Ohhhhhhhh, am I too late to help out?
Fortunately the guys tried to cheer her up
STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION:
------
\b{LasT to,me on LICC...}
[summary goes here. supermodels naked people frangelica coming back new people and no taconator for some reason]
\i{song quote or something}
Wakey wakey Mr. Delgado.
Meanwhile, TFH 'feels' a familiar 'voice' inside his head.
"I've decided what to do. Open a secure channel back to the Engineworld so I can tell you.
Artsy, looking just slightly the worse for wear due to her (off-screen) part in finishing up the supermodel fight, stalks up to Keiran and puts an arm around his shoulders. Pointedly, she gives Enesku only a passing glance; but her neon orange annoyance flashes to delighted pinkish-gold as she sees what use Keiran has made of her art supplies. "I guess we really are a team!"
Quito snuggles up to Artsy, tugging on her hand. The image of a black-cloaked woman with a familiar freckled face makes the artist grin. "Frangelica! Let's go say hi before she takes off again."
(The Funky Horror opens a secure channel)
Hailing frequencies open, oh, fearless leader.
We won?
Good. (she wraps her cape around her and starts to walk off) I'm going to get dressed then.
Guys: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
(gives them a viscious glare) I have a phaser and I'm not afraid to use it.
A buxom ensign wearing a cowboy hat and three paper cups comes into the hallway
Ohhhhhhhh, am I too late to help out?
Fortunately the guys tried to cheer her up
"Wha- the new board's here already?" Delgado sits up groggily.
"I'm afraid so, Lieutenant," Holodoc confirms. "Fortunately, you're good to go."
"Well, thanks." Delgado exits Sickbay just to see Ensign Cups and her entourage pass by. He just stands there, blinking.
"Y'know, they told me this place was weird, but...damn."
This was tiring, and this outfit may not be much, but it's really tight. I'm going to cool off, bathing and swimming on the holodeck.
"I've found the existence of a dimension very nearly parallel to ours, with one notable exception. Humans never developed supernormal powers. We can finally carve out a place for ourselves, and then, when our power base is secure...I want to return to the K.I.L.L. dimension. I'm feeling a bit homesick, sonny.
It will take nearly a day to open the dimensional portal large enough for the Engineworld and what's left of our fleet. Let these powered humans blow themselves up, we'll go after easier prey. What do you say?
Breaking out of a conversation with Mika, who acknowledges that he yearns for the innocence and carefreeness of childhood and the primal bond between mother and child.
Well, if you're sure then. No harm done.
Frangelica creates another small normality field, which she backhands towards Mika.
Um, you may want to sit down for this...!
Frangelica snaps her fingers, and Mika reverts to an extraordinarily cute baby girl. Libby stops crying with a gasp of joy and clasps the child to her chest.
"Oh, how can I ever thank you???"
Frangelica opens her mouth to respond but changes her mind.
"Don't worry about it. Let's get a couple of yellowshirts with a shuttle to drive you back."
Just at this point, a hidden communication device on Frangelica's belt begins to wail.
Oh, no! Not now! You've been so good! We're almost done!
The wail grows louder, and Frangelica, with a deep sigh, opens a small subspace envelope, bends over into it, and pulls out a very small howling infant.
Shhh, shhh, Imma's here, Imma's here. Yes, I know, waking up is hard to do.
Meanwhile, Milkshake has been jogging down the corridor to meet Frangelica and accompanying good guys, and approaches within earshot just as the crying starts. When Frangelica retrieves the baby, a slight thump is heard from the good Commander, the result of a certain jaw falling open and hitting the plastizon comfort lining of a certain helmet.
"I guess we really are a team!" Artsy beams, glowing a rosy golden hue.
Morgan laughs. "I haven't had this much fun in a while.", he admits.
Then Quito comes up, seemingly out of nowhere as is usual for the small, quiet child, and takes Artsy's hand. A faint, faint buzz is the only thing Morgan hears, as the sending is not directed to him, but Artsy smiles.
"Frangelica! Let's go say hi before she takes off again!" Artsy says.
Morgan is a bit surprised he hadn't sensed her, but remembers that his Force powers have been long-dulled by the incompatible dimension he lives in. Even so, he grins. "Let's go!"
A redshirt passing by Delgado says for no reason
Domo Amagado, Mr. Delgado.... or something like that... Oh dear...
The redshirt expands and explodes into a lot of confetti.
Your wish is my command, dad.
(he shuts off the channel to Engineworld, opens a channel to the remaining fleet and orders them all to return to Engineworld. Then alone with his thoughts he wonders what to do next as things have not worked out all like he had expected)
Meanwhile, on Korania V, two shady looking characters are making some sort of transaction. The two `businessmen' seem to be nervous and keep glancing around to see if anyone is watching. Suddenly a man appears from out of nowhere, holding a blaster. He is a human male in his late 20's with short, spiky brown hair and blue eyes, dressed in a blue shirt and pants with a gray and white circular patch on the right shoulder of the shirt and some sort of insignia over the left breast pocket, a silver metal belt with several buttons on it, black work gloves, and black boots. *
I'll take that, thank you very much.
The two men start to run off in separare directions, but the man sighs and shoots one in the leg, causing him to fall down. He chases after the other one, catches up to him, and stops him with a flying kick. He holds out his empty hand while keeping the blaster trained on his quarry.
The micro-disk, please.
The man hands over the disk, but doesn't look too happy about it.
Thank you very much.
He examines the microdisk, then disappears in a transporter beam.
* Last seen in LICC 3, Part XXXV
Answering Enesku.
You do that. I would join you but I'm going to see Frangelica. No, never mind. I probably wouldn't.
Rikard heads for the bridge.
Whoops, I've come in too early. Sorry, I'll get back to my marks and--
the redshirt fals through a trap-door filled with rabid K-NIT executives and is exploited to death
Actually, I was intending on skinny-dipping myself...
(leaves to the holodeck, then realises with horror that she forgot to check if any Furbys were listening)
They were.
But which is more dangerous, the Furbys or Enesku?
(Cunningly disguised as a piece of space debris, the ship, Novaquest, lurked near the Spidermobile. On the bridge of the Novaquest the controls were 'manned' by what appeared to be a fox, a goose, a chicken, an octopus and a ten-foot tall giant ape thing. In actuality these were simply forms taken on by members of a shapechanging race known as the Wuteverz. (Frankly they had gotten a little bored just waiting and lurking and tried to make things more interesting by taken on different forms to do their jobs.) From out of the captain's room came the captain (duh) in the form of a black snakeman.)
At last! The moment has come! Our spy on the Spidermobile has just revealed that this is the perfect moment to attack.
Crewmember !: What? Because of all the damage it's taken?
Crewmember @: Because the crew has been wiped out by by those Supermodels?
Crewmember #: Because the crew & the Supermodels have wiped each other out?
No! Well, not entirely. The ship is damaged & the Supermodels defeated, BUT... the reason why now is a good time to attack is because... the crew are falling all over themselves to say hello to Frangelica!
Crewmember !: What?!? Frangelica's back?
Crewmember @: Wow! I've always wanted to meet her!
Crewmember #: I'm gonna get her autograph!
(And the entire bridge crew turn themselves into blue & yellowshirts and beam over to the Spidermobile to meet Frangelica.)
Wait! Wait! Wait! We have an attack to mount! Come back here you worthless fanblobs!
