LAST TIME ON LICC...
Boring stuff and meetings.
Alright, alright. Cyber 9 and the Legion appears and offers assistance to the League, and is rudely turned away. Delgado calculates redshirt deaths.
NOW GOING ON IN LICC...
Fast-forward 2 hours. Captain Jansen brusquely orders the Spidermobile to investigate a Terran distress signal several light-years off their flight path. The Spidermobile is en route and closing...
Milkshake takes his station on the bridge. He calls up his neglected messages and e-mails. The first few paragraphs of Lopez' report fills the screen, when...
Yellowshirt: Captain, I'm reading a Terran vessel and several unknown ships, as well as weaponsfire, sir. The Terran vessel...it appears to be incomplete or damaged. The alien ships are firing what seems to be organic weapons. Explosives and radioactive substances. It also seems like the alien ship have several organic components, as well. No sign of X-CwX, Blue Fugate, or O'kakian ships.
Sounds like Vong mischief to me!
Red alert. Shields up. Ready weapons. Pete, hail the Terran vessel, please.
Oh by the way, Milky, just in case it looks disastrous again - it has been officially announced now that the Furby Empire has completed the tests of a new weapon system. You know what I mean, don't you? I could easily arrange some very nice fireworks after our recon fighters have returned with good news.
Hailing frequencies open, Commander.
Just then it starts to hail on the bridge of the Terran vessel. The crew tries to dodge the painful little balls of solid ice.
"So this is what they meant on the preview when they said that 'All hail was going to break loose...'"
"Awk! Malfunction in bridge life support systems!"
A staticky voice can almost be heard over the commotion on the bridge. It is female, and familiar.
"Earth ship, this is the G.R.O...Earth vessel Dolphintail, please respond!"
Rocket Ranger rolls his eyes inside his helmet.
=/\=SnowCrane to Dolphintail. I've never heard of the organization G.R.O. before. Care to elaborate?=/\=
On another channel, to the ThunderWolf.
=/\=Kent, arm the Quantum Torpedo launcher and set it for attack pattern Omicron. Something's fishy here, and I think I have an idea what it is......=/\=
On yet another frequency, this one to the Spidership.
=/\=Earth vessel, my foot! Commander, do we play along with their little charade or open fire?=/\=
Hey, I opened the hailing frequences, not this Padawan Observer person. Someone must have confused us because our first names begin with the same letter. But at least I'm also "Lt."
Meanwhile, bored with all the waiting, Alex wanders over to the replicator in Rocket's lab and gets something to eat. He knows that he will be part of the main battle, as something of a secret weapon.
"We're an Earth vessel, part of the Department of Superheroics! Please, we can't last much longer!"
The organic ships cease their attack on the Earth(?) vessel and turn to face the Spidermobile. One begins to emit a powerful, pulsating laser at the Spider, causing only light damage to the shields.
A group of sheep-shaped ships comes out of warp and sends a message to the Spidership.
Spidership, stop! Just because these ships fired on you is no legal reason to fire back! Doing so would be a criminal act! Peace is all about not shooting back! Shooting back could lead to war and nobody wants that.
Suddenly an enemy vessal fires on the lead sheepship.
Okay, my bad. The non-human lifeform was probably insulted by my only sending a message to you instead of making a general broadcast, or maybe they are worried that we are an invasion force come to steal whatever natural resources their planet has, or maybe they are really afraid of sheep.
The ship fires again and destroys the lead sheepship. Then a message comes from another sheepship.
Okay, we don't know why our leader's ship was destroyed, but we don't want you, the Spidership, to start an interstellar incident by leaping to the conclusion that that was a hostile act on the part of, um, those other ships, and we are fully prepared to use our ships to block any weapons you may fire at them, in order to keep the peace.
Jackson looks over at Milkshake
Does any of that make any sense to you?
"Peace Protestor" guys, it was inappropriate when Moore did it at the Oscars, and it's inappropriate here.
Delgado, still at the Spare Crewmember Station, is quite puzzled at the events.
"What the flock?"
"Ops, put a tractor beam on the sheepships, steer them away from enemy fire."
Meanwhile, two of the organic ships, their attention preoccupied to the newcomers, are heavily damaged by torpedoes fired by the Dolphintail.
The real Delgado steps off the turbolift and spots an imposter sitting at the Spare Crewmember Station. The faux Delgado looks up in surprise.
"Whoops! Gotta go!" With that, he dissapears, leaving the somewhat puzzled Lt. to frown over the rather strange incident.
"Geez, I go check on Lloyd for a second and suddenly they've got a copy of me..."
Lopez shakes his head, while sitting in his fighter. "Hey, I'm against all out war too, but this isn't war, this is self-defense! It's not like we're tyring to replace an non-Earth friendly tyrant with an Earth friendly tyrant then rape his land for it's resources. Geez, some sheeple." Plevyak and the other pilots voice their agreements over the comm systems of the Banshee squadron. Lopez smiles. "Right. Now that that tasteful soiliquy(sp?) is out of the way, let's go after a REAL threat!"
POOF!
A disembodied hand grabs ScottN by the scruff of the neck and yanks him off the Bridge over to the Discussion Board.
YOINK!
