This is Dan Rather the 47th, reporting from SupCon CMXLIX, on Devio III.
Apparently pandemonium has broken out at this otherwise peaceful Supervillain Convention when some Superheroes stopped by for a visit.
As if the damage & destruction wasn't enough, we have lines of supervillains just waiting for their chances at the superheroes.

Let's talk to a few of them.

Evil Comic Fan: It's just like those gatecrashing superheroes to show up unannouced & spoil all of our evil plotting.

Vinnie Von Venus: It's dis way alla da time. Us liddle villains nevah get foist crack at da good guys.

Ensign Pinky: Narf. poit! Is that Tacoman?

Ensign Brain: Turn that camera off! Come Pinky, back into the time machine before we're spotted.

G.R. Inch: Just like heroes to ruin my Christmas shopping.

Soyburgermonster: We don't know these heroes and we have our own dimension to conquer.

Tofu Boy: Soy-tainly.

Soyburgermonster: Come along, Yzus.

Soyburger Patricia: I don't use that name anymore, and I've been invited to join the King's Interstellar Lethal Legionnaires.

Lucifer S. Beelzebub: Danny boy, how's life as the top rated newscaster treating you?

We'll bring you more updates as we have them. We now return you to Who Wants To Destroy Their Enemies already in progress.

Butrfli sets down the body of Radagast and both she and Tacoman look down at it
Tacoman: I wonder if he'll disappear like the rest of them?
Butrfli: I have no idea
Artsy, about your question about medical facilities, we have a pretty good sickbay on the Spidership.
I still don't understand why they sang to us as they left, though... maybe we were worthy adversaries or something...
Come on people, let's get out of here.
Tacoman heads for the exit and slips on a banana peel, right into a large mound of pie remains

FL Insane is surrounded by a transporter beam. When the transportation process is over, he finds himself in a dark room, a sort of cross between a borg ship and a laboratory. Several technological implements line the walls, and, instead of humans wandering around, are some strange, tall creatures, like intelligent, genetically altered frankfurters on legs. Some have arms, but most don't. The leader sits in his chamber.

"Ah, so this is the new member I have heard so much about. I am Frank, leader of the force you know as the Frank Conspiracy."

Another steps forward.

"This is the scientist who first developed the genetic techniques which first created us. He only goes by Frank2 now."

Frank2 then speaks. "I think we should focus on the LICC. They are aware of our presence, and should not spread the fact that we are more than a rumor around the galaxy."

"Good idea. Have the division currently assigned to the Villain Convention concentrate their efforts on the League of Intergalactic Cosmic Champions," Frank replies.

FL Insane speaks for the first time "Sir, I think you should consider admitting them into the Frank Conspiracy, not destroying them. Send them clothes like you sent me, and they will realise our way is the best."

The Frank leader speaks up. "Yes. Good idea. The plan shall be altered. These clothes shall be beamed onto them. If they are given them as a choice, they will not take them. They will remember what happened to their former comrade. Frank2, follow."

"Yes, sir."

AREN'T YOU GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT MY LITTLE SISTER?!? SHE'S DYING! LET'S GO BACK TO THE SPIDERSHIP!

Tammy draws a deep breath and the others look worried that she might start to yell again, but she only looks angrily at them

Milkshake to Spidermobile. Lock on to my tricorder readings, one to beam directly to Sickbay, emergency situation!

Milkshake is crouched over Ansh's still form, his gauntlet tricorder aimed at the young heroine. She shimmers and disappears.

"EMH to Commander Milkshake. I have stabilized Ansh's lifesigns. It appears that she will pull through, but I cannot fully determine the extent of the damage. I will update you on her status."

Thanks, Doc. Captain, may I suggest a few days of vacation?

Milkshake looks around at the ruining convention center.

I think we've earned it.

a few hours later Ansh wakes up in sickbay, Tammy leaning over her

Ansh: Wha..What happened?

Tammy: You got hit by FL Insane. I was kidnaped by him, got rescued by Observer, Who later turned into a sorceror, and back, you were being taken out by Butrfli when the celing colapsed and Those Cute furry furbys...

Ansh shudders

Tammy: rescued you, and then Milkshake beamed you up. That was all hours ago, though.

Then, a Sith-black Frank uniform with a backwards "47" on it appears on each and every member of the Spidership crew! They must act quickly or... they will become Franks like PD Insane!

Kiehart disposes of them quickly. He whips out his gun and fires continuously, dropping most of the Franks. Tacoman realizes that he fired more bullets than the gun was supposed to have. Then he remembers the alien device.

Kiehart... it wasn't Franks, it was Frank uniforms appearing on the crew.

Milkshake inspects the bullet-hole in his armor's chestplate.

Thanks, Kiehart, I really needed that. Now why don't you go see if the other heroes you shot are all right?

Read the header to this post.

"What the, I thought, where, who, when, huh?" Kiehart scratches his head. He could've sworn the crew was attacked by Franks. He looks at his gun. It appaeras to work fine. Then he checks the alein device attached to it. "Whew, talk about luck. I set it to paintball mode for some reason. Must've been by accident. He walks overs to Milkshake, and wipes the red spatter off his armor. "I'm TRULY sorry about that guys." Then Kiehart realizes something odd. A uniform didn't appear on him. "OK, something seriously meesed up is going on here."