(The captain slumps into his chair)
Typical! Our one chance for glory ruined. A chance to make the Wuteverz a race to be reckoned with down the waste chute because it would interfere with the chance to meet the great Frangelica. *sigh*
Oh, well. If you can't beat them (He changes shape into a high-ranking blueshirt) join them. (He grabs his autograph book and transports over)
The other Earth ships had rendezvoued with the Spidermobile and had resumed their flight toward Engineworld.
The Funky Horror and the other surviving members of Taconator's fleet had landed on Engineworld.
The forces required to open a world-sized dimensional portal had been put into motion. Sensors on the various ships detected that something massive was going on and they moved to put a stop to it.
It looked simple to both sides. Earth forces felt they could just blast Engineworld with everything they had. Taconator just needed his surviving forces to hold the Earth ships off long enough to create the portal.
Then, Hyperspace portals bagan opening up all over and out flew thousands of space pirates intent on plundering Engineworld of all it's technology and preventing anyone from destroying it or removing it from this universe.
Dramatic music plays.
Hold on... I can do this bit...
frantically plays the same difficult chord over and over again, to no avail
DAMMIT! DAM-DAM-DAMMIT! I could do this in the practice room!
gets up and stomps on the ground so hard he crashes through the floorboards and pierces his skull on a strategically-placed oboe.
Begins playing Yakkity Sax and speeds up the film.
er, um... let's just say this took place before Plot-ot-ot Twist-ist-ist or very early into it
(Eve makes her way to the bridge)
What is with all these yellow & blueshirts? I swear I've never seen most of these guys?
Nice to meet you again, Frangelica!
Frangelica: uh, you too. (she says not recognizing this girl she only met briefly once before under a different identity)
(Eve backs off to give other people a chance) Oh, Kawaii! She remembered me!
Just before the pirates come out of Hyperspace
(Back in her uniform Eve heads toward Zen Forward, since she doesn't have battle station to go to, when the Shadowrealm opened up in front of her)
Oh, boy. This again.
(She entered)
What is it this time?
The Abyss: When you became a Dark Knight of the Abyss* Lord Smoke told you of the traitor in the ranks that betrayed him and other Dark Knights?
(Thinks back) Yes, he did.
The Abyss: The traitor still lives. However he has finally left himself open to an attack. You are my only surviving Dark Knight. Will you go and avenge those he betrayed?
Yeah, but... well, there's this battle I'm in...
The Abyss: The two are connected. Dark Vapor has sent his forces to this region for plunder. Now he is alone and vulnerable to attack.
Dark Vapor? That sounds familiar.
The Abyss: Yes. His infamy is such that twisted variations of his name are in the legends of many planets.
Okay. Does he have any weaknesses?
(The Abyss tells Eve what is known of Dark Vapor)
* LICC3 XIV
But which is more dangerous, the Furbys or Enesku?
Their children of course.
But... At... What.......... Cost?!
(suddenly has a coughing fit and chokes to death on a piece of poorly-chewed scenery)
Delgado gets caught up in the mass stampede of crewmembers rushing to the bridge to greet Frangelica. Of course, he doesn't really know what all the fuss is about.
"Where's everyone going?" he asks a group of salivating redshirts.
"Captain Frangelica's back!" is the only reply he manages to elicit.
"Okay... who's that?" he sighs whilst being swept into a turbolift.
Jadlad and the Brady triplets are knocked to the ground by more stampeding crewmembers. Afterwards they make their way to the extremely crowded bridge.
Jadlad: What the?!
Addresses Shadow Senshi very politely, seeing as she's the only one of the bridge besides Tacoman who's actually addressed her.
Could you remind me...?
Shadow Senshi disappears behind a stampede of nameless extras, who, despite their enthusiasm, never actually interact with Frangelica either. Frangelica's baby, totally swamped by sensory input, stops crying and stares.
Wow. My reputation precedes me. Whispers... Tacoman? Do I know any of these people? And is Commander Milkshake around here somewhere?
Jackson: Which Tacoman? Me or Alex?
In any case, you have to remember that you have always been one of the most popular people on the ship. Ok everybody, would those who don't personally know Frangelica please idenfity yourselves for her?
Or maybe even identify?
How can the bridge hold so many people anyway?
Just then, the turbolift doors open, letting out two scpipts, a scpipt supervisor, a strange man with bushy eyebrows and cigar, a curly haired guy who never talks, and a third odd man with a bad Italian accent.
Gaucho: So this is the bridge, eh? Where's the water that's supposed to be under it? You try being funny when you've been bitten by a scpipt...
Oh! Oh! I'll idenfity myself first!
Starts to idenfity himself, but winds up creating a dimensional vortex, which swallows him, and then disappears.
On the other side of the bridge, the other turbolift opens. Rikard nearly walks out but stops when he sees the large crowd.
Wow. Deck 3.
The doors close, only to open seconds later with a different car, unloading even more people.
Suddenly, a strange-looking ship appears out of nowhere - either it just warped in or dropped a cloaking field - who knows?
On the bridge of the ship, a lone figure, cloaked in darkness so he can't be seen very well, sits in the command chair, while several crewmembers surround him. One is an insectoid with green chitin and black multi-faceted eyes, and another is feline-like humanoid with obvious cybernetic enhancements - the entire left side of his face, except the jaw - is mechanical. The rest appear to be human.
The figure in the command chair speaks.
Have they detected us yet?
One of the human-looking crewmembers sits with his eyes closed, and concentrates. A few seconds later, he opens his eyes - which are solid silver in color - no obvious pupils or irises.
Crewmember: No. It seems they are all...distracted...by something. Concentrating on something...or someone...on board their vessel.
Commander: Excellent. V'tor, fire the Quantum Torpedoes!
V'tor (the insectoid): As you wish, sir.
The insectoid presses several buttons on the console before him, and a barrage of Quantum Torpedoes fires from the vessel, headed straight for the spidership!
Quote:Suddenly, a strange-looking ship appears out of nowhere - either it just warped in or dropped a cloaking field - who knows?
Unfortunately the Insectoid didn't realize that between his ship and the Spidermobile was the cloaked Furby ship and the quantum torpedoes explode against it instead of the Spidermobile.
Roger that, Spidermobile, this is the USS Token-Redship standing by waiting to assist you if necessary.
Suddenly the Redship hits a cloaked piece of space junk from the remnants of the Cloaked Furby Ship, knocking it for a loop before blowing up in a bright incandescent cloud of anti-matter. From the remnants of the Token-Redship fly several Redlifeboats which explode harmlessly.
A cloaked ship, eh?
V'tor, on my mark fire another volley of Quantum Torpedoes, then activate the particle accelerator cannons.
He looks at the feline-cyborg crewman.
Steelmane, prepare your men. We'll send in a strike team immediately.
Steelmane nods his head in acknowledgement, stands up and exits the bridge.
V'tor....FIRE!!!
The enemy vessel launches another barrage of Quantum Torpedoes, which slam into the side of the spidership.
Whew! Glad I escaped that Redship! She was a fine Redship, with a fine crew of Redshirts...
Hello... what's that big round thing coming towards me?
Muffled screams come from his space suit as Redshirt is crushed to death by an unnaturally-speeding Doomed Redplanet which then proceeds to break up and hurtle into the nearest Doomed Redstar for no apparent reason. The Doomed Redstar then goes nova.
The enemy vessel launches another barrage of Quantum Torpedoes, which slam into the side of the spidership
Ohhhhh, that'll leave a dent. Funny that they didn't go off.
Yeah. Must have been duds.
This time, the bridge lights fail to flash or even flicker, and instead go off for good, leaving the command center lit by the increasingly frenetic graphics on the system consoles. Milkshake holds on to the bridge rail as the entire ship shudders.
