We're goin' through boards like popcorn!

If he goes back, this will all be here the next time he dies. I don't know if he realises that. He's always thought of the present more than the future. You can try again soon. Adon loves to come up here and watch the stars come out, and he should be along shortly.

Sure enough, the sun was just touching the horizon.

Maybe I should get going. Don't worry, I won't be far away.

Sejet turned, and walked through one of the walls. As soon as he was gone, Adon's came around the corner.

Adon: "Oh, you guys are here. Did you come to try and convince me to leave, or are you going to enjoy the stars?"

Hey... normally I'm flattered when someone wraps his arms around me... but this time I think it's Mary Worth! At the risk of sounding like a helpless female - Artsy, get me out of this thing!

A chair wrapping its arms round someone, working for some sort of witch?? Sounds like it comes from... Journey Back to Oz!

(The memory of this film forces the red-shirted K-NIT viewer to comitt suicide by leaping out his window)

Artsy tries to pry the arms of the chair apart, but they just grip Enesku more tightly. "Try to slide out!" Artsy advises, but its hold on the other girl is too firm for that, no matter how much she wriggles.

Dropping her satchel to the floor, Artsy rummages thorugh it. When her quick hands emerge, they are gloved and holding something that smokes. She darts around behind the chair and holds a hand to each joint of its arms. There is a hissing sound and frost begins to form on the metal. The arms crush Enesku even further, cutting off her air.

Artsy moves back and solidly kicks each joint once. There is a tinkling sound as they shatter. Enesku shoves the arms away; still linked, they crash to the floor.

Enesku stands dizzily, trying to catch her breath. "What did you do?"

Artsy shrugs. "Insta-freeze. Somethings are just better worked with if they're cold." She tucks the gloves back into her satchel and speaks again without looking at Enesku. "You said Mary Worth is causing this. Assuming that's true, how do we reverse it?"

Butrfli looks up at the stars with Adon
They are beautiful, aren't they? You know that if you come back with us and eventually die again, this will all still be here, right?

There's only one way. We fight Mary Worth. And we do it soon. Hopefully before the others come back, then we can pretend it never happened and we won't get the blame.

(she looks at the icy remains of the ops chair)

You know, Artsy, I used to think you were kind of a wuss, but I guess you're pretty cool. I should take you somewhere sometime, teach you martial arts, and how to defend yourself.

(Enesku runs to a door on the right side [assuming a forward-facing position] of the bridge. The door opens, and Enesku finds herself looking into... the bridge, from the left side. Artsy stands beside the chairless ops station on this bridge as well. She looks over, surprised, at Enesku. Enesku turns around and sees that the Artsy on the real bridge is also looking toward a door on the left side of the bridge. And on the other side of that door Enesku can just barely see... herself. She goes through the door in front of her, and glimpses another copy of herself going through the same door on this other bridge. She looks, exasperated, at Artsy)

Are you the real Artsy, or a clone created by Mary Worth? I've got to make sure I have the real one...

(She walks up to the door she came from, and finds... a turbolift. She runs to the other side of the bridge, and finds the door leads to the 'Head.' The other two doors off the bridge prove to lead to the Observation Lounge and the Captain's Ready Room.)

This is getting worse and worse.

(Observer appears grim)

Adon...it would be the epitome of selfishness for us to call you back had we not a valid reason, you know that. There is NOTHING to justify prying a man away from his rightful reward...except...

We know why this place is here for you to inhabit. We know about your inner turmoil about Dragmire, about the people who were killed by him, the people who you think you could have saved. I understand the grief you still feel, Adon. People have died because of my actions and inaction, and their screams still ring in my head. I just have to deal with it.

(Observer looks intensely at Adon)

But I tell you now, people WILL die if you are not there to save them. Innocents, people you held dear. You NEED to be alive to save them, Adon. Your work isn't finished. The universe still has a purpose for you, Wanderer. Can you turn your back on more innocent people, just because you want to live in an older, happier time, where you think you can forget about the tragedy in your past? It doesn't work that way. You know what I say now is the truth, and you know you cannot enjoy your reward after hearing what I've just said. Come back with us, Adon, help those people, save them, and then when you return here in the natural course of time, I promise you will not hear any screams, you will not feel any guilt, you won't be grieved, any more.

Adon looked ad Observer for a moment and turned away.

I... I don't know what to say. I will need some time to think about this. I will let you know what I think at sunrise.

There are a few spare rooms in my house. You can spend the night there tonight.

after Adon leaves

Good job, Obsy, I think you got to him. Well, I'm going to turn in...didn't know you needed to sleep in the afterlife. Huh, you learn new things everyday.

heads toward Adon's cottage

Butrfli: That was quite a speech, Observer.
Tacoman Nodding in aggrement Probably the best speece I've heard in a long time.
I think we've all had a hard couple of days, and I think some sleep will do us good.

Meanwhile...

You know, Sharon, I just remembered, I've got to get back to the Spidership. I have some funerals so I'll see you guys later. The luck finding the C-

Frangelica and alt-Furby: Come on.

They grab him and pull him onto the fairy. He pays the money. He looks down the seemingly endless river.

Okay, let's go.

Artsy runs a hand through her hair, which is streaked a throughly confused blue-black. "I would say so. How do you fight a--what is she? A demon? Is there a counter-ceremony? Or could we just break the mirror?"

We could break the mirror. But I think we'll need to use weapons for it. Anyway, weapons kick @$$!

(Enesku runs up to a weapons locker, opens it, and pulls out two phaser rifles, which she throws to Artsy.)

Let's go down to my quarters. I have plenty of my preferred types of weapons down there.

(She sets the transporter controls, picks up Quito, and stands next to Artsy. The bridge shimmers away from in front of them in the transporter effect and is replaced by... a corridor.)

Artsy: "I thought we were going into your quarters."

This must be the corridor outside my quarters. Mary Worth's been screwing up the whole ship, the transporter put us in the wrong place!

(They look ahead and realise that the corridor is rapidly contracting, and the doors to the turbolift at the end of the corridor are hurtling towards them)

Quick, get in!

(Artsy and Enesku run into the nearest door, and push aside the bead curtain. It's Enesku's quarters. Enesku puts Quito down.)

Don't touch a thing.

Ow! That was my head!

Sorry! Didn't see you!