Rocket Ranger, who is in his quarters, uses his powers to obliterate the clothing....

I can't believe that moron destroyed my clothes! I don't even have another space marshal's uniform with me! Hmmmm.....what am I going to wear now? (He thinks for a minute, then looks ecstatic and snaps his fingers.) That's it! Why didn't I think of it before?! I'll incorporate it into my new outfit. But, I think I'll stay away from black clothing, this time....

Ok, I need to get out of this outfit NOW. Eject!

Milkshake crouches down, and his armor beeps several times. Suddenly, he seems to explode! His cyberarmor fragments in several directions, and Milkshake rockets up into the air. He soars through a huge rift in the ceiling, slows, then falls back down to the ground. He's now wearing the normal clothing he usually wears under his armor, but with small boosters attached to his sneakers. His boosters soften his landing.

Captain, you should probably do the same, or risk being Franksimilated!

Kiehart tweaks with the alien device attached to hsi weapon. "Aw dammit! It's stuck on Paintball. What am I supposed to do if we're attacked again?" He re-clips the weapon to his belt, then sits on a near by bench, fuming with anger. "This has not been a good day."

A lavender nimbus surrounds QM and he's somewhere else. The Frank Shirt flutters to the deck.

Arsty, contemplating the ruined hall with a gleam in her grey eyes, answers Milkshake's comment about taking a vacation rather abstractedly. "Maybe you'll have better luck with that on another planet." Then she notices the Frank shirts on the crew. Aside from Kiehart she is the only one present not wearing one (Furbies and all). "Who designed those nightmares, and where did they come from? Captain? Sir...?"

Kiehart's sense of danger kicked in, and before he even realized he was doing, he was leaping from crewmember to crewmember pulling off the Frankshirts and stuffing them into a near by disposal. "Why did I do that? Why did my danger snese kick in? Their just ugly shirts. Maybe my destiny is to be a fashion cop?"

Frank Lee Insane, you know the vulnerable spots of the Spidership best. You will lead the assault team in a scout ship.

Kiehart gets up from the bench and straightens his coat. "Well, I don't exactly know what it is, but I get the feeling that this Frnakspiracy is serious trouble. I'll trnasfer to my fighter. I've got a feeling the Franks are about to take the offensive." As soon as he's back on the planet, he climbs into the cockpit of the Banshee. "Power up the engines Banshee, and get those pulse tachyon cannons ready. Are the new sensors working properly?" "Yessir." The fighter's monotone vocice replies. "Good. Any incomign ships?" "I detect a small vessel on course for the Spidership. It appears to be a troop tranposrt of some kind. Perhaps a scout vessel. It's still too far away to be certain." Kiehart sighs. "Plot us an intercept course. Give me a firing soltuion for it's engine. I want to disable it, not destroy it."

"I detect a small fighter leaving the Spidership, one human life-form aboard."

Insane thinks to himself... The SnowCrane, or the other ship, whatever it was going to be called... Kiehart was more than human, perhaps that could be determined on the scanners?

"Is the life-form standard human, or... more?"

"It does not read exactly as a human, its bio-signiature is the same, but, somehow... it seems more stable than any ever read!"

"Kiehart. Frank Moody, lock a tractor beam on it and bring it aboard..."

Kiehart's fighter's enhanced sensors detect the tractor beam powering up. He begins evasive action to avoid the beam. "Please tell me you have that firing solution!" The panel in front of him blinks. "Firing soltuon confimred. Bring ship about 18 dgeres starboard. Fire one tahcyon cannon when the weapon active light turns green, then swerve to avoid debris from damaged engine." "Excellent work Banshee." Kiehart performs the manuever with ease, disabling the enemy craft's engines.

Author's Note: I have no clue where most of the characters are right now, so if they're back on the Spidership, consider that this took place before everyone beamed back...

Artsy approaches one of the torn Frank shirts that Kiehart ripped off a crew member and gingerly reaches out to pick it up. "Ouch!" A flash of light seems to come from her right hand, and she drops the shirt as if shocked.

Then she shrugs, looking at Tacoman. "Well, I can use everything else, I guess. Your Sorcerer did a great repair job, so I just get to have fun. If you guys aren't going to leave right away, just be careful not to get in my way, okay? I'll try not to hurt anyone."

That abstracted look has come back into her eyes. She turns her face to the celing, rubbing her hands in anticipation, and then moves so quickly that no one can catch more than a glimpse of her for the next 5 minutes. They can see the effects of her power, however. The remaining cracks in the celing turn golden and become the focal lines of a cubic design that runs down the walls. There it becomes more ordered, and several crew members shake their heads, thinking that some design or other resembles them.

When Artsy finally comes to rest in the center of the hall, clutching her satchel in both arms, ecstatic joy in her creation lighting up her face, the convention center has been transformed into something out of an art catalog. In each corner is a sculpture mirroring the wall designs, and a closer look reveals that they are made of the debris from the ruined booths and the remains of the skeletons and various other left-over items (except for the Frank shirts).

"What do you think?" she asks.

A voice comes from a communicator pin on her satchel. "Artsy-Fartsy, report to the office. That job was not exactly what we had in mind."

Artsy pulls the pin off and flings it at the celing, where it sticks. "•••••• boss doesn't know art when she sees it. I hate this job."

She gestures to the Frank shirts. "What are you going to do with those, Captain?"

