Last time on LICC3...

The crew, reeling from the death of two of their comrades, are now trying to pull their shattered lives and ship together.

Meanwhile, an old friend has rejoined the crew! Stay tuned for a new episode of LICC3.

Theme song plays

Daddy, can you pause the Tivo™? I need to go potty!

(Klassikos sits at a computer terminal in his quarters)

Computer, display all entries concerning the name... Roani.

Computer: Unable to comply. Many file systems have been damaged.

Hmm. I will have to conduct my research elsewhere.

(Klassikos leaves his quarters and is ready to get to his ship and fly away to other parts, when he hears of their imminent arrival at the Kesprit repair yards)

I'm sure I'll find plenty of information there.

Welcome back, Fran.

Frangelica's eyes widen as Tacoman kisses her. She staggers backwards but is too surprised to smack him. The cloaked woman wipes her mouth and gives Tacoman a suspicious glare as she listens to what he and Milkshake have to say for themselves.

Okay, very funny. Let's all play a big practical joke on Frangelica, who went back to Earth without a big goodbye and thinks she can drop in whenever she feels like it. Ha ha. I said I was sorry! What more do you want from me? I was supposed to leave New York City in a dimensional envelope for all time?

Please! "Tacoman's dead and the one who's just kissed you is really his evil twin brother from Dimension X!" How dumb do you think I am? Tacoman and Adon are immortals, remember? They can't die! And Tacoman, nothing personal, we've been friends for years, but the next time you get fresh with me I'm going to have to remember my wifely duty and smack you.

Milkshake wordlessly hits a control on his chair. From the ship's mission recorder, the entire, horrible, bloody epic plays out on the main viewscreen. Frangelica gets paler and paler as she watches. When finally it's all over, Milkshake remarks in a voice drier than the Gobi desert...

Big joke. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Tacoman looks over at Milkshake.
Should I show her my evidence?
Milkshake nods, and Tacoman touches his wrist gauntlet. His armor slides into it's approiate places, and Tacoman removes his helmet, revealing his ponytail and goatee. He rolls up the sleeves of his T-shirt, revealing his tattoos.
Now do you believe us?

Well, I said before that something is completely wrong here.

From my personal experience I know that our Tacoman is immortal. Anybody remember the Furby Wars? Many of you have seen what was happening to him then.

The second thing: From what I've heard the bodies of dead Wanderers simply vanish without leaving a trace. But Adon's body is still in the stasis chamber in our sickbay's backroom.

So what? Forgive me being not very metaphysical but parts of me are based on fuzzy logic and right now all my "Something Stinks!" warning lights are blinking.

And as for your immortals comment, immortality can mean different things. Some people might see it as not dying due to not aging, and the immortal individual might be able to die due to massive injury and the right circumstances.
Also... I aplogize again for my actions. I had thought for just a moment that you were the Frangelica of my dimension.

A funereal silence hangs over the bridge. At Tacoman's almost final scream, "Frangelica! We need you!", Frangelica went absolutely green; now she is shaking and seems kind of lost in a glassy-eyed stare. She wrenches her eyes from the small screen and stares at the new Tacoman in his unfamiliar armor. She tries and fails several times to speak.

Sorry...?

She crumples to her knees, pulls her hood over her face and disapparates. Ansh, upon entering her quarters half an hour later, finds her weeping uncontrollably.

Uh, alt-Tacoman, the Furby Wars were extremely violent. Just read the historical records from the Phantom Returns era.

Butrfli to Commander Milkshake, I've been looking over Captain Tacoman's medical files, and I've discovered something interesting...
It seems that whatever was causing his immortality wasn't perfect.
From what I've been reading, his powers have been in flux over the past couple years, and evidence shows that it's been like that for most of the time he was immortal.
Today, it happened to be on a low flux...

Kiehart sat up in the sickbay bed eating a sandwich when HoloDoc and Butrfli came over to him. "How are you doing Mr. Kiehart?" The HoloDoc asked. "OK, I guess. that surgery went quicker than I expected." "Well Ms. Butrlfi's staff helped in that regard. We should start you on physical therapy as soon as we've got all the wounded cleared But for now, you're free to roam the ship, provided you sue this cane until your full rnage of motion returns. Just in case you lose your balance." Kiehart nods. "My knees feel, um, how can I put this, a little fuzzy I guess. Is that normal?" "IT's probalby from almost a full day of no use. You should be OK once you start walking again." "Sweet deal." "So, Mr Kiehart, I understand you've been promoted to Lieutenant Commander." "Waht? I didn't hear anything about that. I hope it doesn't mean extyra jobs. I like the Flight Commander gig. I don't wanna be Second Officer or anything, I'm just not cut out for it." Butrfli chuckled slightly. "Jackson always said you were alergic to repsonsibility. No, you're not going to be 2nd Officer. Your rank just matches your title now." Kiehart shrugs. "I guess. Although the change seems to have come pretty quick." "These are weird times we live in now Jason," Butrfli says.

Milkshake listens to Butrfli's communication silently.

It just wasn't his day, I suppose. Thank you, Butrfli. If you need anything at all, don't be afraid to ask.

Milkshake closes the connection, and watches the massive orbital ship yard come closer and closer. A chirp indicates an oncoming hail, and Rikard acknowledges.

"Welcome to Kesprit, USS Spidermobile! We are open for any repair or resupply needs! Simply state your request and we will rush to accomadate you!"

This is...Captain Milkshake. We request a medium-term berth. We are in need of heavy repairs, including warp core replacement.

"Certainly sir, simply set a course to Section AB-27 and our service personnel will join you immediately."

Thanks.

Milkshake gets up, legs shaking a bit from his first genuine watch as Captain.

Lieutenant Insane, grant the service personnel permission to board. Commander Tacoman, give the personnel a rundown of our assessed damage. Payment will come through our DoS account. Jos...Number One, you have the bridge.

Aye, sir.
Lt Insane, I assume the service personnel are coming aboard by the transporter?

Rikard is mumbling to himself. He mumbles a few things before hearing Milkshake's orders.
That's exactly what I needed. To see that entire battle in its full entirety again. Thanks Captain.

Hmmm. I never knew Adon was immortal just old.

Rikard sits into the Captain's chair and lays his head back, sighing and reflecting on the past few days' events.

Geez...

