Phew! Getting cramped in there!

No sooner does Jadlad gets his station fixed than part of it blows up.

Well that's just great! I fix one thing on this and another part breaks down.

Kiehart finally calms down. Tacoman walks up to him. "Jason, that seems like an awful lot of anger over a sword." "Not just a sword! It was magically enhanced. It was suppsoed to be able to withstand almsot as much punishment as me. Not only was it broken, I nearly died when that fortress collapsed on me Captain! How do you THINK I'm gonna feel?" He storms off towards the shuttle.

Zo, Mr. Kiehart, haz ze loss of thees 'sword' left you with feelings of innadaquecy? Do you feel less of a man, unable to perform?

Artsy, I have the strange feeling that the mental command that was given may be temporary...
Strange... the last thing I remember clearly too is getting a drink from those guys who showed up with the lemonades when we got off the shuttle...
after that, it felt like I was dreaming.
Butrfli: Yeah, I felt the same thing...
Tacoman: Poor Kiehart. I hope things get better for him.
Artsy, as for the time...
Tacoman shows her his watch

18:56

(Observer, dressed in a handsome suit with a bouquet of brightly colored flowers in hand, leaves his quarters and enters the turbolift, heading straight for Artsy's quarters...)

Oops, excuse me.

(a worker hustles past Artsy, Ansh, Butrfli and Tacoman, carrying a sign. As he places it over a mauve and pink booth, the heroes can clearly read it.)

HI-SPEED LONG-RANGE RETURN TRANSPORTER
50 Credits

By Tacomans Watch on Monday, January 28, 2002 - 09:43 am:
18:56

Looks to me like Tacoman's watch is off by quite a few hours...

It's not like LICC time corresponds to Real Life time. We don't expect watches on TV shows to display OUR time..

Hmmmm... Has *ANYONE* in the LICC filed their tax returns for 2999, 3000, or 3001?

This could be fun!

18:56 ship time. 13:43 DinseyPlanet time. I assume you wanted ship time though

18:56

The numbers blink vividly in Artsy's mind, spelling out an image in her head, of showing up late and dishevelled for her first date with Observer...!

Frantically she glances around, long hair flying from pale blue to hot pink--and with a sigh of relief spots the booth labeled: HI-SPEED LONG-RANGE RETURN TRANSPORTER. Artsy wheels away from the group and darts towards it, just slow enough so she can still speak. "Ansh, watch out for Quito! Have fun, you guys."

She fumbles in her satchel...then the transporter is activated with the coordinates of her room aboard the Spidership. She appears there just long enough to orient herself, and vanishes again in a burst of speed.

When the door chimes she reappears, looking fairly satisfied. Her hair is up in an intricate knot on the back of her head, held by a silver net, and the delicate, sleeveless dress she is wearing in place of her usual tunic and leggings, bears matching metallic accents at the throat and hem. The color keeps shifting, to her annoyance, but the faint reddish purple it seems to settle into will do well enough.

"Come in," Artsy calls, still a bit breathless. The door slides open....

(...revealing Observer, smiling but appearing the slightest bit nervous.)

Good evening Artsy, you're looking quite lovely this evening.

(Before Artsy can continue, he offers the bouquet of flowers in his arms. The blossoms are very exotic, a cross between very long tulips and bluebells. They are reddish-purple, the exact colour of Artsy's dress.)

I thought after dinner and the museum you might like to take in the opera,

(With his other hand, Observer holds two glossy, veridian-coloured tickets.)

...a performance I haven't had the chance to see yet, Kaxtk'l's "Xxtl'k tragedia e gioia rxk", at the Emerald Falls Auditorium. If you don't care for opera we can certainly go somewhere else...

(The auxiliary craft come alongside the Ak'kroch Star Carrier. PD Insane hails them.)

This is Lieutenant Peter Dionysus... of the LICC. We understand you may have something aboard your ship we need.

Tacoman: Well, I hope that they have a good time.
So, where to now? Day Before YesterdayLand?
Butrfli: How about the Exotic Animal Park? According to the brochures, hundreds of species from around the galaxy can be found there...
Tacoman: Sounds like fun. Ansh, care to join us?
Butrfli: There's one place I would like to visit before we head there... the first aid station. I want to get a hold of a tricorder to see what came over us...
Tacoman: You don't carry a tricorder with you? You are the Doctor's assistant...
Butrfli: Jackson, I'm here to have fun, and wasn't anticipating this slight medical emergency...
Tacoman: Oh...

Generic Evil Villain and his Generic Evil Henchman brought a U-Warp over and picked up the Cosmic Harpsichord. Now they're bringing into their Generic Evil Hideout.

Oof! Curses! Next time we need to use the Generic Evil Movers! I'll show them!

Generic Evil Henchman, out of G.E.V.'s sight, just shakes his head sadly.

They finally get the Harpsichord set up in the Generic Evil Hideout.

At last! The Cosmic Harpsichord. OK, so it isn't the Cosmic Piano, but at least I can practice on the Cosmic Symphony, and I'll be able to be ready when I get my hands on the Cosmic Piano! Then I'll show them!! I'LL SHOW THEM ALL! THEY WILL PAY!!!

A small redshirt traveling with Insane speaks up.
Maybe we can get a hold of the Cosmic accordian, Cosmic Bagpipes, or Cosmic Kazoo...
With that, the tiny redshirt falls into the the ship's controls. He grabs a pair of handy wires, but is electrocuted.

Artsy smiles, most of her apprehension vanishing in the face of Observer's gallantry. "Thank you, Observer. These are beautiful." She moves across the room to a vase that had been full of paper flowers and replaces them with the exotic blooms. Then she takes Observer's arm. "And the opera sounds wonderful. I haven't had the chance to attend many such performances, but from what I've heard I think I'd like it."

Whispering

With the crew partially acting like kids don't you think it's time for us to restart our holo-TV program?

They are looking into the old photo album: A smiling black hole in the heaven, gynoids with bunny ears on a pinkish meadow and a nuclear-powered subspace cleaner...

I'm so glad you brought me to Gamblingland, Ensign Who. Now I'll get to see this year's Derby Formerly Known As Kentucky up close.

So, Ensigns Who & First are spending A Day At The Races, while Artsy & the Observer are spending A Night At The Opera.

