The Marlboro Man is dead.
Long live the Marlboro Man!
In our dreams he reamins a hero of a thousand billboards, the ultimate salesman for the sexy macho flame of death.

Joel you magnifiscant bastard! I read your menu!

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Hmm.. it looks like Morris Code...

Uhh huh, right well, where were we? Yes I can do this, and that, and this, and that and I've read all of the messages posted on this place and this and that

Mr Smarty Pants sure sounds familiar. Should that post not begin with "Ehhhhh hhhhuuuuuu?"

Muhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha!

HI MR. SMARTY PANTS!!! WHAT KIND OF HISTORY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW US TODAY?
HEY LOOK... IT'S FATHER TIME AND BIG FAT BABY!!!!

I'm was smarty pants for that one vote

Huh, who invented Grammer

Kelsey Grammer? Or do you mean Grammar?

Someone@,Someone@}./@../..//@/..@ (It's fake by the by)

When chapman billies leave the street
And drouthy neighbours, neighbours meet...

It's Robert Burns Day!

P.S. You didn't think you'd see me again, did you? Muhahahahaha!

Wasn't there something else here? Was it deleted? Why am I not wearing pants?

Yes, there was something there. It was an offensive post and it was deleted. As for your pants, I have no idea

CCABE WHY WAS IT OFFENSIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it started with "What the **** is wrong with the German people" and went down hill from there.

Razzenfrazzen... LICC goes to Germany... mumble grumble... seems everyone's going there... mutter mumble grumble... and stuff.

(Shocked) Don't tell me that The New Menace of the Empires battle strikes hope in episode return the Phantom Ewok adventure in Endor 2 Episode 3 Part III is beginning to make sense!!!!! :o

I can't see, touch, taste, hear, or smell. Wouldn't you consider that senseless?

Hmph. No-one payed any attention to me. Let's see if I can find any compatible host. I'll use my TP senses. Nope, none. Now I'm stuck looking like some Scotch drunk. Och-ayyyyye! The noooooo! Hoots, mon! See ya Jimmy! Wee Hamish McSporran!

Ah well, looks like I'm going to have to go around spreading rumors.

Puts on a battle defense suit and picks up a slingshot, which he inserts in his pocket.

I hear the Sailor Senshi are really a GUY!!!!!!! And so is Hamburger Pattie! Muhahahahahaha!

Yeah, Okay . . .

Isn't anyone scared I'll someday RULE THE WORLD???

Not really. After all, Pinky and I have that locked up.

Not likely, my rattus rodentis friend. (I speak Latin, isn't that wondeful?)

By the way, Pinky likes a racehorse, Pinky likes a racehorse, pinky likes a racehorse...
And her name is Phar Fignewton.

Excuse me, but I'm a musca domestica. Although my genes have been spliced.

I know, I'm a telepath (that's a big word meaning "mind-reader"). I also summoned the first wing of satirical forces, before my rival Darth Pah Armus summond the second.

Your genes have been spliced. Well, I started out as an amalgm of various K-NIT TV viewers, due to a glitch in the Chronos Facility. Then when we left I put my consciousness into a tamagotchi. I have since been a hologram, a sith, a Mr Tambourine Man, a terminator thingy and Tam O'Shanter. Any compatible host, I download myself into.

This board is starting to make sense!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some Guy jumps out the window.

Relax, Some Guy (and by the way, I invented that name for a play, it's copyright)

There's nothing wrong with some chaotic order. Throwing such a wacky bunch of characters together is too good for constant nonsequitirs. There shouldn't be any LICC-style storylines, of course. (Heaven forbid!)

Hey, some guy, you stole my idea, I was going to write that! And Paddy, I knew you bring that up!

Maybe taking over the world is a bad idea. After all, I've already taken over the BOARD! Maybe I ought to change the name. Like: Tamworld, it's Total Participant Mayhem? Or the goofiest place on Earth owned by Total A. Mayhem? Any suggestions?

Silence is not the way
•••• the police
I stuck my weenie in a bottle
What if God smoked cannibus
See that I don't get it
Tonight and the rest of my life
And in my life I loved them all
I think I fell for the girl on TV
How do I deal with you
We are so young now
It's been five years since we went on-line

We represent the lawyer firm of Whynkin, Blincan and Knodd. The name "Some Guy" is copyright to Padawan N. Observer and has been used here without permission.

I wanne be the Judge, I wanne the Judge!!!!! Me cry I f me not judge

I'm gewtting more than $800 back form the IRS this year! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jesse Jackson, we are coming for you!

