LAST TIME ON LICC...

Stuff stuff stuff stuff. Philosophical discussions. Maze, test, maze, test.

Hey! I get paid whether I say anything or not!

One by one, the team finds their way through the maze, arriving at the center. Jackson is the second to make it through, and soon thereafter Butrfli joins them.

Soon, the only two remaining inside are Insane and Artsy...

Boom! Boo-ya, how'd you like that, Narf? We're guaranteed a win here.

"Now whose math skills are poor? Two-thirds of 9 is six, Commander. You only have five people successfully through the maze."

You said you wanted a majority, Dnar'af. That's five.

"I specified at the beginning of the challenge that 2/3 of you had to complete the maze, not a majority."

That was when there were ten of us. With nine, two-thirds is...six, right. Hey, I'm confident.

"Perhaps overly so, if that little display was any indication."

Jackson: Where's the rest of us?
Butrfli: I've heard that Alex and Josh didn't make it... hopefully they were the only two.
Jackson: so what did everybody face? I had to face an enemy from the past, trial by redshirts, some strange man who wanted to have a picnic...
Butrfli: I faced a magical 10-foot-tall giant-ape thing, one of the wizards from my home dimension, unsupervised scpipts, a haunted house...

"Ah...nasty and perplexing stuff."

"There, there, almost." Artsy is sitting cross-legged on the maze floor, her ring glittering as she works on the object in her hands. The chamber she's in is filled with sparkling ice stalagmites, and is lit with bright bright light from beyond a thick ice shield on the ceiling. The chamber is otherwise unadorned, but for a mosaic tile set into the forward wall. A stylized sun symbol, with two fiery orange gems representing the eyes. Artsy is rubbing away at a fragment of ice with her bare hand, melting the ice away little by little, making the piece smoother and more concave.

"There." She holds the ice lens up into the bright column of light filling the room, and with a little adjustment, a thin beam is projected onto the mosaic. "Yes!" she exults as the gems begin to glow, and then with a rumble, the forward wall slides aside. A new passage is revealed.

Morgan examines the Spidermobile-like door.

"This is out of place. Hmm."

All right, Dnar'af, I've gotta question for you.

Milkshake speaks without removing his attention from the telescope

Why us? Why'd you pick us for your little jobs?

In the center of the maze, the door slides open, revealing what looks like a turbolift...

Above the maze, Dnar'af answers Milkshake.

"Well, you certainly have acheived a reputation as an exemplary group of superheroes, traveling the universe, battling fierceome enemy after fierceome enemy, and always coming out on top. Why settle for anything but the best? Though I should admit that the circumstances in which I found you certainly added to your attractiveness, I probably would have ended up contacting you anyway."

You do get around, then. Managing to find us uncountable light-years from home. Or were you just in the area?

"I actually first heard of your group while doing some research on your home planet. Once you left, I managed to keep tracking you, just as I was tracking a number of other groups whom I thought might be suitable. Once my final selection was made, I already knew where you were, so it didn't take any great strides to reach you."

Circumstances just happened to be right, I guess.

"Essentially, yes. Don't you feel special?" Dnar'af looks up for a moment. "Oh, my, she's heading directly into the section with the invisible walls..."

Milkshake swivels the telescope over from where Insane is struggling with the gold rope over to a large chamber Artsy is entering. It appears empty.

Invisible...I guess I'll take your word for it. Ooh, ouch! Yup.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Grant Lopez appears, looking like he's just been thorugh major surgery and wearing, odly enough, Furby-style garb. He graons and looks at Commander Milkshake. "Oh my head. How long have I been gone? And permision to kill the Furbies sir."

Morgan enters the turbolift room, to satisfy his curiosity...

Dr.Frankenfurby fumes.

"Where the heck did he go? Just five more seconds and he could have been cured! Maybe..."

Assistant Igorby speaks.

"How did you plan to do it? The transporter again?"

The nurse giggles.

"Hehehe. Don't forget there is another guy waiting for a treatment."

Artsy holds up her last bottle of hyperpaint up to the light, shaking it. Not much left of the vernal, and the tangelo, hyacinth, terran sky, curium yellow and charcoal are already gone. At least her latest work's almost finished.

The chamber is now filled with a plethora of perfectly applied lines of pigment, attached to the invisible walls at eye level. The painted lines serve not only to guide one throughout the room, but as a quite unique and beautiful artistic statement as they bend and curve in seeming mid-air. One corner of the room remains un-mapped, and it's there Artsy heads.

Dnar'af is rather taken aback at Lopez' sudden appearance.

"Is this one of your men, Commander? How odd that he would be dropping in unannounced."

In the maze center, Keiran enters the turbolift and the door closes behind him. As soon as it does, the turbolift starts moving up at a speed not disimilar to the speed of the Spidermobile's turbolifts. Soon, the car stops and the door opens again to reveal that Keiran is in a corner of the observation room, looking out at the Lopez-Milkshake-Dnar'af tableau.

Meanwhile, Insane is still struggling with the golden rope, when he hears voices from the other side of the flame pit, calling out for help.

And finally, Artsy walks to the unfinished corner of the invisible-wall section, ready to complete her masterpiece. However, when she gets to the section she hasn't done, she runs smack into another invisible wall. She rubs her face for a moment and prepares to apply the hyperpaint. However, when she presses the trigger, the paint simply mists into the air without hitting anything. Artsy feels in front of her, certain there was a wall there, and she can indeed feel it... but the paint, for some reason, won't stick.

"I hate to sound like a complete moron, but uh, what exactly is going on here? And why am I wearing this outfit? I look like a gay hood ornament!"

Just then he feels a leftover tribble moving in his underwear.

"Purr, purr..."

Morgan wordlessly slips into a chair, settling back and closing his eyes.

"Busy day. Hello, Grant." he says.

Jadlad appears at the center of the maze...soaking wet?!

Well, I passed.

Notices everyone looking at him.

Don't ask. Please...don't ask.

"Yeah," Rikard says to Alex, "This is a pretty good dimension. I know I like it. Then again, it's my home..."
Rikard trails off as he stares into the abyss again, lost in thought.

"All right, this is odd." Artsy says. She presses her hands against the there/not there wall, feeling how far it extends. She quickly finds out that it blocks the entire corridor. She tests it again with her hyperpaint sprayer. The stream of pigment still goes straight through the 'wall', but she finds something interesting. When she pulls the sprayer away from the wall, until the paint diffuses with distance and turns into a sort of mist, the pigment does indeed adhere to the invisible barrier.

