*ahem*

LAST TIME ON LICC...

Our six-month storyline, quite possibly, almost over? Could it be possible? Stay tuned!

"No," Dnar'af says, in reply to Rikard. "The only thing I knew for sure was on the Yquitar was the piece of the Sceptre. Anything else, I cannot explain, nor identify."

He turns to Milkshake.

"Very good, but what of Suianen? Have you revived her?"

Yep.

Butrfli has wandered out, wanting to speak to Dnar'af. At the same time, Jackson has squeezed his way out of the ship, and the two of the see each other. They rush to each other, and give each other big hugs and a big kiss.
Butrfli: I've missed you so much!
Jackson: I've missed you, too.
Butrfli: You should really see this place... it's amazing.
Dnar'af, Suianen has been revived. I don't know your true feelings towards her, but she loves you very much. She and Kieran are talking about that and other subjects inside. She has been waiting for several thousand years to be revived and to see you, so don't blow it. She just wants to be loved, adored, and treated well, just like any other creature in this or any other universe. Betray her trust, and there will be hell to pay.
Jackson: Where did that speech come from?
Butrfli: From spending time with Suianen and talking to her. She truly loves Dnar'af, and hopes that their being together will make him happy again.

"I knew that would have to deal with her in some fashion or another... but the time has not yet come. The Sceptre has not yet been fully restored. Only once that has been accomplished, can we proceed."

Then let's.

Milkshake holds out his hand for the last Sceptre piece.

Rikard hands it over.

"Here you go, sir."

And a little less than an hour later...

Suainen stares at the object in her hands. The last fragment having slipped into place with deceptive ease, the Sceptre begins to grow cold, unnaturally cold. Morgan stands by, watching closely.

"That's it, then?" he asks.

"Yes," Suianen replies. "It is complete." She stares at the Sceptre for a moment, watching the gem in the headpiece intently. Keiran does as well. He sees nothing, and after a while, he looks away. When he does, he notices that out of the corner of his eye, the gem seems to be lit from the inside with a light of some sort. When he puts his eyes directly on it again, he sees nothing, but a sidelong glance shows the gem is glowing steadily brigther.

After a time, Suainen declares, "It is ready."

Clutching the Sceptre in both hands Suianen brings it to a vertical position slightly above the floor, bows her head, and starts chanting. When she reaches the end of her chant, she slams the Spectre on the floor of the lab with great force, producing a magical shockwave that bursts out with incredible intensity.

Dnar'af and some of the remaining LICC are standing on the canyon floor when the shockwave approaches them, whips through them, and passes them in the blink of an eye. As the somewhat startled superheroes recover, Dnar'af starts to run to the lab enterance.

And as he enters, Keiran notices, and stands up.

"Welcome back. Now that we're close to the end of the game, I'd really like to say--"

And then Morgan's voice trails off as he sees that Suainen and Dnar'af are not listening anyway, but simply staring at the other after a separation of untold time...

"Well that was w-." He stops as he sees Dnar'af sprint for the cave entrance.

"I really hope that that's a sprint for love."
He takes off, also heading toward the cave.

Kieran, what's going on? What just happened with the Sceptre? You seem to be more in tune with it then I am...

"Ssh." He motions toward Suainen and Dnar'af, his unspoken warning clear.

Suianen hands the Sceptre over to Dnar'af. The gathered LICC members observe that the Sceptre just looks right in Dnar'af's hands, like no one else could possibly weild the artifact.

"Do you... do you still want to..." Suianen whispers after a time.

"Kill myself?" Dnar'af finishes. "I'm not sure."

"They'll try and stop you," she warns.

"I'm sure they would. But now that I have this, they never could."

"Think of it Dnar'af! We're free now... we can choose life!"

"I already have chosen life, my dear. I chose it for you. Think of it! Ganteen wanted me to wander for eternity, alive, and for you to languish here in limbo. If I die, and you live your full life, we can finally bury his legacy forever."

"But to what purpose? You can't--"

"Please... I've been living with this for thousands of years. I have seen, and done, far too much. It is time. Now, listen, I have something that you will need to do..."

"Dnar'af...think about this. Think about it. You're throwing away something far too precious to lose."

The words don't seem to be having an effect, so Morgan continues.

"Fine. Be completely selfish. You're not only hurting yourself, you're depriving someone very close to you of happiness and essentially sentencing her to a state of grief that will last a very, very long time. Look at you, you're alive, you're healthy, and you simply want to kill yourself because you're bored? And tired? You don't give a whit as to how Suainen feels about this? And all this just to spite an individual who turned to dust a long, long time ago?!"

Yawn. When did LICC become a chick-flick?

Emotions are boring. Let's see some [EXPLETIVE] blown up.

Dnar'af stares down Keiran.

"You seem to be under the misimpression that love triumphs over all obstacles. I can assure you that if it did, we wouldn't be in this scenario now.

"The only thing that matters is if Suianen understands my reasoning... and I think she does."

Her eyes now tearing up, Suianen nods.

"Very well." Dnar'af produces a small, green caplet from somewhere on his person, and without much fanfare, swallows it. "It is done. Suianen will return you to your ship and complete the repairs. Farewell, LICC... it's been a pleasure.

Various protests abound, but Dnar'af dismisses them all with a ZAP! that sends them back to the bridge of the Spidermobile. Lt. Delgado is sitting in the captain's chair when they arrive, and he leaps to attention.

"Welcome back!"

Delgado doesn't exactly get the same warmness in response. The returned crew seem as a whole confused, tired, and frustrated. Milkshake turns to Morgan.

That was it?

Morgan nods.

"That was it, he did it."

Milkshake shakes his head, and slumps into the command seat.

Shoot.

