In which we learn the meaning of the word 'bittersweet'.

The holodeck. Shortly after Masked Enigma's memorial service. The mourners are all in small groups, speaking quietly amongst themselves. For the first time in a while we see Milkshake without his helmet, clad in a Marine dress uniform. The lines seem to be etched a little bit deeper in his face these days...or that could just be because of the sad setting. A young lieutenant, in the blue of sciences, enters the holodeck and approaches the Captain.

They speak quietly for a minute, and then Milkshake's voice raises just loud enough to be heard over the murmur in the crowd.

So there's no way of getting him out, as far as you can see.

Lieutenant Blumberg shakes his head.

"Captain, it's far beyond the skills of the science team we have here. Black hole physics are still too unknown..."

Milkshake sets his jaw

Look, Don. We've just gotten through a memorial service here. No one wants to go through yet another, not for a good man like him. Take chances, act on hunches. Call in a science ship if you need to, but we are not going to leave Quantum in that hole, do you understand?

Blumberg hesitates a bit...then nods solemnly.

I've been dead before, and I know that many of you risked everything in both this world and the next to come get me back. For Quantum Man, we should do no less.

However, there are forces out there greater than all of us combined, and if they don't want him to come back, then there is nothing we can do about it. We should keep that in mind as well.

Adon paused for a moment.

If I may, I would be willing to try whatever plans you might have to rescue him.

Talking on the phone.

He wants HOW much? Over your dead body! Yeah, YOURS! And it can be arranged, too!

Slams down the phone.

(Eve* stared out the porthole at the black hole. After recovering from her experience in Sickbay she recieved a double shock. First the death of The Masked Enigma. Not that she knew him that well, but she knew him and the death of someone you know is always shocking. Then she was told of the disappearance of Quantum Man. She didn't know him well either, but his disappearance was her fault, and that bothered her more than anything. She looked at the black hole, she could actually see it with her powers, and decided on a course of action. She changed to her shadow form and shifted to the shadow realm.)

If there is any way out of a black hole I'm betting this is it.

(From all around her a voice came)

The Abyss: Eve.

Wha...? (She stopped) The Abyss?** What do you want?

The Abyss: I know what you are attempting, but it will not work.

But I have to try! If it weren't for me...

The Abyss: He chose to risk his life, not you.

But if there is a chance to save him...

The Abyss: His fate is in the hands of another. There is nothing you can do.

Nothing?

The Abyss: Nothing.

Is he alive?

The Abyss: I do not know.

Maybe I should check. (She started to head toward the black hole again)

The Abyss: No. (A force pulled her back)

Can't I at least try!

The Abyss: You have tried. You would not have succeeded.

But I'm responsible!

The Abyss: Did you decide for him what he should do? Did you decide to be split into two beings? Did you decide to get revenge on a petty thief? Did you decide that she should steal?
There are many responsibilities that created the chain of events that happened. The drawing together of the dark matter was not even a conscious choice. You made it instinctively and you warned the others away when you were whole once again. What Quantum Man chose to do he chose to do.

But how do I live with it?

The Abyss: You live by living. He was a brave warrior who chose to risk his life to save others. You have done the same. You died to stop Sailor Good*** and you almost died by taking Enesku's place.

(Shadow Senshi thought about what the Abyss told her)

Can I speak to this other who holds Quantum Man's fate in his hands?

The Abyss: He exists outside this universe. Far beyond your ability to travel. Or mine to send you.

So what do I do?

The Abyss: Mourn the passing of a brave man.

(She found herself back on the Spidermobile, tears in her eyes.)

* her nickname

** Shadow Senshi is a dark knight of the Abyss. The Abyss last appeared on LICC3 XXV

*** LICC3 XIV

(Meanwhile at the Amazing Quantum Man Fan Club, all of it's member recieves the bad news)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Why is it always the good looking ones with the great fashion sense who die young?

(Meanwhile at the Vice-Presidential mansion)

Mr. A: Two LICC members dead?

Tricia: Yes. They tend to die in pairs. Anyway since 'you' knew one of them you'll probably be asked to make a speech. I took the speech he was going to give at a previous service and just crossed out Adon & Tacoman's names and accomplishments and put in his name and accomplishments.

