OU812

Artsy stops running for a second, ducking behind a tree to catch her breath. The light is dying now, fading even from this high hilltop, but she can still see well enough to notice when a cloaked figure comes swiftly and quietly through the trees near her. She darts off in another direction, only to find another Observer stalking towards her.

Her confusion grows as she makes her way higher up the small mountain and sees yet another Observer, this one almost on top of her before she sees him. Quietly Artsy crouches beside a large bush and wills her color to change, blending in nicely with the surroundings so that even a trained eye might easily miss her, and waits, eyes bright with anticipation...

"Turn around bright eyes..."

Uh oh, I don't think any of us ever asked her out.

This could hurt... - Rikard

Oh, don't worry, sir. It was just a joke.

I'm okay with my single status. I've got years to find a man before I'm an old maid of 22 or 23.
(Smirks)

(She gets a crazy look on her face & her eyes glow red)
Now just sit there so I can memorize your features & reproduce them on a doll. Hee hee hee...

DB: So the fake LICC recieved a distress call & left in their fake Spidermobile.

DD1: umm... Well, yeah...

DD2: We were really surprised by that. We programmed them to be heroic, but we never expect...

DB: Why was the fake Spidermobile a real spaceship?

DD1: Welll, we th... thought that...

DD2: What if there was an emergency & we needed to evacuate the planet.

DD1: Right. I mean in an emergency...

DD2: Having an extra ship on hand would be a good thing.

DB: Have you attempted to get the animatronic LICC & their not-so-fake ship back?

DD1: Yes! As soon as we discovered what happened we hit the recall switch... but...

DD2: It was crushed by a whale.

DB: A whale?

DD2: Yes.

DB: So it was underwater?

DD1: No...

DD2: It was in space.

DB: How did a whale get in space?

DD1: Maybe it was a... space whale...?

My lord. We have captured some easily reprogrammable robots designed to mimic the LICC & their ship.

We have made it appear to have collided with a whale. The organic authorities will be so busy puzzling over that that they will not realize our deception or even suspect our involvement.

At this rate our forces will be strong enough to conquer the organics in just a few months.

Oh, no, not again.

That post should have been by "The bowl of petunias". I forgot the term used in the heat of the moment.

Sorry, Rob. Don't go anywhere. I didn't bring a camera so I'll see if I can send you a postcard.

(He smiles and winks at Robot Redshirt, then walks through the door)

Greetings, I represent the League of Intergalactic Cosmic Champions, and I want to know if you have or know about something we need. Something called... the Cosmic Symphony?

Another robot comes out and starts talking to Robot Redshirt. He drones in a monotone...

I think you should know that I'm feeling very depressed. Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and they send me out to keep a redshirted robot company. And I've got this pain in the diodes all down my left side...

He continues droning on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and...

(continues looking around, and finally his eyes rest on the disguised Artsy. With a grin on his face, Observer approaches, and then...stops. With no trace of his former tongue, he speaks...)

What just happened? How did I get here?

Chagrined at being discovered, Artsy stands and makes a face at Observer. "You chased me here, silly. What? Tired of playing? Spoilsport."

But as Artsy stares at Observer, something seems to shift in her mind and her eyebrows draw together in puzzlement. For a second she looks as if she's going to laugh off whatever it is, and then she rubs a hand across her face and looks again at Observer, aghast. The orange/gold of her dress and hair slips suddenly into pale grey edged with blue, a faint glow in the dimness. "I--uh--oh boy...."

(Observer once again is lost in that expression of seriousness he uses so often, but then...he bursts into laughter.)

I'll be darned. That child-plague! I should have known it wasn't finished running its course, and I just assumed I would be immune to it. That'll teach me a thing or two.

(Observer continues laughing, until Artsy can't help but join in to the little caper of mirth.)

Well, I guess we can thank Webber for that rather than blame him. I haven't felt this good in years!

(Artsy stops laughing.)

"Webber? Who?"

(Observer also stops, although he still has a grin on his face.)

"Oh, nobody. Gee, we're going to be late for the art museum's grand opening on Emerald Falls. Shall we-"

(Observer's eyes suddenly widen, and he reaches into several hidden pockets.)

Wait...where's my sword?

(About 10 minutes later, Observer has finished cleaning the last bit of mud off of the impressive weapon, and laughing and talking, the two set out back towards the gleaming city...)

That "Oh, nobody" line should not have been in quotation marks, since it was said by Observer and not Artsy.