Suddenly at DinseyPlanet, a food fight breaks out!

DUCK! SOUP!

Unfortunately, he doesn't duck fast enough, and gets hit with some tomato-basil soup. He suffers an allergic reaction to the basil, and dies of anaphylactic shock.

(The GEV sits down at his harpsicord, and the GEH puts the musical score in its stand)

Shall I accompany you as you practise, boss?

Ansh, Tacoman, and Butrfli stop at the main first aid station, and Butrfli asks to use a tricorder. When asked on who's authority, She says she's the Doctor's assistant on the Spidership, causing the medical staff to look at her with new appreciation. Butrfli receives a tricorder and scans her group.
Well, Jackson and I seem to be infected by some sort of synthetic virus... it looks like the same type as that Ebonics Virus we got last year...Ansh, did you drink any of the lemonade we were offered when we first got here?

All right, shall we go?

Now, I must warn you, Artsy, we are going to be traveling across time and space, and it can be very disorienting the first time. If you feel uncomfortable at all, please let me know. Ready?

(Artsy nods, and Observer closes his eyes. The ship fades around them, replaced by a glowing void of unfathomable depths. Within the void, shadows of worlds, beings, celestial phenomena, and spirits appear and just as quickly fade, transient as smoke. Then comes a flash, and then...

The first thing that strikes their eyes is a shimmering, glittering brilliance, the colour of a deep, well-watered forest. It is easy to see why Emerald Falls has its name, for what immediately captures the eye is a tall, strong waterfall cascading from the high ridge of stone that surrounds the city. The tan-orange, flora-covered hills are beautiful to behold, and the brilliance of the falls is explained by the massive exposed face of pure emerald behind the falls, polished by the surging water for untold millennia. The buildings are all made out of some alien, cream-colored stone, and graceful spires rise from the valley floor, laid out on either side of the river at the base of the great fall. The city and its surroundings are unspeakably lovely, with not a hint of dirt, pollution or ugliness anywhere in the crystal blue skies, long shaded terraces, or wonderfully clean river.

Artsy and Observer have materialized on a small hill on the borders of the city, from which a gentle stone path winds down into the heart of the settlement. Several of the native life-forms occupy the vantage point as well, but they betray not a hint of surprise at the two heroes' sudden appearance. The tall, yellow-skinned and willowy beings simply smile benevolently at the pair. One native sits cross-legged on a patch of grass, skillfully painting a landscape of the city on a slab of crystal. Observer smiles and breathes deeply.)

Ah. I love coming here. Well, we made it, several centuries and thousands of light-years away. Shall we head down into the city?

Hey, boss! No member of the LICC has paid taxes in the past three years! I bet we could soak 'em big, and the publicity would be awesome! If the peepuls see that we can take even the LICC, then they'll cough up their taxes, no problem!

Hangs up phone...

Let's see... Here's a return from an Evil Executive... yep, looks auditable to me... oh wait, there's a $10Million check attached, payable to cash... I guess we don't need to audit those $10Billion in deductions...

To heck with it. I'll let a repair crew handle it.

=/\=Jadlad to engineering. I need a repair crew to fix the Pseudoscience station. And tell them to be careful. We wouldn't want to turn the ship inside out or something.=/\=

For a long minute Artsy doesn't answer, so absorbed is she in the natural beauty of this place. Her dress has reverted to white, with only occasional flickers of gold or silvery-blue dancing through it and lighting up her pale eyes. Observer simply waits, understanding her silence.

Finally Artsy closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and lets it out in a satisfied sigh. "Thank you." Her voice is almost a whisper, but she raises it as she opens her eyes and turns to smile at Observer. "The city? Yes, let's go. Not too fast, though, okay? I don't want to miss anything."

Arm in arm they move down the path....

The Ak'kroch are not answering our calls. Maybe they will react to our singing?

I'm assuming the Ensigns Who, What, and Idontknow all work different shifts.

So what's the guy's name on the first shift?

We're receiving a message from the Ak'kroch. Audio only.

The ensign plays the message.

Begone from our space, smoothskins, or we will be forced to annihilate you.

(Observer and Artsy talk as they walk along)

This is really the closest place to utopia I have ever found. This race, the Siblings of Life as they call themselves, originated with a great sense of empathy and compassion, and warm fellow-feeling seems to be universal among their kind. I have never seen a Sibling speak a word in anger, get into a fight, or even become irritated. They have no need for laws, or even anything beyond the simplest form of government. If one person becomes sick, destitute, or helpless, they are immediately assisted by the entire community. It's just a way of life for them, they do it without thinking.

(Observer can't help but smile and wave at the Siblings they pass, who immediately return the greeting.)

It's amazing, because the energies that other races devote to hate and warfare, these people put into their art. Sculpture, painting, even alien forms of art, they embrace it all. Races of all sorts come here to learn how to express themselves artistically, and they even show the Siblings a trick or two. It was such a shame...

(Observer breaks off, and stares down toward the end of the plaza)

Yes, I can almost see the dining center from here. Isn't this place beautiful?

(thinking) Annihilate us? They'll annihilate more than that if they don't let us have the score.

(aloud) We must beam aboard to search for the... thing. It is a dangerous object and more powerful than you can comprehend. We will not damage your ship unless you resist.

There is a long pause. Finally, the Ak'kroch respond....with a barrage of Quantum Torpedoes!

Oh, no, where is QM when you need him?

(He turns a dial which raises shields to maximum. Then he types something into a keyboard and a joystick emerges from the console. On the front of the ship, a hatch slides away and a phaser cannon sticks its head out. With one hand on the stick and the other hand on the steering controls, he dodges the torpedoes and launches phasers on the Ak'kroch ship. He looks up and sees Robot Redshirt grasping on to the top of his ship. After a while he hits the communication switch and hails the rest of the team)

We're going to have to board them! Everyone aim for cargo or shuttle bays and we can fly in there! We must get that score!

