V...is the loneliest number you'll ever know..

Wasn't it a miniseries which used to have a board to itself at Nitcentral moderated by Matt Pesti?

The Imperial Furby Choir is celebrating the launching of this new board. The echoes can be heard even somewhere in the DS9 sink.

Does this mean we need a V-Chip to watch this episode?

The team heading for Earth enters the fighter bay behind Kiehart. "Check it out boys! A sub-orbital dropship. Minimal profile, all the latest sensor jamming equipment, we drop her out the ship somehwere outside the maximum snsor radius of the enmy fortress, and we can ride in under the radar. They won't see us coming. Just like the marines in Aliens."

New to the K-NIT Tuesday night Teen fest. "Kleinestadt", The Story of a Young Ubermensh. He slowly discovers his new power and acts completely out of character, because this show is not made for Ubermensch Fans, it's made for fans of Teen films. This Tuesday. And discuss it afterwards on the Nitcentral Discus board, which will hopefully get set up by then.

EXT: SPACE
The Spider flies through space towards Earth.

INT: DOCKING BAY
The hatch to the dropship opens up, and the various team members climb in.

EXT: PLAINS ON EARTH
The Spider flies overhead, and a hatch opens on the underside. The dropship falls out of the hatch and flies ahead.

INT: DROPSHIP
Shot of the various team memebrs, sitting in their seats, cramped together. Close-ups on each one, Insane, Kiehart, Artsy, Observer, Ansh, Enesku, Adon, Butrfli, Donna. The camera lingers on Donna longer than on the others.

EXT: PLAINS ON EARTH
The dropship flies onward, heading away from the audience into the distance.

Sees the Screenplay.
Rikard: Umm, excuse me? Am I not important enough? Too normal? Is everyone mad that I quite unintentionally started the Light-side Force-user trend? Did I use the transporter? Am I piloting? Yeah, that'll work. Here we go...

Rikard pilots the ship down to Earth.

I thought we were supposed to use parachutes to get to eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarth........

Redshirt burns up upon rentry. Of course he was already dead from the vaccum.

The marching army of Franks strides onward like a Roman legion, in lines and columns, with Frank Morkoth a few paces ahead of the front line. He gives the order and they all halt. Morkoth unclasps his binoculars from his side and holds them in front of his eyes. The dropship can be seen heading towards them from the distance.
He gives the signal to Praetorius, who stands at the ready on the top of what has been made of the fortress. At his side is a large Frankapult, loaded with anvils. He pulls the string, and the Frankapult launches, propelling anvils far into the distance.
The anvils are seen by the crew in the dropship, but not even Rikard's manuevers are quick enough to deviate them. The anvils hit them in rapid succession, damaging many systems and opening many large holes. The ship crashes a short distance from the army, its crew in a bad shape.

pushes some tritanium rubble off himself

Hey, is everyone OK? Kiehart, I'm talking injuries, not moaning about the destruction of the craft.

Dear Mr. Frank Morkoth,

As you know, the ACME corporation has a tradition of providing fine anvils for use as silly weapons. This tradition dates back to the mid-twentieth century. In fact, the ACME corporation has a perpetual patent, copyright, and trademark on such usage.

You are illegally using ACME's intellectual property, and as such are subject to the term of the DECA (Digital Eternity Copyright Act). Please hold still to be arrested and executed.

Thank you,

Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe, Attorneys at Law,
Representing the ACME Corporation

Tacoman notices the rain of metal and begins shooting down as many anvils as he can with the Spider's weapons
Tacoman to attack team, are you alright down there?
Meanwhile, the Luggage approaches the rear of the Frank fighting force and begins causing several forms of havoc, from simple swallowings to more complex dancing on people. It engulfs and stomps on a Frank here and there, reducing their numbers by tens. It also swallows a tricorder or two for no reason at all.

(Observer gingerly lifts an anvil off of his foot.)

I'll be fine.

(He immediately begins helping the other members up)

Is anyone hurt? Kiehart, if you weren't invulnerable, you'd certainly have a new hat size.

An anvil sails through the air. In a flash of silver, the anvil is cut in two, and the two halves land harmlessly on the ground.

I am ok.

Adon shoots another anvil out of the air.

The anvils are being launched from too far away. I will need to get closer in order to stop them.

Rikard looks up into the sky.

Don't worry, they should be able to do it.

The yellowshirt piloted fighters scream overhead the team, avoiding launched anvils, and approach the Frankapult, starting their first bombing run.

This could end badly. We don't know what other anti-aircraft defenses the Franks have. Hopefully, they're not too formidable.

He checks out the ship, and the damage the Franks have done.

If we can seal the breaches, with forcefields maybe, we should be able to launch her again, at least for long enough to get back to the Spidership. Or long enough to get a few kilometers away. Does anyone need medical attention?

Always getting shot down.

"Where's Elizabeth from V when you need her? And how did she become a 16 year old over night. Wait, this is a dropship, it's supposed to crash."

Kiehart grips his chair tightly. Insane finally notices that Kiehart's grip is what's keeping the chair from falling through a hole in the bottom of the ship. "My feet hurt like a mother •••••• but other than that I'm cool!" He winces. "Can we land soon? I'll set the autopilot to take this bad girl back up to be repaired. And as you got to pilot her on her maiden voyage Josh, you get to name her!"

Captain, I think I can integrate the high-resolution sensors with the weapons array to deliver a tightly-focused nadion beam directly at the critical structural support of the enemy's projectile-launching weapons system.

In other words, I can take that catapult out. Permission to proceed?

Jadlad singing while he works.

I'm working on my station!
Fixing things that my other self did!
I'm working on my station!

Done for now. Lets see if this works.

Jadlad pushes some buttons and several of the Franks transform into characters from various old 20th century action films. But they are still Franksimilated.

Uh oh! I think I made things worse instead of better.

The place where Ansh and Artsy's seats were originally bolted has been turned into Swiss-cheese by anvils. Artsy is dangling, apparently unconscious, from her tilted chair, held in only by crash webbing.

As the others begin speaking, she slowly lifts her head and moans softly. Her eyes and hair have gone transparent grey with pain, like smokey crystal, though there is no blood on her uniform. She tries to speak, but doesn't seem able to catch her breath....

Praetorius sees the luggage devouring Franks, grabs an anvil and throws it down. Realising that doesn't seem to be working all that well, he throws another down, and another, until the Luggage is trapped underneath them, and knocked out for the time being. He calls the Frank at the back of the row.

Hey, you, bring that trunk thing up here. I have a plan for it.

The Frank does as he is told, and gives the Luggage to Frank Praetorius.

Pefect! The best projectile we have!

He throws the Luggae in the pile of anvils, being careful to stack a few more anvils round it, should it come to consciousness again.

He then looks up and sees the Spidership hovering above. He leaps up to the top of the Frankapult and holds up his force-fielders, Xing them together. The Spider fires, and the energy beam bounces off the forcefield and back onto the Spider!

Hey, Artsy, are you OK?

He climbs over to Artsy and helps her up.

I think she needs medical attention. Observer, you might be able to help.

Hey, she sounds like she needs mouth-to-mouth. How come she does and I don't?

