In the last episode a couple of people died. We think.

Nah...they're just....asleep....*wah!* I want my mommy!

OK, here's what we know. A poorly dressed Kiehart has reunited, again, with Adon, Tacoman and the others. Unfrotunately his trusty guns were melted by the evil Taconator, leaving him stuck with a knife and a make-shift club.

And, don't forget....Female Redshirt was killed by O'kak, and O'kak was kakked by Adon! (Depending on whether on not Matt's fix is accepted; either way, Female Redshirt is dead!)

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(Chish and Fips is a wholly-owned subsidiary or Galvanized Salvage and Fertilizer, Inc., a newly-acquired division of Tomaine Industries.)

[Author's note: Concerning these Chish & Fips commercials; if you don't know what Rocky Mountain Oysters are, you DON'T want to know! Trust me!]

Rocket Ranger looks at the X-cwX drone he knocked the stuffing out of; it appears to be alive, but unconscious. RR pulls off some of the nastier looking attachments and accessories the drone has.

Good. I might be able to use this drone for my own experiments. Then the X-cwX may cease to be a threat! (He pauses and looks closer) Hmm...this one appears to be a female....or a really effiminate male!

RR stands up and looks around. The double-bladed saber is gone, and the corpse of Female Redshirt along with it!

Wait a minute! What happened here?! She's gone!

Jadlad has been destroying drones left and right with supercharged pizza slices and dimension hopping to various places at the same time. He recovers the polymorph pistol from where the dead Female Redshirt was.

I'm surprised it's still intact!

He carries on the fight!

Kiehart continues slugging his way through O'kakian troops, doing the best he can with his limited armarment. But Tacoman and Adon are right behind him, batting clean up so to speak. Suddenly Kiehart hears a familiar voice.

Oh, why can't you just die already? You're really pissing me off! And what in the name of all things chaotic are you wearing?!?

Kiehart, Here's the Cybertec catalog. Go crazy with it.
In the meantime...
Tacoman replicates a couple of small but powerful phasers and hands them to Kiehart.
Have fun.

Rocket Ranger is pissed!

Taconator, I don't know if you can here me or not, but know this; you can make a hundred or even a thousand clones of O'kak for all I care! But know this...I swear by all that is holy that they will all be destroyed! I also swear on the grave of my dead brother Randall, the Spork Knight, that this ends here! The death of Female Redshirt was the last straw!
Taconator, you, the X-cwX and the O'kakians are finished! You all have one hour to get off of Earth, or YOU WILL DIE!!

HA HA HA! I knew killing one of you would work to my advantage! Furious, are you? Incredibly angry, are you? Blinded by rage, perhaps? HA HA HA! Glorious! Glorious! I do SO love inflicting pain and suffering. And as for you, Rocket Ranger...

The massive duranium wall directly behind Rocket Ranger detaches, and the huge 4-foot thick slab of metal crashes down on the hero with horrific force, making a noise like the voice of doom. From the new opening in the wall rush many more X-CwX drones. They now seem to be in a berserker rage, rushing headlong at our heroes, striking once or twice, getting blasted or chopped, falling to the ground, reforming and attacking again. All the while Taconator's laughter booms throughout the room, growing louder and louder...

Milkshake yells to Tacoman above the constant sound of battle and the psychotic laughter of Taconator

Captain, we need to stop the missile! May I suggest a tactical retreat?!

Milkshake spins and blasts two approaching drones apart with his tiny pistol.

You'll see what happens to O'kak later.

Used tactical nukes! Cheap! Made in Russia-can't be destroyed!

Rocket Ranger throws the duranium slab off of himself like it was a piece of paper. The slab smashes into three X-cwX drones, flattening them. RR activates every weapon in his armor and starts blasting the drones to pieces. Body parts fly everywhere and are atomized before they hit the ground. He has become Death walking!

Taconator, don't let your mouth write a check your butt can't cash! I'm the repo-man, and your @ss is overdue!