The shuttle returns to the Spider, everyone aboard.

Tacoman enters the bridge and sits in his chair.
Helm, set a course for STU90 and begin a search for the Archangel.
I assume that we'll have to pay a parking fee too.
Just have them send a bill to the Department of Superheroics.

What's STU90, Captain?

Kiehart on the bridge shrugs. "Probably an XDCA controlled universe. When I was on the Revanche during that whole TerrSec mess I think I heard the captain talk about being from STU90. Or he could've said SVU90, but he certainly didn't sound like a New York Sex Crimes cop."

The growing pattern of lights below begins to spread out as darkness falls. Along the path itself, stalks like flowers fall gently open and let a soft silver glow spill out.

"I wonder if they could teach me how to make those," is Artsy's breathless comment; then she checks her enthusiasm with a laugh. "Sorry. Don't let me get carried away or I'm liable to start ignoring you."

Observer smiles at her, his profile sharply shadowed. "I'll try not to. Maybe I can bring you here again sometime, just to spend a few days with the local artists."

"Would you really?" Artsy's dress flames an excited golden red even in the colorless light. "I'd love that. I'm tempted to move here permanently--except I suppose that might cause some kind of time paradox? Anyway, Quito would miss me." She sighs. They are almost into the city proper by now, and the colors and noise of a large group of beings ahead catch her attention. "Is that where the show is going to appear?"

Observer nods, but instead of excitment Artsy catches the same regret she'd noticed earlier when he told her about the Siblings' culture.

"What is it?"

He looks at her, confused. "What?"

"That look. The one you get whenever I mention what a unique place this is." She stares earnestly at him as they continue down what has now become a broad lighted avenue....

It's the Tahiti Syndrome.

The Spidermobile leaves the LICC Universe with a flash of rainbow lights. Then there appears to be a disturbance where the ship had disappeared and suddenly in another flash of light all the wacky, humorous & zany characters from the Spidermobile are thrust back into the LICC Universe (in shuttles, of course) and a giant cartoon hand suddenly appears, holding a big sign which reads,

(Sitting in one of the shuttles along with a blueshirt wearing a fake arrow through the head, a yellowshirt wearing a clown nose, hair & big, floppy shoes, and Sherman, the ship's mouse)

So, um... Does this sort of thing happen to you guys... a lot?

This story will continue on the Archangel board for the time being.

(Observer sighs)

One of the great curses of my profession...is to know what the future holds. Knowing what the future holds and being still powerless to prevent it. We're more than 800 years before our present time...and...this city, this people, this world...

(Observer looks around at the beautiful city, the people laughing, talking, singing songs. The way the warm light from the glowstaffs placed along the street reflects on the polished buildings. The stars overhead, the soft sounds, smells, and sights down below.)

None of it exists in our time. I really don't want to say any more. This should be a happy occasion.

Why were we rejected? What's funny about us?

(on an open comm line to the other shuttles)

So who was it that kept us out of the AU? Was it them pesky Protectors of the Void or some other group?

And are we just supposed to wait around for the Spidermobile to get back or what?

On the Ak'kroch ship

So, Marvin, do you happen to know where the sheet music for the Cosmic Symphony is stored?

Just a minute. I'm picking up a transmission on the LICC frequency.

(listens to the chatter from the LICC shuttles, then sends a message of his own)

This is Robot Redshirt on the Ak'kroch ship.

(pause)

Lt. Insane is busy talking to the Ak'kroch.

(pause)

The Furbies are probably singing an encore for their fans.

(pause)

Yes, fans. I am incapable of lying under ordinary circumstances.

It is possible that the Ak'kroch may not have the sheet music. Perhaps you can look into any recent purchases of symphonic instruments by potentially dangerous individuals or groups.

(pause)

Besides the Furbies.

Suddenly, a voice comes over the comms on all the shuttles.

This is Rocket Ranger. I'm not too sure I qualify as a `funny' character, but it doesn't matter; I flew the SnowCrane out of the spidership before they left.

All shuttles meet me at these coordinates. According to the messages I've intercepted, they have a F'lurp Ball tournament going on down there. I figure we can all take a break and watch a game or two until we hear from Lt. Insane's group or the others get back.

All the shuttles receive a set of coordinates that takes them close to the second planet in the solar system they're currently in.

Suddenly, Insane hears a deep, yet friendly, voice speak.