Anvils? We're firing anvils? We're the Frank Conspiracy. We should be firing Frankvils!

That's it! I can't work with these amatuers anymore!

I'll be in my trailer.

(Cursing like a Webber-creation Ensign First kicks down the dropship's damaged door& starts blowing away Franks with her oversized gun)

Why you •••••• ••••• mother franking •••••• ••••• ••• •••••••• pieces of ••••• ••••• •••••••••••ing •••••• ••••• •••••!!! You're ••••••••••• attack caused a short-circuit which fried my hairdo!

Bye bye bye... KABOOM!!!

(and are blown to smithereens by Ensign First)

The deflected beam heads back toward the Spidership and hits. The ship jolts, and those on the Bridge shake from side to side.
Commander, do whatever you need to do.
Jadlad, how did you transform the Franks, and what characters have they turned into?
On the surface, Butrfli, who was thrown out of the dropship by the crash but is unhurt, rushes over to where Artsy is hanging and scans her
Broken arm...punctured lung...mild concussion...I'll do the best I can with my staff and medkit...
Butrfli touches Artsy with her staff, and both start glowing. When the glowing finishes, Butrfli scans Artsy again
Her arm is back to normal... the punctured lung is now slightly brused, and the mild concussion has turned into a headache...
Anybody else need medical attention?

Ensign First is concussed by a volley of anvils, meaning the No-Profanity Hammer has its work taken care of without being required to do it.
At the sight of the destruction of many franks including the guest appearance by N'FRANC (who helped to spread the message of the Conspiracy by their all-corrupting lyrics), Frank Morkoth yells.

"CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!"

The rest of the Elite Franks rush at the crashed dropship and go in for the kill. One or two are hit by stray anvils, but the rate is very small. Several Frank Swartzeneggers, Frank Stallones and Frank Willises fire machine guns at the wreck. There is no choice but for the LICC to get out and defend themselves.
Lt PD Insane, always ready to prove himself hero, leaps out and activates his lightsaber, deflecting as much of the ammunition as he can, it flies toward him. But most of it still causes more damage to the dropship.

Now that's funny. I can detect a magic spot on the surface. Hm, I think it's time to get the spellbook and the hat.

He returns a few minutes later. Strangely the wizard's hat has "Furbby" written on it.

(Observer, who has rushed over to aid Artsy, now spins around and begins deflecting the incoming bullets with his lightsaber. Without breaking his concentration, he shouts over to Insane,)

Might I suggest we rally our forces and mount a counter-attack? This can only get worse!

Insane swirls the saber around in a vain attempt to deflect all the bullets. But they are coming in too thick and fast, and he realises the best thing to do is to walk ahead, bearing their brunt. He is hit in the shoulders, arms, legs and sides by many, but he still pushes on. As he gets closer, Frank Swartzenegger activates his forcefeilders, and propels both Insane and the lightsaber smashing into the dropship remains.

Yes, he gasps, rally forces, good idea!

He gets up again, ready to begin

Insane, stay back, we can't win this by wading into them! This might be cheating a little, but...

(Observer's eyes seem to focus on something far away, even though his reflexes still take care of the incoming projectiles. Then, after a moment, he looks with burning determination at their attackers. He points the tip of the lightsaber at the small hillock the Franks are attacking from, and shouts one word.)

BURST!

(The hillock explodes in quadrillions of tiny grains of dirt, and the Franks find themselves all traveling to new, faraway locations, by air.)

Whew.

Artsy unsnaps her crash webbing and ducks down behind some debris within the dropship. "Thanks, Butrfli!" Her color has revived, though the ready/angry orange is still outlined by blueish-grey. She peers out through a crack in the hull at the advancing army of Franks. "Light...." Her brow furrows in concentration. "Would a diversion be useful? I can't reach them from out here--" thinking: that paintgun Ansh said she'd help me design would come in really handy right now "--but I bet I could get through their ranks without being seen."

For safety reasons I'll better put on my ape costume.

Oook! Hmmm, Banana, yummy!

The scattered Franks pick themselves up, alive but not unscathed. They are not so much angry, however, as blinded with rage. They all rush inwards at the dropship, weapons pointed, and fire at it. The dropship starts to come apart, the crewmembers inside becoming more and more vulnerable.

Some of them rush to Observer, ready to do battle with him. Frank Manson pulls out his energy whip, and wraps it around Observer's lightsaber. He tugs at the whip, but Observer remains holding the hilt.

Some Franks, surprisingly, retreat. That is, it would be surprising if anyone were there to witness it. They run back to the fortress construction ground to get some more... supplies.

Meanwhile, Frank Praetorius continues to fire anvils at the dropship. Eventually he picks up the Luggage, starting to wake up, and throws it on the Frankapult. He pulls the string, and the Luggage is launched in the direction of the anvils. It lands right in front of Frank Morkoth... and swallows him whole.

Ansh comes to
What happened? Artsy helps her up I'm okay I've just got a sore head and a broken finger. she ignites her lightsaber

It's times like these I wish I had a Reggian Name-Changer. Right, let's change the playing field a little.

(Observer speaks a few alien words, and the ground begins to rattle. Pretty soon it turns into a full-blown earthquake, shaking Frank and Leaguer alike to the ground. What happens next is very peculiar. The ground under and around the Dropship is suddenly thrust upward better than two-hundred feet in the air. Suddenly the crew find themselves on a tall pillar of solid earth and bedrock, the attacking Franks left far below. All except Frank Manson, who is whimpering and hanging on for dear life just below the edge, holding his energy whip which is still attached to Observer's lightsaber. Observer snaps his weapon off and turns to the other crew-members.)

Well, that should give us a bit of a break.

Suddenly, a group of Franks are crushed by something dropping out of the sky. Upon further examination, it's more legal papers from Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe! They are pressing forward with their lawsuit for illegal use of anvils!

What will Frank Morkoth do now?

Kiehart stares up at the pilar. He was thrown loose by the shaking while it was rising and fell several feet. "Aw man, good thing I didn't keep my keys in that pocket." he groans as he stands up. A small army of Frnaks, bruised and battered by falling chunks of dirt, start to crowd him. Kiehart doesn't try to go for his gun or his sword. He instead leaps right into the lead Frank landing a punch right on his neck that crushed his windpipe. The other Franks jerk back as the Frank that Kiehart jumped crumples to the ground. "Who's next?!" He unsheathes his sword, and reaches for his gun, only to find it isn't there. He looks up. the strap of the gun is cuahgt on an outcroping in Observer's pillar. "••••."

Frank Wyndham delivers a punch to Kiehart's abdominal region (that's a grown-up word for tummy), Kiehart is unharmed. Frank Wyndham continues to punch, and manages to drive Kiehart straight into the pillar. Kieahrt just pushes valiantly forward, and they start to roll around on the ground, beating at each other.

Note to Leagl Plot Twist: Frank Morkoth was eaten by the Luggage. And besides, it's Frank Praetorius who has the Frankapult with the anvils.

The formerly fleeing Franks return. They are holding a battering ram with a weird-looking skull design on the front. Eight of them hold the large piece of wood, four on each side, and thump it against the pillar, which shudders under their influence.