Sickbay is gradually taking on a neater, more ordered appearence as the lesser-wounded are released or moved to their own quarters and the worst cases are treated. Artsy straightens from where she had bent over a younger blueshirt, talking softly to him till he fell asleep. Quito is sleeping curled up in a corner. Artsy lets her tired gaze wander the rest of the room, finding the Holodoc and Observer, among others, still busy--and Butrfli, who is at one of the consoles.

Artsy comes up quietly behind her, wanting to see how she's doing, not able to imagine what it would be like to lose someone so close. Butrfli is playing a video log over and over, her face drawn; after a few moments, Artsy realizes it is the recording of the battle with Terror. She has been working too intensely to ask many questions about the actual events, but now stands watching almost against her will. When she sees Fran and Logan thrown into another dimension, Artsy flashes a sickly shade of green and barely stops herself from crying out, not wanting to startle Butrfli.

Artsy reaches out a tentative hand towards Butrfli's shoulder, but changes her mind and walks unsteadily to Quito's corner, where she settles with her back against the wall and stares into space, sick with worry and phenomenally glad that Quito had been locked in her quarters while the attack was going on....

(Lt Commander Tacoman goes down to the transporter room)

Energising, Captain.

(In the transporter room, the repair personell beam in, and are greeted by Lt Cmdr Tacoman)

Lord of the Hamburgers walks into Sickbay, nursing an obviously injured right arm. He also has some cuts on his face, and his shirt is badly torn.

I was in one of the turbolifts when everything went haywire, and they just now got me out. I think my arm's broken. Fortunately...for me, anyway....a redshirt in front of me took most of the damage. He didn't make it out of that turbolift alive, though.

Part of the reason why Tacoman was able to survive the Furby Wars and why he had an assortment of unusual superpowers is because early in 2999 he flew through the tail of an Improbablility Comet and was exposed to higher than normal amounts of Improbability Particles. After several months the effect of these particles wore off taking with them the various superpowers and abilities he used up to and during the Furby Wars, leaving Tacoman with just his natural abilities.

(Meanwhile the shuttle that contained crewmembers Marissa & Steven journeyed after the Spidermobile's trail)

M: Typical! We stay to watch the Flurpball tournament...

S: Blurpball.

M: Who cares!?! (Sulks for a moment) The point is none of the others bothers to tell us that the Spidermobile is back & that they're leaving! Hmph! (Sulks some more) I've been on the spidermobile for 2 years and I don't get any respect! I'm still a Crewman, I haven't even been promoted to Ensign yet, & people with less time than me have been promoted to Lieutenent. Hmph! So I'm ambitious! Is that a crime? Does that make me so unlikable?

S: Uhhhhhh, welll... (See's Marissa glaring at him) No! Of course not! They just have to take the time to get to know the wonderful person you are inside!

M: They assign me the worst jobs on the ship. Clean-up the dead redshirt's remains, scrub away burns on the walls left by weapon's fire, working in the ship's laundry... Why do we even need a laundry? Can't people use the Refresher setting on their replicators? The worst part is dealing with Fran & Logan's diapers. (Shudders)

S: Spidermobile within visual.

(Onscreen is the damaged Spidemobile. Steven & Marissa sit there shocked.)

S: W... we knew it had been damaged, but...

M: But this is what happens when I'm not around! I was on vacation when the Spidermobile II crashed & now when I'm gone the Spidermobile III is almost destroyed! That's it! When we get on board I'm giving Captain Tacoman a piece of my mind!

Greetings, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the Spidership, such as it is at the moment.
I am Lt. Commander Alexander Tacoman, and I have been asked by Commander Milkshake to give you a full list of damage to the ship.
He hands them the list, including the fact that Colanator is still inside the computer and won't come out.
If you need any help, I'll be happy to oblige.

talking to SuperRobert in ZenForward
You know, there might even be a simpler explanation. Immortality is granted by the Powers That Be in the universe, right? Well, let's face it, the neverending rounds of Furby vs. Tacoman did not occur in this universe. That was all in the Phantomreturniverse, so they tell me. Fluctuating fields and improbabilty comets notwithstanding, the fact that this universe has not necessarily sworn to defend him to the death is probably what let it happen.

Cid sits silently, watching the events play themselves out. Cid hits the communicate with Starfleet button. "Captian Cid, report." Cid replies in a forlorn voice, "Captian Tacoman is dead. The Warrior Adon is also dead. Commander Milkshake has taken command. The Situation on the Spidership is mildly chaotic, but should settle down." "Ok" The Admiral replies, "When do you think they will return?" Cid chuckled and said "Two weeks to three months." "Ok".

Holodoc watches with great sadness as Cid, straitjacket on, jibbers mindlessly about "Starfleet" and "chaos" and "Captain Cid" in a corner of Sickbay.

So sad, and now these recent developments have pushed him totally over the bend, poor chap.

(A man dressed in the garb of a feathered warrior appears)

I am a warrior of the Aztecs. Now that the Keeper of legendary Taco recipes is dead, I have come to take them. Give them to me. The recipies must be returned to the Temple of the Taco gods, where a new Tacoman must be called to protect them.

Tacoman turns to Insane, who's going along with the repair crews and says
So who's comforting and talking to Frangelica? She didn't look too well when she left the bridge...

Kiehart, cane gripped tightly in one hand walks down the hall towards the turbolift. "I don't wnat a friggin' promotion. I'm gonna make sure this doesn't-" He stops when he sees a familiar face coming in his direction. He smiles. "Diana!" he shouts, waving. Diana Tomkli, a pretty blueshirted lieutenant from Biological Sciences sees him. "Well, if it isn't Jason Kiehart. Face of an angel, mouth of a sailor. You don't look too good. I saw that Darth Terror got you pretty good."

Ladies and Gentlemen....

Due to the recent developments on LICC, we have had to postpone the autograph signing by the actor who plays...er...played....Colonel Adon on the show at our location in Sheboygan.

However, in tribute of the beloved character Tacoman's death, every Wednesday for the next two months will be "3 for 1 Taco Night"!

And don't think we've forgotten about Adon. Introducing the newest addition to the Chish & Fips menu....The Wanderer Salad! Featuring a large amount of cooked wild grain rice and cauliflower on a bed of romaine lettuce with chipotle peppers and peanuts and your choice of either Ranch, Blue Cheese, or our own famous cheddar and chicken house dressing!

In addition the Chish & Fips Junior Munchkin Meals will feature a limited edition "Dead Adon" toy with removable sword and head randomly inserted into each box.

An Annoying talking bomb pops in

Hi! I'm a 30 second...

