Yummy yummy yummy I got love in my tummy...

Lopez leaves the room to go check on the flight bay. Kiehart does a small jig to check and see if his legs were really back to normal. They were. "Wow. That rift really fixed me up. Anyway, after seeing that kid's music colelction I've got some serious collecting to start. It's amazing the cross section of genres he had available to him. There's this one band I REALLY liked called Life Without Buildings." He looks at everyone, and chuckles as Adon mentions the things that were 'thrown' at him. "I'd figured you'd KNOW what bullets were by now Adon. I put one in Darth Terror's arm when you two were joined remember? Hurt you too."

(to Jake)

Who the heck are you?

Go innnnnnnnnto the light, JD...

Go innnnnnnto the light...

I am....someone that would take too long to explain. Hi, Pete. If not for the picture, I never woulda recognized ya.

Hmm... You're here, and Commander Milkshake isn't... At a guess, you have some sort of connection with Milkshake, right?

SSH! Don't tell anyone. smiles And no, I don't even know what his middle name really is.

Quadsept maybe?

Hmm, now there's an idea, but I don't think it's that either.

Go into the light, already JD!

All right, all right, I'm goin'.

heaves his sack of platinum over one shoulder, staggers a bit

Sure you don't want me to stick around? I wouldn't have to be the CAPTAIN or anything but..

Enesku angrily approaches

Hey, you're pretty cute! Ow, okay, put the spear away, I'm goin'. Hey Obsy, see you on the flip side.

walks up to the rift, sticks his arm through. Milkshake's gauntlet protrudes out the other side. Jake laughs

Awesome. Okay, see ya! Next time, I'm gonna try--

walks through before he can finish his sentence. Milkshake falls out the other side with a grunt, and the computer gives several loud clicks as Colanator's personality matrix returns.

And now, K-NIT is proud to introduce our new series... The Adventures of Milkshake and Taconator

With Commander Milkshake as a discussion board moderator and Taconator as his wacky assistant. Hilarity ensues as they try to manage the completely insane group of NitCentral posters, including the punning KAM, the annoying ScottN, and the popular Kira!

This fall on K-NIT TV-47!!!!

Hey! ScottN is my favorite!

That wasn't me, honest!

Oh, and thanks.

Meanwhile, on Earth, an ill woman watches her son sleep.

Quincy walks into sickbay, grimacing in pain with his right hand on his forehead. Holodoc notices him walking toward a bed, and heads over to him.

Holodoc: Are you having those headaches again?

Quincy: Yes. And they're becoming more intense.

Holodoc: But the frequency of them has neither decreased nor increased?

Quincy: No. But if my brain was a baseball, then someone just hit a 450 foot homer with it!

Holodoc: I believe the appropriate response to that would be "Yikes!"

Quincy manages a smile, even though he is obviously in pain.

Quincy: Something like that...

He closes his mouth and starts to say something else, but winces and passes out, falling to the floor.

Now, the next question is what does our friend over Indicating West here have to do with the rift and recent activities?
Jackson walks up to West
Ok, out with it. What were you doing on my ship?

A ghostly-white woman with silver hair and the staff of a sorceress slinks out of Main Engineering. Although she appeared quite visibly with Frangelica as she came out of the rift, no one seems to have noticed her at all-- this despite her skimpy little kilt which should at least have attracted whatever Furbies were let below decks. She finds an inconscipuous corner, makes a mystic pass with her staff, then speaks quietly.

This is #47 reporting in. All members of the League are back from their previous adventure. As per instructions, I should now seek their help. However, I have detected a Small Disturbance in the Momentum. A new adventure seems to have begun brewing immediately... something on Earth, that planet that the League has been trying to avoid for reasons of ethnocentrism and drying-up of creativity. Something about an ill woman and her son. Melodrama is brewing... and long, complicated adventures.

Shall I continue and seek their help or await a more opportune time?

Up on the bridge, the repair crews have finished restoring the consoles and Milkshake is busy checking the ship's status. The communication console is last on the list and it still flashes with super-urgent subspace communiques.

Holodoc has managed to get Quincy up onto a bed. He checks Quincy out with a medical tricorder. Quincy opens his eyes.

Holodoc: How are you feeling?

Quincy: How long was I out?

Sits up.

Holodoc: Roughly 25 minutes.

Quincy: Hmmm....well, my head doesn't seem to hurt anymore, but I.... feel like I'm losing control of my powers.

Quincy and Holodoc both look surprised at what just happened.

Holodoc: I...think I'd better run some more tests. Lie back down, please.

Quincy: I think you'd better.

Meanwhile, nobody knows about the tricorder with pirate software that Kira and Obsy used as a homing device... That is, until the ships speakers boom out the following...

This is the BSA. We are reading a tricorder with illegal software on it. Heave to and prepare to be audited.

stumbles into sickbay

Can I get some help here?

Butrfli, who in the confusion has made her way to sickbay, says
What do you need, Frangelica?
Meanwhile, the two Tacomen, having taken West to the brig, enter the bridge. Alex takes his post at tactical and Jackson goes over to Milkshake and says
Well, we managed to close that rift. Now, the question is, what caused the switch in the first place?
So, what's the ship's status? Did our "guests" do anything to cause any major damage? And who is Captain West, anyway?