"All available power to shields! Tactical, who's attacking us?"
Alex rushes over to Tactical and checks the sensors.
Raising shields! As for our attackers, I can't really tell. Something on that ship is confusing the sensors.
Should I fire back, or open hailing frequencies?
Meanwhile, in a far-off Doomed RedGalaxy, a mysterious alien baby is seen escaping a frantically doomed star system in the confines of a spaceship. The little baby has nothing but a glowing red cape to protect him from harm.
Goo-Goo! Aggagagaaaab-gbabaa-gaggaaaaarg-ababaa.... (gurgle) oopsi....
Suddenly, the baby is seen hurtling towards a familiar blue-green planet where the rocket burns up and crashes somewhere in deep-south USA, circa 1936. An adult couple wanders towards the wreckage to find the scorched shell of a little baby boy...
Jonathan: Hey Martha! We're eatin' tonight!
All this while, a faint reddish glow illuminates the night sky as, far away, a Doomed RedGalaxy peacefully explodes...
HEY! The people of Earth saw the red light of the distant RedGalaxy of the future almost immediately! Then it's true... Red light DOES travel faster than normal light! I was right! I WAS RIGHT ALL THESE YEARS!!!! WHA-HAAAAAAAGH!
accidentally knocks over a test tube causing a massive explosion that completely annihilates his RedUniverse
Onboard the enemy ship.....
Someone PLEASE check and see if we have any more Quantum Torpedoes that AREN'T duds!!!
The ship's commander grabs a passing crewmember and wrings his neck just for the heck of it.
V'tor: Sir, the Quantum Torpedoes weren't duds, after all. I just did a systems check, and it seems that something is wrong with the launcher itself.
Commanding officer: Drat!! In that case, fire the particle accelerator cannons at once!
V'tor: Yes, sir.
V'tor presses some buttons and the ship's four particle accelerator cannons all fire at the same time, the blasts impacting the side of the spidership and causing serious structural damage. However, the hull isn't breeched.
C.O.: Again!
V'tor looks down at the control panel
V'tor: I....can't, sir.
C.O. (hopping mad): What's wrong now?!
V'tor: It seems that the cannons' circuitry fused for some reason. It'll take several hours to repair.
C.O.: Dangblasted piece of junk ship! Pauses Helm, get us out of here.
Helmsman: Destination?
C.O.: Lets go back to Tyron III. I want to have a little....talk....with that salesman who sold us this worthless rust-bucket. Go to Warp Two.
The ship's engines power up and a few seconds later it goes to warp.
On Deck 3...
Oh great. Red Alert. Under attack I suppose. Computer!
The bird appears
Computer: Hello!
Rikard: Is the bridge clear of all of the people seeing Frangelica yet?
Computer: Nope.
Rikard: How many crewmembers are you detecting up there.
Computer: There are 47, now 58, now 71-
Rikard: Thanks computer. Beam all crew to battlestations please.
Computer: Acknowledged.
On the bridge, most of the large crowd are beamed away to other parts of the ship. Unfortunately, two redshirts are beamed into bulkheads, one into space, and one into the phaser array as it fires. Rikard returns to the turbolift and walks onto the bridge seconds later to see the attacking ship warp away.
Well, that ended quickly. Damage?
Oh, and hey there Frangelica. It's been a while. How have you been?
It's not over yet.
Milkshake points at the viewscreen, which shows Taconator's mechanized world spraying high-powered gamma blasts in all directions. The Spidermobile and Atlantis are just within the planet's weapons range, and a few energy bursts just miss the Earth ships. On the far side of the planet, they can see a huge fleet of unknown ships approaching Taconator's world.
I don't know who else wants a piece of our friend, but one thing's for sure, we can't let Taconator get away. I need five times our usual complement of repair nanites replicated, and set to work immediately. We're going to finish this. Pete, hail the Atlantis and tell them we're going to attack in a matter of minutes.
Repair nanites? Why, in my day, we had to fix everything by hand. We even had to hammer plating back into place with our foreheads. And forget about fixing an engine problem in a few hours. Why, we would be lucky if we could even get the durn thing to run, let alone go to warp, in six weeks. We'd be floating in space, helpless as all get out and bored to tears. And we liked it!
He exits the bridge, muttering to himself.
Delgado had been in the turbolift when Rikard gave the transporter order, and was thus surprised when everyone but himself disapeared from the car. He arrives on the bridge somewhat puzzled, but since it seems like everyone on the bridge is doing all right, he decides to assume that the situation is "normal" and no one has to be worried about a group of malevolent aliens transporting the crew away. Thus relieved, he once again assumes the Spare Crewmember Station.
"Silly people everywhere. Some ignore us, some turn to dust, some scratch the paint of our ship's hull and some even attack us with a planet. Tststs..."
"Well, we could destroy this planet and the approaching fleet with one shot, boss!"
"Nah, that would damage our friends here too. Just let our auxiliary weapons speak for themselves. They are loud enough.
And hail the Spidership again!"
I think the whole Redship idea is silly. It's one idea taken too far already. And Redplanets? Redgalaxies?? RedUniverse?!?! Oh purleeeeeze...
suddenly collapses down, with a "squelch," into a molten pile of oozing sarcasm and self-loathing
Artsy and Quito, with Keiran just behind them, arrive on the bridge as the red alert begins--and ends.
Artsy shrugs, urgent blue sliding into grayish-yellow. "That was fast."
Quito tugs on her arm, wriggling as if she is holding in great excitement. They cross the bridge, now nearly down to normal operating staff, and Artsy opens her mouth to greet Frangelica...but all that comes out is a delighted gasp. Quito dances gleefully and then quiets, tiptoeing up to peer at the tiny baby nestled against Frangelica's dark cloak.
You stinker! Artsy thinks at her. You knew and you didn't tell me! But her radient golden flush and "Congratulations!" for Frangelica are just as real.
Suddenly the Spidership is once again bombarded with hailstones.
How's that sir?
Sir, I predict that this hailstorm should not last for at least this time tomorrow, then there'll be some sunny periods and a max temperature of 85 Fahrenheit. The Pollen Count forecast is high, and sunburn times are very low, even in the shade.
presses a button to move to the next screen
And for tomorrow's forecast, it will become darker as night progresses, but things should brighten up by the morning.
presses a button to move to the next screen but instead slips a finger on the console and is treated to the Blue Screen Of Death. Naturally, he dies.
Milkshake - hail the Atlantis and tell them we're going to attack in a matter of minutes.
Why are we going to attack the Atlantis? I thought they were on our side? And why are we warning them?
Sir, more hyperspace portals are opening up. On all sides of the planet. I'm detecting frogships, frogstar fighters, bullfrog bombers, other ships that are not in our database.
Two large ships have emerged... the closest match in our database are the ships of the Ancient Ones that turned earth into a mass of molten magma in 1,046,997,046 BC.*
* As recorded by Old DC Fan on LICC XIII
Sir, I'm going to activate full battle mode... the one that was installed when we left Earth.
With that, Alex presses a blue button and things start to happen. From an outside view, the Spidership seems to grow in size and powerful weapons of all sorts emerge. The legs become torpedo launchers, and several auxilary power sources activate, providing more power to the weapons. A number of Polymorph weapons, phasers, and planet smashers show themselves, and many other weapons that had been phased and cloaked come into view.
Sir, we now seemed to be armed not only to the teeth, but the tongue and esophagus as well. It seems that every weapon that the DOS could come up with, including those from some of the dimensions that Jackson and Butrfli visited, are installed. I think we can handle almost enemy we come across.