The ATB looks around and sees that now is not a good time and it vanishes.

Lord of the Hamburgers is being examined by Holodoc, who looks at the readings on his medical tricorder.

Well, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Your arm isn't broken. You just have a severe sprain. But, your index finger and thumb are broken, I'm afraid.

Lord of the Hamburgers looks disappointed.

Well, I guess I won't be throwing any Power-Burgers for awhile, then.

Later, LotH walks onto the bridge, his arm in a sling and his thumb and index finger in a splint and taped together. His facial cuts have also been cleaned up.

Well, I'm going to be out of action for a while. If no one minds, I'd like to transport over to The Wytch Queen and see if I can get a ride to Thrombia VII so I can recuperate there.

He pauses.

Don't worry. I plan on coming back once my injuries have healed.

(The three lookalike ensigns, whose shuttle arrived after the battle, have been making repairs on the Bridge)

Try it now.

Communications is working again.

There's a message. Play it.

"zzzt, because of the fine work they have been doing on the Spidermobile. Ensign Who, Ensign What & Ensign Idontknow are now promoted to Lt. junior grade..."

Yes!

Allright!

Wiigii!

"and will be transfered back into the Space Navy..."

Already?

Ah, man...

Bummer.

"unless Captain Tacoman requires their continued presence on the spidership."

!!!

Oh, fnord.

Guess this was sent before they heard.

Tacoman to Commander Milkshake, while the repair teams are doing their magic on the ship, do you mind if I go exploring the starbase?

Um, warrior dude... didn't those recipies get destroyed with the first Spidership?

Kiehart and Diana enter the bridge. Tacoman looks at him oddly, like he thinks he recognizes but can't place him. Kiehart turns to Milkshake. "So, Captain, I guess you heard about my condition by now. Assuming you haven't done so already, I'd like to recomend that Lieutenant Junior Grade Grant Lopez becoem acting Flight Commander in my absence from active duty. The Doc says it'll be a few weeks before I'm ready to fly or fight again."

*As Tacoman walks the corridors of the starbase, he is startled to discover a huge cylindrical tank full of water hovering toward him. As well as water inside the tank is a serpent-like life form, covered in shining bright green scales, and with a very prehensile tail, which even seems to have digits. Its head is on the other end of its body and it is like that of a snake, but much less repulsive. A small metallic device sticks through the front of the cylinder, which has a grille at the front and acts as a translation device. The creature speaks, and the translation comes through*

Captain Tacoman of the LICC!

*The creature starts to laugh*

I had heard a rumor that you were dead!

*It continues to laugh, but Alexander Tacoman does not seem to share his mood*

I have no idea who you are, but the rumors are true.
Captain Tacoman is dead. I am Alexander Tacoman, and I'm from another dimension. I'm not fully sure how I got here, though I do know a bright white light was involved.

I am sorry to hear that. I hope you do not have too much trouble settling in to this dimension.

My name is Teenem, my ship is also being repaired here. It can only support us Cuelay because it's completely filled with water, only now it's leaking. You may have seen the ice floating around nearby space.

Commander Milkshake's door dweedles.

Milkshake? You up? Can I talk to you?

Yes, come in, please.

Frangelica enters, and sees a bleary-eyed Milkshake in a robe over pajamas, slumped in an easy chair. He looks like he's been trying to sleep, and failing miserably at it. He also speaks like he's been awake for days on end, which isn't too far from the truth

Please...have a seat. Before you say anything, I...really have to apologize for my bluntness after I showed you that log. I was being very insensitive...

Thank you, Teenem. I hope I do well here, too.
If you're curious about how Captain Tacoman died, I'm sure that the news will get out soon. But if you must know, he was in a battle with a evil character named Darth Terror, who was inhabiting the body of Adon, a member of the LICC, and died from massive injury.
Cuelay? Hmm.. I've heard of the species... they inhabited my dimension, but their planet was conqured by the O'kaks. Several ships managed to get away, and as of when I was brought here, were part of the battle to liberate Earth...
If memory serves, your ships have heavy, thick hulls to support all the water, right?
By the way, has a member of your species ever thought of joining the LICC?

Rikard sat on the bridge, staring down at the PADD in hand. It contained the names of the six Yellow Squad pilots and ten Red Squad pilots that had died when the fighter and shuttle bay had depressurized. While the two auxiliary squadrons were under Kiehart's command, Rikard was considered the squadron leader of both and it was his responsibility to send the letters. He sighed. The Red pilots had no family but the Yellow.... This would be the first time he ever had to write any of these letters.

Lt. Thompson, I'll be in the Captain's ready room. You have the bridge.

He entered the ready room and sat behind the desk for the first time. He activated the screen facing him and began to type. "
To Mr. Robert and Dr. Susan Stanton, it with great sadness and regret that I inform you that your daughter..."

A lavender waveform appears and collapses.

Hi guys! I had to finish grading term papers at Cambridge. Did I miss much?

Looks at the shock/horror/whatever on the bridge crew faces. Sees the damage on the bridge. Does a double-take.

What the H*LL happened here?

Goes over to the remains of his Science station and manages to get parts of it working.

Computer, show a brief summary of activity while I was gone.

Looks into his holoviewer. After a few minutes, he falls back into his chair, ashen-faced.

Dear G-d, how could this happen?

If your words are true, then the recipies are lost to living men. I will report this tragedy to the Elders of Taco. May Quezelcola guide you.

Donna is in the mourge. The remains of Tacoman and Adon are in those wall file cabinate thingys. Wherever Adon's weaponry is, it is not visable. As a trained enchantress, her senses detect the evil spirits that have crowded around the two bodies, rejoicing over their ultimate victory. The ghouls took several hours before they attacked, having been tricked before with these two. They attacked Tacoman's corpse with glee, having been denied it for so long. Like with all bodies, it will soon rot and decay as the result of their attacks. Adon's however, was being protected. By what she knew not. It could be that a Wanderer never really dies, it could be that his Body cannot die until his soul does, it could be some form of socery that she didn't know of. There was so little she knew of Wanderers. Her master mostly taught her swordplay, not any of the order's history. She thought to herself "I am now the strongest warrior in the universe." But it was not a boast, or a triumph, but a realization that she was the thin red line between order and chaos. And it scared her. But she knew that deep within her, if only at the genetic level, she was Adon's next of kin. She would havbe to carry on the mission, it was her not her destiny, or her right, or her priviliege. It was her duty to fight in the name of the great warrior. She began to cry, as it became clear to her now. Everything. Life, death, strenght, power, truth, honor, and above all else, courage.