Still checking the consoles

Well, to answer your questions in order, Jack...I have no idea, good after a few hours of repairs, not really, and Captain South East West, leader of GROSS. Has he woken up yet?

Uh oh, the BSA. All right, who took a tricorder from the GROSSies?

Quincy sits up, as Holodoc walks over to him.

Holodoc: Well, from the results of the preliminary tests, I think I have some idea of what is happening to you.

Quincy: Well, what is it?

Holodoc: Remember how, after you became human again, I ran a few scans to make sure you were okay, and they showed a discrepancy in your genetic makeup that later corrected itself?

Quincy: Yes.

Holodoc: Well, its back. Judging from the results of both sets of tests....those conducted after your humanity was restored, and the tests I just took, I believe that your powers may be...mutating. It is quite possible that your headaches are being caused by your brain "re-wiring" itself, so to speak, to cope with these changes. And it may be affecting the part of your brain that affects your speech and your vocal cords somehow.

Quincy: That's just great! For all we know, this mutation could change my appearance, or possibly change my powers radically and even make them useless!

Holodoc: I don't think so. For one thing, I believe that at the rate this mutation is occuring, your physical appearance would already have begun to change. As for your powers....when did you actually use them last?

Quincy: Well, I created a couple of small portals while working in my lab earlier, but I haven't actually used any of my other powers in weeks.

Holodoc: Ah-ha! (He pauses, then points to a non-medical tricorder lying on a table a few feet away.) Please use your powers to destroy that tricorder.

Quincy raises an eyebrow. Holodoc nods, and Quincy raises his hand to fire an energy blast.

Quincy: Here goes!

He fires a quick blast of energy that obliterates the tricorder. However, the color of the blast is blue instead of teal!

Holodoc: Obviously, this mutation is changing the color that is manifested by your energy blasts. But that beam seemed to be unchanged, otherwise.

Quincy: I think I'll go to one of the Holodecks and test my other powers. If I can leave sickbay, that is.

Holodoc: You may. Quincy stands up. But please report any further changes, and especially notify me if your headaches start up or your voice changes again.

Quincy: I will. Notices Frangelica. Are you okay? You didn't pull a muscle playing Low-Grav Badminton in one of the Holodecks or something, did you?

(Like The Observer, the Shadow Senshi had left the Spidermobile before the author/character transfer and hadn't been switched. She had returned home to Neotokyo for a while to contemplate the recent changes that had enveloped her life (LICC3 XIV). Her peace & quiet was shattered when her mother returned home unexpectedly.)

Mom: Griselda Ethylene Evil!!!

Oh, no!
(Puts on a fake smile & goes to greet her mom)
Hi, mom. I thought you were still at grandma's.

Mom: Why is it the only way I get to see my little girl is when I catch her by surprise!?!

(She thinks) Because grandma forgot to warn me.

Coincidence, I guess. I mean, you're busy with work & stuff. I'm a superhero...

Mom: And that's another thing. Why do you insist on going around dressed like a 19 year old junior college student!?!

Well, I...

Mom: You're still in High School, for goodness sake! I least I assume, your'e still in High School! What with all your running around, flashing your panties... Oh, god, you're not dating tentacle monsters, are you?

No, mother! I'm still a virgin! And I'm still in school... I just use the correspondence method. It's been okayed with my sensais...

Mom: You mean teachers.

Sensai is Japanese for teacher.

Mom: But you're not Japanese, Grissy.

I'm Neojapanese.

Mom: You were born in New Jersey. We moved to the planet of Neojapan when you were two!

Yes, mother. (Rolls her eyes)

Mom: Don't give me that attitude, young lady! It hasn't been easy for me, being a single mother, raising you single-handedly, holding down a job, trying to find a nice man to spend my declining years with, only to come home and find my ungrateful daughter, who doesn't love me, is out running around with a bunch of sailors. *sniff* *sniff*

(Puts her arms around her mother) I love you mom, but I have a responsibility to protect people. And I don't run around with sailor sailors, it's just a bunch of girls & boys who become girls who've been given superpowers. And I haven't been running around with them much since I joined LICC anyway.

Mom: Oh, sure. Another excuse to stay away from your loving mother. I wish you'd lose those powers!

Well, I did.

Mom: Oh, good!

But I got new ones in their place.

Mom: Well, isn't that convenient.

I'm doing my part to make the universe a safer place.

Mom: While I die alone, unmourned & unloved. *sniff*

And it's a job, with paycheck.

Mom: How much?

Enough to pay half the rent & my food here.

Mom: Is there a pension?

I think so. I haven't read all of the paperwork. So you see I'm not just doing this to get away from you... Not that I would want to, I mean, you're my mommy, and I love you. (Hugs her mom, while thinking) God, I hope she buys this so I can get out of here!

Mom: Oh, Grissy. Half the rent you say?

Maybe a bit more.

Mom: Hmmm... So what is LICC like? Do you have any friends there?

Oh, yeah... Lots. Like... (To herself) What are the names of those helpful blue & yellowshirts?

Captain Tacoman.

Mom: He's dead.

He got better.

Mom: Oh.

Then there's... Who else have I had conversations with?
Josh Rikard.

Mom: Who?

Pilot of the Spidermobile. Jedi-type knight. Been with the group for years.

Mom: Never heard of him.

Enesku.

Mom: Isn't she that little psycho-slut with the spear who blows things up!?!