You were sent here by the one who calls himself the Celestial Musician, weren't you?

Insane: Yes.

Voice: Ah. I knew it. Well, I am afraid that you have been led on what I believe is called a `wild goose chase'.

Insane: Why is that?

Suddenly, a man dressed in a black coat with glowing musical notes in various colors on it, appears. He has shoulder-length black hair and a goatee...and is smiling.

Because, my friend, the `Celestial Musician' you encountered is a fake. I am the TRUE Celestial Musician.

This is Captain Lasi of the Kaly Space Patrol. The Passenger liner P.O.R. Timi has fallen into a newly formed gravity well in normal shipping lanes. Repeat Timi has fallen into the well.

Then who was he? And who are you? And do you know where the Cosmic Symphony is or what it looks like?

The Generic Evil Villain is sitting at his Cosmic Harpsichord...

Curses, GEH! I am foiled once more, as I cannot seem to get the tune to this Cosmic Symphony just right! But I will get it, and then I'll SHOW THEM! I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

He swirls his cape dramatically

A F'lurp Ball tournament sounds good to me. My mom was a F'lurp Ball player called "The Howling Tigress". You should see the trophy's she won.

M: A rescue mission, eh? Steven do you know what means?

S: An opportunity to show what a great & valuable assett you are to LICC, a promotion to higher rank & taking a step closer to becoming que..., I mean, captain of the Spidermobile?

M: Well, yes, but I was thinking more along the lines of winning a Nitty.

S: You'll be a shoo-in.

M: Well, of course you'd think so, but there is a vast conspiracy of people out there who are not the brown-nosers you are. Therefore I'll rescue Timi from the well or my name isn't Marissa Marrisa!

S: And my name isn't Steven Stephen!

M: Oh, shut up! Nobody cares about you.

S: (drops his head & mumbles) Yes.

M: I'll win a Nitty if I have to do it over your dead body!

S: *gulp* Yes, my love.

The man raises an eyebrow as he looks at Insane.

As I said before, I am the TRUE Celestial Musician. The man you encountered that claimed to be the Celestial Musician, who sent you on this `wild goose chase', was my apprentice at one time.

As for the Cosmic Symphony, I believe he wants it for himself, so he can play it and alter the universe to fit his own taste. That must not be allowed to happen!

(a blueshirted vulcan crewmember with a bandage around his head & a sock puppet on his hand sitting in the back of Marissa's shuttle says)

Ha ha ha. You know the odds of a gravity well spontaneously appearing in an empty area like a shipping lane is... Astronomical. Ha ha ha.

Isn't that right boy?

(he pretends to have the sock puppet speak)

That's right! Therefore the gravity well must be either artificially generated or a sign of a powerful entity altering the laws of the universe.

Ha ha ha. Well maybe whomever's behind it thinks... All's Well that ends Well. Ha ha ha.

the sound of Amazing Grace is heard and suddenly the Sailor Scots* appear on the Ak'kroch ship

Hoot, nah, man. If there's a musical threat ta the universe, ye can count on the Sailor Scots ta help out!

* LICC2 XLVIII

The laughing Vulcan and his dog
and Sybok was his name, oh!
S-Y-B-O-K!
S-Y-B-O-(clap)
S-Y-B-(clap)-(clap)
And Sybok was his name, oh!

We're a-comin', y'all! Y'cain't start without some good ol' fashioned country 'n' western singin'! Yee-hah!

Well, REAL Celestial Musician, will you help me... I mean *us* find it so we can keep it out of the hands of evil? We must hurry, I've spent a while looking for this thing over here... oh yeah, and I've run out of rations. Mind if I grab some grub to take along with me?

Insane reaches for some grub and knocks a glass of water that had been carelessly left. The glass breaks and a barefoot Redshirt steps in the glass. Yelping in pain, and jumping up and down holding the wounded foot he doesn't notice that a near by wire has been cut by the flying glass, and that a slow moving puddle of water is towards it. The Redshirt lands on the exposed wire just as the water touches it, and the Redshirt is painfully electrocuted. The lights dim slightly.

(K-NIT viewers see the following message on their screens.)

The exciting adventure that was to happen was delayed by some of the actors renegotiating their contracts. As a result only the lead-in and lead-out scenes on the shuttle were filmed. The money for their new salaries was taken out of the budget for building sets, hiring extras, & filming special effects by an evil executive. That same executive insisted that we use the filmed scenes as they had already been paid for. Hopefully this will not result in too much confusion.