Aztec Warrior, I am Butrfli, Tacoman's significant other. He told me nothing about being the protector of Taco Recipies, but that doesn't mean he wasn't. He left a multitude of personal files, and perhaps what you seek can be found in those files. His cybersuit, which is now just an empty shell, might hold the password to his files.

Kiehart entered the Captain's ready room and placed a hand on Rikard's shoulder. "Hey, I just heard about Red Squad. In all the chaos I didn't even notice. One of my Banshees got killed too. Ensign Huang. He used to be in Yellow Squad, but transferred after you promoted one of the shuttle pilots." "I remember him. Big history buff." Kiehart smiled. "Yeah, he used to bore us all the time with all his History 101 at Lunar U stories." Rikard sighed. "I suppose I should write his parents too." "No, I'll do it. He was one of my kids. I was just about to promote him too. Anyway, I'm here for a more upbeat reason. I was wondering if you would back me in convincing Milkshake to give everyone who didn't make it posthumous promotions. Even the Captain and Adon. Vice Admiral Tacoman and Captain Adon have nice rings to them don't you think?"

(Finally, sickbay is quiet, with the handful of remaining patients fast asleep on the biobeds. Holodoc busies himself by running a sterilization field over his various instruments. Observer cleans his hands in the small sonic sink and then walks over to where Artsy is humming a lullaby to the dozing Quito. The young artist smiles wanly at Observer as he pulls a chair close. Observer whispers so as not to wake the child.)

How are you feeling, Artsy?

On the bridge of The Wytch Queen, Captain Biggens is sitting in the command chair, going over some data on a PADD he is holding. He looks as if he is in deep thought, but after a few seconds he puts away the PADD and looks up.

Switch the viewscreen to port view and give me magnification factor 4.

A crewmember complies. The viewscreen picture switches, and shows nothing but empty space. Captain Biggens looks closely for several seconds.

Hmmm....from the data, I could have sworn that there was something there.

Just then the First Officer, Commander Christina Hendrix, walks over. She is in her early 30's, with short blonde hair and green eyes, and is wearing a uniform similar to Captain Biggens', except the piping on her sleeves is blue instead of green.

Captain, I've just received word that the reactor coolant has been refilled. Reserves have been restored, too.

Captain Biggens looks at her.

What about the repairs?

The Commander sighs.

Underway, but they'll take a couple of hours longer than we expected. The techs discovered that our primary Kesselbaum Wave Refractor has some stress fractures in it.

The Captain doesn't look happy.

Very well.

He stands up and looks at the Commander.

I'm going to go see if Captain Milkshake would be so kind as to let me visit the spidership. Until I return, Commander Hendrix, you have the bridge.

Captain Biggens and Commander Hendrix exchange salutes, then he exits the bridge.

Artsy shrugs, but her green-tinted silver has lightened at Observer's approach. "It's not every day you have the best time of your life while the rest of your friends are fighting for their lives--and dying....." She rubs her hand over her face and drops her gaze to the floor. In the silence that follows, Observer leans down and rests his hand on her shoulder.

Artsy's color changes at the touch to pure dark silver and she looks for a moment as if she is going to cry again. But she straightens up, takes a deep breath, and looks at Observer. "I think I need to make it real. I need to make something. Maybe for the memorial service. Could you--watch Quito for me? If you need to do something, I can take her back with me, but I'm afraid I won't pay enough attention to her while I'm working." But even with the urgency of the artist in her eyes, she stays there a few moments longer in the safety of Observer's presence....

Certainly, I'll take care of Quito. Go right ahead.

"Thanks." Artsy tries to keep a slow pace on the way out of Sickbay, but by the time she hits the corridor she is running and isn't visible till she enters her own empty quarters. The door still bears scars from Ansh's lightsaber, but Artsy doesn't pay attention. In the middle of the room she stands still for a moment, eyes closed, flickering through a crazy range of colors, twisting her ring. Finally she sighs and the color change slows a little. "What would be best?" she whispers to herself. "What would be worthy?" Quick feet take her to her satchel, and even quicker fingers begin to work, fashioning something with meaning from the terrible events of the past day....

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

Yes, the hulls are very thick. I don't think any Cuelay have ever thought of joining the LICC, as we are not suited to an oxygen atmospheric environment and would have to spend all the time in these tanks.

It's been nice meeting you, Tacoman.

*The cylinder tank glides away down the corridor*

He should have told no one of the recipies, nor have written them down anywhere. I know not what the sacred Taco does, for only he who has eaten of one knows of their effects. Did he wear a symbol resembling a half moon made out of gold? For within that box lies the secret. It will only open on command of the Tacomen. They return to Taco Mountian when they die, or so say my people.

If he had to be a parallel universe version of Tacoman, why couldn't he be named something else?

LICC really needs a Chimichanga Man, or maybe a Lady Guacamole!

Because that would be a Tacoman from a parrael universe, not from a alternate universe.

Butrfli: Not that I noticed. Of course, he may have been wearing it within his Cybersuit, or had it on his other clothing...
I know his cybersuit had buttons to summon a dimensional pocket or two, but I've never actually seen the controls... Hold on, the suit was put in storage in the morgue. Let me get it.
Butrfli rushes to the morgue's storage and grabs the suit. On her way out, she enters the morgue, goes up to Tacoman's slab, and gently touches it. She then returns to Aztec Warrior.
Well, here's the suit. If it needs to be checked, then by all means, let's check it....
Meanwhile, on the repair base, Tacoman wanders about, watching the various ships being repaired. After a while, a hyperactive child comes running by and crashes into Tacoman. Tacoman seems to recognize the child, but can't immediatly place the face. The kid is wearing a monogramed cape with the letters CL on them.

Yes, Tacoman and Adon both deserve the promotions. They also deserve much more. Still, it would be a good way to honor them; their accomplishments. Have you brought it to his attention yet?

Hi Captain Tacoman!!

Tacoman looks down in shock at the young superhero. He removes his helmet, kneels down in a respectful manner and says
Greetings, your majesty.

Hahaha! What do you mean? It's me, Rusty! Comet Lad!