POOF!
Steve, if these are Sheepships(Trying saying that three times fast), then maybe a Shephardship or Herdingdogship isn't far behind...
I wonder if they're ship-shape sheepships...
Sir, sensors show six still-sorta-ship-shape sheepship spaceships shoop-shooping along.
The poor redshirt's tongue gets all tangled in his throat and causes him to suffocate.
"Oh bro, that one HAS to win Best Redshirt Death at the next Nittys my nizzle."
"Yeah boy, that post was off tha hizzle fo shizzle!"
The organic ships abruptly cease their attack, gather around their (wounded?) comrades, and jump to warp en masse.
Gouts of flame then erupt from the side of the damaged Dolphintail, heavily damaged by the fight.
"Spidermobile...please help us!"
Pete, lock on and beam whoever's on that ship to a secured transporter room!
=/\=Commander, if I may make a suggestion.....I get the feeling something isn't right here. Stationing an armed security team near the transporter room might be prudent.=/\=
Beep beep beeeep beep bep.
Sooo, forcefields are up, anesthezine is in and combat tribbles are almost there.
Gee, what does Rocket Ranger think that "Secured Transporter Room" means?
You've anesthezized them already, Alt? That might just be a little drastic. Number One, Pete, Adon, you're with me.
Milkshake heads into the turbolift, bound for the transporter room.
There's always a chance of escaping, not matter how secure a transporter room is!
Following Commander Milkshake...
They're under attack, heavily damaged, and Rocket Ranger thinks they're hostile because they're from the G.R.O.? Is that the only reason he thinks that they're hostile? Sounds a little paranoid. Did he not notice the static between "O" and Earth vessel? A ship from the DOS with the first three letters being GRO. Hmmm, I wonder who they could be. You think it's them sir?
Also following Commander Milkshake...
I guess we'll find out who it is in a few minutes.}
Heading for Transporter Room 4, the usual 'secured' room because of location (Deck 12, near non-critical sections), Milkshake replies.
"We'll see. I have my suspicions, but...oh, forgot. Computer. Clear anethesine gas from Transporter Room 4."
Squee-squawk
The doors to the room hiss open, and in the rapidly clearing air behind two heavy force-fields can be seen two prone humanoid bodies and a conscious one.
"Captain Milkshake, on behalf of myself and my crewmates, I formally surrender ourselves. I, however, protest the unnecessary chemical sedation.", says Betamax, third officer of the G.R.O.S.S. vessel Dolphinmobile.
What is it with these Department of Superhero vessels having two names? Spidermobile & Spidership, Dolphinmobile & Dolphintail?
Maybe it's a secret identity thing? Maybe the Dolphinmobile slips on a pair of glasses and calls itself Dolphintail to confuse people?
I'm not sure what's worse. The fact that they do that, or the fact that it works.
The Dolphintail was the aft warp section of the Dolphinmobile.
And now some scenes from the next episode of The League of Intergalactic Cosmic K-NIT Viewers!
-
"Oh Wow! Did you see that!"
-
"Aaaaaaaa! Hit the mute button! It's a commercial!"
-
"I can't prove it, but I have a hunch that the Evil Executive was behind that."
-
All that and more on an all new episode!
"It was unauthorized, I apologize. And now, the question now is what to do with you. Like it as we might, we cannot immediately return to Terran space to hand you over to Earth authorities."
Rocket Ranger teleports into the room, having docked the SnowCrane since it doesn't look like there's going to be a space battle anytime soon. He has on his normal armor, instead of the Pilot Armor. He arrives just in time to hear Milkshake speak.
Commander, I'd like to make a suggestion....
Turn them over to the Space Marshalls. Ever since the house cleaning, the Space Marshalls have been understaffed and they could use a few more officers.
Milkshake and the members of G.R.O.S.S. all look stunned. Rocket Ranger looks at the members of G.R.O.S.S.
From what I've seen, with the exception of your former leader Captain West, you're not really evil. Just seriously misguided. But you've got a lot of making up to do for the thngs you've done. Being Space Marshalls, or at least working closely with them, would allow you to not only make amends, but it would also help you attain the noteriety and accolades that you have apparently been bitter about not receiving.
Pauses.
Besides, it would allow us to keep close tabs on you. Think of it as community service. Or would you rather rot in prison?
The other two prisoners seem to be slowly reviving. Both appear rumpled, dirty, and tired. A cold-eyed blond man in blue helps a brightly costumed young woman to her feet.
"W-what's happened? Beta?" asks ShootingStar, rubbing her eyes.
"We've been picked up by the L.I.C.C., and anethesized. Somehow, I don't blame them for the precaution." says Angstrom, wryly.
"I shall have to confer with my compatriots, Mr. Ranger, but I do not believe they will entertain your offer." says Betamax.
Rocket Ranger nods his head in disappointment. He then speaks and makes sure that all the members of G.R.O.S.S. can hear him.
That's a shame, Betamax. Because if they DON'T accept it, then I hope you and your compatriots don't have any plans for the next 20 to 25 years!
He pauses.
Its too bad you all decided to throw away perfectly good careers and promising futures to follow that idi0t West.