M: Wow! What an adventure.

S: Yes. Trapped in underspace fighting off aliens from undiscovered realms of subspace, rescuing the crew of the P.O.R. Timi...

M: And let's not forget the fiendish Kla-ta-ri.

S: *shudders* He could give lessons in evil to Taconator.

M: Yes, this was truely my finest hour.

What was a redshirt doing on the Ak'kroch ship?

Trying to get away from Marissa and Steven?

Yellowshirt: "Dimensional transit complete."

Status report.

Adon: "EPS System at 87%, all others are green."

Fine. Computer, cancel yellow alert.

Doh-dee-doh

Helm, set a course for the Kesprit Repair Yards, warp six.

"Course set."

Engage.

Zulllllllllssshhh-POW!

Good. Anyone up for a holomovie?

Artsy and Observer wind their way deeper into the city, finding an air of anticipation and quiet celebration growing more distinct as they approach a wide space clear of buildings. There is a crowd around the perimeter, moving with a slow grace very unlike most mobs at public events. They part for the couple, some of the Siblings whistling greetings to Observer, who bows in return.

At the edge of the open space Artsy looks up. Between the buildings along the edge, a huge gossamer canopy has been suspended, hundreds of feet above the ground. Instead of obscuring the night sky, it seems to draw the starlight down and magnify it into a panoramic scattering of brilliant gems. Artsy catches her breath in delight, but Observer smiles knowingly at her.

"This is nothing. Just wait about one more minute, and you'll see what we really came for."

Artsy glances at him, puzzled, but is instantly drawn back to the open space as in a single moment it fills with life and light and color....

ZZZzzzzzzeewwwwww.....

Yellowshirt: "Commander, the warp drive has failed. I am initiating a safe deceleration."

Milkshake to Colanator, what's going on?

The EPS system has become unstable, and the warp drive could not pull enough feedback megajoulage to sustain the matter/antimatter reaction. It seems that the forcefields on the Deck 6 conduits have stopped functioning. My team and I are en route to the damaged area. Colanator out.

The turbolift opens, and Adon steps out.

Commander, I have been investigating the conduit failure, since the security recorders had stopped functioning a few minutes beforehand. I just thought that you should know that...

An explosion somewhere on the spidership rocked the bridge, sending everyone flying through the air. As everyone began picking themselves up, Commander Milkshake called for a damage report.

Warp drive is off line, and we have massive power fluctuations on all decks. And Commander... Deck 6 is gone.

Bridge to Colanator, Report!

Silence was their only reply.

Helm, full stop!

"Full stop aye!"

Damage reports!

"Communications down, Commander!"

Okay, let's assess damage, people. Internal sensors.

Adon: "Internal sensors for anything below Deck 5 are gone, Commander."

We still have power, don't we?

"Yes sir, from the impulse drive on Deck 4, but these power fluctuations most likely have knocked out the warp drive for good."

All right. Get someone to a shuttle, and have them take sensor sweeps of Deck 6. If it had gone for good, we'd be two ships instead of one.

"Aye sir."

The only good thing is if the escaped electro-plasma had burned out the hull, it would cool and seal its own breaches before anything bad happened...

Boom! Boom!

Hull breaches. Still, we've got to see.

I'll head out in my Combat Suit to check the damages. I will relay the data back to the bridge.

Adon pressed the turbolift button, but the lift failed to respond.

It looks like the turbolifts are down as well. Time to use the escape hatch.

Adon leaves through the escape hatch in the floor. A few minutes later, the viewscreen is showing what the Combat Suit shows the damage to the outer hull.

Not too bad, a couple of breaches but the rest of the hull is intact. The vaccuum should have cooled the leaked plasma, too.

All right, we need to get communications up as soon as possible. We really should have dimensionally transited closer to an inhabited system...

(...and a glimmering structure appears under the canopy, as if it had existed there all along. The prisimic building shines, and with an excited rill, the Siblings start to enter the structure. Observer stares at the newly-materialized building with a smile.)

Ah, the Great Art Museum! It contains works from untold numbers of universi, planets, and civilizations, an amazing place. Now some of the art might be too alien for us to comprehend, but the caretakers will help us out. Shall we?

The Celestial Musician smiles.

Take all the food you want, friend, but the Cosmic Symphony isn't going anywhere.

