So, the posters are being asked to cut down on the senseless redshirt deaths?

Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Hi, meesa am redshirt Jar Jar Binks, and theesa am my 47 clones, also redshirts.

And theesa are some more new redshirts.
Redshirt Leonardo DiCaprio, redhirt Celine Dion, redshirt Kathie Lee Gifford, redshirt Peter & redshirt Jwb52z.

All the new redshirts head are asigned to different parts of the Spidermobile so they can NOT be killed in one post

Tacoman looks at Rocket's new costume
Very nice.
As for the talent show... I can sing... we can do target practices...
Butrfli exits the turbolift and hears the last part
And I can show off some of my magic...

With all the redshirt Jar Jars, I don't think the red shirt truce will last very long.

All right, no Jwb52z-bashing here. He is one of the leading forces against Peter on Religious Musings and this placing him in a category with him will not be tolerated. Also, the redshirts are important members of the Spidership crew, not enemies thereof. We'll see you in court.

That would be difficult, Anonymous. However, it was impolite to include a Religious Musings participant as a redshirt.

Inspector, I would be glad to train you. A Jedi Master cannot be a Master without teaching others to use the Force. Remember though, the responsibility is not to be taken lightly. The Jedi may not be protecting the entire galaxy anymore, but a Jedi's first responsibility is to serve his fellow being.

Thank you obsy. I shall do well.

{meanwhile, up on the bridge thing are quiet until}

Ensign O'Niell: Captain, I seem to be getting some odd readings. It seems that there is a rapid buildup of Croniton readings in this area. {suddenly, without warning, a wormhole opens up, and a ship about the size of a runabout comes out.


Ensign Copeland: Captain, that ship is Hailing us.

Pilot: Thank goodness I got thru. Spidership, this is Taz Valko Of the Underground Network I know this is going to sound a little strange. I am from the future and I need to see You. {end of teaser}

How far into the future are you, Valko? And Underground network? I don't like the sound of that...

Hey, what about our talent show? Mind you, someone from the future might have some great talents to show off....

Too bad that our singing falls under the restrictions of the Geneva convention.

In respons to Milkeshake's question from the previous board; according to the LICC Arhcive, Kiehart is the Assistant Cheif of Security. If this is false, let me know.

Kiehart scratches his head. "I don't know who or why but I have the feeling someone appointed me that position." He looks confused. He sits down for a moment, in deep thought. Then his head jerks up. "Oh, that must've been it. Well, sorry that I confused everyone. Turns out to be a false memory implanted by some bad guys I fought awhile bakc. See ya'." He exits the bridge.

I can't really reveal my mission yet. the only thing I can say is that I am a friend of the LICC. in my time The LICC is highly revered and legendary. I just realized that you are Peter Dionysius Insane. In my time, The Jedi Movement lives on.

{whispering} Lt. I sense he is telling the truth but yet, I sense there is more to what he is saying.

Rocket Ranger raises an eyebrow, and looks at the Inspector, then at Taz Valko on the viewscreen.

Can you at least give us an idea of how far in the future you are from?

Tacoman steps out of his ready room with Butrfli and looks at the screen
Greetings, I am Captain Tacoman, of the Spidership. Would you like to come aboard to discuss things further?

Kiehart sits comortably in his quarters, sipping Strawberry flaovred soda out of a wine glass and listening to Diana Krall. "Ah, now this is the life. Computer, as soon as this song is over siwtch over to the live version of I've Got You Under My Skin please? Thanks." Kiehart's eyes begin to feel heavy. Slowly he realizes it has actually been a month since he last got anythiong more than a cat-nap. "I guess Wanderers deal with sleep deprivation better. If I were norma I'd probably've snapped and killed the crew by now." He frowns. "Maybe I have snapped. I'm talking to myself for cryin' out loud. Aw, who cares. Fact is the crew's not gonna need me anytime soonm." With that Kiehart drifts into sleep, that lovely piano-jazz playing in his ears.

[a new redshirt looking like a 1950's style robot, introduces itself in a mechanical monotone of a voice]

I am the Robot Redshirt.

I am an experimental unit designed to lower the fatality rate of living redshirts.

Since I am a machine, I can interact better with the consoles.

[sits at console which does not explode, and performs several functions flawlessly]

Also as a robot I am immune to physical injury. Here hit me with this axe.

[a yellowshirt hits the robot with the axe, but does not damage the robot]

I am the redshirt of the future.

[sweeps arms, bumps a blueshirt holding coffee, which spills onto the robot redshirt shorting it out]

Blueshirt: Ooops. Hey, what's this note?

Note: In case of shutdown push button on top of head.

[the blueshirt pushes the button and the robot pops back up]

I am back online and ready to work.

Excuse me, sir, but we've detected another chronological disturbance involving the LICC.

Again? What about our agent assigned to them, SuperBob?