A three foot figure, wearing what appears to be Trojan style garb -- leather kilt, plumed helmet -- appears on the bridge. In addition, his face is completely black and "invisible" except for a large pair of eyes.

Shoot? Very well, Earthling.

Pulls out a gun and shoots Milkshake. Milkshake's suit is scorched and covered with soot, but other than that, he is unharmed.

There. Isn't that peachy? Hmmm? Now to get back to my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modula-tor. Delays, delays!

He vanishes.

Suianen (who seems to have wound up with the Sceptre) slumps for a moment, and then recovers.

"Well, Commander, I believe I have a ship to repair."

With that, she goes into chant mode again, which ends up being a lot like what she did after the Sceptre was repaired. After a long while, she slams the Sceptre down on the deck. Like before, a shockwave is produced off the end of the Sceptre, but this one moves somewhat slower than the one before, working its way methodically through the ship, transforming the antiquated technology into its glorious, modern form. Once the wave has finished, Suianen sighs and addresses Milkshake.

"I think you'll find everything in order. Safe journey, Commander... and thank you."

Taking up the Sceptre, Suianen vanishes with a ZAP!

She reappears back in the lab with Dnar'af.

"Finished already?" He inquires. Suianen nods, handing the Sceptre back over.

"Good." Dnar'af takes the Sceptre, and produces another green capsule similar to the one he swallowed earlier. "Breath mint?"

They both laugh, and then embrace for the first time in thousands of years. Free of their assorted curses, they prepare to live out their lives together...

Rikard runs his hand over the new, shiny, modern consoles that the Spidership had always boasted. After taking a few seconds to let it all sink in, he slams his fist into the bridge railing.

"Well, we tried. There was nothing we could do." He sighs, looking up at the viewscreen, out at space and the planet below.
"You guys think we'll ever see her again? And, Delgado, where exactly are we?"

Delgado gives an account of the goings-on since Dnar'af first appeared, up to and including Adon's leaving to deal with the weird superheroes on the planet below.

"Also, if you'll excuse me, sirs, I have some tidying to do in your office..."

Morgan rubs a hand across his tired, knit brow.

"I think I need a drink." he says.

Artsy half-embraces him, her hair a darkened silver.

"All that work, and for what?" she muses. They turn to leave the bridge.

Milkshake looks about the now once-again familiar look of the bridge.

Good and good. Ah...Lt. Delgado, I need to you access something on the navigational computers for me. The colony world Allyon.

Artsy stops on the way to the turbolift, and looks back.

I want its present location computed, and a course set. If we've got everything back, getting there on the way home to Earth shouldn't be fairly difficult.

We'll have to go through the black hole.

Isn't that in Calcutta?

"Allyon? How did you find out where Allyon is? Did Dnar'af tell you?"

It's not lost, Josh, it's just unfound. It was just too far from Earth and in too inhospitable a sector for more than a couple rescue ships to have been sent since its communication loss, and now we know what happened to that couple.

"I have the coordinates, sir, and it is rather conveniently placed along our route back to Earth. Also, do you want to get back in touch with Commander Adon?"

I'm going to go down to sickbay to see if everything is ok down there.
What do you mean, "for what" Artsy? We reunited two lovers after centuries apart. We discovered several lost worlds...
Jackson: I managed to use some magic..
Butrfli: Jackson managed... magic?
Jackson: Yeah, against cat-bee things... I had a really good teacher.
Butrfli: It seems that I was... anyway, I'm off.
With that, she steps into the turbolift, along with Kieran and Artsy.

Allyon... Artsy pauses for a moment, silver cross-fading with curious, apprehensive teal.

Then she continues into the turbolift with Keiran.

"Zen Forward," he says wearily.

Artsy tightens her arm around him, then snaps decisively, "Pause turbolift." When Keiran glances down at her, puzzled, she reaches up and pulls his mouth down to hers.

The kiss is fiercely passionate, not tender, but Artsy's brilliant red is veined with blue. When they finally pull apart, she rests her forehead on Kieran's shoulder and wraps her arms around him, holding tightly. "Don't you go anywhere," she whispers.

MWA HA HA HA! This is one of my best!

"Yeah, we reunited two lovers after centuries of being apart only for one of them to die. Not exactly mission accomplished if you ask me."
He looks at the viewscreen again at the blue and green planet floating below them.
"I need a shower. But we should handle this first. Should we contact Adon, sir? See how he's doing down there?"

Keiran smiles, and holds his love close. And he speaks one word in her language. In ours, it means "Never."

Lopez shrugs after hearing Commadner Rikard say, "Yeah, we reunited two lovers after centuries of being apart only for one of them to die. Not exactly mission accomplished if you ask me." "And yet it was still better than my marriage. I wish Nancy had kiled herself." "Oh you don't mean that Grant." "Really? Why don't you try living with her for three years adn see how you feel? Anyway, I'm going to the flight deck. I wanna make sure the Furbys didn't paint any pornographic graphitti on my fighter while I was gone. Again."

Com-mad-ner Rikard? Is that the name of his slightly crazed shoulder?

It should be noted that Butrfli saw the looks Kieran and Artsy were giving, exited the turbolift and waited for the next one. She is currently in sickbay inspecting things.
Well, things seem to be normal around here. Hi Furbies, what ae you doing here?

As much as we all need a shift or two off, business at LICC never ends. Delgado, get Adon on comms, ask him if the situation is in hand.

Hides the canister with the space-proof spray paint.

Uh, nothing, just enjoying the nice outlook here. How was your little adventure?

Delgado sends a hail out to Adon. While he waits for a response, he says, "Sounds like you had quite the time, sir."

A heck of a working vacation, Lieutenant.