You see, the Ak'kroch are the only race in this sector with both the physical dexterity and mental acumen to play the piece perfectly. Letting it go elsewhere would be a serious mistake!

He pauses, and rubs his chin.

However.....wait here. I'll be back in a couple of minutes!

He leaves and goes into another room.

Hello, Department of Superheroics? This is the Terran Revenue Service.

As you know, tax time is coming up, and I've noticed that the LICC has never paid any taxes. Just how much are they paid?

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Thank you.

He smiles evilly.

This is going to be so fun!

He is so excited, that he actually lets a little old lady in Peoria off the hook for $0.01, instead of forcing her to pay $10,000 in penalties!

(PD Insane goes to the refrigerator and grabs whatever he can see, recognise, and knows he likes. So... the REAL celestial musician knows where the symphony is? This whole mission is turning out very differently from the way he expected)

A wormhole opens nearby the Spidership, and the Ryo-O passes out of it. On board, Tacoman is speaking to Greymoran
It's been interesting serving with and helping you again. Hopefully, we'll meet again... hopefully, under more pleasent circumstances.
He turns to Keith
Glad to hear about you and Rita. Hopefully, the kid will be intelligent and somewhat goofy. Raising a kid on a spaceship is challenging, but I know that with the help of the rest of the Archangel crew, you'll do it.
Tacoman looks at Jackson
I've been talking with the rest of your crew. I'm actually impressed that you're succeeding in getting your own life and personality. I may have to start thinking of you as a brother instead of a clone.
Butrfli: Goodbye, Jackson. Maybe next time you can see Fran and Logan.
Jackson: Yeah, let's hope. Well, it was nice seeing you two again. Don't forget to send the occasional report of what's going on over here.
Tacoman: Don't worry. I'll try.
Tacoman looks out a window created by Ryo-O and is startled by the Spidership.
My god... what's happened? There's a big hole in what looks like part of Deck 6...
Captain Tacoman to Commander Milkshake, what the heck is going on over there?

Artsy and Observer join the flow of Siblings entering the Great Art Museum. Once through the high double doors, the building opens out into a broad room, with bits of it partitioned off by low walls or draperies. Artsy doesn't know where to look first.

Observer stops her beside a tall clear panel with ribbons of fluid color patterned and frozen within it. He starts to question the dexerous-fingered being who is sitting beside the artpiece, but Artsy interupts without thinking. "Is that gel calligraphy? I've never even heard of one attempted on this scale." She sidles near for a closer look, while the being chuckles deeply at her comment.

"Tha' tiz why tiz here," he says in a heavily accented voice. "Look az y'pleaze, bu' do na' touch."

Artsy peers at the tall panel, tilting her head to view the ribbons from different angles, while Observer and the curator talk. In a minute, she bursts out with a delighted laugh. "There are at least four different songs in here, aren't there?"

Observer's eyebrows go up in surprise, but the curator simply chuckles again. "Ther' nine songs ther'. Try 'gain. Y'read th' script?"

Regretfully Artsy shakes her head. "No, just the patterns. What kind of songs are they?"

The wrinkles on the being's droopy face crease even further, hiding his eyes completely. "Lov' songs, for lov's."

Well, Captain, we're having a crazy time of it over here. The Deck 6 conduits went blooey and so we're almost a sitting duck. If you can transport directly to the bridge that would be good...

The Celestial Musician comes back into the room, and hands Lt. Insane a folder.

Go and take this composition back to the pretender, and tell him its the Cosmic Symphony.

Whatever you do, DO NOT tell him that you encountered me or know that he is an imposter!

Ryo-O, transport Butrfli, the Yellowshirt, and myself to the Spidership bridge.
Ryo-O does so, activates a portal, and goes through it. On the Spidership, Tacoman wanders over to Milkshake and asks
What's been going on? Report.
I leave the ship for a while, and all heck breaks loose, huh?

But I already know that he's a... oh, wait, you mean I shouldn't tell him that I know he's an imposter.

(He takes the folder)

Bye!

(He exits the room and meets up with Robot Redshirt and Marvin)

Come on, Rob, we're going. I've wasted enough time here anyway. (to Marvin) You can come along too.

(They pick up the Furbies, who are searching for Ak'kroch babes, and return to their ships. This time, the patched-up doors of the docking bay are opened for them, thanks to the Celestial Musician)

Well, isn't that nice.