We haven't heard from him since he died, sir.

What!?! He wasn't scheduled to die yet! Get me Personnel!

Yes, sir!

A Robot redshirt?!! That'll never work! I love seeing those redshirts get maimed and killed! I give it two episodes at most before its dropped!! And SuperBob is coming back? Quick! Get he kryptonite...or whatever the SuperBob equivalent is!

Valko, am I still alive in your time?

Agents Lucsly and Dulmer marerialize on the bridge.

Don't answer that one, Valko. Temporal Prime Directive, you know.

They immediately dematerialize.

So, Valko, are you part of the Human Union? We encountered them and our future counterparts, the Legion of Intergalactic Cosmic Champions, in the 64th Century.

Aah, The legendary Leader of the LICC. yes I would like to come aboard. It Has been a very bumpy ride thru the time Stream. Hopefully will be able to get this cleared up. Inspector Mystery: Captain, As Chief security officer I would recommend we assign a security detail to Mr. Valko once he comes aboard just to be on the safe side. I would also recommend we have the Doctor look him over.

Good idea inspector. Get it ready. Butrfli, get down to sickbay and tell the Doctor that we have a guest.
Mr. Valko, prepare to beam aboard in ten minutes or so. Inspector, I think ten minutes is enough time to get things ready for our guest, right?
Butrfli: Aye Captain. Butrfli enters the turbolift and heads down to sickbay

Kiehart wakes up to discover he's now on the floor. He looks around confused, and finds his bed in disarray. "Oh man. What happened?" He checks the bed. Then he walks over to the nearest computer console. He asks for anything concerning sleep disorders. He soon finds what he thinks is the answer. "Hmm. Symtpoms include violent jekring motion while sleeping, and waking up away from wher eyou fell alseep in the first place. I'd better see the Doc about this." Kiehart puts on his coat, but decides to leave his gun and sword here in his quarters. He walks to sickbay, and finds the Doc, the women who he hadn't been introduced to yet but was told her name was Butrfli, and someone he didn't recognize. All three briefly turned to look at him. Kiehart walked up to the doc and explained his rpoblem.

Thank you so much for your hospitality I shall be a well behaved guest. Forgive me for staring doctor, but I never knew you were a hologram, I always thought you were flesh and blood. Oh well I guess thats what I get for not knowing the records well.

Kiehart is surprised by this statement, but common snese kicks in. "Hmm. You're from the future aren't you?" He doesn't wait for an answer. Instead he turns back to the Holodoc. "So, you were saying about my sleeping disorder?"

(Deep within a Jefferies Tube, a Crewman works alone. He is suddenly grabbed and tossed and killed by an unseen asailent. His shirt is found several days latter)

So Butrfli's job is to replace the ship's communicator?

I wonder if they will replace the Captain's chair with a loveseat so she can sit next to Tacoman?

Does it seem like they've done a few too many time travel related storylines lately? Taconator came from the 64th century, the supervillain convention used old villains from the past, now this guy from the future... Are they using Voyager's writers?

And what happened to the talent show idea?

It's K-NIT, not KNIT!

I'd say Butrfli was proably sent to the sickbay because she's supposed to be Holodoc's assistant!

Tacoman to Taz Valko, when you get done in sickbay, please report to the conference room. I suspect you have a lot to tell us.

Ubermensch is on Earth, Fighting a clone of O'kak known as V'nn. V'nn is holed up in the Temple of Mumm Ra in Egypt.

Uber dispatches the guards and enters the tomb antechambers.

V'nn is standing there, shouting arcane phrases. Uber runs him through with the lance. V'nn cries "thank you." Uber is then expelled from the corpse. the body is sucked into the coffin, and Uber is pushed out as a magical wall forms around the tomb. Uber is knocked out cold and is lying near the entrence.

Ensign Howard please report to enginneering.

(Observer walks into sickbay during the last of Valko's examination. He looks concerned.)

Taz Valko, I unfortunately must question your presence in this time period. The Temporal Accords of 35563 will make unauthorized temporal transit illegal, punishable by exile to the In-Between and retroactive to the Dawn of Time. Jumping through time illigitimately is extremely dangerous. What is your purpose here?

The Observer? Is it not? I guess you could say that I am a spy. The people that I work for know that in the next few days there will be a turning point in the History of the LICC and we have knowledge of certain individuals in our time who have been known to sabotage things like these to their advantage and thats where we come in. We go back and keep an eye on people and or groups to make sure nothing happens and if nessassary, we reveal ourselves to our charges however we do not tell them the whole story because if we did, those we are guarding might become overconfident and inadvertinly change the course of history. I am from several decades in the future.

A redshirt is slowly walking, a breif power outage takes place on deck 5. A scream is heard. When the lights come on a red uniform is found.

So what can you tell us, Taz? Are you saying that we have another saboteur on the ship? In this time frame?