Then, the turbolift hisses open, and the robotic Colanator grinds out.

What is that? Milkshake asks, a "what now?" expression on his face.

Welcome back, Commander. I had hoped to restore the ship to something approaching its normal status by the time you had returned, but I now see it has been done for me.

Milkshake straightens up

That's familiar. Our wayward chief engineer has come home! Cola, how'd you get out here?

Colanator grinds a bit.

To sufficently explain would require excessive time taken away from the present crisis, Captain. I believe a delay should be placed until your team has had sufficent time for maitenence.

Bsszzzhhhtt....

"Spidermobile, this is Ensign Ceffiree. I'm afraid Commander Adon can't come to the comm right now, he's a little busy.."

crash!

bang!

Rikard responds.

"So, Ensign, is Adon going to need our help or do you think he has the situation," he pauses for the second, "handled?"

"Good question, Spidermobile. Actually, he can probably..."

wzzz-ow!

"...well, an extra security officer or two might be nice..."

krangngngng!

"...or perhaps one or two more Away Teams..."

"now you will die" KAROOM!

"...tell you what, Spidermobile. Can you just beam us out as quickly as possible then level this location from orbit?"

Josh, get a transporter lock on them. Ensign, what exactly is happening?

"I've got it. Ready to beam them out at your command, sir."

"Just a little scrap with some supposed 'heroes' that have overstayed their welcome on this planet, sir. Apparently these heroes, in addition to being extremely annoying, are invincible as well. Commander Adon is doing the best he can, but--"

CRRRassh!

Just then, three redshirts enter the bridge from the turbolift.

"You see?" one says, "Everything's back to normal!" They go to high-five one another, but trip over themselves instead, falling to the deck and spontaneously combusting.

Everything is back to normal.

They definitely are. Perhaps we'll have another rash of redshirt deaths...

We need all we have, Jackson. All right, Josh, beam the Away Team back, and Ceffiree and Adon directly to the bridge.

With a shimmer and a tinkle and a familiar transporter effect, Ceffiree and Adon reappear, both looking rather flustered and tattered. Unfortunately, with them also appear several grinning, colorful, strange "hero"-types...

"Oh crap," Delgado thinks as the superheroes show up on the bridge. He starts calculating how he can get to the Ready Room, as all his accoutrements are still inside. "Maybe these aren't the guys that Adon was fighting..."

Rikard looks up at the group that he just beamed up.

"Um, Commander, would you like me to beam these new people back down?"

As he's saying this, he hits a few commands, preparing to energize them again.

Hold off a second, Josh.

Milkshake speaks to Red, who he assumes to be the leader.

You seem to be the ones we were contracted to remove from this planet's premises. Perhaps we could reach some kind of agreement.

Red looks suspicious

What kind of agreement?

Milkshake smiles, only we can't see it because he's got his helmet on! Doy.

We want to hire you. Yes, a great force for evil has been unleashed upon the multiverse. You may have heard of the huge temporal rift opened not too far from here. What you may not know is that Taconator, a horrible cybernetic presence, opened that rift in order to escape this galaxy and conquer an entirely new dimension. We charge you, loyal heroes, with finding that dimension, locating Taconator, and bringing his evil to an end once and for all. As a reward, you will have our unending gratitude and 600,000 shares of Pets.com stock, cir. 2001.

What do you say?

The heroes discuss it all amongst themselves, albeit quickly.

We'll do it! To the rift!!

They disappear. And all members of the bridge crew look at Milkshake as if he had suddenly sprouted an extra head.

It worked, didn't it?

Pets.com stock???? I thought the LICC was the good guys!

The enemy who gives worthless shares to my enemy is my friend.

Hey! Don't try to confuse the issue!

I may sneeze, but I may not. I may just use you to sop up some grape juice. Or is it great juice? Is sewer water technically grate juice?

Delgado excuses himself from the bridge and goes to tidy up the Ready Room. Upon his return, he has managed to pack all his accoutrements into his belt, which is once more securely fastened, along with his various weapons and doodads.

"If it ages, would it become greyed juice?" he asks.

What are you talking about, Lieutenant?

No matter. Lt. Delgado, if you'll so kindly point us in the general direction of Sector 001 and put us at our quickest Bad News Cruise speed, it would be much appreciated.

"Yes, sir. Sector 001... Strange, I didn't think we'd have enough Bad News to fuel the drive, but apparently we've got some to spare. Course laid in."

<i>dramatic pause</i>

...

<i><b><u>ENGAGE.</i></u></b>

Delgado does so. A group of redshirts comes onto the bridge to try and clean up the spare tags, but the unfortunately get parsed out of existence, reminding Delgado why he's on the ship in the first place. He makes a note that he should start on his report sometime.

Look, first, on a report you gotta start off with a really cool nickname. Say...Lt. "The Yellow Dart" Delgado. Oh yeah, that'll get you some extra credit at least.

Red words appear on the screen

+30 points! Cool nickname!

Nice to see things are somewhat back to normal around here...
Butrfli gives a brief summary of what happened to the heroes to the Furbies.
...and so, the last we saw of them, the two of them were together again.

Wasn't one dead the last time they saw them?

I've been dead before.

Pets.com shares have fallen drastically.

The Dark Side of the Frank Conspiracy has invaded Sharma Prime.

Posting rate at L.I.C.C. is at an all time low.

The replicators on the Spidership are currently incapable of manufacturing Fun-Size Crunchy Bars.

The Universe is about to collapse and bring an end to everything everywhere.

Wait... that last one might be a misprint...

Rikard is in sickbay due to a shoulder complaint.

Hmmm.

"What is it, Doc?"

It is a little known fact that in some humans, brain patterns can initiate in a region of the body some distance from the head. You've heard the phrase "thinking with your stomach?"