Uh, I don't know her all that well. (Pause) I met Frangelica, former captain, all round role model for girl superheroes. (Smiles, waiting for her mother to say something)

(A long pause)
Mom: Well, I want to meet these friends of yours and visit this Spidermobile. I mean what kind of mother would I be if I didn't inspect the place & people where my little Grissy works to see if it's an appropriate place to work & live.

(Big old fake smile) Oh, that's wonderful, mom. (Hugs her mom, while thinking) I wish I were dead... again.

Out of the still open rift several balls of light emerge and zoom out of sight.

(in The Queue's home dimension)

Okay, where did those keys to the LICC Universe go?

I think Captain West was beginning to wake up when I left the brig..
You know, when the Alex, Butrfli, and I were in that alternate dimension, Butrfli and I seriously considered getting married right there. We decided it wouldn't be right to not have our friends involved, so as soon as we get a chance, we'll do it.... I wonder if Superrabbi does non Jewish weddings...
Anyway, aferwards, Butrfli and I are going to take the kids and go on a honeymoon... a kid friendly place, of course.

Let me give you some updates on the recent happenings. We have a problem, maybe even a few more.

He connects himself to the main screen and plays the visual log of the Furby Fighter. At the beginning it's mostly Electron incoherently talking (using Furby's voice!) and explaining what happened (confusion, battle, anesthezine, escape, traps), what they did find out about the presumed conspiracy against the LICC (only a few basic but nevertheless highly interesting facts) and what they didn't find out about the universal crossover ("We know nothing!"). The other authors seemed to be very shocked by the appearance of the micro-battleship before them. Yes, in the 21st century those things were mainly unknown.

So, the repairs are under way and the sensor are still tracking the Dolphin. What now?

(sitting in Zen-Forward)

E: So who was that guy who said I was cute?

I: Must have been Commander Milkshake's, um, counterpart.

E: You think he was from that dimension we went to?

I: I don't see why not. Maybe he's one of these god-things people sometimes talk about.

E: Oh, yeah, I think Klassikos said something about them.

I: I wonder where he is now...

At work! :-D

Quincy enters one of the holodecks. Meanwhile, Twilo and Qwilchib are flying through space in their piece of junk ship. Twilo Whosyerdahdie is roughly 6 feet tall, with blue-gray skin, ridges on his forehead, red eyes with black pupils, a lizardlike tail and only two long fingers and a thumb on each hand (sort of like Nightcrawler from the "X-Men" comics). Qwilchib Mahmahmiya is just slightly over 4 feet tall, with short but spikey blue hair, pointed ears, yellow-green skin, and solid black eyes. He has six fingers (including a thumb) on each hand, and is slightly overweight (has a beer belly). Both are dressed in green and white shirts with khaki overalls. Twilo also has on a silver metal hat resembling a baseball cap.

Twilo: The repairs we made with the help of the spidership crew seem to be holding out.

Qwilchib: Yeah, but I still say the first planet we find, we sell this hunk `o junk and go back to Valtyrin.

Twilo: You just want to go back there because of the way that barmaid was lookin' at you.

Qwilchib: Heh.

Qwilchib checks their coordinates, then looks at a star chart a yellowshirt gave him.

Qwilchib: Hey, Twilo? According to this, we're pretty close to Earth!

Twilo: Earth? We haven't been there for months! How close are we?

Qwilchib: At our current speed, I'd say we could get there in about 17 hours. If the engines don't conk out on us.

Twilo: Lets go there, then. I've got a craving for a Honey and Trout milkshake from Wacky Steve's!

Qwilchib: Yeah! I want to go to New Vegas and check out some shows. I wonder if Wayne Neutron is still playing there?

Right now...we finish repairs and send a full report to Terra.

checking off items on his list

Tactical Two, Temporal Science, and Communications left. Just a little more work.

Someone hit me on the head repeatedly.

Milkshake is rummaging around inside an opened console

Okay, last check of the TempSci console, reaugmenting the polychron stabilizers.

click...click...BING! Milkshake looks up

?thgir lla gnihtyreve sI

confused looks all around

Just kidding. Check.

closes the console hatch

Last one, communications. Whoa!

Milkshake finally notices the madly flashing lights

47 outstanding hails, 42 of them from Terra. Computer, sort hails by priority and play most important one.

"Working."

The viewscreen flashes to life

"This is a Priority One message from the Department of Superheroics, Terra. Acknowledge IMMEDIATELY."

Okay, where's that Acknowledge button? The big green one? Nope, lesee...

Come on in and have a seat.
Frangelica goes to one of the biobeds. Butrfli grabs a tricorder from a nearby table and begins scanning.
It looks like a mild concussion. Nothing too serious.
Butrfli gets another instrument from the table, moves it around Frangelica's head, and rescans her.
There we go. How do you feel?

Probably that large blue button that says "Acknowledge," Steve.
Jackson reaches over and presses the button

The screen with the crest of the DoS draws back a bit as if in surprise, and then dissolves.

"Stand by to be connected to the Acting Secretary of Superheroics, Felipe Padilla, DoS codename Hombre Estupendo."

A very tired-looking man in the 31st century equivalent of a wrinkled dress shirt and tie appears on the screen. On seeing Milkshake, he stands up in shock.

"Búfalo! Captain, we have been trying to establish contact with you for two weeks now! How did you...no matter. Have you recieved news on the Hero Crisis yet?"