Kiehart walks into the conference room, where Taz, Tacoman, and Observer are. "Captain, I know I probably shouldn't get involved in this, so I'll just ask something then leave. What exactly is my position on this ship?" He turns to Taz. "You know, I probably shouldn't ask, but how come you didn't recognize me, but you recognized everyone else?"

Because you're special, Kiehart.

Milkshake grins and walks into the room.

So I'm supposing you're gonna give us a lot of run-around and not tell us what's waiting in the near future, right Taz? You know, you can fill us in on what's gonna happen, we won't tell. Right, guys?

Kiehart chuckles. "Sure. Like if he tells you that you're gonna die in three days when a jeffries tube on deck 12 explodes, you'll still go into that tube won't ya'?" Taz looks away and appears to stare at a wall.

Next Week...on LICC...

One of these heroes...

Screen flashes every regular League member, as well as the Redshirt Jar Jar

will DIE!

It's a show you can't afford to miss.

A more upbeat announcer comes on and says:

Catch LICC on it's new time, Tuesdays at 8, on K-NIT TV-47!

Special Announcement from Chish & Fips!!

Chish & Fips is proud to announce that we are throwing a party at our original location downtown in celebration of serving our billionth customer!
To celebrate this momentous occasion, all menu items (except our Rocky Mountain Oyster Platter) will be half off for one week, starting today!
This Saturday, from 10am to 1pm, stop by and get autographs from our special guests, the rock group Blimp Trizkit and Alan Murray, the hot new actor from Australia who plays Mick Potter on Port Mike!

(Please ignore the ad we placed in the newspaper yesterday; negotiations to get the actors who play Captain Tacoman, Commander Milkshake, and Captain Adon on LICC fell through, and the actress who plays Butrfli is unable to attend due to a family emergency.)

Gentlemen, gentlemen! Knowing too much of the future can be dangerous. I suggest that Taz only give us a general overview of the problem without going into a large amount of detail!
And as for your position on the ship, Kiehart, I have no idea at the moment.

Captain Adon?? When did this happen?

CnF ate an oyster and started to hallucinate. Probably. Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, due to a sudden outbreak of illness on the LICC set, this week's episode will feature some guest stars in the lead roles. Bear with us, as we were unable to afford anyone with actual acting talent!

Captain Tacoman will be played by the comedian Carrottop, and the role of Commander Milkshake will be performed by late night talk show host Conan O'Brien.

In addition, the part of Rocket Ranger will be played by `Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog'!

Thank you Captain. all I can say is in a few days the crew will be involved with something that effects the galaxy all the way to my time. I can't say more because, Its pretty much on a need to know basis any more information at this time could endanger the time stream.

Lt Insane. Have you fully recovered from your ordeal from The Frank Conspiracy?

I have, thank you, Inspector. Are you merely asking out of courtesy or do you have something planned for me?

Kiehart nods at what the captain says. "Quite right sir. Screwin' with the timeline can cause some serious problems. I've read enough comic books to figure that out on my own."

I've seen enough movies and read enough books to know that too, Kiehart.
Taz, we'll be on the watch for anything strange.

"Well, if you ever come up up with something I can do on this ship other than show up during a nasty fight, let me know. The doc said he was gonna get me some meds for my sleeping disorder."

Rikard walks into Sickbay, where he assumes Tacoman is

Captain, I paged Security and told them this but, I found one our crewman's uniforms. Lieutenant Nartala is no longer on the ship. He just disappeared, sir.

Kiehart is in sickbay, and hears this. A look of concern flashes across his face. "Now that is weird." He pops one the pills the Doc gave him. The Doic's eye widen. "No, Mr. Kiehart you were supposed to wait until bedtime!" He'd barely gotten the last syllable of bedtime out when Kiehart smiled and fell to the floor, sleeping like a baby.

I'm sure it wasn't MewQ this time!

[the robot redshirt is walking along when a mysterious something grabs it from behind and starts attacking]

This attack is pointless because I am not living, therefore I am unkillable.

[the robot redshirt tries to see it's attacker, but the attacker keeps a tight grip on it's head]

You might as well surrender now, for I do not get tired or exhausted & simply have to wait for you to become weak enough to loosen your grip.

[the attacker drags the robot down the hallway to the metal compacter]

Hey! What are you doing?

[the attacker shoves the robot into the compacter & activates it. when the door opens after crushing the robot to a small cube the attacker has gone.]

This is not funny. Assistance! I require assistance! Can someone press my reset button?

Artsy has been touring the Spidership since the departure of the Franks (and after escaping the HoloDoc's too insistent curiousity about her color-changing ability). Thus, she hears the news of a visitor from the future only in the form of a rumor from a passing blueshirt--who is mostly annoyed that the talent show has been indefinately put off.