"Captain West was not an idiot! He w--" Angstrom manages to get out before 'Star restrains him.
"I believe our sentences have not been determined until a full trial and conviction by the Department of Justice, Mr. Ranger."
Morgan enters Zen Forward rather unobstrusively. Windward is still there, as he was several hours ago. Morgan takes a seat nearby.
Welcome back, Keiran. I hope that you accomplished whatever it was that you set out to do.
Gene swirls the little liquid at the bottem of his glass around a few times before finishing it off.
Don't worry, I haven't done anything while you were gone. I heard that some things went down while you were gone though. Picked up a few guests from out of time.
Keiran raises an eyebrow at that comment but says nothing.
Not much else has trickled through the grapevine though. But all this sitting around is getting dull. I wish this party would start soon.
Planning to get involved, are you? This mission seems to be perhaps more dangerous than anything we've faced before.
Gene grinned.
Those are the jobs I like the most. The biggest fish are always the most dangerous, but they net the biggest payoffs.
His right hand went down to his him and grabbed empty air. He froze for a split second, and then remembered that he left his gun back on his ship. Then he relaxed and placed his hand on the table.
Small fish aren't worth my time, which is why I decided to try and follow the LICC. You have a habbit of attracting all of the galaxy's biggest fish.
Adon drew his sword when he entered the transporter room, but when he saw who was there, he didn't sheath it but placed it point down on the deck. With a flick of the wrist, he spun the sword on it's point like a top.
We could always just toss them in the brig for now, and sort this mess out later. I doubt that we will have the people to spare keeping an eye on them, much less giving them access to the equipment, all things considered.
That's the truth. But how did the DoS get ahold of you anyway? Doesn't seem like bounty hunters often offer their services to the government, or at least a branch of it. Or do you put up ads on the Net? "Have gun will travel, wire Windward"?
Well, we all work for the government, since they're the ones who put the price tags on people's heads. We just pick up the people and deliver them to the appropriate people.
As for them hiring me to do this job, I like to think that I have a few links here and there. A kind of insider trading, if you will. Not everyone approves of it, but it does help bring the Bounties in. Given my reputation, and how jumpy the bigwigs are over this whole deal, it's not supprising that they started hiring outside help. Too bad for the competition I caught the last ship to leave. The civilian ships are no match speedwise for a warship. And in my line of buisness, there's no prize for the runner-up.
They didn't appreciate it, to be sure but in the end, I managed to hitch a ride out here, and you know the rest.
Just then, Alex walks into Zen Forward. Having nothing to do but sit and wait, he has decided to have a drink. Noticing Keiran and Windward, he decides to sit with them. He addresses Windward.
So, any idea of who's going to be in the fighter groups on the other ships when we get into battle?
Rocket Ranger looks at Betamax.
With the evidence at hand, I'm pretty sure you'll be convicted. And 20 to 25 years is a rough estimate of the sentence you'll each get.
He pauses.
And DON'T call me `Mr. Ranger'!
Lopez walks into Zen Forward. He normally eats in the pilot's lounge with the others, but everyone else had gone back to thier quarters to stretch. They'd been stuck sitting in thier fighters for way too long, and many were geting tried and even worse, getting cramps. Milkshake mercifully granted them a few minutes to relax. Lopez goes over to Alex's table, just as he says So, any idea of who's going to be in the fighter groups on the other ships when we get into battle?. "Good thinking Alex. I should arrange a mee-uh, I should arrange a get together with the Flight Commanders of the other ships. Just to avoid getting in each other's way."
Curses! Foiled again!
I wonder why G.R.O.S.S. let Betamax be a member. Did the updated version, VHSmax, refuse to join?
"Captain, if I may ask, why is the Spidermobile so far out in uncharted space? It took the Dolphinmobile many months at high warp to escape this far."
*****IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FROM K-NIT TV 47*****
Ladies and gentlemen, as most of you know, last season K-NIT was supoosed to air a brand new action-oriented detective series, Jack Mightee, Iron-Jawed Detective, but the master tape of the pilot episode was seriously damaged, losing over half the footage, and the tapes of the tapes of the subsequent episodes were outright destroyed in an electrical fire at the studio where the series was filmed.
Well, recently, filming of the lost part of the pilot has resumed after a long delay while the lead actor, Brad Powers, finished completing the romantic comedy Where Are The Roses?.
To celebrate this momentous occasion, K-NIT TV 47 and Chish & Fips are teaming up for a promotional tour and some brand new {Jack Mightee, Iron-Jawed Detective} merchandise will be available at your local Chish & Fips restaurant and at finer department stores everywhere.
If you're in Bloomington, Indiana next Friday, stop by the Chish & Fips location there, where Will Cross, the actor who plays Vic Hardin, will be signing free autographs from noon until 4pm.
Brad Powers and Will Cross will also be signing autographs the following Saturday at the Chish & Fips in Lansing, Michigan, from noon until 4pm, and at the Knoxville, Tennessee location on Sunday from 1pm until 5pm.
(Yes, this means the Jack Mightee, Iron-Jawed Detective board is active again.)
One! Two! Three! Four!
We would rather watch the War!
Five! Six! Seven! Eight!
'Cause we think the War is great!