May I suggest that we quickly heal ourselves and prepare to attack? I cannot keep us on solid ground forever, and no matter that Kiehart is invulnerable, he is not having a good time down there.

(Meanwhile, the thumping against the pillar causes Kiehart's gun to jar loose, and it falls, fortunately, right into his hand.)

Kiehart smiles. "God I love coincidence!" He fires at the charging Franks, the pxlosive armor piercing rounds rapidly making quick work of the first wave. The second wave of Franks, their numbers growing as more Frnaks come to fight Kiehart, holds back. Kiehart smiles. He now has a wepaon in each hand. He suddenly look up at the sky, and, doing his best imitation of Mel Gibson in braveheart, yells, "FREEEDOMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" before charging right into the enemy ranks, swinging and firing.

Note to Leagl Plot Twist: Frank Morkoth was eaten by the Luggage. And besides, it's Frank Praetorius who has the Frankapult with the anvils.

ARRGH! WE HATE THAT! WE'RE SUING YOU ALL!

Quickly, Lackeys! Drop legal bombshells on Frank Praetorius!

After a flurry of new postage is stamped, a ton of legal briefs, subpoenas, motions, and other legal-type documents lands on the Franks near Frank Praetorius.

The "Frnaks" which Kiehart is attacking all throw up their force-field sticks in unison, and as Kiehart makes his run he bounces off the force fields and into the pillar, causing it to shake even more. A few pieces of hull land on Kiehart.

Rikard spends the entire time trying to get the ship flyable again. He almost has it working again when it starts to fall apart. He is thrown out of the pilot seat and hits the floor hard. Then, the ship rises as the pillar is created. However, as the Franks begin to pound the pillar, the ship begins to move closer and closer to the edge, getting ever nearer to falling. Rikard, seeing that no one else is in the ship, quickly vacates the vessel, grabbing an assault rifle on the way out. He comes out and looks over the edge.

Well, let's get down there and help Jason out. Shall we?

Rikard sets the rifle for a very high setting and fires into the crowd of Franks, taking out a few who didn't have their shields on.

I'm ready if everyone else is. I can reduce the pillar back down to normal height, or perhaps float us down and let this piece of earth fall on the Franks instead...

Adon, meanwhile, had wandered away from the crash site, disposing Franks as he went. At last, he came to an empty shack with a thick metal sign in front. The sign read: "The Garden of Unresolved Plotlines Toolshed." Unfortunately, there were no tools left inside. That didn't stop Adon from going inside and looking around.

He was about to leave, after finding that the shed was empty when he heard the sound of something heavy swinging through the air. A Massive something took the top half of the building off, barely missing the top of Adon's head. Just before the raining dust and debris completely obscured Adon's view, Adon saw a line of Franks armed with guns. The one in the center was the largest Frank Adon had ever seen. Then the sound of gunfire filled the air.

The remains of the shed vaporised under the sheets of lead flying through the air. Then a Frank armed with a rocket launcher fired into the dust, sending rocks and bits of wood flying in all directions. Finally, their weapons clicked on empty and a gentle breeze started blowing.

The dust cleared revealing where the shed used to be. It was completely gone. Not one board was left standing. There was one thing left standing in the middle of the shack, the metal sign. It was twisted and deformed by multiple bullet impacts, but it was still whole. With a groan, the sign fell to the ground, revealing Adon standing behind it, completely unscathed. His sword was in his hand.

If you want to see tommorow, you'll tell me where Frank Praetorius is hiding.

Butrfli looks up from where she has been treating a few blueshirts brought down to fight
I've finished my medical duties, now it's time to play!
With that, Butrfli unfolds her wings and flys above the battle. She begins flinging spells of all sorts at the attacking Franks. A fireball over here, an acid ball over there. One spell hits a Frank and immediatly wraps him up in solid Plotinium, and another Frank is encased in crystal up to the neck. Some of the spells miss their targets and are absorbed by the Luggage, which is giving off an octarine glow due to the spells. Butrfli notices the Luggage.
Hmm.. could that be made from sapient pearwood, which my original home received through trade with another dimension? What was that planet called? Flatworld? Ringworld? Oh yes.. the Discworld...
Her thoughts are interrupted by phaser fire from the attacking Spidership.
Butrfli to Tacoman, watch where you're firing! You almost hit me!
Tacoman: Sorry, next time we'll aim better.
Butrfli: Very funny.

Artsy moves gingerly away from the dropship, inching towards the edge. "Go ahead and take us down, Observer. I've only got limited levitation abilities and this pillar is kind of high." She shifts her now-battered art satchel and peers down at the battle below. The glowing luggage catches her eye. "What's that thing?"

The members of the Pokemon Drop Squad are ready for attack. On their sign the bay doors are opened and they jump at the surprising Franks.

And there was much rejoicing.

Some Franks try to escape but those efforts are fruitless, because the is no banana nearby.

Meanwhile the Teletubbies of Doom have developed another way to reduce the number of Franks. Three of them fire pink fast-hardening superglue from the Spidership at their unfortunate victims, #4 completes the task with an ancient steam roller.

Crunch!

The Furbies smoothly glide down and land on the pillar.

If somebody wants to go down, just hang on and enjoy the ride. Artsy, just embrace me! Wait, let me first cast a few healing spells...

The members of the LICC assault team feel much better.
To relax the situation further quite a few Franks suddenly have the urge to choke each other. Many do so.

Btw, you Luggage are looking familiar to me! Haven't we meet once in a library somewhere in the L-Space?

The Luggage turns towards the Furbies and gives an air of apprasial. After a few minutes, it lifts its lid in what can be interperted as a shrug. It goes back to attacking various Franks, droids, and anvils that come its way. In the meantime, Butrfli has returned to the ground and is joined by Donna in the magic-flinging fun.
Well, should I give them a taste of my wing power?

Kiehart laughs and cheers with delight as slowly, and goreily carves his way through the Frank army. The attacks by the other heroes has driven many of them into different directions, spliting up thri forces, but a sizeable number is still jumping on kiehart. His gun whirs and clicks and stops, a sign that it is overheating from constant fire, He slices off the arm of a Frnak who's gripped his leg and takes the brief moment of reprise to put his gun away. He starts hacking with enhanced force and speed now that he can use both his hands to direct his sword. The Frank army, almost literally starts to go to pieces around him. Suddenly a strong burst of wind, caused by Butrfli senda him and a large number of Franks tumbling over. Kiehart slams down his sword and grips tight as Frank bodies fly past him. He starts to lose his grip just as he sees the ravine that he'll fly into, but then the wind stops. And he slams hard into the ground. He reaches for his communicator to call the other team members to check on them, but he notices that it was smashed in the battle. He does an assessment. His gun is dented in several places, nasty dents at that. His sword is chipped. He wasn't even sure that was possible. His clothes are torn and tattered in the worst way. "Christ it's an act of god what I have left is staying on." As if on cue, what clothing remained falls to the ground. "Aw nuts." He finds a dead Frank, and takes his pants and shoes, but leaves the shirt, although it's mostly wearable, becuase he doesn't want to risk being Frankified. He wraps his surprisingly intatc gun holster around his shoulder and starts walking back to the rest of the team, who cheers as the Franks begin to retreat.