Immediantly Artsy heads for the bridge, wanting to confirm this idea, and to ask for a comm badge so she can be kept up to speed on Spidership business. Meanwhile, she is mulling over an idea for renovating the ship's lounge by painting a mural of the most outrageous deeds of the LICC on the walls....

(Appearing silently near the back of the bridge, unnoticed by all except the automated security systems, Soyburger Patricia is surrounded by a force field while an intruder alert alarm goes off)

Nice to see you finally have a working intruder containment device.

(With a wave of her hand she walks through the force field and stands next to an empty chair, slightly leaning on the back.)

Now if you can just get an effective, working intruder containment device things will work out much better.
Well, enough idle chit-chat.
Since I've left I encountered a group of nevesytrof * researchers. They were attempting to find a way to overcome The Queue's restrictions on Omnipotence. **
Four months ago they found a way & nearly destroyed the universe. ***
I suspect when they reversed the damage they may have created a barrier to prevent The Queue from reentering & restoring order, such as it is.
I removed the item, of course. It allowed them to work as one, so each could work with a limited amount of power, but together perform omnipotent feats. Each time they did this, however, the item would be damaged and would eventually be destroyed.
I considered destroying it myself, but... (With her free arm she sweeps open her cape and from out of a magical fold steps a small, alien humanoid. She looks around the bridge then turns and clutches Patricia's leg. Patricia rolls her eyes up.)
Where I come from children your age who can't stand on their own are taken out & drowned.

Anyway, since you believe that the weak are to be protected, I thought you might wish to protect her. They called her Quito Power. Awful pun. Also that would give me a chance to deal with the remaining five.

(She looks down at Quito) Go! (Quito slowly steps away from Patricia, her antennæ quivering.) Also I recently fought two of them, they lost, of course, but... Go! (Quito walks and clutches the Captain's chair. Patricia rolls her eyes again, she slightly slumps, and mutters) Fine.

I need to see the Doc... (Patricia collapses unconscious to the deck)

* Nevesytrof is the base substance that makes up the LICC Universe & allows for superpowers to exist.

** The Queue created the LICC Universe.

*** The end of the original LICC boards.

I think this meeting with Taz is taking place in sickbay...
Hmm... looks like a redshirt... Inspector, launch an investigation and see what's happening to the redshirts.
Sickbay is hailed by the bridge. the current inhabitents of sickbay are informed of Soyburger's appearence and collapse. With that, Butrfli heads for the bridge.
Butrfli: ...massive exaustion mainly. We still need to get her to sickbay. Butrfli looks over and notices Quito Hi little one. we need to get you to sickbay too. We need to see if you're dangerous or not.
Quito looks up at Butrfli and takes her hand
Butrfli to sickbay, three to transport.
Seconds later, Butrfli, Quito, and Soyburger Patricia appear in sickbay
She, pointing at Soyburger needs to be treated for exaustion and anything else I missed. And this cute little thing indicating Quito needs to be scanned for anything dangerous.

Kiehart is walking down a corridor, walking like a night watchman, peeking into alocves and corners. The disappearence of the Redshirts confused him no end. Suddenly he hears a muffled voice. He strains to hear. "Assistance! I require assistance!" He rushes in the direction of the noise, and finds Robot Redshirt, smashed into a tiny cube. "Kiehart to Security! I found Robot Redshirt. He's been attacked. It could be by whatever's causing the redshirt disapearences! Get a team down here, ASAP!"

Captain, I suggest I investigate Valko's craft. If we're going to be involved in something soon I'd like to know what it is.

I'll come with You. BTW, Lt I was asking out of courtesy. I have a hunch about Valko. I'll get Lt jg Pollard to investigate what is going on with the disappearances.

Oh, yes? What's that hunch, Inspector?

Rocket Ranger is walking down a hallway, and is wearing a teal helmet with a silver emblem on the forehead. The faceplate is a silver, one-way lens. He activates his comm-badge (now located in his belt buckle)....

Rocket Ranger to Cpatain Tacoman...I've done some preliminary scans, I've found nothing unusual. Whoever...or whatever...is attacking the redshirts is either a normal part of our crew, or is hiding itself well! (He pauses) I suggest performing a spectroscopic analysis or all the ship's Jeffries tubes and hard to access areas!
I'm heading for my lab, then to Ops.

Insane, Inspector, go inspect Valko's ship. Valko can go with you if needed.
Rocket, I hear you.
Tacoman to the bridge, perform a steroscopic scan of the Jeffries tubes and hard to access areas.
Doctor, is Soyburger going to be alright?
Doctor: I believe so. She just needs some rest.
Also, let me know what you find out about the creature she brought with her.
Tacoman and Butrfli share a worried look.
I need to get to the bridge, darling.
Butrfli: I understand.
With that, Tacoman goes up the the bridge

Kiehart keeps checking the cube, but the Robot Redshirt's restart button is deep inside, where Kiehart can't reach it. "Sorry Robbie, but it's gonna take a Jedi to get to that button." He picks up the cube, and taps a nearby conole. "Computer, locate Lt. Insane."

