Oh, that was just terrible.

LAST TIME ON LICC...

*sobbing*

(1pm! That's the latest she's woken up in... well, quite some time. But it's worth it for the night before, and in space, there is no real day and night. And she doesn't have any shifts today.

Getting her priorities straight, she goes to the mirror to see how her appearance has fared. Hmmm... she didn't remember her ears being that pointed before. Or her nose being that snubbed-looking. And if she didn't know any better, she'd almost think her face needed a shave. Must be cinnamon.)

The ThunderCrane warps in and moves close to the spidership.....

=/\=ThunderCrane to spidership. Someone managed to get a message out to us before everything went chaotic, but we were busy transporting a Galactic Order delegate to Omacari Prime. Glad to hear everything has been resolved, but the loss of Colanator will be hard to overcome....=/\=

On-board the ThunderCrane.

RR: Wayne, cancel Operation Sitting Duck.

A few seconds later, the ThunderCrane explodes!...as....another ThunderCrane warps in?!

Wayne (somewhat irritated): Blast it! Do you know how long it took me to upload all 3,579 of those viruses into that decoy ship's mainframe?!

Kent (piloting the ThunderCrane): Yeah, yeah. And if wishes were fishes...

Rocket Ranger and Wayne both look at Kent as if he's lost it.

Kent: Err...nevermind.

Rocket Ranger: Wayne, hail the spidership again.

Wayne: Channel open.

=/\=Rocket Ranger requesting mission to come aboard.=/\=

He requests a mission to come aboard? Doesn't exactly sound like a tough mission.

=/\=Err.....requesting permission to come aboard, that is. We've been having some problems with our comm system off and on the last few days.=/\=

Rocket Ranger looks at Wayne.

Now that we've got time, you need to work on that asap.

Wayne: I'm on it.

Wayne gets out of his seat and heads to the storage area to get some equipment.

Rikard stares at the computer screen for a second before looking up at Milkshake.
"Well, it's done. He's gone. And now we have to deal with EarthSysGov. We should contact the Spidership and head back up. Then contact whoever it is we need to talk to to clear all of what's happened up."

Too late.

No less than twelve members of the Special Enforcement Unit of Terran Security appear from all exits, phaser rifles trained on our heroes. Milkshake slips his hands out of his blaster-equipped gauntlets, and raises them in the air.

You've got us, fellas.

Gene visibly releaxed inside his cell and sighed.

Gene: "He's stopped... Colanator's been deleted from the system."

Adon: "Bridge, brig. What's the status of Colanator?"

Jackson (over the comm): "The program's been deleted, and the automated defence systems are powering down."

Adon: "Thanks."

Adon peered through the forcefield at Gene.

Adon: "How can you know all of this?"

Gene just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Then he frowned.

Gene: "You might find this interesting, Mr Adon... Milkshake has just been arrested."

Wayne walks back onto the bridge of the ThunderCrane, carrying some equipment with him.

Rocket Ranger: Hold off on the comm system repairs, Wayne. The spidership never answered us, which could mean that either the ship's comm system is down, or the message we received saying Colanator was...defeated....was a ruse.

Wayne: Want me to hail them again?

Rocket Ranger: Yes. Ask if everything is alright, and why they have not responded to our previous hail. If there's no answer, do a scan and see if their comm system is down.

Wayne: And if it isn't?

Rocket Ranger pauses for a couple of seconds before answering.

Rocket Ranger: Then go to Yellow Alert. Shields up, all weapons armed.

Butrfli, working one of the consoles, notices something.
Sir, we have a visitor... the Thundercrane. They're hailing us.

"Right, put them through. Have the defense sattelites powered down yet?"

They in fact, have not, although under decidedly different control. Before RR's hail can get through, a more powerful signal reaches the Spider. The Navy seal appears, and then a sombre-faced older man can be seen on the viewscreen.

"U.S.S. Spidermobile, this is Fleet Admiral Attunga. I am delivering your final mission orders in place of Admiral Vorelli. You are to stand down immediately. Power down weapons, shields, and engines. Captain Milkshake, Commander Rikard and Lieutenant Insane have already been taken into custody. I repeat, stand down."

"Very well," Delgado replies. "I hope our armor holds out if we need it. Drop the shields, take weapons off-line, and cut all engines."

"You won't need it." Attunga replies. And his image disappears from the viewscreen, replaced by a very large ship approaching Mars, looking crudely patched as huge sheets of undecorated duranium cover large sectors of its flag-emblazoned hull. Attunga's signal comes through again.

"Lieutenant Delgado and Commander Adon, you are ordered to beam to the Eurasia for mission debriefing. We are sending a team to inspect your ship for electronic influence. Thundercrane, hold on docking until we can verify Spidermobile is safe."

Over the intercom...
"Commander Adon, please report to Transporter Room 1."

Gene: "Have fun, Mr Commander, sir."

Adon turned and walked out of the Brig. He stopped once he was on the other side of the door and turned around. His eyes grew wide.

Adon: "It couldn't be..."

Then the doors closed.