Two drones advance on RR. He grabs one with each hand and smashes their heads together with a sick thud as their skulls shatter. Another drone moves in, shooting. Not even fazed, Rocket Ranger grabs the drone and executes a backbreaker with such fury it snaps the drone in half. He punches another drone in the face so hard that its head goes flying off, spinning before it hits the ground. He then fires all of his weapons, atomizing all of the drones that are left, except for one drone that tries to flee RR takes it out with a wrist-launched explosive rocket that causes the drone to flip in the air before falling over and exploding into a million pieces when it hits. RR holds up his wrist and looks at the smoking barrel of the launcher.

Taconator, come get some!

Good idea, Commander!
Hey look.. my bracelet!
Tacoman picks up the bracelet from the ground and slaps it on his wrist. he presses the silver button and the exosuit forms. He also activates every weapon on his exosuit and begins firing along with Rocket. He slices and dices the various body parts that Rocket misses
Just thought you might need some help.

Wait, I have heat vision!
(Melts a drone)
Come back from that!

Magnus time!

(Uses karate chops to break droids in half)

Ubermole People! Attack the drones.

Meanwhile, out in space, a strange object heads toward Earth. It appears to be a crystalline structure, shaped much like a hexagon.....a hexagon the size of Manhattan Island!

You fool, when will you realize you cannot possibly match my technological might? I am more powerful than you can imagine!!!

Without a sound, Tacoman's, Milkshake's, and Rocket Ranger's exosuits and bracelets turn to dust.

Fools.

YES, I AM HERE, THOUGH HITHERTO CONCEALED!

SO TO THE POWER OF THE FORCE AND RING O'KAKIANS YEILDDDDDDDD!

Activates lightsabre, and begins hacking drones right and left, adding comments like "Your shoelace is undone" and "Major look!"

Shows up with the main heroes, and says...

By the power of the ring, I will punish you!

Zaps Taconator!

I can't BELIEVE I said that!

Commander Milkshake tells PD Insane to stop zapping computer screens.

Adon slices another drone into pieces.

Since Taconator is in the computers, what would happen if they were to be turned off? It should at least get him to keep quiet.

Adon turns and chops another drone to pieces.

(Kicks a droid)

Computer, compute to the last digit, the number pi, the square root of 2 and install Windows 3000 then uninstall Internet Explorer.

That should stop him.

Pesti, meet me in pestiChat!

(Observer appears in the midst of the melee.)

Captain, it's obvious we can't defeat him with our technology. Try your super powers, everyone! Taconator can not overcome your inherent abilities. Watch!

(Observer chants a spell, casts it, and two X-CwX drones turn to stone. They remain motionless, and do not reform.)

See?

Hmmm.

Zaps drone with power-ring. It decomposes.

Cool.

Oh, great! `Try your super powers, everyone!', Observer? What about those of us that don't have any?! (Quincy pauses) I'll be right back.....
(Quincy activates a device on his belt. He instantly transports back to his lab on the spidership) Okay, Taconator, you just had to go there, didn't you?! Maybe this will cool you off! (Quincy grabs a new bracelet and a container holding something else. He puts the bracelet on, pulls the sleeve of his jacket over the bracelet so it can't be seen, then transports back.) Taconator, why don't you come out and show yourself, instead of hiding like the spineless, yellow coward you are?!

Certainly. I'll take that.

Quincy suddenly feels the container slipping out of his hands. He whirls around, to see a morph of Taconator standing several feet away, holding the container.

Interesting. Will you tell me what it is, before I destroy it? I am not stup¡d, hero. And I would say you have about 10 minutes before my missile launches and dooms your world. I'd advise you use the time wisely.

Taconator morphs into the floor, taking the container with him.

Superpowers eh,

(Uber breaths in deep and blows air at the area of the floor where he morphed into)

ice blast!

Actually, Observer, many of us have used our powers, but some haven't worked very well.

I say we tear the ship apart, and hurl it into the sun and end Taco and O'kak forever!

Quincy smiles.

Thanks, Taconator. You did exactly what I was hoping you would do! (He presses a button on a device he had concealed in the palm of his hand) Take this, you bastard! (A few seconds everyone hears an explosion, followed by the sound of Taconator, screaming in agony.) Guess what happens when electricity meets 15 gallons of water?!