Artsy arrived on the bridge just as Butrfli beamed off with Soyburger and Quito. Having been filled in on their odd appearence (and after requistioning a comm badge), she heads down to Sickbay to see more of this little curiousity.

When Holodoc and Butrfli turn from discussing their initial scans of Quito, they find her staring with intense interest at Artsy, who is crouched next to the little humanoid and busily molding and remolding a clay sculpture. Every time the pattern changes, Quito nods her head seriously or smiles a tiny bit, as if the shapes and rapidly fluctuating colors conveyed some secret message to her.

"What are you doing?" the Holodoc demands, as he had not heard her enter.

Artsy herself was a pale shade of gold, hands moving quickly and deftly to present the 'child' with new figures. "She understands it," was all she could say, smiling but never taking her eyes off Quito. "She knows the patterns like I never could. Who is she? What is she?"

Brings some flowers for Soyburger Patricia to the sickbay and smiles.

I'm just curious about this whole thing.I believe he is sincere in what he is saying, but the weird thing is he reminds me of someone and I can't put my finger on it. {they arrive at the Shuttle craft} the title of this shuttlecraft is "Adon's Revenge." Someone sure picked an interesting name for this craft. {they go inside and it looks something like The Delta Flyer.} These disks look like they could contain information. Lets play them. {the screen springs to life and it's Taz Valko's mission logs. Taz Valko: mission logs: 32470 I am about to go back to the time of the LICC and warn them of what is to come. All these generations that we have been at war with the enemy. At last we will have Praetoruis scared. When this is done his rule will nver come to be {there is a picture on the screen of a man wearing dark robes. Valko out. Inspector Mystery: Lt, did you notice the picture of Praetoruis? was it me our did it remind you of something?

Kiehart comes across the shuttle, and sees Inspector Mystery and Lt. Insane searching it. "Hey Lt.! I found Robot Redshirt. He was attacked and turned into a very PO'ed rubik's cube. I thought maybe you could use your Jedi powers to reach his restart button." He holds out the cube, then sees the picture in black robes. "Whoa, that guy looks familiar."

*ohcrapinsaneISajediisn'the?*

*heisapadawanasfarasiknow*

The turbolift doors on the bridge slide open, but the lift is empty. Suddenly, a flash of light bursts inside the unoccupied lift and Milkshake walks out onto the bridge.

We have far too many dark areas on this ship. Milkshake to Ranger.

"Ranger here."

I've found a sensor scan of the hallway where Redshirtbot was attacked. There's quite a bit of interference, but you should be able to use the data to narrow down your scan.

I wonder if Quesadilla Man is back....

About half an hour later, Rocket Ranger walks onto the bridge...

Captain, I've found something. I didn't want to tell you over the comm-system, in case our `intruder' is tapped into it. There is something...not sure exactly what....hidden deep in level 13!!

He hands Captain Tacoman a data-pad. It shows....

....a spectroscopic (not stereopscopic...who cares what its listening to?) map of level 13. There is a black patch in the middle of one of the rooms. Rocket Ranger points to it.

This....is what I'm talking about. I have a theory that this is what is responsible for the attacks on the redshirts. To prove that theory, I'd recommend that you send two or three team members in, disguised as redshirts. I suggest Kiehart, and either Quantum Man, Jadlad, or both, due to their powers. If not, there is an alternative...holographic redshirts, with me `leading' them!

Crimson Crossbow is on the bridge, and overhears RR's plan...

Cool idea, Quincy, but...do they transport in, or walk in?

Rockt Ranger: Walk in, as if there's nothing wrong, and they're just performing a standard security check. If our `redshirt molester' suspects that we're on to him....he, she, or it...might try to flee!

Crimson Crossbow: I was about to say that, myself. But...shouldn't you have someone on standby to beam in if something goes wrong?

Rocket Ranger: Yes. Too bad I hadn't thought of that. Thanks, Crimson! (He looks at Captain Tacoman) Well, Chief, what do we do?

I'll go.

"Sir, if you're looking for volunteers, nothing bad ever happened to me when I was in red. I'll go along if you like. [also, could someone explain why redshirts are so unlucky?]"

Jadlad dimension hops onto the bridge.

Alison* just got in touch with me about dad. I'll be back as soon as I can everyone.

He lowers his head and dimension hops off the bridge.

*That's his sister for the new posters who may not know about her.

Rocket Ranger manages to speak just before Jadlad hops out. Bye, Jadlad. Hurry back soon. (Right after Jadlad leaves) Hmmmm....Quantum Man and Artsy. That's two volunteers. Artsy, do you have any travel-based or protective powers? Can you teleport or project force-fields, or anything? If not, I don't think you should go, unless we take a trip to my lab first. I'll need to supply you with some equipment! (He pauses and looks around the bridge) Computer, please locate ensigns Sakai, Kobe, and Chen.