Oh...
You see, I am Alexander Tacoman, and from another dimension.
Where I come from, you are Prince Rustmond, of the Eurasian Kingdom on Earth. Luckily, that's one area the O'kaks hadn't gotten to yet.
Tacoman touches the communicator that Commander Milkshake gave him.
Lt. Commander Tacoman to Commander Milkshake, I'm talking to a kid here who says his name is Comet Lad. Does the name ring a bell?

Kiehart shakes his head. "He's in his quarters. I figured he should have some time alone first. And so should you. I'll take off. We can meet up again later."

"This is Ensign Yellowshirt. Commander Milkshake is in his quarters and has asked not to be disturbed. Shall I patch you through to Commander Rikard?"

Sure, you might as well.
Hold on.. I'm trying to reach someone about getting you on the ship...

Meanwhile news of the death of Adon & Captain Tacoman, as well as reports of damage to the Spidermobile, have been crisscrossing subspace and not all those who heard about were saddened.

Several of LICC's enemies had heard the news and began making plans to take advantage of the situation.

Several hyperspace rifts open near the Kesprit station and out of them pour the Frogships of the HyperTortuga pirates firing at any and all ships, but the majority of their shooting is at the damaged Spidermobile & the station.

Just then, a fleet of Terran ships drops out of warp to protect its protectorate, Kesprit, and beats back the small Frogship force..

Tacoman notices the ships firing on the station and searches his pockets. Finding a data chip with details of weaponary from his dimension, Tacoman flags down one of the repair people.
...and if you could give this to the crew that's working on the Spidership. It contains the schemetics of weapons and shields that could help with the fight against evil. Thanks.
The crewperson nods and rushes out of the room. Tacoman looks down at Comet Lad.
Now, I guess we should get to the Spidership ourselves, huh kid?

Actually, sir, after that Q man appeared and made everyone disappear, I somehow got transported to this weird planet but I found some cool guys and now I'm a member of the Team of Awesome Ultra-Heroes! Thanks anyway, and say hi to Mr. Milkshake!

Comet Lad waves and runs off

Out of hyperspace comes a black ship which looks astonishingly like a beetle. On board, a square-jawed hero type sits in a captain's chair on a dark blue bridge. He is Captain Laserman

"By the forces of brightness, what are those things?" he asks in astonishment, his voice several decibels above adequate.

"According to records," reports a science officer with forehead ridges, "They are frogship fighters. Our enemies, I might add."

"I can see that!" the captain yells back. "They're firing on the repair yards!"

The ship is hit by frogship weapons, it shakes under their force

"Return fire!" Captain Laserman yells.

"But, sir!" protests the science officer, "We are heading for repair ourselves."

"We are needed to protect those on that space station. We are superheroes, are we not? And is it not our duty to put ourselves in the path of fire in order to defend those wihtout our gifts?" As he says all this he makes ferocious gestures with his arms, and there sems to be no sound other than his voice. "So, look out, Frogships! Here comes the T.R.A.S.H.*!"

*Team of Really Amazing Super Heroes

Later it was determined that the Earth fleet was simply a nervous hallucination suffered by all involved.

Kesprit NEVER lets Earth's military protect it. Too proud, you see.

Tacoman arrives at the Spidership and overhears somebody talking about the fighters. Interested, Tacoman wanders down to the fighter bay area. He steps inside, looking at the fighters, both damaged and undamaged, and then his head turns to look at something. The camera angle changes to show him looking at Adon's fighter.
My god.. it's a Bermin Industries Robofighter! Who owns this, and would they let me have a spin in it?

"Ah, Yes. This Armor is built around the "Manacle of the Taco" It shall point the way to the Golden Taco." He motions to Butrfli to follow him, and the manacle begans to glow. He waves it around, until it becomes the strongest and he follows that direction.

You know.. the odd thing is that I think he bought this armor from a company called Cybertec that sells products from all over the multiverse...
Of course, that doesn't mean he added things to it...

The phone rings and the Evil Executive picks it up.
Hello? Yes, this is EE... Oh, hello, J.B.!... What?.... OK, yeah.... uh huh... yeah... yessir... uh huh... right... got it!

He hangs up the phone.

BRITNEY!

The Evil Executive's secretary appears.

Find the writers who came up with that Generic Evil Villain guy, and also the TRS Auditor and \2[FIRE THEM!!!!} They're boring and going nowhere, and whenever they appear, the ratings drop by 10 points!

Captain Biggens has just beamed over to the spidership when he hears the commotion. A blueshirt fills him in on what is happening, and graciously offers to show him to the bridge. As soon as he enters the bridge, blueshirt beside him, Captaib Biggens speaks.

If they think this is going to be an easy fight, then they best think again!

=/\=Commander Hendrix, have Javelin fighter squadrons Hurricane and Tempest launch immediately, and help defend the spidership. Bring the ship's beam weapons online and use them sparingly. No torpedoes or missiles are to be used under any circumstances!

Commander Hendrix (over the comm): Aye-aye, sir. Shall I have the Shadowbat crew on standby, as well?

Captain Biggens: Yes, but don't have them launch unless absolutely necessary! Biggens, out.=/\=

Captain Biggens turns to Lt. Commander Rikard.

The Shadowbat is a new experimental hybrid fighter we're testing. Unfortunately, we only have two of them and one is in the process of having its weapons upgraded.

He looks around a bit.

I always wanted to visit your ship. Too bad it had to be under such grim circumstances.

The Javelin fighters launch into action. Each ship is black and purple in color, and of a sleeker design than the Banshee fighters that LICC use. In the cockpit of the lead fighter, Lt. Commander Michael "Gremlin" Garrison gives orders to the other pilots over the comm-system.

Baker, take Hurricane and patrol near the spidership. The rest of Tempest...come with me!

The fighters break off into two groups of a dozen fighters each. Garrison's group heads off in a different direction than the other squadron.

Attack pattern Primus!

Garrison's squadron swarms over one of the Frogships and blows it to pieces with a constant barrage of pulse-lasers.

Sensor Scans indicate species 2343 activity in unimatrix 470. Three Borg cubes from unimatrix 245. Neutralize the Terran Ships, tractor them, and reutrn to Transwarp

(The Borg then procede to attack the Fleet sent out agaist the Frog ships, abduct it, and return to the Delta Quadrant.)

After finding out that one of the Terran ships is under command by a descendant of Captian Janeway the Borg return the fleet as quickly as possible to Kesprit and escape to the Epsilon Quadrant.

That was close!

..and if they won't let me fight in it, then find me your best fighter shuttle and let me show you what I can do!

