I am, I said...

It is the thirty-first century. Ulysses killed the giant Cyclops when he rescued the children and his son, Telemachus. But the ancient gods of Olympus are angry, and threaten a terrible revenge!

(sorry)

Lopez watches the bouncing Furby-doll with Colanator's personaltiy matrix inside it, and chuckles. "I'm sorry but this is just too funny. Um, well, we appear to be in a Hollyweird {Note: That was deliberate slam against the film industry} studio where the LICC Series is filmed. If I had to guess I'd say our counterparts are in parts of the area that AREN'T abaord the Spidership. It's only a hypothesis at this point but I imagine that some doors lead to other parts of the studio, while others would take us back to the Spidership. It's possible that movement back and forth between this reality and ours is posisble, and in fact an unconscious studio secuirty guard stepped into the Fighter Bay not too long after I stepped onto a plywood recreation of a grassy hill." Lopez smiles. "I imagine if Jason Kiehart were here he wouldn't have made it through that without saying the F word at least three times." Alex nods. "Yeah, he did have quite the pottymouth didn't he?"

By now, the only ones around Alex and friends are Sue Wong and a few curious stagehands and other crew.
Alex: Well, Colanator, we seem to have drifted into a dimension where the LICC is nothing but a television show. It seems to be produced by K-NIT TV-47, whoever they are. From what I've seen, you, me, Lopez, and Artsy-Fartsy are the only ones here.
Now, does that 'bot have feet, or do you need us to carry you?
Sue Wong: Hold on... You aren't Neil Sands, are you?
Alex: Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm Alexander Dupree Tacoman Various amazed sounds from the small crowd
Somehow, the real Spidership and your dimension have crossed.
Sue: Now, what happened to Neil?
Alex: I have no idea... maybe when and if I leave, he'll return.

What the devil is going on down at the set?

Where's my flunky? I need him to straighten things out!

Hello? Hello!

What did I say? Don't touch the Furby!

Look what you've done to my little terror device. He's completely out of control! Wait, I'll tell it to my uncle and he'll kick you in your naughty bits! Whodunit???

Most members of the stage crew realise that the FX guy is indeed the nephew of one of TPTB at K-Nit TV-47 and "flee".

I've got it! I'll call my nephew down on the stage!

picks up phone

Janice, get me the FX guy for that LICC show!

Janice is EE's secretary...

Alex looks over at Lopez and nods. Each grabs hold of the Colabot and begin running. The FX guy and a bunch of security run after them, demanding the Furbybot back and a bunch of answers. It's then that Alex notices a door.
Lopez, in here!
Lopez flings open the door, and the three fling themselves through it, only to discover that they're on the real Spidership bridge. When Alex turns around to look, he discovers that he's in front of the main viewscreen He also notices Commander Rikard and the rest of the bridge crew looking at him strangely.
Alex: Hello Commander. You may be wondering how we got here, and why we're carrying a animatronic Furby, am I right?

Artsy nods to the young man. "Of course, Skip, go right ahead. Sorry to bother you."

Skip turns away and begins setting up something on the Sickbay set and Artsy stands for a moment, watching him. How odd to think that there is even someone who looks like Observer in this--whatever it is.

As she turns to leave, the crate starts beeping again. Skip ignores it, so Artsy--a bit reluctant to leave anyone so familiar-looking--calls to him, "Is that your communicator, Skip? Better answer it."

"It's completely non-sensical! How could the area behind the set of the Fighter Bay lead to the bridge? And how could the main entrance to the Fighter Bay lead to a planetary location set? Mapping this is going to be impossible." Alex nods. "Especially if it's random. What if we walk through that door again and wind up in the set for Engineering, or wind up in the real sickbay you tried to beam into when you met up with me?"

Actually, Alex, we know exactly why. AS you have undoubtedly noticed, parts of the ship are no longer the ship. The Masked Enigma has been able to map most of the affected locations. What information did you learn while you were in this other location?

From what I can tell, the Spidership has become intertwined with a dimension in which an entertainment program based on the adventures of the LICC is produced. More specifically, the soundstage of "LICC: The Series" and its various sets. Lopez and I were mistaken for the actors that appearently portray us on the show. I even met the woman who portrays Butrfli. As far as I know, Lopez, myself, Colanator, and Artsy-Fartsy were the only ones that were there. Colanator was housed in a primative computer, but is now in this Furbybot. Artsy is still there.
Colanator had just transfered himself to this Furbybot when its controller reappeared and gave chase with a few guards. We opened a door, and here we are... I could always go back with a tricorder and make recordings if needed.

"Communicator? Har har, no, just one of the prop tricorders for the set."

Skip pulls the madly flashing 'prop' from the crate and waves it around. He pokes at it a couple of times, silencing the beep.

"Must be on the fritz, I'll make sure someone takes a look at it."

The prop continues to flash, especially when it's pointed in Artsy's direction. Skip turns to set the 'prop' aside, but he notices the display, and his jaw drops just a bit. He stares at Artsy for a minute, then squares his shoulders, speaking softly.

"You're not from around here, are you?"

Spaghetti isn't good, especially if it's inside dimensional barriers. Perhaps the Jeffries tubes go around these static rifts.

Darn. That AI is gone.

It looks like you're all ignoring me! Would you like some help?

"You're not from around here, are you?"