Jadlad walks inside Transporter Room 4.
Or they could all be from an alternate dimension filled with jelly people, and have assumed the form of G.R.O.S.S. members and are trying to take over the universe!
Hmmmmmmmm???
Everybody looks at Jadlad.
Okay, maybe not.
He starts to leave and turns around.
But they could be!
Yeah! That's just what *THEY* want you to think!
Suddenly, two men dressed in black materialize in the Transporter Room. They grab the redshirt, and dematerialize. Unfortunately, only half the redshirt went with them.
This is taking too long. Let's just throw them in the brig and get to our destination. We have to find out what is going on with the enemy forces.
Right, Number One. Ensign Beamer, transport the prisoners to Detention Cell 3. We'll deal with them later. Milkshake to bridge, prepare a secure channel to the Atlantis. They should be informed of the situation.
ShootingStar shouts "NO!"
"Captain, you must not be allowed--" Angstrom begins.
"Captain, we can offer--" Betamax starts, and then all three of them are beamed away.
The prisoners materialize in a holding cell that has been decorated like a dungeon or torture chamber from the middle ages. Additionally it's really dark there. Only a few features can be seen through the force field - a stretching rack, a coal fire with red hot "tools" in it, an Iron Lady holding her handbag and a nice assortment of interesting bones (made on Taiwan III). A disfigured creature dressed in a dirty robe slowly approaches the unlucky ones.
Chhh, welcome to my humbly abode, chhh, Lady and, chhh, Gentlemen. Have a nice, chhh, time here, chhh.
Mwuahahahahaha, let's stop this comedy.
It's not Igor but of course the Furby.
Now, what did you want in this area of space? I must say that it is indeed an interesting coincidence that we've met you being attacked while we're on a new mission.
I am all ear.
Meanwhile Jadlad is bouncing off the walls, literally.
BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! Weeeeeeee!!!
Delgado, who hasn't been up to much of late, decides to leave the bridge in search of Fred Lloyd, the somewhat out-of-place passenger the ship had previously picked up. Last time Delgado had seen Lloyd was when he'd left the time-wandering Reds fan in the care of a blueshirt.
"Computer, locate Mr. Lloyd."
"Mr. Lloyd is in Crew Section 47-BX, room 38."
Delgado heads for the proper room and hits the door page. He gets a somewhat muffled "come in" as a response and enters to find both the blueshirt and Mr. Lloyd slumped on a table, sleeping and snoring quite heftily, with several bottles of Zentathian Vodka littering the immediate area.
"Wow, I wonder where they found all that..."
A further examination of the room reveals that, after the blueshirt escorted Lloyd to his quarters, the pair discovered yet another one of the portable holes that had been scattered about the ship during the refit. This hole, it seemed, led to a warehouse on Zentath, where many boxes of the drink were stored. Delgado paged Engineering to send someone up to close the hole, and then left to go find more redshirt-type-things.
A door opens near the top of the holding cell, and Mel Brooks dances out, followed by a group of priests and nuns. They're singing about the Inquisition and how it's here to stay.
One of the Brady triplets walks by.
"Hey Jadlad, you wanna go build a go-cart?"
"Oh, hiya Sherry Lynn! I'd like to, but I'm kinda in the middle of bouncing off the walls."
"Okay, maybe later. By the way, Badlad is on the ship turning people into clown zombies. Maybe you'd better take care of him."
"Okay. See ya later"
Jadlad begins exploring the ship.
Crater, deck 47, mine shaft filled with live Redshirts, a giant talking ham sandwich...there he is!
In a very long (and expensive) fight scene Jadlad wins over Badlad, turns the people back to normal and has Badlad tossed back into his own dimension. Jadlad taps his combadge.
=/\=Hey Delgado. I found a mine shaft filled with live Redshirts. It's on Deck 8. And I don't know how we got a mine shaft on the ship, I wasn't in charge of this refit!=/\=
"Okay, Lt., I'll put that on the list. Need any help getting them out?"
=/\=Nah. I'm almost done. In fact I only have to get one more then I'll be...WHOOPS!..uh, Redshirt clean-up crew Deck 8. Umm, sorry about that Lt. Delgado, at least the 47 I did save are okay. For the moment anyway.=/\=
Alex turns to Grant and says
I wonder if we're ever going to get into battle at this rate....
Grant nods his agreement. "I don't like these quiet times. My ex-wife and I used to fight all the time, and the worst ones were always preceded by uncomfortable silence. Of course the worst fights were about me catching her in bed with three high school students." Alex's jaw drops. He wasn't sure wether the statement itself was what shocked him, or if it was the fact that Lopez was opening up to somebody other than Jason Kiehart or Brad Plevyak. Maybe it was both. "Geez FC that's horrible. Why didn't you elave her the first time youc aught her?" "I did." But yous aid thre- Wait, you don't mean-" "Triple Stuffed." "Ohmigod! You're serious?" "Serious as cancer Alex." "Yikes, no wonder you hate her so much. Were, um, were all three, uh, well. I hardly know how to put it." "Were all three under 18? Yep. Did she serve any time for it? No. It was her word against mine and her dad worked the DoS. That's why I thought that Captian West guy we fought a while back might've been my ex-father-in-law, but it was just a coincidence." "Quite a coincidence though." "Yep."
