*squeaky voice* The whole room smells like my eyes!

Observer shakes his head. "I don't remember this happening, or this mission." he says.

Skip sighs. "A brain-wipe. Again. I hate those."

An alarm sounds on the DimCart console.

"The rift's not responding." Observer says.

Colanator makes a few bridge speakers beep a little tune.

Ahh...feels wonderful.

Another ship...

"Enter"

hiss

"Captain, word has got in that someone calling himself The Masked Enigma has joined the L.I.C.C."

"You're sure it's the Masked Enigma?"

"That's just it, Captain. I'm not sure. But I'm not sure it isn't, either."

"I doubt he'd still use that name... all the same, it's too much to ignore. I suggest you go over to their ship, Sandy."

Lopez stands up and straightens his pilot gear. "Well, I'm goign to see if I can beam back to the flight deck. My place is there not up here on the bridge. No offense Mr. Rikard."

What if Skip was doing the same thing on his side of the rift? Would it respond then?

Thank you for the PADD Alex. I'll look over it.
turns to Lopez with a confused look on his face.
Why would I be offended, Lieutenant?

Lopez shrugged. "I don't know."

Artsy has been listening to the discussion between the two Observers, her pale pink amusement occasionally fluctuating into a baffled greyish-orange. Most of the dimensional technobabble went right over her head, but when she absently reached out her mind for Seeker's presence and he responded with a cheerful, YOU HAVE BEEN WHERE? she turned to the LICC Observer.

"Could you use a second opinion on this rift? Seeker may be young, but his instincts are great. Interdimensionality is his normal mode of travel, after all."

Observer nods. "That's a good idea. Can he sense the nature of the rift? It must not be what we thought, since it's not responding to our technique."

Rain pours on a dark, unimportant, Class-M planet. It's night. A man sits in the booth of a tavern in a less than glamorous part of one of the planet's many cities. Holding his drink, he reads a PADD in his hand with recent galactic news on it. He smiles at the news he's reading. The LICC. They've changed. Now would be the time to strike. His targets awaited.

Observer, Skip, what if you made use of your own power? Both you at once, in conjunction with the other things you're doing?
Or... would other forms of magic do any good? We could contact Jackson and Butrfli... and then...well, I don't know...

(Vivica pulls into a spot reserved for guest stars and gets out of her car when she sees a familiar face)

Tony! Hi!

(the blonde actor turns and grins)

Veronica! How are you?

I'm Vivica!*

Oh, sorry. Never could keep the two of you straight. Heck, I used to get me & my brother confused. (laughs)

How is Frank?

Fine. How's Ronnie?

Livid. She helped develop this character, then they decided not to use her. Now that she's on a competing show**, and the ratings have gone up since she joined, they decide to use the character, finally... She's convinced the LICC higher-ups are only using the character as revenge.

(thinking of Evil Executive) Wouldn't put it past some of them.
So what have you been doing?

Oh, I was finishing up a guest spot on That Superhero Show*** when Kief**** asked me if I'd like to play the part.

How was he?

Three sheets to the wind.

Oh, good. He always dictates his best scripts while plastered. Did you know that writer who was killed?

No. Before my time there. (pointing at a tower over the stage) What is that ugly... tower... antennae... thing?

(looking at the structure) Never saw it before. Must be new. (pause) You know Kief once claimed that LICC was real in another dimension and all he did was write down what happened. Maybe it's a better reciever?

(both laugh)

* Vivica's twin sister

** Brannon Braga's Ego Trek: The Next Generation⁴⁷

*** A K-NIT show about a group of super-powered teenagers in the 2970s

**** Kief Elim Morgan, head writer of LICC & That Superhero Show

This just in. Vice-President Absurd is alive and well and back home!

Details are currently sketchy, but the Vice-President had this to say.

(footage of a battered & bruised Mr. Absurd) "It's good to be home. I'm just sorry that it had to be at the sacrifice of R. He was a good man and a gifted psuedoscientist."

(back to Dan) DNA tests indicate that it is indeed the Vice-President and not an imposter. We'll bring you more about this as it comes in.

(Meanwhile in a dimension far outside the reach of Dimensional Cartography)

R: Amazing a dimension filled entirely with water.

Mr. Absurd: Look! It's a blonde fish with glasses!

(Dramatic music plays)

Both Skip and Observer turn to answer simultaneously.

"What powers??" asks Skip, puzzled.

"Not quite, Alex." reasons Observer. "The manipulation of dimensional rifts is much more scientific than it is supernatural, and my powers are basically limited to opening and closing very small, localized rifts. This one appears to be natural in origin, not to mention powerful, so it will take much more effort to close."

As he finished speaking, the ship's chronometer softly rang midnight. Observer flips back the sleeve of his cloak to check his wristwatch.

"Hmm, long night."

Gamma shift, including La Femme Superbe, begins to arrive on the bridge. Observer looks to his younger counterpart. "You hungry?"

"Yeah."

Observer calls over to the other side of the bridge. "Arts, we're going to get something to eat in Zen Forward, would you like to come?"

Artsy takes Observer's arm. "Yes, thanks. I could use something right now. Dimesion hopping is kind of nerve-wracking."

I think we may need you in a little while, she sends to Seeker. Rest up, huh?

REST DO YOU, AND SILENT ONE, the little red ship echoes back to her. UNDERSTAND THIS FRACTURE, DO NOT...THINK MUST, MUCH....

The doors to Zen Forward swish open, admitting the tall, serious and mysteriously cloaked Observer, the radiant and amused Artsy, and the seemingly shorter, loudly-dressed and black-haired Skip. Along with the three comes a bit of conversation begun outside.

"The food here is fantastic." Artsy mentions to the younger observer, whose eyes are immediately drawn to the huge viewports making up the forward bulkhead of the juice bar. As the trio drifts toward the dining area, a long blonde-haired man in loose coarse clothes steps out from the bar and intercepts them.

"Welcome, welcome friends. Ah, the Lady of Light, and the Far Walker, harmonious that you join us." the man says in a calm, melodious voice.

"Hi, Peace." say Observer and Artsy simultaneously.

The man squints a bit myopically at Skip. "And who is this?

Skip looks at the man a bit skeptically. "Um, I'm Skip Larsen--"

The hippie interrupts. "Ah! This must be NEAR Walker! I am Peaceflower Starblood, welcome to Zen Forward."

"Thanks."

"We'd like a table with a view, Peace." says Artsy.

The hippie nods vigorously, almost dislodging his crown of braided goldenrod and daffodils. "Wonderful, right this way."

As Peace leads them toward the viewports, Skip directs a terse whisper at his older self.

"I don't believe him."