At Skip's sudden question, Artsy took a closer look at him and wondered if the resemblance was really a coincidence after all. "Well, not really, no. How could you tell? Everyone else thinks I'm Leilani Paige."

Colanator, should we find a more sutable body for you? I bet your original body plan is still in the replicator system. You wouldn't be able to morph, but at least you'll have your body again...

Now that the 'secret' is out, Skip looks and speaks a bit more confidently. He makes sure no-one else is about before answering.

"Mostly because my sensor (he waves the prop) is telling me you're most definitely not from this dimension. You're what I was looking for. Now, the most important thing is to stay calm and inconspicuous. I can help you get back, if you want."

You're still not in your own world, Homer! I can get you home, but you have to do everything I....

(The potato-headed aliens watch Alex reporting to Rikard.)

So they are interdimensional wormoholes! I owe you a Sluggo-cola!

But what's all this about an entertainment program based on LICC?

Is it important?

Well, some of them are disappearing into this other dimension. There must be some way to put that to our advantage.

You may be right!

How embarassing! A Furbybot!

I think I should do a crossover to this TV dimension and let slip the scpipts of war!

Mwuahahahaha!!!

Alex regards the real Furby and the Colanator controlled Furbybot.
Well, if you really wanted to, we could switch you for the Furbybot and really scare the FX guy. I was thinking of returning the 'bot when we got Colanator out of it...

Rebuilding my original frame would take approximately 17 hours, and that's without power fluctuations from rift-affected systems.

Is anyone watching Dimensional Cartography?

Artsy moves closer to Skip and lowers her voice, per his request. "That would be great. I have no idea how I got here, but there's at least one other person from my ship out on the other--whatever these rooms are. Shall we go find him?"

"Right. I assume you two come from the same dimension, I'll take a reading to make it easier to find him."

Skip waves the 'prop' at Artsy, then pokes and prods it a bit. The puzzlement is clear on his face.

"What is it?" Artsy asks.

"The results are a bit confusing. This is showing three distinct dimensional
signatures on your person. Two different dimensions are integrated through
your body, Nevesytrof and Eninytenin. It looks like you originated from one
of them, but have been living in the other, and by taking in air and
consumables from the new universe, its particles have naturally integrated
themselves into you. There's also a sprinkling of Xisytxisxis particles,
which is a little scary. I once visited one of those dimensions, and I never
want to go back. Hellish type of place."

He pokes the sensor again.

"I'm getting traces of Nevesytrof particles from another building. Let's go."

Alex looks at the readings taken by the Masked Enigma
It looks like the scpipts deck was partially transformed... I bet they're in the other dimension, not being supervised...
Sir, do you want me to go back and look for Artsy? I can take a video device so you can see the place for yourself.

I'll do this and I promise not to look under women's skirts. Mostly. Sometimes. Maybe.

Enters the turbolift.

Go ahead Alex. We'll try to figure out who did this and figure out some way to get rid of it.

Alex takes another look at the scans, grabs a PADD and a tricorder from a handy storage area, and downloads the information onto the PADD.
I figure I ought to have a map with me. Also, I can trace the connections between dimensions...discover where various doors lead to.
Besides, someone needs to keep an eye on Furby.
With that, Alex walks over to the Ready Room Doors and enters. On the other side is the Ready Room studio set. Alex looks back, only to discover that the door is now just a set piece.
Furby? Artsy?

Adon sat in a police interrogation room with hands in handcuffs. His sword and sheath was sitting on a table in a nearby room.

First Cop: "I just want to make sure that we have this right. You stepped through a door on the 'Spidership' and came out on the TV set. Finding yourself not on the ship anymore, you decided to wander around the studio, until the security folks apprehended you and brought you to us."

That's correct, officer.

Second Cop: "And you claim to be the Adon that is depicted on the LICC TV show?"

Well, I am, in a manner of speaking.

Second Cop: "Right. Just wait here for a few more minutes, ok... Adon."

Sure, but I have to be leaving soon.

The cops nodded and stepped out of the room, where they began discussing the mental state of the person they picked up, and began making arrangements to move him to the nearest mental hospital.

About a half hour later, they re-entered the room with a pair of orderlies to take Adon to the hospital.

Adon stood up when they entered.

I'm sorry, but I really have to get going. I have to find my shipmates, and I'm afraid that they haven't seen me in some time. Time is getting all twisted.

Adon pulled the handcuffs apart as if they were made out of wet noodles. The orderlies stepped back as the cops drew their guns. But before they could even aim, the guns flew out of their hands and inconviently stuck to the ceiling.

Adon held out his hand, and his sword and sheath crashed through several walls before coming to a rest in his hand. He bucked the sheath on, and looked at the officers who came running to try and stop Adon.

Gentlemen, it has been fun. Good day.

The skylight above Adon's head exploded out, and Adon floated off of the floor, through the skylight, and off into the sky.

Skip and Artsy leave sound stage 6b and head across the lot to yet another sound stage. A security guard tips his hat to Artsy as they pass, and in attempt to play the part she smiles brilliantly back at him.

The role-playing sends a wave of pink through Artsy's clothes and still-short hair. The guard's startled eyes follow her sharply, then he turns and walks rapidly after them.

"Uh, Skip?" Artsy taps him on the shoulder, her embarrassed color starting to shade blue. "I think I just did what you told me not to. I think maybe people here don't change colors, do they...?"