Not really, Mr. Secretary. We've been indisposed...well, we'll send a full report shortly. What's the situation?

The Acting Secretary sighs

Two weeks ago, at about 0300 hours New Atlantis time on May the 2nd, a strange phenomenon was reported from every corner of the planet and beyond. SOMETHING has abducted nearly every superhero on Earth. From our estimates, nearly 99 percent were taken. Some who remained mentioned fighting off strange creatures who appeared out of rifts, and some were just left alone, like myself. Nearly all of our outworld teams have been lost, and as of this morning the only ones we haven't contacted or confirmed missing are you and the Great and Really Original Superhero Squad, which at last contact was near your sector. Have you heard from them?

I think you'll find that they're mentioned a few times in our report, which our computer's chewing on right now, Mr. Secretary. You'll have it in a few minutes. How are you dealing with this Crisis situation?

We already have an Emergency Superhero Task Force in the field, Captain. From what we can determine the perpetrators are not of our dimension, and it was tough finding a method to send our team after them. I'd like you to set a course for the nearest starbase for a checkup. The League has always operated best in space so that's where we're going to keep you. However, keep in mind, with our vastly reduced presence out there your patrol routes are going to be very large in scope.

`Scuse me, but Padilla has either just been appointed to his job, or is incompetent! `Have you heard from them?' BF sent information about what GROSS did to the authors and tried to do to the spidership before he went back to HIS universe!

Sheesh, what a maroon!

Course he's just been appointed, he's ACTING Secretary of Superheroics. Duh!

Steve, this could explain what happened to us of late...

What kind of strange creatures did appear out of the rifts? Something vaguely similar happened here when we were replaced by our counterparts from a really weird but somehow familiar universe. But they were harmless compared to us.

GROSS is another story...

Meanwhile, the Secretary has been examining the report, with more and more shock seeping into his tired expression

This...this is amazing. Years of hard feelings against your group, and they finally got their chance with the Hero Crisis. Doesn't explain how they foiled the Herotakers, but that doesn't matter now. Captain Milkshake, I see from your compiled sensor logs that just after the Event that switched you people with your dimensional counterparts, your Polymorph Rifle was fired wildly, and the beam struck an alien ship. The records, however brief, on this ship fit with the descriptions we have so far of the Herotaker aliens.

I hesitate to conclude that your situation was associated with the Hero Crisis; our heroes simply DISAPPEARED, and they have not yet returned, and they were not replaced with any dimensional counterparts. It could be one terrible coincidence.

Quincy comes walking out of the Holodeck. He isn't pleased.

C-r-a-p on a stick! It looks like I'm going to have to go repaint my armor and have a new outfit made up!

He walks to a turbolift, enters it, and heads to his quarters.

Sir, this is Jackson Dupree...
As for what happened to us, the Spidership has had its share of strange and weird events in its lifetime.. I mean, look at Adon and me.. Killed in battle, but brought back from the dead!
Alexander: And look at me... I was transported here from an alternate dimension when an attempt was made to bring Jackson back to life!

Adon sticks his head out of a access hatch in the ceiling. He faces the viewscreen and recieves a very supprised look from the Secretary.

A massive disappearance from a particular group is unusual, but not unheard of. Normally, they vanish, only to reappear some time later. The only wildcard in this instance is the appearance of a group to take our place.

Milkshake looks up at Adon and asks what he's doing.

I'm checking the crawlspace for bugs and damage. Why else would I be here?

Quit looking for bugs. I already did a thorough sweep, and we're clean. Found three of them on the bridge and two in engineering, and destroyed all of them.

Everyone looks at the direction of the turbolift. Quincy is standing outside of it, wearing a blue sleeveless shirt with his comm-badge on it, silver metal wristbands, blue gloves, a silver metal belt with storage compartments on it (Not the same one BF had as GhostMachine; same type of belt but a different design), black pants, and black boots.

Apparently, my powers have changed some. Everything has a blue color instead of teal now, so I felt a change of outfit was in order.

Pauses.

Now, whats this I hear about some group disappearing?

Not just one, Quincy, many.

(Observer looks back to the viewscreen)

Secretary Padilla, are there any active threats to Earth right now?

Computer, patch me through to the Space Marshalls' central database.

Several seconds later.

Voice analysis required. State your name and rank, please.

Rocket, Quincy Kyle. Rank: Lieutenant.

Identity confirmed.

Show me any reports that mention any mysterious disappearances of superheroes, either team or solo operatives, within the last month.

Several seconds later, a console flashes to life. The number of reports listed on the monitor is too numerous to comprehend.

Holy!....

Hmmmm....Computer, patch me through to the Galactic Order Office Of Intelligence, using scamble code Delta Nine.

Command Acknowledged. Link will take approximately two minutes to establish.

Two minutes later, a woman with short blonde hair, dressed in a black & silver uniform with a purple turtleneck answers.

This is Agent Coordinator Slater. Name including rank and authentication code, please?

Captain Quincy Rocket. Authentication code...Asimov Was Wrong About Robots, And Yes I Would Like Some Tea.

AC Slater: Identity confirmed. How may I help you, Captain Rocket?

Quincy: Has the agency received any reports about heroes disappearing from Earth under mysterious circumstances lately?