(In a Tantrum) Wahhhh, me wanne be Judge!!!

And a good judge too!

Yay-Hay! I'm the Judge and I'll sue you all, Muhahahahahahah

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

I killed the cat!

Tiddles, Tiddles are you alright???

Oooooooooo...

I'll haunt you for the rest of your life, Curiosity!

Ooooooooooooo...

Blas, get your blas here, fresh and boring blas, get your blas, buy one get one free Blas bla,bla,bla

I'd like a Choc Ice please! (Oh, no! Were going back to the Monty Python jokes . . .Not that I have anything against it!)

Excuse me, Mr Bla man, do you have any albatrosses?

Nopoe, only Blas, blas and blas blaing away. Gannet on a stick

What flavor is it?

Boring

With Sprinkles, and Chocolate sauce and flakes the works!

Mmmm, Sprinkles...

Yup, all the flavoyrs/tastes/colours of the rainbow!

KID 1: Power of red!
KID 2: Power of orange!
KID 3: Power of yellow!
KID 4: Power of green!
KID 5: Power of blue!
KID 6: Power of indigo!
KID 7: Power of violet!

They all stand in a circle, pinting their rings inward. In all the flashes of light appears...

RAINBOW MAN!

Do you like my belt?

It's OK.

Does my Bum look big in this?

Yes

Suits you, sir!

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

This is a job for Sprinkle Boy!

And RAINBOW MAN!

Sprinkle Boy, we'd like to inspect your sprinkles -- someone nicked the apostrophes from the poster names, and those things look awfully suspicious...

Maybe he stole them from Bob Brehm.

That wasn't very nice, was it? And I don't like that TAM fellow either (smites him) Now, back to building Multivac. He created me, you know. Yes, that wouldn't work normally but I can be anywhere and anywhen. Hmmm, the humans are about to make first contact with the Vulcans. (Goes back to ancient times and creates the Vulcans)

Nope, I Checked and All my apostophes seem to be in order. However, as for my Ps and Qs, thats another story all together. Maybe the Queue had something to do with it.

Well, Rainbow man, the world has been saved, or has it, we shall never know if it is safe or un-safe. Our enemys, the villains of the Earth, could be hiding anywhere, Even on our message boards.

Our enemies, my dear Sprinkle Boy, are the Frank Conspiracy.

If there's one thing this board needs more of, it's superheroes. There was hardly any posting on Phatom Returns when it degenerated into random silliness. I say, let's have stuff happen, but no storylines (just threads).

Right, Sprinkle Boy? (And if people get fed up with us, we'll get our own board, just like LICC!!!)

Get on with it.

Yes, get on with it.

GET ON WITH IT!

Rainbow Man, I and my sidekick, Yak Boy, challenge you to a duel!

Strangely enough, this is how LICC got started

Yeah, get 'em! I call on the Power of the Yak to destroy Sprinkle Boy!

HRRRRRRUNNNNHHHHHHH!!!

Five million yaks appear out of the void and trample Sprinkle Boy

ENougH SuperHEroES. We won an award without any stoopid superherows anyways (Board VIII won a looney award!)

Ah, but we are superheroes of randomness, who interact flawlessly with silly posters and mingle with them so we don't even stand out.

Alpaca Man, how could you? I'll ahve to bring Sprinkle Boy back.

Picks up a phone, that appeared out of nowhere.

Get me a sorcerer.

Now, Alpaca man, you underestimate the power of Rainbow Man!

Pulls out a rainbow-colored lightsabre, again, out of nowhere...

I'm still alive, as the colours, nd many different tastes will always remain in people's heart . . .

(Hmmm, how about a Roll-Playing board called 'Sprinkle Boy & Rainbow Man!'?)

Well, let's begin the fight! And wry comments from other people.

Sprinkle, wait till more people are willing to contribute!

Ah ha! How will your Jedi weapon work when faced with my Ultimate Power!?!?!?

Alpaca Man pulls out a huge hose from his backpack, turns a spigot and...

SLLLURRRRRPPP!

Thousands of gallons of corrosive alpaca saliva engulf the two heroes!

...and are sucked up theselves, leaving the heroes relatively dry.

Okay, tell me when you think there should be a roll-playing board and then we can set it up!

We'll just keep this going here!

Take this you vacum cleaner!
Stawberry Sprinkles start to shoot out of Sprinkle's arm making holes in 'A Giant Vacuum Cleaner'
Ah-ha, now I have you quickly, Rainbow Man, are you alright!