Tacoman picks up a hypospray and shows it to Butrfli. By now, both have strange looks on the faces, as if the virus is reasserting itself.
Hey, Beatle, what's this?
Butrfli: I'll show you.
Butrfli takes the spray from Tacoman, sets it to spray, and sprays Tacoman. Unfortunatly, it also reaches Butrfli, and both collapse and begin gently snoring. A nurse rushes by, picks up the hypospray, looks at it, and turns to another nurse
Why do we have Anestastine just sitting around here? It looks like they'll be sleeping for a while... Dear, would you please help me?
The Nurse points to Ansh, and together, they place Butrfli and Tacoman onto cots.
Nurse: Maybe we can find way to get rid of that virus the young lady was talking about...

Artsy listens to the story Observer is telling, wondering briefly at the hesitant regret that lowers his voice for a moment.

"Sounds like a perfect place to live," she says, waving to a pair of sculptors working together on a single flowing gelwork. They nod back, hands busy, but then one of them slows and stop its work. The other stops as well, and they approach the couple.

One holds out a hand to Artsy and "sings" something in a delicate, sibilant language. Without thinking, Artsy offers the same hand she waved with, her right--and the being takes it gently, touching her ring and exclaiming softly to the other one.

Involuntarily Artsy flushes blue, trying to pull her hand away. The Siblings look up, startled, and Observer puts his hand on Artsy's shoulder. "They won't hurt you," he says. But she has already turned hot pink with embarrassment and relaxes her hand.

"Sorry. I wonder why they're so interested in it?" Something of the wonder that hit her when she first arrived crosses Artsy's face again and she looks up at Observer. "Do you speak their language? Do they recognize my ring?"

I'm afraid I can't speak it, something to do with my vocal cords, but due to their empathic powers, they can understand what we say.

(Observer turns to the Sibling pair)

Do you recognize the ring?

(They turn to each other, communicating wordlessly, then one turns back and speaks a few more phrases of their musical language. Artsy looks curiously at Observer, who frowns as he attempts to comphrehend.)

I couldn't make it all out, but I did pick up the words "very special", and the quasi-tone they used implied a discovery yet to come.

(The pair of Siblings smile and return to their sculpture.)

I'm assuming the Ensigns Who, What, and Idontknow all work different shifts.

No, Lucas, they all work the same shift.

(Lucas asks the Blueshirt his name)

Tomorrow.

Oh, no! A masked, yellow smiley face with a sword is going around slashing prices! Help! Help! Somebody please save our profits!!!

$13.87 $10.47

Boy, things are pretty quiet.

Pretty pretty quiet.

Kinda nice when this happens.

Wonder if we'll get into more adventure soon.

Yeah, I'm sure of it.

Redshirt 1: It's quiet.

Redshirt 2: Yeah. Too quiet.

At that exact moment, a plasma relay momentarily ruptures, frying them both.

(Meanwhile, in a part of the galaxy where the adventure is going, PD Insane and his "team" fly towards the Ak'kroch Star Carrier with phasers a-blazing. They head straight for the doors of the cargo bay and blast a large hole in them. Then they all fly through the hole.)

YEEEEEEE-HA!

(PD Insane tries spinning for effect, then releases the legs of his ship, which unfold and land on the deck, putting the ship into walker mode. Now, using the phaser cannon and grappling arms, PD Insane uses his walker to break off a sheet of metal from another, interior wall, and ram it up against the hole once all the ships are in. He lowers the legs down again so the main part of the ship is closer to the ground. Then he lifts up the hemispherical window/hatch above him and leaps out. All the others come out of their ships, upon seeing that the air is safe)

Let's hunt some Cosmic Symphony!

Watch out!

(Robot Redshirt uses his body to block a volley of bows fired from fiddle strings & darts propelled by people with curved horns)

They're attacking us with Sax & Violins!

(Meanwhile, on Dinsey Planet, under the surface, in the remains of Walt Wonderfulland* a hidden chamber comes to life. Out of the floor rises a frozen block of reanimatagen, it thaws to reveal the body of Walt Wonderful. He stares at the control panel which reads)

SUPERHEROES DETECTED!

(a smile crosses Walt's face)

Finally, after all this time.** Now I can proceed.

(he checks his instruments)

Yes. Despite cosmetic changes, the DinseyPeople left my animatronics in one piece. Muhahahahahahha... ack ack! *cough*

(Walt pauses to catch his breath)

There will be plenty of time for laughing once I've drained the life force of the superheroes into my own body!!!

(he pushes a button and suddenly all of his animatronics are under his command.)

Attack!!!

* DinseyPlanet bought the Walt Wonderful Corporation when they declared bankruptcy in 3000
** The Walt Wonderful plot was suggested twice on the original LICC boards

Cindergoodfella: Oh what shall I do, my sisters & evil stepmother have prevented me from going to the ball?

Fairy Godfather: Hey, youze want I should teach dem a lesson dey'd nevuh fo'get?

(suddenly the animatronics creations stop, their eyes suddenly glow red and they turn and face the audience)

Cindergoodfella: Crush! Kill! Destroy!
Fairy Godfather: Nah, let's just pump 'em full uv lead.

(the Fairy Godfather lifts up his machine gun and starts firing over the heads of the audience while Cindergoodfella starts attacking them with her broom)

Wow! So you're not just a disembodied voice?

Voice of Mackey Moose: No, my people come from a dimenzun so different that we can only manifest ourselves as sound waves in your world.

Wow! How do you get paid?

VoMM: Electronic transfers. We have an internet too. What's that sound?

(The sound of screaming and Classical music can be heard from outside. Evil runs to the door and looks out to see people being attacked by a troupe of ballet dancing Komodo Dragons from the film Dancetasia)

Leapin' lizards!

Yikes!

Milkshake suddenly stands up, knocking over his chair as well as his milkshake. Out the decorated window of the Ice Cream Parlor he can see the two animatrons going berserk.

In a second he is outside onto the 'street', facing the evil machines. One blast from his gauntlet knocks Cindergoodfella over, but the Fairy Godfather wheels around and lets loose a hail of bullets...

I think we should try to disable the baddies using our most feared weapon. Insane&Co, cover your ears. Now!

The Furbys and the Pokemon choir break into the ship's comm network and start to sing a medley of their greatest hits. Wonderful. Almost deadly.

Lord of the Hamburgers beams down, wearing ear protectors that block out the sound of the Furby & Pokemon choir. He notices Blood Red and the Seven Dorks are starting to attack a group of visitors.

Have it MY way, punks!