Note to JD: No getting out of this one; you did say Taconator was made out of electricity, and there's no way he could have dropped the container between the time he left with it and the time Quincy pressed the button! Lets just say Taconator's hurting pretty bad!

He's made out of energy, not electricity. But let's say it worked.

Rrgh! Very good, but I don't have time to deal with you right now. Try fighting me after your race has been changed into drones, one and all. Then we will see who wins. By the way, try to use your bracelet again. Just try. You're not the only one with a sense of generosity. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

The voice of Taconator fades and leaves.

Strangely, the drones that are attacking our heroes no longer reform. They lie on the ground, blasted, chopped or torn. The crew quickly finish them off and as Adon dismembers the last X-CwX, a silence fills the room.

I've got a bad feeling about this. C'mon, we need to stop that missile!

Milkshake plugs his ammunition clips into his suit recharger and runs out the door.

[Author's note: JD, you screwed up! There is no way Taconator would able to know Quincy has a new bracelet (remember, Taconator destroyed the old one); Quincy got the new bracelet back on the spidership, and its concealed under his jacket, which has really tight sleeves; no way he can see it. So, when Quincy does use the bracelet (which isn't what you think it is, btw....no armor; does something else. I thought about this for a while, and lets just say Rocket Ranger is no more! *evil grin*)]


You destroyed my bracelet, remember? Or are senile, as well as a coward? If you're so blasted powerful, then why are you afraid to go toe to toe with a powerless human like me? Is it because you're a wuss?! (He pauses and smiles) And don't you feel much better after that bath? (Quincy starts laughing)

Fine. You want to play rough? I'll play rough.
Tacoman to the fleet, prepare to fire all weapons at the O'kak command center. Fire on my mark. Focus your energy at the large missile.
Tacoman, still having his large and dangerous weapon, fires at more drones. He switches to polymorph mode, changing the drones into less dangerous objects, like banana pudding
prepare to evacaute to the Spider. We'll achieve orbit and bomb this place to kingdom come.

Oh, I'm afraid your friends can't hear you, Captain. I took the liberty of jamming your subspace signals. And as for you, Mr. Rocket, ever hear of sensors? Fine. I am tiring of this as well.

The room shimmers around Tacoman and the crew, and they reappear in a vastly different place. Milkshake also appears, and he was evidently running when transported, because he jogs directly into a wall.

The room is very dark and very large, with one metal sphere about 6 feet in diameter floating in the center. As the crew watches, the sphere floats to the ground and forms into Taconator. The real Taconator.

This is it. You, against me and all my technological might. No escape. Prepare to die!

Taconator grows weapons of all descriptions out of his body and charges!

Adon draws his sword.
Lets get it on.

Adon runs towards Taconator and jumps into the air. Taconator merely smiles. Just as the sword is about to connect with Taconator, a force field springs into existence. There is a flashy display of sparks as Adon tries to force his way through the field. Eventually, the force field wins, and Adon is thrown across the room and into the wall.

Ouch....

Tacoman opens the flap on his suit, punches in a code, and a small wormhole appears in front of him. He presses another button, and the wormhole gets a bit bigger. He sticks his head and arm inside and starts rummaging around. He first comes up with:
Ah... a small bomb!
Tacoman activates the bomb, which starts talking. He throws the bomb at Taconator. He looks inside the wormhole again and pulls out a hover-generator. He tosses it aside for now. Giving one more look, Tacoman produces a small jar with what appears to be dust inside. a label on the jar says "Nanobots." He collects the Hover-generator and pours the jar inside the generator. Tacoman presses a few buttons on the generator, reprogramming the nanobots. He presses one more button, and several million nanites rush towards Taconator.
And last but not least...
Tacoman fires his dangerous weapon, still in polymorph mode, at Taconator.

Quincy smiles, and it is a sinister `I'm gonna tear you a new one, then go kill your entire family for good measure-type' smile!