Suddenly the whole ship goes dark and power goes down
Oops! Just kidding!
He sticks the plug back in and everything comes back on
AARGH! But now everything's showing up the dreaded Blue Screen Of Death! Quick! Someone activate the CTRL-ALT-DEL protocol!
A silence as the computers return back online... then
Phew. That was a close one. All the monitors are back to normal except... my one.... which is now showing... GASP! The Mauve Screen Of Death! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
silence as the Mauve Screen Of Death consumes the Redshirt's own processing power.
He falls silent. For ever.
But why does the date say "April 1st, 1980"?
turns on another monitor and is M*A*S*Hed to death by some good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm...
Well, it's a big universe. I'm sure it's April 1st, 1980, somewhere.
I'm just glad it didn't say the 1970's. With this ship's luck we probably would have passed through a spacial anomoly that would have turned the whole crew into refugees from a disco.
Blueshirt: Nooooooooo!!! Don't tempt the fates with bad ideas, fool!
(At that moment the sonic vibrations from the blueshirt's voice shattered the support of a convenient disco ball and crushed the redshirt.)
Duella: It's going to be odd not to see you here at the Exposition Station.
Carol: Yep. I can't believe this is my last week on the Spidermobile!OMT
Dramatic Music: Duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!
Deulla: What was that?
Carol: I don't know, but I'm not taking any chances. I made sure I wasn't wearing anything with red on it. (she said as she touched-up her scarlet make-up)
Dramatic Music: Duh duh duuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!
Carol: I wish it would stop doing that.
A special offer for fans of LICC! Yes! You can now decide the fate of a character!
Dial 1-976-47-KILL EM NOW!* and
Press 1 to kill Lt. Carol First
Press 2 to kill Ensign Duella First
Press 3 to kill Ensign Ardluck
Press 4 to kill the last remaining Redshirt Jar-Jar
Vote now, vote often and just ignore that little service charge.
(suddenly the TV screen fills with static and two distant voices can be heard)
Chip: What do you think of this idea, uncle EE?
EE: You didn't hit the red broadcast button, did you?
Chip: Whoops!
* It's the future. Of course they need more digits.
(dials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4, redials, hits 4)
(hits 4)
And yes... I think we already have the results of the Evil Interactive Offer!
And the winner is.....
(opens envelope)
5 - Redshirt Host #394!! Well done!
Wait a minute... That's--
Suddenly is yanked off stage by a large hook, which accidentally goes off target and chops the Redshirt Host's head clean off!
Arching her eyebrows amusedly at the chaos around her
Random enemy ships. Here's something I haven't seen for a while. Hey, Josh, whassap? Good to see ya, man. Full Commander suits you.
Artsy! Quito! Hi! I was wonering where you'd got to. This is Astoria. I carry her around in a subspace envelope when I'm off fighting the Powers of Hostile.
(Keiran drifts in, still seemingly stealthy even without the cloak to add dramatics.)
You haven't forgotten an old friend, have you, Fran?
The spidership receives a hail. However, there is nothing on the viewscreen.
Would you mind dropping the shields for a second? Its awfully hard for me to board with them down.
A blueshirt asks who he is talking to.
*Sigh* Increase the magnification of the viewscreen by about 10, you dunce!
The blueshirt does as asked. Rocket Ranger is floating in space, surrounded by a teal-colored force-field.
Hurry up. I haven't got all day.
The shields drop, and Quincy K. Rocket appears on the bridge in a quick flash of teal-colored light. He has on a Cincinnati Reds baseball cap and jersey,sunglasses, a black t-shirt, jeans and black boots, and is carrying a black duffel bag slung over one shoulder.
Thanks.
He looks around for a second.
So....what did I miss?
Quincy - Would you mind dropping the shields for a second? Its awfully hard for me to board with them down.
So that's the problem! When an enemy ship attacks we should drop our shields so they can't board us!
Quincy - So....what did I miss?
Depends. How long have you been gone?
There was an attack on the Dolphinmobile and we picked up three members of GROSS as well as having some problems with some Sheepships, we were attacked by O'Kak, boarded by Supermodels, Lopez, Pleyvak & Robot Redshirt can't be found and we're heading in to attack Taconator's world & may have to deal with a group of space pirates along the way.
Did I forget anything?
Oh, yeah. Frangelica returned and she's a mommy!
A fatal exception 0E has occurred at 0028:C0013 F7A in VXD VMM(01)+0012F7A. The current application will be terminated.
Takes an axe and chops the Windoze PC displaying the Mauve Screen of Death and then goes back to his superior Macintosh computer.
It looks like you're a Macintosh user - do you require an annoying paperclip?
Suddenly a tiny, little red shirt is put on Clippy.
"Bu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Keiran Morgan! Wow! It *has* been a while! What brings you here?
(Morgan laughs.)
Looks like you've been keeping an eye on us, then. What brings me here? You can't think you can show up without every Leaguer on the ship stopping by for a 'Welcome Back', can you?
Awright, awright, Obsy, you got me. As I was telling Tacoman, I'm working with an organization of superhero parents-- we help rescue each other's kidnapped children before they have a change to be traumatized and saddled with emotional baggage. I'm on Interplanetary Abduction Duty this week, and those supermodels that tried to raid your ship had just kidnapped a Member's Daughter from a Beautiful Baby Contest. We tracked them this far and, well, here we are.
Here I am, at any rate. Libby seems to have hitched a ride back.
It looks like you're a Mauve Screen Of Death - do you want any-- YAAAARGH!
sheer terror and agony as the Redshirted Clippy is trapped inside a General Protection Vault and is forced to die a lingering death forever, together with electric screams...
Thank you! I'll be here until 1989!
If one could see into the very 'code' of Taconator's cybernetic being, and if one could possibly hope to understand that code and how it worked to preserve his personality and existence, and if one was a dyed-in-the-wool LICC fan, one would be cheering right about now. For Taconator's 'code' is developing errors and lost function calls by the second.
In the physical world, this cannot really be noticed at the moment, but let's imagine Taconator himself is flashing through random colors and textures and his synthesized voice is wavering. And for the purposes of plot, he is talking to himself.
"We do have the resources to open the rift. We do have the energy, and we can withstand the onslaught from the newcomers and the humans for twice as long as it will take to escape. But my degredation is increasing at a geometric rate. I have to do something now."
He opens a channel.
"Son, please join me in the main processing chamber. There is much to say before we go.
Would you mind dropping the shields for a second? Its awfully hard for me to board with them down.
So, he can't board the ship with the shields down? They have to be up? I guess that blueshirt ain't the only dunce around.
Sure, dad. (he set Aztiram down and telepathically told the cat to keep an eye on things)
(to himself he thought) Could this be... Nah, probably not. I completely misjudged the evidence and bet my life on what turned out to be a fool's mission. And now I'm helping Taconator to conquer another dimension? There must be something I can do to prevent transit.
(he enters the main processing center, then barriers rise from the floor, drop from the ceiling and come out of the walls)
Then again, maybe I didn't misjudge? Better make this look good.
(he began moving and flipping to avoid the various barriers)
Gee, dad, did I do something wrong?
Scratch your favorite golf clubs? Ruin a favorite tie? Return the speeder without refueling?
(after several minutes of evasion & quips The Funky Horror is restrained)
Okay, if I've calculated correctly he will give me the genetic cure before expelling my mind and taking over my body. Shame that GW1 escaped. Still once injected with the cure I should be able to warp space & time to get out of here.