Slater turns to a computer monitor, types in a few things on a keyboard, then turns to Quincy a few minutes later.

Slater: Yes, and the number of these reports is staggering.

Quincy: I know. Could you please have someone send me a synopsis, containing any similarites between these disappearances and any possible theories as to WHY this may be happening?

Slater (smiling): Yes, Captain Rocket. I would be very happy to.

Quincy: Thank you very much. Rocket, out.

[And no, there is NOT a nit in this post.]

There's a nit in that post! He said he was a Lieutenant, then changed it to Captain!

Wrong. He's obviously a Lieutenant in the Space Marshalls, and a Captain in Galactic Intelligence.

So that's not a nit. HOWEVER, there *IS* a spelling nit. There should only be one 'l' in "Marshals".

Morin and Dorin sat in a small cloaked ship, waiting for the Spidership to come around. Morin laughed triumphantly.

Morin: "Bwa-hahahaha! Soon, the Spidership will pass by, and we can use our own version of gunboat diplomacy to take some of their advanced technology with us!"

Dorin: "Uh... Morin."

Morin: "DON'T INTRUPT ME! Now... where was I?"

Dorin: "Theft of their technology."

Morin: "Theft is such a dirty word. I prefer the phrase 'permanenty borrow.'"

Dorin (mumbling): "Well, whatever you call it, its still theft."

Morin: "After we liberate their technology and sell it to the highest bidder, we'll be rich! Rich beyond our wildest dreams!"

Morin rubbed his hands together and chuckled.

Dorin: "But Morin..."

Morin: "How many times must I tell you not to interrupt me when I'm explaining the plot?"

Dorin: "First off... I'm the only one here, and you've already explained the plot to me several times.

And second... the Spidership is here."

Morin pointed towards the biewscreen. Sure enough, the spidership was on the screen and larger than life and quickly getting bigger. Dorin tried to move the ship out of the flight path, but the Spidership was too close and moving too fast. It ran over Morin and Dorin's ship with all the force of a bug hitting a windshield, it had about the same effect on each ship, and the smaller ship was crushed against the Spidership's shields.

A tiny escape pod drifted undetected away from the wreckage.

Morin: "Why didn't you tell me that the Spidership was that close?"

Dorin: "I tried, but you wouldn't let me talk."

Morin: "Oh, that's your excuse for everything..."

Meanwhile, on board the Spidership...
Adon looked around the bridge.
Adon: "Did you hear something?"

Everyone shook their heads. Adon shrugged went back to work.

I thought I just felt a small bump, but it was probably just something tiny hitting the shields.

Checks his scanners.

There was a [INSERT TECHNOBABBLE PARTICLE NAME HERE] surge at the exact moment of the "bump". I suspect that there's a cloaked ship out there.

Great. More paperwork to fill out, and the APM is already hard at work placating those BSA guys.

pressing a few buttons on his console
Confirmed. Tactical sensors show the same surge that Quantum Man found.
Interesting.... It looks like the sensors recorded an image of the ship as it hit the shields... It's not a good picture, but it's what we've got. Should I put it on the viewscreen?

Go ahead, Alex.

Kiehart enters the bridge. "Well, I had to clean up my quarters and return the hoverchair to medlab. What did I miss? Was that bump us rolling over a cloaked ship or something?"

looks up from his chair's control panel

Apparently so. Sensors confirm wreckage, but Secretary Padilla wants us continuing to Starbase Z-Alpha. One of our escorts, the Amore, is breaking off to check for survivors.

"Wow. That was just a guess. Anyway, I've sent out a call to the freighter carrying the replacement Banshee fighters to go to that base instead of the one on Frogstar Planet B. An ugly little place, but the house prices are reasonable. Probably cause of all the Disembodied Voices. So, what's this I've been hearing about missing superheroes?"

Alex presses a few more buttons, and an image appears on the viewscreen. The image shows the outline of a small ship as it hits the shields.
That's the best I can give you. I never would have guessed that cloked objects would be outlined like this...

The two balls of light passed through the ship's hull, headed for Earth, went directly to the Garden of Unresolved Plots, and found that despite there being four wings devoted to KAM's failed ideas there was still a 7 month waiting period to get in.

When last seen the balls of light were begging for spare credits so they could stay at a local flop house.

(Meanwhile on Duckworld, Steve Omega was just about to leave for work when an elf appeared outside his door)

Hello. Are you Steve Omega of 4747 Defenders Way?

Steve: Why yes, I am.

Good.

(Pulls out a gun and shoots him dead with an Omeganite bullet, then the elf pulls out a list & crosses off Steve Omega's name)

One down.

Hey look! A box with a button that says Push on it. I wonder what'll happen.

(Kenny pushes the button and explodes)

Alex rechecks the sensors
Sir, the sensors recorded something strange...
It seems that the rift wasn't fully closed, and a pair of glowing orbs raced out of it. For some reason, the orbs left the ship and headed to parts unknown...

Glowing orbs? Like the ones that were probably around here at the time of our disappearance?

kswish!

The elevator doors opened and out stepped The Masked Enigma, a new hero.

Greetings and felicitations. I am the Mausked Enigma, Mauster of Disguise. I wish to offer my services.

(The Masked Enigma wears a black costume with red highlights, speaks in an exaggerated aristocratic English accent, and has a Cyrano deBergerac nose.)