We're sorry, but that last post must be reworded.
Um, which part? I'm willing to remove the "Triple Stuffed" line, but other than that I think I put it as carefully as I posisbly could wihtout using any of the dreaded words you can't say on telelvision. hell I didn't even use the word SEX!
View from the outside.
The USS Perugia is transporting a shipment of Pentotriticale from Avogadro I to Boyle VII with a stop at Carnot IV. It's a boring ride once again, nothing happens and even the intergalactic news aren't much fun. Still five days to go at Warp 8 until a looong vacation.
Suddenly the subspace sensors set off a major alert. Seconds later the warp field collapses and the ship comes to a hard stop.
"W-w-what was that???"
"I have no idea, boss. Must have been somekinda subspace anomaly."
"Here? This is one of the quietest areas of known space?!"
"Yes...Hm...According to the sensors some really large object crossed our path two lightyears away at a very high speed. Grrr, the resulting shockwave kicked us out of warp. I have no idea what it was."
"At least we're not damaged. Send a report to the HQ. They should investigate it."
"Ok. Coffee anyone?"
The USS Perugia resumes its course. No more complications.
Yes.
No matter what universe you're from, that kind of information is just about too much...
Anyway, do you think we should send out a scout to see what's going on with the bad guys? I could go myself...
Rocket's experimental ship would be perfect for a mission like that... the cloaks and things... I think it even has an external holosystem, so it can be disguised if needed...
A pokemon on a bicycle delivers an urgent message to Mr.Lopez.
Quote:[X] send pig^Hcs
The couch awaits you at 2200 today. We all will listen very carefully.
Sincerely,
Dr. Zikmunt Tribble, Assistant Counselor
The Spidership continues on to its destination at maximum warp. One of the bridge crew detects something. He reports it to Lt. Insane who is currently in charge of the bridge.
Sir, I'm detecting a ship on an intercept course. Bearing 178 mark 009. They're coming up behind us.
Insane: Can you identify them.
The officer nods.
Yes sir. It's O'kakian. Their weapons are ready. They're closing.
Insane stands.
Red Alert! Shields up. Senior officers to the bridge.
Note: Sorry about the unauthorized Insane use. Hopefully it wasn't too much.
Communications Yellowshirt: Sir, we are being hailed.
Captain Milkshake: On screen.
The message comes on screen. It is a man in 20th Century dress.
Ok, you are all in trouble. Meetings and more meetings don't bring in the ratings! Now that Lopez and the triplets thing, that'll rack them up! Start bringing in those ratings or you're cancelled!
Why is the Evil K-NIT Executive wearing a dress?
Because he's Eeeeeeeeeeeeeevil!
That's your answer to everything, Murray.
So he wants to raise ratings, eh? Time for our secret weapon!
*gasp* You don't mean...?
Yes! Unleash the scantily-clad, over-endowed Voluptuous Valkyrie Vixens of Vegas V!!!
(In another holding cell the shapeshifting spy, still disguised as Sailor Evil because the Evil Executive wouldn't let them cast another actor in the part, says to the GROSS 3,)
Oh, hi! How are you? I'm here for spying. What are you in for?
(They tell him)
Wow. Got your asses kicked by a bunch of nobodies. That's gotta be a blow to the old ego?
(Looks at Shooting Star)
Are you Hamburger Pattie?
"No. Shooting Star!"
Oh. Never heard of you then.
Anyway I think we're gonna be stuck in here for a while. Do you guys like showtunes? I know the whole score to Dinsey's Ugly & The Creature.
Shadow Senshi enters the brig and sees the spy disguised as Sailor Evil singing Dinsey songs
Now that's surreal.
As she turns to go a helpful yellowshirt says, "You came all the way down here just to say that?"
But it's my only line!
You should better leave immediately because I will now start singing too! Yes! Y'all in the cell there can prevent it only by telling me everything I might want to know.
MiMiMi
To the person with the comment about the dress: YOU'RE FIRED!!!
To the person with the vixens idea: Great idea! Go join the writers!
"He wouldn't."
"He couldn't."
"He shouldn't."
Gene leaned back in his chair and sighed contently. Then his eyes glazed over and he just stared at nothing. This lasted for but a moment and then he returned to normal.
We're prepairing to stop. I should probably start getting my things together.
Gene stood up.
You'll want to come with me, I assume.
Suddenly, Quincy K. Rocket appears, standing next to Furby.
Hey, Furb? If you're going to sing them, want me to accompany you....
He pulls out his famed platinum coated titanium alloy spoons
....on these?
he smiles, and pulls out a pair of Anti-Furby Ear Protectors.
Muwhahahahahahahaha!!
"I must warn you, torture via Furby music would be a violation of 56 different Sentient Rights Amendments of the Terran Declaration. We may be prisoners, but we will not allow a travesty of justice against our persons."
The bridge doors swoosh open, and Milkshake, Adon and Rikard step out.
"..will turn them over to the Atlantis, it'll be safer. I wonder if they'll give us half as much trouble as West did."
Rikard: "Let's hope not."
"Right. Meanwhile...where's Rocket? Didn't he come with us?"