In bay 47 of the station a recently recovered & repaired antique Dogstar fighter comes to life. Shocking all the engineers.

A fight? A battle? I'm the best fighter ever!

At... at least that information is recorded in my memory chips.

Fragments of data begin playing in the robot ship's mind
"Cyberian forces..."

"Tin Canus help!"

"Wolf! I'm coming!"

Tin Canus turns it's attention back to current events

Well does someone want to pilot me or do I go by myself.

Tacoman looks up.
Did anybody else hear that? It sounded like a fighter wanting to be flown...
Hmm.. probably just my imagination.

"Milkshake to bridge, what's going on? What's the situation?"

You've always wanted to visit the ship? You could have over the past few days while we were coming to the base and repairing.

Rikard turns his attention to his tactical officer (I assume Insane isn't back on the bridge yet).

Hail those Frog ships.
Ensign Randart: No response sir.
Rikard: Fine open a channel.
Randart: Channel open.
Rikard: Hi, this is the LICC and ESG Spidermobile to the attacking Frogships. Is there any chance you guys could put your attack off for a few more days. You see, we're kind of having an off day today and-
He pauses, realizing how dumb his request must sound.
Never mind. Forget it. Cut the channel. Ensign Martens, separate docking clamps and take us out of this base.
Martens: But sir, repairs aren't complete. If we engage in battle now...
Rikard: Ensign, we're a sitting duck in this repair facility. At least out there, we can fight them off. We're the LICC, I think we can handle a few Frogships. Let's go, that's an order.
Martens: Aye sir.
Rikard: Okay. Red Alert! Shields up. Ready weapons. All pilots, to your fighters and speeders. Captain Milkshake to the bridge. Time to show these Frogs that now was a very bad time to attack us.

Milkshake enters the bridge, clad in marine fatigues instead of his armor, and takes the command chair.

Josh, what's our situation?

The fighter bay becomes abuzz with activity as the order for pilots to get to their ships is given. The man Tacoman has been speaking with turns to him and says
You say you want to take a fighter out there? Well, now's your chance. I'm part of Red Squad, but I can't fight today because of the broken arm I got during Darth Terror's assault. You can take my place for this battle.
The pilot points to the Red Squad area, and the speeder he was supposed to pilot.
Good luck, and bring her back in one piece.
Tacoman: Thanks. I'm sure I will.
Pilot: Hey Commander Jenikns! This guy'll be in my place for the battle!
With that, Tacoman rushes to the speeder and get inside. His eyes gleam as he hears that this is considered to be the most advanced speeder to ever be in battle.
Red 14 to Red leader, ready to depart!

(During the fight Insane flies out of the Spidership's shuttle bay in his personal craft, and fires on three frogships in rapid succession. The three ships follow his lead as he diverts them away from the Repair Facility)

If you want us, come and claim us!

(He flies straight between two of the Frogships, and they fire on each other, damaging their shields and weapons systems. Insane then fires some more, and their hulls breach, making large holes next to their warp engines which smoke emerges from. But his ship is hit from the back by fire from the third frogship. He holds perfectly still as frogship C flies closer toward him, then jerks the direction control upward just as both Frogship C and Frogship A [which was in front of him] fire. The two ships not only damage each other with phaser fire, but collide. Frogship A is left a lifeless hulk in space, with B and C severely crippled)

(Klassikos, holding a PADD, runs into a room on the repair facility starbase. It is filled with people sitting at computers, and there are also a few bookshelves filled with tomes. One or two computers are unoccupied, and he sits at one, searching for the name... Roani.)

"Ross O. Roani, AKA The San Francisco Cheat..." I don't think so, but I'll make a note of it anyway.

(Cut to a scene of a hooded, cloaked humanoid with a metal plate covering his face and gloves on his hands, standing on a desert background)

"The man called himself Roani."

(Cut back to Klassikos)

Put that in.

(Cut to a fight on a ship. One man stops and stares ahead)

"I caught a glimpse of him. He appeared to be Roani, dressed in the same costume."

(Cut back to Klassikos)

And that. This could take some time... it's like researching the history of a legend.

Tacoman, given permission, roars out of the fighter bay and heads towards an undamaged Frogship. He expertly dodges and weaves around a multitude of weapons fire and other things that come his way. When he reaches a Frogstar ship, he fires every weapon in his borrowed speeder, causing a hole in both the shields and the ship. The hole is large enough that Tacoman flies through it, still firing his weapons and causing massive damage and explosions through out the Frogship. An explosion on the other side of the Frogship heralds another large hole, which Tacoman flies out of, and the Frogship explodes behind him.
YEE HAA!!!
Over the Comm System: You have a Frogstar fighter ship on your tail.
Tacoman: Roger.
Tacoman loops around, but the fighter stays close. He activates the rear weapons and fires on the fighter, causing it to explode.
Got ya!
Hmm... what does this Polymorph weapon do?
He finds out soon enough, as another fighter ducks in front of him. He fires the weapon, and the fighter turns into a bowl of peanuts. He continues to fire, and the bowl turns into, in sucession, a car, a large cat, and finally, a small aquarium, containing a very suprised Frogstar pilot. Tacoman blasts it into oblivion.
Now that is a heck of a weapon.

The Javelin fighters split off and start attacking different Frogships instead of ganging up on them. One of the Frogships fires a missile at a Javelin, but the pilot outmaneuvers the missile and leads it right into the path of another Frogship, which is blown to pieces by the missile.

"Gremlin" Garrison's voice comes over the comm-systems of the Javelins, and of the LICC fighters.

Those Frogships aren't too hard to beat, but it looks like there's another wave coming in. Do you LICC guys have any torpedoes on those fighters?

Before anyone can say anything, "Gremlin" notices two enemy fighters heading right toward the one Lt. Commander Tacoman is piloting. "Gremlin" takes one of the fighters out with a shot that blows the cockpit apart. The other fighter manages to fire at Lt. Commander Tacoman's speeder, but misses. "Gremlin" doesn't; his shot blows the enemy fighter's engine apart.

Tacoman checks his instruments in order to find the name of the pilot. He gets on the comm and says
Nice shooting, "Gremlin." There's some ribbiters on your tail, though.
Tacoman loops around so that he's following the Frogship Fighters. He rapidly fires, taking out one fighter and causing two others to crash into each other. Another fighter is hit in the engine and cockpit, causing it to crash into a Frogship.
Now that's fun!