Frangelica and alt-Furby make space for Rikard in the stern of the rather crowded boat, allowing Rikard to get up off the Fairy. Sharon pushes off, and the ferry drifts morosely off into the dark waters of the river Lithium. As the near bank disappears into the gloom, Franeglica thinks she sees six pale horsemen riding across it.

Not a very scenic ride, is it?

The next morning, Adon appeared at the top of the stairs.

I have decided to go back with you to the land of the living. And Butrfli, the first thing I will do when we get back there is return your children to you. So, how do I get back?

The group led him to the door where they had first entered the afterlife. When they got there, the door was unlocked.

Strange, I must have walked through this door a hundred times before, and nothing happened. Are you sure this is the right one?

They agreed that it was. Adon took one look at his afterlife and stepped through the door...

FIRE!

(Artsy fires one of the phaser rifles, dark green with confusion and disgust, at the mirror, but they seem to have no effect)

Give me those!

(She kicks Artsy out of the way and grabs both phaser rifles, firing them both at the mirror at once. Mary Worth, however, seems unharmed, and in fact glows with the energy. The demon raises her arms and outstretches them, both blasting a beam of energy each. The beams hit Artsy and Enesku, knocking them into the wall opposite the mirror, and through it. They lift themselves up, and run back into Enesku's quarters from the corridor outside.)

Artsy: "Energy weapons don't seem to work. It looks like Mary Worth feeds off energy!"

(Enesku reaches into a chest and pulls out a large bow and several arrows. She then takes out a can, similar to those which carry paint, except that this one is labelled 'Explosive substance'. She dips the tips of the arrows in them, and fires them from the bow. They hit the mirror and explode, but the mirror is only slightly cracked, if at all. She takes another bow and hurls it to Artsy, then gives her more arrows. Both girls fire their arrows at the mirror, which gets more and more, cracks, however small, until...

CRASH!

The mirror splits into many shards, which fly out at Enesku and Artsy, tearing at their skin and clothing. After that, the mirror stands still, and the quarters look like they used to. The light goes out, and Artsy switches on the main light of the quarters.)

Looks like it's over. Come on, let's get to sickbay.

(They leave Enesku's quarters, and make their weary way down the corridor, which seems to be back to normal. However, along the way they run into two people who look just like them. The reason is: It is them. They try to get past them, but their duplicates replicate their every move.)

We can't get past them! (Enesku says, as the other Enesku speaks the same words at the same time, creating a small reverb. They have to go back the way they came, only to run into... themselves again.)

Trapped between two mirrors. Ever heard the saying that the evil people do lives on beyond them?

Artsy: "Unless, of course, Mary Worth is still active."

We'll have to wait until this anomaly stops.

(They both sit down.)

While we're waiting, why don't you tell me about yourself?

...and found himself standing on an endless plain of light. The crew was with him, now wearing their normal outfits. Only Adon was still dressed in his afterlife cloths. Bell was standing before him, in all her radient glory. Adon immediatly went down on one knee before her.

Arise, Wanderer. You shall be returned to the land of the living. This is a great gift you have been given, a second chance at life. Be glad that you have such loyal friends who are willing to travel to the land of the dead to bring you before me.

I thank you for this gift, with all my heart. One cannot ask for better friends than these.

Adon stood up.

And now, to return you to your world.

The crew found themselves back on the planet, in the exact same positions that they were in before they were taken. Adon, on the other hand, found himself alone with Bell in the Land of Light.

And now, to return you. I have kept your body intact on the ship, so that you will have a place to return to. I have also repaired any damage that had occured. Return now, with my blessings.

In the morgue, Adon opened his eyes.

Ansh is sitting in a shuttle piloting it. Tammy is roaming around restlessly behind her

Tammy:Hurry up Ansh! Why are u aproaching the Spidership so slowly? I wanna c Scott again! she pouts

Ansh:I want to get back to the spidership soon too but I've got to be carefull, you can't fly into a shuttlebay at warp speed, you know.

Tammy:Then go at the fastest u can without going at warp!

Ansh:If you're refering to full impulse then I am going at that speed. Now keep quiet while I ask them to open the shuttlebay doors.
=/\= Ansh to spidership, I've returned with Tammy, requesting docking permision =/\= No response =/\= Ansh to Spidership, can you hear me? =/\= Something must be wrong with comunications.

Tammy: Then let's beam in! Duh!

Ansh:For once you've come up with a sensible sugestion.

Commander Milkshake tries to contact the Spidership, but he gets no reply, only static, and the burning out of his communicator. Everyone else also tries, but they are met with the same problem.

C-r-a-p on a stick! My Space Armor is being modified right now, or I'd switch to it and see if I could fly up and send a S.O.S signal of some kind...

Looks like we're stuck.

Let me try something...
Butrfli closes her eyes and seems to concentrate on something. After a few minutes, she reopens them and turns to Commander Milkshake
I used an ESP spell to see if I could get anything.
From what I can tell, a demon or spirit called Mary Worth seems to have gotten on the ship. I'm also getting an indication that somehow Enesku and Artsy managed to bring the creature aboard.
I do have a teleport spell that might work in taking us back to the Spidership...

Do you know what kind of demon it is? I only have a spell against the undead (you know, those minotaur skeletons) in my book.

Somehow I'm tempted to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"...

I told you not to bother Senora Worth! Now I shall unleash the pompous Professor upon you! He shall pontificate you to death!

Hey, these communicators aren't cheap.

A demon, Butrfli? Oh great. Before we go, let's see what we have that will get rid of demons.

shouts to the crowd still coming from the memorial

Head on over to the wake, folks, we'll be there in a little while, with a surprise!

Butrfli closes her eyes again, but this time simles and lets out a small laugh. She opens them again after a few moments.
This time I managed to connect with Quito. From what she's read of Artsy's and Enesku's minds, this was the type of demon that comes from a mirror...Well, it will be easier to show you all.
Butrfli transmits what Quito showed her. The rest of the crew sees flashes of the mirror ceremony, the emergence of Mary Worth and the trio's attempts to escape her.
I also told Quito that we're back, and everybody's safe.... Hey, where did Frangelica, Rikard, and Alt-Furby go?