Intriguing. As a sort of test, she fishes around in her supplies bag and takes a few hyperpaint vials. The first she tosses underhanded at the wall. It bounces off with a loud "PING!" The second she pitches as hard as she can. Surprisingly, the vial soars straight through the blocked space and skitters on down the corridor. Then she tries a moderately fast throw. Most intriguing of all. The vial is caught fast in the barrier. She takes hold of the tube and tries to extract it. The tube bends and cracks, and finally she pulls off half of the bottle in her hand, the other half remaining suspended in 'midair.'

Artsy's suspicions are confirmed. Now's the time for a leap of faith. She retraces her steps back to the beginning of the invisible maze, now made much easier because of her guidelines. She takes two deep breaths, and begins to run. The world begins to slow down once again as she races through her maze, but she still applies more speed, turning and dodging corners, almost losing her balance a few times. The faster the better. The corridor with the suspended tube comes in sight. This might be painful, she thinks, and closes her eyes as the barrier she knows is there draws even closer.

She keeps running for what seems to be an entire minute, wondering if she could be wrong and the barrier was farther than she thought. She stops as quickly as she can, the heels of her sandals actually smoking as she slides to a stop. And she opens her eyes.

She's deep in a darkened corridor, and far behind she sees the bright light of the invisible maze, with the tiny tiny tube still suspended in the invisible barrier.

Artsy resumes her passage through the darkened maze. As she weaves her way through the corridors, the light eventually returns, and soon everything is ambiently lit as usual. Soon, Arsty approaches another large chamber. However, this chamber is different for a pair of reasons. First of all, its main dimension, relative to the corridor Artsy approaches, is width. Also, here the test looks slightly more obvious, as Artsy can make out rows of boxes inside.

She gets to the chamber proper. The only way out is through a door on the far right wall, but Artsy quickly determines that it is locked. Obviously, the boxes have something to do with this, so Artsy examines them. She finds that they are numbered, going up to #47,474 on the last box nearest the door. Below each number is a handle. She pulls one out to find a key inside. She rushes to the door, but it doesn't fit, and she throws it over her shoulder. Clearly, one of the 47,474 keys opens the door... but which one?

In the observation room, Dnar'af stops glowering over Lopez as Artsy enters the chamber.

"Ah, now, Commander, you'll probably want to help her find the right key. Here's what you should know. The key's location has something to do with the founding date of the LICC."

Founding date...founding date.

Milkshake clicks on the radio

Artsy, try box 2999, or 16799.

Dnar'af slowly looks up at Commander Milkshake.

"Commander, what was that I said about hints as opposed to cheats?"

In the vault, Artsy has found box #16799. She opens it to find a golden key. The right key to the door? She checks, and what do you know, it opens. Beyond, she can see the central plaza, and the other members who have turned around to see her enterance. Relieved, she rushes forward...

ZAP!

Suddenly, Artsy finds herself in the suspended black limbo.

"YOU HAVE FAILED! OR MORE ACCURATELY, YOU HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED!"

In the observation room, Dnar'af allows a smug expression to cross his face.

"Congradulations, Commander, you just cost your team the challenge."

There's still Insane, isn't there, Narf?

"The good lieutenant pledged to build a bridge of straw. Which makes his fooling around with all that gold wire a little odd, don't you think?"

And indeed, Insane has almost figured out a way to build the bridge using his wire. He is trying to use the Force to get the wire to loop around a ledge on the opposite side of the fire pit, but he's not having much luck, and the wire keeps dropping to the ground, forcing him to quickly retract it and wait for it to cool before he can try again.

However, he finally gets a lucky through, and the wire catches the opposite side. He has a working bridge cooked up in no time, and quickly bolts across it so he can answer the pleas on the other side. No sooner has he made it across the chasm, than he is zapped into the void and given the losers' speech.

Milkshake, for once, is silent, and puts his helmet visor back down with a snap.

"That's the game, Commander. What was the wood you used? Oh, yes... Boo-ya.

"Now, will someone explain what your ostensibly sick pilot is doing here?"

Grant, what are you doing here? How'd you find us?

Dnar'af brings the losing crewmembers to the observation room with a ZAP! A moment later he brings up the winners, as well.

Rikard flicks the flashlight on again when he hears a couple more losing speeches.

"Artsy? Insane? Wait a minute, if you two lost doesn't that mean...?"

Before he can finish, he finds himself sitting in another room, this one with lights and his fellow LICC. He stands up.

"What's going on? We didn't lose, did we?"

We did. A certain...Milkshake digs around for the most archaic insult he can find putz decided to be very strict about our tests. Is everyone all right?

Lopez shrugs. "Last thing I remember, those demonic little [Lopez uses a word so shocking that Milkshake actually gasps] Furbies were cutting me open to get at thos phermone glands the Anorexians put into me. Then there were these strange lights, and next thing I know, I'm here, weairng this riduclous thing. I don't even know how long I've been gone, sir."

"Put a few extra security forcefields around him so that he cannot escape like Mr.Lopez (who still poses a pheromone threat btw)! Very good. Now program his old DNA file into the transporter. Is there any difference to his current one? No? You mean he was not manipulated? Well... Who cares. Let's start the procedure! It really cannot get worse."

"Initializating rejuvenation protocol... Modifying age buffer... Time set - before the incident... Did I ever tell you that I knew a guy named Brad many years ago in my universe? He had a really strange transporter accident and was multiplied. We called them the Brady Bunch. Do you have any siblings or clones, pilot?"

"MRMPF!!!"

"I see. Everything ready? Good! Then let's try it. Remember, it did work more than 600 years ago on TNG! Good luck!"

"Good luck to you too!"

Several beeps and transporter FX later.

"He's alive. ALIVE!"

"Ok, that's good. But... Uhhh... Don't you think there was somewhere an error with old data in the programming. He looks so ... different."

"There are bigger problems in the universe than looking suddenly like Dr.Pulaski. Let's try it again."

"MRMPF!!!"

Jackson: Steve, if nothing else, I can put a call into Cybertech... have then send repair nanites to the ship. That should give us the latest technology...
All those challenges and trials for nothing.
Butrfli: Not for nothing, my darling. This helped us face our greatest fears and worries. My encounter with the wizard was based on my fear that somebody from my home dimension would try to recapture me. As for your your encounter with the redshirts, I suppose you had to face them someday...

I could've had it all...

Interstellar upgrades, I promised them, would last forever, and we would've been the only company doing it.