Rikard nods.

Well, in some cases, a person's stomach is in fact capable of independent thought. Normally these mental functions work so harmoniously with those of the brain, that it is impossible to distinguish which is which. At other times, however, there is something of a mismatch.

"A mismatch? How do you mean?"

Your shoulder, Mr Rikard, has quite different ideas from your head at times.

"Any idea why?"

It appears to be slightly crazed.

Close-up on Rikard's worried expression

A Fun Size Crunchy Bar? Tell me this. What's so Fun about getting less candy? Maybe if you got a whole bag of them they would be fun. As it is, the only Fun I'll get out of this is smearing it all over the turbolift door when I leave.

That's right, I'm going stark raving nutso! I can't stand it around this joint.

Pets.com shares have fallen drastically.

That's not bad news! They paid the color guys with Pets.com stock. So it's a Good Thing™ (TM Martha Stewart)

Everything squared away now? Good, fine. Computer, shift change, activate Beta...Gamma, whatever shift this is.

Stooping slightly with fatigue, Milkshake leaves the bridge to find some sleep.

Unfortunate that every component is in perfect working order. I seem to find an analog experience almost close to human contentment when repairing shipboard systems. No matter.

Colanator grinds over to an empty station, brings up a virtual Engineering console, and settles down to watch the mass of rapidly-updated, flickering status figures of the active warp field.

"Um, so Doc, is there a way to fix this?" Rikard says, giving the shoulder a glance.

The EMH pauses gravely

That's hardly in my line of work. I suggest you take it to a psychiatrist before things get too out of hand.

And then...

A vision, or is it an apparition, of a small, brown, gnarled little creature appears on the bridge, looking almost both human and alien in appearance. It blinks its deep black eyes twice, and points a shaking finger at the surprised bridge crew. Then, in a thin reedy voice, it speaks.

You enter the Vale of Disturbed Minds. Beware.

With that, it vanishes, never to be seen again.

Milkshake's thoughts drift away on a bubbly cloud of nothingness. The last concious thought of his long, long day is marvelment at how good it feels to fall...

Drifting...drifting...


.


..


.


.


A beautiful day at the beach, his hair wet. Sand squishing beneath toes and the waves pounding up on the beach. Perfect waves.

Steven turns, and Hal Crockett, his best bud in high school, is there. Hal smiles, staring out at the sea, frothing in an attractive shade of orange, and speaks. "The young are the most dangerous." he says.

Surfers come out of the water, laughing, carrying their boards, their feet churning chunks of grass from the lawn-covered beach. Steven realizes just below him there is still a sandy patch while all around him is covered in wild grass. He gets up, and in the sandy patch is a white disk.

Hal is now Peter Insane, who stares at the disk and remarks, "Woe will come to the Earth, unless quickly prevented," while examining the small piece of metal.

Steven reaches down and begins to dig. The disk is uncovered and turns out to be a white metal hatch, which he pulls open. He finds himself staring down at the bridge of the Spidermobile, with small monkeys at every station. And suddenly he is there on the bridge. And he tries to speak to the monkeys, but all are absorbed in their work, and refuse to speak. And on the viewscreen is the face of Frank Praetorius. And Praetorius is glowering at Steven, and Steven is guilty because he was supposed to clean the bulkheads in sickbay, but he forgot. And with an accusing look, Praetorious speaks. "Trust not in technology, for while machine intelligence may be sound, it is unnatural." Steven sits in the captain's chair, and picks up the plate of turkey and potatoes. But when he takes a bite, it tastes so sour, and

//////

"GASP!" Milkshake awakes with a start from a deep sleep, heart pounding. He furrows his brow as he tries to remember what he just dreamed. He heard something...what was it?

After leaving Sickbay, napping, and bathing, Rikard makes his way to the bridge.
"It's and odd place, your head. Your thoughts, your ideas, your beliefs, your feelings. It's enough to drive a guy crazy."
Rikard stops. He heard a voice, but there's no one else in the corridor.

"Hello?" he calls.
"Hi there!! How's it going? Nice to see ya. What's up man?"
"Who's there?" Rikard asks, very confused at this point.
"I'm here, man. Right here. With ya. Don't you remember me?"
Rikard pauses, realizing something as he glances down at his shoulder.

"I can not believe this," he says.
"Believe it!!" the shoulder replies,"'Cause it's true. I'm right here talking to you?"
"Since when could you talk? I thought you had a mind of your own, not shared minds," Rikard says.
"I don't know how it works," the shoulder replies,"I ain't a scientist, just a scientist's shoulder."
"I'm not sure I'm technically a-"
"Doesn't matter. The point is you can hear me now!" the shoulder says, sounding excited,"And probably only you can hear me. This is so cool. We can talk about sports, and the food on the ship, and people, and politics, and women..."

"You want to have conversations? Listen, I don't think you and I will be doing this much longer," Rikard says, as he realizes that he's now in a turbolift heading toward the bridge,"I'm getting this fixed ASAP."

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!? Ah, come on John, you don't want to do that. You can I can be amigos, buds, fr-"
"Shut up," Rikard growls as the doors open to the bridge. His eyes pass over the bridge until they follow on one particular individual.

"Colanator, sorry I didn't have a chance to greet you before. Welcome back though. It's good to see you again."

I wonder what the creature ment by "Vale of the disturbed minds..."
{Jackson glances up at the screen, only to notice a strange face on it. It bears a striking similarity to Taconator. The face seems to move off the screen and right towards our hero. Gasping, Jackson throws his arms over his face to ward off the image, and when he puts his arms back down, things seem to be back to normal.}
Did anyone else see a large face on the viewscreen just now?

