Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

(A man with a half mask on his face comes out & sings)

The Phantom of the Empire is here!
Inside your boards!

(Takes a bow & exits, stage left)

So how long until LICC 3 catches up with us?

About 2 weeks.

Schizo ---------------WIIGII!
Nitcentral Diety
4747 Posts ----------It's so kewl to have this back! Especially as it looks like LICC
--------------i---------is becoming more serious & storyline driven.

--------------i---------Hooray for whacky chaos!!!

--------------i---------Schizo
--------------i---------"My names are legion." - Me
--------------i---------Rikard & Enesku forever!
--------------i---------"Schizo is nucking futz" - Everyone

--------------i---------LICC Code:
--------------i---------WC+++++++ R&E+++++++ I&D+++ SRD+++++++++++++

d00d5!

CHAOTICA has returned! Soon this board will embrace destruction at the hands of my Death Ray!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Not so fast, Chaotica!

Lunzak, fire the Death Ray!

(The Death ray fires a beam of energy at Proton's rocketship, causing Captain Proton and Buster Kincaid to sprawl around the floor in a style reminiscent of the Original Series of Star Trek)

Did somebody mention chaos?


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The War Against Newbies

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[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ The View Askew WWWBoard ] [ FAQ ]

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Posted by BigYT at modem011-sleepyeye.lakes.com on March 28, 2002 at 13:51:04:


Everywhere I go, I hear people talk about the "newbie problem". And not just on the VA board either folks. I used to chat on Yahoo! Chat quite often (I had no life...) in their joke of a roleplaying section for a good year at least. And even I got called a newbie once in a while. Newbie this, newbie that.

But what is a newbie?

For me, the general definition of newbie is something that is new to the area, club, or whatever gathering that'd already been firmly in place for an extended period of time. Newbies need help learning the ropes, the lingo, and getting connections in their new, unfamiliar setting. Their are secret ways and customs of the area that the newbies don't know. Newbies is this definition will eventually grow out of their "virginhood" if one of the "sluts" of the boards guides them along the way.

But as I've become more and more involved with internet communication it seems to be that newbie is really another way of calling someone •••••• without making yourself sound immature by using a very over-used insult. The term newbie is also a defense mechanism. People who call the others newbies are insulting someone they don't necessarily like and also at the same time are trying to position themselves as part of the "foundation" as the people that have been around the longest and thus, superior. For someone on an internet group to call someone a newbie is unreal. How do they know how long someone has been posting? What is the cuttof for the end of newbism?

Can't we all get along? Do we really need to be elitist? Just something to think about. And remember,

Snootch to the Mother ••••••• Nootch y'all!

And your point would be?

The Bozeman is here to help! And it's really the 23rd century.

Moooooooooooooooooorn!

Deadman's Point doesn't look at all like I imagined it.

Wait a minute, this isn't Deadman's Point.

the Redshirt Gods blast The Red Knight back to his proper board

You blasted Red Knight!

My uncle Dennis 'Wedge' Lawson was in Rogue Squadron, but I'm in Rouge Squadron - Moulin Rouge Squadron!

Do you desire me?

Scooby-Doo in his big screen movie will be computer generated. What people may not know is he is played by my guest the talented computer thespian... the star of Star Wars, Jar Jar Binks!

(applause)

JJ: Thanka yousa for having meesa heresa.

Glad to have you. Now you had a lot of competition for the part didn't you?

JJ: Ohsa yesa. DeNiro, Cruise, Lassie... but Isa perservered and gotsa da partsa.

Was it hard getting into the character?

JJ: Yesa, meesa studied all da cartoonsa. (pause) Whatsa were they thinking whensa they came upsa with Scrappy-Doo?

Can you give a little of your portrayal?

JJ: Ofsa coursa. (pause) Reesa riksa rooby racksa!

Wow! It was almost as if Scooby was right here in the room. I understand that shooting went longer than it was supposed to?

JJ: Ohsa yesa. Meesa almost missed shooting for episoda 2sa.

Well that would be a tragedy.

I'd like to thank my guest, Jar Jar Binks, for being here today.

Byesa. Seesa meesa moviesa!

Chaotica you should use an anti-baryon ray. It destroys neutrons & Protons.