We could've controlled the overhead, we could have cut our losses...but they only looked for the short-term.

Gads...

Yesterday a CEO, tomorrow manager at the Chish and Fips.

That's life, I guess. Goodbye Cybertec, it was fun while it lasted. You could've been one powerful corporation, now you're nothing...

knock knock

"Repo men, we've got to get this desk out of here."

No problem, guys.

Wow, it's a good thing for the LICC that it was Cybertec that went out of business, and not Cybertech.

"Well Lopez, whatever they did to you seems to have worked. Or maybe we're in a special, happy place that makes us temporarily immune. Or maybe..."

Names a few more unlikely possibilities before shutting up.

The former Cybertec, the former Cybertech, and the former Sibredek are subsidiaries of the former Happy Missing H Corporation, now defunct. Taxes and acquisition fees may apply. Must take delivery from dealer stock.

"All of which is endlessly fascinating, but I'm afraid I can't allow your peripatetic crew to drop in any time they feel like it. Although... perhaps he can be useful."

So this is what oblivion's like, is it? Funny, I expected something a bit more ethereal.

Wait, maybe I'm not dead. Must be like that DS9 episode, "Move Along Home".

Useful...how?

"I don't quite like the sound of that. What's your game, here, Dnar'af? I know this little maze jaunt wasn't really to test our abilities."

"Well, I mean useful in the manpower sense of the word. As you know, after your group fails a challenge, one of you is supposed to work with me directly. Obviously, one of you will have to do so now, but perhaps Mr. Lopez can join whomever that lucky person is."

Lopes shrugs. "Fine, I'll do whatever you say I need to do to help my crewmates, but under one condition. Get me something to wear that doesn't chafe!"

With a ZAP!, Lopez is restored to his normal pilot's uniform. Dnar'af then addresses the group.

"Now, then, I feel I should commend you all for the way you handled the maze. Most of you responded adriotly, and I was able to pick up lots of interesting information about you, both as a group, and as individuals. My quest is nearing completion, though much still needs to be done and the path now grows more trecherous. I must warn you that these next tasks have the capacity for much more danger than what you have faced previously.

"That said, I am going to split you into two groups. Both groups will be looking for pieces of the same thing: the Zorotaxian Scepter." A representation of the jeweled scepter appears in front of the group.

"The scepter is comprised of four segments, each about one-third of your meters in length. It is highly ornate, especially the top piece." The apparation changes to a detail of the scepter's top, which features a hexagonally-cut saphhire set in a silver plate.

"The pieces are scattered hither and yon, but my work with the Rune has allowed me to track down their locations. Commander, you will be relieved to note that the acquisition of the pieces does not require theft, though a little archaeological work may be in order. Furthermore, each of the pieces is most likely gaurded by ancient traps, and perhaps even magical creatures immune to all but the most powerful of magic. I'm sure you all will enjoy it tremendously.

"In the meantime, Mr. Lopez will be assisting Ms. Butrfli in a related but slightly different affair. Now, without further ado, I believe we should depart... you'll forgive me if I use a little creative manuevering in transporting everyone to their next locations; despite what it may appear, I cannot be in several places at once. Is everyone ready?"

ZAP!

Team A finds themselves amidst a stretch of rocky hills. They have arrived shortly after dawn, and a cool breeze sweeps the air around them as the sky they are under begins to turn blue.

The heroes look about them and determine that they are comprised of five people- Milkshake, Jackson, Jadlad, Insane, and Artsy. Dnar'af appears before them, and gestures over the hills behind him.

"Over this ridge is a small village. The people here are much less-advanced than any you have come across before, even in your first task. Using the human scale of development, one might say they are in the early stages of their Bronze Age. What they do not know is that their village has been planted directly over the enterance to a series of caves that ultimately holds one of the pieces of the Scepter. Your task is to infiltrate the village, find the enterance, and make your way through the caves until you have the scepter. Once you do, I will transport you to your next task, and I will upgrade your ship's sickbay, as was promised in the previous challenge.

"You will, no doubt want to know how to blend in with the inhabitants. Unfortunately, you do not have anyone who can read their minds or the like, so I have prepared something of a crash course in their culture." He hands over a loosely-bound sheaf of papers. "Hopefully, this should answer enough of your questions and enable you to get through the village. Is there anything else, or should I let you get to it?"

Group B (Keiran, Alex, Enesky, and Rikard) materializes on a stretch of beach on a tropical island*, facing a desolate ocean. The sun beats down somewhat incessantly, and despite the beah-front location, the humidity is quite ferocious.

Dnar'af gestures at the open sea.

"Behold the ruins of a once-great civilization. Like the Atlanteans of your Earth mythology, these people, too, found the cruel promise of fate lying at the bottom of the sea.

"However, when their civlization perished, they were in posession of one of the pieces of the Scepter, and now you must locate it. I realize that this is no easy task, but you do have some things working in your favor. For example, if you look behind you..."

The group does, and is stunned to see the hulking ruins of a great city.

"This is part of what used to be their capital city. As a highly-prized relic, it's likely that the piece of the Scepter would be here. Only one-fifth of the city remains above the surface, however, not all of the city's infrastructure- their underground transit, for example- is submerged. I feel quite confident that you will be able to locate the piece of the Scepter through a diligent search. By retrieving it, you will earn the ship a bright, shiny new interior- in effect I will be modernizing the crew spaces and most of the ship's functional space, though not the underlying technology. Any questions?"

* Note: the groups are getting their instructions at different times, but if I had to wait for responses before I plowed forward, this would take forever. So just roll with it. Thanks.

Butrfli and Lopez find themselves at the bottom of a canyon, not all that unlike the Grand Canyon in Arizona. A wide river is cutting through the grey and red rock, and the heroes can see raging rapids in both directions.

Dnar'af gestures downstream a bit.

"You're standing near where it all began. You're on the planet of Zorotaxa, now an uninhabited and forgotten footnote in the annals of the universe. Further down the canyon, you will come across what will no doubt appear to be a somewhat unexpected sight: a completely smoothed-out rock face with a bank of windows high up in the canyon wall. In the heyday of the Zorotaxians, it was quite an important center, but now..." Dnar'af wistfully gazes towards where the promised facility lies.

"There is an opening at the base of the cliffs where you should be able to get inside. The problem is that said opening was built many millenia ago, and no doubt the floor of the canyon has sunk somewhat in that time. However, no doubt those wings of yours should be able to help in some respect. At any rate, you need to enter the complex and search it- thorougly. I believe there is someone inside who is being held in a sort of magical suspended animation. You need to find her, and work to counteract the spell she is under. Your task, Mr. Lopez, will be to deal with any... complications that may arise. I will not be able to join you inside, but we will still be keeping an open line of communication." He produces two camera pins that affix to the heroes' outfits.