"Not generally..." Skip looks back at Artsy, then spreads his hands in helplessness. "We can't really do anything about it. If anyone asks we can pretend it's a special costume or some such. Best we just find a rift and get you home."

They keep on searching the new set, Skip taking an unobstrusive glance at his sensor every so often. He speaks quietly as they go.

"Really quite interesting that there's a universe where this television show is real. The plot seems a bit farfetched to me, but I guess truth is stranger than fiction."

Hey, Leilani!

(Skip and Artsy turn to see a man has entered the set. He is in his mid-twenties and looks astonishingly like PD Insane on the Spidership. However, his hair is much tidier, although still applied with grease, and his demeanor is more macho. Skip recognises him as Andy Mikkleson, the actor who plays PD Insane.)

We were supposed to be meeting for dinner at the Hong Kong restaurant! (he stares at Leilani a bit more) I'm amazed at that thing you can do with your skin. It just makes you look even more beautiful. (Artsy continues to go even bluer with apprehension. Andy Mikkelson's attention then turns to Skip, who knows Andy has done this with several LICC actresses) Hey, Skip, lost something? Can I help?

The Furby has landed somewhere on the Spidership set.

Let the mayhem begin.

He carefully explores the area, always using the old duck&cover approach, an old paper bag over his head and his sensors. Suddenly he spots a familiar face and quickly decides to spray pheromones.

Miss Wong... I didn't recognize you with your wings off.
You wanna put that in English for those of us who don't speak Furbish?
That's a nice little nothing you're almost wearing.
I think you are a sexist misogynist dinosaur, a relic from the junkyard.
If I want sarcasm, Miss Wong, I'll talk to my operator, thank you very much.
Believe it or not, in an empty storage room it happens - Sue Wong kisses the Furby! And the fun continues, using a few pillows and a small ladder...
Behave yourself, Furby, we're being filmed!
Again?

Yes, the Furby's internal cameras are still hooked to the real Spidership's main viewscreen and the crew there watches the whole situation in amazement through the Furby's eyes.
Rikard: My God, what's the Furby doing?
Blueshirt-BIMOL: I think he's attempting re-entry, sir.

Now put your clothes back on, and I'll buy you an ice cream.
When one is in the movie business, one should delve deeply into its treasures.

Leaving the exhausted Sue Wong behind the Furby continues his mission, to explore new beds and female lifeforms, to boldly steal where no artificial lifeform has stolen before.
But what's that? Yes, over there's Artsy, with a few guys and more importantly a highly suspicious guard is closing in. The Furby quickly changes his behaviour to "animatronic zombie" and lets his eyes glow red. The guard is indeed distracted.

What are you, boy? Some kinda doomsday machine?
Names is for tombstones, baby!
The guard draws his gun and aims it at the Furby.
The insurance company is NEVER going to believe this!
Thank you very much. I was just out walking my operator and seem to have lost my way...
I will look forward personally to exterminating you piece of junk.
Do you expect me to talk?
No Furbybot, I expect you to die!
I hope I can live up to your high standards.
The Furby zaps him and drags him off.
The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

Rikard watches the scene with a slightly disturbed look on his face. He turns to a female Blueshirt who's obviously a fan of the Furby...
Another Blueshirt-BIMOL: Don't ask.
Rikard: Don't tell.

Don't look.

Just by chance, Alex happens to walk by the room where all this is happening. Hearing familiar noises, he looks up, and then stares in suprise. He checks his tricorder and then the scene again and walks over.
I knew Furby needed to be watched. Hi Artsy. Insane, I didn't know you were here... hold on, you're the guy who plays Insane here, right?
He then turns to Skip.
You know, you look really familiar, but I can't place the face right now...

Skip laughs heartily.

"Mr. Sands, what a joker. Hello there, Andy. Nothing's lost, I was just about to talk to Leilani and Neil about the special lighting we're setting up for tomorrow. If you'll excuse us..."

Skip places one inordinately firm hand on Alex's shoulder and begins to guide him to a more deserted section of the set.

Actually, Mr Leilani, there is no such thing as fiction. Only reflections of what is elsewhere.

Skip and Artsy turned a corner and found Adon standing on a wall, showing blatent disreguard for gravity, as well as several other natural laws.

Hello, Artsy. You are either stuck here, or looking for the source of the desturbances. In either case, I might prove useful.

Adon jumped off of the wall, fliped, and landed on his feet on the ground. He held his hand out towards Skip.

My name's Adon. Pleased to meet you.

Hi Adon. Welcome to the party.
I apologize for my behavior, Skip. I guess I should have been more discrete, but you really do look familiar...

In their secret, dismal and dark swamp, a Secret meeting, of the secret Dismal Fate Association is secretly taking place

Dr. Unpleasent: "Welecome. I call this meeting of the Dismal Fate Association to order. We, the greatest villians in the universe, have gathered toghether. The Bizarro Tacoman. the powerful Soceress, Sempter the Tempter, some psycho in a funny hat named Miss Infomation, the unholy Cortirex, the Preach'n Zombie, the evil OA head, Azrael-Chan, Majin "Fat" Buu, Dolphin Darwin, Mr. non lethal Raygun, Miss Infomation and Mothman. Our first order of business, we have a new member to admit. William the Bloody, now known as Spike. Without objection?