Jadlad is working on the pseudoscience station while replying to Captain Tacoman.

I used a Carsonian Name-Changer. But I didn't know it was broken. And the display was wrong, it was the actors not the characters. Sorry.

Anyway I'm trying to get it fixed now. I only have a partial list of Franks I changed.

Frank Chan = Jackie Chan
Frank Eastwood = Clint Eastwood
Frank Gibson = Mel Gibson
Frank Lee = Bruce Lee
Frank Li = Jet Li
Frank Seagal = Steven Seagal
Frank Stallone = Sylvester Stallone
and
Frank Van Damme = Jean-Claude Van Damme

"Frank Praetorius is hiding nowhere," the Frank Adon is speaking to replies. "He is at the back of our force, inside the fortress. It is he who is firing our catapult."

----

The LICC team are lowered down from atop the pillar, and begin to get into the fight. PD Insane holds up his hand, and emits a beam from his power ring. He waves his hand around, and the beam drags the nearest Frank around with it. But the Frank manages to pull up his force-fielders and deflect the blast, straight back into the power ring!

A Frank resembling Scott Bakula raises a crossbow, and fires at a redshirt, killing him.

(A noxious cloud of smoke forms over the rear forces of the Franks)
Haaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiii-yah!!!

(And Sailor Evil drops down from it onto the heads & shoulders of several Franks)

Assorted Franks: Ow! Ooof! MEDIC!

(She then proceeds to runs over to the frankapults, stepping on the assembled Franks' heads, while wearing her spiky high heel shoes.)

Limburger Cheese Bombs!!!

(The smelly explosives damage the frankapults and stink up the area so the Franks are forced to get away so they can breathe.)

Frank Moe: Seize her!
Frank Curly: I sees her! I sees her!
Curly Moe: Why you franklehead. *bonk* *clunk*

(She then throws her three-bladed knife which splits, slices off several frankshirts then reforms as it returns to her)

Amazing what one can learn when one finally reads the manual.

(Several groups of Franks have grabbed weapons and aimed at her when she covered the area with an oppressive gloom. The Franks fire and when the gloom clears the Franks in the area where she stood are dead, wounded or unconscious, but Sailor Evil has teleported back wence she came.)

Several Franks run into the room, armed with strange-looking rifles. Before they can fire, Rocket Ranger appears (wearing his slimmed down armor, which has a cape and doesn't cover his arms) and disintegrates the Franks' weapons with several well-placed teal-colored energy blasts. The Franks try to run, but Rocket Ranger points and a dome of teal-colored energy stops them dead in their tracks.

Frankly, I've had it with these Franks!

Good day Mr. & Mrs. Terran Federation and all the ships in space.

This just in. LICC has been joined in their fight against the Franks. This reporter has just been informed that Mustardman & Ketchup* are spraying Franks with a substance that is designed to dissolve Frankshirts. The Knarfs* are broadcasting the interference boradcast that keeps the Franks from communicating telepathically, and... and yes, this has just been confirmed the Multi-bot** from the Acme Redshirt Corporation's Robotics Division has just come over the horizon to squash the Franks flat.

* LICC 2 XXII
** LICC 2 XXX unnamed, but from a Robot Redshirt post

Hmmmm... donut. *drool* *chomp chomp chomp*

How come we didn't see this Ensign First in the shots of the other members on the Dropship?

Maybe she was sitting on Rikard's lap?

Ladies and Gentlemen, soon it will be time to destroy the fortress of Franks! When that time comes, I want you to fire at it en mass and destroy as much as you can! The Spidership will do the rest!
Tacoman, who has temporally taken over Weapons Control, targets a number of Franks, and fires random weapons. One Frank is hit by the Polymorph weapon and is turned into a Steak. Others are hit by phaser fire, leaving nothing but smoking shoes.
YEEEHHHHAAAA!

(Ensign First comes to, having been knocked unconscious by anvils)
*groan*
Well, this has been some day.

Not enough room on the dropship so I have to sit on Rikard's lap.

My hair is ruined.

And now I've got a really bad headache and these annoying birds flying around my head.

(she fires her hand phaser at the imaginary birds)

Well, it's time to get Old Testament on those Franks' [CENSORED] for doing this.

(she picks up her oversized rifle and looks at the controls)

Stun No.

Heavy Stun Nope.

Coma Uh-uh.

Kilt Wha...?

Kill Too good for them.

Really Killed Hmmm...

Eviserate Hehehehehehe...

Frappé Oooooh!

Fate Worse Than Death Oh, yes, baby!!!

(Sets the rifle to Fate Worse Than Death and starts blasting Franks again)

** Fate Worse Than Death Oh, yes, baby!!!

(Sets the rifle to Fate Worse Than Death and starts blasting Franks again)**

The Franks that she shoots turn into six foot tall purple dinosaurs. That's right, the fate worse than death... they've turned into Barneys!

However, one Frank manages to activate his force field in time. The `Fate Worse Than Death' beam returns to the rifle, and turns it into an annoying talking bomb!

Enesku tears off the Frankshirt she had been given, revealing the armor she usually wears. She raises her spear, swirls her lasso, and runs into the fray.

Twelve Franks pull as many cannons out of the fortress, and fire them all up at the Spider. Multiple cannonballs strike the ship.

(Observer wades through the sea of Franks, using his laser sword as his guide. He eventually gets close enough to reach the nearest cannon, and destroys it. After two more are also dispatched in the same fashion, a large group of Franks takes notice and begins to swarm the brown-cloaked hero. The next cannon, unfortunately, fires just as Observer begins to deconstruct it, and pretty soon another rain of Franks begins to spoil the lovely sunny day.

A slightly charred Observer lands heavily on the ground right next to Artsy. He appears slightly discomfited, although not from his recent flight.)

Oof! Hello Artsy....I was wondering, when we get out of this mess, would you like to perhaps...have dinner sometime?

(A crowd of angry Franks seizes Observer and carries him off before Artsy can answer.)

alt-Furby giggles and writes a few lines onto a piece of paper. He puts it into Luggage who starts to spill a cloud of leaflets a few seconds later. Some Franks are too curious and read...

Moments later they start laughing and laughing and laughing and suddenly they drop dead.

Funny, isn't it? I've translated the joke to Frankish.

Praetorius stands in his usual position, surveying the battle and launching anvils from his Frankapult. The tide has recently turned, and the LICC are now in the advantage. This makes Praetorius angry. He walks over to a console and opens a communications channel to Frank Foreman.

Get out the energy balls!

"Right away, sir!" Frank Foreman says. Within a few minutes, energy balls are handed out to all the Franks on the battlefield, one each in most cases, but several for those who have Frankapults or cannon.

Twelve angry Franks come up to Praetorius' vantage point, bringing Observer with them.

Yes! The Observer! And hardly an appropriate name. You haven't been doing much observing, have you? You've been doing most of the action. You should be renamed the meddler! Of course, I would rather you were renamed... Frank. Yes, if you could be turned, you would be a powerful ally. Soon the tide of the battle would turn. But I see you will not submit to us easily.

He reaches down to his side, and picks up a small metal cylinder, designed for both appearance and functionality. He pushes in a button, and a long red blade emerges.