"We'll beam over shortly, Admiral," Delgado says, rising from the command chair and signaling to the comm to terminate the connection. "Bridge to Commander Adon, you and I have been ordered to beam over to the Eurasia for debriefing. I'm going to go down to Transporter Room 1; I'll wait for you there." He waits for Adon's confrimation. "Captain Tacoman, you have the bridge."

Eight days later...

The Investigator makes the final notation on his PADD before setting it down, and stares at Milkshake with a steely gaze. Milkshake, for his part, is merely drained after more than a week of grueling interrogation. He can't remember how many times he's provided his story, down to the last detail, but his questioners have been relentless. Finally, could it be over?

"All right, Commander, you can go."

Milkshake, despite his fatigue, is too suspicious to leave it at that.

So what's going to happen now?

The Investigator merely examines his distrustful expression for a minute before speaking.

"Long or short?"

Long.

"Very well. You and your crew will return to your ship and will remain in orbit until you recieve your new orders. Most likely a few days, you'd be well-advised to take the opportunity to rest. Our team has found your ship is clean of any latent influences, but we're not taking chances. As we speak, your computer cores are being replaced."

The Investigator pauses, then continues. "The same will be true of every single computer in this solar system that has been controlled by Colanator. Backups made before the OmniNet Seizure will be installed."

Milkshake laughs derisively. That's crazy. You mean to restore the entire OmniNet to its status as of a couple months ago? You'll have chaos. Business records, bank accounts...

The Investigator smiles, a rather ugly sight. "We know what we're doing. It will be tough, but we simply cannot take any chances. Anyway, I'd advise you and your crew to remain on alert. And be grateful that you escaped this time without disciplinary action."

Milkshake jolts forward. The Investigator continues.

"Come now, Commander. Your engineering control program took over the entire OmniNet, and in so doing, placed itself in a position of power over every single sentient life within a light-year. That's so many counts of treason and public endangerment, it would take years to count them all. Add to that the loss of three ships, four if the Atlantis is never recovered, and the loss of about 2,000 lives, perhaps as many as 45,000. That's pretty bad. If you hadn't taken out Taconator, I shudder to think what would have happened to you."

Milkshake stands up. First, the Navy installed Colanator in the OmniNet without even considering the implications. Second, we removed Colanator for you, and in time to prevent his turning into something really destructive, and third--

The Investigator gathers his PADDs. "This investigation is closed. Good day, Commander."

Adon was undergoing is own interrogation. However, unlike Commander Milkshake, the investigators were looking fatigued, mostly because the room had taken to re-arranging itself in ways that gravity should have deemed impossible. Adon himself appeared to be in a good mood, if somewhat tired.

Investigator 1: "That wraps up our questions. We appreciated your cooperation."

Adon: "Oh, no problem. Always glad to help! But I do have one small question to ask."

The investigators both sighed.
Investigator 2: "What now?"

Adon: "What is going to happen to Mr Windward?"
Investigator 2: "That is none of your buisness."
Adon: "Oh, but it is."

Adon's look darkened considerably. Several recording devices scattered throughout the room shorted out, and the walls creaked and groaned under a sudden pressure.

Adon: "This interrogation of yours has only taken place because I have let you interrogate me. Since I have been so generous with my time, you can repay the favor by answering my question."

Investigator 2: "Your records show that he had direct contact with the Colanator program without it corrupting his systems. We must know how he did this."

Adon stood and started towards the door. He stopped, and looked over his shoulder.

Adon: "Hand him over to me. And all of his records."
Investigator 1: "Absolutely not!"

The heavy steel table shattered.

Adon: "You both know who I am and what I am capable of. If I am right about him, then no agency in this universe has the authority nor the power to stop me. But if I am wrong, I will willingly surrender myself to you for whatever punishment you deem fitting. I sincerely hope that these terms are acceptable."

The creaking and groaning walls stopped, and Adon's mood brightened considerably. The door opened on its own.
Adon: "I hope that my information was useful to you and that you seriously consider my sugguestions. Have a pleasant day.

And with that, he left.

Standing outside the room where Milkshake is being questioned is Rikard, reading a book. He looks up as the door slides open and Milkshake steps out.
"Ah, he emerges. How did this round go, sir?"

Aboard the Spidership, the entire crew is tired and stressed from several days of various officials and authorities checking out every electonic device on the ship, from the main computer to Jackson and Milkshake's cyber-armors. Having declared everything safe, they then proceeded to interrogate various members of the crew. Now, eight days later, things are getting back to relative normal.
Alex: Jackson, I've just been looking at the files for Windward... There's something interesting here..
Jackson: Hmmm... he's virtually a cyborg. No wonder he got ahead of us so many times...
He turns to Delgado, who is back on board.
Sir, how was your debriefing?

"Not so terrible in and of itself," Delgado replies, "but I had to wait while they checked out each and every single item in my belt for signs of 'interference.' I hope everything's still in there. But I did get the chance to ask for an extention on my report."

I'd rather see Hamburger Pattie's de-briefing.

Fine, Josh, considering this is the last round. We're not getting any medals, but we're not going to be thrown in the stockade, either. We still exist as a group, so that's something.