Thank you Commander. Your presence also contributes to overall efficency and does not present any operational difficulty. You may be interested to know I have formulated a new geometric configuration for the warp field that increases speed by 0.21% while lowering power requirements by 0.00074%.

Ceffiree looks oddly at Jackson.

Uh...no, sir. Just those streaky star things on the screensaver that they use to cover up plain dull black warp space.

"Um, thanks Colanator, sounds good." Rikard looks at the screen, only seeing the stars. "Sorry Jack, can't say that I did. What sort of face? Human?"

Colanator buzzes for a minute

I have just completed Level One Diagnostics on the bridge display screen, all display panels, exterior sensors, and all data buses. No errors found.

*chuckle* You're mad, Tacoman!

"You probably just need some rest, Jackson," Rikard says as he covers a yawn, "We all do. I guess napping wasn't enough. We're not going to be back to the Solar System for a while and we're on Gamma Shift anyway. So I guess I'm gonna go too. I would recommend that you also get some, Jackson. And you, Pete."

With that, Rikard leaves the bridge yet again.

Like Milkshake, Delgado is in his quarters trying to get some sleep. He drifts off fairly quickly...

He gets up from the bed, hearing sounds of battle. He finds that his saber, as if weilded by an unseen force, is in a duel with a salt shaker, also using a saber. The salt shaker is actually an orange, but in the dream, Delgado understands that it is a salt shaker.

The two battle it out in a rather spectacular display. The sparks emitted by the clashing weapons fill the air with an electric tinge, making his hair start to stand on end. They seem evenly matched, but Delgado's saber seems to tire suddenly, and the salt shaker begins to press its advantage, pressing the saber across the room. Finally, the saber looks defenseless, and the salt shaker strikes, its blade cutting the saber in two. The end of the saber is still active, its blade somersaulting through the air...

Suddenly, Milkshake is there, and without warning, the broken blade lodges itself neatly in his chest. His face, unhelmeted, registers shock.

"Damn... tech-" he gasps, before falling to the floor...

Delgado jerks himself awake. As he tries to slow his breathing, his mind replays the last few seconds of the dream...

Sounds like a good idea, Commander.
Jackson to Butrfli, care to meet me in our quarters?
Butrfli: I'd love to.
And with that, within a few minutes, they meet in their quarters, get into bed, and are soon sound asleep.

Lopez tosses and turns but can't seem to get to sleep. He's anxious. He's been out of the cockpit for too long. He's tired because he's spent the past week either on a starnge planet dealing with things way beyond his understanding, or repainting his fighter to cover the chinese swear words the Furbys had inexplicably painted on it. He yells in frustration. He then notices movement out the corner of his eye. He turns and finds himself face to face with his ex-wife, and her three teenaged boyfriends, doing the exact smae thing he saw them doing years ago. But he still sems to be in his quarters. He reaches for the commpanel near his bed. "Lopez to Bridge, is there anyone beaming holographic images or hallucigenic gases inton the ship?" He gets no reply. He tries again and only then notices that the tell-tale beep that signifies a channel is open. Maybe I'm dreaming, he thought to himself. His ex-wife suddenly looks at him and smiles. This was new. When he'd originally walked in on this scene she reacted with shock, but didn't bother stopping her love in for a whole minute before she tried to defend herself. Grant frowned. Nancy West was still smiling. "C'mon Grant. Don't tell me you didn't enjoy this. Otherwise you would've tried to stop us instead of standing there forever." Grant shakes his head and rubs his eyes. He's suddenly is back in his apartment. He looks at his calendar. The day after the infamous incident. He smells something beong cooked in the kitchen, and he shakes his head yet again. "I, I wasn't here the next day. I spent that day at my Mother's. What the hell is going on here?" "Grant, honey, how do you like your eggs?" Grant was shocked. That was Nancy's voice. Nancy doesn't cook! he thinks. What in the hell is going on here?

Lopez wakes up to find himself sweating on the floor of his quarters. "Huh, wha?"

Jackson to Butrfli, care to meet me in our quarters?

Uh, I'm not sure if that's what Rikard meant when he said he wanted Jackson to "get some".

Got Some?

Insane is in the ship's cinema watching an old movie about a large mechanical monster-man chasing people in a big city. An armed force ambushes it and start firing their weapons.

As he gets closer to the image, without his noticing the transition he suddenly *is* the mechanical man. Or at least, is disguised as it. And the armed force is made up of Tacoman, Milkshake, Delgado, Rikard and Lopez. All are firing on him. He tries to tell them that it's all a mistake, and that he's really Peter Insane, but no matter how hard he yells no sound comes out of his mouth. He tries to run away so he can give himself time to work out what to do, but his feet are rooted to the spot. As the LICC armed force advance on him, he feels himself falling with the weight of his mechanica exoskeleton, and crashing to the ground. Out of the corner of his eye he notices that he's no longer in the city but on the Spidership. His attackers make the final move and...

(...he wakes up, in his quarters. How long has he been asleep? Two hours. Somehow he doesn't really want to get back to sleep again...)

The Quartermaster is in his bed.

He notices that there are a bunch of redshirts in his room. They are blaming him for their deaths. They reach for him... and all drop dead from a heart attack.

(... he wakes up, in his bed.)

That reminds me. I need to order more redshirts from the ACME Redshirt Company.

It's now late in the ship's "night" and nearly everyone is tired. Even those crew members on Gamma Shift preparing to have lunch begin to yawn and stretch, feeling unusually fatigued. The ship slides effortlessly through warp space, finally heading home, and all is uneventful and quiet.