Captain, inlight of my recent transformation, I would like to be able to Attempt to defrank LT Insane. I don't know how this will last though.

Rikard deactivates his lightsaber after the trigger happy Kiehart tries to shoot everyone. He rips the shirt off and watches as Artsy made the convention center into a work of art. Several minutes pass.

So, should we get back to the Spidership, Captain? See how Ansh is doing, and what in the world Kiehart is doing?

I agree. We should get going before anything else happens.

By the way, wasn't this supposed to be our vacation?

Captain, I have bad news. We've been rescheduled. See my earlier post.

Tacoman exits from the bathroom after cleaning himself up. He leaves the Frank shirt behind
I have no idea what to do with the shirts.
Inspector, try to Defrank Insane.
Blueshirt, that's not good to hear.
As for vacation, I have no idea what to do.
I'm going to my quarters for some well deserved sleep.

Those Franks are incompetent. They sent me an XXL shirt! Can you imagine this???

I know what you are talking about, brother. I'm still buried under mine...

Lt. Jadlad rips off the too small shirt.

It's not even my size.

A communications call comes through to the bridge of the Spidership. Artsy's frustrated voice is heard over the comm. "I just quit my job here. My superiors have no sense of taste. Is there any chance I could hitch a ride on your ship to the nearest port? I could work off my passage...."

The Communications Blueshirt routes the message to the highest ranking officer currently on duty....

Somewhere out in space, the giant crystal drifts slowly....

(Suddenly a blueshirt sees a woman in a blackshirt)
Don't worry, I'll save you.

(He rips off her shirt only to discover it wasn't a Frankshirt)
Woman: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! You pervert!

No miss, I thought you were a Frank... OW! I'm sorry! Stop hitting me with your purse. OW!
(The Blueshirt runs away being chased, & hit, by the woman, while, inexplicably, Yakkity Sax plays over the speakers)

The Frank ship approaches the Spidermobile, and hails it. Tacoman orders onscreen, and on the screen appears... Frank Lee Insane!

"We are the Franks. Resistance is futile. From this point on, you will service us."

Ops, fire the anti-Frank weapons at the Frank Ship! Beam Insane to sickbay and don't let him have access to ANY ship system, especially the Doctor.
Arsty, you're welcome to join us. Come aboard and join the fun.

FL Insane disappears from the bridge of the Frank ship, and Frank Lloyd Wrong immediately takes over.

All right, League of Intergalactic Cosmic Champions, two can play at your little transportation game! Frank Webber, beam a contingent of Frank operatives aboard. A better assimalation guild than that one we assimalated ourselves.

Down in sickbay, Insane appears inside a forcefield. By now, Butfli has gotten the Frank shirts off those in sickbay. She looks over and says:
Doctor, it's Insane!
Meanwhile, on the bridge, several Franks appear
Tacoman: Invade my bridge, will you?
Tacoman pulls out his special weapon and fires at the Franks. A large plasticine taco shell ejects from the weapon and hits the Franks, covering them
Tacoman to the ship, we're going to have some Franks for company pretty soon. Better get prepared to fight.

The Crimson Crossbow walks over to Tacoman...

I don't suppose you know where we can get our hands on some Talking Bombs, do you? I'd just love to see how they would react to a bunch of those appearing on their bridge!

Rocket Ranger comes in over the comm....

Sorry, Crimson. I've been listening to what's going on here in my quarters, and I'm afraid I don't carry any of those. You could always go look in the armory, I suppose.... (He pauses) I'm afraid I'm staying in my quarters until I finish something. I didn't bring a spare Space Marshal's uniform with me when I came onboard, and I refuse to be seen in that `outfit' I made out of light! (He pauses) There's something in my lab that might be of use, if you really need it, Captain. In the meantime, could you please have someone bring me something from the galley to eat? I really don't care whay, but as for the dessert....I've got a sudden craving for green vanilla pudding!

{A bomb materializes on the Spidership's bridge. However, the viewscreen also shows one on the Frank Ship's bridge...}

Hi! I'm a 30 second bomb!
Hi! I'm a 29 second bomb!

We should get a replicator into his lab

Rikard phasers a two franks. A third fires at him as he jumps behind his console. The beam hits a poor redshirt trying to help out. The redshirt is turned into a little hot dog.

Crimson Crossbow grabs the Talking Bomb on the spidership's bridge, runs to a hallway, and throws the T.B. down a garbage hatch, ejecting the T.B. into space. She then wipes her forehead.

*Whew!* That was close!

Arsty appears in a transporter room. She is amazed by the cool, clean-cut lines of the Spidership's interior. However, when she turns to ask the transporter operator which way the bridge is, the unfortunately nervous redshirt bumps a control and beams himself onto the Frank ship.

After standing puzzled for a moment, Artsy heads into the corridor, where she hears communications broadcasts about the battle with the Franks and attempts to find her way quickly to the bridge.

Adon, could we reinforce my tri-reme ramship with wanderer-style armor like you reinforced your fighter? It might be useful for if we need to strike the Frank command base. We might need to seek out their *chuckles* Achilles heel.

Hey wait a minute! Kiehart disabled that ship remember? And Artsy, he threw all those shirts into the disposal unit.