He generates a big, glowing burger and throws it. The burger hits and explodes, hurling radioactive meat, cheese and ketchup all over the baddies.

Hmmmmm.....guess that wasn't enough....

He generates another burger, but lets the charge build up before he throws it. When he does, it explodes with a big KABOOM!, blowing the animatronic terrors to pieces.

(In addition to the animatronics running wild, Walt had some other animatronics disguised as panicked tourists, whose true purpose was to analyze the superheroes who were fighting the rampaging animatronics. Walt studied the readings on his various consoles.)

(shots of Commander Milkshake)
Man in a suit. Worthless.

(shots of Ansh & Rikard)
Jedis? Bah, I've tried midichlorians. It won't repair my body.

(shots of Kiehart)
Hmmm, he shows a remarkable ability to heal. That would be useful. Collectors, capture this one.

(shots of Tacoman)
Immortality? Yes! Capture this one as well!

It always works. It has always worked before. But not this time...

Instead of dropping in pain the Ak'kroch storm the hangar. But wait! They don't want to fight, they want autographs from the Furbys and the Pokemons! Seems that our small heros have found new fans! Finally!

Insane's team uses the confusion to sneak unconspiciously deeper into the ship's corridors.

Kiehart isn't really into the fight. He merely swats rogue animatronic aside as he strolls towrad the hotel where he hopes to get a good nights sleep, plus acces to the Adult channels, so he can actually have a vacation as per doctor's orders.

Let's Ak'kroch and roll!

(Although Insane no longer has a lightsaber, in his previous body he had always worn his power ring on his left hand, which managed to survive. And so, when he was transferred back to this body he took the power ring and put it on his finger.)

There's the dining center right there.

(The building seems about 3 stories tall, and resembles the Hanging Gardens of Nebuchadnezzar, if the structure of the famed Babylonian wonder had been built out of emerald. Lush plants and flowers flourish everywhere. As they approach, Observer says)

Have you thought about what you'd like to order? The wonderful thing about this place is they can create, perfectly, any dish you can recall. Or they can make entirely new dishes eminently suited to the diner's individual taste. I've never had a bad meal here.

Darkness, and then a hiss. Tacoman wakes up to a view of a doctor hovering over him. when the doctor speaks, he sounds like Dr. Phlox from Enterprise.
Tacoman: Where am I? What happened?
Doctor: You and your female companion had a slight accident involving a hypospray filled with Anestastine. The staff of the first aide station you were in managed to get you to this hospital for employees and other staff. We discovered and eridicated a synthetic virus that you and the lady were harboring.
Tacoman: Thanks, doc.
Doctor: By the way, a word of warning...the animatronics that are around here are going on a killing spree... But, there is...
At that moment, a nurse appears, carrying a large axe. She swings it at the doctor, who's head flies off his body and into Tacoman's arms. Instead of blood, wires and a bit of oil appear from the neck. Tacoman turns the head around, which opens its eyes and speaks to Tacoman.
There...is...an...animatronic...rebel...group..stop...the Wonderful one...
With that, the eyes close and the body collapse s to the floor. The nurse turns to Tacoman, still with her axe raised
Nurse: And you will make a fine sample...
Tacoman, realizing that fleeing would be a good idea, grabs the hypospray the doctor was holding, rushes over to Butrfli, wakes her up, and runs out the door of the recovery room. After a few close calls, Tacoman and Butrfli are in the vast complex underneath the main DinseyPark.
Tacoman: Taxie!

Rikard is napping in DinseyPlanet's Sandman Hall. He opens his eyes to see Charlie and Chelsea Chicken standing over him, looking down at him with evil menacing expressions on their animatronic faces. Rikard stares back, a very confused and startled look on HIS face.
Uhhhhhh is all he is able to get out before the two electronic chickens pick him up and throw him against the nearest wall. The wind is knocked out of him.
Ow. he croaks before the chickens throw him across the room into another wall.
Geez, I thought this was the happiest place in the Universe.
The chickens cross the room and lift him, shoving him against the wall again.
Well, what are you going to do, peck me to death?
He laughs. Out of the dull plastic beaks of the two chickens slide two sharp metal pointed ends. Instead of dull plastic beaks, they have very sharp knifes for mouths.
I should really stop giving out ideas.

Artsy, who is starting to become a little more used to the varigated beauty that meets them at every turn in this place, bounces on her toes and laughs delightedly. "Really? That's amazing. You know, I wonder if they can make Starflowers. One of my co-workers back at the convention center told me about them. They're supposed to be, literally, culinary works of art."

They enter the building, their heads and shoulders brushed by stooping sweet-scented vines as they pass through the doorway.

Suddenly a scantily glad woman runs into Kiehart and she is being chased by the 3 Big Pigs & the Good Little Wolf.

A taxie pulls up in front of Tacoman and Butrfli. They are about to step in when Butrfli puts her hand on Tacoman's shoulder
Wait... this doesn't feel right...
And right she is. The headlights of the taxie open, revealing a pair of eyes, and the front grill suddenly developes a lot of teeth. Yes, it's a robotic taxie, part of the "Wacky Taxie Races" ride and parade float favorite. Tacoman and Butrfli rush down the corridor, looking for an exit, followed and chased by the ill-tempered taxie.

Kiehart groans and pulls out his gun. He reaches insticntively for his sword, but then remembers that it's not there anymore. He turns a dial on his gun and pulls the trigger. All the robots are cut in half by the barrage. Keihart continues for the hotel. "I hope my room comes with a hot tub. And I think I'm going to use that 'complimentary massage for super-heroes' thing I was reading about. I'll damned if a bunch of crazy robots are goign to ruin my vacation."

(Enesku is lying on the beach in a swimsuit and getting a tan when she notices something sticking out of the sea. It is grey and triangular - a shark's fin! The shark gets nearer the coast and rises up from the sea. It's clearly a mechanical shark, but it looks dangerous. Worst of all, it starts to slide along the beach, its teeth gnashing. Enesku gets up, brushes the sand off her body, and looks around to see no-one else is on the beach. The closest people are running away. She decides it's best to follow them, and flees the land-borne robotic shark.)

Ok. You're done now guys, so please get away from there.

(As the repair crew he called for earlier leaves, Jadlad calls the Captain and is quickly filled in.)

Okay. I've got an idea.