Somewhere deep in the back of Frangelica's conciousness, the strongest bit of Q in her gets a prompting. "That's odd. What does, 'Way to go taking the hard way...' mean?"

Mean while, Sharon's Boat has reached the shores of the Realm of the Dead.

Suddenly, Enesku and Artsy both hear a familiar voice inside their heads.....

[Are you okay up there? I sense something....peculiar....going on.]

Artsy and Enesku frown at each other for a moment, then Artsy decides to answer the question aloud. "Ojanon? Yes...peculiar about covers it."

Quito, who has been making faces at her "mirror" double, perks up when she hears the mental voice and then tugs at Artsy's sleeve. Her sending is of Butrfli and the rest down on the planet.

Rikard glances down at alt-Furby.

Please, for all of our sakes, don't.

He looks up to see the boat approaching the shore.

Hmm, we're here. Right?

Ojanon receives Quito's mental images. It takes a few seconds for them to sink in.

[I'm three decks below you. Stay where you are. I'm going to see if I can make it to one of the transporter rooms....and hope there's someone around who can actually work one of those things!]

Uhh, black gates of obsidian towering high above us, inscribed in forty-foot letters of flame, "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here, Also Cameras, Cellular Phones and Other Portable Electronic Devices, and Leave Coats At the Coat Check?"

This should be it. Now we need to go to the receptionist and ask for Tacoman.

On a lower deck, Ojanon runs, and in slowly sinks in that the corridor, as it goes ahead of him, is taking perspective a little too far. It doesn't just look like it gets smaller, it actually does. For that matter, the ceiling above him is coming down as well. Ojanon is crushed (though he doubtless survives...) by the deck above squashing down on him.

(The duplicates on either side disappear, and Enesku, Artsy and Quito run down the corridor, faster than before. Artsy picks up Quito and starts to run at super speed, but Enesku finds it hard to keep up. They both run into sickbay, breathless and gasping)

Computer, activate Emergency Medical Holographic Program.

Computer: Unable to comply. Program is already in operation.

(Enesku and Artsy run through the sickbay complex to find the Holodoc, only to discover an all-too familiar red light shining out of a mirror. The two of them gaze in horror as the hornheaded image of Mary Worth stares back at them. They look around them and see that sickbay is all turning the same shade of red, as is Quito. Soon all is red and nothing else can be seen - Artsy and Enesku see each other, and if they look down they can see themselves, but nothing else. Except for the mirror, which shows sickbay through it.)

Artsy: "Where are we now?"

We're in the mirror.

(Their heads turn to the left, in slow-motion. Mary Worth stands before them, an impressive figure of seven feet in height.)

So you have decided to do this the hard way.

We decided nothing, Mary Worth, and we will gladly...

Silence. Both of you are wounded, both are weak with fatigue. This will be an easy task.

(Enesku whispers to Artsy) It's not just the one mirror... those summons brought her to all the mirrors on the ship. We have to destroy them all. Who shall stay here to keep Mary Worth occupied and who will destroy the mirrors?

(Artsy looks at Enesku, a look of cold determination in her face.)

"You break the mirrors." Artsy takes a deep breath and turns to face the mostrous shape of Mary Worth as the demon steps towards her. "I'm sure I can keep Mary occupied till you finish. Now go!"

Artsy runs at Mary Worth and lauches herself over the demon's head in a leviation-assisted leap. "Hey, over here!" The shadowy figure turns towards Artsy and the artist sees Enesku dart away from the battle. Then all her attention is absorbed in an exchange of blows.

The demon is surprisingly agile for her stature. She lands several good blows before Artsy can back away to a safe distance and dip into her satchel.

The artist pulls out a gun-shaped item, shiney even in this reddish gloom, and fires at the demon. Splotches of paint quickly absorb the red of their surroundings, and the demon laughs.

You think such puny weapons can defeat me?

She moves in, but Artsy knows to dodge now, and slips around behind the demon, again dipping into her satchel. When her hands come out this time they are smoking slightly, clouding the light around her. "Not such puny weapons!"

Artsy leaps onto Mary Worth's shoulders, this time seizing onto the demon's horns with both hands. The demon gropes for her, and Artsy kicks into a handstand on the horns. A hissing sound fills the dead air of this place. Mary Worth tosses her head and Artsy goes flying, but the horns fall too--frosted with red ice on their broken edges.

Artsy sheds her gloves and starts to rise, only to be pinned to the ground by one huge black hand. For this you will die. As will the others.

Artsy stares up at the shadowed face, looking rather silly without its horns. The black hand clenches tighter, sharp claws digging into her ribcage. The artist's mind is racing, but she cannot catch her breath nor escape from this crushing grip. In desperation she beats at the demon with her bare hands, and as her ring touches its skin, it flinches.

In a moment of super-swift motion, Artsy slides from under that huge hand and rolls away, coming up in a crouch. She is in pain, and no one could tell by looking at her how much of that red is the light and how much is blood, but a new hope has crept into her mind....

"That hurt you, did it?" she whispers to herself as the demon strides towards her.

Actually, Ojanon sees the ceiling coming down and manages to dodge most of it, but is stunned by a piece of debris.

The doors to sickbay open and Adon enters, rubbing his head.

Wow, being dead gives you such a hangover. Hey doc, do you have anything that can help?

Adon notices what's going on.

What's going on here?

Adon walks up to the mirror and looks at it. Instead of seeing his reflection, he sees an injured Artsy and a giant demon.

This can't be good.

Artsy sees Mary Worth approach her when a golden beam of energy hit the creature. Mary Worth seems to vaporise under the attack. She looks towards the source of the energy and sees Adon standing there, alive and well. He picks her up and carries her back toward sickbay.

Hi there! I've heard about my memorial, thank you very much. How often do you get people thanking them for their own memorial, comissioned after their death?

You're not going anywhere!

I guess playtime isn't over.

Artsy stares at Adon in shock as he runs toward the mirror, towards reality. "You're alive?! They did it then!"

But her sudden surge of joy is broken by a jolt that throws her out of Adon's arms. When she looks up, she is alone again, with the shadow of Mary Worth coalescing again behind her. Adon is nowhere to be seen.

I will deal with them later.

In a sudden moment of decision, Artsy tears a long strip of materiel from the hem of her tunic and, bracing herself, pulls off her ring....