Mr. A: (looks at the speech) Wait a minute, you wrote Amazing Quantum Man instead of Incredible Quantum Woman.

Tricia: That because in this universe he was a man.

Mr. A: Really? Aren't parallel dimensions surprising? Any other reversed sexes here?

Tricia: Just one other.

Mr. A: Who?

Tricia: Robot Redshirt.

As with Adon, I was dead. All of you risked life and limb to rescue us, and I think we can do no less to our fellow crew member. the LICC sticks together, in life and death. If it helps, my ship has lots of interesting devices and gadgets we picked up while dimension traveling. Butrfli and I can convert the ship into a family-sized fighter and stick around for a while if needed. May I suggest we also try to get a hold of Frangelica? With her Q related and natural powers, she may have some ideas on the matter.
I guess our next big adventure be the LICC's search for Quantum Man...

We wish to clarify Lily Lavendar's post of January 28, 2003 - 05:32 am.

All three of its members receive the bad news.

Thank you.

The Management

A blueshirted Lt. is still scanning the black hole.

D@mn. Still no signs of abnormal Hawking Radiation. No abnormal (for a black hole) activity. Nothing.

Commander Milkshake walks on to the bridge. The (acting) science officer looks up.

He's gone, Sir. I'm sorry.

Sensing more emotional distress, Rikard comes across Shadow Senshi.

Are you okay?

Thanks to the holy St. Heisenberg you cannot predict what happens when a black hole and Quantum Man collide. That's even more mysterious than my normal behaviour or my glorious dark past. I have no idea if, where and when he is now.

Jackson walks over and looks at the readings.
Would it be possible to send a probe into the black hole?
Butrfli, would you be able to do something?
Butrfli: From what I understand, no known form of magic has been able to penetrate, reverse, or rescue somebody from a black hole.

Most of the mourners are still on the holodeck, although more and more are following the Captain's example and solemnly leaving. Observer sits at a picnic table quite a little distance away from the rest of the attendees. He is tired-looking, rumpled, and typing on a PADD in front of him.

Artsy quietly walks up the low hill to the table, and takes him in a gentle hug from behind.

"Hey." she says.

"Hey." he says.

She sits down beside him, her hair still tinged with grey/silver. "You okay?" she asks.

He sighs. "I'll be fine. I've had to go through too many of these, but I'll be fine. I'm just glad you and Seeker made it."

She laughs lightly. "Seeker's good at dealing with tight situations. So whatcha doing?" Artsy gestures at the PADD.

"Oh." He chuckles. "Remember you mentioned I need a new name?"

"Uh-huh."

He scrolls down the active window on the PADD's screen, gesturing. Artsy takes a closer look at exactly what he's accessing.

"Department of Identity and Public Records, Earth. How'd you get into this?" she asks, surprised.

He grins. "I have a few friends on Earth who owe me a favor. Not only do I need a name, but a birth certificate and quite a few other things. My
friends are very well-placed."

"I bet. So you're making it now?"

"That's right. Keiran Alec Morgan. Born, February 12th, 2976 in Kathmandu to human parents from Rigel, graduated class of '98, Brown University with an Master's Degree in Education, registered with the Department of Superheroics as a Type-5 Non-Hereditary Supernormal. Current address, U.S.S. Spidermobile, where I'm a trained adviser assigned to the L.I.C.C. I guess this means I'll start getting paid."

Artsy laughs. "What were you registered as before?"

"Nothing! That's it, wherever I had a mission I only had as little ID as possible in the mission setting. Sometimes I needed to be a whole person,
but as for the rest, I was basically a Nowhere Man. Last year, Jackson offered to make me an official team member with DoS status, but I didn't feel it was necessary. I've also been having Jackson and Steve downplay my role in mission logs as much as possible, so EarthGov wouldn't take too much of an interest in me. Seems it's worked."

Artsy shook her head. "Amazing how a whole person can just fall through the cracks, especially with Earth's cybernetic society."

"Happens all the time."

"Mm. That's a good name, Keiran. I like it."

Observer finishes his rapid typing into the DIPR database and closed the file. Turning to Artsy, he puts on a relieved expression. "Whew, I'm glad,
too late to do anything about it now."