(Muttering to himself.) Turn this to 47. Set that on the Rip Cords. Put that switch on Faygo.

Done!!

(Jadlad used the Pseudoscience station to make most of the killer robots on the planet start singing surfer style songs and start heading to the oceans at Beach Land.)

Hopefully that should take care of a good deal of them.

Tacoman and Butrfli, still being chased by the taxie, search for an escape or hiding place. Luck is with them as they discover a pair of doors facing each other. As the sound of the taxie comes closer, Tacoman opens one door and the pair step inside.
Wait, I have an idea...
Tacoman removes a small module from his suit and presses a button on it. He opens the other door and throws the module inside and then closes the door.
That should throw the taxie off a little... the module will emit my suit signal and our scents so that the taxie will think we're in there.
With that, they enter the first door, which is labeled "345J." As the door closes, the camera pans upwards and focuses on the sign reading "Secret Lab #1. Tacoman and Butrfli go down some stairs and reach another door. Tacoman is about to open this one when Butrfli stops him
Wait, I think someone or something is in there... let me check.
Butrfli stands still with her hand on the door for several seconds, and then removes the hand
There is someone in there, but I've got a feeling of evil an malevolence.
Suddenly, the door opens, and the floor with Tacoman and Butrfli starts towards it. Once inside, the door closes, and the pair are face to face with Walt Wonderful.

Hey, how about not killing me and just putting me down?

The robotic chickens hesistate for a second, loosening their grip. Rikard brings his legs up and pushes off both chickens. The chickens are pushed backward and Rikard lands hard onto his back. He jumps up as the chickens charge again. The chickens try to hit, but he dodges the blows, ending up between them. Both go for his head at the same time. Rikard ducks; this results in the chickens making a very fast and hard kiss, sharp beaks penetrating through their respective faces. Electricity shoots out of both robots as they short out.

Mmmmmmm, fried chicken. Rikard, to any LICC, where'd you all go?

(She turns on her communicator to answer Rikard)

Well, I'm a little busy at the moment. Some animatronic Komodo dragons were going wild and they've been joined by some dancing rhinos.
(Surrounded by attacking animatronics Sailor Evil performs a fouetté en tournant with such power that her foot knocks the heads off of most of the diabolical dragons around her and sends the others pirouetting away)

Don't tell me this is happening all over the park?

(A rhino performs a grand battlement which Evil dodges then grabs the extended leg and pushes the rampaging rhino onto it's back & stomps on it's head. Evil then performs a grand jeté over to another rogue robot & performs a high kick of her own)

Good news. I reduced this to a pas de quatre.

Ah, so good of you to come here of your own volition. The master will be pleased. Will you just follow me.

(Tacoman & Butrfli notice they are surrounded by gaily colored pixie animatronics)

Don't mind them. Just follow the goldbrick row and you won't have to find out if I'm telling the truth or not about them being able to discharge 50,000 volts each.

(the animatronic Walt Wonderful heads along the path)

Step lively now. You don't want Ringerbell & her friends to think you're dawdling do you?

Actually, we were being chased by a taxie, and came here to hide...
Before Tacoman follows the crowd, he presses the buttons that activates his suit's distress beacon and the comm system. Hopefully, Commander Milkshake will be able to listen in to what's going on. Tacoman leans over to Butrfli and whispers
Get your magic ready... we may be needing it soon.
Excuse me, Mr. Wonderful... your Master? He or she wouldn't happen to look and sound a lot like me, would they?

Now I know my shuttle's not the sharpest around
But everybody knows she's the hottest in town
My self sealing steam bolts make it twelve to one
And Sunday at the drag stop there's a trophy run.....

Adon was finishing his steak dinner when he noticed a couple enter the dining center. He smiles in surprise as he recognizes the pair. He wipes his mouth and approaches their table.

Excuse me. Would you mind if I joined you?

The Observer and Artsy both turned and exclaimed "Adon!" in surprise, and he is quickly invited to sit down.

Thank you. This really is a lovely place to visit, and I do like to visit here after a particularly stressful day.

I was summoned by the Conclave. Apparently, I haven't been wandering enough, spending so much time with the LICC. It took some explaining, but I was given permission to stay on for as long as I wish, provided I'm not needed elsewhere, of course.

Well, I see that you two around. I wouldn't want to intrude.

Adon get up from the table.

Rikard notices his communicator is receiving a signal. In fact, it is the distress signal on Tacoman's suit.

The Captain's in trouble? Some vacation. Then again, they all seem to end up this way.


He follows the signal to two doors facing each other. Just as he approaches them, one of the doors breaks open, shattering into several wooden pieces. A robotic taxi roars through, its radio playing beach music. It faces Rikard, and revs its engine.

Okay. Hey how about some Beach Land?

The taxi's tires squeal as the robotic vehicle shoots forward.

Tacoman and Butrfli, with no other choice at the moment, follow Walt Wonderful to meet his Master. Once inside the area, Tacoman looks up in shock
Oh no.. not you again...

(Observer and Artsy watch Adon depart the dining center.)

Ah, very nice to see Adon again. I'm not too surprised to find him here, this place is really a favorite with many time-traveling groups. Well, Artsy, they can make anything you could possibly want, in fact...

(A Sibling waiter, holding a laden tray with 3 of his 4 arms, stops at the table and sets down several dishes and drinking vessels. Artsy's eyes open wide as she realizes that she has been served exactly what she would want most to eat.)

...they usually know what you want before you do. I don't see any Starflowers on the table, but I'll bet that we'll see some later, perhaps for dessert. Shall we eat?

They even have groupies here! Nice...

(inside the secret secret lab Tacoman & Butrfli stare at another Walt Wonderful.)
Ah, hello, Tacoman and..., uh... Tacoman's friend. You'll have to forgive me for not being familiar with your name. I haven't had a lot of time to keep up with recent events.

Thank you WW1. You may go back to your duties now.

WW1: Yes, sir.

(the animatronic Walt Wonderful leaves although the dangerous pixies stay flying around Tacoman & Butrfli)

Why did you suppose I would look & sound like you?

(Tacoman breifly mentions Taconator)

Ahhh... I considered transfering my conscious to a mechanical entity. WW1 was an attempt, but it didn't succeed. Try as I might I couldn't transfer my essence from an organic receptacle to a mechanical one. Nope, organic to organic is the only way I can see it working.