"These will allow me to keep an eye on what you're seeing, as well as serving as a two-way communication link. Ready to get underway?"

A random crewman (coincidentally named Crewman Random) enters the bridge carrying a notebook.

Crewman Random: "Commander! Commander!"

Adon: "Yes, crewman?"

Crewman Random: "I believe that we have a way to solve our propultion problems!"

Adon: "Let me see."

The crewman hands Adon the notebook, and he looks over the information written on the page.

Adon: "That is an excellent idea. Begin working on it immediately."

Milkshake's group leafs through the 'report'

Strangers generally accepted...crossroads for races. Natives...eat through nostrils. Well, we just won't eat in front of anyone. Only use left hand for tasks....they like to practice a form of martial art...

The rest of the group look through and murmur...and finally Milkshake looks up to Dnar'af.

I think we're good. Let's get at it.

"Good luck, then, Commander."

And Dnar'af leaves.

Rikard pulls out a pair of sunglasses and his recently acquired rifle.

"Well then," he says, "I guess we should start looking. Hey Dnar'af, you wouldn't be willing to turn this flashlight back into a lightsaber, would you?"

An entire alien race that sticks peas up their noses??? This I gotta see!

{Jackson glances at the report.}
They also appear to have four arms... Do we want to blend in with the natives, or do we get costumes of different species? The holosystems of my suit can extend to everybody if needed...

Alex: So how are going to do this? Explore as a group, or explore individually, or what?

Butrfli: Well, Grant, are you ready to get going?

Dnar'af takes the flashlight from Rikard.

"I may not be able to fully restore this... the Force isn't my speciality. However, I believe I can give a close approximation."

He takes the flashlight in his hands and concentrates for a moment. One ZAP! and flash of light later, it has turned into a rather crude looking lightsaber. Dnar'af flicks it on to test it, and a blue-green blade shoots out.

"This will have to do." He deactivates it and returns it to Rikard.

"Hmm, different color, but it works. Thanks Dnar'af." Rikard turns to Alex.

"I think that it would be best if we split into to groups. That way we could cover more ground but still have a good chance if we ran into any...." He looks toward the ruins, "problems."

Lopez shrugs. "Ready as I'll ever be. I don't really know anything about magic. It was the least popular course at the Academy behind Extremely Advanced Mathematics."

It would probably be best if we paired off. Who's going with who then, Josh?

Space and time rippled, and then shredded itself entirely as the Spidership forced its way through reality. The ship looked reletively normal, except for the large propeller that was mounted on the rear of the ship that looked more at home on an ocean liner than a space ship.

Onboard the ship...
Hey! That worked! Now, where are we?

The helmsman turned around.
Ensign Sylabus: "We're closer to the Earth, but we're in uncharted space. We're on the outer edge of a planetary system."

Set course for the planet. Maybe they can help us while the engines recharge.

Ensign Sylabus: "About those engines..."

An explosion rocked the ship as the new Eather Impellor overheated and melted down.

Ensign Sylabus: "The technobabble generator's output was too much for the engines to handle. We're stuck here. And to make matters worse, we don't have any spare parts to make repairs."

Well, at least we're closer to home than we were. I'm sure that Dnar'af is going to shower us with wine and roses for what we've done.

I bet he has a coronary, if space/time weirdoes can get them.

*turns away from the others and snickers*

We'd better not use your holoarmor, Jackson. Using it that much would drain your batteries in a big way. We'll just act the parts of the harmless stranger and try to stay out of anyone's way.

Deglado is manning Tactical.

"Sir, should I engage the cloak?"

But before Adon can reply, there is the trademark ZAP! and a slightly peeved Dnar'af appears on the bridge.

Okay, make that more than slightly peeved. Perhaps borderline enraged. No, definitely not border--

"OF ALL THE IMPUDENT TRICKS! AN EATHER IMPELLOR DRIVE?!? DID YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO WORK, OR THAT I WAS GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH IT? WHAT POSSIBLY COULD HAVE BEEN RUNNING THROUGH YOUR FEBRILE BRAIN TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!?!?!?"

Dnar'af takes a deep breath.

"And the thing that interests me most, Commander, is how your beloved leader seems to care so much about the morals associated with his job. And yet, here you are, the second officer, trying to go behind my back AND RENEGE ON A DEAL THAT WAS MADE IN GOOD FAITH! I, THE SUPPOSED MONSTER OF THIS SCENARIO, HAVE KEPT EACH AND EVERY PART OF THE BARGAIN ON MY END WHILE WORKING TO MAKE SURE YOUR CREWMEMBERS CAME TO NO HARM, AND IN RETURN YOU ATTEMPT TREACHERY AND BETRAYAL... Some superhero you are."

Dnar'af calms again and assumes a more dignified posture.

"Now... I haven't done anything to you for your past transgressions. But more stunts like this, and I'll start to remove the technology I've previously placed, starting with that cloaking device you were all that eager to deploy. Do you have any problems with that?"

Hmmm...

(removes his Starfleet-style uniform with the cape and the I on the front, so he's down to his Voyager-style Nondescript Purple Shirt)

Now I'll look less conspicuous. Now, where should I stick my uniform?

Looks like we've been doing well enough without you, Barf. You've got our friends off in Baraq-knows-what danger while you feed us a bit of obsolete tech at a time, then whine and complain when we manage to take care of our technical problems ourselves. Why don't you go and look for someone your own size to push around? Maybe Commander Adon might indulge you. He hasn't confronted you for the sake of the crew, but I bet you'd find yourself wayy over your head if he did.

"If by 'well-enough,' you mean bumbling with one of the more dangerous forms of antiquated space travel and getting yourselves stuck in another uncharted region of space, then I'd agree with you. And if the fact that the technological upgrades I'm giving you are on the same level as what you had before somehow means they're 'antiquated,' I'm sorry, but I don't really think you're going to be able to get much better.

"As for the all-powerful Adon, I'm sure the restraint and tact he's showing now will be enough to get him enshrined in whatever superhero's hall of fame you may have, but as I said before, if I really thought his sword would do any damage to me, I'd already have invited him to use it, and besides, I'm sure he'd really love risking the abandonment of this ship's eleven most valuable officers in some far-off pockets of the galaxy just to prove his virility. In the meantime, Ensign, if you don't have anything at all helpful or original to say, I suggest you concentrate instead on not getting this ship blown to smithereens the next time you decide to test a new engine."