Observer smiles. "He's not what you think."

"No one got THAT into the Sixties."

"He's not from Earth."

"Oh."

They sit down, Peaceflower handing out menus. Observer quickly peruses his menu PADD and orders Eggs Benedict. Artsy opts for steamed Mafi with beurre-blanc sauce. Skip looks back up at Peace, who stands by their table with all the grace and cool of an iced Buddha.

"Uh, tuna melt, on rye with American cheese, chips and orange soda, please."

Peaceflower bowes deeply at the waist, collects the PADDs and leaves. Skip shakes his head, grinning ruefully. "Weird."

Artsy laughs.

"He's part of a race called the Grob. We first encountered them in a mirror universe." Observer explains.

Skip nods, unfolding his napkin. "Same dimension you come from, Artsy?"

The artist shakes her head. Peaceflower immediately appears again, this time to deliver the food. Skip looks surprised at the quick service.

"Replicators." Observer informed his younger self.

"Wow. I know how they can be built, but--"

"Haven't you been to the future, Skip?" asked Artsy, lifting a forkful of food.

"No, the furthest in I've ever gotten is...2048, I think. And this is the first time I've ever been out in space, if you don't count the Terminus." Skip tries his sandwich, which is excellent.

"But how old are you, if you don't mind my asking? I know Observer's been all up and down the timeline, from what he tells me."

Skip shrugs. "I'm not entirely sure. With the brain-wipes and whatnot, I could be 50 or so, I guess, but I only really recall about 30 years since I've started the job." He pauses to take another bite. "Why? How old are you, me?" He inquires.

Observer looks up into space for a moment. "Around two thousand...I think."

Skip nearly chokes on his sandwich, and Artsy looks surprised. "Well," he continues, "like you've said, it's nearly impossible to tell precisely. I have been around a long time, and not only on Earth."

Skip looks excited at this. "Wow...other planets, other civilzations, more dimensions, even."

"It hasn't always been fun." remarks Observer.

Artsy leans over and speaks to Skip, sotto voce. "So what did you mean about the scars?" Observer glances at her while drinking his ice water.

Skip looks at his older counterpart, who nods. "Second sight." the younger one explains.

Artsy makes a gesture of incomphrehension.

Skip ponders a minute before replying. "We're trained in a form of mental perception. It's not really linked to telepathy, it's more of an advanced visual thing. It bypasses the purely physical status of a being, and focuses on the...spiritual, I suppose. Not a perfect word for it, but anyway....Observer, my older self, has been injured severely some time in the past, and it shows." he finishes gravely.

Artsy looks back at Observer, who sits there, expression distant. Skip looks penetratingly at the young artist. "You have a few scars, too. Is it related to that Xisytxisxis-type universe you've visited?"

When the trio leave, Alex looks at the Chronometer and the Gamma Shift list under it and nods.
Ok. It looks like I'm in command of this shift.
He walks over to the replicator and says
One mug of Gorvian coffee, cream and sugar, a little honey, and a bit of Fuidian cinnomon.
Seconds later, a mug of said drink appears, Alex removes it, sits in the Command Chair, and watches the rift.
Hopefully, this will be a quiet shift. Maybe Skip and Observer can find a way to separate the dimensions from each other.
Furby, could you please take your animatronic doppleganger back to the K-NIT dimension?

Rikard exits the captain's Ready Room and walks out onto the bridge.
Any progress on closing the rifts?
Everyone gives a negative answer except for one person, Ensign Hart. Rikard walks over to her.
What have you found?
Hart: Well sir, I've been trying to see if there is any way that the Dimensional Drive could help us. As you know, when the Spidership jumps dimensions, it has to open and close a dimensional rift. I believe that it is possible that we could use this technology to solve our current problem. I'm not completely sure how yet, though.
Rikard nods.
Rikard: Good job Ensign. We'll get you some help with this.
He turns to Dupree.
Rikard: Commander Dupree, it appears has come up with an idea with some merit. Get her some help. I'll be in my quarters. Call me if we have any progress.

Aye, Sir.
Ensign Hart, what kind of help will you need?
Commander Dupree to Skip, Observer, and Artsy, report to the bridge. We may have an idea of how to close the rifts.

I'll be right back.

The Furby grabs the bot and carries it to the turbolift. A few minutes later he falls from the ceiling and bounces a few times.

Excuse me, is this the women's ready room? Haha, I've programmed a few new interesting subroutines into his ROM. They are in for a nice surprise!

"Enesku... yes, the name does sound kinda familiar..."

"Human? Female? Good with the spear?"

"Yes, yes, I remember her. I paid her 25 icoberry tortes so she could tile my garage roof, and she never did!"

"So you too have a score to settle?"

"Yes, I must say I do."

"Welcome aboard."

In the K-NIT TV-47 building, a phone rings on the 47th floor.

Hello, EE here. Oh, hi, JB! What? Down how far??? 70%!!!?!!!?!!! I'll get right to the bottom of this!

After some more bootlicking, he hangs up, and calls his secretary.

Mitzi? Get me the writers for that LICC thing! Now!

(staggers red-nosed & pie-eyed into the Evil Executive's office)

*hic* H... hey there, EE *hic*

Heh heh heh *hic*

EE..., sounds like you're laughing. *hic* Ee ee ee ee ee...

(slumps into a chair)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

So is this supposed to be the writer's idea of humor?

Ladies and Gentlemen, dear longtime K-NIT TV-47 viewers, at the end of our exclusive studio tour we are now approaching a real highlight - the complex where our hit sci-fi series LICC™ is produced.

Even the eyes of the Evil K-NIT TV-47 Viewer shine with joyful anticipation.

Our glorious boss, the EE - may he rule this station for the unforseeable future - has arranged a complete backstage tour for you. We'll visit all the famous sets you are familiar with from television and even have a meet&greet with all the actors! Now that's something you certainly can't get at a convention where nearly everybody is dressed as Quantum Man™.

As the tour bus approaches the studio a small explosion shatters a few windows of the LICC studio.

Ah, I see the SFX department is doing again its best. Maybe we get them to show the Furbybot™ to us too!

The TV tourists laugh.

And don't forget to go to the LICC™ Theme Restaurant and the LICC™ Gift Shoppe afterwards! Tacoman™ Moustaches and Butrfli™ Perfume are for sale today!

Morgan, our ratings are dropping like a rock. No, like a lead rock. And unless you fix that, YOU'RE FIRED, and Never Work In This Town Again^OMT!!!!!!

Our focus groups say they want silliness. And lots of it. So you'd better give it to us, OR ELSE!