Computer: Ensigns Sakai and Kobe are in the galley. Ensign Chen is in Jefferies Tube #4.

Rocket Ranger (shocked): Jefferies Tube #4! But...doesn't that one pass through deck #13?! (He pauses and hits his badge-comm) Rocket Ranger to Ensign Chen! Exit that Jefferies Tube immediately! Do not..repeat..DO NOT pass by or enter deck 13!

Ensign Chen's voice comes in over Rocket's badge-comm) Affirmative. I've just finished repairs to a mag-grip here. I'm heading for deck 11 right now! I'll be....AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Rocket Ranger runs toward the turbolift. I'm going down there. If you don't hear from me or Ensign Chen in ten minutes, send someone to deck 13 with the Particle Cannon! (He enters the Turbolift)

Hmmm, computer, remove robes from image.

Computer: Acknowledged.

The image is now quite obvious.

Yes! Praetorius is, or was, a member of the Frank Conspiracy! The question is... where is he now? Does he even exist yet? Mystery, Kiehart, what do you think?

Tacoman looks at the image He does look somewhat familiar..
Computer, cross-index picture with an ancient show called "Mystery Science Theater 3000.}
Computer: Acknowledged.
The computer brings up several possiblities, including one Dr. Forrester, two guys named Joel and Mike, and a sidekick named TV's Frank
Hmm... TV's Frank...
Tacoman to Rocket, how's the search going?

If this Preatorius is somhow connected to the franks then we might have our work cut out for us. let me try something. Computer, cross index everything we know about the Frank conspiracy is it possibl they could have long lifespans. Computer: working: all evidence indicates it could be possible of such an occurance if franked individual comes from a society where longlifespans are prevalant. however it is unknown if the Franks posses such technology. Inspector Mystery: Captain, I suggest with recent events around here we should put the ship at red alert.

Meanwhile, a small ship, severely battered, and with one nacelle missing and the other badly damaged, slowly goes through space at impulse. The inside is just as bad, consoles shorting or shorted out, debris all over the place. Only one individual remains, wearing a Frank uniform...

Good idea Inspector. Computer, Red alert!
Artsy, when you get a chance, talk to Quito and see what she knows.
Doctor, is Soyburger conscious yet?

Rocket Ranger walks back onto the bridge.

False alarm, Captain. Ensign Chen screamed because he thought he was finished with repairs, but he found a damaged terminal that's going to take a long time to fix. I helped him fix it. I don't like the idea of someone being near the Jefferies tubes with all the trouble that been going on lately.

He turns to Artsy-Fartsy & Quantum Man.

Ready to put my little plan into motion?

Only if you promise an anvil won't fall on me, or a console won't explode, etc... killing me.

But hey, I'm supposed to be a superhero, so let's do it!

Rocket Ranger smiles (did I mention he has his helmet off?)....

I don't think you'll have to worry about anvils, Quantum. I'm not sending you and Artsy in alone. I've decided to send redshirt #1210 in with you. She might come in handy if a fight breaks out.

(Yes, redshirt #1210 is the X-cwX drone. Rocket has found a way to control her.)

Artsy: "Rocket, I don't have guns or any weapons like that, just my art stuff. And I can't teleport, but I can move very fast--were you at the convention when I redecorated it? Oh, and I have limited levitation abilities."

She gives the captain a little salute. "I'll talk to Quito as soon as this assignment is over sir. She's playing with my clay in Sickbay right now."

Yes, I was there when you redecorated the convention center, or rather what was left of it.

He opens one of the equipment pods on his belt and pulls out a silver and white device shaped like a disk, and hands it to Artsy Fartsy.

Put this on your belt. Its a force-field projector. Don't use it unless absolutely necessary: the charge only lasts 2 minutes, then the device completely burns itself out!

Kiehart walks about level 13 dressed as a Redshirt, wishing he had his gun and sword with him. But Ranger was right. The weapons were too big and would be noticed, giving him away.

(Patricia wakes up, sees alt-Furby and looks around puzzled)
This isn't the Black Widow. Oh, yes, now I remember.

(She starts to get up)

Time for me to go.

(The Holographic Doctor puts a hand on her shoulder)
Doctor: Not yet. There are still a few tests I have to run. Besides I have some questions about your little friend, and I'm sure the captain has a few questions as well.

Very well. What do you want to know?

Doctor: First, what species is she? At the moment I don't have anything to compare her vital signs to & don't know if my findings are normal.

I don't know what species they started with. They needed an organic, sentient object to channel the Nevesytrof through & keep themselves linked mentally.

Doctor: I take it then you don't know if she has any next of kin, or a home planet?

No.

(She answers the rest of the Doctor's questions about Quito)

Doctor: One final question. Why did you choose the name Soyburger Patricia?