(several needles sink into The Funky Horror's flesh)
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
(he writhes in agony as his genetic code is rewritten, he involuntary shifts to his canoid form, but the restraints hold him. As the pain slowly subsides energy conductors come out and connect themselves to his few cybernetic implants)
Pain... too great... can't... warp space... must use third option... before my mind is wiped... and Taconator takes over... download myself into Aztiram.
Aztiram?
Aztiram?!?
(his mental connection with the cat was blocked by interferance)
That's it then. Game over. I lost. Still... Taconator's victory won't be as long as he thinks.
Gee, dad. Are you just trying to get under my skin, or drive me out of my mind.
Taconator: Both.
(on board the Novaquest the crew were still mostly in their blue & yellowshirt disguises & the spy is still disguised as Robot Redshirt)
So we're just leaving then?
Captain: You saw how many enemy ships came out of Hyperspace. Sure we could have destroyed the Spidermobile, but then people would say we were just claiming credit for destruction that came from others.
We could have seeked glory by fighting alongside the Spidermobile.
Captain: True, but you saw how many enemy ships there were. We aren't well equipped enough for a prolonged battle. Hit and run was the best we could have done.
Understood. (looks around the crew, and sees some Supermodels & people in pilot uniforms, and whispers) Are you sure everybody here is Whateverz?
Captain: You think we would accidentally beam aboard the wrong people?
Mayb... you're right. Of course not.
Captain: Anything else?
Have you thought about changing the name of the ship?
Captain: To what?
How does The Knights Of Silvercliff sound?
Captain: That's the daftest name I've ever heard.
Canned laughter: Ha ha ha ha!
Captain: What is that?!?
We seem to have picked up a computer glitch.
Canned laughter: Ha ha ha ha!
The smaller, more manueverable ships swooped in close to Engineworld trying to avoid being destroyed by it's defenses and then attempting to lock onto some valuable piece of technology and beam it aboard.
Some of the more powerful ships with more powerful shields attampted to blast the defensive weapons of Engineworld to make for easier plundering.
The two largest ships, however, moved to between Engineworld and the approaching Spidermobile, Atlantis, Furby ship and the others. One the ships fired and it was only the inexperience of the crew that kept it from being a direct hit, and the beam sliced through the Furby ship's shields and several decks, spilling out dozens of annoyed Furbys into space.
The Furby ship fired back, hit the shields and half the force was reflected back into space.
Over the communicators came, "Arrrgh, matey, was that your best shot?" The pirates' weapons powered up again.
(Aztiram was worried. Contact with The Funky Horror had been lost. If that continued a self-destruct code would be activated.
Suddenly from out of the shadows came a blur that picked up the cat and continued moving.)
Hello pretty kitty. Did that spawn of a test tube get himself into trouble or what?
(They disappeared into shadow and re-emerged inside the main processing center and before Taconator could react she quickly cast a spell)
Latem ylf trapa!
(the container containing The Funky Horror burst apart and he fell to the ground with a thud)
TFH: Ow! What the...
No time to chat!
(Myriad grabbed him and they vanished into the shadowrealm to reappear in the sickbay of the Spidermobile. They dropped to the deck.)
You have got to lose some weight.
TFH: GW1? I thought...
The name is Myriad! Or would you like to be called GH5?
(The Doctor & Butrfli both recognized The Funky Horror and immediately force shields were erected in sickbay)
TFH: You were supposed to...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You expected me to follow your orders and risk my life before I had even lived one. No thanks, 'boss'.
(to the Doctor) You might want to examine him. He should have the cure to the genetic 'bomb' that's ticking in 12 of 10 & Cyber 9.
(to Butrfli) Hi 'mom'. (she let herself turn a yellow-gold at Butrfli's reaction)
Doctor: Cyber 9 is believed destroyed.
Oh, yeah. Knew I forgot something. (and with that she disappeared into the shadowrealm)
(on the Chameleonmobile Cyber 9 and Hairy Kim were returning to the bridge)
Kim: We have enough food and supplies to last for years.
Hopefully you won't be trapped for that long. I would hate to think I led you all into a death trap.
Kim: We volunteered and we knew there'd be risks. We'll get out no matter how many years... (she stopped when she realized that the man she loved didn't have years.) Sorry.
Don't be. You changed my life.* Gave me a purpose. It may have a been a short life, but I have few regrets.
Kim: Such as?
(The captain's chair turned around and sitting in it was Myriad)
Myriad: Being an arrogant spawn of a test tube, perhaps?
Who are you? (At that moment on the viewscreen he saw the nothingness breaking apart and real space showing up)
Myriad: Oh, while you've only been here for a day, several days have elapsed out there. The League & others are attacking Engineworld. (to Kim she waves and says) Hi 'mom'. (and she disappears back into the shadowrealm.)
* Cyber 9 changed sides from the X-CwX to the Human League at the battle of Wolf 359 because of Hairy Kim, which would have been a flashback had I done this story as a LICCfic.
"Grrr. Aim the main gun at the first ship and set the exit vortex to its main engines."
"Done. Reduced Quickshot initiated."
"Fire!"
Zap! Boom! Crunch!
(No visual FX available due to budget restraints.)
"Nice shot. One dusted, one heavily damaged. Order our floating friends to board the pirate vessel. No survivors please."
"Yes, boss."
"Oh, and create a parrot hologramm to annoy those pirates."
Polly want a cracker! RRAAAAAAAARRRRRCK! Who's a pretty boy then?
looks into a mirror which then shatters into a million pieces, catching the parrot in the light bee, turning its coat red.
RRRRAAAAAAAARRRRCK! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!
a holographic cutlass materialises above it, slicing the parrot into eight pieces
I was here during the GROSS and O'kak incidents, Ardluck. You might need to go see Holodoc about that memory problem you're having.
He pauses
So, Frangelica has a kid now, huh?
He looks around for a yellowshirt and finally spots one
You'd better have the ship's comm system checked. It seems to be switching the words `up' and `down', for some reason.
He pauses.
Well, vacation was fun. The wife was away on a mission for most of it, so I went and caught a few baseball games until she got back. Got to see a 3-game sweep on the Yankees by the Reds while I was there, so you can bet I'm happy about that.
Another ship, shaped like a beetle, joins the fray, on the Spidership's side.
With the power losses onboard the Spidermobile, the shield levels have been fluctuating wildly. The situation is just right for a transporter beam to punch through.
In Sickbay, Angstrom and BetaMax are sitting tight under the watchful eye of Holodoc, when a shimmer and a shine-beam starts, and ShootingStar materializes. Holodoc begins to open his virtual mouth, but SS fires one of her blasts into the holoprojector mounted in Sickbay's overhead, and he dissolves without a word.
"Alright, fellas, time to go. I got us a ship." 'Star says, looking around Sickbay to make sure no one else is present.
"Fine." says Angstrom, getting up from the biobed.
"We made a deal with Commander Milkshake, we do not intend to honor it?" BetaMax asks.
"The man's sitting on his hands, Beta. You're the best weapon we have against Taconator. We might even get a pardon out of this." Angstrom says.
"ShootingStar to New Dolphinmobile Computer, energize."
And they do.
Baseball's OK, but Blernsball is better.
A blernsball appears out of nowhere, and beans him. He drops dead. A one eyed woman with purple hair materializes, says "Oops", picks up the blernsball and disappears.
The Reds swept the Yankees? The apocalypse is truly upon us.
Ensign Yellowshirt whispering: Commander, the comm system checks out fine.
Rikard: Yeah, thought so. Hello, what is that? Transports in Sickbay. Looks like we have some visitors... and departures!! Are GROSS "guests" have beamed off of the ship.