Hi EE, you wanted to see me?
Looks over at Kief
Don't worry, sir. This isn't like him. He's usually more plastered than this... but somehow, he gets the job done.

Fix the ratings. NOW.

And you don't get to call me EE. You call me "Sir".

Dear Sir,

I'm sorry, this letter should belong in the Phantom Returns board, where the quality of the humor is much better.

Yours etc.


Quentin J. Testicles (Mrs.)

Are there Amazing Quantum Man "Q"s available at the gift shop, too?

On the Spidership
Alex: So Furby, just what sort of new subroutines did you give it?
On the LICC: The Series set, the tour is about to enter the building, when Sue Wong, clad in full Butrfli costume, runs out of the building followed by a rampaging animatronic Furby.
Sue: Somebody help! I was doing a scene with this thing when it suddenly went beserk and tried to kiss me!
With that, she rushes out of view of the tour group. Meanwhile, in the Evil Executive's office...
Johnan: I apologize, Sir. Should I take Morgan with me when I go?
By the way, there's some strange things going on down on the set... Neil Sands thought he was the real Alexander Dupree, then he "talked" to a computer program thinking it was Colanator, then he and another guy took the our Furby bot. Later, Neil returned and left again with our Artsy actress, the guy who plays Insane, and Skip... and then there was the incident of the flying guy who escaped from prison and landed on the set...

Meanwhile, in a pawnshop on Nimzar IIX, in the LICC's universe\dimension\whatever....

The door opens, and three men who appear to be made of cheese walk in. They are all dressed in pinstripe suits and have on sunglasses. One of the men also has on a white fedora with a black hatband, and the other two are holding guns.

Man #1: Awright, Jarros, yer late with da monthly...tribute.

The pawnbroker is a short being with blue skin, roughly four feet tall. He has two large yellow eyes with black irises and four arms.

Pawnbroker (handing over the money): S-s-sorry about that! I....I won't be late again!

Man #1(smiling): I certainly hope so. But let this be a reminder.....

He makes a motion and the other two men blast a display case containing antique vases, destroying them.

Man #1: Next time...those vases will be you!

The 3 goons leave. One of the customers walks over and asks the pawnbroker who they are.

Pawnbroker: They work for Da Big Ch'eez'e. No one knows their names for sure, but they're called.....

The Goudafellas!

I don't know, they don't seem so gouda to me! I cheddar to think of where this story is going to go. It's bad enough when the LICC swiss universes, but this looks like a feta accompli!

Meanwhile the "Goudafellas" are unaware they're being watched.

I've been following these "Goudafellas" for weeks now. Hoping that they'll lead me to their boss. I'm so close I can almost smell him.

Sniffs the air.

Oh, wait. That's me. I need a shower.

Anyway. I've been gone from the LICC for a while now. Once I wrap this case up, I'll be going back to them.

I wonder if they ever miss me?

The person in the cloaked shuttle craft with him speaks.

Would you stop thinking to yourself out loud! And will you please stop eating pizza while walking on the ceiling! Mom will be so ticked that you got the shuttle dirty...AGAIN. Geez!

Still upside down. He turns to face her.

Sorry sis.

"Xisytxisxis-type universe?" Artsy glances at Observer. Her color fades from rosy yellow to a dirty ice-gray. "Does he mean the one we called Mary Worth from?" Nervously, her fingers smooth the white streak that spills back from her right temple.

A minor writer, and by that we mean a writer secretly pretending to be younger than she is so the show can appeal to younger viewers, enters the office.

Sorry I'm late, your Evilshipness, sir.

Bows worshippfully to the Evil Executive after handing him his cup of coffee.

I have good news. Ratings dropped when Daisy Sunrise...

The actress who plays Shadow Senshi

...was convicted of shoplifting. Well, she's passed her parole hearing and will be able to reprise her role soon so that should bring back the young viewers, oh Mighty One.

Bows again.

(mumbling in his sleep)

Zzzz... fabric of reality breeched... zzzzz... the tower... zzz... the rift... zzz ... intermingling... dange...

Huh, what?!? (awakens when Johnan puts his hand on Kief's shoulder)

Oh... oh, don' worry about the ratings, EE. I've gotta great idea for September...

.

Whattya mean it's November? Coulda sworn it was still August.

.

Whattya mean Two thousand and two?

So the LICC & K-NIT universes merge, what's the worst that can happen? Actors with superpowers?

Maybe the storyline would never end?

OH... MY... GOD!!!

Alright, Ladies and Gentlemen! We are now about to enter the LICC studio complex. Please put on your gas masks and protective gloves! You never know what expects you inside...

"I think so, Artsy." Observer says.

"I'm sorry, is this a bad topic?" Skip asks, a bit concerned.

I don't know, it doesn't look so complex to me. It looks rather simple.

Where the h*ll has Andy gotten to? He's supposed to be in the next scene!

The cameraman adjusts something and turns to Lewis. "What's he supposed to do?" he asks.

I think he's supposed to report on a message coming in from somewhere.

The cameraman considers this. "Well, does it really have to be him? Why don't we just get his stand-in to say his line?"

Well, OK, I suppose so. Jerry? The stand-in looks up, recognising his name This could be your big break. You actually get to appear on the show and say a line. Now, over to the communications console.

Jerry walks on-camera and sits at the console, ready to be given his line. Lewis looks at the script and realises he can't find the right place.

"Some problem?" asks the cameraman.

No, just... oh, wait... here it is, INT: BRIDGE. (starts reading it) huh?

"What's the matter?" asks the cameraman. Jerry is already getting impatient.

According to this script, Skip shows up on the show! Alex and Rikard are talking about him. There's also something about a dimensional drive, but I'm sure there wasn't supposed to be any dimension-hopping in this episode.

He looks at the script and sees the name of the writer: Jason Moran. He bolts off the set, leaving the bewildered cameraman, actors and other crew completely, well, bewildered. Just then, the studio tour guide and guests walk onto the set...

Jason Moran looks through the script, then pronounces his judgment: "I didn't write this."

Well, if you didn't, who did? The LICC can't write themselves... can they?

Lewis and Jason both look over the script, to see what they can make of it.

"All right...time to expand my empire. Disney/Capital Cities? Nah! AOL Time Warner? Pfft! Ahh yes! ComNetTechTon! I'd get GenCorp, PlasMont, and that dinky little network, K-NET or something. Hmm, time to plot my hostile takeover...MUHAHAHAHA!"

A small ship, shaped like a beetle, jumps out of warp near the Spidership III. Its sole occupant hails the Spider. As they put him on their screen they get an image of him: He is about 25-30, dark-haired and wearing dark grey overalls with a mission patch indicating a superhero team. He seems fairly unremarkable, and his voice is level.