I suppose you are wondering why I've done all this?
Well, to make a long story short. I don't want to die. My condition was terminal. I decided to turn all my resources to ways to extend my life. I was able to create a gas I called Reanimatagen. It temporarily restores a body to mobility, but it is not permanent. I was forced to occasionally freeze myself into solid blocks of reanimatagen, then thaw myself out for short periods of time.

(while Walt is talking, Butrfli is starting to become woozy)

Then I realized that what I really needed was to revitalize & rejuvinate my body & to do that I would need life energy, but the life energy of a normal person didn't work. Instead I needed the life energy of a superhuman. Only then could my life, my genius, be restored to my peak condition.

(Butrfli collapses)

Don't worry. She's not dead. It's a side effect of reanimatagen. It acts as a seditive on healthy individuals. I suspect that you are still standing because your suit has an internal oxygen supply. The face I see must be some kind of hologram. Anyway if you wish her to keep on living, I would suggest you remove your armor and move into that case over there.

(Walt points to a case next to a chamber, while the animatronic pixies hover dangerously close to Butrfli. Tacoman has no choice but to obey)

Ah, good. The other one I want has fallen asleep in his hotel room.

(Walt pushes some buttons and the bed that Kiehart is on folds up into the wall and Kiehart is transported to the secret secret lab through pneumatic tubes in the hotel walls. WW1 carries the sleeping Kiehart to a case on the other side of the chamber. Walt then climbs into the chamber between Tacoman & Kiehart)

Throw the switch WW1!

(the lab is bathed in a purple light, electricity runs up & down tesla coils, flashes of simulated lightning flashes while ominous organ music comes out of the lab's loudspeakers)

Yes. Yes! I can feel the energy flowing into me!!! Ha ha ha ha!!!

(the special effects die down & the animatronic Walt Wonderful approaches the chamber containing the real Walt Wonderful)

WW1: Are you alright, sir?

(Walt opens the chamber door)

Alright, WW1? I feel better than ever. I feel young and alive again!

(he throws his arms wide and with a smile on his face, falls forward dead onto the floor)

(Tacoman opens his case & asks just what happened)

It seems the master was incorrect about being able to transfer life energy from organic receptacles to an organic receptacle. A shame. He was quite a genius on mechanical & entertainment matters.

(Tacoman asks if WW1 can shut off the rampaging animatronics)

Oh, yes, of course. With the master dead there will be no need for that anymore.

(WW1 goes to the controls and pushes a button to switch off the remaining animatronics. The pixies fall down harmlessly around the sleeping Butrfli, and WW1 remains frozen over the console. With a single finger Tacoman pusshes WW1 over to clatter on the floor, the noise of which wakes up Kiehart)

Actually if you'll check the back of your tickets, Subsection 47 of the really small print it says that you do give up any rights of compensation should there be a freak animatronic attack.

Tacoman looks around the room and then down at the two Walt Wonderfuls.
I suppose we'll have to inform Dinsey officials about this. I bet the animatronic Walt Wonderful could be used to greet guests as they enter the park.
Hopefully, we can ejoy the rest of our vacation, without the interruption of synthetic viruses and rampaging animatronics.
Come on, Kiehart, let's go.
Tacoman picks up Butrfli and the group leaves the secret lab. Out in the main corridor, they encounter Rikard against a wall with the robotic taxie inches from him. They all pile into the vehicle and attempt to find the exit to the underground complex. Soon, they emerge into sunlight right behind the "Deep Sea Submarine Ride."
Captain Tacoman to Dinsey officials, did you know you have a secret lab in your underground complex?
Tacoman briefly describes the secret lab with the two Walt Wonderfuls and where to find the lab. At that point, Butrfli awakens.
What? Where are we? Last thing I remember is seeing a second Walt Wonderful...

There was a clunk and someone muttering in an unrecognisable language coming from the emergency exit to the "Deep Sea Submarine Ride." Then the door opened and Adon stepped out.

This was an open field the last time I was here. Who in their right mind would put a ride right here and... Oh, hello Captain.

Rikard looks over at Butrfli.

We're in the psycho animatronic taxi that tried run us over earlier. But don't worry, they've all been deactivated. Walt Wonderful's dead, at least we assume he is. He did die right in front of you, Kiehart, and the Captain.

Hey Adon!

So, Captain, is our vacation done then or are we going to stay?

(Enesku runs up to them, being chased by the shark)

Hi Adon. So, when was the last time you were here?
Now, as for vacation, I think we can spend a little more time...now that the synthetic viruses and psychopathic animatronics have been eliminated, or at least quieted...
I mean, we do want to see the fireworks/laser light/hologram show that the place puts on at night, right?

At this time, Butrfli speaks up.
Wern't we going to the Exotic Animal Park before we had that adventure?
She opens up the brochure for the Animal Park
We can go see the reticulated aardvarks from Argus IV, and the famed Siamese Elephants of Conaway III... you know, the ones that have a couple of Spider Monkeys dancing the Rumba on their trunks...

Kiehart opens his eyes. "Huh? Wha-I was sleeping. Where am I?" Tacoman's eyebrow raise. "Man, I had no idea you were such a heavy sleeper."

As Enesku runs by, Adon steps between her and the shark. He draws his sword and the shark opens its mouth. Then Adon brings the sword down, and cuts the shark in half right down the middle. The two halves crash on either side of Adon.

I guess that not all of the animatronics have shut down.

Kiehart, do you remember being captured by Walt Wonderful?

Artsy and Observer begin their meal. Talk for a while is low and limited to the food and their surroundings as Artsy absorbs the exquisite tastes--some she has not had in years, including a pale green drink in a tall frosted glass that turned to a frothy, spiced vapor in her mouth--and asks questions about the Siblings' world. In the background music comes to them on the soft wind that flows through the dining center.

Observer starts telling Artsy about the first time he ever came here, and she listens intently, but partway through her eyes seem to glaze over a bit and she is obviously trying to hold back laughter.

Finally Observer asks, "What is so funny?"

Artsy leans back in her seat and erupts in a fit of uncontrollable giggles. All the other patrons--and the waiters--look over at them.
Observer gives her a strange look. "You're...so...serious!" she gasps. "Why don't you lighten up a little?" She kicks him under the table.