(Insane also walks up to them, and they react in surprise. His hair is close to white)

What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost? Is the LICC being shut down? Have you been given the death penalty? Have I been given the death penalty?

No, no, nothing like that. We're free to return to duty. Uh..what happened to your hair?

What's wrong with my hair?

(he looks at his reflection in Milkshake's armor)

White? I must have been under a lot of stress, lately and it's made my hair go *past* grey. Didn't know that happened in real life, though.

It doesn't. I don't think even a virus works that fast. You should get yourself checked out with Holodoc.

Rocket Ranger walks in. He is definitely not happy....

It took forever to get some pea-brained bureaucrat and his assistant jerks off the ThunderCrane! Somehow he got some orders to inspect the ThunderCrane, and I couldn't convince him he had no right to do so.

Pauses.

I swear, if that Kellner bozo ever sets foot on the ThunderCrane again, I'll toss him out the air lock!

Pauses again.

I tell him the ThunderCrane doesn't use the same computers as the spidership. His response? "I have my orders".

I tell him the ThunderCrane was never in contact with any of the infected ships. His response? "I have my orders"

I tell him the ThunderCrane is a Galactic Order ship, show him the documentation to boot, and advise him he has no authorization to stick his nose anywhere near the ship's computer banks. His response? "I have my orders" My response? "Wayne, beam him and his assistants to the nearest garbage freighter!"

Removes his helmet, and he has an irritated look on his face.

Any of you ever had the displeasure of dealing with him before?

No, not me at least. Looks like TerrSec's had a really big shakeup ever since we discovered the little conspiracy in their ranks. The entire department seems to have been filled with bureaucrats. Annoying for us, bad for Earth. Oh, good you're back with us, Quincy, and right on time. While we've been in interrogation, the junior officers have been busy.

hands RR a PADD, which reads:

Message:AllCrew -/27.04.3004.0818

--------------

Time to unwind? Definitely. Everyone the rank of Captain and below are invited to our first ever Saved the World Again Bash. Drinks, Dancing, Regulated Debauchery and Definite Relaxation.

Spatial Coordinates: Deck 10, Section Z-Forward. You know the way.

Time Coordinates: 1900 TONIGHT.

Live music by -Turn-. They're new and stylin'.

NO TERRSEC IDGITS OR MIDGITS ALLOWED.

Be there or be²

End:Message
--------------

"Wow Rocket, what a really interesting story. Can't say I have any idea who you're talking about. You didn't mention his name."

He takes a look at the PADD.

"Oh yeah, just what we need. I mean, things turned out so well the last time we all got drunk."

Yes, he did Commander Rikard. He said the man's name was Kellner.

Jadlad takes a brief pause and with a touch of anger in his voice he speaks.

Sirs, it looks like you'll have to find a new head of Pseudoscience. I've been reasigned to a pizza ship near my home planet. The orders were apparently sent 5 days ago and a ship will be arriving tomorrow to pick me up. Why they just won't let me ride there in the Thundercrane or the Spidership I don't know. All I could get out of them was "I have my orders". Argh!

He takes a moment to compose himself.

I'd like to say good-bye to everyone while I've got time and this party seems like a good time to do it.

Milkshake claps Jadlad on the shoulder and shakes his hand.

Then it'll be a going-away party, too. We'll miss ya, Jad.

to Rikard

I know, Josh, I still haven't felt right since that escapade last week. Tonight, though, I'm going to have a drier good time.

(but Sickbay is bringing bad news)

HOLODOC: "This is bad news."

Rapid aging? Cellular deterioration? ...

HOLODOC: Slow down, slow down. According to my scans, your DNA code is in a state of constant flux, and your body is having a hard time catching up with it. The only explanation I can find is some sort of subatomic virus.

So what's going to happen?

HOLODOC: It's hard to say, but I'll need to run some tests in order to come up with a cure. There's something odd about this DNA though... it's almost as if... but that can't be right. How silly of me.

Do you have a built-in medical database or don't you?

HOLODOC: Your changing DNA pattern seems to be... let me put it this way... going beyond human paramaters.

Now what does that remind me of...

(Enesku enters sickbay, looking kind of unusual)

Doc, are you sure I'm all right? No-one seemed to mind when I started rubbing my head into them and sliding round their legs, but when my ears changed shape and moved to the top of my head, I thought enough is enough!

HOLODOC: Most curious.

(A series of tests reveals a feline streak in Enesku's DNA which was not present before)

What? I'm part-cat now?

HOLODOC: It seems to be the result of a virus.

I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have Andorian-kissed Lieutenant Bulgrave that night!

INSANE: Wait a minute? Has she got the same thing I have?

I'm afraid so, Lieutenant. I expect Mr Bulgrave has as well.

INSANE: So what am I supposed to be?

(Holodoc hands Insane a mirror. Two large lumps on either side of the front of his head have protruded through the white hair, and an unusual beard has grown on his chin.)

HOLODOC: I'm not sure, but you appear to be some sort of goat.

(pause, as Insane begins to take it in)

INSANE: Get to work on that cure. If you need to take a blood sample, go ahead. If you need to chop of my hand for a sample, go ahead!