Taconator, you don't realize what you've been dealing with! I've been letting you toy with me, and I've been toying with you, because it was fun! But killing Female Redshirt really was the last straw! Before I came to join LICC, I realized being a tech-wiz with awesome armor wouldn't be enough, so I underwent several experiments....experiments that made me more powerful than you could possibly imagine! (He pauses) I won't be needing this....doesn't do anything! (He pulls off the bracelet from under his jacket and throws it down) ROCKET POWER! (As he yells, he throws his right hand into the air. There is an explosive flash of bright light. When it clears, Quincy is dressed the same, but he is covered in a teal glow and is floating off the ground) This is the REAL Rocket Ranger! (With a really angry look on his face, he points at Taconator) And you, Taconator, are about to die!

Tacoman looks over in suprise at Rocket
My friend, I am impressed. You wouldn't happen to be a Wanderer, would you?
Tacoman presses another button on his keypad and the wormhole opens as wide as it could go. Tacoman strolls inside and a tank rolls out. The wormhole closes to a small size again. The tank opens, and Tacoman's head pops out
It's amazing what you can store in storage wormhole.
Tacoman closes the tank and aims the turrent at Taconator

Several copies of Quantum Man appear

Ah, but which one is the correct Quantum Man? Even I don't know for sure... I hope you don't mind my droning on, but after what you had planned for me...

Rocket Ranger laughs at Tacoman's question

Me? A Wanderer? No, not quite. My powers are.... well, I'm not going to go into that right now. Maybe after we take care of Taconator and the rest. (He pauses) Jadlad, time to use that sphere I gave you! Slow this worthless piece of scum down!

Really, nanobots? Ho hum.

The billions of nanobots suddenly turn and begin to dismantle Tacoman's tank! The Polymorph beam is deflected by a Normality Field, and Taconator grabs the bomb, and swallows it!

Delicious.

Taconator gestures and tremendous amounts of penetrating radiation emanate from his hands. Any organic material it hits begins to wither!

Kiehart hides in the shadows while Taconator is ditracted by Tacoman and Adon. Kiehart is searching for a wekaness he can exploit. So far no luck. A light bulb goes off in his mind, and Kiehart decides to attack from behind, but then stops himself. "Maybe if he extends his powers too far he'll end up destroying himself." he thinks. "Time to give him a few too many targets". He goes through the CyberTec catlog that the captain handed him, and found something that could be useful "Drone Controller! Take any drone soldier and turn it against it's original owner! Time to go get some back up." With a siwft distracting move he bolts for the door, narrowly avoiding Taconator's weapons. Weapons that were originally trained on Tacoman and Adon. Tacoman and Adon move to take advantage of the distraction, and...

Hey, Taconator! I have a little trick up my sleeve for just such an occasion...

Adon reaches under his cloak and, surprisingly enough, pulls out a bigscreen TV. Then, with a flick of his sword, a portal opens and a couch falls out. Sitting on the couch are one dazed human and two dazed robots.

Enjoy the movie... "Manos, the Hands of Fate." BWA-HAHAHA!

Adon pulls out a remote control and presses the play button. As the credits start to role, there is a particular message... "Brought to you by Taconator," next to a picture of Taconator. With a cry of terror, the poor human and the two robots leap over the couch and attempt to extract revenge on Taconator for making them watch that horrible movie again.

Missed me. Are you feeling a little... uncertain?

All of the QM images raise their hands and fire a lavender beam at Taconator. It bounces off his shield, but the shields start to compress inwards.

To The Observer and all: These are a native ability, not technological.

The Furby climbs the missile, opens the top hatch and grabs the nanobot container.

"Delicious! Crunchy Bot! Yummy!"

He starts to eat the nanobots, very much like an ant-bear.

Kiehart bounces off a force-field in the doorway; he looks around, but there is no way to get through! However, touching the force-field has had a strange effect on his clothing, transforming them; he is now wearing a white cowboy hat, pink `I'm with s t u p i d' t-shirt, orange suspenders, purple parachute pants (M.C. Hammer-sized!), and blue suede shoes! He tries to go through the doorway again, but it stops him again. This time it does not affect his clothing...instead, his hair turns bright red!

So, If I must die to protect Germany, so be it. I will use brute power. I will Help Quantium Man.

(With all of his strenght, Uber punches Taconators sheild, he keeps at it knowing even Neutronium cannot withstand the will of this great hero and the Triforce. Taconator's sheild is weakening as some points have lowered engergy to guard agaist uberpunches where it matters. Taconator is slowly over heating from the stress.)