-----------

In Sickbay, Quito--who has been anxiously watching the mirror and saw Adon enter it-- sees him reappear, staggering. In alarm, picking up something from Artsy, she starts pounding on the mirror, first with her fists, then with a medical scanner. It refuses to break. Even Adon's energy blasts do not shatter it....

Suddenly, the team down on the planet receive a telepathic message from Ojanon. He sounds like he is injured.

[You've got to find a way to get to the ship as soon as possible! I don't know quite what's going on, but I was prevented from reaching a transporter room to beam you up. By what, I have no idea. I sense a....great malevolence, but it evades any attempts by me to read its mind.]

Back on the ship, a piece of the corridor wall rips away and flies toward Ojanon. However, he manages to deflect it with his Malachite Staff, and runs farther down the corridor.

Am I a Portable Electronic Device?

(Enesku runs through the corridors of the ship as fast as she can, searching through every room for mirrors. Every time she sees one, she smashes it with a spear. During her travels she encounters Ojanon, blasting bits of bulkhead away from himself with a Malachite staff.)

No time for that, Ojanon! We have to destroy all the mirrors on the ship! You go that way, I'll go this way!

(They both run separate ways, frantically seeking out any kind of mirror, and destroying all the ones they find - Enesku with her spear, Ojanon with his staff)

Adon is determined to get back into the mirror, and assist Artsy. However, every time he opens a portal to the mirror dimension, it seems to be blocked. All attempts to break the mirror or simply walk through it also fail.

Meanwhile, in the mirror....

Artsy-Fartsy backs away from Mary Worth, her ring clenched in one hand. As her gift starts to unravel within her, the shifting colors start to overpower even the red light that rules this place.

"You want me? Come get me!" She dances about, faster than sight, always keeping just out of range. The demon growls, unable to keep her in sight, but Artsy is tiring fast and finally must reappear. She backs again, this time weighing in her hand the strip of cloth with something weighted inside it.

You cannot harm me. It is only a matter of time.

Artsy just smiles, then swings the cloth in circles above her head. When she lets go, something bright flies out and hits Mary Worth like a bullet, sticking into her. It is Artsy's ring. The demon wails, clawing at the shining thing, and Artsy leaps on her.

The fight is still unfair; no artistic vision, even in Artsy's growing insane focus, will stick to the demon, and even in pain Mary Worth is more than a match for her.

"Are you done, Enesku?" Artsy gasps, backing away once more. She feels Quito pick up the thought and transfer it on, and recieves a confirmation in return. Instantly she turns and runs for the light of the mirror, the reality of Sickbay. Limping, hair hanging around her face in damp strings, a graying purple under the red light, she runs and does not look back.

---------

Quito, still staring into the mirror, suddenly sends out a pulse of warning.

"What is it, little one?" Adon asks her, moving to watch as well.

Artsy is running towards the mirror, but behind her comes the reduced shadow that is the demon. It staggers, unable to keep up with the fleeing artist, and reaches out a dark hand. Fire flashes from it, and as Artsy turns to meet it, it pours over and around her, then out of the mirror.

Adon pushes Quito to the floor as shards of glass spill over them. The little telepath lets out one piercing anguished shriek, and the shockwave of her sending reaches even the LICC members on the planet below:

Heat. Pain. Darkness, dissolution, nothing, empty, void. Gone....!

--------

Down below, Butrfli staggers, and the translation of Quito's images come to her lips almost involuntarily. "Artsy...dead?"

Ansh and Tammy have been running around the Spidership trying to find where everyone has gone. Suddenly they get the telepathic message from Quito
Artsy!
Ansh runs in the direction of sickbay calling for her friend. She stumbles into sickbay
What happened? Where's Artsy?

(Enesku smashes another mirror with her spear, then opens up a chest of drawers, throwing the contents around until she comes across a small hand-mirror. She smashes it against the chest)

Bad luck for seven years, whoever you are.

(Suddenly Enesku receives the telepathic message from Quito, "Are you done?" Enesku does not know how to send a telepathic message, but she realises the answer is 'yes', and hopes that thought will find its way to Quito's mind and eventually to Artsy. She leaves the torn-up quarters and runs back to sickbay.

Enesku runs into sickbay, where she receives another message from Quito... the death of Artsy. Enesku collapses to the floor, overcome with weariness and shock. The mirror in sickbay, the only remaining mirror on the ship, breaks up and falls to the floor.)

Tammy finds her way to her quarters. She sees magazines and crop tops strewn across the floor and a broken mirror on top of her chest of drawers

Who's raided my room and broken my mirror? And what's that voice in my head? I don't remember thinking that!

Not unless they're going to count a Portable Electronic Plot Device.

The three heroes follow Lord Smoke through the gates and into the Halls of Judgement.

That's funny, I always pictured this place as looking more like the Halls of Justice.

There's the main desk. Here goes nothing, I suppose.

Butrfli still looks shaken as she looks at the LICC
Quito...Quito said that Artsy was trying to get out of a mirror...the deamon sent fire at her, which enveloped her...
Quito's also saying that Adon is helping them.
I'm going to attempt a teleport spell. Where do you want me to send us?

Butrfli and the others receive a telepathic message from Ojanon. He sounds mournful.

[I think Artsy...is dead.]

Commander, why are we having all these deaths lately. Does that mean we have to wander back to the land of the dead?

Artsy!

Adon runs over, picks her up, and carries her to the biobed.

DOC! GET IN HERE NOW!

The Holodoc enters, looking quite annoyed.

Holodoc: "Now really, whoever is immitating Commander Adon really should show some respect for..."

He notices that it really is Adon standing there.

Holodoc: "It figures, not even your own death can stop you from trying to bother me."

Will you shut up and help Artsy?

Holodoc: "Oh dear, of course. Now step back and let the master do his work."

Adon stepped aside and tries to calm Quito.

Jason! Discussion board, NOW!

At the Reception Desk of the Dead, a figure looks up at Frangelica and her party.
Yes, How may I help you?

Ansh begins to sob uncontrolably

Artsy's dead?!? She can't be! Why is everyone dying? First you She points to Adon Then the Cap....

Suddenly she stops crying because of the shock she's just had

Adon! What are you doing here? I thought you were dead!

Adon: I was.

Crow: Too bad they weren't looking for the Receptionist of the Stones!