HOLODOC: That will not be necessary... but I shall work as fast as I can.

some sort of subatomic virus

SOMEKINDA ALERT!!! SOMEKINDA ALERT!!!!
TECHNOBABBLE ALERT!!!! TECHNOBABBLE ALERT!!!!

Hopefully, somebody will be turned into a newt, but they'll get better...

"Oh, Kellner," Rikard says sheepishly, "Um, no, can't say I ever ran into him."

Rikard turns to Jadlad.

"You have to be kidding me. This sucks. I cannot believe they're just going to transfer you, Jadlad. I don't know if this will mean anything Jad, but it was fun."

Rikard shakes his hand as well.

Subatomic virus? Quark is out to get them!

I wish I was a newt.

(Enesku and Insane are leaving sickbay)

I: This must have been what those people on that ship had. I must have picked it up from them.

E: Was Lieutenant Bulgravia there too?

I: Yes he was. So was Alex.

E: I wonder what he's turning into.

I: And who's managed to catch it off him...

Adon collected Gene from the interrogation facility (as well as all the info they had collected) and boarded a shuttle. The Earth personell didn't look very happy about what Adon was doing, but they were in no hurry to try and stop him. Once aboard, the shuttle took off and set course for the Spidership.

Inside the shuttle, Adon and Gene sat facing each other, with the shuttle itself on Autopilot. Adon pulled out Gene's revolver and offered it to him.

Gene: "What are you doing?"
Adon: "A sign of trust. I believe that you have some special abilities. Abilities that you yourself are barely even aware of. Obviously, you don't believe me, or even trust me. I'm giving you back your gun as a sign that I am going to trust you, and I hope that you will do the same for me."

Reluctantly, Gene took his gun back and snapped it open. It was loaded with six live rounds. He snapped it closed.

Gene: "You know, only a fool trusts others so easily."

Gene moved with inhuman speed. He brought the gun up and pressed the end of the barrel against Adon's forehead. Adon did nothing.

Gene: "What if I told you to make arrangements to dock with my ship instead, or I fire. What do you do then?"
Adon: "I would do nothing, because you wouldn't fire. I saw your impressive shooting skills, and you weren't aiming to kill. If you were really desperate, you would try to knock me out and make your escape. Am I wrong?"

Neither one moved. Adon stared into Gene's eyes from around the Gene's gun. Then Gene backed off and holstered his gun.

Adon: "Thank you."
Gene: "What special abilities are you talking about?"
Adon: "Your speed, for starters."

Gene laughed.
Gene: "My speed? These are where my speed comes from."
He rolled back his left sleeve to reveal his mechanical arm. The metal glittered coldly in the light.

Adon: "You only think it does. I can help you bring out your full potential, and learn what you are truely capable of."

Adon held out his hand.
Adon: "But only if you let me. The choice is up to you."

Rikard leaves the transporter room shortly after returning to the Spidership. He makes his way to his quarters, hopefully for a little rest before the night's get together.
"Wow, that week sucked."
"Shut up, Bill," Rikard mutters to his shoulder.
"Bill? Bill? Did you just call me Bill?"
"Yeah, I did," Rikard replies.
"My name's not Bill."
"It is now."
"You can't just start calling me that. That's not my name."
"Watch me."
Suddenly, the Com-Mad-ner is walking beside Rikard. For some reason, the bleach blonde image is wearing very large, dark sunglasses.
"I don't want to be Bill."
Rikard glances over at the image, but keeps walking. "Well, that's too bad. I need to call you something and it's Bill. No more of this Com-Mad-ner c**p." The shoulder seems to contemplate this for a second.
"Why Bill?"
"It's a long story, but since you asked...."
"Oh good Lord-"
"When I was a kid, I used to go out to my aunt's farm. She had this goat that I liked to play with. I called it Bill, as in Billy Goat. Then I found out it was a girl. I started calling her Billette but it just wasn't the same. So I've wanted to have a pet that I could call Bill ever since. But you'll have to do."
For a moment, the shoulder "Bill" walks in silence. "Wow, I really did not need to know that."
"Well, you asked."
By this time, Rikard has ridden a turbolift to the deck he needs. He walks by several people in the corridor and reaches the hall that house his quarters. Just before he gets there, he passes two particular individuals.
"Hey guys." Then he stops, dead in his tracks.
"Did you just see what I just saw?" Rikard asks Bill.
"What? What are you talking about?"
Rikard slowly, very slowly, turns around.

"Pete? Enesku? What the hezmana happened to you two?"

"Maybe we should start calling him Bill."
"Shut up, Bill."

Quincy is in his lab on-board the spidership, checking to make sure everything is okay.

Computer voice: Incoming transmission. Do you wish to acknowledge?

Quincy: Affirmative.

He turns toward a videoscreen. An attractive Asian woman in a uniform of some kind appears on the screen.

Woman: You wish to file a complaint?