Soceress: I Object.

Dr. Chaotica: Anyone else?

All: No!

Spike: Thanks you, •••••• bint!

Preachi'n Zombie: And the Lord spoke to his prophet, "And ye shall defeat the LICC, or suffer the ravages of Hell!"

Dr. Unplesent: Yes, yes, several of us have a plan. Silence, as Bizarro and Sempter explain.

Sempter: Having control of the seven deadly sins, I shall incite uncontrolable lust in the hearts of the LICC.

Bizarro: Me have ray turns heterosexuals into homosexuals. Me use ray on LICC.

Soceress: Oh No!

Mothman: (Unearthly screams)

Sempter: Exactly, Mothman shall send new teenage sidkicks to the LICC. The LICC won't be able to resist them, and we will send the police the footage. Then LICC will be arrested , and our reign of crime shall begin. Ha ha ha ha ha!

All: Applause!!!

Spike: Hold it, that the bloody worst plan I've ever heard. You are going to get a bunch of minor leauge superheroes to bugger some young sot? Dosen't that strike anyone as ••••••?

Darwin: We shooooould uuse the technooology to coonquer (Dolphin noise) Dolphin City. All whales have sexuaaaality prooblems.

Miss Infomation: I shall issue a "Super riddle", one that shall confuse and mislead the LICC

Mothman: Shreeeeeiik!

Preachi'n Zombie: Alleliua!

Spike: So you are going to tell them our plan? You •••••• berks!

Dr. Chaotica: Go forth with your plan. Next topic, the 1009th Season of Friends...

Azrael-chan: How does that plan end the evil reign of censorship? As leader of the LICCOA, I need that technology, I propose we kill Redshirts in a graphic manner. It will get the RTC to protest and cancel us. They can replace the LICC with Anime, and the Japanese superiors will conquer our culture. Heil Tojo!

Darwin: Thaaat plaan is stuuupidd.

Socereress: Agree. Cortirex, Buu and I shall use the black arts to raise a zombie army for PZ, we shall then send them to gather three relics that will allow us to raise the tempeture of Earth's atmosphere. We will then summon Venuians to our planet, who will destroy the LICC!

Mr. Non Lethal Raygun: I say we use my Freeze Ray!!! It's no better than a ordinary gun, but it still will darn the LICC, and we won't have to throw a punch.

Mothman: SHEEEEEIIIIRRRRKKKKK! SHREEEEEEEEEEIK SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIIIIIIIIK!

Bizzarro Tacoman: Right he is. Us not throw punch because of Censors.

Buu: Buu not like, Buu destroy things!

Dr. Unpleasent: And so you shall, Majin Buu. But next on our agenda, the Bylaws committiee has discovered a unpleasent issue.

All: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The Association discusses the bylaws next week, same Association time, same association channel

Artsy doesn't even hear Adon's greeting; her attention is caught by something behind Andy (well, the guy who looks like Insane).

The macho actor, thinking she's staring at him, grins at her. "So, shall we be off?"

But Artsy ignores him too, as her eyes widen and her color flares into a panicky neon chartruse. Actor Andy frowns, glancing around him and seeing nothing out of the ordinary...until Artsy cries "Look out!" flings herself at him and knocks him to the floor.

Something shimmering whizzes through the spot where Andy had been standing, then shrinks down into nothing and vanishes.

A startlingly hot pink replacing her blue color, Artsy quickly climbs to her feet, brushing off her dress....

What the?
Alex aims his tricorder at the spot where the...thing disappeared and looks at the readings.
What the heck?
Artsy, Adon, look at these readings. What do you make of them?

Yes, dear uncle? No, I don't have any idea about what exactly happens here. I'd say some of the actors had a complete nervous breakdown - they believe they are their characters from the series! Can you imagine this?

Two of them even stole the Furbybot and run away. We chased them but after entering a boxroom they simply vanished! Yes, the room was empty when we forced the door open! No loonies, no Furbybot.

And one of our security guards is missing too!

Something very strange is happening here. It's just like a giant special effect and I know what I'm talking about, uncle.

Adon looks at the tricorder screen.

I'm not sure what to make of that. It was almost like a ripple in the fabric of space. It could be a result of this odd merging of the LICC and this TV show, or it could be something more sinister.

What worries me is that I didn't even notice the thing until it was too late.

Skip, I notice you have a working tricorder. See what you can find, please. Maybe we can compare readings after you do that..

Sorry if I'm slow, but... what the **** is going on? (puts arm around Artsy involuntarily)

You don't happen to have a Neuraliser, do you Skip?

"Familiar, eh? Well, we might have met before. They call me Observer." Skip replies while furiously poking at his squealing and flashing sensor. "This really is a malicious little dimensional event. And it looks like it will only get worse until we close it. I can't tell if the focus is on this side or the other, though."

He freezes when Alex asks him about the Neuralizer, then looks up in surprise.

"How did you know about that? Never mind. This will be just as good."

Skip marches up to Andy and flicks him on the forehead with thumb and forefinger. Without waiting for a reaction, he turns back toward Adon and Alex.

"A few ground rules, fellas. No supernatural showing-off. No admitting or hinting that you're anyone but who you look like. Extreme discretion while you're on this side. Now let's find a rift and get you back."