Grainy Footage
And the Redshirts have won the World Series!
Suddenly tragedy strikes as the team is trampled upon by a huge crowd of cheering fans invading the field
Jackson regards the T.R.A.S.H. ship on screen.
Steve, that reminds me... the Lucy in the Sky can go into battle mode... not as many weapons as we have here, but still very well armed. Do you want me to go out and join the frey? I think at this point we need all the ships we can get...
Alex: Also, we seem to have the ability, with enough ships, to make a supership... the Furby fighter, the Spider, Jackson's ship... even Rocket Ranger's ships... That ability might come in handy at this point...
Jackson: Oh, by the way Frangelica, congratulations on the baby. May the child become as superheroic as its mother.
Hello Frangelica. It's good to see you again. You know, time flies like an arrow. But fruit flies like a banana.
Hi Astoria! Cute kid.
He walks over to his station.
Well, it appears that the lavender ceilings and paisley floors in the hallways are back to normal.
The exact twin of the redshirt who dropped dead for no good reason after reporting the disapearence of Lopez and Plevyak, runs up to Milkshake. "Commander! Commander! Internal security sensors saw what ahppened! Sir, the Siliconian kidnapped Commander Lopez and Ensign Plevyak!" The redshirt then procedes to die of excitement.
Thanks Frangelica. It's very good to see you. It is nice to be first officer.
Lopez and Plevyak are gone? Kidnapped by a Silconian? We have to find that ship. Get our officers back.
Yes. We'll have to send a message to Taconator telling him to wait while we look.
(realizes she said that a little too loud)
Oops! Sorry. I'm a little testy because I just found out someone has posted pictures of me in that Supermodel costume on the ship's intranet with slogans like Miss Spidermobile 3003 and other... rude sayings.
Ship's sensors indicate that the F. Monty & the Calvin Hillfigure left after Lopez and Plevyak's disappearance... hmmm, that's odd. An apparent piece of space debris also took off... at warp!
I've plotted their courses and have recorded their warp signatures. We can transmit this information to any Earth or interplanetary authority ship in the region and they can either stop the ships & examine them for any trace of our people or follow them to their destinations and we can take over if we survive this mission.
...er, WHEN we survive this mission. *gulp* He he he.
(to Quincy) Well, a lot had happened recently and I wasn't sure if you were on board then or not. Better too much information then...
(gets distracted by comment about Duella's pictures)
(Meanwhile on the other side of Sickbay, behind a holographic projection of an empty Sickbay, Holodoc, Butrfli, The Funky Horror & Aztiram watch the GROSS 3 disappear)
They'll never get their free lollipops now.
Holodoc: With all the comings and goings around here we should rename this place Grand Central Station.
Butrfli: That wasn't the EMH they destroyed, was it?
Holodoc: No. It was just a simple simulacrum of me just in case they did try something. Who knows what Betamax' power would have done to me? I'd hate to be turned into a candle. Now you... Funky... stay still so I can examine you.
A tricorder? How quaint. (The Funky Horror pulls out his pentcorder and runs it over himself) Done. (he glances at the readings) Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh... Chemical X! Why didn't I think of that?
Butrfli: Who was that woman who called me mom?
Well, she calls herself Myriad now, but she was constrcuted out of the DNA of you, Crimson Crossbow, Artsy-Fartsy, Shadow Senshi & Hairy Kim.
Holodoc: The hair samples.
Yep.
Holodoc: Didn't you also take a sample from Enesku.
Yes, but it was unsuitable.
Holodoc: She'll be disappointed to hear that.
I'll stay out of spear range. (TFH involuntary rubbed the wound Enesku had given him) I'm surprised security and the captain aren't here to hear what I can tell them about Taconator's defenses.
I should think that would be important at the moment.
Butrfli: Constrcuted?
Yes. A special 64th Century genetic technique. (leans back and whistles an innocent tune)
Well, I'm actually still supposed to be on vacation for another....
Looks at the watch built into one of his metal wristbands
.....3 hours and 47 minutes.But what the heck, lets go pop open a can of Whoop-*** and haul those GROSS members back into the brig!
Quincy slams his wristbands together
ROCKET POWER!!
In a quick flash of teal-colored light, he is dressed in his Rocket Ranger armor.
After we go get Lopez and Plevyak back, of course.
You know, with all the kids aboard, we should have a day care center or something...
Jackson presses a few buttons
I've told the butler to take Fran and Logan to our guest room. At a moment's notice, the Lucy in the Sky can be ready for battle.
the first babysitter makes his way to the day care center
He-lloo, kiddies! Let's aall jomp op an' dowan loike feckin' eejits!
suddenly the kids start to grab hold of their paintbrushes
Noa, look kiddies - we're naat payentin' pretty picturres to-day, so let's aall put t'ose payentbroshes dowan!
the kids start painting the Irish guy in the dinosaur suit a bright red
Hey! You's gerroff o' me, ya wee feckers!
as he effs and blinds away, one kid throws a papier-mache asteroid at his head, wiping out both him and his fellow Irish-guys-in-dinosaur-suits.
FutureTeacher: And so, class, that's how the Irish-guys-in-dinosaur-suits were wiped out millions of years ago.
...the damaged pirate ship has been completely dismantled by the little furry attackers. All valuable technologie has been stolen salvaged.
Glances at Rocket Ranger.
And after we stop Taconator.
Bridge to Sickbay. Could you tell us who our visitors are that recently beamed in to your area?
Why thank you, Tacoman... err, Tacomen. What a lovely thing to say.
Hey, Jadlad! Good to see you.
And I'd strongly counsel against the day-care center. Superhero day-care is like a ship manned entirely by redshirts... what happens to one will happen to all.
Why I protest at that last remark! My ship, the Happy-Go-Lucky Redship, has logged over fifteen years of space flight and nothing has gone wrong! Look and see now!
points to the Happy-Go-Lucky Redship which, as it happens is dead in space after Captain Dylan Redshirt accidentally left toast burning in the Talkie RedToaster™.
Ah. Erm, gottago....
runs off to the nearest airlock which opens. As he enters, the airlock door suddenly slams shut, slicing him into two.
Milkshake comes into sickbay.
"This place seems to be very popular. Alright, where--"
The ship shakes as Engineworld locks every tractor beam at its disposal on it.
How could I forget about Taconator? If I ever get my hands on him, I'm gonna rip him a new one!
Looks at Frangelica.
So, if you ever have a son, are you going to name him Jared?
Delgago tries to use the Spare Crewman Console to figure out just what the @#%*&$ is going on, plot-wise.
Unfortunately, all he gets is a beach screensaver and "The Girl From Ipanema."
arches a suspicious eyebrow
Please explain yourself, Quincy.
Hello
At the moment the Spidermobile is heading in to attack Engineworld along with several other ships. For convenience sake we'll call all these ships the Good Guys.
However Space Pirates are trying to steal the valuable technology from Engineworld and keep the Good Guys from destroying it. Also Taconator is fighting back against the Space Pirates & the Good Guys.
In addition to this, The Funky Horror who was thought to be a Bad Guy was revealed to only be working with Taconator to get a cure to a built in genetic flaw that Taconator had implanted in all X-CwX to insure loyalty. He and the cure have recently been brought to the Spidermobile and he is currently in Sickbay waiting to tell what he knows about Taconator's defenses.
The GROSS 3 have escaped from the Spidermobile and have taken the ship formerly known as the Modelizer into battle against Engineworld.
Pilots Lopez and Plevyak have been kidnapped and their exact whereabouts are unknown at this time.