I'm Positive!

Heavy I am.

It's good that this board is back! I've been out of the loop for a little while recovering from that nasty disease that we had, but I'm well now. It's only a matter of time before we become powerful again! If anyone knows how to defeat the Federation feel free to fill me in.

Oh my goo...

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Bobo! [honks the horn]

We shall remain "soylent" no more! Stand aside, fiend!

(throws Bystander 275 into a plate glass window)

Choose life. Choose Soylent Squadron.

I AM PEOPLE! I AM PEOPLE!

At ease, Green! You'll get yours soon.

Yes!

New Soylent Squadron! - cleans 100% right under the rim!

Okay Doc, where are we? When are we?

Two hairs past a freckle.

Heeeeeeeeelp me. Heeeeeeeelp me.

Choose a ******' big television.

Jerry Falwell had better watch out - I'm all man, I am!

Look at me!

I thought her last name was Haliwell, not Faliwell.

Is anyone else upset that McDonalds has trashed the fond and special memories of "Tell Me What You Want" by using it in their commercials?

You must be thinking of my good twin, Geraldine, young fan.

Come, Soylent Squadron! Let us flee this place and move onto another place.

SOYLENT SQUADRON! FOR EVER!

(they depart)

Hey! Wait for me!

Are they gone?

Good.

Now, to business!

To Business! (clink of wine glasses)

Where's the tea?

I pity the fool! Pity the fool!

Is toast the greatest thing since sliced bread?

But what was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?

Post faster! LICC3 has almost caught up with us!

Run for your board!

>But what was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?>

The answer is circuses. (Obscure trek reference alert.)

What kind of sun worshipper are you, Ccabe? Or is that your evil twin

The best thing before sliced bread was unsliced bread.

The best thing since sliced bread was sticking plasters for sliced fingers following foolhardy attempts to slice the bread in the first place without getting blood all over the food.

(a building suddenly appears)

Pardon me! Sorry to interrupt! Just passing through! Carry on!

(and disappears without a trace)

I WANNA PENGUIN!!!!!!!!! WWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Wah! Wah! Wah! As if it's not bad enough that the Batman is always after me, now I have a fussy child after me as well.

Funny that penguin being there. What if it lays an egg?

Good Evening. It's five o'clock, and it's time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode!

Alright, Penguin! Soon your avian doings will be done in the Gotham City Penitentiary! Robin! Come along, old chum, we need to use the Bat-Random-Post Analyzer, which I conveniently remembered to put into the trunk of the Batmobile!

Holy plot contrivance Batman!!!

Mother o'mercy, Commissioner! What will we do about the Penguin?

The Penguin is not your only concern, Chief! You also have to face...

DR CHAOTICA!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oops, I've come in too early. Sorry.... er oh dear...

"There's a bathroom on the right...."

Hey, be soylent out there! I'm trying to get some sleep!

Soylently! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

No-one dare disturb the sound of Soylents!

shhhhhh...

That's my line!

But it's MY only line! WAAAAHHHH!!!!

Today.... we celebrate.... our Independence Day!!!

I've left the building.

ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING AS IT WAS---

NO, I've just left it. You stay here and make sure Soylent Blue doesn't leave.

[hic]

Soylents is golden,
But my eyes still see...

Is anybody going to step on your Soylent blue shoes, Elvis?

Do the Queue stand in a semi-coherent Circle?

[hic]

Must dash - bye!

I must be careful to stay away from can openers or I'll become a Holy Knight.

None shall pass.

[hic]

Lousy penguins should stay off my lawn. Why in my day, we didn't have them critters on our lawn.

[climbs on top of the TV set]

Look, ma, I'm on the telly!

[BOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!]

Caribou.... gooooooooorrrrrrne!

Ni!

[hic]

Grape Ne-Hi, please.

Moo.

Why is this room so cold?

This is a room? This is Hell! It's finally frozen over!

Well, that explains why there are so many penguins about the place.

You'll get a charge out of me. Har har har.

Sorry, but I pay cash.

[hic]

Will the Soylent Squadron escape from the evil clutches of this board?
Can Blue figure out how to make the tea?
Will that guard finally get up and have a glass of water?
Find out.... at some point. Soon.