Is it the year 3002 in this dimension? I wonder, because on our ship, we have someone who calls himself Observer. And, you look like a younger version of him. Am I right, Artsy?
Alex makes a quick scan of Skip and checks the results. His eyes widen in suprise.
Well, well. Artsy, take a look at this...

As our heroes are about to find out, not only are they in the wrong dimension, but they are in the wrong year!

This is the year 2002, and it's the same dimension in which the LICC participated in the Rose Parade. Of course, none of that crew are here.

(Back on the bridge, the carpet covering the deck near the starboard replicator begins to bulge rather oddly. It looks like something is trying to come up through it, without much success. Finally the carpet tears in two and a hatch below it opens fully, revealing a frustrated Observer, who climbs up.)

"Wonderful design. Captain, glad you're here. This emergency Jeffries tube seems to be the only way to access the bridge, outside of the transporters."

(He closes the hatch, drops the torn patch of carpet over it, and proceeds to an empty Engineering console.)

"I've been in Dimensional Cartography for the last hour, and Lieutenant Zell and I just might have pinned down the nature of this event. It'll take a few more tests."

(He calls up a DimCart shell onto the console.)

Artsy shrugs Andy's arm away, throwing a slightly panicky look at Skip before rubbing her eyes and calming down somewhat. Not Observer, Skip, she reminds herself....only to hear his comment and have the tricorder full of readings thrust in her face by Alex....

This was just getting too weird. Andy inched forward and slid his arm over her shoulder again and this time she lets it stay there.

The group is approached by a small creature wearing a space chimp costume.

Hello folks! Ook ook ook!

He scratches himself.

It seems too many people out there are too much interested in talking to you. I think you should go to a quieter place while I create a little diversion.

Oh, I've uploaded a few scans on your tricorder, Alex.

He runs away again.

All I wonder is how I'm being portrayed in this TV series. I hope they haven't changed me too much in the interest of dramatic effect.

"What? Another..."

Skip looks perplexed, and tries to get a glimpse of the tricorder's display screen.

Suddenly, another worker runs up to the group. He looks very excited, and a little nervous.
Andy! Skip! Leilani! Everyone! You hafta see what's on the T.V. right now! Breaking news! Come on!
Skip and Artsy look at each other before shrugging and following. Everyone follows the crewmember off of the set and through a hallway before entering another room. There, more than a dozen people are huddled around of T.V. with awed and frightened looks on their faces. On the television, "BREAKING NEWS" appears in bold red letters on the bottom of the screen. The news anchor is speaking as footage of a man flying is shown.
Calvin Germund filmed this footage with his camcorder. We believe it to be authentic. As you can see, it appears that this person is actually flying away from the downtown police station. Greg Hollins in newschopper 6 has confirmed that there does appear to be a sizable hole in the roof of the station where an individual could have floated out from. Several witnesses have called in to report sightings of this apparent flying man. The Los Diablos police have not commented on but have announced that they will hold a conference...
Alex turns away and, unseen by the crewmembers, pulls out a tricorder and transmits the report to the Spidership.

Oops... I guess I will be on their version of Unsolved Mysteries.

I always knew it! Superman lives!

Skip sits heavily in a nearby chair, rubbing his forehead.

****! I'm not having any real superhero taking all the thunder from this show!

(A nervous stagehand points out "Maybe this will start a new 'superhero craze' and make LICC even more popular!")

Yes, of course! This is perfect!

Alex looks at Skip
Sometimes it seems like the wrong day to get out of bed, doesn't it?
Of course, working on a LICC entertainment program, you should know that the LICC is really good at chaos and destruction...
By the way, you never mentioned what year it is around here... and how did the LICC become an entertainment program?

Skip stops rubbing his forehead and directs a rueful smile at Alex.

"Sometimes, sometimes. Maybe I should know how the LICC operates, but until this morning I was rather blissfully ignorant that the LICC really existed. It's just a goofy TV show."

He laughs, gets up and heads toward the crowd around the TV.

"Well, it's 2002, and I assume some crazy writers dreamed this whole thing up. Either that or another dimensional incursion, which I doubt."

In our dimension, it's the year 3002, and we have an Observer of our own. My tricorder shows a slight likeness between the two of you...
You mentioned earlier that there was something strange going on in another building, right?
Do you think we should compare notes to see how closely LICC: The Series resembles the real LICC? For instance, I saw the actress who plays Butrfli, but in our dimension, she and Jackson Dupree are off on their honeymoon... unless... does Neil Sands portray Jackson Dupree, too?

(Observer swivels in his seat to face Bridge Center.)

"Good news, Captain, I think I can stabilize one of these rifts. That will allow us to get our crewmates back from the other side, as well as giving us a chance to find the focus of this event. Request permission to proceed."

Meanwhile the "space chimp" is chased by the guards and the FX guy. Suddenly the creature stops, turns around and starts to sing "Strangers in the Niiiiiiiiight". Three seconds later he is already far away from his suddenly very dizzy and confused pursuers. They can barely see him entering an empty office room.

Haha, we got him! This room hasn't even a window. He cannot escape now! Get me a dozen Aspirine now, I have a terrible headache...

The group enters the room very carefully. To their surprise there is no sign of the "chimp".

Outside the room an air-condition shaft is opened, the Furby swings out and fires a minor death ray at the door lock.

Zzzap! Closed for maintenance!

