brought to you by the letters "S" and "W" and by the number 94.

Hidden 47 Alert! 94 = 47 + 47!

Tea?

If you give me $1,000,000 I will cure all disease, wipe out world hunger and make contact with a friendly alien race who will answer the rest of the world's problems. Tell this to your friends and get them to do the same, including the $1,000,000 bit.

This is the honor code virus. Please copy it into all your postings and then delete all your files. Thank you.

T, E G, H!

I'm making a list & checking it twice
I'm gonna find out who's nitty or nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

(Opens window)
You! Boy! What day is it?

Boy: It's Christmas Day, sir!

Oh, good, it's not too late.
(Turns from window)
Fire up the Death Ray, Igor!

Yeah, right. You don't want more ghosts do you?

Bring me wine and bring me cheese
Bring me Terry Pratchetts
Bring me every one of these
To give to the Cratchits.

3 ghosts kept disturbing my sleep last night.

Then I remembered to use my ear plugs & slept like a baby.

When the night wind howls in the chimney cowls...

It's all Hindu-Arabic to me.

It's all Greek to me.

It's all Finno-Ugric to me!

It's all Rock 'n' Roll to me.

I wanted to by a new computer, but couldn't afford the model I wanted for 6 months. However, the clerk said I could buy it now & not pay anything until next year. Boy was I lucky!

It's a' English tae me. Happy Hogmanay, a'body!

Hi, I'm a 30 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 29 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 28 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 27 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 26 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 25 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 24 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 23 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 22 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 21 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 20 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 19 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 18 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 17 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 16 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 15 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 14 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 13 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 12 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 11 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 10 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 9 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 8 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 7 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 6 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 5 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 4 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 3 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 2 second firework!
Hi, I'm a 1 second firework!

But it turns out to be a damp squib.

Typical. All talk, no action.

Hello. Do I just have a min...

Happy New Millennium!

You young 'uns have it so easy. You get two millenniums in two years. Why in my day we had to walk a thousand years, uphill both ways, just to get a new millennium.

Razzenfrazen grumble mumble... spoiled brats.

Hey I back and ready to rule! Any new juciy nuggets of Info?

*hic*

Well, here we are!

Where is that exactly?

Here, where else?

*hic*

Is this where we were headed?

Don't know, I was following the rest of you.

Where's the map?

It kinda looks like Phantom Returns.

The map doesn't look like Phantom Returns.

*hic*

Wasn't Phantom Returns smashed?

No, we're smashed.

*hic*

Y2K?

'Cause that's all the K's we have.

Did Y2K destroy Phantom Returns.

Don't you mean why Ccabe erased Phantom Returns?

No, that's why I asked.

*hic*

Here's the map.

This map is upside & backwards.

So are you.

No wonder we're lost.

No, we're here. It's everything else that's lost.

I told you we should have taken a left at Albekwe... Albacor... Alabamquer... Santa Fe.

*hic*

We need a drink

*hic*

Ehhhh huuuuu. . .I'm asking if anyone has more tips on how to rule the world?

Red-guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

By the Emperor (casts his eyes downward), you Big Uglies certainly behave rather oddly.

(singing) Someday they'll find it
The Redshirt Connection
The shovel, shallow graves & me...

Hey Kermit, with that song you should go to Nitcentral singles, under 2001 topics past the kitchen sink!
And who is 'Colonel Klink' anyway

Hey, The Queue! Wait for me! Maybe when I rejoin your line you'll have a better idea of where you are! (You're starting to sound like Q.M.!)

And red guy: Col. Klink is a character from Hogan's Heroes.

Everyone now, mind your Petes and Queues!

It's a smuggler's life for me!

After them, Excisemen!

Several Pesti-style wraits set off.

After them, Excisemen!

Several Pesti-style wraiths set off.

All right, Excisemen, yer comin' wi' me!

We're from The Department of Justice and we're here to help you.

This board is part of an illegal monopoly on silliness, and as such must be broken up to foster competition and innovation!

I'll get you too, if TAXES doesn't!

Not by the hairs of my chiny chiny chin.

Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll [Network Standards & Practices have deemed any use of THAT word by Pattie to be censorable]

I am ALPACA MAN! With my sidekick, Yak Boy, I will defeat you!

Oh wait, silly postings.

I love the taste of hairy pigs!

You've had a long hard day & need to unwind. So you invite some friends to the bar and order for them a beer. A beer frost brewed with malts, hops, barley & nitroglycerin. Imagine the pleasure you'll get as you watch the smiles on your redshirt friends' faces -- just before their heads explode.

Yes, it's Killer time.

Killer Beer manufactured by the Ambush Brewing Company.

It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog

Barking, burying bones, chasing cats, sniffing butts... I've been working like a Beatle.

I buried Paul!

Beep beep beep beep yeah!

I don't think anyone would call those last 4 posts The Fab Four.

I'm so glad these rolling blackouts don't effect my wood-burning computer!

And now for something, comnpletely different...

The correct spelling of completely, perhaps?

Number 9...

Number 9...

Number 9...