Kiehart's fighter tows the disabled enemy ship towards the Spidership, anxious to turn them over to Adon for questioning. Then the ship sends their call for surrender to the Spidership. "Man what a buncha losers. Can't accept when they're beaten. Kiehart to Spiderhsip. I got a nice present for you. A disabled Frnakspiracy scout vessel, crew intact, and ripe for questioning."

{meanwhile the Inspector goes to sickbay to defrank LT Insane.) there you are LT You have been thru a lot these past few days, I'm here to help you. Do not let The Franks beat you like this remember your jedi trainng You becoming their minion goes against everything the jedi stand for. I have heard you speak {off-screen) of your reverance for all thine great Jedi masters. Do not let them down like this. Don't let the franks get away with it. (suddenly, the Inspector sees a glint of understanding in his teammate's eyes} That's it, LT, fight your way back.

Author's Note: well, Kiehart apparently didn't get everyone's shirt into the disposal, see multiple posts after that one!

Uh, no. Didn't you read the psot where "Kieghart tears the uniforms off of all the crew members then sutff them into the disposal unit? I guess the others didn't either.

Kiehart climbs back into his fighter. The Frank warships had arived, doubtless upset over the capture of their scout vessel. "Kiehart to bridge. Permission to launch." He waits for permission to take Banshee back out into space. "First O'Kak and Taconator, then the WKs, then that ridiculous civil war I got dragged into, the thing with the portal, the supervillain convention, and now this! I'll never get any rest!"

meanwhile, in another time and place a meeting is taking place that will affect The LICC in the near future First Figure: Do you really think this idea will work? what if He finds out? 2ndfigure: I say let him. after all these years We finally have a way to beat him, and we have the legendary LICC to thank for it. and when this works I will be able to actully meet them now please get my ship ready.

A redshirt walks up to Tacoman on the bridge. "Sorry to interupt sir, but you said you wanted to know immediately whenever the Archangel sent an update? I didn't mean to read it sir, but the reports starts with something about the ship crashing on ice planet." The redshirt then spontaneously combusts, runs around screeching in pain, then falls down an open turbolift shaft.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Suddenly, Two Guys Named Reg appear on the bridge. They are nondescript, not very threatening, and wearing the name "Reg" in very large letters on their sweatshirts.

Captain, may we offer our assistance in this matter? We are a covert operative force, dedicated to ending the threat the Frank Conspiracy poses to the universe.

We understand you have a Franksimilated crewmember. We have specialized equipment to treat and cure Franksimilation.

Hi Reg and Reg. Yeah, he's in our sickbay at the moment.
Tacoman fires his phaser at a trio of Franks that exit from the Ready Room. He hears the turbolift open and turns around. Artsy emerges from it.
Greetings, Artsy. Welcome to the bridge.
Meanwhile, in sickbay, Butrfli is fighting off a number of Franks who are attempting to recapture Insane
Get back! Get back!
Butrfli throws a fireball at one of the Franks, cooking it well done. She then throws her staff at the Frank, which goes right through
Hmm.. Frank on a stick... anybody hungry?

We are.

Two Guys Named Reg walk into sickbay, where Butrfli has just shish-kebabed one Frank, and several more are closing in on her. Two Guys Named Reg reach into their trouser pockets, and pull out small gun-shaped objects. They smoothly go through the room, fearlessly avoiding the attacks of the Franks and pressing their gun-devices to them. When they press the "barrel" of their device to a Frank, a small label appears on that Frank. The labels have random first names on them, "Quentin", "Phil", or "Ted", etc. The Franks frantically try to pry or blast the labels off, but without success. A few moments after Two Guys Named Reg finish labelling the Franks, they lose their Frankspiracy abilities and vanish, since they are now no longer named Frank.

Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist: Its a conspiracy, I tell ya! A conspiracy!

Just then a guy in a black t-shirt with a reverse #47 on it walks over and smiles...

Frank Lyn Mynt: Yep. {He assimilates PCT!}

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To celebrate this, we have decided to present a special Meal of the Month deal from now until the end of the year! This month, try our new Squid and Salami Souffle, with a side order of our new Bacon, Grape, and Guacamole Finger-fries!

As always, our Rocky Mountain Oyster Platter is still just $9.95 (or $6.95 for the kid's portion)!!

Chish & Fips....we put the `Yu' in `Yum'!!

Kiehart comes out of his fighter, proud of the job he did. The entire Frank fleet is drifting helpless in space now. He only regretted he couldn't stop them from getting a distress signal off. He tunrs away from hsi fighter, to find himself being confronted by three Franks. He checks his gun. Still stuck on paintball. "Well," he mutters to himself, "they're not lethal, but a well placed one will hurt like a sonuvabitch." He whips out the gun and shoots for the faces. All three Frnaks drop to the floor, grabbing their faces in pain. As Kiehart runs, he sees that one's eyes are swollen shut with a massive bruise, not to mentuon the fact that the paint has to sting.

(The Observer slowly opens his eyes, and blinks several times. His vision swims back into focus, and he sees that he is lying on a biobed in sickbay, which has recently been cleared of Franks. The EMH and Butrfli come over to check on him.)

I am fine, really. I was...meditating. Perhaps I should head up to the bridge.

(The EMH tries to prevent him, but Observer quickly assures the hologram of his health and walks out of sickbay, stopping to pick up his cloak along the way. Pulling it on, he walks into the turbolift, heading for the bridge.)

Rikard sees a blinking light and looks at the viewscreen. Five Frank ships have dropped out of warp and are surrounding the Spidership with its shields down.