Artsy raises a pink eyebrow at him. "Glad you thought to consult me beforehand, Keiran."

Obser--no, Keiran, now--grins at her, and the artist gives a melodramatic sigh. Then she bends over to kiss him. "I don't think I've been spending enough time with Quito. Why don't you come over for a while? You deserve some downtime."

Ye... No... I... don't know.

I just wish I could do something!

Bring him back. Change time. Appeal to his... 'creator'.

(Rikard puts a comforting hand on her shoulder which causes her to realize)

But you knew Quantum Man for years. How are you feeling?

Fan: AAAAAAAA! Did you see that! Rikard 'comforting' Shadow Senshi! Are they trying to break up the Rikard/Enesku relationship? It's a perfect relationship. Rikard's a straight arrow, by-the-book kind of guy and Enesku is a wild, to-Hell-with-the-book kind of gal and the age difference adds to the sexual tension and drama as they can't really do anything to consumate their relationship.
Shadow Senshi's just a whiny, Japanese wannabe, otaku.

Friend: Oh, get over it. He just put his hand on her shoulder. He didn't wrap his arms around her and give a big old kiss. You're reading way too much into a simple act of compassion.
(pause)
Besides I think Rikard and Eve make a cute couple.

Fan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!@#$@#$%&*#!

(an elf interrupts Rikard and Shadow's conversation)

Excuse me, but are you Josh Rikard of the LICC?

"No. I'm John Rikard."

What? Are you sure?

"Yes."

Are there any Josh Rikard's on the ship?

"No."

Oh. (the elf looks disappointed) Oh, well. Sorry to disturb you. (the elf turns and starts to walk away.)

Sir, have I got a great idea! What if we have Enesku & Shadow Something get into a cat fight over Rikard? Enesku can come in, scream, "Hands off! He's mine!" then we can have the hair pulling, the scratching, the tearing clothes. Should really raise the ratings! Whattya think?

I like it! Go get me a double-latte!

The sleazy assistant leaves. EE picks up the phone.

JB? EE here. I've got a great idea! Why don't we have that spear chick and that shadow chick get into a catfight? Ratings right through the roof!

Grnat Lopez walked down the corridor in his dress uniform. He had just left one memorial service and now had to prepare another. Jason Kiehart cuaght up with him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Grant, I know this probably isn't the best time but I think I've learned who the TerrSec plant is. Thanks to those files Noah's mom gave me I've been using the tachyon net to strike at them and steal secret information, and I have a name. Ensign Lorraine Duch-" "Duchant," Grant finished. Kiehart looked confused. "How did you know?" "I didn't, but that's goign to make planning her funeral a bit dificult," Grant muters and stomps away. Kiehart catches up with him again. "Hold on, her funeral? Grant, what the hell happened?" "Her cockpit was punctured by a piece of debris from one of the enemy ships during the battle out there. She didn't get her mask up in time and the emrgency sheilds failed. Rikard has already informed her family, and I was preparing a memorial service. I, don't know what to say Jason, I really don't she died protecting this ship, she was a loyal member of Hornet Squad with a good track record, and then you lay all this on me. I can't beleive she was a spy, but," he grabs Kiehart's padd and looks at the TerrSec file. "Here it is, in black and white as they say. What should I do here Jason?" Kiehart sighs. "I'm no good at this sort of thing Grant. If you want to keep this airtight, just between us, and continue with the service fine. If you want to give this information to the Captain, fine. But whatever you do, you gotta come to this decision on your own."

Jackson, Butrfli, Alex, and Milkshake sit around a table, discussing things.
Jackson: I can't believe Quantum Man is really gone. Steve, have you had a chance to let Frangelica know?
I think I might know where she is if you don't...
Alex: Yep, he was a good guy.

"That sounds fine."

Keiran gets up, a little gingerly, and he and Artsy leave the holodeck.

You do realize that its very possible that there could be more than one spy, don't you?

Jason and Grant turn around to see Quincy K. Rocket standing there, wearing his Galactic Order dress uniform (same basic design as his regular uniform, but the purple and black are reversed and there are fancy epaulets on the shoulders of the jacket, which is slightly longer. And he has on a purple headpiece with black trim sort of resembling a cross between a sheik's headgear and a baseball cap with the Galactic Order logo on the front in purple and silver).