Argh! Go back to Wisconsin!

Taconator throws the human and bots into a spaceship and launches it.

You will never succeed! Take this!

Taconator somehow increases the value of h for every image of Quantum Man, causing them to madly richochet across the room at a frightening speed!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Right! I'm on it! Take that!

Jadlad points the ball at Taconator.

Kiehart is REALLY PO'ed now. He flips through the catalog again and finds something interesting in the back pages under the heading "Bargain Bin."

The Root of the Problem
Club +1, +3 vs. unnatural creatures
This enchanted club is said to have existed since the time of the fall of Netheril and the birth of the great Anauroch Desert. While the toll on civilization was great, the true victims were nature's creatures, condemned to stand and watch as their homes decayed and died. As habitats receded, those that remained were invaded by displaced hordes of creatures, the more impatient of which marched on unspoiled land taking whatever they wished. This particular weapon is said to have come from a dryad's tree, a final gift to nature's cause from a woodland spirit that could not hold back the invaders of her land. Hers was a bittersweet pain, as her wood might not have suffered so if it had not been so strong and lush. Less respecting scholars have since bestowed the item's ironic name, though the humor is not appreciated among nature's more devout followers.

STATISTICS:

THAC0: +1, +3 vs. unnatural creatures
Damage: 1D6 +1, +3 vs. unnatural creatures, +1 acid damage
Damage type: crushing and acid
Weight: 3
Speed Factor: 3
Proficiency Type: Club
Type: 1-handed
Requires: 5 Strength
Not Usable By:
Mage

"Not very high-tech, but still pretty useful. Taconator is as unnatural as they come." He summons up a "Root of the Problem" club, and runs towards Taconator, swinging.


He hits one of the many weapons extending from Taconator's body. The wepon breaks off and Taconator screams in pain, a scream so loud that the walls begin to shake. He lashes out, slamming Kiehart into a nearby wall so hard he almost goes through it. Instead only a large dent is left behind, and Kiehart is dazed. His club flew out of his hand when he hit the the wall, and landed right in front of Tacoman.

The sphere begins to glow a bluish-green color, with yellow sparks floating in it. Suddenly a beam shoots out from the ball and strikes Taconator, who glows the same color as the ball! He has been the victim of a time deceleration; everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is now moving faster than him. Basically, to him everyone is moving at super-speed! (Like The Flash)

Note to JD: The sphere is an ancient, mystic artifact; no technology for Taconator to screw around with this time! (And if he can control sorcerous artifacts, I give up!)

Webber, if you're still here....CHATROOM! NOW!

Before Tacoman can pick up the club, it vanishes! Suddenly a booming voice appears out of nowhere and it is angry!

Intruder! How DARE you steal from my world! (Suddenly the Cybertec catalog, and Kiehart, both glow yellow for a few seconds. When the glow vanishes, the voice speaks once more.) Never again will that book be able to reach into my lands and plunder from it! And you, who summoned the legendary club, let the punishment fit the crime! (Suddenly anything Kiehart is carrying that can be used as a weapon vanishes in a puff of smoke!) If I have to return, you will regret it!

"Now that is just plain unfair!" Kiehart exclaims. He opens a Wanderer portal. "I'll be right back sir!"

Webber, meet me in the chatroom asap!

BF: Thanks for the talk.

*story*

Another portal opens and Kiehart returns. Kiehart is carrying what appears to be a blue bag. He points the top of the bag at Taconator, pulls the ties, and smiles. The bag opens up, and starts sucking Taconator into it. In fact anything with any sort of mystical energy is drawn to wards the bag, but thankfully Adon is behind Kiehart, and thus his sword is in no danger. "Sucks, don't it?" The groans coming from behind him tells Kiehart that his pun is not appreciated. He sighs, than turns to Tacoman to explain, all the while ignoring the rather humourous image of Taconator struggling against the whirlwind. "You see, I went and talked to that Elminster guy. Basically we hammered out a deal. He gave me something I could use to defeat Taconator, under the condition that I never visit, send anyone, nor take any item from his universe. He gave this ring that will kill me if I attempt to do so. I took without argument, as a show of faith. Too bad though. I kinda liked him, and would've loved to get to know him better. But, it's like they say. Life's a •••••, and then you marry one."