Adon: "No."
"Where's Furby? Milkshake to Furby."
"Cheep cheep! Communications suspended by Furby to prevent aural damage to crew." The computer reports.
"Not again!" Milkshake grates as he dashes back into the turbolift.
Clearing his throat.
Well, Betamax, should I tickle you then?
But anyway, if I recall correctly, you three wanted to give us some more information about some very important things. May I remind you of - this?
A holographic playback from the last scene in the transporter room starts, viewed from an odd angle.
ShootingStar shouts "NO!"
"Captain, you must not be allowed--" Angstrom begins.
"Captain, we can offer--" Betamax starts, and then all three of them are beamed away.
So, what exactly can you offer and what must not be allowed?
"That is only for the Captain's ears."
What happened to Marissa and Steven?
Lopez and Alex head back towards the fighter bay to get ready for the (hopefully) forthcoming battle. Lopez turns to face Alex in the tubrolift. "Look, Alex, I'm sorry I dumped all that emtional baggage on you. I had abslutely no right to drag into you into my relationship issues." Alex nods. "Well, I guess as long as, Nancy? Was that her name? Anyway, as long as she doesn't show up on the Spidership all of a sudden, I think you'll be OK."
-
Back on Earth at the DoS, a man gives a woman her orders. "Why me?" she asks. "Simple. The galaxy is in a period of political instability that could end tomorrow, but it could also last for years. And all the latest actions against our neighboring races by corrupt ESG oficials and TerrSec have only made this worse. Plus those Sheep Ship that intercepted the SPdiership earlier have got a lot of the denziens of the Milky Way on edge. Paranoia is high across the entire galaxy. it hasn't bene this bad in centuries. The LICC is going to need a politcal officer. Someone to keep the LICC from doing ANYTHING that might lead to soem of the younger psace faring empires from seeing as us as agressive territory grbabing totalitarian fanatics," the man replies. The woman salutes. "I won't let you down Dad," she says. The man smiles. "I know you won't Nancy."
-
"Uhm, Flight Commander, why did you shudder violently just now?" Alex asks with concern. "I don't know," Lopez says in confusion.
At that point, Lopez and Alex part ways as Alex heads towards Rocket's lab. Soon, Alex is at the controls of the experimental ship, waiting for orders to go.
Only for the Captain's ears? Well, I can get them for you in a cigar box but I don't think he'll be happy abou it. Or do you want rather to talk about the predominance of VHS in the late 20th century and the years of DVD that followed? What about you others? "Come fly with me" anybody?
In the background several Pokemon are already preparing a sinister looking organ for the use in a simulated thunderstorm. JSBach rulez.
Rikard looks up at the blinking red lights.
Uh sir, it looks like we're at Red Alert.
The ship shudders as it is hit by O'kakian weapons fire.
Yep. I'd say we are.
Great. Bridge to Commander Milkshake.
An image of Adon appeared before Commander Milkshake as he ran down the corridor towards Detention Cell 3.
We are under attack. Please report to the bridge.
The screen vanished.
I guess you're in charge until Milkshake gets back, Rikard. Shall I return fire?
The O'kakian ship closes in on the Spidermobile, firing torpedoes as it approaches. On the bridge, Adon moves to Tactical while Rikard sits in the command chair after Milkshake had left the bridge.
Crewman Yates: Aft shields are down to 65%. Should we drop out of warp to engage.
Rikard shakes his head.
Rikard: No, maintain course. Aft torpedoes, fire.
The torpedoes fly from the Spidership's aft launchers, impacting in several places. They have little effect.
Yeah Adon. Continue firing. Scan for weaknesses in their shielding. Do we have anymore iron weaponry?
Yes, sir!
Steam irons, curling irons, 5 irons, shootin' irons, irony, iron pills & an iron lung all waiting to be shoved into a torpedo tube and fired.
Also the replicators are still working so we can create more, if need be.
ummm, Ratliff Fan? Where have you been? Marissa & Steven's last post was on LICC3 XII, Monday, March 25, 2002 - 06:03 am. Didn't you notice they've been gone for over a year?
Well, for all those interested, Marissa Marrisa was offered a captaincy of one the ships in the Ffiltar fleet, she accepted and Steven went with her as her second-in-command.
Also the story of their first mission will be a LICCFic when the author has time to finish it.
(Millions of voices cry out in horror and agony and pray that KAM never has time to finish it.)
Ooh! Ooh! Do I, uh, do I get to be a pirate again?
Arrr! I went t'pirate school, matey! But I flunked out on account o' I couldn't pass the three Arrrs!
In a turbolift on the way to the bridge.
Computer, increase turbolift speed.
Ack-
The ship shudders quite badly, and the turbolift lights dim.
We're taking a pasting. Milkshake to bri--
Outside, the O'kakian vessel energizes several disruptor arrays, firing in one combined burst. The beam smashes into the Spidermobile's port side.
The turbolift stops, its lights go out. The computer squawks several times then becomes silent.
Oh no. Computer. Computer!
cheep...chsss...
It's then that Milkshake notices the three adorable kids stuck in the turbolift with him.
Oh no...
Ensign Snewtipantz hands Ensign First some branding irons and an iron skillet.