I've had enough dealings with TerrSec in the past to know that they usually have two spies working on an operation for them at once. Not just one.

Pauses.

I hope I'm wrong this time....

He keeps walking down the corridor, stops at a replicator, and orders some lemon and mint tea.

He's describing his outfit again! Time for another drink!

gulp

Ughhh....this BF drinking game is going to turn me into an alcoholic, I just know it.

Milkshake is picking at the crumbled remnants of a piece of I'danan spice cake, one of the refreshments from the memorial.

Oh, I've been keeping tabs on her and Subway Man since we saw them last. I've sent them a message, but we haven't gotten a reply yet. And I don't think he's really gone. We don't quite know for sure, he may have tunneled into another dimension, been bounced to the other side of the galaxy, who knows? But we'll find out, sooner or later.

To Shadow Senshi
Hold that thought.

He turns toward the elf.
Wait a second.

The elf stops and turns around.

Gerber Elf: Yes?
Rikard: My name used to be Josh Rikard. I recently changed it because I was having some confusion with an acquaintance of mine. Maybe I am your guy.

The Gerber Elf pulls out a pad and a PADD. He glances back and forth from each and up to Rikard several times before nodding.
GE: Yep, you're him.

With that, the Gerber Elf quickly pulls out a ray gun and fires two shots. Luckily, Rikard is carrying his lightsaber on his dress uniform. As soon as the elf pulls out the gun, Rikard has his saber lit. He deflects several of the shots that the Gerber Elf fires. Finally, the elf puts his gun away.
GE: Well, it appears that this contest cannot be decided with my ability with my pistol but with my skill with the lightsaber.

The Gerber Elf pulls out a small cylinder and presses a button. A pink blade appears.
Rikard: Hmm. Pink.
GE: Drat, I hate it when this happens. Hold on a second.
The Gerber Elf deactivates the lightsaber and bangs it against the wall a few times. When he reactivates it, it now has a yellow beam.
Rikard: Ah, yellow. I've never seen a yellow one either.
The Gerber Elf just leaps at him with a great yell and the two fight much like Dooku and Yoda in Star Wars: II. The fighting is fast, it's intense, it's furious, and Senshi would hardly be able to follow it if she wasn't a superhero. Finally, after a long duel, Rikard slices the Elf's saber in half and pushes the elf (with the Force? With his mind? who can keep it straight anymore?) into a nearby closet. The door closes and automatically locks. Rikard takes a deep breath, a little tired from the fight.
Well, that's that. I better get security down here to take him to the brig. Or I could just beam him.
Before he can make a sound, a hiss and a pop are heard from the other side of the "closet". Rikard reads the sign above the door Waste Ejection. He's sent the elf into the trash. And it had ejected into space.
Whoops. Poor guy. Although, he did try to kill me...

Rikard walks back to Shadow Senshi.
That was certainly unusual. I'll have to report that guy. And probably recover his body.

As for my feeling about Quantum Man's death. I don't know what to say. Remorse, regret. I'm sad that he's gone. I'm not angry like I was when Tacoman and Adon were killed. Or when Milkshake disappeared in the first Frank attack. I hadn't even been awake for that. There was a lot of hope that he wasn't really dead. But Quantum Man's death was different from theirs. He chose to sacrifice himself. He did a valiant thing to save the ship and I will always greatly respect and admire him for his selfless act. But that doesn't make it any easier. I'll miss the guy, and his God-awful wardrobe.

Jackson picks up and drinks a Gendarian fruit mixer, another remaining fragment of the service.
Well, if he's in another dimension or on the other side of the galaxy, may I offer our services? Butrfli and I are freelance, we've got a ship that can travel the dimensions, and we've got nothing better to do. We just program in Quantum's bio- and non-biosigns into the computer, and we search. It may take a while, but we'll find him, even if he's scattered throughout the dimensions.

Kiehart sighs. "I suppose I'll have to keep digging to find out if you're right. I've wanted to keep it to a minimum. So fars it looks like my little raids on their inforamtion stores have gone unnoticed. But if my old friends are in danger I'm willing to risk another trip. I'll have to leave a little sooner than intended. And I don't want to risk Noah's life, so I hope you won't mind giving him a ride to the Andafi home world." He smiles. "By the way, spiffy outfit you got there Quince."