Ha, I've done maitenence on the junk you've sent us. It may be at the 'same technological level', but you could pick up better equipment at Star-Bargains back on Earth.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you a user's manual, but I would have thought you would know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. But as my expectations of this crew are constantly being lowered, perhaps I won't be quite as surprised in the future."

Tell you what. Bring back our crewmates, take back the junk you brought us, we'll go on our merry way and you can-utters foul Bijianian curse.

Kay? smiles sweetly.

"A charming offer. But if you think I'm about to led the delusional grandeur of some hybridized half-wit distract me from my mission, you're going to be waiting a while."

Delusional grandeur? That's a new twist on an old one. Did you learn Terran in a pretzel factory or are you still stuck on level one of Mavis Beacon Teaches Alien Morons Proper Language?

"And once you've learned your 517th language, perhaps then I'll come back and critique your turns of phrase."

Ooh, he's well-read. Well, Mr. Flour-Paste, I'd love to stay and chat but I have worthwhile business to perform on this ship, hopefully setting up some kind of intruder-disintegrator that doesn't trip your They're Escaping My Grasp-alarm.

With that, the half-Bijianian ensign leaves the bridge

Milkshake's team enters the village and looks around. Jackson, glancing at the buildings, notices something.
Steve, I've been scanning the buildings with my helmet sensors, and I've picked up something strange from that building over there.
Jackson points to a small building near them with his left hand
It seems to be hollow and covering something...

Alex's group:
Alex: I can go with Josh.

Butrfli and Grant:
After a couple of hours of walking, the two heroes reach the part of the canyon Dnar'af told them about.
Butrfli: Imagine all those people living here...I bet it was spectacular in its day. Look, I see the doorway! It is pretty high up, but I think I can get the two of us up there...

Adon sat in the Captain's chair during the whole exchange and watched the verbal jabbing, almost with bemusement.

I'm sure that Commander Milkshake would agree with my decision, seeing as how there are problems on the Earth that require our attention. Or perhaps you were just waiting for the right moment to step in and solve all the problems there. Not to mention everything else that is going on while we twittle our thumbs out here in the middle of nowhere.

Or should we just sit around and let everything fall apart back on Earth as we wait for you to kindly return our equipment to full working order, considering we can do something to stop it.

Adon spun the chair around so that his back was turned on Dnar'af.

And since I wasn't part of your little agreement, nor was I given any orders to strictly adhere to your wishes, I will run this ship in the way that I see fit. For both the crew's best interest, and the Galaxy in general. If the Commander disagrees with my decisions, he can tell me in person. If not, then kindly get the grath off of my bridge.

Commander, I strongly resent your assertion that conditions are 'falling apart' on Earth. The Master Program, from the first processor cycles of its assuming administration of the OmniNet, has taken upon itself the duty to make the running of Earth's public and private systems more logical and efficent. The only problems faced have resulted from the actions of irrational humans.

Grant puts his hand on butrfli's shoulder. "Whoa, easy. I know what that, guy, said, but it wouldn't hurt ot make sure this isn't a trap. Better paranoid then dead."

Good point, Grant.
Butrfli closes her eyes and begins to chant a reveal traps spell. When she opens them again, nothing has changed.
It seems to be alright. Let me do a quick cleanup anyway...
She chants again, this time a localized dispell traps spell. An odd light appears from her wand and flies from the wand in a circular pattern. when the last of the light reaches the canyon walls and floors, she stops.
If there were any traps I couldn't detect, that spell should get rid of them.

"I hope you're right. So, you can carry me up there? You're certainly stornger than you look. Is that a trait of your race? I've only ever heard rumors about the Avariel. Until you came aboard I didn't even think they existed."

A short while later, Milkshake's group sprints out of the suspicious building, covered in very light, feathery-like scales.

Underground chicken coops. What will they think of next? Um, new solution. Entrance to a cave, entrance to a cave...

Milkshake clicks his gloved fingers together in the approximation of a snap, then points straight ahead. The town well.

That should be a straight, deep shaft. One way to get into an underground complex. But how will we get down there without anyone noticing?

Rikard gives Enesku an annoyed look when she turns away before he turns to the others, keeping his voice down.

"Okay, I think that you and I should split up," indicating Keiran, "but I want to keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't blow anything up or something. So, Alex, you're with Keiran. Enesku!" he says a little more forcefully, "You're with me. Let's start looking for this thing. We'll meet back here in three hours or until one of the groups finds something, understood everyone?"

Jadlad with an idea.

Milkshake, I could dimension hop you all down there with me.

It'd take me two trips...hmmm...three max.

The only problem I can think of with that idea though would be hiding the flash of light that appears when I dimension hop.

Looking back.

I suppose I could do it from that underground chicken coop. That should hide it. If everyone doesn't mind getting covered in feathery scales again.

Jackson: I also thought about the well, but it seemed so obviously a hiding place that I didn't give it a look...

Alex: Come on, Kieran, let's get going. Should we check the main area, or find a way underwater and search?

Butrfli: So what have you heard about my people?
We do tend to have lighter bones, like birds do. It helps with flight. As for getting you up there, I could do an anti-gravity spell, one for making you lighter, or a flying spell on you...

ZAP!

Dnar'af leaves without another word, although his vanishing creates a wake what spins Adon around a few times.

"Um..." Delgado ventures. "Sir, did you want the cloak activated?"

We'd better start with these ruins, Alex. If they have any sort of written language, I might be able to figure it out well enough to find which building used to be what.

"I know that technically I outrank you, but you should just use your best judgement on that call."

Milkshake starts walking towards the well

Let's check it out first, Jad. Wouldn't be best if you hopped us into 60 feet of icy water and there's no cave entry down there.

Following Milkshake.

Sorry, you're right. Wasn't thinking. I'm just anxious to get this over and done with.

Alex: Sounds good. Let's try that one first. It seems to be in pretty good shape. Alex points to a nearby ruin

Jackson looks over at Milkshake, raises an amused eyebrow and smiles
What, you don't want a cold bath? I don't blaim you, old friend.