Surprised? No, I am not a Sith. We got the plans for a lightsaber once your apprentice Insane was brought into our collective. This is the only one ever made or used by us..

Observer activates his own weapon, and they duel atop the fortress.

Quick, get me the video of LICC vs. Franks!

Well, I've worn the name so long, I've rather gotten used to it.

ZZZ-Wap! CRASH!

And how about you? Don't you know that these take-over-Earth conspiracies are getting rather tired? I can think of half-a-hundred planets that would be much easier to conquer. If you like I could write you a list.

wwwwWUM KEECCHHHH!

Next time you should pick a better name, though. I imagine you must get tired of all the hot dog jokes.

SSSHHHHHH TZZKYOOwwwWUM!

Anyway, I'm getting a little tired of fighting. This is an trick I learned from an old friend, and I haven't used it for a while. Say cheese!

(Observer ripostes, parrys, thrusts, and generally fences long enough to let him reach quickly in and touch Praetorius. The second he does, the head Frank falls down unconcious, and Observer seems to change. Within a second, Observer is the spitting image of Praetorius!)

Ooh, that's murder on the facial muscles. Now I know why I never do this. Let's go see what havoc Frank Praetorius can wreak.

(The newly disguised Observer strides off toward the cannon crews.)

Tacoman looks at the sensors
Captain Tacoman to attack team, there appears to be a device inside the nonfinished fortress... it seems to be the thing that's been turning Earth into a Frankish paradise...
Hmm.. cannonballs.. and iron ones, too...That would be good if the O'kaks attack again.
I wonder where Commander Milkshake, Frangelica, and a few of the other regulars are during the fight...
Down in the fight, the Luggage goes back doing what it does best, namely stomping on Franks and generally being surly. It opens its lid, and a horde of small horsemen come riding out of it, followed by a penguin or two.

I'm right here, Taco, taking potshots at the Franks.

[Klassikos {who also came with them} flies out of the dropship on his winged shoes, bearing a javelin and a discus. He throws his javelin, which sticks through a Frank, and hurls his discus, which decapitates one. The discus continues to swing round until it comes into the hand of Klassikos again. He then flies low and retrieves his javelin, ready to use again.]

Donna was silently fighting until meeting up with Butrfli, and beginning to use her Elven bow, killing a number of Franks.
Now, the world will thank me for minoring in Necromancy.
Donna places a black robe on herself, and pulls out a staff. She begans chanting and the Sky darkens and turns back

Come those from H.F.I.L. Take up the bodies of the dead, leave their flesh and fight. RISE! RISE RISE!!!

The bodies of the dead shake every time Donna says "rise". After the final time the Skeleton shakes the flesh from itself, and rises. They grab the nearest Weapon

"Now, go, Destroy the Franks, DESTROY ALL FRANKS!!!"

(The Skeletons exececutes Donna's commands)

The Franks, using their energy whips and hand weapons, manage to demolish most of the skeletons.

An energy ball hits Donna, causing her to spark and crackle with energy.

One of the Franks throws a hand grenade at the ground before Artsy. It explodes and propels Artsy several meters away by way of several meters above.

Observer, in the form of Praetorius, approaches a Frank commander. The commander is fooled by the disguise at first, but then realise he doesn't emit the same inter-Frank telepathic energy the real one does. He activates his energy whip.
"Something tells me you're a fake."

Artsy's mouth drops open and she stands shocked (flushing a delighted and surprised pink) for a moment after hearing Observer's invitation, then takes off after his captors.

Colorful "statues" and wriggling piles of living architecture line the battlefield as the invisible force that is Artsy streaks (still clothed, of course) through the battlefield after Observer. Careful as she is not to let the Franks touch her, her own necessary contact with them is making her ring throb with light and giving her a worse headache than the one left after Butrfli's healing spell.

She pauses for a second in an open space to catch her breath and looks up to see the bulk of the Frank fortress looming far too close for comfort. Distracted by the sight and by worry for Observer, she doesn't notice the grenade that lands at her feet until it explodes, propelling her upwards.

Dazed, Artsy tries to slow her descent but cannot control which way she is falling. Something soft gives way as the artist lands, and she rolls to her feet to find herself behind one of the Frank cannons. Still dizzy, she launches herself faster than sight onto the cannon. It flashes bright purple and the ball on its way out of the muzzle is frozen in place by fast-acting glue. She rolls off the cannon, now visible and exhausted by her efforts, and falls into the grasp of what appears to be a high-ranking Frank....

Ansh hears the grenade explosion as she is hacking Franks with her lightsaber. She sees Artsy getting captured by the Frank.
I'm coming Artsy!
She starts running in the direction of the fortress

Kiehart still holds his sword, tightly since his sheathe for it was torn up during his fight. The now shirtless Kiehart runs at full speed towards the Frnak that has grabbed Artsy. With a sharp jab, his sword slides through the Frank's side and the two go to the ground. Artsy stands up, her knees slightlys haky, but she recovers quickly. Kiehart stands up and removes his sword from the Frank. "You okay?"

Kiehart, um, are you capable of reading between lines?

Butrfli looks over at Donna
That was quite impressive, actually.
Now, watch this...
Butrfli begins chanting, and a large ball of snow decends from the sky, covering a large number of Franks and freezing them. Next, comes a small earthquake right under another group of Franks, causing the ground to swallow them. She begins her next chant when she hears the grenade explode, and Ansh yell, causing her to look in that direction
Artsy! I'm coming too!
With that, Butrfli unfolds her wings and speeds her way to where Artsy is lying. When she lands, she flaps her wings, causing a wind that blows many of the Franks and several of the cannons over.
Havn't done that since one of my first away missions...

(Observer, having quickly dispatched the Frank commander, rushes to Artsy's aid, only to find out that help has already arrived.)

My trick doesn't seem to work very well, maybe I should have taken the cloak off. Thanks for getting here so quickly to help, Kiehart and Butrfli.

Wait a minute, I have a wonderful Grinchy idea. Here's the plan...

(Within minutes, Observer {still in the guise of Frank Praetorius}, rushes the three heroes {Artsy, Kiehart and Butrfli} he has just "captured" deep into the fortress, passing any high-ranking Franks before they can detect the subterfuge.)

Now, Artsy and Butrfli, if you can lend me your magical assistance, and Kiehart, if you will create a diversion, I think we can provide a performance that will bring the house down! Shall we begin?

(Observer begins releasing invisible waves of pure force from his outstretched hands, straight towards the main structural points of the Frankfortress. The walls begin to crumble...)

Good. I recommend that you find someplace safe to hide, since others will not be so eager to leave you alive.

Adon took off into the air, the backlash from his take off sent the franks flying though the air. Meanwhile, the Frankapult is still sending sending various objects into the battle. The Frank operating it looked up at saw a streak of golden light quickly decending from the sky. The bolt hit the catapult, completely destroying. Adon was standing in the ruins of the cataput, and turned towards the Frank manning the controls.

You're not the frank I want.

The frank attacked, but was quickly dispatched. Adon entered the fortress.

Kiehart smiles. "Diversions are what I'm good at.: He runs down a hall shouting at the top of his lungs, "Who wants tickets to a Molly hatchet reunion show?" over and over. A large number of Franks start chasing him, headed away from Observer, Artsy, and Butrfli.