"Requesting permission to come aboard."

By now, Morgan and Waddel have returned to the set and notice Vinci and Moran looking at the script.
What's wrong with the script this time?
The situation is explained to him
You know, this is strange... when I was in the Evil Executive's office, Morgan here was talking in his sleep. Mumbling something about the breaching of reality and something about a tower and a rift...

Jerry looks at the script, and asks

Why is this thing called a "scpipt", anyway?

Ladies and Gentlemen, here we are at the heart of LICC - the Spidership bridge set! Please don't touch anything! As you may have seen on TV the consoles here are always proud to explode and that's why you have to wear those masks and gloves. Redshirt actors are cheap but we can't risk the life of any K-NIT TV-47 viewer! The ratings is all we have. Hahahahaha!

Oh look, over there is even somebody who looks like Andy Mikkelson (from a far distance). Hey you, where are the real actors? And why are you all looking more confused than usual? Scpipt trouble? Ahhh, once again...

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, that means we have more than enough time to explore the "bridge". Who wants to sit on the captain's chair first? Cameraman, take some pictures!

The Evil K-NIT TV-47 Viewer steps forward.

Please take a seat, sir!

The tourist sits down and is for a short moment blinded by a bright flash of light. When he opens his eyes again everything looks normal. Even the costumed actors are on the bridge now. Very interesting.

On the set the guide starts to panic.

Hey guys, where is he gone? Is this another of your funny effects? Where is the SFX guy? Get him back ASAP!

Everybody looks confused when suddenly an unknown person appears sitting on the captain's chair. The Furby is the first to realise what happened and goes into "bot" mode.

Oh-oh, welcome visitor. *BEEP* Wanna have some autographs? *BEEP* Say "Cheese"! *ZZAP*

Play along all. When I was down there I read that a studio tour was scheduled for today and this guy is probably one of the visitors. Oh, and somebody should look for a way to send him back.

It works. The Evil K-NIT TV-47 Viewer gets some autographed paloroids showing him with the LICC "cast". Btw, he still wears gas mask and gloves - a good reason to stay evil forever!

Sit down exactly here and lift up your skirt! *BEEP* *Ethical Malfunction* *REBOOT* Oh-oh!

Another flash later the Evil K-NIT TV-47 Viewer is gone again.

Strange.

Zap! The missing person is back and looks unharmed. There's no need for panic anymore.

Hahaha, that was a nice surprise, wasn't it? See, our SFX department is really good! What was is - a flashlight and a trapdoor or something else?

The tourists giggle.

Ah, I see you even got some photos already. Nice. Ok, Ladies and Gentlemen, please follow me to the next part of the studio. I'm pretty sure there will be more surprises and autographed paloroids for you all!

He turns to a cameraman.

The next time I want to be informed before about these things! H*ll, I hate surprises!

Alex, who happened to be out of his chair when the viewer appeared and disappeared says
Ok.. what just happened? Does this have anything to do with our rift?
Ensign Hart, report!
You know... they should be able to see the rift from their side... or at least the impressions of the rift...

Adon look both ways, he sensed him, hiding in the darkness. He raised his bow and shot a arrow at F'rikor. F'rkior's lower right arm was blasted off. F'rikor screamed "Not again!" Adon charged him shouting, "now for the other three!" But at that moment, the dark warrior split into two warriors, both with two arms, save the one that was blasted off. Adon had seen this technique in a J'realian before. The Race possessed multible sets of arms, and a few masters of the their martial arts had figured out a double team attack. Between that, their tail, and their heightened sense of sound, they were hard to fight and hard to kill. But no match for Adon's archery, and night seeing skills. F'rkior could barely miss the Arrow's mark to begin with, and Adon knew that two targets would ruin the creatures ability to hear his arrows, and with his next shot, got the duplicate. Adon walked up to F'rkior, and unsheathed his sword, F'rkior screamed, "Please spare me! I will not make that mistake again! I shall serve you well." Adon smiles, speaking "I don't know who you are talking to, but it's not me." Adon puts the sword through his chest. "What a failure, he would not have served the master."

"No, Skip, it's fine." Artsy's grey is replaced by a warm embarrassed pink. "It just didn't happen very long ago. Why did you call it a Xisytxisxis-type universe? I'm no dimensional scholar, but I haven't heard that name before."

Meanwhile, Jadlad and his sister Alison continue to follow the Goudafellas.

Heh, these guys just don't quit. That's the tenth person they've shaken down in the past half hour sis. But if they continue along this interdimensional route, they'll end up at...oh no! That can't be right!

Please let me be wrong.

Jadlad checks the computers' calculations against his own. They're identical.

Are they crazy?

(turning to Johnan)

*hic* I said what?

Thas why I should always have my *hic* secratary around so she can write down good ideas like that. *burp*

Now where is...

(Kief stops as he notices a pair of Bunny Slippers watching from just off the set.)

Oh, man, not a *hic* again.

(he rubs his eyes, and when he opens them again the Bunny Slippers are gone.)

I always carry around a tape recorder to get down my ideas... and for some reason, it was recording when you talked in your sleep...
Johnan pulls out a small recorder and presses the play button. From it, Morgan's voice can be heard saying "Zzzz... fabric of reality breeched... zzzzz... the tower... zzz... the rift... zzz ... intermingling... dange..."
And then you woke up... does any of that ring a bell?

Hey, who rang me?

Not really. *hic*

Although I suppose (takes breath) if the tower is made of the wrong material it might be causing a harmonic vibration with what's causing the rift. *hic*

If the rift is opening a path between our dimensions *hic* then the more stable Neva, uh... Never, um... Nevestuff that makes up their universe *hic* might be combining with the more unstable Sub-reality that makes up our universe. *hic*

(looks past Johnan) Is that a Smoking Jacket standing over there? *burp*

That explanation sounds good to me.

Now about this upsoming script. You write the Spidership scoops deuterium from interstellar space when any dufus knows that you mine deuterium on earthlike planets.

Also this Okudagram of the Periodic Table for the science station is missing Earth, Air, Fire & Water.

Johnan gives Kief a blank stare
I lost you somewhere... what tower are you talking about?
looking to where Kief is pointing
I don't see it, but I do see an odd slash of light that doesn't belong there... Want to investigate?

Not only that, there's no sign of 'Spirit' either!

That... that antennae tower that they recently built over the stage. *hic*

(as he points up at the tower, visible through an open skylight, a LICC redshirt materializes on the tower, loses his balance and falls)

Redshirt: ...aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! SPLAT!

(fortunately the tour group thought it was a planned stunt)

Tour Group: Ohh! Ahh! (flashbulbs flashing)

Eeeeeeeeeew! Yeah, les check out that *hic* light.