(The ships fly out of the docking bay and make their way back to the Spidership)

(Insane and his team dock in the Spider's shuttle bay.)

Good to be back here again.

(He heads up to the bridge)

Hey, what's up with Deck 6? And, on a completely unrelated topic, does anyone know how we can contact that guy who called himself the Celestial Musician?

Trying to find someone?
Don't know where to start?

Try GALACTICSEARCH! Yes, at our galaxy-wide-web site www.galacticsearch.licc, you can find just about anyone!

(Later on, Observer and Artsy walk past a grand indoor plaza, filled with gauzy curtains of fabric, through which the museum visitors walk. They join in, and as they pass through each curtain, a new, unexpected emotion fills their minds. The brightly colored curtains conceal surface emotions, such as joy or shock, but the more subtly-colored ones impart feelings of intricate depth, such as burgeoning excitement with an undercurrent of wariness and slightly repressed giddiness. Artsy's own color changes with each new emotion, providing an interesting counterpoint to the exhibit itself. Observer smiles and says,)

Just wait until we get to the temporal poetry exhibit.

Maybe later, Pete, we're in a big mess right now.

In fact, I...wait, the external air-pressure meter on my helmet readout is going down...fast.

Milkshake looks up. The bridge is still hazy from a burnt-out console, and he can just make out a thin tendril of smoke...seeping directly into the bulkhead. As the bridge members watch, several more tendrils appear, and several more...

EVERYONE OFF THE BRIDGE!

Everybody to the emergency bridge!
Tacoman and Milkshake escorts the bridge personell into the turbolifts and are the last to leave the bridge. As the turbolifts descend, a redshirt exits from a side room on the bridge. In grand science fiction tradition, his head collapses on itself as the lack of air pressure finally makes itself known to the redshirt. Meanwhile, the turbolift has reached the emergency bridge, on deck 4. Everyone piles out and Tacoman begins to give orders.
Activate the force fields around this bridge and its independent power supply!
Steve, what's been going on around here?

boom!

That must be the bridge hull breaching.

Captain, we haven't determined what's causing this damage. The conduits could have been an isolated incident, but then they all failed in unison. But with the hull breaches...I think we might have a saboteur on board. A GOOD one.

Kiehart cursed under his breath, standing next to Tacoman. "Sir, my Danger Sense is going haywire. I agree with the Commander, but something is telling me we've got more than one, or one guy with skills beyond any human being's."

The doors to the Emergency Bridge opened and Adon entered.

Things are getting worse out there. Most of the rooms along the outer hull have been depressurized. Even if we had propultion, the ship would probably tear itself apart from the strain. We're coming apart at the seams.

It's lucky that the Crew Quarters are closer to the center, then.
I want both sensors and teams inspecting every deck to check the extent of the damage and see if they can find out who or what is causing this.
At this, Butrfli speaks up.
Commander, should I make my way to sickbay? There may be casualities.
By the way, I'm getting the same feelings that Kiehart is getting.
Tacoman: If things get worse, we may have no choice but to evacuate the ship....and the Department of Superheroics is not going to like that.

Kiehart shakes his head. "I'm going to the launch bay. I'm going to put all our fighters outside on full patrol. I'm also going to prepare the shuttles for evacuation. Just in case. Most of the escape pods were on the outer hull. Odds are they're gone too. If anybody like the Captain or Ranger have any spare suits they should start shelling them out to the crew as needed. It's time to get professional boys. No amount of jokes is gonna pull us out of this hole." Several crew members shudder. The Yellowshirt that was on the Archangel turns to Milkshake. "The day he stops making jokes is the day I worry."

Sir, I should report that I noticed a glitch in the security program just before we detected the strange readings in the plasma conduits. The glitch knocked out the security sensors on deck 6 for about half an hour.

I did some investigating and discovered that it was Colanator who caused the glitch. We lost contact with him after the conduit blew.

Think about it, who else would know the ship's systems well enough to cause this much damage in so short a time.

He hands Tacoman a PADD with all the data on it.

I recommend that you and Commander Milkshake head to the bridge and use the internal sensors to find Colanator, since you have space suits and we have lost access to the internal sensors here.

Rocket Ranger, who Adon apparently didn't notice was standing right next to him, speaks up.

Wayne is onboard the SnowCrane. I think it would be much safer if they formed the ThunderCrane and we had all non-essential personnel beam over there.