(Shadow Senshi, & her mother, approach the Spidermobile in a shuttle)
Shadow Senshi to Spidermobile, I have returned and I brought... a guest. Please open shuttle bay doors.

Voice from ship: Shadow who? Never heard of you.

*sigh* I used to be called Sailor Evil. I changed it last month. After the memorial service.

VFS: Hmmm, well we do have a Sailor Evil listed as a member, so I guess you can land, but you'll have to present identification on disembarking.

Okay. (Switches off com)

Mom: They don't even know who you are?

Uh... Security precautions! Yes, security precautions. It just wouldn't do to have the flagship of the Department of Superheroics be easily boarded by any old person claiming to be a superhero, now would it?

(On Evets XII, Howard the Destroyer opened his medicine cabinet to find an elf inside)

Hello. Are you Howard the Destroyer?

(Howard prepares to strike the intruder) Yes, as you are going to fi...

(The elf vaporizes Howard with a ray gun, then checks off another name on his list)

Another one down.

I thought KAM said the PUSH button didn't do anything?

Well, it was a redshirt. And did you notice? The box was unharmed by the explosion.

*sniff*

The energy reading on the orbs from the rift are different from the energy that caused the switch.

*sniff* *sniff*

Further readings indicate that they were a poorly thought out idea that we shouldn't worry about.

ACHOO!

I just don't feel well at all. I'd better see the doctor.

(She goes down to Sickbay and sees several other crewmembers there as well.)

Holodoc: (Scans her) Another one. (Gives her a hypo) Doctor to the Captain! I'm declaring a Medical Emergency. Apparently someone, either one of those 'Author' people, a crewmember who traveled to the past, or even GROSS, have brought an extinct virus to this time period.
It's not fatal... except to redshirts, however I'd like everyone on the ship to be treated, and anyone who's been on the ship & left since the switch should be told to return.
Since the cure was found on an old 5.5 floppy from the 24th century, I would guess that most doctors would be unprepared for it.

*sniff* Well, if the GROSSies have it then any outbreaks of the virus would indicate where they have been or might be. I'm starting to feel better Doc, what was in that hypo?

Holodoc: Martian Chicken Soup.

Doctor: Butrfli, are you alright?
Butrfli: I'm fine, Doctor. I managed to place a spell on myself that makes me immune to whatever is going around...
AACCHHOO!
I guess it didn't work... Pass me that hypo.

Looks at Enigma a minute, then speaks

All right, may I see your resumé and references?

hits the intercom button

Proceed with the cure, Doc.

Resume? References? Ha Ha Ha!

The Masked Enigma laughed derisively.

I have none of neithah, and neithah of none. That is why I am the Mausked Enigma, nothing is known of me. Howevah, my ties ah to the good, and you nevah ausk anyone else foh theiah resume oh references. Silly blue ahmoh man.

Well, the DoS says we need to check references now, but I suppose you can stick around until you prove yourself. You can have that empty seat by the Slush Puppy machine.

Kiehart sniffs, and hears a teeny bubbling noise coming out of his nose. "Aw man," he groans. "This can't be happening." He rubs his temples. "My sinuses are acting up. I'm going to sickbay."

Looking at the Masked Enigma
Welcome to the team. I'm Jackson, the former Captain and fearless leader of the LICC.
Be careful, there seems to be a cold epidemic going around, and with that magnificant nose of yours...
Alexander opens his mouth to speak, but all that comes out is...
ACHOOO!
Oh no..not me too...

Well, I guess there's ONE good thing about originally being from the 20th century!

Author's note: See "Quantum Genesis" on the LICC Home Page.

You're right about that, Quantum.

Definitly.

Quincy walks into sickbay. He has a handkerchef in his right hand, and is holding it over his nose.

Oh, man. Doc, I feel awful! You gotta do something about t-t-t-this c-c-c-c....AH-CHOOO!!!

Butrfli, who by this time has been been given treatment, is hypospraying people left and right.
Doctor, what if we sprayed the Chicken Soup into the ship's ventilation system? Would that go through the entire ship, curing everybody?

Yes, but then the entire interior of the ship would be coated with chicken soup. Who's going to clean that up?

Besides it would waste most of the soup. Rememember Martian chicken soup is made from Martian chickens, which because of Mars' lesser gravity have grown to be, at least, 2 meters tall and they can kill a man with a single kick.

Needless to say it is very hard to come by & can not be replicated.

Fortunately the galley had a can of Martian Chicken concentrate.

Doubly fortunate it did not contain noodles. It's very difficult to squeeze noodles through a hypospray.

HAPTCHEE!

Don't even mention "inserting the noodle" as a suppository, doc.

HAPTCHEE!

If we were to make the Chicken Soup into gas form and then insert it into the ventilation system, would it still be effective? In that case, there wouldn't be chicken soup all over the place when the process is done...

Adon began typing on his control panel.

I'm broadcasting a warning to all ships not to dock with us, since there's a bug going around. Don't worry about my getting sick, since Wanderers are generally immune to diseases. It really helps when you're traveling between universes, since you encounter all sorts of nasty bugs that your system would have no defence against.

Twilo and Qwilchib are in New Vegas. Twilo is playing Blackjack. He has 12.

Hit me.

New card. Its a 3. He has 15.

Hit me baby, one more time.

Its a 6! Blackjack!