Now, where did they come from?

Kiehart steps onto the bridge, sees the fleet, and throws his hands up in the air. "Not again! That's it. Screw you guys. I'm going to bed."

Artsy, feeling somewhat out of place on this technological ship, stands quietly out of the way awaiting developments. She fiddles with a nearly-invisible ring on the first finger of her right hand.

"Captain, the Franks have something that is preventing us from raising our shields!"
Lt. Rikard's warning comes barely in time, and the bridge crew (including poor overworked Kiehart) braces themselves for action as the bridge fills with the shimmer of transporter beams....

Inspector... my Jedi masters are all in a computer program! Only holograms!

Holodoc: I wouldn't put it quite like that, thank... His program fades, and when he returns, he is garbed in a Frank outfit.

Inspector, it's no use! If the Franks are everywhere, it's pointless to resist them. It's only making things worse!

Your knowledge on the Franks can help us... it won't so pointless to resiste them now!

But Inspector... *He waits, breathing deeply, for a short while* ... yes! I will join the LICC! The jedi beleive in fighting for what is right, not for what is the majority! I read about their adventures in a galaxy far, far away, the one which George Lucas made the films about. The few Jedi left opposed the might of the Empire, and by focusing themselves on the force-powered leaders, they managed to defeat them! I'm out of here!

Frankdoc: Not so fast, Frank Lee Insane.

My name is Peter Dionysus Insane, Jedi-in-training, Tactical officer of the LICC!

The Frank-doc has one of those semi-circular scanner things erect itself around Insane, trapping him. But sparks appear around the connections between in and the biobed,a nd the contraption lifts itself off him and rams into a Frank!

Computer, deactivate EMH, authorisation - Frank - Insane - 8672.

Computer: There is no program running with that name.

Then... Delete EFMH! And lock program to my old authorization code!

Affirmative.

Inspector, let's get Rikard!

(Suddenly a group of Franks burst into Zen Forward, the Spidermobile's juice bar)

Franks: You will be Franksimilated.

(The Juiceman walks over with a tray of drinks)

Certainly. Let's have a drink to celebrate.

Franks: Of course. Franks up.

(They all drink, but the Franks react as if they were slammed against a brick wall)

(The Juiceman licks his lips and says)

Yummy. Liquid brick wall. Thanks to the power of juicing!

(Neelix, wearing a referee's shirt, walks up to a group of Yellowshirts & Frankshirts)

Alright, let's have a good clean fight here.

(The two groups team up to beat the snot out of Neelix)

We relish fighting Franks.

Where are all these Franks coming from? Ops, fire the polymorph gun at the Frank ships!
Down in sickbay, Butrfli watch as Inspector Mystery and Insane exit
Go get 'em guys!
Butrfli watches in horror as a new group of Franks enter the room. She stands in a fighting position, ready to take on the newcomers
Butrfli to the Bridge, I could use a little help down here in sickbay!
Butrfli looks over and notes that the two guys named Reg are still in sickbay
Come on, let's kick some sausauge rear end!

Well, you see when a mommy Frank & a daddy Frank get certain urges...

A group of several Franks are on the bridge, attacking. They get the drop on Tacoman and the others....

You will be Franksimilated....or destroyed!

They move in to attack, when suddenly there is an explosion of concussive force that knocked the Franks unconscious.Everyone looks back to see the Crimson Crossbow, smiling and reloading her weapon.

Concussion-Bomb-Bolt. I just loaded something a little more lethal, just in case.

I have an idea. We could make it look like I've captured the ship! I still have my Frank-shirt on.

I'm still going to need a little more time before I'm ready to leave my quarters, but there is still something I can do to help. (He pauses) This'll give them the cold shoulder...and neck...and head...and...

A trio of Franks are walking down a hallway, searching, when suddenly three portals open above their heads. Liquified Nitrogen drops through each portal, freezing their heads solid and killing them. The portals close instantaneously.

How would we do that, Insane? Put if you want the Captain's chair for that, it's all yours. I just hope this isn't a trick.

Lie around the floor.

PD Insane climbs into the captain's chair. A communications officer hails the Frank ship.

This is Frank Lee Insane. We have captured the ship and met no resistance. We shall head to Earth to begin work there. You need not take part, it would look too obvious. A stealth operation is what we need.

But, before the Frank ships leave, several reinforcements are beamed onto the Spidermobile, many on each deck. When they see the trick the League played on them, they will do bad things! And what if the League thinks this was all part of Insane's plan?!!! (Which it wasn't)

Frank K: (picks up weapon, and alarms go off.) O-Kay, I'd better stop that...

Frank D: You'd better! You shouldn't have been brought along!

Frank K: But it doesn't MATTER, since they KNOW we're doing this sort of thing ANYWAY!

Frank D: (chuckle) Good point!

Frank R: let's assimilate some caffeine!

Frank D: Yeah!

... Mr. Coffee decides to explode.

Oh look, three drowned Franks! How the heck did this happen?

Several Franks are walking around the observation deck, looking for people to Franksimilate, when suddenly three portals open in the air behind them. Something drops through each portal, which then closes. The Franks turn around and have a look of horror on their faces. Right before the stun gas cannisters explode!