Watch out for the redshirt behind you.
a redshirt with a cup of coffee trips when Taconator's tractor beams lock onto the Spidermobile, but Delgado is able to catch him and keep him standing
Redshirt: Wow! Thanks, sir. If I'd fallen this cup of coffee would have shorted out the console, killing me. Thank goodness you're aboard to make things safer for us redshirts.
he then drinks the cup of coffee, but unfortunately it had been prepared by Ensign MacDonalds and had not yet cooled down enough to be safe for drinking.
Redshirt: Aaaaaaaaa...!!! *thud*
Delgado asks the program how it can know all this. The Girl from Ipanema image fades to reveal Myriad sitting at the controls of an unfamiliar ship, then returns to the Girl from Ipanema image
I have my sources. Hee hee hee...
The Furby scavengers have unfortunately found that salvaged tech is useless, irreparably damaged by their weapons. Not that it matters the Furbys are way too powerful anyway and the universe would prefer it if they don't get any more so.
What the GROSS 3 said & did is related to Milkshake. The Funky Horror, while mentioning that Taconator didn't trust him, tells what he knows of Taconator's offensive & defensive capabilities.
The LegionICC Chameleonmobile finally catches up with all the other ships. However from out of Hyperspace comes a more powerful ship than the two that the Furby ship destroyed. As a matter of fact it is so powerful it will keep both the Furby ship and the Chameleonmobile busy for most of the coming battle, so the Space Pirates will have to be dealt with by the other ships already here.
(Meanwhile, babysitting Fran & Logan, Snooty Butler Man gets a message from a temp agency)
Hmmm, Babysitter Girl. Powers include superspeed, eyes in the back of her head, the ability to produce multiple arms for dealing with more than one child and teleportion powers. Willing to babysit super-powered children as long as it doesn't interfere with schoolwork.
That would certainly keep me from having to watch them all the time. I'll pass this on to Master Tacoman, after the battle.
He and the cure have recently been brought to the Spidermobile
What? Robert Smith is here? Is Barbra Streisand around causing trouble?
Rocket Ranger looks at Frangelica.
Uh, nevermind.
He turns to Commander Rikard.
I'm heading to my lab. If we're going to be going up against Taconator, then I need to go make sure my secret weapon is in working order. If the ThunderWolf is needed, Wayne and Kent can handle it without me. I can do the most good here, not piloting my ship.
He starts to walk toward the turbo-lift.
Ensign Snewtipantz: If you're in a hurry, wouldn't teleporting be faster?
Rocket Ranger stops walking and turns toward Snewtipantz.
Rocket Ranger: Yes, but there's a reason I don't teleport often.
Ensign Snewtipantz: Which is?
Rocket Ranger: Teleporting is somewhat uncomfortable when I'm in my physical form. I already teleported on-board the ship, and its too soon for me to do another teleport without risking a serious headache.
Ensign Snewtipantz: Oh.
Rocket Ranger continues walking to the turbo-lift.
... on Delgago's screen morphs into a bellydancing male Furby wearing a thong. Delgado looks shocked.
Chief Engineer Lt. Commander McDudley walks onto the bridge of The Wytch Queen. Captain Biggens is going over some information on a PADD with an ensign.
Captain Biggens: Looks like it should work fine. Continue with the project, Ensign.
Ensign: Yes, sir!
The Ensign salutes then leaves the bridge.
Lt.Commander McDudley: Cap'n, the repairs are almost complete. We should have the last of the armor plating we got from the spidership installed within the next half hour. *
Captain Biggens: Excellent. Notify me when your team is done.
Lt. Commander McDudley: Aye, Cap'n.
He leaves the bridge. (Only ensigns and lieutenants are required to salute the captain)
Captain Biggens: Ensign Pulver, get me "Gremlin" on the main viewer.
Ensign Pulver: Yes, sir.
Lt. Commander Michael "Gremlin" Garrison appears on the main viewscreen. He's obviously on one of the ship's flight decks.
Captain Biggens: Mike, what's the status of our fighters?
"Gremlin": Not good. Fortunately the two Shadowbats weren't damaged, but we lost most of Hurricane Squadron's and a third of Tempest Squadron's Javelins. Two of our Scorpions and five of our Phoenixes were damaged so bad that they're only going to be useful for supplying spare parts, and 1 of the Scorpions is now just a melted hunk of metal and circuits.
Captain Biggens: And we won't be able to get replacement ships for another two and a half weeks. (pauses) "Gremlin", what about the Quaard fighters we captured last month? Can Hurricane Squadron fly those?
"Gremlin": Captain, most of those ships' systems are substandard and we can't even figure out how the shields on them work. If you put pilots in those, then you'd be sending them to their deaths. I advise against it.
Captain Biggens: Very well. See if your mechanics can cannibalize the shield generators from the wrecked Phoenixes and replace the Quaard fighters' generators with those. We need all the firepower we can get until we can replace our losses.
"Gremlin" (obviously not too pleased): Yes, sir. (pauses) Anything else?
Captain Biggens: Yes. Get some rest. Biggens out.
The viewscreen returns to normal.
Captain Biggens: Ensign Pulver, contact the spidership and ask them if they need our assistance for anything. I'm heading to my ready room. Lieutenant Wolfe, you have the bridge.
Captain Biggens exits the bridge.
* Captain Biggens and the engineers visited the spidership and departed before the Supermodel invasion. The visit simply took place off-camera.
The ship's Tactical officer looks up. If Insane is still aboard, it's probably him.
Transmission coming from the Wytch Queen sir.
Milkshake is not on the bridge, so Rikard nods.
Rikard: Put it through.
In a dark lab the Siliconians who sannged the two pilots stand guard while two haggard looking scientists add strange liquids to a device that pumps directly into Lopez's veins. One of them says, "Soon, we will have the perfect weapon against the femlae heroes who defeated us. A male loyal to us with all our powers." The other one says, as Lopez stirs and yanks hard at his straps, "You did remember the brianwashing program right?" "I thought you were gonna do it." They both run toward the table Grant Lopez is on, but the badly designed straps give way easily, and Lopez yanks out the tubes. When he does, his blood emits a powerful odor as it flows down his bare chest. The Siliconians all begin to swoon and fall hopelessly in love with Lopez. The pilot grabs his head and groans in pain, not noticing that something that vaugely resembles a Scientology meeting is happening at his feet. "What have they done to me?" he mutters, as he stumbles towards the door.
It is.
Has "brianwashing" something to do with this one author's deodorant problem?
Delgado is still being meanaced by the thong-wearing Fubry. All of his attempts to remove the vile sight are rebuffed... until he discovers that he can alter the visual settings of the creature. With this power, he changes the thong's color... to red.
"Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" The image of the Furby explodes and the console returns to normal.
Ensign Pulver appears on the spidership's viewscreen.
Captain Biggens sends his greetings and thanks for the help with our repairs. He would also like to inquire if we can be of any assistance to you in return.
Oh no! The viewscreen has been Pulver-ized!
Sir, I think I can disrupt or destroy the tractor beams with a few well placed shots... I might even be able to get some of Taconator's weapons...
Also... with Lopez kidnapped, will we still be able to take a fighter squad or two out to fight?
the Siliconians who sannged the two pilots
They sanng? What sonngs did they sinng? Winnd Benneath My Winngs, perhaps?
Thanks Ensign Pulver but I think we're good right now. Just engage what's left of Taconator's forces. We can't let him escape again.
Commander Dupree, fire. Since both our flight commander and his assistant are missing that puts either me or you in charge of the fighter squadrons. Lt. Lopez believed that there was reason for concern with you performances, but do you think that you could handle leading our squadrons into battle?