"All right squad let's move!" Lopez hops into the cokcpit of his Banshee, and seconds later 12 of the most advanced starfighters in the galaxy are outside and moving towards the enemy vessel. "All right ladies and germs, time to test our new Hellbore Maneuver."
Mr. Lopez, the fighters do not launch unless ordered, are we clear? We're at warp right now, the fighters can't launch at warp.
Josh, I'm acivating all the weapons we have!
Jackson, at the secondary Tactical station, presses the "activate all weapons" button. Weapons of all sorts begin sprouting from the ship until it begins to look like a porcupine. The legs extend and point towards the enemy ship, ready to fire torpedos.
Think we have enough weapons aboard?
Yeah, sure Lieutenant. If you think that being a pirate will help us defeat that ship.
Looks at Adon and Dupree
Yeah, go ahead and fire them.
"Hey, doesn't Rikard know that the Spidership transformed itself into a pirate ship once, to defeat the O'kakians?"
"Yeah, you're right! Geez, what a pill..."
Before the attack, Delgado boards a turbolift bound for engineering. Aboard are three redshirts who are all quite happy to see him (no, not like that! Geez...) as they figure his presence means they will reach their destinations unscathed. However, the turbrolift never makes it to Engineering, as the ship goes to Red Alert first, and Delgado changes the destination to the bridge. Like Milkshake's turbolift, Delgado's too comes to a complete stop. The redshirts look noticably less-confident.
"Don't worry, folks, I can get us out of here!" Delgado activates his light-saber and cuts a hole through the ceiling of the turbolift and gestures for the redshirts to crawl out ahead of him. Unfortunately, in the time it took him to cut the hole, the redshirts had all expired from chronic worry.
"Oh... well... carry on, then!"
Delgado climbs out of the turbolift and starts ascending the ladder. However, before long he has encountered another turbolift blocking his path. He knocks on the bottom with his fist.
"Hey, anyone in there?"
So are the fighters out and fighting or not?
Does everybody on this stupid ship carry a light-saber? When did they establish that Delgado was a jedi?
Nah. You don't see Rocket Ranger with one or...the viewer continues on to list every single main and secondary character (past and present) who doesn't have/never had a lightsaber, putting his friend to sleep out of shear boredom.
childish voices "...xty-eight bottles of beer on the wall, sixty-eight bottles of beer..."
Knock knock knock, Delgado calls
Milkshake's voice "YES! We're in here!"
"..pass them around, sixty-seven bottles of beer on the wall..."
Gene and Keiran were walking towards the hanger where Gene's ship was docked when an explosion shook the ship nearly knocking them off of their feet. They started running towards the hanger.
Gene's earring lit up, and a voice came out of it.
Arthor: "Gene, the Spidership is under atack."
Can you tell who they are?
Arthor: "Ship designs match those used by the O'kakians."
Any O'kakian fish out there?
Arthor: "Stand by... There are three O'kakians currently wanted by the Terran government. However, my sensors cannot penetrate their shields, so I cannot tell if they are with this group or not."
Gene pulled out a pair of mirrored sunglasses and put them on.
Show me. And keep your sensors peeled for those fish. If you spot them, let me know.
Wanted O'kakians? War criminals, I'll bet. You won't get your bounty if the Spidermobile destroys--
(The ship jars again, and power to the hangar bay abruptly fails. This would not be so bad, if not for the fact that the atmospheric containment forcefield dissipates, and Windward and Morgan, standing at the personnel door of the hangar, are close enough.)
Gene and Keiran start getting blown towards open space. The door leading to the rest of the ship closed and sealed itself to prevent the rest of the ship from decompressing. But before they could get blown out entirely, they vanished in a transporter beam.
They materialized inside a cramped cockpit. There was a single seat in the front of the cockpit with various flight controls, as well as other devices around it. The room was bare, except for a hatch in the floor, and a closed door aft. A large bag hung on the ceiling. Above the cockpit was a strange display.
Gene sighed in relief and sat down in the only seat.
Thanks, Arthor. I'm sorry about the seating, but space is at a premium around here.
Arthor spoke up, but his voice came out of the display above the cockpit.
Arthor: "No problem, Gene. I presume that this is Mr Keiran Morgan of the LICC."
You're right.
Gene gestured towards the display.
Kerian, meet Arthor, my ship's AI and my current partner.
Despite all of the firepower that is pouring out of the Spidership's weaponry, the O'kakian ship holds up surprisingly well. On the bridge, Rikard stands near Insane's console, looking over at the information that is scrolling.
Rikard: It looks like we're dealing with one of the O'kakian fleet's smaller capital ships. A destroyer. We should have blasted it out of space by now. It looks like it's been pretty modified. It can take more punishment than we thought. Martens, take us out of warp. Adon, continue firing. Get those iron weapons ready. Time to see if those work anymore. Rikard to Lopez. You can go ahead and launch once we drop out of warp. Be careful out there.
The Spidership drops out of warp, followed seconds later by the O'kakian ship.
Because the O'kakian ships are (or were) vulnerable to iron, it is standadrd practise to pretend to be pirates firing cannons whenever fighting them.