Quincy: Yes. Yes, I do. I am Quincy Kyle Rocket, Captain of the ThunderCrane and liason between the Galactic Order and the League of Intergalactic Cosmic Champions. After the recent....events....that occured involving Colanator, which I'm sure that your department is aware of, one of your inspection teams boarded my ship and tried to inspect it. Illegally, under the treaty between the Galactic Order and EarthGov. The person in charge of the inspection team was not only stubborn to the point of unbelievability, but he was also quite rude. I was forced to....evict him from my ship, by transporting him off of it.

Woman: Please explain further what exactly happened.

Quincy: His team boarded the ThunderCrane without permission and attempted to access the ship's computer banks without identifying themselves first. I explained to the officer that the ship had not been in contact with any of the ships that were infected by Colanator, that the ship uses a completely different computer system than EarthGov ships and any other ships that may have been infected, and that the inspection was illegal due to the fact that the ThunderCrane is a Galactic Order vessel. Each time, he answered that he had his orders, and refused to accept my reasons why he had no right. I was forced to beam him and his inspection team off the ThunderCrane and onto an empty garbage freighter heading back to Earth.

Woman: Yes, that definitely sounds like a clear violation of our rules and regulations on the part of the officer in question. What was the officer's name?

Quincy: Kellner.

A few seconds later.

Woman: We have two different inspection officers named Kellner. Carl and James. Which one was it?

Quincy: I didn't catch his first name, but he appeared to be in his early forties, clean-shaven with thinning brown hair, and walked with a slight limp in his right leg.

Woman (rolling her eyes): James. I should have known.....

Quincy: There have been problems with him before?

Woman: Yes. Yours is the third one this month. James was trained by one of our....overzealous training officers who is no longer with us, and unfortunately he takes his job with a little too much zeal.

Quincy: Well, if the training officer's other trainees came out like that, I can see why he's no longer a training officer!

Woman: Oh, that's not the reason why. He was killed in a shuttle accident while on vacation five years ago. (Leans in toward the screen, and whispers) And personally, it was no big loss.

Quincy: If Kellner is getting a lot of complaints, then why is he still an inspection officer, instead of being re-assigned?

Woman (with an unhappy look on her face): Because his uncle is in charge of this department. He's been reprimanded a few times, but never downgraded or re-assigned.(Smiles) Fortunately, he's retiring next month, so James' days are numbered.

Quincy: Fine. In the meantime, I would like to file a protest against the illegal inspection attempt, and ask that the person who erraneously assigned the inspection team to the ThunderCrane be reprimanded. Whoever that is.

Woman: I will be happy to do that.

Quincy: Good. (pauses) And also note that if anything happens like this again, I will ask the Galactic Order Ambassador to Earth to look into this, instead of reporting the problem myself.

Woman: Duly noted.

Quincy: Thank you for your help.

Woman: You're welcome. Good day, sir.

The transmission ends, and Quincy goes back to inspecting his lab.

A very boring-looking, boring-sounding middle-aged man walks into a governmental office somewhere in the city of Byzantium, Central Eurasia.

"Morning, Rita." he says.

His assistant looks up from her monitor.

"Good morning, Mr. Saltonsen." She hands him two PADDS. "This is the inspectors' departmental EL-IN report. They've finished installing the backups. And this...is another complaint from a G.O. rep. Apparently they're still whining about our inspections."

The man groans, and tosses the PADD back to her. "Flag this as an influenced file, and send it to the core dump. I don't have time to deal with this G.O. nonsense anymore. When they have something beneficial to help with the investigations, we'll give them some attention."

He adds, dryly, "At the last allied security meeting, the Ambassador was smirking audibly during the Colanator briefing."

The eight days of collective tension and emotion may have taken their toll on the crew, but it's also been a restful time for some.

Artsy, sitting cross-legged on the floor of her quarters, stares into her ward's wide liquid eyes and asks her a question without words.

not fair. Quito is making an effort, and the actual words of the expression are almost as clearly defined as if printed on a mental page. if you allowed to emote, why not I? An eager cartoonish visual of she and Artsy wearing the same white straitjacket accompanies the complaint.

It's all Artsy can do to keep from bursting into giggles; she can't help flushing a bright peach. "You're getting really good at this," she compliments the little alien.

Quito smiles in smug satisfaction, adding a light dash of i-told-you-so.

And for the first time Artsy realizes, not without a quick silver pang: she's starting to grow up.

? Quito hadn't caught that last thought.

"Nothing," Artsy says aloud, then reaches over to tousle her hair. "Let's go help get ready for the party."

Quito nods in affirmation and bounces to her feet.

The intercomm sounded.

Commander Milkshake,can you please come to my quarters at your earliest convience? Thank You."

A little while later, Commander Milkshake showed up. Adon was sitting behind his desk and offered Milkshake a seat. Milkshake noticed that Gene was standing in a corner.

I know that you're a very busy man, so I will get right to the point. Gene will be joining us.

Commander, that's terribly presumptive. I'd like to know your line of reasoning behind this.

Adon: "Gene has to potential to be a Wanderer. I believe that it is the source of his speed, although that may not be the limits of his gifts. Since I am the one who discovered him, so to speak, it is my duty to train him to use his abilities correctly, both physically and morally. I cannot do that and remain onboard this ship unless he comes along as well.