In the room a guard notices something of interest. It's the chimp costume. But it is not empty and soon the FX guy hears and smells something familiar.

Tear gas! #%&$³§ ?+¾µ@!!!!! Get outta here! *sneeze* Open the door! *cough* Now! Help!

Because nearly everybody else watches the breaking news his calls are met with no response. Bad luck.

That should keep them occupied and incapacitated for a few hours. Hehe, I just hope nobody from the Spidership accidentally lands there.

Rikard sighs as he watches the replay of the telecast on the viewscreen.
I can not believe that this has happened. Actually, I guess that I can. Does that guy ever try to go incognito? I believe that we should have a little talk with Commander Adon.

As for your plan Observer, go ahead. We have to learn as much about this as we can.

"Aye, sir."

(Observer steps over to an unused science console. He presses a switch on the underside that causes the whole console to retract into the wall, clearing an empty space on that side of the bridge.)

"All right, I'll create a small rift here. Any signs of instability and I'll shut it down right away."

(After several minutes entering commands at the DimCart console, a small glowing ball begins to form in the newly cleared area...)

Wait... do you have a real Lieutenant Insane in this dimension of yours?

Alex looks over at Skip
Should I tell him or not?

Skip shrugs fatalistically.

"Won't make much of a difference, I guess. There's a lot of deviation to clean up as it is. I might suggest we start heading home, though. Your home, that is."

It appears to be working.

I wonder if we have any large scale neuralizers onboard, or if we do, if we can even get to them. Maybe the quatermaster would know. Observer? Do you know if we have any?

Alex is just about to answer Andy's question when his tricorder beeps.
Look over there...
Alex points to a nearby set, where a odd golden ball rotates in empty space
The tricorder identifies it as a rift in time and space... the same time that keeps bringing us here. I'm going to go through and investigate.
{Alex steps towards the rift and enters it. After a second of disorentation, he finds himself on the bridge of the Spidership and looks back at the rift.}
How long will that thing last? Artsy, Furby, the actor who portays Insane, and possibly another Observer are on the other side.

This I gotta see!

Hold on, let me go check if it's alright.
Alex steps back through the rift, and is immediatly peppered with questions from the others.
Yes, it does lead to the Spidership, I mentioned who all was over here, and Insane wants to meet his counterpart.

Artsy frowns. "Is that such a good idea?"

Andy tightens his arm around her and narrows his eyes. "It might be very...educational."

Artsy shrugs off his arm again, recovering enough at teh news of breaking through to the Spidership to be annoyed at his attitude. "Well, if you went through, Alex, Ishould be able to. See you all later." She frowns for a moment, looking at Skip.

Then, quickly, acting on a sudden decision, Artsy steps towards Skip, leans in and kisses him very lightly.

In another moment she has turned and darted into the rift....

Alex looks at Andy
Well, you wouldn't be the first dimensional counterpart we've had aboard the ship...
Alex and Andy are just about to enter the rift, when Furby enters the doorway.
Hi, Furb. well, we found a stable rift and we're sending people through it. I think you may have provided enough distraction for the time being...

(Artsy arrives on the bridge of the Spidership)

So, this guy who plays me... what's he like? Or, wait, maybe I should go in and see for myself!

Moments later, Alex and Andy step out of the rift, followed by Furby.
Insane, meet your counterpart of that dimension. Andy, this is the real Peter Insane.
Alex looks over at the rift.
I wonder if Skip is going to join us...
By the way, Furby and I have lots of information about that dimension, but no clues on how to get things back to relative normal...

Probability of 1 to 1. We have normality. Anything you can't deal with is your problem.

(Observer's concentration on his buzzing console is broken with the return of the missing crewmembers, as well as the Insane lookalike. He grins.)

"It worked!"

(He leaves his console to greet the arrivals, and shares a brief embrace with Artsy, just as a slightly poleaxed-looking black-haired young man emerges from the rift. Skip at first is looking around the bridge with great interest.)

"What technology! I've never been this far in the future bef-..."

(He trails off, just as he catches sight of Artsy and the brown-cloaked man beside her.)

"I...wha? It's true?"

(Observer looks almost as surprised.)

(Insane and Andy look each other over, at a loss for words. Andy gapes at his surroundings for a while, before noticing everyone's looking at him, and resuming his macho demeanor.)

PI: Well, I must say the look-alike casting business must be something great in your dimension. You look just like me... except for the hair.

AM: Look-alike casting business? I'll have you know I was given the part because of my acting ability, my on-set patience and, most of all, my striking good looks.

PI: I'll take that as a compliment. But surely you must have been given the part because you look like me.

AM: No-one ever said anything about having to look like you. No-one ever said there was a 'you' who I was supposed to look like. Last I heard you were a fictional character.

PI: You know, if you changed the way you did your hair, you'd look exactly like me.

Rikard looks around at the newly returned crew and their visitors, shaking his head.
This is not a good idea...

Lopez nods, having been sitting in a small extra chair near the pseudo-science station the whole time just waiting for things to go back to normal. He'd definately prefer a three-to-one against old-fashioned dogfight to all this pan-dimensional nonsense. "This has fiasco written all over it."

Alex looks over at the Observers
I thought my tricorder readings were right.. I thought you might been related, or could indeed be, our Observer...
Say, if this contact goes well, maybe we can have the other actors and their corresponding LICC crew meet... if nothing else, give the actors tips on how to play the role...