As for going to engineering....Kent is in my lab right now, putting on one of my extra sets of armor. I suggest you take him with you if you go down there.

Colanator...I can't believe it. Taconator must have changed his programming or something. He wouldn't have done it of his free will.

SSSSCRUNCH!!!

Yellowshirt: "Captain, the fighter and shuttle bays have been explosively decompressed! Magnetic docking locks are failing, our squadrons are being blown out into space! AAH!"

The console explodes, frying the yellowshirt.

Now we KNOW it's bad...that was the sensors console, too. Now the only place we can access the sensors is the bridge, which must be completely exposed to vaccuum...

Kiehart hails the Emergency Bridge from the Bay. "What the hell just happened?!? Half my people are dead, all the fighters are missing, and several Yellow Sqaud pilots are unaccounted for! Lopez and the others are safe in the control room with me, but we've lost nearly a dozen pilots and repair techs! What is going on?!?"

As they continue through the Great Art Museum, Artsy nudges Observer. "Look at that!"

Completely filling a large partitioned corner of the building is what appears to be a swarm of small, gleaming insects. The low hum and flashes of soft light they emit changes in a simple pattern and tune, but the longer Artsy watches, the more complex she realizes the pattern is--a gentle visual symphony.

"Who's directing them?" Artsy asks in a whisper.

Observer shakes his head. "No one. They're sentient--this is their art form that other species comprehend best."

The swarm gathers into a mass in the center of the room, and the curator of this display turns his attention to the small group watching. "They're going to improvise a piece now. I see you're a color-shifter," he says to Artsy. "Would you like to join them?"

The artist catches her breath, but doesn't move forward till Observer gives her a gentle shove. "Go on. I want to see this."

Artsy walks nervously forward, and in a moment is surrounded by the humming, glittering crowd. The silver net falls from her hair and it tumbles out, dancing in the wind of the symphony's motion. For a moment she stands there listening, then begins to slowly move, reaching out her hands and stepping the soft movements of a simple dance. Around her the song changes, becoming brighter and more expansive, and her colors--from pale blue to pink to yellow to brilliant gold--reflect in a cateract of gleams from the swift little artists swirling about her.

Sir, as a robot the vaccuum of space will not harm me.

Also, in the event that some thing attempts to override my programming and use me against you a failsafe will kick in. Depending on the nature of the attack, I may simply deactivate or may explode taking out the threat.

(Rob pauses as he considers what he just said)

I knew that 'tune-up' was more than just simple maintainence.

Tacoman looks at the remains of the yellowshirt
Agreed. When Yelowshirts die, things are getting out of hand.
I suppose I should show you all what I had repair crews do the last time the ship was being repaired.
Tacoman presses a button on his chair, and from all around the emergency bridge, the sound of heavy things sliding into place can be heard.
That was the sound of duranium-plotonium hull plating sliding into place. If things get worse, we can disconnect the emergency bridge from the ship, and it can become its own independent runabout. The main bridge has similar properties.
Another thing is the addition to the Crew Quarters. They can also be disconnected and used as big escape pods. They can't go to warp, but the bridges\runabots can connect to them and tow them to the nearest starbase.
Adon, contact the wanderers to see if they can help.
If things get worse, I wouldn't mind the help of the Q...or maybe Frangelica...

Another thing...
There are several escape pods in the legs of the ship. They can be released individually, or they can go as a group by removing the legs.
Steve, I have the current Cybertec Catalog with me. We should start ordering Cybersuits for the bridge crew. Also, we probably should get to the bridge to check the working sensors up there.
I assume our suits will protect us.
Rocket, perhaps you should contact the Rangers to see if they can help too.

Guy K-NIT Viewer: BORRRR-ING!

Girl K-NIT Viewer: Oh, I think the thing with Artsy and Obsy is SOOOOO sweet!

Yes, we'd better head to the bridge, before anything else breaks.

Although with communications down, I seriously doubt we'd be able to place any Cybertek orders.

Pulls out his spellbook.

..P..Q..R..Resurrect Dead!

After a few magic words and some nice FX the fried Yellowshirt comes back to life.

Just like new. Ok, on every full moon he'll need to eat some human flesh but otherwise he'll be fine. What? You're from Jupiter? Oh-oh, now that will be interesting. I hope you have a big fridge and please don't eat our Redshirts.