Adon runs down a spiral staircase and comes face to face with Frank Praetorius, now fully conscious.

Well, well, Adon the Wanderer. You have sucessfully managed to kill many of the Elite Franks, but here is one who will prove too elite even for you.

He whips up his lightsaber and it cracks to life.

Oh, yes, I forgot, you don't have anything of the kind. How utterly inconsiderate of me. I suppose I have to use the armaments nature gave me.

He switches off his lightsaber and clips it back to his belt. Then he just runs at Adon, using his fists, knees and feet to deliver multiple punches all over Adon's body. He grabs Adon's shoulders and rams him into the wall. They start to wrestle with one another, both it seems equally matched.

Hey, I didn't mind that there wasn't room on the ship. heh, heh.

Several Franks fire energy cannons at Rikard. Luckily, he has his sword (not his saber) out, doing a quick swipe at the incoming balls of energy. The energy spheres are deflected back at the Franks. Other Franks, seeing that their cannons are useless, take out their own swords and rush Rikard.

Well, I guess it's time to use this.

He opens his belt and out pops a miniature shield. Setting his small shrinking device to reverse, the shield grows to its normal size. He charges, running through the small crowd of attacking Franks, many fall, but Rikard's quick take downs are finally slowed, as for Franks attack at once. Despite the odds, Rikard quickly unarms the four of them. The rest of the Franks drop their swords, parting for one in particular. He has his sword down and slowly approaches Rikard.

Frank Swordsman: You know, I've always wanted to kill one of you heroes. One of you LICC.
Rikard: Yeah well, I guess you can always try. Even though there is no try-
The swordsman smiles and quickly attacks, cutting Rikard off in mid-sentence. His attacks are quick and furious. Rikard can defend, not attack. At that point, out of the corner of his eye, Rikard notices an explosion very close to Artsy and sees the artist go flying. He gasps. Then remembers he's still fighting, blocking another sword attack, but getting punched in the process. Punched very hard. He falls to the ground. As the Frank is about to make the kill, Rikard takes his legs out from under him and jumps up, looking for Artsy. He sees Ansh running to the fortress. Alone. He shakes his head.

"Kids."

He takes off after her, the swordsman in pursuit.

After the smoke clears, Donna is seen holding the energy blast, keeping it at bay with her bare hands, a trick she learned on Bejiita*. She manages to deflect it after several minents. She sees the skeletons she conjured up being destroyed. She sees no one

"Blast, that last spell used up my mana. I can no longer cast spells." Far too tired, Use potion of healing. All right Much better.

Donna sees the corpses of Ensigns Hastodie and Hellbound, and the ashes of Ensign Drake.
"Arise! Back to life" All three get up
"Ok, let's finish off these Franks"

Adon and Praetorius were locked in combat. Adon was being forced back towards the spiral steps.

You are stronger than you look. Although you should have kept the lightsabre.

Adon fell backwards, taking Praetorius with him. Instead of landing on his back, they continued flipping over. They landed with Praetorius paying on his back, on top of the stairs. Then they slid, feet first, up the stairs with Adon holding Praetorius on the surface of the rough stone steps.

They reached the top of the tower, Adon let go. Praetorius continued sliding across the roof. Adon flipped over in mid-air and landed with his back in Praetorius's direction. He turned around and drew his sword in one smooth move.

I guess it's time for you to leave.

Adon jumped into the air and came down for the final blow...

...whereupon Praetorius dealt Adon a swift uppercut which knocked him back down.

Not quite time to leave yet.

Adon gets up and fires an energy ball at Praetorius, who Xes together the force-fielders. The energy ball hits Adon, and knocks him from the top of the fortress, back into the battle below. He runs to the top of the staircase, ready to follow, when suddenly, he feels the floor begin to shake below him, and some bits of stone start coming down...

Lt PD Insane runs through the battlefield, slaying Franks and fighting brief duels with those carrying energy whips. He runs up to the fortress, and runs in through one of the doors.
__

Frank Praetorius runs down a spiral staircase, the walls crumbling around him. He falls through one stair which had collapsed, and lands on the next spiral. There he meets PD Insane running up.

They both whip out their lightsabers and start duelling wildly. In the middle ages, the spiral staircases on castles were always designed to give the swordsman facing downward the advantage. This fortress was built no differently. Stones from the walls fall in on them, and stairs break away from under them.

We're fighting in a collapsing structure!

"Yes, invigorating, isn't it?"

A stone stair falls from above, landing in between them. Praetorius leaps over it, Insane waiting at the ready for him. They continue to fence, walking their way down the stairs, Insane backwards, Praetorius forwards. More stones fall from the ceiling, some hitting each of the combatants.

PD Insane, confused by the collapsing of the place, searches through the force. He can detect Observer on a lower level. He smiles, much to Praetorius' surprise, and send him a force-message.

Don't come to help me, Observer. I can handle it on my own. You're needed in other fields.

He gets a return message, no specific words, but a general feeling of "I understand".

Suddenly, Rocket Ranger smiles underneath his helmet, then activates his helmet's comm-system.

Okay, Wayne, its time. Send them in.

He pauses and looks at the Franks, then yells...

Surrender now, or face your DOOM!

As he forms a double-bladed lightsaber in his right hand and points toward the Franks with his left, several robots, all colored black with silver accents, appear. Each is about seven feet high and humanoid shaped, except for a low, rectangular-shaped head with a teal-colored sensor. Each robot also has a gatling gun where a left hand should be, and is holding a wicked-looking, serrated sword in the right hand. Each sword looks as if it could chop a man in half with one blow.

(On comm-system to the rest of the team.)

Galactic Order Class 7 Security-Bots. Termination Without Predjudice Model. I repainted them myself.

He looks at the Franks, then at the robots, and says VERY clearly....


Robots, if the Franks don't surrender and drop their weapons in approximately ten seconds.... MASSACRE THEM!

One....

Two....

Three....

Four....

Five....

Six....

Seven....

Eight....

Nine....

In the collapsing fortress, Butrfli is chanting a spell to help reduce it to rubble. At one point, she misspeaks.
Hmm.. I wonder what the effect of that will be..
Soon enough, the effect is known, as a variety of pies, small cows, and oddly enough, fish fall from the sky, splattering the Franks.
Hmm.. I should remember that one...

Donna rushes up to the frankification. She senses Insane inside
"Hmm, is this a Final Fantasy moment, should I go save him."
At that moment Donna is struck by a hammer. She is knocked out.

Kiehart turns on the chasing Franks without warning, cutting them down quickly in the confusion. One Frank manages to retreat, but a flaling pillar crushes him. Kiehart finally notices that the fortress is collapsing. "Now how did I miss something this important?"S uddenly his dnager sense tingles, and he dives forward as a large chunk fo the wall falls. But instead of landing behind him as he expected, it landed in front, and through the hole he sees Insane fighting Frank Praetorius. With his sword grapse dfirmly in his hand, he leaps down into the fray. "Oh man," he mubles excitedly, "I can almost hear the John Williams music."

Donna falls forward, but her breasts acting like rubber balls bounce her back up, ramming her head into the hammer-weilding Frank who knocked her out.