The two writers wander over to the rift. Johnan picks up a long stick lying around and pokes it through the rift. On the other side of the rift...
Ensign Hart: Sir, something's coming through the rift! It appears to be...a stick?
Sure enough, a long stick sticks up through the rift, followed by the writers. Johnan and Kief look around in suprise.
Johnan: Ok... where are we?
Alex: First, tell me who you two are...
Johnan: Allow me to introduce ourselves. My name is Johnan Waddel, and my hiccuping friend is Kief Elim Morgan. We're writers for LICC: The series. Now, where are we?
Alex: Believe it or not, you happen to be on the *real* Spidership.
Johnan: Pardon? So it does exist... OK, tell me this... where are Skip and Andy?
Alex: Skip is having a drink with people, and Andy is hanging around with the real Insane.
Johnan turns to Kief and says Well, it looks like your drunken ramblings were right this time...

The occupant continues to wait in his small, beetle-like ship, waiting for someone to grant him his permission to come aboard.

Uh, Sir? there's a small, beetle-like ship requesting permission to come aboard.

Oh really? Excuse me, gentlemen. Duty calls.
Lt. Commander Dupree to the small beetle-like ship. Please identify yourself and your purpose for coming here.

"I'm Lieutenant Tupper of the Department of Superheroes. I was given a mission reassignment to the Spidership by my commander. It's on this PADD."

Ok, Come aboard. I'll contact Commander Rikard. Spidership out.
Lt. Commander Dupree to Commander Rikard, we have a new arrival. He'll be in the shuttlebay.
We also have a few new people from the other side of the rift... a couple of writers from LICC: The Series.

As the channel is closed, Lt Tupper removes his mission patch and pilots his ship into the back of the Spider. The shuttlebay doors open, and he flies in.

Alex turns to one of the blueshirts
What do we know about Lt. Tupper?

A redshirt comes out of the turbolift and sees Johnan & Kief
Oh no! Intruders!

Don't worry, I know to deal with people attacking with point-ed sticks!

Pulls out a batch of rasberries and runs toward Johnan & Kief, slips on a banana peel and gets impaled on the point-ed stick and dies

Writers for LICC? So like you people supposedly control our fate and stuff? If so, then... (grabs Kief by the collar and begins shaking him violently) which one of you bums wrote my boyfriend a transfer to another ship?!? Huh? Huh?

Kief: Wh... who?

Yes, that's right! Which one of you tranferred Who???

(several blue & yellow shirts pull First off Kief and have him rushed down to sickbay)

Ok, now that we're here, there's something weird going on in our dimension...
Johnan explains the changed script.
Alex: Strange, since that's what Rikard and I were discussing earlier...
Johnan, turns to Kief and says Could this have something to do with that tower?

And then another redshirt bumps into the lever and releases the bengal tiger, which eats JAR9.

(Skip, Artsy and Observer hear a sound like a horn. In fact, it is a horn, and it is being used by Enesku. She takes it from her lips and grins at the three of them.)

Hi, Artsy, Observer, Mysterious Stranger. I hollowed out Mary Worth's horn... you know, the one you pulled off, which was really neat, and I've made it into my calling horn.

The blueshirt at the database access console looks up Lt Tupper.

Most likely he is Alexander Tupper, joined the crew of the USS Beetleship DOS-4742 on stardate 06183000. These records seem to be incomplete, I'll see if I can get anything more.

Skip stares at the odd arrival.

"Uh, hi."

Turning back to Artsy he explains, "We just call specific types of universi by the...'stuff' it's made from. Xisytxisxis dimensions are generally known for harboring strange, powerful and generally totally evil beings, while planes made of Nevesytrof, like this one, are much more habitable. Uh oh, he's coming back."

Skip gestures at Peaceflower, who is winding his way through the lounge in their direction.

Rikard is woken by the ringing of his comm's alarm. He opens his eyes and reaches over to activate it.
Rikard.
Alex Dupree's voice emanates from the speaker, telling him of the new arrival.
Thanks Alex. Welcome him onboard. I'll meet him in a few hours. Rikard out.
Minutes later, he's asleep again.

With that, Alex excuses himself to the writers and makes his way to the shuttlebay.
Welcome aboard, Lt. Tupper. I'm Lt. Commander Dupree, in command of the current watch. What can we do for you?

(Johnan, turns to Kief and says) Could this have something to do with that tower?

(then Johnan realizes Kief is not around. Ensign Reedthepostbeforeyours says)

Oh, he was taken down to Sickbay after Ensign First nearly throttled him.

Lt Tupper offers his hand, and they shake.

Pleased to meet you, sir.

He hands him his PADD.

Here you'll find my DOS information and credentials. I've had exprience at security, tactical, conn, and I can fill in on any monitors when needed. See if you can fit me in on any shifts.

Alex looks over the PADD
Looks good to me. I suppose we can fit you on the current shift, and then you could meet Acting Captain Rikard when he arrives for the main shift.
Just to warn you, though... there's some really strange things going on around here. I'll explain the situation on our way to the Bridge.
As their pair make their way to to the Bridge, Alex begins explaining the current situation. Along the way, the bump in to Johnan.
Johnan: I think I'm a bit lost...Where is Sickbay?
Alex: I thought that being a writer for LICC: The Series, you would sort of know...
Johnan: Well, writing for a television show is one thing. Finding oneself on the actual ship looking for Sickbay is another.
Alex: The easiest way is to ask the computer.
Johnan: Thank you.
Alex: No problem.
They go their separate ways.
Alex: now, where was I? Oh yes...
Alex continues to explain

Artsy stares at Enesku as if she's seen a ghost. Then she starts giggling, chokes on her food, and has to be patted on the back by Observer.

Skip finishes his explanation, and Artsy nods, composing herself before turning back to Enesku. "Where'd you come from?"

Just then, Peace walks up...

The Goudafellas walk into a `Wacky Steve's' and order three Pepperoni and Blue Cheese milkshakes, with extra hot sauce!

Poof!

A demon (to be named later) appears in Zen Forward.

Who summoned me? It had better be good, or I'll be really mad.

What do you mean, where'd I come from? I came here to show you my horn.

(the demon appears and says its line)

No-one summoned you. So get back to Heck, whoever you are.

Yes, someone did. Someone blew a demon's-horn horn.

Now, what do you want? I'm getting ticked off!

I was right. They are crazy.

Stifling a giggle, Jadlad's sister speaks.

Look at who's talking bro. You wear blue spandex and fling pizzas at people! Even dad doesn't fling pizzas at people! I mean...