Oh, and I'm repeating this statement made in the chat room, solely for record-keeping purposes.

"I never intended to use babylon 5 characters or races here anymore anyway. That was a one-shot deal that actually went on longer than anticipated."

(A new character suddenly appears in a flash of light. She is wearing red and white, is blonde, carries a sword and is wearing armor.)

I seriously doubt that will work.

But this will,

Level 10 Exorcism!

A bright white blast of energy fills the room, the evil of Taconator is pushed the furthest possible into the bag.

She gives a familier smile, laughs and says "I can't believe this took a month, I'm Donna."

"Hi. I'll ask questions later. For right now, let's-" He is interupted by the sound of the bag closing itself. Taconator is gone. "All right! By the time he figures a way out, technology will be so far ahead of now that he'll go from Super Villian, to annoying nuisance. Thanks for the assist Donna. If you don't mind my asking, who are you?"

*Hey, you guys said "getting rid of, without really killing was OK. Beisdes, there are enough toys in that bag, placed by Elminster no doubt, to keep Taconator distracted for about 500 years.*

Kiehart holds up a finger. "Oh, wait, before you answer, I gotta do something." He opens a portal, and tosses the bag through it. "There. If he does get out, he'll be surrounded by (reference to pre-established race from pre-established universe removed)! That'll •••• him off no end. Now, where was I?"

Inside the bag, Taconator is fuming mad. The blow from the strange weapon left him disoriented, allow him to get sucked into this non-dminesion. He is surrounded by pure blackness. He sees a glimmer out the corner of his eyes. he turns, and walks towards it.

A Rubiks cube, with pictures of nude women on the squares instead of covers? Interesting. Well, I can escape later, I suppose.

••••! That was supposed to read instead of COLORS! God I'm havin' a bad day!

Kiehart gets out the revised catalog, and gets his wish. To look like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. He even got the guns to go with it. With some additional catalog help, he gets some nanbots that will re-load the guns automatically using spent shells, and any other debris withing 10' of Kiehart. Also, the bullets in these guns, just like his old ones, are Neutronium jacketed, but in addition, the bullets in the handguns carry explosive charges, and the automatic ones carry a potent poison. Kiehart puts on his new sunglasses and smiles. "•••• Roland. Now I am the ultimate Gunslinger. Course I can't do that dodging bullets thing, or fly, or jump large distances, but I am practically invulnerable! Of course, if an enemy ever attacks me with a {reference to pre-established universe removed} I'm boned!"

Welcome to the team, Donna. Good job everybody. Now we only have to deal with a missile and clones of O'kak to deal with...
Tacoman looks closer at Donna
Say, you look a bit familiar...

Rocket Ranger overhears Tacoman

Well, Captain, we can always wait for the missile to launch, then use the spidership's Polymorph Rifle on it! As for the O'kak clones.....I say we just drop a nuke on this place, like someone suggested earlier. I could use my powers to seal the clones inside until the nuke hits!


[Author's note: Interesting way of getting rid of Taconator, Webber. I was going to have RR seal Taconator in a sphere of solid light, then dump it in the deepest part of the ocean! So...Kiehart is basically a cross between Neo from the Matrix, The Gundslinger from the Black Tower novels, and Bruce Willis' character from Unbreakable?]

Don't be so happy with yourself, Kiehart; If Jadlad hadn't used the time-sphere that I gave him, you never would have been able to catch Taconator with that magic bag!
As for the way I've been acting, and my powers, I feel I should explain myself while we have a few minutes. My older brother Randall, the hero known as the Spork Knight, was killed by a race of aliens similar to the O'kakians. As a matter of fact, it may have been the O'kakians' race!
We were patrolling a remote section of Saturn, when we found a strange ship. Three aliens confronted us, and while we were talking, one of them shot Randall in the back! I used my armor's cannons to obliterate their spaceship, then I arrested them; they're all spending the rest of their lives on a penal planet.
The reason I kept my powers hidden is simple; I wasn't ready to reveal them yet! However, you have seen a taste of them; the portals that I opened up in sickbay that sucked up the talking bombs were created by \i(me}, not one of my devices, as it appeared to be! Unfortunately, I cannot form huge portals, or I'd just s uck up the clones and the missile!