Butrfi: I'll make you lighter. That should make you easier to carry up there. You may feel a bit strange in a moment...
Butrfli begins chanting, and moments later, Lopez begins to feel the effect, feeling more light on his feet. When Butrfli stops chanting, she takes to the air, grabs Lopez, and flies both of them to the doorway, which happens to be open. She sets him down carefully, and his lightness disappears. They both stare into the dimly lighted interior.
Butrfli: I think I can throw a little light on this subject.
With a wave and word, her wand begins glowing at the end, projecting a light much like a flashlight.
So what happened to you on the Supermodel ship anyway?

Well that's odd. Sort of bucks the stereotypical town well design.

Once the heroes draw near, they see the well is much wider than they had thought, indeed, some of the townspeople are walking down into it, pails in hand. Once they get even closer, they see a staircase set into the shaft, spiraling its way down into the well, which seems to drop incredibly deeply into the bowels of the...planet.

Let's find a bucket and start on down, then.

By all means, activate the cloak.

But just as the cloak came online, a message came from the planet.

Message: "Attention unknown ship: This is a planetary distress call. We are in desperate need of assistance. Our population is under siege from a group of incompitant superheros. Please, assist us. We are willing to give you almost anything you ask, so please help us. Repeating... Attention unknown ship"

Well, does anyone have any objections to helping them out?

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"I don't see any reason why we shouldn't. We can still get to the planet easily enough. Maybe we should find out how powerful these superheroes are, lest we get in over our heads."

If I am still considered a member of this crew, I see no problems with such a plan. The populace may have goods or equipment to trade in exchange for assistance, and the current lack of FTL propulsion makes our position tenuous at best.

"Glad you approve. Although, the matter of your being on the crew is a little vauge. I mean, if this was the original Colanator, I don't think there would be a problem. But a copy? I don't know what the rules are here."

My personality program and my very conciousness has been copied without error into this receptacle. I am Colanator.

"So you say. But the original program isn't exactly earning hosannahs back on Earth... or are we to think that your... er... his... er... its? Takeover of the OmniNet was completely conentual and legal?

To put it mildly, yes. The OmniNet before the Master Program seized control had a formidable intelligence, but no sentience. Therefore consent was not needed. As for legality, there are a multitude of laws regarding the distribution of virii, worms, trojans, chimes, embedded clips, and beams, but none regarding a consciousness itself. If anything, the Terran Navy is at fault for uploading the Master Program.

"Yes, but now that you're in control of so much material, I'm sure you'd be running into laws about 'thou shalt not have access to this material, period.'"

Humans and other biological beings, yes. Such laws are explicitly stated to apply to biological beings after the case of Fridley vs. Blaine, 2774. However, electronic sentience was not anticipated at that time.

I wonder what the natives know about the well...
Jackson notices a man walking away from the well and calls him to the group.
Excuse me, sir. What do you know about the well? We're strangers to your town, and notice that the townspeople are able to enter the well...

Butrfli: It was that bad an experience, I take it?
Butrfli shines her wand around the large space. Along one wall are several doors, and the other wall are the windows they spied. Furniture of all sorts are spaced here and there, and very old magazines in a strange alien language are lying on tables.
It looks like this was lobby or something.

"Yeah looks like." He checks the numbered dates on the magazines. "Must've been a dentist's office." "Why do you say that?" "Because the mags are older than the table."

The man looks at Jackson oddly

How else would they get the water out of the well?

Jackson: Could you please tell us about the well? We've never seen one of this design before. Does it go down far? Does it lead to caves, and if so, have they ever been explored?

Butrfli: Grant, I can whip up a spell that would allow us to read not only the magazines, but any other writing that we come across in here...

"If you think that'll work go ahead. The Danaraf guy let me kep my stun blaster, so assumign we don't get attakced by anyone wearing body armor we should be able to find this person he was talking about. Do you have a spell that can detect and track other magics?"

Aren't you the curious shalza? I really don't know how far it goes, my wife fetches the water for our house. And if it ever were to lead to caves, people have forgotten about it by now. They stopped finding precious metals in the hills a long time ago.

Jackson: Thank you, sir, for the infomation. You have been quite helpful.
Turning to the others Did you catch all that?

Butrfli: Of course. For recent magic, it covers an entire area, for older magic, only to about 50 feet in all directions...
she chants again, and a few minutes later, the pair are able to understand the titles of the articles and the signs on the wall. Butrfli glances at one.
I think we're in more of a research facility then a dentist's office, Grant...Hold on.. I'm getting something...it's faint, so we'll have to make a search out of it, but I'm getting something...that way! Pointing to a set of doors Let's go!

By this time, Alex and Kieran have arrived at the ruin and begin exploring.
What do you think? Private residence of some sort?

"No...looks almost like a public building of some sort...no writing, anywhere. Pictographs, hieroglyphs, markings, nothing. This could have been a telepathic, or olfactic, or simply non-linguistic civilization. Let's try down here--"

A search for nearly an hour turns up only mystery. It is nearly impossible for the group to comphrehend what most of the structures were used for, and indeed no symbolic language is to be found anywhere.

"All right. Let's try this differently. Where's the tallest structure in this city? Let's start there."

Tallest structure? I have no idea... after so much time, the tallest building could be rubble by now... it could also be underwater...What we need is a map.

Ok then. Set a course for the planet, but keep our cloak up, just in case.

The spidership started moving towards the planet. Meanwhile, a comm link was established with the planet. They were connected to the planet's leader, Prime Minister Mou.

We recieved your message, and we are willing to help you. But first, can you send us some information on this group?

Mou: "Of course! Anything for someone willing to help us!"

A video clip appeared on the screen of five people wearing bright colored spandex outfits with matching plastic helmets. Each one had a different color. A voice narrated the video.

Voice: "We don't know who they are, or where they came from. But when they first arrived, they were welcome here."

Shots of monsters terrorizing the planet came on screen with the group beating them up with rediculas looking martial arts or with cheap looking weapons.

Voice: "Our planet was attacked by more and more powerful monsters and they defended it.

Now, giant monsters towered over the city, and the group either combined their weapons into one big one and took out the monster, or they appeared with an equally giant robot to fight the monsters.

Voice: "The attackers were eventually driven away, but they remained to fight evil."

Now the clips changed to the group fighting various crimes with the same level of violence they showed against the monsters, but the crimes themselves got more and more insignificant. Before too long, they were blowing up people jaywalking, or changing lanes without using a turn signal.

Voice: "We once welcomed them, but now we want them to leave."

A stern figure appeared on the screen with a flag waving behind him. He resembed the old Uncle Sam posters from 1000 years ago on Earth.

Voice: "I WANT YOU to help rid us of this problem!"

And with that, the video ended.

They look like the Power Rangers.
Adon muttered to himself.