Jadlad interupts his sister as the Goudafellas are leaving.

Okay. Okay. You've made your point sis. Lets go.

"Even dad doesn't fling pizzas at people!"

Alison ignores Jadlad mocking her and they then follow the Goudafellas to Dimension Z.

Well, I'm going to stay, since nobody will tell me what they wanted. I'm hungry. It's a good thing that there's all this food here!

He picks up a random redshirt and bites off his head.

Yum! Crunchy on the outside, squishy on the inside!

Hey Demon! You ever considered the name "Murray"? A nice, hideous and EEEEEVILLL name, even though I do say so myself!!!
MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!

Meanwhile, in a corridor on the deck above Zen Forward, Ansh and Tammy are having an argument.

Tammy: oh, come on ansh! all u've done like all week is read that dumb book of ur's!

Ansh: I'm not going into Zen Forward!

Tammy: oh, come on! there's like no reason to let peace spook u!

Ansh: He doesn't, I just don't like him. Anyway, why are you so keen to go there? Scott's not likely to be there is he? Isn't this his shift?

Tammy: yeah, but those guys from the k-nit place'll b there!

Ansh groans but Tammy manages to drag her into the turbolift and they head down to Zen Forward. As the turbolift doors open Tammy spots Enesku

Tammy: hey, nesk! hi! who's the young guy? u'r latest boyfriend?

Ansh however notices two things Tammy didn't: the demon and Murray. She quikly activates her lightsaber

Ansh: What's going on?

Cool! A basketskull!

The Demon picks up Murray and dribbles him.

Alex and Lt. Tupper arrive on the bridge.
...so now you know about the current situation.
Ensign Hart, report on the status of the rift.

Stop that! Stop bouncing me up and down like that!

I am not a ball to be toyed with!

Wasn't Murray turned into Skull-Flakes® a while ago?

It looks like he got better.

Grabs her umbrella and whacks Curious K-NIT Viewer over the head with it.

WHACK!

Now shut up that big mouth of yours for a while! I'm trying to watch the show!

Don't you guys know anything?

In part XXVIII of Phantom Returns, the EEEEEVILLL skull-flakes (formerly an EEEEEVILLL jigsaw puzzle, formerly Murray the hideous demonic skull of EEEEEVILLL) were eaten by Soylent Green, who mistook them for a bowl of cereal, then the flakes, while being digested in his stomach, plotted to take over Green's own skull. Only a skilled bit of brain surgery (i.e. a head transplant) saved Green's life, only for Murray, the hideous demonic former skull of Soylent Green of EEEEEVILLL, to conjure up his own army and begin the very brief First EEEEEVILLL War, which quickly turned sour following the needless amounts of portal openings by the bored characters of LICC who were at the time fed up with their own plotlines that they would rather trash someone else's. Then some IDIOT mucked about with the portals and almost caused a disaster by linking the Phantom Returns dimension with the dreaded EIOO Realm. Thankfully, due to a bit of fortuitious idol worship (and, dare I say, Murray) the war ended, and yours truly had to spend the last millennia-worth of pretzels trying to clear up the whole crossover and portals mess!!!

Let that be a lesson to you all. Never eat anything that doesn't belong to you - you don't know where it's been.

A 10-foot tall giant ape-thing walks into Zen Forward, grabs Murray, the Portal Policeman & the unnamed demon, walks over to a nearby portal generator, dials up EIOO and shoves Murray in. Then it dials up the Portal Authority and shoves the policeman in. Finally it dials up H, E double hockey sticks (no, not double Ls, actual hockey sticks) and shoves the demon in, along with a note saying, "Think up a name before you come back." Walks over to the table with Observer, Skip & Artsy, puts a note down saying, "The material in the antennae tower over the stage in the K-NIT Dimention." Orders some burgers & fries to go, then dials TFTGAT on the Portal Generator & leaves.

Some giant, hockey player demons look down at the small demon that's been dropped on center ice.

"I wunder whut 'is name is?"

"Fer now, it's 'Puck'."

Whack!

The demon goes skidding down the ice.

Cool!

Poof!

The demon disappears from the hockey rink.

Poof!

He reappears in Zen Forward.

The name is Demon. Matt Demon. Now then, you with the horn, why'd you call me?

(starts hitting Matt Demon with the horn repeatedly)

I... didn't... call... you! Now, away, or taste my spear!

Did you, or did you not, blow that horn you are holding?

I did.

Skip stares at all the various wild goings-on. Observer and Peaceflower simply look nonchalant. The bartender clears his throat a couple times.

Observer smiles. "Food's wonderful, Peace."

"My soul floats in joy, Far Walker. Er, Lt. Naleau asked me to remind you yet again that you had promised to consider her idea concerning the entertainment here in Zen Forward."

Observer chuckles, rubbing his forehead. "Milir doesn't give up, does she?"

"She has been persistent about it."

"Thanks, Peace."

The bartender bows and leaves.

Observer balls his cloth napkin and tosses it beside his plate. "I'll have to give her an answer sooner or later."

Then you called me. What do you want?

reaches over and eats the rest of the redshirt he started on earlier.

Buuuuurrrp! Ahhh...

I did not call you! I blew on the horn to show Artsy and Observer what it sounds like. I was going to call it every time I wanted any help, but if it makes you turn up, I might as well not bother.

Cool!

Don't you know ANYTHING about demons? Blowing on a demon's-horn horn summons a demon.

Unfortunately, this contract I signed with some Evil Executive says I'm not allowed to eat anyone who isn't wearing a red shirt, so I can't eat you.

Reaches over and grabs another nameless redshirt, and starts to rip him apart.

Munch... crunch... Not bad. I may recomend this place to my friends for lunch!

Look, kid. If you don't know what your doing, then don't mess with stuff.

Reaches over and takes the horn from Enesku.

I'll take that. I've got better things to do than answer bogus calls all day.

Poof!

He disappears.

Cool!

Ahhh shaddap, Vain!

Matt Demon needs to learn to use contractions properly.

If you don't know what your doing

Should be

"If you don't know what you're doing..."

Hey, Contraction Squad, keep off our turf!

EE is looking over a piece of paper. It appears to be a contract. He pushes a button on his phone.

Ellen!

Ellen, EE's current secretary appears

Find all shirts that I own that have ANY red in them, and give them too... ummm.... that guy who is in charge of our main competition... What was it? Oh, yeah... "Star Truck". Tell him they're a gift to congratulate him for his recent ratings win.

Ellen: Yes, Mr. Evil Executive, Sir.

She leaves.

Hmmm... this contract calls for my "soul". It's a good thing I don't have one of those!