For a second the look of shock that crosses Observer's face seems to startle Artsy back to awareness. The giggles die away and she sits up slowly. "I'm...I'm sorry," she says, looking confused. Then the confusion clears and she glances towards the open door, where hills can be seen in the steadily gathering twilight. "Say, that would be a great place to play tag. Are we done yet?"

(Insane and his team have searched for hours in the Ak'kroch star carrier, and none have found anything resembling sheet music for a Cosmic Symphony)

What if it isn't here? What if we've been wasting our time? Where now?

Assuming that it is here & that the Ak'kroch have not found an exceptional hiding place for it, perhaps the Cosmic Symphony sheet music does not look like regular sheet music?

For all we know it could look like a chart of the elements or an extrememly colorful picture.

There is a condition called synesthesia where people associate colors with sounds or textures with scents.

Did the Celestial Musician describe how it could be identified?

For that matter, if the Celestial Musician knew it was here, why did he need us to retrieve it?

"I remember getting undressed for the hot tub, but I decided to take a nap first." Kiehart looks down. "Wow. This bathrobe is so comfy I forgot I was wearing it! I should- aw nuts, a security tag. Even Adon couldn't get one of these off. I'll go back to my room and get my clothes and my gun."

In a completely expected plot twist, another animatronic character runs into the room!

Aarrrgh, I'll be a-gettin' ye, Pepperman!

He swings a rusty fishpole at Tacoman, but misses, trips, and falls to the floor, deactivated.

Well, Rob, I suspect the Celestial Musician isn't as powerful as us and realised that it was a dangerous thing to do. Or maybe he led us into this place and it's a trap!

Anyway, if he knows what it looks like, I say we try to contact him.

(Observer at first is taken aback, but then a knowing look crosses his face, along with an expression of concern. He opens his mouth to talk, but before he speaks, the years suddenly seem to drop from his seemingly still-youthful face and his eyes open wide. As he speaks, an extremely ancient, archaic accent tinges his words.)

Giese! Hlæfdige min, lætan's irnan ond plie!

(He darts up from his seat and sprints toward the hills, laughing, his brown cloak flapping behind him...)

On board the Spidership, a light on the interdimensional communicator begins blinking. A blueshirt goes to look.
Lt. Jadlad, there's a message from Jackson Dupree on the Archangel!
Jadlad nods and activates the message.
Jackson Dupree to the LICC, we have an emergency situation here on the Archangel. I don't know how long I can talk, but I'll give you a brief outline of what's been going on....
We were going after a starship that we thought was suspicious, and when we caught up to it, we were attacked by Jake Grey's ships.
Our situation over here is grim. The Archangel is heavily damaged, and most of the systems are down. The portal generator is about the only thing that works, and I had to rig up a system to make this communicator work. We need your help.
We will be heading for STU90, but will not know where we'll be. Please meet us there. Here is the
coordinates for that dimension.
The coordiates show up on the screen, which starts to flicker. Luckily, the computer registers the coordinates.
I don't have much time left to talk! Please...
At that point, the transmission cuts off.

In a completely unexpected twist the animatronic LICC from LICCLand* also received the message and being programmed to act like the real LICC immediatly took off in their own Spidermobile to help Archangel.

* No, they were not rebuilt from any of Walt Wonderful's animatronics

We *hic* think it's great that *burp* DinseyPlanet has a LiquorLand. *hic*

(Meanwhile, on the other side of DinseyPlanet, but easily reached by taking a shuttle through the core of the planet, the 3002 Winter Olympic Games are being held.)

I think Team Arcturus has the lock on winning the team snowball fights.

I don't think so. Sure they have 50 tentacles each, but that's just more of an opportunity to get tangled up.

Shame about the Human Torch being disqualified in the ice carving.

Yeah, testing positive for Cosmic Rays. He should have known better. It's his origin for goodness sakes.

Hey! Did you see the name of one of the competitors in the Extreme Obstacle Biathalon?

(looks at program) Frnak Rnager!?! Well, we have to root for Qunicy's brother.

A snooty woman sees Kiehart in his bathrobe.

Well, I say! How lower class can you get parading around the park in a robe.

Just then a strong wind blows Kiehart's robe open.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!

The woman faints as Kiehart tries to close his robe.

The door opened, supprising the redshirt on duty. He drew a weapon, but put it away when he saw who it was.

Oh, it's only you. I'm sorry about that, sir, but you supprised mAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

Moments later, the Spidership's life support failed.

Artsy, flashing to an almost neon yellow, takes off after Observer, not noticing the drink she has knocked to the floor in her haste nor hearing the concerned flutings of the Sibling waiters.

Outside, Observer has disappeared into the twilight. Artsy pauses, glancing around with a smile still lively on her face. From further up the hill towards the falls, an familiar cloaked figure pops out from behind a bush and waves at her. With a delighted squeal Artsy vanishes into motion faster-than-sight, but Observer manages to see or sense her coming and dodges out of the way. Artsy trips on a root and goes sprawling into visibility. She rolls over at the sound of teasing laughter and sees Observer only a few feet away, sticking his tongue out at her. "Can't catch me!" he says, grinning.

"Can so! Come back here!"

The chase that follows is mad and tumbled. Artsy almost knocks over the Sibling sculptors they encountered earlier, and Observer leads her a merry chase up the easier slope of the hill to one side of the Emerald Falls to a flat meadow where fireweed blooms red and orange in the very last light of the sunset.

A blur flashes out from behind a tree and hits Observer squarely. Triumphantly a brilliantly purple Artsy pins him facedown on the ground. "Gotcha! Now you're it, but first you have to pay a penalty."

How did Artsy and Obsy get the virus? They didn't go to Dinsey Planet, did they?

Artsy did, remember? She got into a fight with Butrfli? I don't know how Observer got it though. Maybe they shared a drink off-screen.

Meanwhile, the group on the Ak'kroch ship are standing in front of a large door that appears to be made out of a combination of bronze and copper. Suddenly they hear a voice from the other side.

We will listen to what you have to say, but first, you must prove that you are worthy of the privilege of speaking to our leaders.