Oops! I did it again! 3 Blackjacks in a row! WOO HOO!

Speak not those words!

throws a variety of really heavy musical instruments on top of Twilo and Qwilchib for quoting THE EVIL ONE!

The Doctor grabs his mobile emitter

Perhaps this would go quicker if I became...

Disco Doc?

Suddenly the Doctor is standing there in the classic Saturday Night Fever pose, while wearing a white, John Travolta-style disco suit, rhinestone covered shades & roller skates, and sporting the biggest afro ever seen in a millennium.

Meanwhile the sickbay now has a glitterball hanging from the ceiling and the floor appears to be squares of flashing colored light.

Disco Doc grabs two hyposprays, and skates around the ship inoculating crewmembers to the accompaniment of disco music.

Quincy, who has already been inoculated, taps his comm-badge.

=/\=Attention! Attention! This is a shipwide annoucement: Be on the lookout for the EMH. Do not worry about the music, his attire, or the way he is dancing as he inoculates you. He simply has a case of.....

BOOGIE FEVER!=/\=

Just as the Bee-Gees hit the high note in Stayin' Alive a boogying redshirt's head explodes.

Disco Disco Doc! I want to be a Disco Doc!

Seemingly from out of nowhere, a group of small space vessals drop into view around the Spidership. At least 47 of them spread out in a spherical formation around the Spider, but it's difficult to tell the exact number. Just as the design is difficult to place--the sensors have trouble getting a lock through the haze that seems to surround each ship, and which forms a shimmering net between them.

Without the courtesy of a hail, a communication takes over the Spidership's audio channels.

wE ARE THE DISINFECTORS. wE HAVE DETECTED A NEW STRAIN OF DISEASE ABOARD YOUR VESSEL. sURRENDER YOUR SHIP AND CREW FOR CLENSING OR PREPARE TO BE BOARDED.

The network of misty light between the little ships begins to glow as the sphere closes in....

Milkshake stands

We don't intend to let any mysterious outsiders aboard our ship by any means. Shields. Warm up the warp core, but I don't think we can get through this formation without firing. Jack, you think we should consider them hostile?

Quincy is on the bridge, when a blueshirt turns toward him.

There's a message coming in for you.

Quincy turns toward the blueshirt.

I'll take it here.

A monitor flickers to life. It shows static at first, but then switches to crystal clear clarity. Its Quincy's wife, Shirana, and she now has a short haircut. Quincy smiles.

Quincy: Hey, babe. Haven't heard from you in weeks!

Shirana (smiling): Well, I have some good news. pauses. We finally caught....him!

Quincy (confused): Him?

Shirana (smiling): Bilandtedd!

Quincy looks stunned.

Quincy: When?! And how?! That no-good b*****d's been on the run for years!

Shirana (smiling): He slipped up big-time. Used a fake identification tablet on Sterektiko III last night that we already uncovered a few weeks ago.
Zarbi and I managed to catch him as he was fleeing from three Space Marshalls and took him into custody.

Quincy (smiling): Good. Glad to see that piece of scum off the streets...so to speak. He'll get at least 320 years, easy. Of course, since he's already under a death sentence, I doubt if they'll even bother with another trial.

Shirana: They won't. The Judges' Council already decided that, since he's been evading justice for so long, to dispense with any further delays and execute him immediately.

Quincy: Have they decided a method of execution?

Shirana: Disintegration. They considered making him die by his own wares, but decided that even he doesn't deserve a fate THAT bad.

The blueshirt, standing by and listening, chimes in.

Blueshirt: Pardon me for being nosey, but...who is this `Bilantedd' guy, and what exactly did he do that was so horrible?

Shirana: Bilantedd Teddanbil. He was convicted and sentenced to death for dealing in some of the most vile, horrible creations known to exist. Things that would drive any person insane. Unfortunately, he managed to bribe a guard who helped him escape. That was almost a decade ago.

Blueshirt: What exactly were these terrible things?

Quincy: Antique objects of profound horror. But the two worst were probably holotapes of `Long Distance Telephone' commercials by an annoying twentieth century comedian known as `Carrot Top'.... and Fuglewarr Thulmajinkers!

A passing redshirt overhears the mention of `Fuglewarr Thulmajinkers', and drops over dead, a look of abject horror on his face.

Blueshirt: Sorry I asked!

The blueshirt walks off.

Quincy: Anything else, or just delivering some good news?

Shirana's face turns stone serious.

Shirana: Unfortunately, I have some bad news to deliver. But its too important to tell you over subspace. I'll have to tell you in person.

Quincy: That bad, huh? Well, how soon can you get here? Or would you like me to meet you somewhere?

Shirana: You'd better meet me. Can you make it to Avasaria Prime?

Quincy: Yeah, sure. In the SnowCrane, I can probably get there in about three hours, if I leave immediately and travel at maximum warp.

Shirana: Good. Meet me at the Holo-Museum near the old...

Quincy: I know the place.

Shirana: Good. And bring Kiehart with you.

Quincy: Kiehart? Why him?

Shirana: Because our superiors asked that he be given this information as well. The Galactic Order High Council, for some reason, thinks Kiehart might make a good....liason, or something, between them and Earth eventually.

Quincy: You have GOT to be kidding!

Shirana: I'm not.

Quincy: Fine. I'll go find him and see if he'll come along, but I'm not making any promises. Don't be surprised if I show up by myself.