Never in all my years have I seen such an amazing play. A KO-ed fighter KO-ing their opponent. Truely an amazing accomplishment.

All right, the place is starting to go. I think we should get some of the slower team members out of the building now, before the sky falls in.

(Observer sends a warning message to all Leaguers nearby, warning of the fortress' imminent collapse)

Ok people, you heard what the man said, let's get out of here!
Butrfli unfolds her wings, grabs Artsy, and flys out of the building. Meanwhile, a group of Franks have surrounded the Luggage, and manage to get it onto a frankapult. The device is activated, and the Luggage begins flying through the air, toward our heros. Midway, the black box on the Luggage begins glowing and the Luggage disappears with a "pop" of inrushing air. When it returns from whence it came, the wizards will have some interesting things to examine.
In another area of the fight, a Frank leans over and turns off his music player, which is currently showcasing the music of John Williams
Sorry about that...

Donna's headbut proved no match for the Frank Enemy of the World, Frankor Called Frankoth
You are no match for the hammer of the Frank Dark Lord.
With blinding speed he dashes up to the battle with Kiehart, Praetorios and Insane. Like a baseball bat, he takes a swing at Kiehart...
Okay, I would use this as a chance to have Kiehart and Insane knocked out of the tower. Then, have the two warrior Franks merge into one. Then have a final showdown after the tower collaspes

Kiehart and Frankgroth having begun their own seperate fight, Peter D. Insane and Frank Praetorius have been battling now for two hours and show no signs of stopping. They are now down in the foundations of the fortress, running down planks and leaping between levels. Pieces of mortarwork fall around them from the collapsing structure above. One of them hits Insane in the head, causing him to fall off the platform. He falls down several levels, to almost the very lowest point of the foundation, when he catches hold of another platform. He lets go with one hand to grab his lightsaber. Having secured that, he leaps up with full force, all the way back up again, kicking Praetorius in the head.

The Force of all the jedi past flows through me. If you do not surrender, I may be forced to do something I don't want to.

"You need to work on those threatening lines, Petey-boy. Or do you intend to defeat your enemies by making them rock in fits of laughter?"

Praetorius gets up again, and punches Insane in the face. But Insane dodges, and does a cartwheel to the side. Praetorius pulls out his energy whip, and ties Insane up in it. He then slashes it around as droids walk by, ramming Insane into the droids and against the wall. Insane can feel the droids explode behind him, and parts of them continuing to cling to him.

At this rate, I'm going to need an eyepatch and a wooden leg like Cutthrroat Jimlad.

Continually Praetorius nauseates the young jedi by throwing him around at dizzying speeds, repeatedly smashing him into droids and consoles. Eventually, after what seems like half a day, but is only a few minutes, the whip has come undone, and Insane lies, gasping, face down on the floor, his face and back marked with scars and covered in blackened droid scars.

Thousands of droids, armed with pickaxes, leap out of the foundations and hack at Rocket Ranger's droids. Both sets are too occupied with one another to bother about anyone else.

Adon stops his fall in mid-air and reverses direction, flying back towards the top of the tower. He lands on the roof and looks around. Praetorius is no where to be seen, but lots of Franks are. And more are coming up the stairs.

I have no time for this.

Adon fires an energy beam. The lead frank uses one of those X devices to send the beam back towards Adon. However, the beam makes a beutiful arc past Adon and back towards the Frank, sending him flying. The beam continues its way down the spiral steps, knocking franks off and making a clear path for Adon to head down.

Excuse me, but I still want to play with Praetorius. I'm sure you all understand.

The franks groan in reply.

Adon makes it down to the lowest part of the tower just in time to see Lt. Insane hit the floor. Adon leaps at Praetorius, who brings the lightsabre up to block. Adon's sword connects with the lightsabre's blade and knocks it flying out of Praetorius's grip, much to Praetorius's supprise, without damaging the blade.

I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were occupied. I could come back later.

Praetorius makes a surprising move with his lightsaber. He stabs it straight into Insane's hand... or so it appears. But his true intent is all too apparent when Insane realsies the damage done to his lightsaber. It emits a dangerous humming noise, which freezes Insane's thoughts. Before he has time to throw away, or even think to throw it away, it explodes in his hand. Most of his right arm comes off. Insane looks aghast, but he just leaps at Praetorius tooth-and-claw, kicking at him, and finally managing to wrench Praetorius' lightsaber out of his hand. He doesn't get it himself, however, it falls from them both. But the effort has been too much for him. He slides down Praetorius' front and collapses to the floor, barely conscious. Praetorius gives him a small kcik in the side for good measure.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more enemies to deal with.

He runs back up through the foundations to the ground above. He sees that the fortress has collapsed, most of it having landed in the foundations, but some rubble scattered around the area.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Out of the corner of his eye, he glimpses the fight between Kiehart and Frankgroth, and runs to join in.

The two Frank warriors will not merge.

Wait, I didn't mean everyone...

Well, I can probably take care of this on my own, it'll just be a bit more tricky. Now, let's rock and roll.

(Observer stops shaking the building in favor of a quicker method. He begins thrusting his fist forward at different walls and butresses, which promptly crack and fall completely apart. The fortress rumbles, not with the sounds of progressive structural damage, but with the hideous noise of walls and floors collapsing..)

I strike again! Muahhahahhaha!

(From the viewpoint of the heroes gathered outside, the fortress abruptly collapses in on itself, raising a huge cloud of dust and disintegrated rock. The debris has already begun to settle by the time Praetorius rushes aboveground..)

Butrfli looks at where the fortress was.
Did everyone get out?

Enesku, looking rather battered herself, and with her costume torn in places, runs up to Butrfli.

There's someone down there.

She runs to the edge of the foundation pit, and sees Insane.

It's Insane.

She jumps down to the highest platform, and runs down to where he is. Or at least, most of him is. She puts her arms around him and lifts him up.

Hey, you OK?

Insane groans, and Enesku holds his head against her.

Kiehart swings his word down ahrd on Frankgroth, gashing his arm. The Frnak kicks Kiehart, a powerful kick that sends Kiehart tumbling over the same beam that insane fell off of moments earlier. Kiehart mangages to grab hold on one below by bringing down his sword. It drives through the wood. It cracks slightly when Kiehart's decent stops.. He feels the sword begin to bend. ""Dammit! I thought the magic in this thing would protect it, but I guess even the best enchantments have their limitations." He cheks his gun. Although it has suficently cooled down, the dents prevent him from changing the setting from potato pellets to anything useful. Frankgroth leaps down onto the beam right near Kiehart. Kiehart yanks his sword out and waves it at the Frank.

Suddenly there is a series of explosions near where Kiehart and Frankgroth are fighting. The explosions cause the ground to shake, and a chain reaction causes several windows to shatter, sending glass shards flying through the air!

I wahve ma ssword at yeauh!

A nearby noise makes all the combatents turn their heads. The Spidership has landed in a nearby empty space, and Captain Tacoman beams into the fray. He activates his exosuit and begins fighting Franks.
Ha! He! Parry! Thrust!
How's everybody doing?
Butrfli: Things seem to be under control... Insane just emerged from the fortress wreckage...
Tacoman: Commander Milkshake, should we reduced this rubble to a big hole in the ground?