The red alert sirens suddenly blare, and the status lighting throughout the ship flashes bright crimson, startling everyone on board out of either sleep, concentration, or reverie. And then, just as suddenly, they cut off, silence and peace present once again. There is no sign of danger anywhere...

The next morning, Delgado sits in the mess hall, nursing some coffee. He looks a bit disheveled, and as he looks about the hall, he notes that many others look the same way, like they didn't sleep very well. In fact, as he watches, a redshirt falls asleep standing up! Said redshirt doesn't die, but his prostrate form does cause another passing redshirt to trip; the redshirt manages to impale himself with his PADD in the resulting fall.

Delgado looks back to his work. He has some PADDs of his own, detailing the numerous redshirt calamaties that have taken place since his arrival. It's time to start compiling them into a report...

Soon afterwards, Alex arrives in the mess hall, looking tired. He grabs something to eat and joins Delgado.
Good morning. You don't look good. Did you sleep well?
I had the strangest dream last night... I was in the corridor where the holodeck is, and suddenly, a horde of O'kak comes rushing out from nowhere. They were pushing and killing and rapidly approaching me, so I tried to call the bridge. For some reason, I couldn't make a sound, and when I looked in a reflective surface, I discovered that I had no mouth. When they got closer, I saw that the O'kak from my dimension was in the lead, but suddenly, his faced morphed. First into mine, then into Jackson's, then Butrfli's, then the Frangelica from my home. He was carrying a very large curved sword with an odd metallic disk on it. As he swung it at me, he warned me of something bad happening to Earth. The sword was about to strike me, when I woke up...
Oh yeah... I think there was also very tiny fighter ships trying to attack me, too...

"Wow, that's odd. I hate dreams like that. Come to think of it, I had one like that myself last night..." Delgado describes his dream to Alex. "I can't quite remember what his last words were. Something about technology, I think."

Just then, as Delgado turns his attention to his coffee, he sees that the mug is not filled with liquid, but rather with nanites...trillions and trillions, as they are able to be seen with the naked eye in such numbers. They boil out of the cup and onto his hand, but as he begins to react...

They vanish. A normal mug half-filled with coffee remains.

Quito senses two very familiar presences aboard the ship. She bounces gleefully up from the cargo bay floor where she has been playing and turns to run towards the door.

Something red and viscous pours around her, trapping her feet in sticky warmth.

STAY YOU MUST. MINE YOU ARE.

The red warmth jerks backwards, towards the living ship behind her, toppling her into the fluid. It wraps about her, cocooning her limbs, covering her face; she whimpers and tries to lash out, but--

--wakes sharply as her hand smacks something hard.

CHILD. WAKE. A DREAM ONLY. A DREAM.

Quito rubs her eyes, then makes haste to scramble out of Seeker's inner cabin, where she had been napping. He masks HURT from her, and she turns to smile at him, picturing ARTSY and OBSERVER. Seeker's sending turns playful, nudging Quito towards the door.

She scampers out, dream almost forgotten.

As Alex and Delgado have a good ol' time in Zen Forward, Rikard wakes in his quarters. They're dark and unmoving. The only sounds he hears are the hum of the ship's engines and his shower. Someone's using it. He gets up and out of bed to go investigate.
"We both know where this is going to end."
Rikard stops and looks down at his "crazed"
shoulder. Standing on it is a small figure. The figure looks exactly like Rikard, except that his hair is bright yellow and spiked straight up.
"What?" Rikard asks.
"We know how this is going to end. It always ends the same way," his shoulder replies, "Your subconscious needs something new. It's getting tired of your same old fantasies."

Suddenly, Rikard is falling through space. Ahead of him is a large brown planet. He continues to fall until he enters the atmosphere. He doesn't burn up like he should, he merely continues to fall. Below him, he can see the landscape and geography as he gets nearer to the ground. He's falling into a canyon. As he's about to fall into it, the canyon morphs into a whale. Rikard falls into the darkness, swallowed by the whale.

"I love you, now and forever." She's familiar to him. He knows her voice, her scent, her touch, just the feeling of her presence. Yet for some reason, Rikard can't figure out who it is. She's lying right next to him. When he tries to see her face, it blurs.
"Who are you?" he asks

"The bringer of your end, Commander John Rikard."
The soft, beautiful voice he'd heard is now deep and rough, clearly belonging to a man. Rikard looks upward. A man stands over him, his form silhouetted by the bright sun behind him. Rikard can now see that the place he'd been, a bed he assumed, was now a desert-like wasteland. The warmth he'd known was now scorching heat and choking dust. The man appears to be holding a sword. He swings it downward, toward Rikard. The last thing Rikard thinks about as the steel meets flesh is of how black the man's shirt is and wonder at why anyone would put numbers onto a shirt only to make them backward.

Rikard wakes again, once again in his quarters. No shower this time, just the hum of the Spidership's engines. He waits until his quickly beating heart slows before sighing and getting up.

"Ah, it's so nice to be back." Observer says, collapsing onto Artsy's couch with a sigh of deep-felt relief. Quito immediately jumps into his lap, a wide smile on her face.

Artsy smiles and retreats toward the bedroom. "Finally, a chance to really feel clean again," she says. "A week on that horrid, hot, dusty colony world felt like a year."

Observer hmms, stroking Quito's hair and staring idly at the small object on Artsy's work table, a half-finished study in liqrystal. "I like your latest piece. Reminds me a bit of the New Los Angeles skyline."

Artsy laughs, splashing water onto her face at the restroom sink. "Now you know where I spent a lot of time when I was on Terra. That city has a million stories to tell."

"I know quite a few of them." Observer's voice comes drifting back. "Remind me sometime..."