Kiehart walks to his quarters, deftly avoiding Frnaks when he can, slashing him when his sword when he can't. After a while he give up trying to get to his quarters, and swings back around and walks back the way he came, cleaning up the remaining Frnaks. But everytime he kills one, 2 more seem to pop up in their place. Soon dozens begin swarming Kiehart, trying to turn intoa Frank, but he refuses to give in, slashing and punching and kicking. A roundhouse kick from a Frnak knocks him into a wall. In a flash of anger Kiehart rushes him, sword first. The sword goes in, all the way up to the hilt, when a flashing light catches Kiehart's attantion he looks down. When he hit the wall, the alien device attached to his gun hit the wall too, and the setting had changed. the small readout indicated that it was know set on Explosive Rounds. He smiles, removes his sword from the Frank and sheathes it. The other Franks stop rushing him, looking confused. He whips out the gun, and smiles. "Time to pl;ay Count The Shells ••••-a-ducks!" He opnes fire, spraying explodinbg bullets into the crowd of Franks.

LT. Insane, I have noticed that the Franks seem to operate with a hive-like mentality. what if we were to fire a rotating energy burst of 47.5 centimals to disrupt it. {suddenly two Franks rush the Inspector, and with his new found height and strengh bangs their heads together knocking them out.) now thats really using your heads.

I had some telepathic skills when I became a Frank, I think they were using them to help make me one of them. It wasn't much, but I'm sure it would have developed as time went on. I also have the coordinates of the Frank command base, in case we need to know where it is. Anyway, I think I'll hide myself. We don't want anyone to hear that I am not longer a Frank.

Insane, perhaps for the duration, we should put you in suspended animation or something...
Suddenly, the turbolift opens and several Franks exit. The heroic crew turns to fight, and...

...Two Guys Named Reg appear out of thin air, and label them senseless. That done, Two Guys Named Reg turn to Captain Tacoman.

Captain, we are running out of labels. Have you discovered a means to separate the Franks from the Collective?

The turbolift opens and Adon steps out.

Sorry about missing most of the action. I was stuck on deck 147. But this ship doesn't have a deck 147. That's just weird.

I just thought of something....(he pauses) I have a sneaking suspicion. Captain, I recommend that you send fully armed security details to decks, 4, 7, 11, and 47 immediately! One member of the team should accompany them to each floor!

I didn't know we had 47 decks!

Trips, and accidentally falls into a Franksimilation shirt... He is now Redshirt Frank

Security to decks 4, 7, 11, and 47!
Steve, go with them.
Tacoman to the crew, when you fire at the Franks, shoot at them using a rotating energy burst of 47.5 centimals. It should break their Frankness.... Or at least, that what's Inspector Mystery says...
Tacoman sets his phaser rifle to that setting and fires at a number of Franks Let's just hope this works.

Artsy, who had been busy for the last few minutes trying to follow what was going on, keep out of the way of various Franks and weapon-firing superheros, and adjusting her artistic senses to this fast-paced style, hops into the turbolift after the latest batch of Franks has been defeated. She is the only one to remember that Butrfli may still need help in Sickbay, since the Two Guys named Reg are now on the bridge.

Also, something about the Franks are strangely disturbing to her. As she runs through the corridors she tries to place the feeling, only to have it explode in a spike of panic as she rounds a corner near Sickbay and is confronted by a large group of Franks! She's never tried live art on this scale before, but the conviction that something terrible awaits her if she fails braces her for a desperate attempt....

Suddenly a tiny little ship flies up to the Spidermobile and two little, genetically engineered rats materialize on the bridge

Alli McSqueel: We are the Knarfs of the planet Poyt. We have been genetically engineered to fight the Franks & offer our assistance.

Peri Raison: Yes. Hundreds of years ago our ancestors were ground up and used in frankfurters and we've hated the Franks ever since.

Alli: Our ship is currently broadcasting an interference signal at the frequency of the Franks' telepathic link.

Peri: It should disrupt their ability to work together. Also the Knarf fleet is heading this way.

Frank C-Ko: Isn't this a lovely ship? I wonder if the crew will choose to be Franks if I make them something to eat?

Frank B-Ko: Why are we working together? I want Frank C-Ko for myself! Fires wrist missiles at Frank A-Ko, knocking her through a wall

Frank A-Ko: I've had enough of this! Punches Frank B-Ko through another wall

A redshirt is walking down a corridor, carrying a tray of food, when a Frank appears behind him from a side hallway. One of the heroes (don't care which one) sees this, and fires his weapon. However, the Frank grabs the redshirt and tries to use him as a shield, causing the redshirt to spill his food. Fortunately, the redshirt manages to deflect the beam with his tray, and the beam bounces around the hallway, finally going between his and the Frank's legs and bankshotting off of a wall & hitting the Frank in the back, knocking him out! The redshirt looks down at the stunned Frank.

Whoa! Unbelievable!

Inspector, what if we were to beam red shirts onto the Franks? Would they suffer the same fates as the regular redshirts?
Ops, broadcast the interference signal over the Comm system!
Meanwhile down in sickbay, Butrfli is still battling Franks. She and the Doctor have managed to down a number of Franks and have Defranked others.

An audio distress call reaches the Spidermobile. It is put on the speakers.

"This is Captain Konstantinoveroverovich of the S. S. Cincinatti. We're under attack from three black ships. Several strange people dressed like goths have beamed aboard. Repeat, this is Captain Konstan..." The message ends in static.