[Aztec Warrior & Butrfli follow the trail and encounter a monkey in a taco suit]

Hahahahahaha, you are too late, Aztec Warrior! I now possess the Taco Recipes and I'm using them to make...

Banana Tacos!!!

Hahahahahaha!

[The costumed primate then makes like a banana and splits]

Butrfli looks around and then at the rapidly departing monkey
Ok.. so how did we get here?
Banana Tacos..sounds interesting, actually...
Meanwhile, in the battle, Tacoman continues to elude and destroy fighters. Two Frogstar Fighters approach, one from ahead and one from behind. As they fire, Tacoman ducks and weaves until they're both in line with each other. He then departs, leaving the two ships to shoot at, and eventually crash into each other.
Another one bites the dust!

"Gremlin" Garrison executes a classic Barrel Roll as he attacks a Frogstar and finally destroys it with a volley of shots to the underside.

Tempest and Hurricane, regroup. We're going to see if we can put an end to this once and for all!

All of the Javelin fighters join together in a wing formation.

Alright, lets show these pirates what we're made of! No mercy; if they hail and surrender, blast them anyway!

Milkshake and Rikard coordinate the Spidermobile fighter squadrons on the bridge. The bridge crew is doing their best to get the Spidermobile shielded, armed and in the battle, but the damage to the ship is hindering their efforts. After one broadcast of attack orders...

Beeeyooowwwwooop...

Total darkness.

Report!

Rikard's voice comes through the blackness

"Must be an EPS failure."

Emergency power!

"Working on it, Captain."

As they wait in the dark, Milkshake's mind wanders to the conversation he had with Frangelica, about an hour earlier...

Frangelica enters Milkshake's quarters, and sees a bleary-eyed Milkshake in a robe over pajamas, slumped in an easy chair. He looks like he's been trying to sleep, and failing miserably at it. He also speaks like he's been awake for days on end, which isn't too far from the truth...


Please...have a seat. Before you say anything, I...really have to apologize for my bluntness after I showed you that log. I was being very insensitive...

Don't mention it. I can't believe I actually laughed in your faces. Milkshake, can you ever forgive me for what I've done?

Don't think anything of it, Frangelica. I...wish it was a joke myself. Or a dream, a bad dream. Are you handling it all right?

Handling? What's to handle? I betrayed you! All of you!

Starts to say... "It would have been better if I'd never even founded..." but stops herself, because comments like that have a way of altering reality and making bad storylines.J

Frangelica...? No, how can you say that? You didn't betray us, you bear none of the responsibility! Can't you see that? It's not your fault, none of it!

Hello, JB? EE here. Howsabout we get some writers off the street and have them write a "what-if" storyline. Yeah, kind of like that "Friends" thing, back in the early 21st Century. I figure we could do what if Francineica, or whatever her name is, had never founded the LICC.

Great! I'll get the writers on it for Sweeps!

The former captain sits down on Mlikshake's night table and buries her face in her hands.

I bear the responsibility of bringing you all together and then leaving you whenever I felt like it was time for a change. I bear the responsibility of starting us after Darth Viper so long ago and then going off to save the world somewhere else while the rest of you finished the job. You all trusted me. Tacoman trusted me. And when he needed me, I was off doing something else, and now he's dead and his children, my godchildren, are god-knows-where. Another charge I've failed in.

Did you know that when I was a little girl, I wanted to become the wisest and most powerful superhero in the universe? Well, here I am, and I've got the powers of a Q, I've been an acolyte of the Crystal Guardians, I'm the pride of the University, and an upstanding member in half a dozen different Hordes of Light. And what do I have to show for it? I can't keep my hands in anything. I have a husband on one end of the galaxy and a crew on the other, two dead friends and two missing godchildren.

I'm the most insubstantial intergalactic dilettante in the galaxy, Milkshake, and I pity you all for taking up with me.

Milkshake's thoughts are momentarily interrupted by...

Emergency power is up!
The emergency lights come on.
Auxiliary should be back in a minute or two. I don't think we're going to be able to bring main power back online for at least another hour.

All right, good job. Helm, position us about 250 km away from the nearest attacking fighter. We need instant communications but protection from crossfire as well.

Number One, divert all weapons power into shields, trying to fight on auxillary would finish us.

Insane, re-establish the fighter command network. Our boys are starting to be ripped to shreds from what I can see. And someone put the tactical display back up.

*over comm* All fighters follow me! I will take the designation Alpha Leader. Form pattern theta.

(The fighters come into formation behind Insane's distinctive ship)

Captain Biggens turns to Rikard.

Might I suggest that your forces and mine coordinate their attacks? That might be more effective than engaging them separately.

=/\=Commander Hendrix, engage engines and bring the ship within 50 kilometers of the spidership. Do whatever you can to provide defense. Don't let any Frogships get past The Wytch Queen!=/\=

He turns toward Rikard.

We have an experimental device onboard that amplifies the shield power of any ship within 50 kilometers by a factor of five. But it's only effective for a short period of time before it needs to recharge.

Tacoman to Insane and "Gremlin," I'm ready for the final fight!
Tacoman pushes a few buttons, bring his shields and weapons to their highest power.
I can go after any Frogstar Fighters that escape your onslaught!

Uh, just who is "Number One", now that Milkshake is (Acting) Captain?

It's Rikard! Pay attention next time!

It appears that Lt. Insane has taken command of the fighters out there. Anyway, as for you shield device, if it can amplify us for more than five minutes, we should have enough power to reroute to weapons and take care of these Frogships.

Looks over at Milkshake.
What do you think Cap?

=/\= Captain, now that we don't need the provisional warp drive anymore I have connected the Pokemon treadmill to the shield generators and the little folks are running. But I really don't recommend getting hit more than a few times!

Fine, transport over the shield device and get it activated right away. We'll linger in the fray as long as we can, but when that device runs out, we'll have to rely on the Furbys' rig to get us safely away. This should even the odds.

While Jadlad sleeps in Sickbay, he dreams.

Hold your seats folks, here we go again
My name is Jaad' Lad Hu'tt
I work on a Spidership III that's quite large
My job is real swell, I fixed my bell
Till the Spidership III broke down

The guy who worked with me
Was a Furby with a lavender eye
Around we whirled we winked at girls
Till the Spidership III broke down

Oh they called me wacky
They think I am goony
Ah just because I'm happy isn't a sign I'm looney tooney

Oh when they say I'm nutsy
I say they're name is Jane
Please pass the laundry I'm in a lot of pain

Oh you can't bounce a pizza
Though try with all your might
EMH turn down the comlink I want to fly a kite

You don't know why I'm dizzy
And do the things I do
Maybe I've got a screw loose and that's a really big shoe

It's the Spidership III broke down
Yes the Spiderrrrrrrrrrrrship III broooooooke doooowwwn
Good evening friends!