The former Modelizer is tearing through space on a direct course with Taconator's Engineworld, dodging gamma blasts and near-sentient torpedoes every step of the way.
"Could we possibly get closer to those blasts, Markku?" says ShootingStar.
"This is not so easy, you know." Angstrom replies, gritting his teeth.
"Could I help?"
"No, stay there, Beta, build your strength. We'll make it, we'll make it." ShootingStar says.
A great plume of crimson energy erupts at them from the machine planet and barely misses, nearly atomizing them, their captives and their stolen ship.
"Vad i helvete!!" sputters Angstrom.
ShootingStar pulls up an aft view on her console. The blazing beam of ions was not meant for their craft, but instead smashes into the Spidermobile.
Lieutanant Wolfe hears Commander Rikard's response.
Pulver, get "Gremlin" on the comm again.
A few seconds later, "Gremlin" Garrison appears on the viewscreen.
"Gremlin": What's up?
Lt. Wolfe: Lt. Commander, it might be a good idea to get your flight crews ready. We may be engaging Taconator's forces soon, fighting alongside LICC and some others.
"Gremlin": Will do. (pausese) By the way, tell Captain Biggens that we have some good news. One of the Phoenixes we thought was scrap actually wasn't damaged as badly as we thought. It won't be flyable for another couple of days, however. "Gremlin" out.
The viewscreen goes blank.
Lt. Wolfe: Holt, raise shields and arm the weapons. Everything except the main gun. We can't afford to expend the amount of energy it requires at the moment.
Lt. Holt: Affirmative.
If Grant Lopez is given the powers of a Siliconian, does that mean he will have giant, heaving breasts?
If he does will he complain or look forward to being alone on a Saturday night?
What's a Fubry and why is it meancing Delgado?
If the Wytch Queen attacks what's left of Taconator's forces who will attack what's right of Taconator's forces?
I wonder if the weapons officer on the Wytch Queen will Holt the pickles?
What superpowers will Lopez get?
He won't be able to fly since only the Airheadians could do that.
He won't be able to make himself superthin because only the Anorexians could do that.
We did see some supermodels using superspeed & superstrength, so he might get that. However he won't be invulnerable, since several models were knocked out with lead pipes & kinetic orbs & some were run over by a train.
Aye, sir.
Alex presses the fire button. Taconator's planet, specifically the shield generators, tractor beam generators, and weapons are bombarded by a hellish array of weaponary. The tractor beams release the Spidership, and some of the planet is in flames.
We've managed to destroy or severly damage Taconator's shields, destroy his tractor beams, and just about destroyed his weapons.
Alex presses the intercom button for internal communication.
Alex Dupree to all pilots, please get to your fighters at this time. Because of the kidnapping of Grant and Brad, I will be in charge of this mission. It also appears the "Gremlin" Garrison is going to be in battle with us, so that's one bit of good news. Dupree out.
Alex Dupree to "Gremlin" Garrison on the Wytch Queen, nice to be in battle with you again. Let's hope we can stop this menace before he can strike again.
With that, Alex springs to the turbolift and heads for Rocket's lab. Once there, he sets up the controls for the experimental ship. Seeing that all the pilots have gathered in the bay, Alex projects a hologram of himself in front of them.
Ladies and gentlemen and fellow pilots, today, we fight another battle. I know some you have heard that Grant has had some doubts about me, but I will do my best to quiet those doubts. The Wytch Queen is providing us with assistance, and that includes their fighter squadrons, under the leadership of "Gremlin" Garrison. At any point during the battle, you will listen to myself, Garrison, or other instructions from the ship.
We have managed to slow down Taconator by damaging his weapons, shields, and tractor beams, but his planet-ship is still a dangerous opponent, as are the ships around him. I want you to make Grant Lopez, the Spidership, Earth, and myself proud today.
Now, get out there and fight the good fight!
With that, the pilots scramble to their fighters and are soon ready for battle. The bay doors open, and the fighters scream their way out, ready for battle.
This is Redshirt Leader! Standing by to engage enemy!
suddenly the whole of Redshirt Squadron engage their weapons systems. Unfortunately, all the red-shirted pilots slip their fingers and hit the ejector seat button instead...
Lopez wanders the Siliconian structure. He can't tell if it's a building or if he's on a ship, but he know he has to find Plevyak. When his head clears, he finally notices that every Siliconian, Anorexian, and Airheadian he's come across in his escape has not only let him, but all of them seem to be •••• near salivating. He's confused by this. He's no slouch, but he has never considered his physique to be anything more than average for a fighter pilot. His vision unblurs and he notices that while the women are gawking, the males around him (presumbaly all prisoners or slaves) are trying to impress him. They remind him of the way he acted whenever he wanted his father's approval. He notices that his hearing is somewhat off, but slowly clearing, just as his vision had. He grabs one of the brown-nosers. "Where, is, Brad Plevyak." he says slowly, as if he were tal;king to a 4 year old. The man he grabbed enthusiatically led him to a series of cells, where Plevyak, and many other men and women, prisoners, sat looking at him. Lopez was somewhat distubred by the nature of the look. They all looked at him the way followers of a cult leader looked at thier Master in old movies. "What the hell did the Siliconians do to me?" he says to himself.
"Shields reduced to 74 percent and holding." reports Lt. Za, the Atlantis' tactical officer.
"Concentrate weapons on the exhaust ports of the planet." Captain Jansen orders.
"Aye."
Onscreen, the Spidermobile blasts Taconator's Engineworld with massive weaponry.
"How can they manage that?" Jansen wonders. "Their engine core isn't rated past Level XVI. Where did that ship come from?"
Answering Captain Jansen
Wasn't the Spidership 3 created by one of the Q?
Suddenly the ship is rocked and the redshirt goes head first into a replicator and drowned by replicated salt water
(PD Insane gets out in his PD Insane-mobile)
Lt Insane standing by.
Alex gets a message from "Gremlin"
=/\=Our forces are a little thinned out at the moment, I'm afraid. A lot of our fighters were destroyed when the O'kak attacked The Wytch Queen and hit some of our hangars.=/\=
"Gremlin" pauses.
=/\=Lieutenant Page, I want your group to follow me. Lieutenant Austin, take your group and join Alex. Lieutenant Jarrett, you're to take what's left of our remaining Phoenix fighters and hold back until either Alex or myself tell you to strike. Lets gets ready to sweep the floors and blow off the doors! Hoo-Rah!=/\=
The camera shows "Gremlin" in the cockpit of his fighter, then pulls back to show that he is flying one of The Wytch Queen's two Shadowbats. Two of his wingmen (one flying a Scorpion and the other flying a Phoenix) break off, and several ships follow them. Two more Scorpions move into position as replacement wingmen.
=/\="Gremlin" to all Javelin pilots. You are to remain back until after the initial strike, then fly in, launch all missiles, and return to The Wytch Queen immediately. We can't afford to lose what remaining Javelins...or their pilots....that we have left.=/\=
What's our first target, Gremlin? The Frogstars, the small fighters, or Taconator? The Spider managed to disable some of the planetship's systems. We were...enhanced...weaponly before we left Earth.
=/\=I'd recommend taking out the Frogstars first. With them out of the way, the small fighters shouldn't be too much of a nuisance, then we can handle Taconator. But its your call.=/\=
This extra-long episode of LICC will continue until Taconator is destroyed or until the viewers die of old age. Whichever comes first.
I started watching this episode when I was 5.
Too sleazy.
- Mod.