Is that a medical question?

Doctor: No. Just curious.

I didn't choose it. In JARD I spoke Hsilgne, so I used a simple translation spell so I could communicate in different dimensions. Being a simple spell it translated to the first words that were most similar. So instead of being Le Royale Soyburger, I became Soyburger Patricia.

Any more questions?

Doctor: Not at the moment.

I'll have ship's scanners locate ANY kind of temporal distortion, just in case it has anything to do with recent events, or those conencted with Praetorius.

(At that moment a vast mist fills up around Kiahart. A vast shadowy form grabs Kiehart from behind and begins to drain his blood.)

There's a reading on planet Capanoram VII. It seems to be some sort of device, but I suggest we move in to investigate.

Ansh and Tammy come on to the bridge.

Ansh: Hi I'm out of sickbay now!

Tammy: Oh, No... What are you doing here Frank? You're not going to kidnap me again are you?

Insane, do it.
Suddenly a beeping sound is heard. Tacoman notices that the science station is blinking. He presses a button, and the screen displays the area Kiehart is at
Commander, look here...

Kiehart feels the blood being drained from but surprisingly he doesn't feel weak. He doesn't seem to be suffering from blood loss whatsoever. Whatever attacked is clearly confused by this as well. Kiehart takes the opportunioty and goes and the offense, spinning around before the attacker can swerve to avoid being seen. Kiehart lands a few quick blows and kicks to the attackers. The attacker grunts and falls to the deck in pain. Kiehart grabs it, and sees...

Hello.

Suddenly, Jack Perkins, Morrisey, Coleman Francis, Joe Don Baker, Kim Catrall, and Miles O' Keefe appear, grab Richard Basehart, and beat him to a pulp, all while yelling....

DEEEEEEEP HUUUUUUUUURRRRTTTTIIIINNNGGG!!!

DEEEEEEEP HUUUUUUUUURRRRTTTTIIIINNNGGG!!!

DEEEEEEEP HUUUUUUUUURRRRTTTTIIIINNNGGG!!!

[suddenly actors from 20th century movies began appearing all over the ship]

[on the Bridge]
All right pilgrims! Let's get these redshirts in a circle!

[in Sickbay]
Say the secret woid & the spider will drop down & give you a $100.

[in Zen Forward]
I like my martini's shaken, not stirred.

Entering orbit, Captain. I suggest a landing party be sent down to investigate it. Beaming it aboard might have some strange side effects.

Ladies & Gentlemen, please stay tuned following LICC to watch our exciting new, action-packed show, Jack Mightee, Ironjawed Detective!

Jack Mightee is a private investigator in the 1940's, with the ability to take a punch to the face with no harm!

Tonight....Episode One: The Fist of Danger!

Jack Mightee...He gives Danger the middle finger!

Silly old BF.

Kiehart shakes his head. "OK, I'm hallucinating. I must be. Kiehart to bridge, I'm going to sickbay for some nap time. I'm starting to see things. Oh, and the dumbass who's bee attacking all the Redshirts is down here. Come get him please."

Disloves into a mist.

Did anybody else see the ancient actor John Wayne?
Anybody not doing anything, go down to the planet and check out the device Insane found.

Certainly, Captain.

(Observer disappears)

A strange blue and green ship appears in ther distance on the viewscreen. A few seconds later, it hals the spidership (audio only)...

I apologize for not showing myself to you, but that is not possible, as this ship is a somewhat primative design. May I come aboard your ship? My name is Ojanon, and it is imperative that I speak with you!

Ops, scan the ship and the occupant. If it looks safe, beam him to the ship.
The turbolift doors open and Soyburger exits
Greetings Soyburger. You're just in time to answer a few questions.

Scanning...the ship itself is not that primitive, slightly below the technological level of the first Spidermobile. Strange...I can't get a lock on their propulsion system...the computer doesn't recognize it. The occupant is...strange...it's not scanning either. However, I have a gut feeling that it's safe.

In sickbay, Kiehart describes his hallucinations to the HoloDoc. He nods, then checks the ciomputer archives. "Hmm, yeah. That's notn uncommon." "What isn't?" Kiehart asks. "Some survivors of an exanguination attack experince a brief hallucinatory phase. It should be over right about now." kiehart breathes a sigh of relief. "That's good. I've been feeling an urge to haul my ass up to the bridge for some reason. I think we're about to get more company."

Suddenly Ojanon appears on the bridge of the spidership. (No transporter effect...nothing...he just appears!) He has on blue robes with a hood that covers his face. His hands are uncovered, and have a green cast to them....

Thank you, Captain. I...He seems distressed...oh,my. I sense that something is not right here. Has something strange happened to your ship or your crew lately?

Kiehart has entered the bridge at this point. Sarcastically he says, "Define strange."