I'm fine, Sprinkle Boy. Fluid does not harm one such as me. Now, we must make our revenge!

Actually, the vacuum cleaner was a good guy, he was drying the heroes.

HAHAHAHA! How can you expect to defeat your enemies when you fight your allies? HAHAHAHA!

Yak Boy! It is time for your most devastating weapon!

Yes!

Pulls out a small acoustic guitar and starts to sing

BYAHHAYHAYYALLALALALALALALASDUAHSIUAAAAA!

AHAUYHAUHAUHAUAUHAUHAUHAUAH!

WAKAWAKAWAKWAKAKWAKWKAKKWKWKAK!

AND YOU LOOOOVE ME TOOOO!

Put on the magic space earmuffs!

Suddenly, a section of the floor bulges and a hole opens. A strange man dressed as a rodent pops up
Anybody order some worms from Subterrerian Wormaterium??

I'll take those, vermin!

Gopher Boy, are you on the side of ME, or on the side of ALPACA MAN?

Make up your mind, good or bad?

Yes, choose!

Choose the good, Gopher Boy!

looking from speaker to speaker
Who's good and whose bad?
I just came here to make a simple delivery!

I'm good!

"No, I'm good!"

Okay, we're all good, but that doesn't mean we can't destroy each other!

Um, Alpaca...I think we're bad...but that doesn't mean we can't be good later...

Okay, we're bad! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Prepare for trouble, Alpaca Man!

Take this!

Alpaca Man quickly constructs a de-humidifier, and dissipates the ever-present rain clouds above Rainbow Man. With his source of refraction gone, Rainbow Man begins to rapidly disintegrate!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Gopher Boy grabs a hose from who-knows-where and turns it on. He aims it over Rainbow Man and then tosses the worms at Alpaca Man
One order of worms, to go!

Geeeeeee, how many Superheros are there here Rainbow Man? we're goin to have to use all of our wit against this lot!

Oh no! I'm disintegrating! Rainbow kids, I'll need you to support me!

Red: sure thing Rainbow Man! Power of red!
Power of orange!
Power of yellow!
Power of green!
Power of blue!
Power of indigo!
Power of violet!

Yum, worms! Crunch crunch crunch...TAPEWORMS???

Blech!

I'll get you, Gopher Boy!!!

All of that power of indigo stuff reminds me of an old TV program I watched once or twice (Sadly) and 'Good stuff Rainbow kids!'

Powders some "Earthquake pills" and slips them in the water Alpaca man is going to drink to wash out the taste of the worms.

Of course, I would never have a problem like that.

Rainbow man, quick over there, Gopher Boy is going to destroy that building we must stop him!

Gopher Boy is on our side, Sprinkle Boy, it must be an evil building.

I'm just standing by this building... why the dynamite? This happens to be Alpaca Man's headquarters...

I don't rust you Gopher, one day you will turn sides and destroy both ME AND RAINBOW MAN!

Okay, I'm calm, I'm Calm!

But not KAM...

HA! You cannot blow up my Headquarters, it's unexplosable!

And I am forming a new Super-Villain Coalition!

The Khaotic Abhorrent Misanthropes!

You cannot hope to defeat the K.A.M.!

Crowd Member #1: Look! It's a snake!
Crowd Member #2: No, it's a rat!
Crowd Member #3: No, it's... Lawyer Man!

Announcer: Yes, Lawyer Man! Strange prosecuter from another planet with an understanding of the law greater than mortal men. Who fights for his clients because they pay him. Lawyer Man!

(Lawyer Man lands in front of Alpaca Man &, faster than a speeding bullet, hands him a Cease & Desist Order)
My client uses those initials to sign his artwork. Therefore he has a propietary claim to them as his Trademark.

Also the Spelling Police will probably want to talk to you about your blatant misspelling of the word Chaotic.

(In a burst of red tape Lawyer Man takes off to bill his client.)

Lawyer man, I wish to sue Sprinkle Boy And Rainbow Man. And Alpha guy, Goophfer man and thinking about it you too, and everyone!

You can't do that!

A fight breaks out and many more Lawyers join in with it

Help me Rainbow Man, Help . . .Me . . .

Rainbow-leaps into the fight, grabs Sprinkle Boy, and rainbow-leaps out. Rushes to a computer.

Search for "Rainbow Man"... Yes! I only exist here. And "Sprinkle Boy"! But, whoa, what's this, Alpaca man and Yak Boy are copyright to MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER THREE THOUSAND! Arrest them!

Neh-neh-de/ne-neh!

Watch out Rainbow man! The zombie of a lawyer is behind you!