I'm not asking you to make him a member of the crew or anything like that, far from it. Just a place to stay. I will take full responsibility for his actions from this point onward.

I relize that I may have been presumptious to say that he will be staying here, and if I have offended you, I appologize. I'm hoping that he will be able to atone for what he did during his visit."

He cast a glance at Gene.
Adon: "That's true, isn't it?"

Gene bowed his head.
Gene: "Yes, master."

He straightened up and offered his hand towards Milkshake.
Gene: "I sincerely appologize for any damages I have caused to you, your ship, and your crew during my time here. I ask that you allow me to repay you by my services under my master's watchful eye. Will you forgive me for what I have done, sir?"

Jackson: Alex, perhaps you should take over Pseudoscience.
Alex: Hey, I already have weapons... strange, I feel funny...
Suddenly, and without warning, his nose becomes longer, becoming a beak, he sprouts feathers, and within seconds, has become a penguin.
What in the world? I think I'd better get to sickbay...

(Before Commander Milkshake can reply, he gets a transmission from the Holodoc)

Sorry to bother you, Commander, but Mr Alex Tacoman is displaying symptoms of being a penguin. Lt Insane and Enesku have just displayed similar signs of being a goat and cat repsectively. I suggest all crewmembers report to sickbay for medical examination.

Alex, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.

Milkshake ignores Gene, speaking directly to Adon.

Your responsibility, Commander.

With that, he heads to Sickbay.

E: Who else was on the away team?

I: Just Culhane and Eugster.

(Enesku laughs)

E: I can just see how Eugster'll react. He's scraed of **** near everything!

(Just then* a guy walks past with a surprising number of white feathers, a vaguely beak-like nose and hints of a red plume atop his head.)

E: Was that...

I: Eugster? Yep.

E: And he's turned into a chicken. Kind of appropriate, isn't it?

I: You mean because he's such a coward? Hmm... Now Culhane... she's always follwing people's lead... like she doesn't even have a mind of her own.

(Soon afterwards, they see Culhane, also on her way to sickbay... and all her hair seems to have turned to wool.)

E: She's a sheep.

I: That's too much to be a coincidence. I wonder if this virus turns people into animals appropriate to their personality?

*not actually just then, it's the way the scene is edited which makes it look like that. Otherwise it'd be a bit of a coincidence, wouldn't it?

So since Alex turned into a penguin, does that mean that he uses Linux?

Quincy K. Rocket walks into Sickbay. Holodoc notices, as he finishes examining a patient.

Holodoc: Ah, Captain Rocket. I was just about to request your presence. Please take off your jacket and sit on the examination table.

Quincy (taking off his jacket): I've ordered Wayne and Kent to stay on the ThunderCrane until this....epidemic, if that's what it is....has been contained.

Quincy sits on the table.

Holodoc (examining Quincy): Good move.

Quincy: Wayne isn't too thrilled about it. He hasn't had a break in several weeks, and was looking forward to using one of the holodecks.

Holodoc: The ThunderCrane doesn't have one?

Quincy: No. The ThunderCrane's recreational equipment is limited to video and audio systems. There wasn't enough room to install a holodec, although we did consider using part of the space inside the tessaract to make one.

Holodoc (going over the readings): Well, I've got some good news, and some bad news.

Quincy: Give it to me straight.

Holodoc: The good news is, you don't appear to be infected with the virus. The bad news is, you appear to be under a great deal of physical stress. It might be a good idea for YOU to go use a holodec and unwind.

Quincy: Will do.

Quincy gets off the table and puts his jacket back on.

Holodoc: Send the next one in, please.

Quincy: I think I'm going to change forms so that I don't get infected with the virus. Easier than walking around in my armor 24-7.

Quincy closes his eyes for a second and begins to glow a teal color. After another couple of seconds, his entire body turns into teal energy. He leaves the room.

As Alex and the others rush down to sickbay, Alex continues to change. By the time he reaches sickbay, he has turned into a rather large chimpanzee.
Alex: EEK?
Butrfli: Jackson, you're changing, too!
Jackson looks down at himself and then at a handy mirror. He has turned into a kangaroo.
Jackson: That would explain why I've been feeling a bit hoppy for the last five minutes. You seem to be your normal self, Butrfi.
Butrfli: Perhaps it's my genetics. It may not be able to infect a half-elf.
No sooner has she said that, then she doubles over and falls to the floor. When she gets back up, she looks reptilian, but still winged. She glances at the mirror Jackson used.
I've turned into a dragon from my home dimension!

Did you get them? Yes? Good! That's something we can show them every year on the Xmas photo album torture marathon. Pretty embarassing stuff. Mwuahahahahaha!

What do you think, should I sell a few pics to Superheroes Unveiled?

Milkshake arrives at Sickbay, looking a little bewildered.

Doc, I just passed a kangaroo, chimpanzee, dragon, and glowy man in the corridor. Tell me you at least have a vaccine.

Right behind Milkshake is Delgado, who is starting to vaguely resemble a german shepherd.

"I just passed Crewman Inonesco; he seems to have turned into a rhinocerous. I think we're going to need a quarantine here pretty quick."