ADJECTIVE : Inflected forms: strang·er, strang·est

1. Not previously known; unfamiliar. 2. a. Out of the ordinary; unusual or striking. b. Differing from the normal. 3. Not of one's own or a particular locality, environment, or kind; exotic. 4. a. Reserved in manner; distant. b. Not comfortable or at ease; constrained. 5. Not accustomed or conditioned: “She was strange to her new duties.” 6. Archaic Of, relating to, or characteristic of another place or part of the world; foreign.

ADVERB : In a strange manner.

ETYMOLOGY: Middle English, from Old French estrange, extraordinary, foreign, from Latin extrneus, adventitious, foreign, from extr, outside from feminine ablative of exter, outward. See eghs.

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language

Rocket Ranger walks onto the bridge and sees Ojanon....

Actually, we've had something strange going on. Something...or someone...is attacking our redshirts. Kiehart disguised himself as a redshirt and went to deck 13, per my instructions, and was attacked. Whatever it was drained blood from him, and he had severe hallucinations!

Ojanon looks in Kiehart's direction. Ojanon's face, except for his eyes and chin, are covered by a mask made of Malachite. His eyes appear to be solid white!

Is this true? (He walks over to Kiehart and examines him, then places his hand on Kiehart's forehead, closes his eyes, and concentrates for almost two minutes. When he is finished, he opens his eyes and withdraws his hand.) I suggest you get this man to sickbay and keep him restrained as best you know how! Otherwise, there may be trouble!

To Definer: Smart ass.

Kiehart: Who? Me or him?

Ojanon moves away from Kiehart, and raises his right hand. A greenish mist appears around Kiehart and swirls around him. Bluish colored splotches appear on Kiehart where he was grabbed by his attacker. The mist fades after a few seconds, but the splotches remain....

There! You see it?! Those marks show where he was attacked! You must confine him to sickbay and place him in restraints for the good of your crew...and your ship!

Rocket Ranger walks over to Ojanon...

Ojanon, you're a member of the Malachite Order, aren't you?

Ojanon turns toward Rocket Ranger.

Yes. Yes, I am. But...I didn't think anyone on your team would have heard of us!

Rocket Ranger turns to Captain Tacoman.

Sir, I suggest you get Rikard, Lt Insane, and Observer to come here as soon as possible. The Malachite Order are part of the Lifeblood Sorcerors, an off-shoot of the Jedi!

Ojanon looks at Rocket Ranger.

True. What the Jedi refer to as the `Force', we refer to the Lifeblood. We believe that the Lifeblood is a power inherent in all living beings. Unlike Jedi, we carry no weapons; we have no need for them, as we have learned to manipulate the Lifeblood to protect us in ways that the Jedi cannot do with the Force!

Rocket Ranger looks at Ojanon...

Then...what do you do if a dark Jedi attacks you with a lightsaber?

Ojanon smiles underneath his mask.

A lightsaber is useless against me. You see, I only \(appear) to be a being of flesh and blood. A Lifeblood Master ceases to have a true physical form, at least in the way you know it.

Tacoman to Rikard, Insane, and Observer, please report to the bridge as soon as possible. We have a person you might like to meet.
Kiehart, I'm going to accompany you to sickbay, to make sure you'll get there.
Kiehart and Tacoman go down to sickbay, where they explain the entire situation. Kiehart is placed in a biobed to where he is restrained. To be extra careful, a force field is erected around the bed.
Tacoman: Hi Butrfli. Been busy?
Butrfli: Just a little. How about you?
Tacoman: Oh you know... disappearing redshirts, myserious strangers, the usual.

Insane and Mystery are investigating the craft.

Interesting... Kiehart is still around as leader of the Underground Resistance. Adon was defeated by one of Praetorius' crack troopers and he handed the reins to Kiehart. Hence the name "Adon's Revenge"

He gets the message from the bridge.

Acknowledged.

He gets another message, this one from Heliotrope, Transporter Chief.

Right, coming. Insane to bridge. I'm going to the transporter room, Obsy's team has brought back the device, I'm going to check it out.

Insane and Mystery leave the room.

Insane and Mystery enter the Transporter Room. A device exists on the transporter pad, about the size of a television or computer monitor, and clearly meant to attach onto something. Insane takes an interface/scanning device and sticks it in to a port.

Mystery: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwn'tuh thnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnkruh iiiiiiyyyyyyyyyytuh wwwwwwwwwwwoooooooooooowwwwdduh bbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh ggggggggguhoooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwddduh iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyedheeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh...

Insane takes the device out and walks over to Mystery

Mystery: before we know... Great Scott, you were quick!

Insane: Hmmm... I have a feeling I know what this device does...

TO BE CONTINUED ON LICC2 PART XXIV

NOTE: The Redshirts based on real people were sent back to their proper space & time unharmed.

No real people were harmed in the making of this board.

Digital characters on the other hand are fair game, as they are not living to begin with.