Artsy frowned at Alex. "I'm not sure I want to meet this 'Leilani Paige'." She glanced ruefully from Skip to Observer. Bad enough that there's two of you, she thought at Observer, and was relieved to hear Seeker's background chuckle as her mind piggybacked on his abilities.

Well, we should not forget to restore Colanator. I don't think this rather embarassing (for me) body is adequate for him.

Say Colanator, what exactly were you doing when it happened?

Alex looks over at the bouncing, somewhat complaining Colanator-posessed Furbybot
You've got that right, Furby. We'll find a way to get him out of the 'bot.
How you doing, Colanator?

Hmmm... I wonder how my counterpart is.

The other Observer replys:
"I wonder how he is doing too. He has this habit of disappearing for awhile, and then reappearing with a flimsy excuse as to why he was gone."

Adon looked supprised.

Oh, sorry I asked.

(Skip and Observer both grin at Artsy's mental comment. The older man looks back at his console with a bit of concern.)

"I think the captain's right. Best we just shut down the rifts as soon as we can."

(Seemingly not listening, Skip stares at his much older counterpart.)

"Wow...how did you get those horrible scars all over your face?"

(Artsy looks at Observer with a measure of confusion. Except for a bit of stubble, his face is smooth and unmarked. Observer shrugs.)

"It's a long story."

(Skip looks apphrehensive.)

"Not a very good one, I'll bet."

"Not particularly."

(The younger Observer nods solemnly, his demeanor becoming almost as stern as his older self's. Then he glances toward the conferring Andy and Insane.)

"Let's get the rift closed, I have enough to do without any more incursions."

Good thinking Skip. Does your Earth have and MIB agency or equivalent agency that can erase memories en masse? We may not want everyone remembering what they saw.

Then again, I guess we could just travel back and beam him out before he flies away. But that might complicate things even more...

I could just open a portal to there and let him go through. Once he's clear, I close the portal and that's that.

Colanator bounces around the bridge a bit spastically.

I was processing. I'm fine. Can I get out of this thing?

PI: That means you get back where you came from!

AM: You kidding? I just got here!

AM: So, in the Cosmic Champion line, are you guys just as popular as we actors are?

PI: Well, it's lot of fun, I'll give you that. And... we save the universe often. oh, yeah, we've got our own fan club. I remember one time last year we switched bodies with them! That was fun. But it can be kind of scary too. Hey, you should know, you act as me all the time!

AM: I suggest things to the writers as well. That Donna thing was my idea!

PI: What do you mean, writers? What do you mean, your idea?

AM: My dimension controls yours. Whatever is written and acted out in our dimesnion happens in yours. We call the shots, you follow.

Hahaha, Andy. Somewhere out there is somebody or something who or which is writing you! Trust me, I know what I'm babbling about.

Btw, while I was in your dimension I made a few little changes to your scpipts. (Btw, somebody should proof-read your credits.) I'm sure head writer Kief Elim Morgan will win the Ammy this year. Mwuahahaha!!!

Alex sits back and watches the conversation
Now this is really philosophical... Perhaps we are affected by the show, or maybe the show gets their ideas from us somehow...
Or, maybe, there's something bigger than all of us. Did we ever find out who replaced us when we were in the 20th century that one time?
Alex stands up and looks over the Furbybot
Well, there's a port to connect this thing to a computer... maybe we can get you back in the Spidership's computer that way, Colanator...

Perhaps... somewhere... far beyond all those distant stars... Benny Russell is dreaming about us.

(picks up Furby and examines him to see how he works)

What do you mean, changes? What kind of changes?

(he then turns to PD Insane)

Tomorrow we're filming several scenes for the next episode. If I'm not there, that means you disappear!

So you're saying you want to go back, or you want me to disappear?

(thinks for a bit, then gets a mind-boggled expression on his face)

But if everything which happens here is controlled by the filming in your dimension, that means... this must be being filmed by K-NIT studios. Which means they must have two actors who look like us over there, one to play me and one to play you! Where did they get them?

Zaps Andy.

Sorry, just a minor intentional malfunction. Nice new hairdo you have now btw. Har har har.

Changes make life and story interesting and the ratings high. Hehehe.

He continues to mumble something about the Bunny colony on Hef 69 and grins.

"Don't worry about neuralizers, I can take care of all that. I guess you won't have a new story to tell at the bar tonight, Andy."

I wouldn't worry about myself, they're probably using CGI. I do worry that the ratings are falling off on our universe. More crazy funness is in order. Perhaps I should possess Insane or someone.

Yeah, good idea. Start working on that, Cola. We could use a little more crazy weirdness rather than just weirdness. We need some zaniness.

Meanwhile, back in LICC's own dimension, a strange being paces back and forth deep in his lair. He cannot be seen clearly, because the lair is dimly lit, but he has orangish-yellow eyes, and appears to be wearing a robe of some kind....

So, those fools have somehow managed to travel to another dimension! No matter, for upon their return to THIS dimension, they shall fall before the might of my forces! The spidership WILL BE MINE!

He looks at two guards standing on opposite sides of the doorway into the room. They are dressed in yellow and orange armor, which kind of resembles 20th century Police riot gear.

You two! Don't just stand there like blithering idiots! Prepare the Omni-Bolt Cannon!