Jeferies tube or Turbolift, Commander?
Now, as for the placing orders...
Tacoman pulls out the Cybertek catalog, in convenient PADD form.
We can order directly from the catalog, and they'll get it...
If this is the work of Colanator, first we stop him, then we give him a heck of an upgrade... complete with a really good firewall or anti-hacking software.

Milkshake hits the turbolift button, which fails to work. He then pries open the lift doors, and nearly tumbles into the bare shaft. He looks back at Tacoman, and in unison, they say,

"Jeffries tubes."

Adon, you're in command until the Captain and I return. Keep things under control.

"Aye, Commander."

Milkshake and Tacoman open the Jeffries tube access hatch and use their jumpjets to fly into the depths of the ship...

As the two heroes make their way to the bridge, Tacoman notices something.
Steve, activate your suit's infrared scanner and look at this...notice the microfractures all along the tube here? And over here, too.
Could Colanator or whoever else did this have reprogrammed the repair nanites to help cause all this destruction?

The sound of something collapsing rang thoughout the emergency bridge and everyone found themselves drifting weightless towards the ceiling.

We're having gravity fluctuations here. The emergency gravity should have kicked in by now.

Suddenly, everyone dropped to the floor; exept for Adon, who gently drifted towards the floor.

There it goes.

I see it, Taco, but I dunno how we'll fix it. We'll find a way, though.

Rocket Ranger looks at the captain

I don't know what you meant about me bringing in Rangers to help. We don't have any contact with the B5 universe at this time, do we?

You certainly don't mean the Space Marshalls. Considering the corruption that's been going on, they'd probably try to blame all that's happened on you, and impose a heavy fine of some kind.

He thinks for a second, then gets a big grin underneath his helmet.

I just thought of something; The Wytch Queen should be somewhere near this sector. Want me to see if I can contact Captain Biggens and see if they can help?

Tacoman, who has left his comm on so that those on the Emergency Bridge can talk to him, says
You might as well, Rocket. We don't know who or what we're dealing with, and some extra help is always appreciated.
Also... if we can somehow contact the Lord of The Hamburgers...

We must try to stop those microfractures. My dear brother, get Spitty the Drooling Pokemon! His "glue" could be useful now...

I think Lord of the Hamburgers was somewhere in the vicinity of Holodeck 2 when all this started.

He looks around for a second.

I'm trying to contact The Wytch Queen right now. No luck so far; too much interference, I think....

Scene: a stadium filled with screaming fans. The lead singer of the group goes to the mike...

We'd like to thank you all for coming to our rock concert! Remember to go buy our latest album: "True Culprit: LICC Soundtrack"!!!!

exept? what is "exept"?

An exception to "except?"

Ansh and Quito are trapped in Artsy's quarters. The lights are down. Ansh ignites her lightsaber and starts to cut through the door

Lord of the Hamburgers and the Wytch Queen helping out? What's next? Elves at the battle of Helm's Deep?

Tacoman and Milkshake finally reach the bridge and look around. All looks well until Tacoman opens the door to his Ready Room. To his shock, much of the opposite wall has disappeared, caused by a major hull breach. Tacoman manages to shut the door and notices the remains of the unfortunate redshirt.
Steve, check the sensors while I look at this guy.
Tacoman checks the identity of the redshirt.
That explains it... he's from the Acme Redshirt School, and is a Ba'lon. From what I can tell, they need steady pressure around them, or they just pop, like our friend here did.

Jackson...come here, look at this.

Tacoman walks over and stares at the sensor console. On the screen is a nearly-completed sensor sweep, with a bright red-and-white flashing indicator in the middle of the ship.

After an encounter with a new enemy, I set the sensors to recognize and isolate that enemy if they reappear. Now the sensors aren't picking up any specific being, but there are tremendous levels of a rare form of radiation...unique to Lords of the Sith. And the sensors are trying to lock down the exact energy signatur-

Just then, the sensor scan completes, and a blurry sensor still appears on the screen with a caption underneath. The still picture is of a large creature swathed in black robes, ripping up deck plating on the former Spidermobile II. The caption underneath reads DARTH TERROR. Jackson recoils just a bit.

It gets worse. The radiation...is localized on the Emergency Bridge.

As Milkshake finishes speaking, the console winks out and the bridge becomes pitch black. The two heroes can feel a terrible rumbling through the deck plating, but can't identify the source, until...

Captain! The bridge runabout engines are firing! And the magnetic docking latches haven't been released, so the engines will turn this place to slag inside of a minute! We need to get out-