Horn, Demon's-Horn: A rare magickal item, created by hollowing out the horn of a slain demon. When such a horn is sounded, it summons yet another demon.

This entry brought to you by the ACME Redshirt Company, your source for all your redshirt needs!

Horn, Daemon [n.]. A ripping good aphrodisiac from Demon-class planets.

Hello.

I'm a new actor who'll be joining the show after this current storyline ends. Any idea when that'll be?

A secretary gives him the schedule

Three or four years???

I'd better get back to bussing tables then.

This sort of thing happens often to you, does it?

Pretty much. The Spidership does have a reputation of being a bit strange, but we like it. Demon attacks... stange events...rampaging Furbies... all part of the job.

Bah! Managed at last to escape the vile clutches of that so-called Demon! (But not as vile as me! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!)

Suddenly a mad ten-foot-tall giant ape thing lunges at Murray from out of nowhere and both are knocked into a mysteriously opened flaming portal leading into the dreaded EIOO Dimension!

AM: Right, so does this holodeck thingy have any cheat codes or easter eggs?

PI: No. At least, not as far as I know.

AM: I need to ask someone. Or, wait, if you were going to come up with a cheat code for a holodeck program, what would it be?

PI: Shouldn't we be getting up to the bridge by now? I'm sure they'll have found out a way to close the portal by now and when they do that you need to be through there.

AM: So how do you create holodeck programs anyway? Do you have to be an expert programmer, or do you just tell the computer what holograms you want it to create?

I've got that Portal closed now, thank you very much. We don't need their sort in here anymore.

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, after visiting the bridge set which is something like the "brain" of our Spidership we'll now enter its "heart" - the really large engineering set! Hold your breath - it's spectacular!

The tour guide gives a signal to two stagehands to open the big doors.

Shhhhhh. Haha!

Yes, it's really spectacular. And more importantly, it doesn't look like plywood and old paint. The multi-level warp core is humming and pulsating, yellowshirts are working everywhere, sparks are flying, computer screens are flickering, it smells of ozone and oil.

Wow, you almost believe it's real, don't you? You can take some pictures now, but don't disturb the extras here. They are all practicing for the next episode's taping tomorrow.

Minutes later the tourists leave for the next excursion station. The yellowshirts are still somewhat puzzled about what happened.

I hate dimensional rifts. - Me2. - AOL me.

How is the portal chaos? Some tourist just wanted to snap a few nudes pics of the Teletubbies! That's evil!

Since when do Teletubbies wear any clothes?

You don't have any idea about how bad the world is today.

This is getting even worse. Not only is Insane needed for this scene, but Andy's supposed to show up as well. Look here.

Jason Moran looks over at the page reading INT: HOLODECK.

"No, that can't be right."

They continue to look through the script.

There's supposed to be some sort of portal on the bridge which leads to the real Spidership.

"Who comes up with this stuff?"

Don't ask me. You're the one who's supposed to have written it.

"I'll see if Kief's sobered up enough to get some sense out."

They wander over to the empty bridge set.

Well, if we're going to film this script, we ought to get Andy and Jerry onto the holodeck.

"I'll see if I can find them anywhere."

As Jason turns to leave, Lewis sits down on the Captain's chair, and vansihes. Jason involuntarily turns round, and sees that Lewis is nowhere to be seen.

Meanwhile, on the bridge of the Spidership, Lewis Vinci appears.

Yellowshirt: What happened to you?

Sigh! I sent all my spare uniforms to the ship's laundry and they came back colored red. I couldn't wear my dirty uniform and I didn't want to become a redshirt...

Yellowshirt: So that's why you spraypainted your body blue.

Hey! I'm wearing underwear under the paint!

I never wanted to be a redshirt either.

I always wanted to be..... A LUMBERJACK!

tears off his red shirt to reveal a red-checked shirt... only for a falling tree to slice him in half down the middle

Hi-diddly-ho, fellow crewmemberinnos.

By now, Johnan has reached Sickbay, where Kief has been treated. Together, they make their way to the Bridge, if nothing else, to try and find a way home. When the turbolift opens, they find Lewis Vinci sitting in the Captain's chair, looking a bit startled.
Johnan: Hello, Lewis! Welcome to the Spidership, the real one.
Sighing, Alex activates the comm system. In Zen Forward, his voice drifts across the table of Observer, Skip, and Artsy as he says
Dupree to The Observer and Skip, we really, really need you on the Bridge. People from the other dimension keep drifing over here. Plus, Ensign Hart said she had an idea which you should look over.

Hello, boys!

Artsy frowns at Observer. "What's this about Lt. Naleau's 'entertainment idea'? You haven't mentioned it before."

Before he can reply, Alex's call comes over the loudspeaker...

(Kief, still a little dazed from the anasthesia, stumbled through a portal on the Bridge & found himself on the Bridge set. He then made his way to his office. When he got there he was feeling much better, thanks to the Doctor.

When Kief had been brought to Sickbay the Doctor was amazed he was still alive. Not that Ensign First had harmed him, but all those years of drinking had taken their toll. The Doctor had replaced all his blood & liver and performed other surgery designed to help him survive.

Anyway, Kief was feeling so good, he decided to take a vacation and in few hours was in the Bahamas, relaxing on the beach.)

Ahhhh, this feels good.

Hmmm, I can't help, but feel there is something I've forgotten.

Oh, well, if it's important they can always contact me.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz...

Giant Ape-Things, Ten-foot-tall:

Native to Taurus II, these friendly anthropoids greet all travelers with samples of their local artisanship. Indeed, they are so friendly, they don't wish for you to leave, often going so far as to physically hold your shuttlecraft down. When you go out to greet them, you...

Hey, what's that! No, get away!! Stay away, you ape-thing! NOoooo--urghk;l;l;lkj;lkj;lkj;lk

As is his wont, Grant Lopez is on the Flight Deck, watching the pilots repair their own fighters, and wodnering exactly what it was Kiehart had done to annoy the ship engineers so much that NONE of Colantor's people would do even the easiest of jobs in this part of the ship. The most annoying was how the lights in the restrooms turned themsleves off every night at 1715 hours. His new second-in-command, Brad Plevyak also watched. "Poor Hornet Squad. They really don't have much to do except fix stuff." he says. Lopez smiles. "Well, they fell lost without Rikard in the #1 ship. I've suggested he either spend more time with the squad or just let them go autonomous. That's what the Boss did with us. He always arranged it so that we could easily fly without him." "Yeah. He was a great squad commander that's for sure." Lopez decides to spend the rest of his free time beofre his shift ends reading the Universe Today tachyon-news archives, catching up on events in the galaxy he'd missed while this whole mess with the K-NIT actors was going on. While reading, he noticed something strange. In all the article that had been uploaded in the past hours, certain letters throughout various articles, editorials, and reviews were of a different font than the others. "Hey Brad, does your Universe Today upload look funny?" Plevyak looks over his copy of the 'newspaper' on his padd, and shakes his head. Lopez takes his copy and leaves the flight deck. He goes to his quarters, and replicates a sheet of paper and a pencil. He begins writing down, in order, all the altered letters. He gasps when he realizes where the letter came from, but decides to wait until he's finished before reading the whole thing.