Guard #1: Yes, sir!

Guard #2: Immediately, sir!

Both salute, then leave the room in haste.

Soon the League of Intergalactic Cosmic Goofballs will meet there demise at the hands of....

Da Big Ch'eez'e!!

He begins to laugh maniacally, and can be fully seen now. He appears to be a humanoid made of living cheese, roughly seven and a half feet tall!

Meanwhile, in the lair of Da Big Ch'eez'e, several inteligent mice are watching his every move with hunger in their eyes...

In another sector of the galaxy, two ships dart through the ring system of a gas giant. Both are small, and one is indeniably in pursuit of the other.

"Give yourself up, there is nowhere to hide!"

But the pursued continues to evade the pursuer, darting into and behind small planetoids, asteroids, and other inidentifiable pieces of space rock. The escaping ship slips into a more dense area of rocks, but the chaser still keeps up its pursuit. The being inside launches a torpedo at one of the largest of the rocks, and it explodes into many pieces. They all bounce against the other rocks, with nothing to stop them flying around the place until they hit something, which only causes them to fly off in a different direction. The being inside the fleeing ship finds it hard to navigate through this chaotic storm. One bit of rock impacts the engines! The other ship keeps a safe distance, the being inside waiting and watching. He sees his chance, and takes his ship nearer the escaping craft. It isn't long before the chasing ship has caught the other in grapplers, and is pulling it along. The being inside hails the other unfortunate being.

"You really hard to do it the hard way, didn't you?"

"Well, I guess I have been putting off the inevitable. You started this as much as we did, you know."

"I did not!"

"Well, maybe not you personally, but all of you. That girl gave us some very valuable information about you and your crowd."

"What girl?"

"A human girl. She said she had spent a lot of time around your group and had found out a whole lot of facts about you."

"Oh, really? Well, as a matter of fact, a human girl told us a lot of facts about your group, and she was able to back them up with plenty of evidence."

"The one who talked to us had plenty of evidence as well! That's why we let her go! She said she escaped from one of your prison ships. We took her to be taken to one of our holding cells, and that's when she provided the information. You don't think it was the same one, do you?"

"I don't know, describe her!"

"Well, it was over a year ago, but as I remembered it, she had sort of red hair and wore armor of some kind."

"Well, the one we had captive was the same. She was caught stealing supplies from one of my bases, and we were going to have her executed. Turns out she was trying to equip herself to fight you lot. When we heard this, that's when we got interested.

Oh, yeah, and her name was... Enesku."

"All right, so it's a trans-inverse rift. That'll make closing it a bit harder."

"Not if you start a Plinth unravel and increase the Ino barrier."

"Where did you learn dimensional physics? Sorry, dumb question. All right, start the Plinth, but it won't go anywhere unless we beam in the ultraviolet."

"So you want it to close before you and Andy can get home? Try again."

"All right, Plinth, Ino, but what if we just trickle a bit of Mazag radiation into the focus before we hit it with the ultraviolet? It'll start contracting and remain receptive until we're out, then you can finish it all the way."

"That's it."

Skip leans back in his chair, satisfied. Eventually his gaze is drawn back to Artsy, who is observing Andy and Insane's conversation with interest. Observer notices Skip's preoccupation.

"Quit it." the elder one says, half-jokingly.

Skip isn't exactly in the mood for levity. "Are you saying you and her-?"

Observer doesn't answer. He remains fixated on the flashing readouts of the DimCart console. Skip persists.

"It's against the Rules! You can't have forgotten that.."

Observer shakes his head. "It's not as simple as that."

"But I just don't get it. THEY've letten you get away with it?"

"THEY don't know yet."

Skip fixes his older self with a level gaze. Then he shrugs. "I just don't understand you."

"You will."

Skip smiles then.

AM: You know, what I always wanted to do when I got here was go to the holodeck.

PI: Well, I don't suppose you can cause much trouble there. All you need to do is ask the computer the directions to the nearest one.

AM: Right. (to Artsy, putting on his most charming grin) You coming too?

PI: (rolling eyes) Oh, rother.

That last remark should have read 'Oh, brother.'

Hey, I call my good-universe counterpart, "Rother".

On one of the ship's holodecks, The Masked Enigma tried his hand at wind-surfing. He'd been with La Femme Superbe on the holodecks a few times, but this time she was on duty while he wasn't, so he decided to take the time to try out some holodeck programs on his own. He liked his service with the LICC. Better than other ships he'd been on. He hoped he'd be able to stay, but his name was a bit of a drawback. Why didn't he choose a different one? "The Masked Enigma" might still have bad connotations, but he didn't think anyone now lived who remembered. But in this great big universe, you can never account for anything.

But he couldn't just fake his own death and change his name. No, as long as he could, he'd stay with the LICC. Ironic, when he thought about it. But even if things came to the worst, perhaps he wouldn't have to do what he had done before. All the same, he wouldn't say no to becoming Captain one of these days...

Alex stands next to Rikard's chair watching the action with curiosity.
Observer, if Skip is a younger version of you, you should remember this happening, right?
By the way, Captain, here's the data we got about the other dimension...
Handing the tricorder to Rikard. He then looks at a nearby computer console. Inspired, he plugs the Furbybot into the console and waits. Soon, Colanator's face appears on the screen above the console.
Happy to be out of that thing, Cola?