Rikard, who was nowhere near the battle enters a room to find a BIG missile.

Well, well, look what we have here.

He reaches for the comm, but it isn't working.

Well, I guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way.

He opens a panel to find a lot of different wires.

Yeah, those nanobots tasted great. Now I should watch the missile start from a safe distance.

Rolls away.

Ignore me, we've never met before, or may never shall.

Here's what to do, in five mintents, I will transport y'all to Earth. Ubermensch, If the histroical records are correct, I mean, according to your comic book, redirecting missles is a speciality of yours. Get ready.
(Uses Telepathy)

(Josh, Josh. you need to cut the red 1/4 inch wire that connects the computer to the Nanite chamber. This will prevent their awakening. Then you need to lock the missle in.)

Do not copy anything. Both the Taconator and O'kak backup programs are on file and will remain hidden on the mainframe. While 64 century technolgy will help earth, It's too dangerous. A device called the extrapolator can figure out the tech, from one scanner printout. As for the ship...

(Donna's eyes turn bright green. The ship starts to shake and fall apart. She is using telekenis to destory the whole thing.)

Once we get back to the Spider, send a general message across Earth... Taconator is no more.

Yeah, and no less, too! ;)

Maybe we can see what's with the Lord of the Hamburgers now.

Author's note: Than Q!


Suddenly a message comes over the comm-system of the spidership. It is the Lord of the Hamburgers

There's been an attack on Servavius Prime by the WK! I need LICC to meet me there as soon as possible before the whole colony is destroyed!

PD Insane enters the bridge.

Well, since I'm at Tactical II, Milkshake, you can take ops.

Good! I've missed Ops. What's this, under the console?

Milkshake pulls out a heavily armored cannister. He tries to open the locks, gives up and just blasts it open with his gamma-gun. The cannister cracks open, and a silvery fluid pours out. The fluid puddles on the floor, shimmers and morphs into Colanator!

Thank you. It was very uncomfortable in there. Now, I will go back to Engineering.

Colanator morphs back into the floor, and Milkshake, chuckling, turns toward the viewscreen. What he sees wipes the grin off of his face. A huge mechanized tank, with the head and arms of O'kak, rolling across the floor of the Spidermobile's hangar, aiming a massive turret at the Spider's bridge.

Milkshake groans just as the turret flashes.

The next few minutes are hazy, but Milkshake wakes to find his helmet knocked askew, a terrible bump on his cranium, and a buzzing in his head. He shakily stands up, to find the bridge in serious condition, with heroes and chairs scattered across the scorched room. The viewscreen still displays the huge O'kak tank, and that seems strange until he sees that there is no viewscreen. The huge O'kak head laughs, and raises its cannon again. The buzzing in Milkshake's head grows stronger, and he begins to feel VERY strange. In a fury, he screams at the O'kak tank.

GO AWAY!

And with that, it disappears. No sound, no visual evidence that it even existed. Milkshake's eyes roll up into his head and he faints.

[Author's note: Interesting way of getting rid of Taconator, Webber. I was going to have RR seal Taconator in a sphere of solid light, then dump it in the deepest part of the ocean! So...Kiehart is basically a cross between Neo from the Matrix, The Gundslinger from the Black Tower novels, and Bruce Willis' character from Unbreakable?]

Sort of. here's the list.

He dresses like Neo, and also carries similar armarment, but he can't do any of the cool dodging and flying stuff Neo could do by the end of the movie, but that OK cause,
He is Invulnerable like Bruce Willis in Unbreakable, with only one weakness; {reference to pre-established removed}
He was going to be like Roland in The Gunlsinger, but after Taocnator destroyed his old costume and guns he changed his mind. He can still aim like Roland though (by aim I mean whip out the guns and fire dead on target while appearing to not aim at all).
But sadly, although he is no longer a Redshirt, he has a Redshirt's luck (how else do you explain getting sucked into space TWICE?).