Tom Servo: I'm going to make an appointment with the Secretary of The Who right now!

Commander, that Furby virus you contracted seems to be causing you hallucinations. Lie down and I'll treat you for it.

(hiding in the shadows)

Psst. Look who's coming. Frangelica, alt-Furby and Rikard, as well as some strange guy I've never seen before.

Maybe he joined LICC after you died.

Frangelica? Don't you mean Captain Frangelica?

What? You were killed before she stopped being Captain?

Stopped being Captain? You guys really need to keep me updated on these things!

Shhh, quiet! You don't want them to hear us until we strike!

Quantum Man materializes at the reception desk in a lavender waveform, as usual.

Wow. I didn't know they had a receptionist down here! Sorry I'm late.

He digs into his pocket and takes out a couple of coins, and hands them to the receptionist.

Could you please give these to Sharon the Ferryperson? I don't want to cause any trouble.

Rikard, still a little shaken from stepping on the fairy turns to the receptionist.
Hi, we're here to meet someone. His name is Jackson Dupree Tacoman, he died just a few days ago. Oh and if possible, we'd also like to see SuperBob.

He glances at QM in surprise.
That's it? You can just transport down here? It's not any harder than that? Can anyone just teleport on down to the reception desk?

Oh, sure, anyone with supernatural powers or a talent for doing anything that's finitely improbable. It's just that people who don't use the main gate generally have a hard time leaving and if they do, they get some unwanted company. It's a lot safer to take the main road and pay the boatman... boatperson. The Queen of the Dead may not grant your request, but she won't bust you for unpaid tolls.

Picks up the phone.

J.B.? E.E. here! Yeah, we're killing 'em off like flies. Soon we'll be able to start that LICC 90210 show and get the coveted teen demographic! This'll be great!

The receptionist consults a computer, which holds the records of all the dead.
Let's see.. Tacoman... Ahh.. here we go.
The receptionist removes a printout from a nearby printer looks it over.
Ah.. LICC... You know, we get a lot of people from your group. I believe you call them "redshirts." In fact, we have an entire area dedicated to them.
The receptionist points to a door, which reads "Redshirt Processing Department."
In fact, that department deals with redshirted people from all over the multiverse.
Now, as for your friend... We gave him housing in the Underworld Suburbs. It's where immortals who have died for one reason or another are placed. Here's the directions.
The receptionist hands the paper to the heroes. The paper includes a map of the Underworld in general, the Underworld Suburbs in particular, and Tacoman's address specifically.
As for Superbob...
The receptionist rechecks the computer.
...I can't seem to locate him...
And by the way, you might want to cut down on the redshirt deaths. We've had so many down here that they've had to share housing with the people already here, and we've been thinking about adding another subdivision dedicated to redshirts.
Next!

Milkshake stands stock-still. His face, as ever, is unreadable through the opaque faceplate of his helmet. After a few moments, his gritty voice comes out of the speaker on the side of the helmet.

Take us back to the ship, Butrfli.

(as Frangelica and co. leave the Reception Desk, several redshirts leap out of the shadows in front of them, and start to surround them)

Thanks to you, Frangelica, I was assigned to a console which exploded, killing me!

You, Josh Rikard, can't shoot straight! You missed an enemy robot on Cyglaxon III and hit me instead!

Amazing Quantum Man, when we fought the Frank Conspiracy, you wave-formed out of the way and so a Frank phaser hit me instead!

alt-Furby, your singing has caused the deaths of me, and six other redshirts!

And Captain Tacoman, who you are trying to retrieve if I heard correctly, killed me with a polymorph rifle to test it out!

And as for the rest of us... well, you, Frangelica, founded the LICC and therefore indirectly caused our deaths! And you will pay!

(The redshirts start karate-kicking Frangelica, Josh, alt-Furby and QM, and all four heroes have to join in)

Our shirts may be red... but our belts are black!

Ok... I'm going to send us to the bridge. That way, we can check the sensors and then get where we need to go.
Butrfli begins chanting, and soon the heroes are on the bridge of the Spidership. Because of the strain of the effort and events of the past few days, Butrfli collapses.
Meanwhile, in the realm of the dead, the Receptionist picks up a phone.
Security? Could come here to the reception desk? We've got some trouble. Thanks. Hangs up phone

Suddenly, a nearby door flys opens and a hooded figure rushes in and helps fight off the insane redshirts.

Hm, according to the last telepathic message Mrs. Demon has indeed horns. Maybe some spells will work...

Would somebody please help my carrying Butrfli to sickbay now?

Hey, you, dead Redshirt! I've written a song especially for you and your comrades!

Memories of terrible pain flash through the ex-brain of the ex-Redshirt. After a few seconds of Kung-Fu meditation he decides to run away. Really fast btw.

The hooded figure gives another redshirt a massive punch, who then runs away. Whether it's the punch or Furby's singing is anybody's guess.
Same old Furby.. Musical as always.
The hooded figure removes its hood, revealing...
Hi guys, looking for someone?

Captain! It's you!

How's afterlife?

So it is, Quantum.
Furby, the afterlife is pretty good.
Tacoman does a backhand punch, thus taking out the final redshirt.
Why don't you all come with me. It'll save you some time finding my place.
Tacoman leads the group out the door he came from to a personal hovervehicle outside.
Get in.
Once inside the hovervehicle, Tacoman deftly navigates it to what looks like a suburban street and then to a certain house. Everybody gets out.
it's a nice neighborhood. Up the street, there's a highlander community, and they have a liking for bagpipe music.
Now, you may be wondering how I knew you were here. Well...
The group enters the house, which is furnished with a mixture of 20th and 30th century decor. A large viewscreen recent events.
...this screen will show me any event in the land of the living, current or past. In fact, I've been reviewing my own life with this thing and I discovered something very interesting...
Tacoman picks up a remote control and begins pressing buttons. The view on the screen changes to a younger Tacoman in a traditional superhero suit, complete with his gold and yellow colors.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the moment I became immortal.
On the screen, Tacoman picks up a strange looking device, which then activates. It shines a strange, bright light at Tacoman, who begins to glow himself. Startled, he drops the device, breaking it.
From what I've been able to discern, the device gave whoever held it a random power. It was still in the testing stages when I found it, and it wasn't finished when I dropped it. The power it gave was immortality, and because it wasn't perfected, I got most, but not all the power. Meaning, I got immortality, but after a while, the power fluxed and ebbed, and would have eventually left me altogether.
So, how are things with you all?