Artsy dries her face with a flannel, feeling very hungry and tired at the very same moment. She doesn't quite enjoy it, and sees her long-uncombed hair flush orange with her annoyance. She shakes her head and walks back to the living room. "After we've all had a good rest, tomorrow I'd like to--" She stops as she sees the adorable tableau before her. Keiran, dirt and dust still marring skin and clothes, fast asleep on the couch with legs stretched out in front of him. Quito in as deep a slumber, her head on his chest with his arm still about the small child.

And she notices something else. Outside the viewports, odd, amber-colored flashes and sparks fill the local region of space, appearing so different from normal warp travel effects. The light flows into the room, casting strange patterns and shadows on the sleeping wanderer and child.

I thought Adon was the wanderer? Or is that 'Wanderer' with a capital W?

No, I am the wanderer, you medicant!

"Gah!" Delgado yelps before the vision of the nanites dissapears. Alex shoots him a confused look. Calming back down, Delgado manages, "So, I'm assuming you didn't see that just then?"

Nearby Alex and Delgado, Ensign Yellowshirt is sitting calmly at a table, nursing his drink, when suddenly he gasps, clutching at his shirt.

Aaah! Wait...I thought I was suddenly wearing a red shirt. What a nightmare.

Annoying Announcer Guy: It's Diddly Squat©. Yes, Diddly Squat©!

She doesn't have it. He doesn't have it. They don't have it. I don't have it! Now it's your turn! Get ready for Diddly Squat©!


Tom: And if you act now we'll throw in a surprise bonus! Which isn't really gonna be a surprise, because we're gonna tell you what is! Crow?

Crow: Purple flying monkeys?

Mike: Crow, you naive fool. That was last week! No. It's Bucket O' Cod©*! Surprise your friends! Amaze your family! Annoy perfect strangers! Oh, it's bargains galore!

Crow: Wow! What does it cost?

Tom: Just your entire life savings!

Annoying Announcer Guy: ACT NOW! Supplies are limited. Well, not really. But it sounds good doesn't it? Brought to you by Evil Corporate Empire™.


Crow: Wow that Annoying Announcer Guy is really annoying!

Annoying Announcer Guy: Thank you!


*Bucket not included.

Commercial fades to black for a few seconds. Then the black dissolves into the Spidership, flying through space at warp. Yawning, Rikard walks onto the bridge.

"ETA to the Terran System?" he asks.
"6 hours, sir," the ops officer on duty responds.
"Thanks."

"Hey, we lost Act Three! What happened on Allyon, with the kid and the powers and the thing and the deal-o?"

"Chalk it up to bad editing, Abner. Now get me some more popcorn."

"Sigh."

Muhaha, eliminating Act 3 shaved a million and a half off the budget! I'll be top dog in no time.

Alex: See what? All I know is that you started to drink your coffee and suddenly looked startled...

Meanwhile, in Sickbay, Butrfli and the Doctor are treating various people who are reporting nightmares.
Extra: ...and then I was warned about about Earth and how technology might go away...
Butrfli: Doctor, another case of the Earth warning nightmare.. should I report it to the Bridge?
Doctor: You probably should...
Butrfli: Butrfli to the bridge, we in Sickbay have found something interesting...

Rikard glances around the bridge. No Commander Milkshake yet. He hits his comm.

"Yes, Butrfli?"

"Huh. I just could have sworn I suddenly saw about a bajillion nanites come swarming out of my cup... Well, anyway..."

Dear Evil K-NIT TV-47 Assistant Executive Producer,

Well done on the budget savings! However, be warned, I am now keeping an eye on you.

Sincerely,

EE

I don't know if you've been having...strange dreams lately, but we've been treating a lot of the crew who have been having nightmares... warnings about the Earth and not trusting technology.. both Jackson and I had similar dreams, too...

Me too.

Milkshake enters the bridge, not in armor but a standard uniform, looking basically like the living dead. He collapses into the command chair hastily vacated by Rikard.

There's got to be something causing this. Number One, any unusual phenomena recently?

"You mean besides the little alien creature that appeared on the bridge yesterday and our inexplicable course change from Allyon directly to Earth? Sensors haven't picked up anything unusual. If there is something affecting the crew, we may need something besides the ship's sensors to find it."
Rikard pauses, staring at the viewscreen, out into the space beyond the screensaver.
"I can't say I dreamt about Earth. Just love and... death. Whatever is happening probably has something to do with that Vale of Disturbed Minds that that little creature talked about or with the problems with the Omninet. Or both."

"Thank you for the report, Butrfli. We'll see what we can figure out. Bridge out."

Hmmm... I had a bad dream too.

(He relates the content of his dream about the old film, as near as he remembers it)

I remember seeing an episode of Star Trek: Voyager where everyone had bad dreams, and they all had this alien guy in them, and it turns out this alien guy was the one controlling their dreams. I wonder... maybe we should put all our dreams together and search for a common element, then we can get to the bottom of this.

Alright, let's get everyone who had these dreams file a report with the library computer so we can search for a common element. Meanwhile, Number One, run a detailed sensor scan of the local area of space. I want to know if there's the slightest difference between here and non-crazy-dream space.

Milkshake's order is carried out throughout the ship. Delgado writes his dream out and submits it to the library computer, for good measure adding the bit in the mess hall where he saw the nanites. Once done, he goes back to the mess hall with his notes and starts writing...

Poink!

Aha! So we've all been dreaming about poink!

Wait... I don't remember dreaming about poink. At least, I don't think I did. What is poink anyway? Is it some slang term the computer seems to know but I don't? We've been away from Earth far too long. I bet everyone on Earth knows what poink means.

Poink - n., interjection - A meaningless sound emitted by computers when they are working on bizarro dream-things.

*looking at the Encyclopedia Galactica*

Hmm, I don't remember dreaming about that.