Shirana puts her mouth to her lips, then touches it to the camera. Quincy gives her a smile and a quick wink, then walks away as the monitor shuts off.

Computer, patch into the Galactic Order NewsNet, and let me know as soon as Bilantedd Teddanbil's execution starts.

Affirmative.

He walks off in search of Kiehart.

It's not a new strain, you dangerously dimwitted 'disinfectors'! It's an old strain and it's under control!

You are not authorized by the Galactic Medical Association to operate in this sector of space and GMA Interceptors are on their way here to deal with your quantum quackery.

cORRECT. wE ARE NOT WITH THE gma. tHEY HOLD NO AUTHORITY OVER US. aND WITHIN OUR NET NO OTHER SHIP CAN IDENTIFY YOURS.

rEPEAT. sURRENDER YOUR SHIP OR PREPARE TO BE BOARDED.

The misty net, anchored by the little ships, closes in even further, and the hull of the Spidership begins to gleam as scattered threads of light spread out over it.

Spidermobile to Disinfectors. If you do not withdraw within one minute, we will consider you hostile and open fire.

turns around Adon, Alex, charge the weapons. If these guys don't turn back, and I don't think they will, punch us a hole directly ahead. Our jumping to warp right in the middle of them should knock them for a loop, but we need a clear path.

Aye sir.
Alex presses some buttons, activating the phasers, torpedos, and the Polymorph Weapon.
May I suggest we clear the way with the phasers and torpedos, and hit them with the Polymorph weapon as escape?
Jackson, on the other hand, is consulting the science station for information on the Disinfectors.
Steve, I've found something... It seems these guys are a nomadic and unlicensed band of medical beings that go around healing starship crews and then charging them highiy for it. If the crews don't comply, they sterilize the entire ship of all lifeforms, including the crew.

Well, that would go under piracy, wouldn't it?

Kiehart sneezes. Jackson Tacoman looks at him. "I thought you were invulnerable Jason. Shouldn't you be immune to this?" Kiehart coughs then sneezes again. "Immune to FATAL illnesses yes." He sneezes yet again. "Relatively harmless dieseases like this frikkin' cold on the other hand," he sneezes yet again, and collapses to the ground, groaning. "Things like this knock me for a loop. Excuse me, I'm going to sick bay to get another hypospray of that martian soup."

Shall I get out in my ship?

That could be a good idea. Fighter crews to your ships, hold ready for launch. If Plan A fails, taking on these swarming guys one on one could be our best bet to get away, plus it'd be a great distraction.

Shirana puts her mouth to her lips

Man, she must have a weird looking face!

Quincy finally manages to track down Kiehart.

How would like to take a little trip to Avasaria Prime? It seems the Galactic Order High Council has some information for me, and for some reason, they want you to hear it, too.

rESISTANCE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. tHE HEALTH OF THE GALAXY IS AT STAKE. bUT OPEN FIRE...iF YOU CAN.

The Disinfector ships emit a burst of what looks like visible radiation, but behaves like cobwebs, floating inward from the misty net and adhering to the Spidership wherever a power conduit or weapons port or sensor array runs along or protrudes from the hull. They pass right thorugh the defensive shields. Power begins draining rapidly from all affected sections....

(Shadow Senshi's shuttle, which hadn't yet landed because it had been told to wait until the quarentine was dropped, had been ignored and passed by the Disenfectors since there was no disease aboard.)

Excuse me, mom. Duty calls.

(She turns into a smokelike figure and disappears, reappearing outside the shuttle in gaseous form and heads toward, and envelops, one of the Disinfector ships, shutting off it's power and causing it's portion of the net to weaken.)

(Several Disinfector ships are blasted and disabled as a squad of interceptors come out of warp)

This is Dr. Straker of the Galactic Medical Association! Disinfectors you've been warned about operating in this sector of space! Release the ship and surrender yourselves!

Energy-suckers, eh? Colanator, you know what to do.

Aye, Commander. Changing polarity now.

Let's see, we should have enough power left to open the fighter bay doors. Milkshake to fighters. Launch and engage the enemy.

oUR SACRED MISSION MUST NOT BE COMPROMISED. dO NOT INTERFERE.

The Disinfector ships on the side of the net nearest the GMA interceptors turn their attention from the Spidership for a few moments. In a single burst of power, the entire GMA squadron is caught together in a complex energy web and hurled out into the depths of space....

Milliseconds later the misty net around the Spider resumes its former tension and strength.

oNE LAST CHANCE. wILL YOU SURRENDER?

Somebody take over for me!
Alex presses a button on his console and he disappears through a trapdoor. He slides along a tunnel which opens into the fighter bay and lands into the cockpit of the fighter that was built for him under his specifications. Seconds later, he roars out of the fighter bay and joins the other fighters. Jackson looks at the spot Alex has just vacated and says
Well, that was different. I guess I'll take over for him...
With that, Jackson steps up to the tactical console.
Steve, if we hit a couple of the Disinfector ships with the Polymorph Weapon, we might be able to turn them into something harmless...

Good idea, but we need to divert enough power for the Poly to work, it takes a lot of juice. Colanator, make the necessary arrangements.

Acknowledged.

All fighters, avoid the space directly foreward of the Spidermobile.

All right, Jack. Fire the Poly on wide beam, directly ahead.