Another party is currently looking for Adon in his personal afterlife. Maybe they are lucky. You know, those Wanderers are sometimes a bit tricky...

The device - what else can you tell us about it? Where and when did you find it? Who built it? What happened to it after you dropped it?

Kind of sadly...
Hello, Captain Tacoman. Nice place you've got.

idly picks up a ghostly remote-control and absent-mindedly tosses it up and down as Alt-Furby and Tacoman talk Equipment

And is there any reason why you might want to come back to the land of the living? Any reason at all? Any unfinished business? Defeat Taconator once and for all? Watch the kids go to college? Perfect some super taco recipe? Or can you do all of that down here?

(Enesku wakes up in sickbay, as Furby bounces in holding a spellbook. As Enesku sits up, Furby leaps into her lap)

Have you come to deal with Mary Worth?

Furby: "Yes."

(Enesku can see the sickbay mirror from this vantage point, and can make out that it has broken, and all the bits of glass are on the floor)

No need. All the mirrors are broken. We've been cut off from the mirror dimension.

Looking for Adon, you say? Fran, let me have that remote.
Frangelica gives Tacoman the remote she's playing with. Tacoman consults a nearby magazine and presses some buttons. On the viewscreen, a quick replay of the search, discovery, and recovery of Adon can be seen.
Well, it looks like they found him and brought him back.
Tacoman hands the remote and magazine to Frangelica.
Here. Have fun with it.
To Furby
To answer your questions... This happened in the early 21st century...I think it was 2004 or thereabouts. I was with a superhero group, we had just inflitrated a bad guy's hideout, and we were exploring. I came across this room filled with interesting devices and gizmos and found that one at random. After I broke it, I picked it up and took it back to the group, who examined it then sent it to a professional scientist. Eventually, it got packed up and sent to a warehouse, where it hasn't been seen since.
To Rikard
Well, I guess I do have some unfinished business, but I'm glad to have this rest for now. Besideds, it might get confusing having two Tacomans on board. Yes, I know about Alexander Tacoman. He seems like a pretty nice guy, but I fear that if I were brought back, I might end up inhabiting his body or something...
By the way, I would offer you a snack, but we all know what happens when the living eat the food of the dead..

Sent to a warehouse? The warehouse where everything is stored?

presses a button labelled "review"

You mean all they had to do was walk in??? Well, I guess this is why I should have stayed for the boring bit. Sigh. At least they succeeded, that's the important thing. So we can rescue the kids as soon as they banish that ghost.

Tacoman, can you ever forgive me for abandoning the League and letting you be killed and the kids secreted away?

Nice to sit here, Enesku.

With all the mirrors broken - does that mean that Artsy is trapped there in some kind of demonic hell? Uh, that's certainly no fun.

Furby, you mean the multidimensional warehouse where everything from the Ark of the Covenant to the last Zebu is kept? From what I understand, it was moved there in the mid 2150s...
Frangelica, if you hadn't stayed for the boring bit, you never would have found me...
I'm never one to hold a grudge. If you were busy with your own adventures, I understand.
And now that Adon has returned, hopefully, they can retrive Fran and Logan.
As for me, I think I'll stay here for a while and relax. If I want back, I'll find a way.
In fact, keep my body in suspened animation. If I want back in the world of the living, I'll have something to come back to.

Oh, Adon, I nearly forgot this. I see your Furby fur is already gone but to be completely sure...

Injects him with the antidote to the Furby venom.

That should be enough. Don't forget to shave your ears every morning!

gives Tacoman a convivial punch in the shoulder
I warn you Jackson... I'm never one to cater to overpadded egos. If you're expecting me to say, "No, Tacoman! You must come back! Think of the children!" I'm not going to. You've lived an extraordinarily long and full life, and if you really want to stay dead, I intend to respect your self-determination. We came here for you, Captain, and if we were to drag you back against your will, it would cease to be about you and end up being about us.

Frangelica, I was thinking the same thing. As you said, I've lived a long life, and I deserve a rest for a while. But, I may get bored with this um... life and decide to return. Keeping my body in suspended animation would allow for such a conduit. Otherwise, I may have to take over somebody's living body, and nobody wants that. Besides, if I did that, I might end up a redshirt.
By the way, I did discover something interesting about Alexander Tacoman...
It seems that moments after he was transported to our LICC dimension, the O'kak battlecruiser managed to destroy his fighter.
Another thing.. congratulate Steve on his newfound Q powers, and sorry that his first attemt didn't work as planned. I was at the desk of the reception area being interviewed when I felt a pull on me. Somehow, the Q power was deflected and redirected into the land of the living...
Anyway...

Adon: "Ow! That hurts!"

Holodoc: "If you would stop complaining, I could finish removing the Furby venom."

Adon: "Who said I was complaining? I was stating a fact. Besides, don't you have an injection that can clear this up right away?"

Holodoc: "What do you think this is? Science Fiction? Ok, you're done. Stay off of that leg for a few days at least."

In complete defiance of the Holodoc's orders, Adon hopped off of the biobed, and walked out of sickbay. Once the doors were closed, however, he floated a few inches off of the deckplates and drifted towards the nearest turbolift.

Rikard shakes his head.
I can't believe it's so easy. Coming back from the dead I mean. I mean, why don't people do it more often. Is there a huge stack of paperwork you have to fill out before resurrection that would take years to do or something?

Kiehart groggily gets out of bed, and climbs into his hoverchair. He suddenly notices the emergency lights in his quarters are on. "If we're under attack I'm gonna ••••••• kill somebody," he groans.

Ojanon wanders into sickbay. He has the hood of his robe down, and is rubbing the back of his head.

Doc, I need something for a headache. Falling debris tends to cause those, you know.

The EMH runs a medical tricorder over Ojanon's forehead.

You have more than a headache. In fact, you have a mild concussion. I suggest you lie down for a day or two....

Ojanon looks at Holodoc.

*sigh* I figured as much. Very well; I'll go to my quarters, then.

Ojanon leaves sickbay, and heads toward his quarters.