I am trying, Commander. But it's not just a question of curing the crew. You heroic types will need to get to the bottom of this. It can't be a natural virus: somebody created this.

Rikard, still not sure if he's infected or not, enters sickbay.
"Well, whatever it is, the transporters can't seem to filter it out. We should find out what the fleet did with the Perez. See if they've figured anything out yet. Does anyone know how many EVA, hazmat, and other self-contained suits are aboard the ship? I guess the quartermaster would know."

I've got one.

Taps his armor

I know there's a quantity of isolation suits and forcefield belts in Sickbay. Number One, get one and then coordinate the quarantines. Get everyone affected into...Holodomes 1-3. Make them feel at home. Doc, get to work on isolating this virus and making a cure. I'll contact Earth.

Starts to leave, then pauses

Oh, Number One? Make sure you separate the carnivores and herbivores, kay?

Steve, I've been wearing one, and look what happened to me... I guess my suit's filtering system failed for a bit, I guess...

Rikard, done putting on an isolation suit, looks up at Jackson.
"I was wondering why you and Alex got it. I mean, I would assume that when you're on the ship you don't use the suits self contained oxygen. But considering the transporters can't even filter this thing out, it makes sense that the suit might not be able to either. Hey Doc, you sure I'm not infected?"
The Holodoc nods.
"From what I can tell, Commander, you haven't been infected yet. Even if you are, however, the suit should prevent any chance of you further spreading of the virus."
"Thanks Doc. I'll get the holodomes ready, Commander, start the quarantine."
Rikard leaves Sickbay, beginning the quarantine of the very large ship.

Several hours later...

Milkshake re-enters Sickbay, which is now basically deserted since the quarantine was put in effect.

All right, Doc, what do you have for us?

A BRAND NEW CAR!!!!

Adon entered sickbay with Gene floating behind him, groaning in pain.

Adon: "We have a serious problem. This disease has started having an effect on Gene. From what I've heard, no one else was in serious pain."

Gene came to a rest on an empty bio-bed, and the Holodoc turned on the scanners.

Holodoc: "No wonder he's having problems... Most of his vital organs have artificial implants on them. Judging by the damage and scarring on the organs themselves, they're keeping him alive. Not only that, but his brain has also been significantly enhanced by implants. I've never seen this level of artifical devices outside of a borg drone before."

Adon: "Can you do anything to help him"

Holodoc: "I can give him some pain medication. I can also try and switch change the implant's settings."

Adon looked over at Milkshake. Milkshake looked the other way.

Adon let out a soft sigh, and helped sit Gene up, exposing a number of plugs in the back of his neck.

Adon: "Do it."

YOU HAVE JUST 60 SECONDS TO ADJUST THE IMPLANT'S SETTINGS, IN ORDER TO WIN.....A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF RICE-A-RONI....THE SAN FRANCISCO TREAT!

I could bite him to save his life...

Meanwhile, in another sector of space, a severely damaged ship floats near the edge of an asteroid field. Large sections of the hull have been blown off, and there are battle scars on most of the remaining sections, including scorch marks. Another ship appears in the distance, and moves in closer. Its The Wytch Queen.

On the bridge, Captain Luther Biggens is sitting in the command chair, but is leaning forward slightly to get a better look at the viewscreen. The crew all have new uniforms that are more stylish than their old uniforms and have more color on the upper sleeves and collar, and their pants are the same color as the trim on their jackets.

Captain Biggens: Ensign Pulver, any distress signals or messages?

Ensign Pulver presses a few buttons on his console, then turns toward the captain a few seconds later.

Pulver: No, sir. Nothing at all.

Captain Biggens: Lieutenant Vasquez, do the sensors detect any life signs?

Lt. Vasquez is a Latina, mid-30's, with shoulder-length black hair. The left side of her face appears to be partially made of metal, and her left eye is a glowing red orb. She presses some buttons on her console, examines the results, then replies a few seconds later.

Lt. Vasquez: Affirmative. Detecting approximately 5 lifeforms on board the ship. Two on the bridge, one in Engineering, and two in the transporter room. One of the lifeforms in the transporter room appears to be human, and is definitely injured.

Captain Biggens: Their communications must be down. Is their transporter functional?

Lt. Vasquez: Judging by the damage the ship has sustained, I'd say that is unlikely, sir.

Captain Biggens: Hmmmmm.....well, we'll need to send a rescue party down(Pauses, and thinks for a second.) Ensign Pulver, please contact Commander Tanaka and ask him to report to the bridge. He's going to get to lead his first away mission.....

...sits patiently in one of the quarantine areas, hoping that someone can figure this thing out. Soon. Until that point, fortunately, he can go chaise a few unfortunate crew members who have been turned into squirrels.

Gene: "The cure would be worse than the disease."

Everyone looked over Gene, who was still unconscious on the biobed, wtih a number of cables coming out of the back of his neck. The sound of Gene's voice didn't come from him, but from the display above the biobed.

Gene: "Please don't be alarmed. My cyber-brain is still operational and your doctor has stablized my implants for the moment. I hope he can find a cure soon."