Oh, I see!

Blonk - n., interjection - A meaningless sound emitted by computers when they are working on non-bizarro dream-things.

Smith - n. - 1. A name for wooden legs. 2. A name for men with wooden legs.

Analysis Complete.

Results are as follows:

Dreams Sampled: 226.

-----------------------------------------------
Factor / Percent of Occurrence

Warnings regarding Earth
(or other planet's) fate / 87%

Warnings regarding tech-
nology, threat or implied
threat / 65%

Very sexy members of
preferred gender / 55%

Appearance by family
members, friends,
acquaintances / 47%

Appearance of family
members, friends,
acquaintances ruining
pleasurable dream
interlude with member
of preferred gender / 28%

Pizza / 17%

Pondering name of other
leg / 2%

----------------------------------------------

Hey! That's 301%!!!!

Don't forget the 10% Butterscotch Ripple!

How much Buttergin?

Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker.

Delgado is present when the analysis is given to Milkshake.

"This may just be a coincidence. I mean, much of the crew has reason to be concerned about what's going on with Earth, so wouldn't it be natural for it to show up in our dreams?"

It seems quite a bit too prevalent to be a coincidence. I'm just wondering what we can do about it, now.

still wondering

I think we might be able to draw a few conclusion, based on what Colanator tells us his other half's been doing on Earth. This seems too big a problem for us to handle without information.

Number One, is there any way we can contact the LeagueICC in the 64th century? We need their help this time.

Rikard seems a little skeptical about Milkshake's idea.

"We could try, Captain," he says, "But I'm not sure how willing to help they would be. We didn't exactly depart on the best of terms the last time we encountered each other."

I think it's worth a shot. They may be the best ones to ask.

"We could try opening up a subspace wormhole to send a one-way transmission through," Delgado theorizes. "If we send it to the right time frame, they should get it, and if they feel they want to respond, they can find a way to get back to us."

Good idea, but we'd need to drop out of warp to get any kind of stable wormhole, and I don't trust this particular neighborhood. Still, we need to try. Lieutenant, make the necessary preparations and inform me when the message is ready to be sent.

Suddenly, the ship shakes violently. The unprepared crew on the bridge are thrown everywhere, many violently slamming into the bulkhead. Several consoles short out and others explode. Rikard is hurled to the ground, rolling toward the turbolift. The ship stabilizes and he attempts to stand as the lights go out.

"Report!!" he bellows.
"We're under attack," he hears a voice yell back, "we're completely surrounded. I'm detecting several Frank and Sith warships and fighters all around us!! Shields can't-"
The voice is cut off by another explosion. The front of the bridge is blown open and the atmosphere begins to vent into open space. Several of the crew are blown out. Rikard holds onto the tactical console for dear life. He can't hold it. He lets go, flying out of the hole and into open space.

"Sir?"
Rikard blinks. He looks around, surprised. He's on the Spidership bridge. There's no sign of alarm, damage, or anything to suggest that they were every under attack.
"Sir, are you okay?" ask Crewman Yates.
"Um, yeah, I'm fine," he says, "thanks Crewman."

Milkshake walks over.
"You okay, Number One?"
Rikard nods. "Yeah, I just had a dream. This place is really messing with us, I don't think- why are we not at warp?"
Milkshake looks at the viewscreen at the starfield.
"We hit something," he says. "It did some damage to the deflectors. Somehow, we didn't completely pulverize the thing. We brought what's left on board. Go to Shuttlebay 2 to check it out."
Rikard nods. "Aye sir."

Rikard quickly heads to the turbolift and goes down to Shuttlebay 2. Standing outside the bay is one of the flight deck crew.
"What is it? Is is safe?" Rikard asks.
The crewman nods. "Yes sir, we checked it out, it's not a threat. Whatever it's made out of though is unbelieveably strong. Survived a collision with us at warp."
"Okay Crewman, thanks," Rikard says, "I'll check it out."
"Sir," the crewman says, "One more thing, it appeared to have writing on it."
"Oh? What did it say?"
"Reset."
Rikard, a little confused, walks into the shuttlebay. The small crowd around what's left of what they hit parts as he enters. He crouches down next to the object. It does indeed have "reset" printed onto it. Slowly, Rikard reaches down to pick it up. As soon as he touches it, however, it begins to vibrate.
Rikard drops it and begins to back away.
"Everybody back!!" He turns to one of the officers near him. "Are you sure that thing's safe." The officer only nods, his eyes fixed on the object. The object begins to grow, producing more material and morphing into what soon becomes a familiar shape.
"Thank you for resetting me," Robot Redshirt says.

This is the big one! I'm coming, Elizabeth!

dies

Lt. Delgado pages Milkshake.

"Commander, we're ready to try opening the wormhole."

Proceed, Lieutenant.

I will capture the LICC and figure out how to make wormholes myself!

The Spidership drops back into normal space as Delgado works on creating the wormhole that will hopefully carry their message into the future. He quickly manages to open up a small wormhole, and spends a few moments making sure that it's properly calibrated in order to send the message to the right time frame. Once this is done, the message is sent.

"Done, sir," Delgado reports.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Milkshake sits back, watching the unmoving stars on the viewscreen.

Now whether our 64th century comrades will come remains to be seen...

Rikard returns to the bridge.

"Well, it turns out that we actually hit the redshirt robot that was accidentally launched into space," he says.
"That's Robot Redshirt," someone corrects him.
"Right. Anyway, I guess his reset button is indestructable or something because that's all that was left. But he's back and rolling. Any response to the message yet?"

Steve, I wonder if our strange dreams have anything to do with Colanator taking control of Earth's computer systems... I'm not blaiming him, but I am just bringing up an interesting point...