Rocket Ranger passes by Kiehart's quarters, and catches him trying to leave in his hoverchair.

Get back and there and lie back down. I'm not completely sure what's happening, but I do know that there is nothing you can do about it. And trying to do so will just slow down your recovery.

He takes a quick glance at Kiehart's hoverchair.

You'd think they could have at least given you the current model. The one you're in has been obsolete for going on three years now!

He steps behind Kiehart, opens a panel on the back of the chair, pulls out a couple of tools from a compartment in his belt, makes some adjustments, then replaces the panel. The hoverchair's power-system seems quieter and the chair doesn't vibrate quite as much.

There. Should be more comfortable now. But, like I said, you need to rest. Go back to bed. I'll contact you if and fill you in if anything major happens.

He starts to walk off, but stops and turns back to Kiehart.

By the way....Adon's back. And I don't mean one from an alternate universe, either.

Tacoman picks a nearby book with the title "The Handbook of the Dead," which looks a lot like the one from Beetlejuice. He flips through the pages.
Hmm...Ok...Right...
I've got it... There is a lot of paperwork to fill out, but usually the dead person is brought back against their will, and the paperwork is either ignored or filled out by someone else.
Now, the paperwork covers reincarnation, too, which explains why it takes so long for that process, too. Of course, some people have a free reincarnation pass that they just show and go to their next life...

Kiehart initially smiles at the news of Adon's return, and thanks Ranger. But as Ranger walks away, Kiehart forwns and mutters under his breath, "I actually liked the vibrating your frikkin' prude." He turns the chair around and re-enters his quarters.

shakes her head disapprovingly

It's really not that easy, Tacoman. Look at Chapter Seven, "Passenger Spirits," and Chapter Thirty-Four, "The Great Balance of It All." Once you fill out the paperwork, you need to get it approved. And that bit makes the paperwork look easy.

Jackson, you're dead!!! This isn't a vacation stop or a sabbatical. It's designed to be a permanent cessation of all earthly activities, hence, you know, "Death"! It's wasn't easy for us to find you here, it won't be easy for us to leave, and it certainly won't be easy for us to attempt to take you with us, but we're willing to try for your sake. But we can't be back every month to check on you, and the Powers That Be have ways of making sure that people who use the Revolving Door To The Afterlife don't get to enjoy their time in the Land of the Living. This very well may be a one-time offer here: do you want more adventures (and we'd love to have you) or are you comfortable down here?

The twelve members of the Conclave stood in a circle. They were the only things visible in the total blackness.

Member #1: "The impossible has taken place."

Member #5: "Adon has returned to life."

Member #9: "Who is responsible for this?"

Bell appeared in the center of the circle

Bell: I was the one who brought Adon back, with the help of his friends.

Member #4: "Why have you done this."

Member #7: "You have started a chain of events that will consume us all."

Bell: My reasons are my own. It is not your place to demand an explination for my actions. But rest assured, you shall not bear the responsibility of his return. Those whom you protect will not pay the price for my actions. This, I promice you.

With that, Bell vanished.

Member #11: "They will not take his return lightly. Even with her assurances, I fear that we may suffer because of her."

Member #2: "We may have to do something about her."

Member #1: "We shall not debate this now. Let us begin making preparations for any retribution because of his return. We must not let anyone but those directly responsible for his return suffer for it."

Milkshake sits slumped in the command chair...looking very, very tired. He softly speaks to anyone that might be on the bridge at the moment.

"I'd like a report on the demon situation."

(Insane is sitting at ops)

Sensors indicate no demons or similar demonic life-forms on board. They also don't show any structural anomalies like those described in Enesku's report. Either when we were seperated from the mirror dimension all the demon activity reversed itself, or Enesku was exaggerating to make herself sound heroic.

Tacoman takes the book from Frangelica and looks at the chapters she mentioned. As he flips through the pages, he whistles in amazement
Wow.. I hadn't read that yet...
Tacoman takes a long look at Frangelica, Alt-Furby, and Rikard and says
Alright. I'll come back with you. It may be hard, but I'll do it.
Although, I have a feeling that when I get back, my immortality may be gone, and I'll end up living a normal lifespan from here on out.

Meanwhile, on the Spidership, Butrfli closes her eyes and repoens then a few minutes later.
I'm not sensing any demon or demonic activity on board, either.
Alexander Tacoman checks the tactical sensors.
Nothing on here, either...nothing except for the next board that's rapidly approaching...

grins
You're sure, now? Wouldn't want to be taking you back against your will, now...

The turbolift doors opened and Adon floated out.

Commander Adon, reporting for duty, sir.

Tacoman smiles back
Yeah, I'm sure. Now, the next task is to try and get out of here...
I need to get that paperwork filled out...

I'm good in forging signatures.

You know, there's a small probability that the molecules of the air will coaslesce into a completely filled out set of paperwork. An extremely small probability, but it's possible... Just a moment.

Concentrates and the lavender glow fills the room... The group feels a slight rushing of air, as atoms and molecules rearrange them in an extremely unlikely way....

There. How's that?

Tacoman picks up the paperwork that sits on the table and looks through it.
Wow... filled out... all the right signatures...fully approved... filled out in my handwriting, too.
Good work, Q.M. Now, all we have to do now is go back to the reception area, where I will hand these in, see about getting you all out of here, and me back to life.
I do have some tokens to give to the Ferrywoman if you need them.

You know, I've read a lot of books that say time here in the afterlife has no meaning. What may seem like years filling out paperwork may only be seconds up in the living world. It would have been interesting to see if that theory was correct.

As for the tokens, I'll doubt we'll need them. Furb here is always prepared.

Tacoman looks at Rikard and grins
Ok, when YOU die, you can prove that theory.
Tacoman looks around the room
It would have been interesting to see if would have been a wonderful afterlife, but you guys made me realise that I'm still needed in the living world.
Come on, let's get going.
Tacoman leads the group out of the house and into the hovervehicle. Soon, they are back at the reception area and in front of the reception desk.
...and here's my handbook. You'll find that the paperwork is all filled out.
Receptionist: Ok. It all looks good. If you would just step over there...
The receptionist points to what looks like a niche in the wall, except for the fact that it has more equipment. The receptionist also hands Tacoman a card.
Just insert this card in the slot in the machine, and you will be on your way.
Addressing Frangelica's group
And as for you people, all you need to do is give the Ferrywoman a few more coins, and she'll take you across the river again.
Tacoman: Thank you. Well, I'll see you guys in the land of the living.
Tacoman goes over to the alcove, inserts his card, and enters. A liquid suit surrounds him, a bright light envelopes him, and he shoots into the air. A few minutes later, he opens his eyes in the dark and pounds on the ceiling.
Hey, let me out!
A redshirt working the morgue hears the sound and opens the cabinet. The combination of suprise and the smell that the redshirt experiences causes him to die of sensory overload, but not before he sends a message to the bridge saying that Jackson Dupree Tacoman is back among the living.