Thanks, Jayce. I think the jacket looks sharp, but as for the hat....

He rolls his eyes upward for a second.

I don't know if I should be asking for someone to send in my harem and the daily oil reports, or looking for a fastball to the inside corner of the plate! But that's what the Galactic Order gets for letting the Z'hyr'ia'n'ians design the uniforms. Nice people, but they have lousy taste in headgear.

Pauses for a second.

About the spy.....have you contacted the Space Marshals about this? They might be able to provide you with some useful information. The first thing the new administration did was instigate a secret investigation into TerrSec's offworld operations. Not that they could do anything about it directly if they found anything, but still.....

Takes a sip of tea.

As for taking Noah back to the Andafi home world....no problem. I've got to head that way to deliver some documents that have to be signed in person to an ambassador staying there.

Wow! That was incredible! I could hardly keep up with who was where weilding what. Wow! Whipped him good you did!

(Rikard blushed a little at the praise, then he noticed that Eve's hair was now shorter on the left side)

Wha? Oh, yeah, one of those shots you deflected came a little close. Guess I'll have to go to the salon and have it evened up.

So why was he trying to kill you?

(At that moment a voice cried out) "Hands off! He's mine" (And down the hallway came two avian humanoids named Spear Chick and Shadow Chick. (Apparently casting misunderstood the Evil Executive's instructions.))

Shadow Chick: No! He's mine! Take that. (She swings and misses.)

Spear Chick: Oh, yeah. (She swings the sword, which misses Shadow Chick but slices the hair on Shadow Senshi's right side.)

Shadow Chick: When I'm done people will cross the road to get away from YOU!
(She knocks the spear aside and grabs Spear Chick's hair and begins scratching at her. Spear Chick starts pulling Shadow Chick's hair and clawing at her. Feathers are flying, the chicks are screaming and as they roll out of camera range the sound of clothes ripping can be heard. Then Gonzo the Great runs by, holding a video camera.)

Gonzo: Yes, girls! Fight! Fight for me! Hahahahahaha!

(Eve & Rikard stare after the three for a moment then Eve says)
Well, I guess I won't need to visit the salon after all.

a. Both sweet and bitter; figuratively, pleasant but painful.

(the trash pod is recovered and the folded, spindled & mutilated elf is extracted)

Security person: Is he alive?

Holodoc: Surprisingly, but not for long.

Security: All right you, this padd you were carrying has the names of 47 people who have been mysteriously killed in the past year, as well as an additional 47 names. Did you kill those 47 people?

Y... yes...

Security: Why? For what reason?

Who... *cough* *cough* who needs reasons when you've got a list? Aaaaack!

Holodoc: He's dead.

Security: Now we'll never know. Just a loony killing people at random.

Holodoc: Are you sure? Perhaps he just didn't want to give the reason, or maybe he was given the list by someone who had their own reasons for wanting these people dead.

Security: Well, I couldn't find anything that linked all these people together.

Holodoc: So either the list was completely random, or at least, partially random, or maybe there is something unknown, to us, linking all these people.

Security: Looking for invisible links in a galaxy-sized haystack.

Holodoc: If someone other than this elf wanted those people dead, it's just a matter of time before more of those names start ending up on death certificates.

Too bad the security guard's name wasn't "Jim". Then Holodoc could have said, "He's dead, Jim."

Wow...that's quite an offer, Jackson. The universe is a big place, and accounting for parallel dimensions, who knows how long it would take? Don't get me wrong, it's very decent of you, but it might take a long, long time.

Well, I just hope Quantum's still safe and sound and knows how to reach us.

I suspect it could take years...decades...centuries, perhaps... And with my immortality gone, I may not live to see him found, but Butrfli and the kids are very, very long-lived, and maybe they'll find him.
It also helps that in our travels, we discovered an undisturbed XDCA archive, containing data about dozens upon dozens of parallel dimensions. I can download the information into the Spidership's computer if you want.
Who knows, somehow, some accident may occur that would bring my immortality back. Stranger things have happened.
Butrfli: Besides, all this traveling is good for the kids... we've all learned quite a bit about other cultures and peoples.