Mou: "What did you say?!"

Nothing. Forget it. We'll help you with them. Just let us know where you want us to land, and we'll be all set.

The channel was closed as the Spidership entered orbit.

They look like pushovers, considering who we've faced before.

They are courageous, asking one unknown group to save them from another.

I don't know if it courage, or desperation at this point.

Well, Colanator, I want you to stay here and try and get as many repairs on the ship as you can. All I ask is that you don't interface with the main computer like you did with the Omninet.

All right, everyone who's going down, report to the main hanger in five minutes. We'll have to take a shuttle down since the transporters are still out of order.

I will not be able to accomplish much, remaining in this receptacle.

We should have a robot body somewhere around here that we can upload you to. Delgado, I want you to get Colanator a body to use. I'm leaving you in command.

With that, Adon, any anyone else on the bridge who was going planetside, stepped into the elevator and went down to the main hanger.

Rikard and Enesku search in a small structure, mostly intact but without a roof. It is closer to the ocean than any of the other still dry structures sitting west, or at least the direction that the planet's star seems to be heading to set, of the main city. Rikard searches through the collapsed roof, but finds only rock and dirt. With a sigh, he stands.

"I don't know what this structure was for, but I doubt it has what we're looking for. Let's try somewhere-" then the floor underneath him collapses. He falls a few feet, landing in water. It's fairly shallow, only reaching his waist. He almost immediately stands and sees that he's standing in a large underground chamber.

"Interesting."

"It is, isn't it? This city was once used for grand works involving sentience and nature."

The one called Quinn is comfortably seated, crosslegged, in a deep wall sconce within the chamber.

"A body, eh? Well... Considering the level of technology we have right now, that's probably going to be tough. I mean, Commander Adon's right, we should have some robot bodies lying around, but they may not be much more complex than what you're in right now. But, let's stroll down to the robot shop and see what they've got. Ensign Wells, you have the bridge. Keep close tabs on the away team, and call me if they run into any problems."

Delgado looks at Colanator.

"I'll have to carry you down there, won't I?"

(to Jackson) Yeah, I got that, but is it very helpful?

That would be inadvisable. This receptacle masses in excess of 340 kilos. However, I can be directed using an antigravity sled, if there are any left unaffected by the obsoloscence effect.

"There aren't, I don't think. Oh! I know!" Delgado goes to a storage closet and finds a flatbed dolly buried in the back, which he wheels out. He manages to scrape together a few redshirts who help him lift Colanator onto said dolly, and he wheels the sphere off the bridge to the Robot Lab.

=/\=
I'm happy to report that Mr.Plevyak has fully recovered. After a few weeks of intense counseling he will be probably able to resume duty again.
=/\=

Lt. Delgado, during the mission to Alt-Terra, there was a robotic body created by a traitorous officer to house a copy of my consciousness, which she planned to use to conquer the relatively primitive planet. Suceeding that mission, the robotic body was seized and given a memory wipe, and then stored in Engineering Equipment Bay 3-C. If it was relatively unaffected by the obsolescence effect, it should provide ample housing for my consciousness, as well as the mobility and facility needed to perform repair works.

Actually, yes. We know there there is a water source down there, possibly meaning the caverns we're looking for are there too.

"Ah. Then Engineering it is." Delgado rerouts the turbolift to Engineering.

"We'll have to make sure the previous personality is totally wiped before we transfer you in."

It was. I oversaw the memory deletion myself. I would trust no one else to do so, since in effect, I was destroying myself.

"Fair enough." The turbolift arrives in Engineering, and Delgado wheels Colanator over to Equipment Bay 3-C. He opens it up and peers inside.

"Ah, here she is," Delgado observes, reaching in and hauling out the body, which doesn't look all that much worse for wear, although its skin looks a bit more metallic than realistic.

"Any particular place you'd like me to set her?"

And then the body jerks in Delgado's hands. The lieutenant instinctively drops it, but the bulky, clunky robotic body puts out three of its multidirectional hands and stops its fall, then sets itself gently on its treads and draws to its full, rather impressive height. Several lights on the torso begin to blink as every joint in the construct begins to flex in turn.

Running diagnostics...complete. Very little damage. This is ideal. Modular design, allows for modifications.

The head turns towards Delgado, the black flat optical sensors staring lifelessly at him.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

"Don't mention it," Delgado says, trying not to look taken aback. Does that give you enough functionality?"

The construct extends one of its arms, which splits open to reveal several smaller tools, pincers, grippers, blades, and one of which emits the bright blue flare of a plasma torch.

Completely.

"Well, good. Okay, anything you'd care to tackle first?"

Yes. The Eather Impellor Drive motors, if salvaged, should provide ample material to create a rudimentary ray-point extractor, which would enable us to create a more advanced force emitter, which if integrated into the sensor arrays would form shield rails, which would provide defensive shields, navigational deflection and emergency force fields for hull coverage.

Technobabble Alert!

All hands! Technobabble Alert!

This not a drill!

"A lot of the Impellor coils were fused, so I hope you don't need too many of them. We can start in the starboard nacelle- that's where we started building the drive."

Excellent.

They leave, one walking, one rolling.

"OK, but let's go in LAPD style." "Find an innocent black man and shoot him to death?" "No, no, that's NYPD style. I mean we go in weapons drawn, and at a low crouch. Clear the room, then move on to the next one if we don't find anything."

Many buildings after the first one, Alex and Keiran are no further along in their search. Nor have they found an entrance to the underground.

"These ruins seem almost artificial," Keiran remarks, "but why any creature would const--"

They are about to enter a new structure, when something knocks them to the ground. The two are back on their feet in a second, but the same unknown force again sends them sprawling, and continues to roar over their heads. A gale-force wind, in a clear hot day. The wind dies down once again, like it never had existed.

Alex: It looks like somebody doesn't want us in there... I wonder both why they don't, and how they did that wind thing.

Butrfli: Sounds like a plan. Of course, you are security around here...

The shuttlecraft gently landed in a city park, and Prime Minister Mou waiting for them. He was standing outside of the park next to a car. The group exited the shuttle and walked over to him.

Mou: "I'm glad to see you're here! I chose this spot because it will attract their attention! Well, have fun! BYE!!!"

When he started talking, it was at a fairly normal pace. But after the first sentence, his speech sped up dramatically, and after the final "BYE!!!," he jumped into the waiting car, which sped off.

Well, that was rude...
Just them, some cheezy action music started playing.
And where is that music coming from?