First we'd better find out if everyone got out safely, Cap.

Frankgroth and Kiehart manage to kepe their footing and continue fighting despite the shaking round them. "Man, I don't what I did to make you hate me, but no other Frank ever put up aifhgt like you," Kiehart grunts. he delivers a punch to Frankgroth's solar plexus, and rolls back to catch his own breath. "Course that's not saying much, You Franks are basically wimps anyway."

Artsy, numb from the rapid pace of events and starting to get a little tired from continued use of her abilities, peers past Butrfli towards the rubble of the Frank fortress. "There's still a lot of Franks between the fortress and the ship. Maybe I should go clear the way for any of our people that are still inside." She glances around at the others, at least the ones she can see, and flushes dull blue with concern. "Hey, did Observer get out? And where's Adon?"

No one nearby seems to know. After getting a couple of negative answers, Artsy turns back to the battlefield, shaking her head, and runs into the midst of the remaining Franks, clearing a rapid path towards the fortress once more....

Insane and Enesku emerge from the wreckage, their arms around each other (well, Insane's arm, Enesku's arms. They collapse together, and it almost appears that Enesku actually kisses Insane... or maybe it's just an accident due to the fact they are so close together...

Suddenly Leonard Rosenman's score for the animated Lord of the Rings movie plays in the background as The Great Emancipator runs into battle, weilding in one hand the Flaming Torch of the Statue of Liberty and in the other the Axe Of George Washington!

(close up on a Frank)
The Frank yells, and falls over the camera, blood spraying behind.

(shot of TGE)
The Great Emancipator swings the axe once more.

(close-up on Frank Praetorius)
Praetorius yells, and falls over the camera, blood spraying behind. He is dead as a doornail.

TGE throws the axe into the air. The camera follows it.

Butrfli sees Insane and Enesku emerge from the wreckage and goes to help. With a wave of his hand, Insane indicates he doesn't want that help. In another part of the field, Tacoman scans the wreckage for any signs of Observer and Adon. He gives up and goes for the old fashioned way
Observer! Adon! Can you hear me? It's Tacoman!

(A huge stone block is pushed over, revealing a very small alcove half-buried in the rubble. Two very dusty and tired figures step out, each supporting the other, and begin slowly walking out of the debris field. When they get close enough, it's apparent to the team that Adon and Observer, despite quite a lot of dirt, bruises, and cuts, are still with them. Observer puts one hand to his mouth and calls on ahead.)

We're here, we're fine! Captain, may I be the first to suggest...

(Observer has a slight coughing fit, but recovers as Artsy reaches the pair)

...may I suggest...a vacation?

[as Praetorius falls, the dice rolls out from his pocket. Klassikos picks it up, looks at it, then gazes skyward. An owl flies down, even though it is broad daylight. Klassikos smiles. It is the owl of Athene.]

Then this is it...?

[The owl seems to nod. Klassikos rolls it around in his hand.]

What is it?

[He hears the voice of Athene: "A reality-altering dice."]

Of course... dice are said to have been invented during the siege of Troy as something to occupy the soldiers with... so this die alters reality... how so?

["It does not change what is, but it affects what will be."]

I suppose if I roll a six, I get the most of what I want, if I roll a one, I get the most of what I don't want? I don't see what I could use this for... [he looks around, and sees Insane lying on the ground next to Enesku. He remembers what Insane did before leaving, and rolls the die. It lands on a five.]

Close enough, I suppose.

Tacoman looks around at the field of battle and gazes at the faces of his tired crew.
Observer, that sounds like a great idea. It looks like the battle is for the most part over, except for a few small pockets...

"Commander, I've received a message!" says a communications yellowshirt

Milkshake: Put it through!

"This is Captain Fitzpatrick of the Horatio Nelson. We were surveying an old ship, and guess what we found? The body of PD Insane! You know, the one you sent the message saying we should look for!"

Milkshake: But I didn't send...

"Must have been the Captain, then. But we're bringing it over!"

Kiehart and Frankgroth are still fighting. The two combatants don't seem to notice that a slight remnent of of a support beam is all that's keeping th entire weight of the ruined fortress from crashing down on them. Kiehart takes a desperate berserker swing at Frnakgroth. It all seems to happen in slow motion. Frankgroth ducks, and Kiehart trips over him. The sword hits the ground point first, and breaks! Kiehart is too shocked to notice that Frankgroth is coming up from beind, ready to slam a steel bar right through Kiehart. Kiehart feels a painful pitch the bar bends against his back. Frankgroth steps back amazed. Kiehart himself had forgotten about his powers in the heat of the moment. Suddenly, a loud crack, and the whole place went straight to hell.

-

The other LICC members jump back as the remains of the fortress fall to the ground, the Franks in massive retreat. "Hey," someone asks, "Where's Jason?"

Neither of us, will survive.
Seeing the wrecked building, Frankoth wraps his arms around Kiehart. The iron gripe cannot be broken. The tower collaspes around them...

Youi fail to use me, once again.

Moments earlier...

Rikard catches up with Ansh in the lower levels of the fortress. He grabs her arm.

Ansh, wait! Artsy's fine, Butrfli just flew her out of here. Now let's-
As Rikard talks, Ansh's eyes widen, focusing on something behind him. It's then he remembers...

Watch out! she yells

Rikard goes down, taking Ansh with him as the Frank swordsman tries to take out Rikard's head. Rikard rolls and jumps up as the swordsman attacks, quickly than before. The two swords meet, moving with such speed Ansh can hardly follow. Then the fortress begins to shake. Rikard realizes what's happening and momentarily is distracted, getting kicked in the legs in the process. He falls to the ground, rolling as the swordsman tries to take his last stab. Rikard rolls away and stands up next to Ansh, her lightsaber ready. He activates his own.

Ansh, get out of here now before this place-

Just then it does. The rubble falling down onto the three combatants. Then it stops. Rikard's holding it up, for the moment.

Let's go!

The run, searching for an exit. The swordsman is nowhere in sight.Every time, just as the rubble is about to land on the two, it stops, then dropping after the two are able to get away. Rikard is beginning to feel tired from all of the concentrating he's doing. So he's unprepared when the ground collapses beneath them, dropping them 25 feet into a small underground chamber. Rikard lands down on his stomach. He coughs a few times before looking up. The top is blocked by rubble. Ansh lies, apparently unconcious, a few feet away. A little light gets into the room. He can see it appears to be a small cave under the fortress and he sees an exit that leads to the surface. He picks Ansh up and begins to head out. Suddenly a Frank leaps from the darkness. It's the swordsman. Rikard puts Ansh down, pulls his own sword, and activates his lightsaber. The Frank lunges. Their swords meet.

Just then the swordsman collapses, TGE's axe in his back.

"There, that's the last of them. And the fortress is well and truly destroyed now."

Rikard, Ansh and The Great Emancipator come out from the underground caverns.

"Of course, the Frankergy will remain in amny people for a while, but it should wear off before long. Besides, they may have been turned into Light Franks instead."

He spots Insane and Enesku lying on the ground.

"Josh, help me take him back to your ship."