All right, then! Here goes nothing, I suppose...

Butrfli, hearing the message, rushes from the bridge to the morgue. As she enters, Tacoman gets out of the cabinet, still a little wobbly
Butrfli: Jackson! You're...whoa! you need a bath, buddy.
Tacoman: I know. Whether it's from being in here for so long or the way I got here, I don't know. But the very first thing I should do is get to sickbay.
Butrfli: I'll take you there.
They exit the morgue and enter sickbay. The Doctor looks up and says
Not another one! Ok, what now? Come here, let me examine you. By the way, did you know you needed a bath?
Tacoman: I know. Examine away.
The Doctor makes a complete examination and makes his report
Well, the good news is that everything seems fine. The bad news is that your immortality is gone.
Tacoman: What?
Doctor: For some reason, your immortal powers have left you when you returned to life. You'll now live a normal human lifespan from here on out. Now, go take a bath.
Tacoman: Good idea. Butrfli, get to the bridge. I want to announce something when I get out.
Butrfli: Ok.

That's funny. I could have sworn they would have given him more trouble than that. Seems they've had a change of management since Orpheo came down here.

The four heroes make their way through the black Gates and towards the dock.

Back so soon, are we?

Your errand here you think is through
But I have other news for you.
You entered in with haste and ease
But now you may not have the keys
To leave as swiftly as you came
Or to escape the scorching flame
Of judgement 'fore the Throne of Black.
First thing: you must not look back
As this boat speeds from yonder shore
And if you do not, furthermore
When you return (I now disclaim):
If any of you speaks the name
Of yon returned soul before
One day has past then your
Souls are forfeit, every one!
If not, consider your task done.

I think I'll lock myself in my quarters for a day.

Assuming that we can leave, of course.

Uh, Sharon the Ferrywoman, do you know that I don't have a soul? Would you like to have a candlelight dinner with me instead?

HAR HAR HAR!!!!! NOW, TACOMAN, WITH YOUR IMMORTALITY GONE IT'S TIME FOR MY REVENGE!!!!! FINALLY!!!!! PREPARE TO DIE, AGAIN!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!


Just kidding, Taco. Welcome back! Are you really a normal human now or do you have some ghoulish tendencies? I mean, should we count our Redshirts from now on every morning?

Right. Can I look back before we get on the fair- I mean ferry?

As far as I know Furby, I'm a normal human... or at least as normal as things get around here.
Maybe later we can hit the holodeck and relive our Phantom Returns days...
Tacoman enters his quarters for a much needed shower. Half an hour later, he emerges on the bridge wearing his old Cybersuit. He first goes up to Alexander Tacoman.
So, you must be Alex. Nice to meet you, and welcome to the team. By the way, when I was dead, I was able to see what happened after you came here... The O'kaks managed to destroy your fighter seconds after you left.. but don't worry, the good guys won the day.
Alex: Thanks. So, now with two Tacomen here, what now?
Jackson: I was just about to get there.
He turns to Butrfli
We've been together for a long time, and you've put up with my pigheadness and strange comments.
Being dead caused me to think about my life and what I would do if I had a second chance, so...
Jackson gets on one knee and in traditional pose
Butrfli, will you marry me?
Butrfli: Jackson! By the gods, yes! Do you know how long I've been waiting for this moment?
Jackson: Quite a long time, I assume. Adon, how you coming with finding Fran and Logan?

Adon snapped his fingers.

Fran and Logan! I almost forgot about them!

Adon opened a portal and reached inside. He gently pulled out two small bundles and handed them to Butrfli.

I am truly sorry about any distress that taking your children may have caused you.

Picks up something from the floor.

This is certainly not a part of the broken mirror. Enesku, does this horn look familiar to you?

Oh, sure. Just not from the boat. They're funny about little loopholes like that.

Crossing is two pence per person, in cash, no plastic. Step up please, it's getting late.

Okay, so no looking back and no saying the name of Whatshisface until tomorrow. It seems so deceptively easy. And yet...

Frangelica sighs and snaps her fingers. Suddenly all four heroes are stricken with stiff necks and laryngitis. A sign appears in her hands that says, "When we wake up tomorrow, it'll have worn off. Promise."

Kiehart, his personal computer in his quarters tapped in to inter-ship communications learns of Tacoman's return, and, exictedly he moves his hoverchair towardds the door, which refuses to open. Rocket Ranger's voice replies when Kiehart tries to use his command codes to voerride the door. "Doctor's orders Jason. The door won't open until it's time for your next physical therapy session." Kiehart groans. "He's worse than my mother's nanny."

This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them.

Commander, shall I tell Obsy about the news? The Artsy news, I mean.

He knows, Pete. He left to be alone, I think.

Jackson and Butrfli are each holding a child. Jackson speaks up
Thanks Adon. No hard feelings, since you were posessed at the time you took the kids.
Steve, I've heard there was going to be a wake for Adon and me... what say we change the wake into a wedding?

A purple light on a nearby panel dies. The man looking at looks concerned. "Um, Sirs, I don't know how or why but our up-link with the Archangel has been severed. We can't track them, find them, or communicate with them.*"

* This will all be explained in an upcoming post on The Hunt For Jake Grey Part 13 Nowhere To Run.

Rikard quickly scribbles a message to Frangelica on her sign. It reads:

Tomorrow? Can't you just make it last until we reach the surface? After we get off the boat are we just going to find ourselves nice and safe in our beds or something?

Milkshake grins broadly

Of course! Congratulations, you two!

Milkshake sobers a bit

Of course, we still have to have a service for Artsy, but I'm sure the folks down at Valgria will be happy to host a wedding.