What do they do, threaten you with expired copyrights? They don't scare me.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

You overlook the fact that this is a chaotic universe, Rainbow Man, and as such, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN! HAHAHAHA!

Alpaca Man gestures, and a huge switch, labeled "LAWYERS", appears out of nowhere. Alpaca Man flexes his arms, grabs the huge lever, and pulls it to "OFF". Every lawyer in the dimension disintegrates with a dispairing wail. The switch disappears back into the void.

But, in the interests of not ticking off a fellow poster, we are renaming ourselves!

The CHAOTIC ABHORRENT MISANTHROPES!

The CAM will destroy you!

Not likely! Since a lack of lawyers means we're allowed to steal from MST3K...

I HOPE I NEVER HAVE TO SEE ALPACA MAN OR YAK BOY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmm, I woder how Quake/Doom would look if it had Lawyers in place of other horrible things? Nahh, Someone else has probably thought of that.

Hi, I'm Alpaccy, the Alpaca Man Sprite! NOOOOOOO ALPACA MAN!

And I'm Yakko, the Yak Boy Sprite! NOOOOOOOOOO YAK BOY!

The two "dark heroes" disappear.

I do NOT understand this place never have done, never will do

Sprinkle Boy picks up a piece of string, ties it to a lampost and swings into a building on his way into it he picks up a pen froma desk and swings pout again, then he jumps off at such an angle than he jumps onto a car. Then he takes the Pen (It's a fountain pen by the by) and squirts up into the air, the ink falls down at such a speed so that it land into a puddle of water instantly diluiting intself and satining the trouser leg of 'Laywer Man'
Ha-Ha! Take that!

Hey, Lawyer Man you could sue him for that, and you don't have to answer but you do have the right to speak if you wish! (Whatever happened to 'YAK BOY'?)

Yak Boy and Alpaca Man were the two dark heroes that disappeared due to the sprites.

Oh, yeah! I got an E-mail about that!

Well, Sprinkle Boy, it seems the world is safe again. But... for HOW LONG?

(Simpsons reference there?)
Yes, who knows, round the corner there could be, a new Yak boy, an old Lawyer, a mother in law? Who knows. Maybe we will never get any rest with all of those villans all trying to defeat us, and mankind . . . .

(Note for Rainbow man, how about or own board for this R.M. and S.B. stuff now?)

Perhaps. I think it should be more conventional superhero than LICC.

Maybe just try it out for a while, I'd say it should be under Role-playing boards at the Kitchen Sink what do you think? I think now would be the time to start it up as this board is probably going to be replaced soon.

Ok, I've given you guys a board!

All Your Base Are Belong To Us!

Woof!

Frog blast the vent core!!!

Shouldn't you be speaking French?

Who let the dogs out?

Somebody set up us the bomb!

I did! I let the dogs out!!

What You Say?

Move ZIG!

I DID IT, IT WAS ME . . .I DID LET THE DOGS OUT . . HONESTLY, IT WAS ME WHO DID IT, I LET THEM OUT, ALL OF THEM, ROVER . . .THE LOT!!

He is then transported away to the funny farm

I'm a mad March hair, (Chuckle) sorry, Hare!

So use some hare gel.

Why is a Raven like a Writing-desk?

What came first, The kitchen or the Sink?

Move Zig!

I feel like evryone is ignoring me, with my question.

Did someone say something?

You remind me of me, Annononononononnonoononononoononononnoonononononon
onononononnymonymonymonymonymonymonymonymonymonymo
us.

Enquiries have been so often addressed to me, as to whether any answer to the Hatter's Riddle can be imagined, that I may as well put on record here what seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer, viz: 'Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front!' This, however, is merely an afterthought; the Riddle, as originally invented, had no answer at all.

(Pointless talk)

............. <- those are points!

Marry, sir, I have a pretty wit! I can rhyme you from dawn to day to set of sun, and, if that content you not, well on to midnight and the small hours. Oh, sir, a pretty wit, I warrant you, a pretty, pretty wit!

This is a 12 point font!

This board has over 131k while board 2 only has over 50k. Let's all go back to board 2 & drive consecutive post fans nuts.

I'm Pointing you in the direction ->

"Point"!

What we try to do everynight Pinky . . .

TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

They're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, brain brain Brain

"Narf"

From Board II: I can see Mir coming down. It's really a beautiful sight. Oh, wait... Here comes another piece... lower than the rest... I think it's goining to AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa....

only static follows

Ewwwww... yuck.

starts sweeping up the pieces...