You must answer these questions two:

First, What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Answer this question in thirteen seconds, and I will give you the next. Fail, and you must leave immediately with no arguments or you will be vaporized.

What is your answer?

What kind of hand are you talking about?

It's a big universe with all kinds of hands in it. For instance the Klaiardian hand is double-jointed and sounds like this, 'Fap, fap, fap.' The Akronthian hand, however, is very rigid and is incapable of clapping. The Qordurodian hand, while capable of bending 180 degrees, twists so that it simply brushes past its own arm making a 'whiff, whiff, whiff' sound. Zilqonians have a hand that is more of a cross between a hand & a fin and it makes a swishing sound.

However, unless you are more specific it will take several hours to go through the list of known sounds of one hand clapping.

There is a brief sound of someone sucking in air, then....

Your answer is.....accepted. Most have stated that one hand cannot clap, but you have proven most intelligent.

Second question:

How do you make a Sylustun Sunmist?

This time you have eight seconds to answer.

You show him some bad movies... that's how you make a Sylustan son MiST.

And if that's not what you meant, then you're the one at fault for not making youself clearer.

At the Exotic Animal Park, Tacoman is enjoying the sights when his communicator beeps. He answers it.
Hello...what? Messsage from the Archangel? They need our help? Lack of life support on the ship?
Well...try and get it back on, and when it returns call me again so we can rescue the Archangel. Tacoman out.
With that, Tacoman cuts the connection.

Kiehart gets his robe closed, and nervously runs away to get his clothes. When he comes back, Tacoman asks him what took him so long. "It's embarrassing. On the way there and the way back I got invited to six proms!" "Hey way to go tiger." Butrfli jokes. Kiehart groans. "Cna we just get back to the ship please?"

That's it Cap? Shouldn't we figure out why the life support is now gone and if the entire skeleton crew we left behind is still alive?

Arg! Ic alecgan!

(Just then, Observer shimmers and dissapears under Artsy, sending her sprawling. Observer reappears a dozen yards away.)

Ha ha! Ge cunnan noht betræppan me ongean!

(With that, he pulls a long, silvery sword from somewhere in his cloak, uses it to vault a mediumish-sized stream, and sprints away, leaving the weapon in the mud.)

Good point, Josh.
Captain to the various LICC people roaming the park, It's time we get going. The ship seems to be without life support, and we need to see if anybody's still up there.

"Ooh! Not fair!" Artsy jumps up and darts over to the stream. She is momentarily distracted by the silvery gleam of Observer's sword, but when she tries to pull it out of the mud she discovers that it's almost too heavy to hold. It slips from her hands and smacks down, barely missing her bare feet.

The artist crosses her arms and frowns at the stream, glancing from it to where Observer is lounging under a tree and laughing at her attempt to lift his sword. Making a sudden decision, Artsy darts across the water, splashing up a colored wake behind her.

On the other side she reappears, her dress dripping water from the hem in rainbow streaks. "If we're going to play, you've got to play right," she tells Observer as she walks up to him. He lets her get to within a foot of him, but it's obvious he could vanish again at a moment's thought. "You're IT now, come on!" She reaches out and slaps him, leaving a long smear of irridecent pink on his cloak.

Mæst! Gearo oþþe noht, her ic becuman!

(Observer starts for Artsy, but she flashes away. Observer looks around, curious, then gets a devious smile on his face. With a gesture, three more identical Observers appear, and each sprint away in opposite directions...)

(Interestingly, only one of the Observers has a long smear of iridescent pink on his cloak...)

(Romantic country music plays in the background of the Artsy/Obsy scene, and the image hazes slightly)

First of all Don't Panic! As long as the Spidermobile's hull is intact there should be enough heat & oxygen to last several hours.

However you should extinguish all open flames on board the ship.

Determine what is wrong with the life support.
If it is OFF, turn it back ON.
If it is damaged, repair it.
If it is damaged beyond repair, replace it with the backup life support unit kept in ship's stores.
If the backup life support unit is also damaged beyond repair, or missing, then put on your spacesuit & send out an emergency message.

Note: If you are a redshirt your spacesuit is kept on the cargo bay behind the hatch which reads, Warning! Escape hatch!

If none of these options works, please send your letters of complaint to:
Emergency Manual Publishing
4747 Outuvluck Lane
Coprolite City, Uppacreek 47474
Paddleless Planet, SOL Galaxy

Controversy rocked the 3002 Winter Olympics today when judges for the Pairs Figure Skating awarded first place to the skaters from Gloyidia because, "They just skated the best."

Payovian officials were livid about the decision, stating, "We paid the highest bribe, we should have won! For over a millennium skating officials have accepted bribes, made deals, been puppets for their government, but to give an award based on actual talent??? What the frell is the universe coming to?"

More on this story as it continues.

Notices calendar

Wow! Is it Singlehood Awareness Day, already?

Time to pig out on chocolate & stab pins into a doll representing everyone who didn't ask me out.

Continues merrily on her way

Rikard looks around at the group.

Uh oh, I don't think any of us ever asked her out.

This could hurt...

Kiehart, already in the pilot's seat for the shuttle, waits for the other LICC people to come back. "What is taking them so long?"

Come on Josh, let's get to the shuttle.
With that, Josh, Butrfli, the kids, and Tacoman head back to the shuttle. Along the way, they are joined by Sailor Evil. Soon, they are inside the shuttle and waiting for the rest of the group. They are also informed that their luggage and their various souviners are being sent to the Spidership.
Kiehart, scan the park for the lagging members of the LICC.

The animatronic LICC, on it's way to meet the Archnagel, sadly is intercepted and crushed by a falling whale. How this happened in the vacuum of space is beyond anyon'e sability to comprehend, as those few enlightened beings who figured it out had their brains explode as a result.

Quito is tagging along with Ansh when they get the call to return to the Spidership....

Oh, time to go!

There is a brief `whirring' sound. A mechanical open hand comes out of the wall and smacks Insane not once, but twice.

That is NOT how you make a Sylustun Sunmist. Its two parts Thyuvian Glokna Juice, one part Crazbazgle Zorrch, and one part Vimgibler Hamzarak. And we prefer ours shaken, not stirred!

There is a brief pause.

But...your answer amuses us. You may enter, anyway, but the robot must wait outside.

The door begins to open....