-

Kiehart approaches Tacoman. "Um, sir, I don't mena to sound selfish, but since I DID help quite a bit in the battle, I was hoping for a field promotion. Cause I'm still an Ensign you see."

(Hail)
Good Job LICC, I shall stay on Earth, in Germany. Good luck.

The Air of the bridge of the spidership fills with the smell of sulfur.

A pentagram appears on the floor.

A Red figure with horns and a pitchfork appears and speaks as the spidership fills with fire. Cascerot appears

All kneel prostrate

ALL SHALL BOW TO ME!
I AM JOHN BRYNE,
THE MOST HATED MAN IN COMIC BOOKS.
I HAVE BEEN INFORMED OF A SMALL CONTINUITY GLITCH, SO DRASTIC ACTION IS NEEDED.
ADONNA BRUGHER, YOU SHALL NEVER HAVE EXISTED.
ALL THAT WAS DONE BY YOU
WAS DONE BY OTHER MEANS. I SHALL ERASE YOU AND INSURE EVERYTHING MIGHT STILL WORK. IT HAS BEEN COMMANDED

Bryne walks over and kicks Adon just right. Donna disappears, and Adon is given a pain medicine.

COMMIT THIS GRAVE SIN AGAIN, AND I SHALL REBOOT YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA!

Rocket Ranger probably deserves a promotion, too. However, for my own reasons, I don't want him to get one! I don't remember where I said it, maybe in an e-mail to JD, maybe in a post somehwhere, but for all intents and purposes, Rocket Ranger is the equivalent of a Chief Warrant Officer. (Besides, he's still a Space Marshal...too much paperwork to fill out)
Give the promotion to Jadlad; I think he wants one, and its probably time for him to get one, anyway. I've also decided not to write Rocket Ranger out of the LotH storyline. I told JD and some others in Pestichat that I was going to, because I would be writing several characters during the storyline, and wanted to send RR away temporarily so I'd have one less character to write; instead, I'm going to use LotH's crew as little as possible.

(Boy, I used a lot of `I''s, didn't I?)

Tacoman glances at Kiehart
Hmm... perhaps you're right...
Jason Kiehart, former redshirt and current Wanderer, I hearby promote you to the rank of Lieutenant.
So did the encounter with the O'kak tank really happen, or was that just in Milkshake's head?

Meanwhile, at Servavius Prime, several dozen white and navy blue ships are attacking the planet. The Condimental, and several other ships from different worlds in the same solar system, are trying to defend the planet, but to little or no avail; the colony is all but destroyed.

LotH, on board the Condimental: It's no use! Even if the spidership arrived here now, there's no hope for the people still on the planet. The WK will pay for this....and pay in blood!

Blotzus: Should I call the spidership again?

LotH: Yes. Tell them not to bother coming. The planet will be long-dead by the time they arrive. Tell them to rendevous with us at Rigel IV.

Kiehart salutes Tacoman.

"Thank you sir!"

Kiehart begins fiddling with the ring stuck to his hand. "I hope I did the right thing with that bag. I forgot to ask Elminster what I should do once I had Taconator in that bag."

Hmm. I'd write a Story of Kiehart, like Jason wrote the Story of Adon, but it would awfully short wouldn't it? Kiehart was an instant redshirt that through some fluke became an invulnerable Wanderer. There. End of story!

The turbolift opens and Adon walks onto the bridge.

Well, that was an unexpected twist. I got my suit into the hanger, where it is being repaired. I also had to make a quick trip to Wisconsin to return my "guests." If you need me, I will be wandering around the new ship.

A beeping sound emerges from the comm panel and the LotH's first message comes through
Ops, would Earth resistance be able to defeat the rest of the O'kaks remaining on Earth?
Tacoman looks over and sees Milkshake passed out in his chair
Tacoman to sickbay, transport Milkshake down there right now!
Milkshake is transported to sickbay

Kiehart: Sir, if you want I could stay behind to help the resistance while you go help LotH.

Well since I'm Unranked Personnel I can't get a field promotion. But, I would like to have a Field Commission please. If that's okay with you Captain.

I know I saw the tank, Captain. I'm at a loss to explain this. Perhaps I should call Colanator to repair the bridge before we leave the atmosphere.