One of the characters from the video appeared. He was wearing red spandex and a matching plastic helmet. What was really odd about his entrance was that he seemed to just drop into the frame from the sky rather than actually fly in or a similar effect.

The red superhero pointed at the group.

"HALT, EVIL DOERS!"

What are you talking about.

"SILENCE VILLIAN! You have illegally parked that strange vehical in a public park, and it hasn't been checked out for polution controls either, I bet."

Each word he spoke was accented by the person making some sort of martial arts move, making for a rather odd scene.

Umm... we were asked to land here, and our ship produces no harmful emission in an atmosphere.

"You're pleas for mecry fall on deaf ears, villian!"

What pleas?

"Now you will pay the price for your crimes! BURST ELECTRONS!!!"

The character reached somewhere behind him and pulled out a pair of silver colored guns and fired rather large blue energy beams at Adon. When the flash and dust cleared, Adon was gone, along with a stretch of park and a piece of the city itself.

"Let that be a lesson to you."

The bizarre character jumped into the air and out of sight. As soon as he vanished, Adon crawled out of the rubble of a building across the street.

I wasn't expecting that. This may be more trouble than I though.

Commander, are you all right?

Ceffiree picks her way through the debris and helps Adon to his feet.

Scumsuckers. I think we know how these negotiations will go, now.

I'm fine, thank you.

Mou: "I hope you see what we've been going through!"

Adon and Ceffiree both jumped, since neither one heard or saw Mou walk up behind them.

Mou: "You should be glad that you didn't meet all of them at once! Thankfully the damage was limited to this small area!"

What do you mean by 'this small area?' We wiped out half a city block, at least.

Adon pointed to the now undamaged city block behind him.

Ahh...

Mou: "Oh, that's nothing to worry about! We've hired the same company that rebuilds Tokyo after each Godzilla attack!"

I see.

Waait....how do you know what Tokyo, or Godzilla, for that matter, is? We're thousands of light-years from Earth!

And stop shouting.

I'm terribly sorry about the shouting! Its just that I have a rare disease! I have no control over the volume of my voice!

I'm sure that you are curious about our knowlage of the Earth, but that is very easy to explain!... A ship carrying the workers bound to rebuild another planet accidently crashed here years ago! They couldn't repair their ship, sicne their skills are in building construction, and not shipbuilding!

Oh, and those other people who came with you can come over here! They don't have to stay by your ship!

I think they're scared. Hold on.

Ceffiree heads back to the shuttle and the frightened clot of redshirts and yellowshirts.

Rikard is more than a little surprised.

"Quinn? What in the world are you doing here? Especially underground on this planet. Do you know Dnar'af?"

(Enesku jumps in)

Hey, if I'd known we were going swimming, I'd have worn my swimsuit instead of my scale armor.

So where do we go from here?

"I know of him. And you are curious as to why I am here. It is because I am curious about you. So I follow you. Occasionally, I see things, clues to your hidden nature, and that of your friends. If I think it is useful to you, I may perhaps tell you.

Following the appearance of the strange wind, Kerian decides to check again to see if he can identify the building he and Alex are trying to enter. There doesn't seem to be any markings outside that would be helpful, but rooting around in the debris at the building's base, Alex finds a brass plaque inscribed in an alien language. Keiran studies it for a moment. It's not quite enough to get a full translation, but he is quite positive that one of the words is "Museum."

"All right, you're right, something is trying to keep us out of here. Time to try something. Alex, get close to me, and crouch down, you don't want to lose vital parts of your anatomy."

Keiran closes his eyes, and suddenly Alex can hear an audible hum in the air. He looks about in alarm, waiting for the mysterious wind to reemerge, but it does not. Suddenly, the two are engulfed of a sphere of blue energy, which seems to even penetrate the ground.

"Okay, stick real close and walk real low."

They crouch-walk towards the entryway of the building again. With a frenzied howl, the wind envelopes them again, but they can feel nothing inside their shield of energy. The wind batters itself against them, but they feel nothing as they draw closer to the building, and finally, enter. As they cross the threshold, the wind dies off, and after a moment Keiran dissolves the shield.

"Sssheew. All right, Alex, see if there's anything interesting, I'll keep watch."

The room into which Alex and Keiran have entered is rather spacious, with grand staircases leading up and a high ceiling that has collapsed. There are various rooms that connect to this foyer, all in various stages of distress. In the center, there is a pedastal upon which Alex finds what appears to be a map of the complex at large.

What was that wind? A security device of some sort? If it is, there could be a way to turn it off...
With that, Alex unclips the flashlight hanging from his belt and turns it on. before the heroes is a large enclosed courtyard with several doors leading to various places. In the center of the room is a large statue of a strange alien being. Along one wall is the remains of what was once an information desk, but time and a falling ceiling has destroyed part of it. Alex points to the statue and says
What do you think? Real image of the natives, or just art?

MUHAHAHA!

"Good question. Here, it looks like there's a paper or something wedged underneath this statue, give me a hand, will you?"

With Alex's help, and a bit of magical enhancement to his strength, they lift the statue clear of the pedestal just enough so that Keiran can snatch the paper free.

"A map...I think. What do you make of this?"

It should be noted that the pedastal is located behind the statue currently in question above.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Alex approaches the statue, which is standing next to the map, and begins reading the plaque, which he is somehow able to read.
Kieran, according to this, it's a representation of one of the forces of the universe... one Darth Simultaneous Posts... I think we've encounted him once or twice ourselves...

I'm suprised it lasted this long...
Alex takes the map from Kieran.
I think it's a metal of some kind...

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I could probably make a hat, or a paper airplane or a crane...I'm good at origimi...

I don't think even original TOS had this many continuity errors.

eats some popcorn

"No, really, I don't want to keep re-doing this #@$%&! over and over again! Can you get a script and stick with it, please? What? Oh, that does it! I quit!"

And with that, he ran off in a huff.

"What?!"

Keiran takes a close look at the plaque.

thIIS iZ rePRREsanT0n oF daRT sim7ateos pOST$

"No, no, Alex, it only looks like Terran Standard. It's...something like...'what we o...once were'...something like that."

"Okay... are you sure this is what you want me to read? Yes? Okay..."

"As Keiran and Alex- what?" *rustling of paper* "Okay, this is it? Okay."

"Keiran and Alex observe the various maps they have uncovered. They speak of many above-ground exhibit halls, although our heroes cannot tell what was being shown at the time of the museum's destruction. More interesting, though, is the indication of several underground areas for both exhibition, and artifact storage..."