Captain Milkshake, I'm afraid the device isn't transportable. Its hooked up to our ship's systems. We have to be within a certain distance of any ship that we want the device to enhance the shields of. And that range, as I said, is 50 kilometers or less.

He pauses.

The device is effective for roughly 7.3 minutes, give or take a couple of seconds, then requires 2 hours to recharge. As I said, its an experimental device. The next version should have a faster recharge time.

Meanwhile, The Wytch Queen has moved within range of the spidership, and has its weapons armed. A trio of Frogships make an attempt to attack the spidership, but the guns of The Wytch Queen blast them to pieces before they can reach firing range.

Everybody wants to do the...
Everybody wants to do the...
Everybody wants to do the Michigan Ra... KABOOOM!!!

Aaaargh. They're not in as bad a shape as we thought. They've destroyed half of our Frogstar Fighters & three-quarters of our Frogships.

(a dark, wispy presence coalesces into a vaguely hominid form)
They are replaceable. Our backers are paying us well.

Aye. We had the manpower to launch an attack anywhere at a moment's notice. But because we didn't retreat when they started shooting back...

(a smoky black tendril wrapped around Queeq's throat & lifted him into the air)
Do you think I'm a fool? Ships are replaceable. Men are replaceable!

(it drops Queeq)
Each of our backers think they are the only one giving us money & resources. Far more than they could have possibly dreamed. They came to us partly because we could launch an attack, but mostly because our attack couldn't be traced back to them. And if LICC wasn't as weak as they hoped, they wouldn't lose any of their forces in the venture.
As far as they are concerned we are expendable. And because we are pirates several of our government backers would like to see us wiped out.
I've decided that it would be in our best interest if they believed we were nearly wiped out.

(Queeq still gasping)
B... but... all those ships...?

Unimportant. Redundant.

(it pushed a button and on a screen was the image of a fleet of twice as many ships as had been lost)

How?

Some of the payment was in artifacts. One piece was a missing component that I have needed for some time. When combined with the other parts I had managed to 'acquire' through the years it created a ship manufacturing device... of Ancient Ones' technology!*

(the dark presence glances at the information on the LICC battle)
Time to wrap this up. But we may as well make it look good. Send in the Bullfrog Bomber.

Yes, sir.

* see LICC XIII, XXIV & XXV

While based on the original Frogship design the Bullfrog Bomber is a larger, more heavily armored ship designed for launching a multiple, high powered warheads, either against a planet or against an enemy fleet. Although the appearance of a fully loaded Bullfrog Bomber has lead to nicknames such as the 'Porcupine' & the 'Space Urchin'.

Did you know that 'Gremlin' Garrison comes with a warning label?

No, what does it say?

Do not expose to sunlight.
Do not get wet.
Do not feed after midnight.

Tacoman acvitaves his comm system and says
Most frogs will croak eventually. These just happened to do it early.
Just then, the Bullfrog Bomber appears.
Just another frog to squish, I guess...
With that, Tacoman streaks towards the Bomber, firing his weapons along the way.

(Quito opens one sleepy eye. Instead of the sterile and bright surroundings of sickbay, the room is subtly lit. Upon awakening, she sweeps the room with her thoughts and finds only the calm mind of Observer close by. Observer had carried her to his quarters and put her to sleep in the bed. Light filters in from the living room, and Quito gets up and pads quietly in that direction.

Observer is seated at the small dining table near the replicator. An assortment of odd pieces of wood cover half the table, and an unrolled piece of leather with pockets full of little tools rests on the edge. The watcher is intent on something he is doing with the wood. Quito watches curiously. Sometimes Observer picks up a tool and shaves off a bit of wood, sometimes he saws through a small piece, and sometimes he uses a tiny hammer and chisel to tap something into place. Finally he smiles, and begins to put his tools away. Quito inches forward, trying to get a look at the table when Observer, back still turned to her, speaks.)

Good morning, Quito, I hope you slept well.

(Quito smiles shyly.)

Good. I have something for you here.

(Quito looks surprised, and runs over to the table. In admist the wood pieces and shavings a doll, beautifully carved and assembled, lies. It is as if a young girl, dressed in clothing that had been common 2 millennia before, had been instantly turned to wood. Observer picks it up and bends the joints in the doll, which have been made with pegs instead of nails and are deftly hidden. The doll seems to dance in Observer's hands. The watcher smiles and imitates the voice of a little girl.)

Hello! Are you my mommy? I'm so glad you're here!

(Quito reaches for it, and Observer hands the doll to her. Despite being made of wood, the doll is as soft as a real human would be. The child cradles the doll in her arms and looks lovingly at it, then looks at Observer, her face beaming in appreciation.)

I'm glad you like it. Would you like some breakfast?

(Quito nods)

TWO breakfasts? Of course, we mustn't let you both go hungry!

What about second breakfast?

In Artsy's quarters, the disheveled artist leans tiredly against the wall. For a moment her critical gaze sweeps the new object in front of her, then she turns away with a sigh--her color plain white, edged with silver--and speaks into the intercom on her wall. "Artsy to Observer."

The answer is swift, and the words are accompanied by vivid images from Quito. "Artsy, we're just eating breakfast. Have you had yours yet?"

Artsy laughs at the happy flood of emotion from the little telepath. "No. I'm not done with my project yet. I just wanted to make sure Quito was behaving herself. If not, you can bring her back to my quarters."

Quito's sending is wriggling and annoyed....

Both the Wytch Queen and the Spidership unleash barrages of their weaponry at the Bullfrog Bomber, the the Frogship's shields hold.

Um, anyone know what that is?

A redshirt hands him the Encyclopedia Unversalis and points to the entry.
Oh, thank you Ensign.
The redshirt nods, turns, and dies on the spot from the author's lack of ideas on the cause of his death.

Tacoman circles the Bomber, firing everything he's got. He gets an idea and activates his general comm.
I've got an idea... if all the fighters, speeders, and ships that have a Polymorph weapon were to fire on the Bomber, we might make a dent, or maybe more!
Also... I'm getting an indication on my speeder controls... something about the approach of the next board, whatever that means...