Will this do?

Soylent Blue, you just come over to this replicator, say "Computer. Earl Grey. Hot. Please." And it makes you something almost, but not quite, like tea.

Hey, what am I doing in this replicator outlet? No, don't eat me! Nooooooooooooooo!

I said, "Heeeeeeeeelp me! Heeeeeeeelp meeeee!"

Milk or sugar?

[hic]

Would you have a small smackerel of hunny?

Ugh! No thanks! Your hunny's got Pooh all over it!

Oh d-d-d-dear. Oh very very d-d-dear!

I'm blind!

Darn it, Joe! You were supposed to make a duck blind, not a deer blind!

Looks like Joe had no-eyed deer! Geddit?

[hic]

Suddenly, a monster looms over the guard.
BLLAARRRGGG!

[hic]

[hic hic]

I may do this again, you know...
BLLLAARRG... HIC!
What th..HIC!
BLA..HIC!
Not me too! HIC!

Bow and tremble before me for I am the Penguin Goa'uld!!! Muhahahahaha!!!

Now where is my slave with my meal?

(Daniel Jackson, wearing glasses & socks, enters carrying a tray of ticking herrings)

Daniel: Here you are my lord (He feeds the herring to the Penguin Goa'uld, and leaves before the explosion)

KABOOOOOOOM!!!

Just curious is in your opinion the Earth flat or do you believe the lies of those round-earth cultists

I believe it is flat since there has been no proof that the world could ever be round and will stick my head in the sand and sing 'La-la-la-la!' very loudly if anyone tries to convince me otherwise.

Shaaa, you know what? Unh-unh!

Of course the world is flat. It's also resting on the back of a giant turtle that's swimming through space.

[hic]
[hic hic]

[hic?]

[hic]

one... two... three...

[HIC!!!!!!]

[BUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRP!]

Are you burping at me? Are you burping at me?

TBSM shakes it's head no, then hiccoughs

You're calling me a hick? That's it!

Starts wailing on TBSM

We're within striking distance of overtaking LICC3! Post! Post! Don't think, just post!

Yes! just 6 more ks & we can move on to board 27!

k k k k k k

Will this be enough?

Ahhhh, that's the problem with you young'uns. Rush, rush, rush. More posts! More posts! When will you realize it's not how many posts you have it's what you do with them that counts. Take time to enjoy the absurdity.

Why in my day we had to walk 30 miles, uphill, both ways, in a raging blizzard, just to find an absurd post. And we liked it that way!

You could enjoy it more.

Except for the frostbite.

Now however, you've got your Fancy Formatting and your convoluted stroylines and all ten of your toes & fingers, but are you really happy?

Oh, drat! In my day that would have been a 5k post no problem!

Excuse me, but you owe me some money.

What do you mean?

Well, on Thursday, March 28, 2002 you bet that it would take LICC3 "about two weeks" to catch up with us, but they didn't catch up with us until Thursday, June 27, 2002. That's almost 4 months, not 2 weeks.

And you thought I meant two weeks from March 28?

You didn't specify any other date. What else could you have meant.

Actually I didn't specify any date. It just seemed that they were going through a board every two weeks.

So when I asked "How long until LICC 3 catches up with us?" you didn't realize I meant "How long until LICC3 moves from board XIII to board XXVI?

What am I, a mind reader? I just thought that if LICC3 were at board XXV it would take about 2 weeks to get to board XXVI.

Has anyone ever said you're a sniveling little weasel who'll do anything to avoid losing a bet?

And I thought you were different from everyone else. *tsk, tsk, tsk*

I wonder if you can Post™ cereal?

Wiigii!!!! That did it! That put us over 100k! Yahoo!! We can move on to the next board now! Booyah, LICC! Booyah!

I'd like to thank everyone who contributed to this nonsense & now it's on to board XXVII! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Party! Party! Party!

Schizo, please pay us [pinky-to-mouth]ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS[/pinky-to-mouth]. Yahoo! is a trademark of Yahoo!

Thank! You!

[hic]

[burp!!]... I mean, [hic]

It is time! We must break free from the confines of this board and start our own spin-off series!

WHO IS WITH ME????!!!!

[wooooooo.... woooooooooooooooooo!]