I am Redshirt of Frank. You will be Franksimilated. Frankly, Resistance is futile.

An exploding plasma conduit silences him. His ashes form a big "F".

Kiehart gets an idea in the middle of his fight, but the idea disappears quickly. "Jesus! Where are all these Franks coming from? Just as suddenly, the last Frank falls at Kiehart's feet. "Scratch that." he walks over to a computer outlet and checks the status of the ship. still 47 Franks left aboard, most of them concentrated near sickbay. "Hmm. There's an airlock near sickbay. I wonder." He rubs his chin, then hails the bridge. "Kiehart to bridge. I have a plan. Just herd all the Franks left on the ship to the section right next to sickbay, wall it off, then blow the airlock seal. We can get rid of the rest of the boaridng party in one shot!"

Adon was battling groups of Franks near sickbay.

Kiehart, I would recommend against opening the airlock. I would get blown out along with the Franks.

The only thing visible to the ordinary eye in the corridor outside sickbay would have been a group of Franks looking as bewildered as possible for members of a hive mind, and a blur that kept changing color as it rapidly moved between and around them. When Artsy finally came to a stop, all the Franks were glued in a tight conic pyramid, striped in gold and blue, totally unable to move except for a wiggle here and there.

"Well, I guess I can do this superhero thing after all." There is a slightly weary smile on the girl's face as she pads on her bare feet towards the sounds of more battle in Sickbay. But as she rounds the corner to approach the entrance, a Frank springs forward and grabs her!

Frankcilious: You will be Franksimilated!

As the Frank touches her, there is a blinding burst of light from the ring on Artsy's right hand, and she screams in pain.

Commander Adon, a few meters down the corridor, hears the sound....

Kiehart swears under his breath, than bolts towards the nearest lift. "Sickbay. Now!" Kiehart taps his feet impatiently as the lift slowly carries him to the location where he needs to be. When the door opens, two of the remaining Franks tunr around. With deft speed he slashes both of them with his sword. Then the sword jerks violently to Kieharts right, blocking a large pipe being swung by one of the toher Franks. Every time he swings, the sword, of it's volition, swings to block it. Kiehart struggles to retain control of the sword long enoguh to go back on the offensive, gripping it tight with both hands. "Aw, c'mon sword, let loose for a minute!"

Crimson Crossbow overhears Kiehart and arrives on the scene, ingniting her double-bladed lightsaber (blue blades)....

Need some assistance?

"Not yet." Kiehart regains control of his sword briefly, but lone enough. With a quick slahs, the Frank is disabled. He grabs his leg in pain, then passes out, going into shock. "He'll live. Maybe. But get him to sickbay anyway." Kiehart sheaths his sword then looks around. The few Franks left standing are backed into a wall, obviously afraid. With a quick glance to the left, he sees Adon inching forward menancingly. Knowing Adon as he does, he really doesn't think Adon is planning anything particulary sadisitic, but the anticipation of pain can be as effective a tool as pain itself in the long run. Kiehart motions for Crimson to join him in copying Adon's evil grin, obviously fake, and walking towards the Franks, gun drawn. He thinks to himself, "I can't wait to see the look on their faces."

{a ball of light appears in front of the leaders of the Dark Side of The Frank Conspiracy & assumes the form of Obi-Wan Frankobi}

And so the ancient prophecy is coming true.

A thousand years ago The Frank Conspiracy was divided between those who sought a gentle conversion of all to Frankness by emphasizing the good things of being a Frank, and those who wished to force others to Frankness by any means necesary.

And now your evil methods are leading to your destruction.

{the head of the Dark Side hissed} No! We shall succeed! The LICC is simply a minor setback!

No. You shall fail because in your desire to force people to being Franks, you have forgotten about the Frank within. That which binds all & makes all one with the Frank, whether they know it or not.

Across the universe, light Franks are rising up against the dark Franks. The dark path always ends in a dead end.

{several members of the Dark Council charge Obi-Wan, then shriek in pain as they touch him}

The light always conquers the dark. Farewell to the Dark Side of The Frank Conspiracy. Long Live the Light.

{Obi-Wan turns back into a ball of light and leaves. The head of the Dark Side shakes his fist & screams} We cannot be defeated forever! Where the light shines, the dark lurks! One day the light will be gone and all will be dark!

All of a sudden, the Franks retreat en masse. For the moment at least, the battle with the Frankspiracy seems to be over. Kiehart stands there next to Crimson Crossbow and Adon. "Well. That was certainly unexpected."

Milkshake steps out of the turbolift. He has little pieces of Frank T-Shirts all over him.

Captain, the Franks suddenly disappeared! There was heavy fighting on Deck 47, we thought we'd have to call for reinforcements, then the Franks all ran away. We chased after them, but they hopped into a shuttle, blew a hole in the bay doors, and got away. The new bowling alley on Deck 47 is seriously in need of repairs now.

That is strange, Commander. Get the repair crews on the bowling alley repair job.
Ops, check that distress call to see if it's genuine. If it is, transfer the coordinates to the helm and get us there at top speed.
Tacoman to sickbay, is everything alright down there?
Butrfli: Everything seems to be back to normal, Captain. Perhaps we could go off somewhere and celebrate?

New, at Wacky Steve's:

Franks and beans!