"Okay, Commander, I'm going to have to ask you and every body else in the turbolift to move on the other... er... that is, you hear where I'm knocking? Make sure no one's standing there!"
Delgado pounds on the turbolift for a while, then once again uses his lightsaber to carve open a hole in the floor, which he crawls through.
"Hello, there, Commander!" Delgado notices the kids for the first time. "Who's this?"
The disembodied hand reaches out once again, and smacks Lt. Delgado's author several times for failing to use the correct name while posting.
In the fighter bay, the experimental ship rises and begins to head for the exterior wall of the bay. Lopez begins screaming at Alex to stop, but in an instant, the ship goes THROUGH the wall and out the other side.
Alex to Rocket, the phase mode works! Grant, I'll try to get as close to the ship as I can to deploy the Hellbores. Dupree out.
With that, the ship cloaks. Soon after, fighters begin pouring out of the O'kak ship, and the experimental ship decloaks again.
Looks like the bad guys have come out to play. But we like to play rough, don't we, guys?
Lopez blinks stupidly. "When did they put Hellbores on the experimental fighter? Alex, the Hellbores are on the Hornet fighters remember?" Plevyak's voice enters Lopez's ear through his helmet comm. "That boy definitely needs a vacation."
On the bridge, a console lights up in a shower of sparks as another torpedo impacts with the ship. Rikard hears someone yell out,
Aft port shields are down!
Rikard: Manuever that part of the ship away from that O'kakian vessel. Bridge to Engineering, we need those shields back up before those O'kak fighters reach the ship.
Another Officer: Sir, I'm reading multiple transports. We're being boarded.
Rikard: Perfect.
Rikard's words are drowned out as the Intruder Alert alarms sound.
Grant, there's a O'kak fighter on your tail. I've got it.
With that, Alex swoops down, and in a hail of weapons fire, destroys the enemy fighter. He then notices two ships approaching from either side. Acting quickly, Alex heads towards one of the ships, still being followed by the second one. The two ships play chicken, until Alex can clearly see the face of the O'kak pilot in the opposing fighter. Instead of colliding, the experimental ship passes right through the O'kakian fighter, causing the pilot to look behind him in confusion. In that moment, however, the second pilot, as confused as the first, collides with the first ship and both are destroyed.
This phase mode is kind of fun...
They are...
(the voice caused Milkshake & Delgado to both jump, fortunately Delgado caught himself again before he fell down the turbolift shaft. Sparrow47 on the other hand... ;-)
Masters Logan & Fran Tacoman, and their friend Quito Power.
(Milkshake asks Snooty Butler Man where he came from)
England originally.
(pause)
Oh. You mean just now?
I've been here the whole time babysitting the children.
(Milkshake asks why he didn't see him before)
A perfect Butler strives to be unobtrusive & unnoticed until necesary, sir.
Besides I was afraid you would call for a meeting if you knew another adult was here.
(a man wearing a red sleeveless tunic and skant, white boots and a black belt with an M on the buckle appears)
I am Magnus, Robot Fighter from the city of NorAm in the 40th century. I've journeyed back in time because I hear you have a problem with... Robot!
(he lunges toward Robot Redshirt who had just entered the room and karate chops him to pieces)
Oh! You say he's a member of the crew? Whoops! sorry 'bout that. I see a robot and sometimes just can't help myself. *gulp*
(Magnus returns to the 40th century.)
(a helpful blueshirt pushes Robot Redshirt's reset button and all his pieces fly back together)
Xam! It's tough being comic relief.
(unfortunately a crewman mistakenly thinks he is made out of iron, shoves him into a torpedo tube and launches him at the O'Kakian vessel)
Onto the bridge comes Shadow Senshi, wearing, in addition to her normal costume, an eyepatch, a pirate hat and strapped to her knee a wooden leg, and waving a plastic cutlass
Avast ye mateys! We got some scurvy dogs off the port bow! Let's blast them out of space! Arrrrrr!!!
She pauses as various members of the bridge stare at her like she's insane
What? Have I gone too far?
Is the wooden leg named Smith?
No... you look good in the pirate gear.
"allright squad, form up. Alex, don't try anythign dumb. Just do the job and come home. Hornet squad, gte behind us. We'll tkae care of the defneisve guns so you can use your Hellbores. The Spidership is kepeing the long range weapons on the enemy vessel busy, but keep your eyes open folks. Let's go!"
Ah.. polymorph weapon.. good.
Soon enough, another O'kak fighter pulls up behind Alex, who heads for the O'kak ship. The enemy pilot still behind him, firing all the way. He then sets the Polymorph weapon to "iron" and fires, causing the enemy fighter to become pure iron, inside and out. At the last minute, Alex pulls up from the O'kak ship, narrowly avoiding the shields. The fighter is not so lucky. Now made of iron, it goes right through the shields, crashing into and exploding with the O'kaks, causing their ship major damage.
How's that for some fancy flying? Now, whether that was dumb or not...
"Charmed."
(Keiran looks out of the transparent viewshield of Windward's ship, noticing several glittering transporter beams appearing in the airless bay. When the beams fade, several hulking figures in pressure armor begin to fan out and inspect the hangar.)
"We've got unwelcome visitors."