Lackey: Vice-President Absurd. It's great to see you up an about, but shouldn't you still be resting?

Tut tut and pish posh. I've been away from the office for far too long as it is. I should probably have mountain climbing gear to deal with everything that happened while I was gone.

Lackey: Y... yes sir.

(They enter the Vice-President's office, the veep vaults the desk and lands in his chair and spins it around a few times)

Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!

(He stops the chair and faces the lackey)

Was there anything else?

Lackey: N... no sir.

Then close the door on your way out. Unless it's an emergency i don't want to be disturbed until it's time for the Digimorphing Transrangers.

Lackey: Y.. yes sir.

(The door closes and the Vice-President spins in his chair and laughs)

Muhahahahahahahaha!!!

(a leather clad woman seems to melt from out of the shadows of the office. she has mouse-brown hair, a whip curled on her hip and a cigarette stuck in a long cigarette holder.)

Good thing these walls are soundproof or that laugh might have given you away, Mr. Absurdity.

Now now, is that any way to greet the second-in-command of the world, Hamburger Patricia?

If I ever meet him I'll ask. (she smiled and sat down) Any problems so far?

Well, some people are not thrilled with 'my' return. The Speaker of the House was getting quite comfortable in 'my' chair. Other than that, they all seem to accept me. Of course, I have yet to meet my counterpart's brother yet.

I don't think that'll be a problem. (with a glance she activated the desk computer and brought up an encoded file) As you can see he decided to leave this dimension after the cancellation of his show.

Oh, good! My brother's counterparts can be such nasty people. Demon-possesed soul-eaters, mad wizards, psychotic cyborgs, neanderthalic thugs...

Well, apparently Mr. Obvious was possesed for a short time, but it was exorcised.
BTW my researches indicate that Mr. Absurd may not have been playing crazy.

Hmmmm... interesting.
Anyway what about the plan?

No reason why we can't use the resources of this dimension to accomplish that. There are some political opponents that will have to be dealt with, though.

Well, then Patricia. I guess someone will have to 'change their minds'. Muhahahahahahahaha!!!

Lopez shakes his head in amazement as he reads the note.

GRANT,

TERRSEC PLANT IN HORNET SQUAD. DON'T KNOW WHO YET. HAVE PLAN. ENTER SQAUD IN FIGHTER PILOT OLYMPICS OVER JUPITER. DEADLINE NEXT TUESDAY. TELL RIKARD TO DECLINE, FILL IN FOR HIM. TELL ONLY HIM AND MILKSHAKE. SHOW BOTH THIS LETTER. MEET ME OUTSIDE FIGHT OLYPMICS HQ ON GANYMEDE DAY AFTER TUESDAY. WILL GIVE FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS. LET'S GET THIS TRAITOR.

JK

Lopez grabs the padd and the piece of paper and immediately heads for the bridge. He wonders why Mr. Kiehart didn't know that Captain Milkshake has taken a sabbatical, but he only thinks about it for the amount of time it takes him to get to Acting Captain Rikard's ready room.

Rikard is sleeping when a voice wakes him. It is somewhat familiar. He opens his eyes to see the man from the Club Ted alley, the man* that had sent him on his Jedi training was in his room. Rikard just laughs.
Oh great, you again. This is the only reason I have sleep scenes. To talk to you.
Man: Josh.
Rikard: John. The man blinks in surprise and confusion.
Man: What?
Rikard: My name's John.
Man: No it isn't.
Rikard: Sure it is. I changed it to avoid confusion with higher powers.
Man: Right. Anyway, I've made contact with you again to-
Rikard: Tell me more about myself. The man nods sheepishly Great. So, what would you like to tell me this time.
Man: Well, do you remember when I told you that you weren't a Jedi, that you belonged to a different order called the Knights? Rikard nods. Well, I lied.
Rikard: What?
Man: I made the Knights up. The fact is, we don't know what you are.
Rikard: We? Who's we?
Man: It's not important. The fact is that you are becoming something but we do not know what. We believe that you will soon begin to develop several different abilities.
Rikard: So, I'm not a Jedi?
Man: Only partially. You use the Force for some things, but for the rest, it was you.
Rikard: What kind of abilities?
Man: We don't know exactly.
Rikard: What? Why should I believe anything you say? Apparently, you've lied to me before.
Man: Yes, and for that I apologize. Just trust me. You have the potential to do great things. You only need to unleash your power. Forgive me, my time grows short. I bid you farewell Captain Rikard.
Rikard: You know that I'm the acting captain of the Spidership.
Man: John, the entire galaxy knows. Good bye.
Rikard: What's your name? You've never told me.
The man pauses Hentrist Verston. He quickly disappears, leaving Rikard. He opens his eyes again. He is surprised to find that he was asleep during the conversation. He lies in bed trying to fall back asleep but can't and decides to return to the bridge. He enters the bridge and asks for a status report. Alex Tacoman reports that progress is being made. Hearing this news, Rikard heads to the Ready Room. Just as he is about to reach them, they open as Grant Lopez exits. Rikard greets him.
Lieutenant Lopez, do you need something?

*LICC 3 VI, LICC 3 XVIII

XXVIII

Rikard - This is the only reason I have sleep scenes. To talk to you.

Well, that and the fact that it would be boring to watch a guy sleeping.

Maybe next time TPTB can stick a shapely ensign in the bed with him?

(Hamburger Patricia narrows her eyes and stares at a pen in Mr. Absurdity's jacket pocket)
Where did you get that?

Mr. Absurdity: I think the lackey handed it to me. Why?

(Tricia removes it from his pocket & studies it)

Hmmm... if the blocking field wasn't working someone would have had an earful.

Not to mention... (a very sharp needle comes out of the pen) It seems Mr. Absurd had some serious enemies.

I think I'll go find out more about the people behind this.

(Tricia triangulates the recieving station and teleports there. She snaps her whip and wraps up the listener who stiffens as he loses control of his muscles.)

Come! Kneel!

(the listener does as he's commanded. Tricia takes a puff on her cigarette and blows what appears to be smoke into his face)

(pleasently) Hello there. I want you to tell me everything you know about who is behind this set-up.