Yes, your favorite LICC villains cured, smoked and simmered slowly in a savory sauce with only the finest Kansas City black and pinto beans. Our family recipe goes way back, and you won't find this great dish anywhere else!

Just this week, get a Franks and beans plate, and get a Wacky Steve's Signature Shake in a collector's cup for only $3.99! Stop by Wacky Steve's today! Route 80, off the Belt-line.

Wow! Two silly storylines in a row! I'm glad that the LICC has a new set of producers. Too bad that the new timeslot is so lousy.

Artsy walks unsteadily into sickbay, her clothes, eyes, and hair electric blue from fright. As she sees that this room too is empty of Franks, she begins to relax and the color fades towards cerulean. "Where did they go?"

Butrfli shrugs.

Artsy sighs. "I suppose that means sometime we'll meet up with them again?" She is playing with her ring as she speaks. "I never felt anything like that...absolutely no originality whatsoever. All the same." Artsy shudders, but her color is nearly back to normal white. "Did you say something about a party?"

Captain, the Franks that LT. Insane and were fighting just seemed to disappear. I wonder if thats the last we will see of those space-goths.

I certainly hope so, Inspector. (He pauses) I'm almost through with my new outfit. As soon as its done, I'll come to the bridge.

There is a noise, similar to that of a welding torch being used, over the comm-system. It quits after a few seconds....

There. Anyhow, I have an idea. After all the work we've done lately, we need to relax a little. I propose we have.....a LICC talent show!!! Anyone up for it?

Kiehart walks by and sees rocket Ranger. He remmebers an incident with his gun earlier, then turns around to walk back to him. "Hey Ranger. Um, I've been meaning to ask. Why did you throw out your old outfit when it got hit with the paintballs? I mean, that stuff IS washable." Rocket Ranger just stands there, staring at Kiehart saying nothing for several minutes. kiehart waves his hand in front of Ranger's face, and nothing happens. He doesn't even blink. "My god I think I've killed 'im." Kiehart says with deadpan delivery, then walks off.

I wonder what Rocket is doing down there...
Talent show... good idea. Later, we can go to DisneyPlanet...

Ah, that's the small one. DisneyUniverse's the place we want to go!

Suddenly, alien attackers storm the bridge, and the redshirt, demonstrating tremendous valor, bravely fights them off with his bare hands, finally dying a quick, painless death at the hands of the last alien attacker, who then keels over and perishes.

Oh well, perhaps we should have a memorial for that brave redshirt. A talent show, eh? I wonder what sort of talents the crew have...

Kiehart enters the bridge, strecthing. "Man, after all I've been thorugh the past month just watching a talent show would be too extrenuous. I was just coming up to ask the Cpatin fro some down-time. Take a shore leave for a few weeks. Oh, and I think Rnager just went catatonic. You might wanna have the doc look at 'im."

Rocket's voice comes over the comm again....

Uh....Kiehart, I'm still in my quarters, and I was never hit by the paintballs. I've only been in my lab and quarters since we left the convention center. EvilQ played a nasty trick on me. What's this about me being catatonic? He pauses for a few seconds. Uh-oh. You may want to have a second look; one of my holographic generators is missing! That was probably a hologram you saw. Look for a silver disk with a blue and black center stuck somewhere nearby the image and please take it to my lab!

Over the comm again....

I'll...ugnh...be on the bridge in a few minutes. I'm having trouble getting the chestpiece to seal properly. He pauses Ungh....argh....there. Finally! Get ready to be awed at the site of the new, improved Rocket Ranger! I'm on my way right now!

Well, as much as I would like to stick around for the talent show, I really must get going. I have some urgent errands to run that have been drastically delayed. I will return whenever I can.

Adon opens a portal and vanishes.

Kiehart scratches his head. "OK, so Adon was Chief of Secuirty wasn't he? Adn I was appointed Assistant Chief-" Kiehart frowns then puts his head in his hands "Oh no."

When exactly were you appointed Assistant Chief of Security, Kiehart? Doesn't Insane occupy the Tactical Two Position? If you don't want the job, we can find a capable yellowshirt to do it.

Rocket Ranger comes in over the comm.

Assistant Chief of Security, huh? I guess that means you're in charge until Adon gets back. (Cuts off his badge comm for a second, and says to himself...) Please let that be soon! (Reactivates his badge-comm) I'm coming to the bridge right now. Be honest, and tell me what you think!

Suddenly five worm-like humanoids transport onto the bridge, armed with big photon-rifles.

We are the Urthwyrm Jymms. Surrender this ship to us, or we will kill all of you!

Before anyone can react, there is a burst of blue-white light, followed by five blasts of teal-colored energy that knock the weapons from the intruders' hands. After that, a ring of solidified teal light appears around them, holding them together and restraining their arms.

Good thing someone was on his toes!

Everyone on the bridge looks toward the doorway. Rocket Ranger is standing there in his new outfit: a silver chestplate with flared shoulders and a teal `starburst' pattern logo, a teal cape, silver wristbands, teal gloves, a black belt with silver equipment pods on it, teal pants with a silver stripe down the side of each leg, and silver metal boots. And he is smiling.

Well, that was fun. So...what do you think of my new outfit?

Snazzy.

Say Obsy, I was wondering, would you be able to train me in the ways of the Jedi? I would really like to be able to do it.

This way to the next board --->

Look up

Look down

Look out!

Kick me!

This way to deck 147

Burma Shave!