"Well the only thing that's certain is that the other plant, if there is one, would've had to have joined the crew the last time the ship was in the Sol system. Anytime else would've been suspicious. That should help narrow the search a bit. Grant, I need you to keep your eyes and ears open. I'll come back if I find anything. In the meantime, I need to find a planetary library. I've been using those computers for my raids. Makes it harder to be noticed by unwanted eyes." He slaps Grant on the shoulder then nods at Ranger. "Keep this between us for the time being. The rest of the command staff has enough to worry about right now. Let's not add to it unless we have to. See you on the flipside."

A little confused, Rikard watches the fight down the corridor for a few seconds before shrugging and turning back to Shadow Senshi.
Well, that's unusual. I guess I shouldn't be surprised though. Random stuff like that happens all the time on this ship.

He glancs at the hair that he had accidentally singed.
Whoa, a couple of close calls. Blaster bolt and a sword. Sorry about that. You're really lucky. A couple centimeters closer... well, at least you got a free haircut.

As for him, I have no idea why he wanted to kill me. Maybe it had something to do with that pad of paper he had. It seems that someone always has to attack when we're mourning.

Quincy looks at Keihart.

No problem. And good luck with the raids.

He walks down the corridor and looks for a turbolift.

(the lights dim, lightning and thunder flashes, an organ playing funeral-type music can be heard and a ghostlike image appears and speaks to Commander Milkshake and the others)

Look youse guys, da bosses downstairs wants ta make it clear. No more trips to da underworld to bring back da dead! Once one of youse checks in, ya stay checked in! Kapeesh?

(a question is asked about Quantum Man)

Ise don't know da names. Der you know how many people we has ta process.

(a description is offered)

Lavender?

Oh, poiple! Yeah, I think I sawr sumbuddy in a poiple suit.

Anyway, No more trips to da Underworld unless yer dead! Or we'll kill ya. Got it?

Oh, yeah, one more thing. What did youse guys do wiff Kilaev Pau-Amma? We sent her up wiff some of youse guys to keep an eye on yas and we hasn't heard from her in months.

Um...uh...er...Kilaev, right...

Jackson, you want to field this one?

Roxy... what has become of The Masked Enigma? Was he rewarded for his good deeds, or punished for his evil?

No idea, Steve. The only ones who came back with me were Frangelica, Furby, and Rikard. If this Kilaev entity is aboard, maybe the sensors can detect her somehow...
Roxy, who is Kilaev Pau-Amma anyway?

How did you know my name?

Oh, da nametag! Fergot I wuz wearing dat.

I don't who checked in. Dat's da responsibility uv da regular clerk. I just know that when the LICC affiliation was noted da bosses decided to send ya da message.

Da last time some uv you came down* dey was ferbidden to say Tacoman's name fer 24 hours. Kilaev was sent to keep an eye on dem. Den dair was some kind uv dimensunul disturbance and we never hoid back from her.

* LICCs XIV-XVI

Butrfli, could detect this Kilaev?
Butrfli: I can try...
Butrfli closes her eyes and begins softly chanting. After a few minutes, she opens her eyes.
My powers aren't as good as the sensors, but I think I've found her general position... Deck 4, I think...

But...what was lurking on Deck 4....was in fact...

Gasps from the audience

Once more on the phone.

They're down HOW MUCH? That much???!!!! I'll take care of this!

With that, the Evil Executive slams down the phone and storms out the door. K-NIT staffers take one look at his face, and scurry out of the way. By the time he's reached the bottom floor of the K-NIT Tower, word has spread throughout the studios, and the streets outside are empty, giving him an unobstructed path to the sound stage where LICC is filmed.

SLAM!!!!!!

He slams open the door to the sound stage and walks inside. He stalks to the center of the set -- interrupting the filming in progress -- and calls for quiet.

SHUT UP!!!!! Now listen up, and listen good. Ratings for this show have been in the toilet. Effective immediately, LICC is on hiatus.

With that, he leaves, returning to his office high in the K-NIT Tower.

ZZZSSSHHHHHHH....

"And now, stay tuned for our Late Late Movie, 'Manos: The Hands of Fate'."