Adon: "So you're speaking to us through a computer implanted in your brain?"

Gene: "Basically."

Holodoc: "Why can't you just adjust your settings yourself?"

Gene: "Anti-hacking defence. The regulators are independant from my cyber-brain, so if a hacker managed to get inside, he couldn't do anything with those systems. The hardline was used since to prevent remote access, since the cyber-brain controls the wireless interface."

Holodoc: "How are you feeling, then?"

Gene: "I've had better days, but your changes have helped. Please tell me that this kind of thing doesn't happen very often."

Adon: "Well...."

"He's over here!"
"I've got him!"
"Um, nope, missed."
"I think he went down that way."
"Did he just fly into the conduit?"
"I've lost him. Anyone see him?"

Rikard looks down the hallway that he has just entered. Crewman Ellison had transformed into a bat, and Rikard and four others are trying to catch him. The corridor appears empty for a moment, then Rikard sees the slightly larger than normal bat.
"I see him," Rikard whispers into his communicator, "Section 6. I'm going to grab him."
"I see him too," Rikard hears Yates' voice say, "He's between us. We'll be able to trap him."
Rikard nods. "Right, get ready." He raises his net, and prepares to grab the bat. He inches closer, closer, and just as he gets in range he swipes the net toward the bat. The bat dodges. Rikard tries again, leaping into the air. The bat dodges again and Rikard falls into Yates. Both fall to the ground.
"Great, this is just great. We should just stun him."
"Um, sir," Yate's asks, "Why don't we just beam him to the holodomes." Rikard stops and slowly turns to Yates.
"You know what? That's not a bad idea. Rikard to Transporter Room..."

Commander Tanaka and his away team beam down to the wrecked ship. His team consists of Lt. Vasquez, Doctor Zypher, and three security guards. Tanaka is a Japanese male in his early 30's, with close-cropped hair (almost a buzz cut, but not quite). Lt. Vasquez starts scanning the area with her optic sensor.

Tanaka: Anything, Vasquez?

A few seconds later....

Vasquez: This way.

She walks over to a hatch that is damaged, and motions to the security guards. They draw their weapons and fire, and the door disintegrates in a flurry of green-white light in a matter of seconds. Dr. Zypher starts to enter, but Commander Tanaka stops him.

Tanaka: Let the guards check it out first. We don't know that its safe to enter.

Zypher acknowledges by shaking his head, and the three security guards enter. Several seconds later, one of them walks back into the corridor.

Security guard #1: All clear, sir. There's massive damage to the ship's systems, but nothing appears to be hazardous, except a panel throwing electrical sparks on the other side of the room.

Tanaka: Okay, its clear to go. Looks at the security guard See if you can get to Engineering and check on the condition of the crewman there. Report if you need help or find anything unusual.

Security guard #1: Affirmative, sir.

The guard salutes and walks off. Everyone else enters the bridge, which has a lot of damage. The ship's commander is slumped over in the command chair. He is clearly not human, as he has purple skin and some sort of ridges on his chin. What could possibly be blood is dribbling down the left side of his mouth. Other crew members are also slumped over the various consoles or lying on the floor. Dr. Zypher scans the commander.

Dr. Zypher: He's alive, sir. Appears to have a mild concussion and some internal damage, but nothing that I can't fix. Provided we get him to a sickbay immediately.

Tanaka: Can you wake him?

Dr. Zypher: Yes, but that would not be a good idea at the moment. He would likely be either delusional or gravely confused. Better that I treat him, then wake him.

Lt. Vasquez: Commander? I've got another one over here who is still alive.

Commander Tanaka and Dr. Zypher both turn around. Vasquez is kneeling over what looks like a female member of the same race as the ship's commander. She has a large abrasion on her forehead, and one of her arms is clearly broken, as it is lying in an unnatural position.

Tanaka: Doctor, stabilize both of them and beam them and yourself to Sickbay. We'll head to the transporter room, and call you as soon as we get there. We may need you to join us there.

Dr. Zypher: Yes, sir.

This is insane! There just doesn't seem to be a medical explanation for a retro-virus which changes people into creatures which fit their personalities! I'm sorry, Commander, but I'm afraid I can't find a cure.

But I think I know who might. Commander Milkshake, do you know of any practitioners of... pseudo-medicine?

Rikard enters Sickbay.
"Well Commander, from what I can tell everyone showing symptoms from this virus has been quarantined. So far it's affected well over a third of the crew. How's the progress coming...." His voice trails off as he notices Gene Windward for the first time.
"What the h*** is he doing here?"

Just then, a somehow familiar looking kangaroo, dragon, and chimpanzee walk into sickbay...
Alex: Sir, I've got an idea.. EEEKK! EEEk!! Sorry... anyway... before we left that ship with all the animals on it, I managed to take readings on the animals. Perhaps those readings could help us here.
With that, Alex makes his way to a nearby console, and, with both hands and feet, deftly calls up the information.
Jackson: What's going on with Windward?

Commander Tanaka and the two security guards are walking down a corridor. Lt. Vasquez is standing in place, doing a general scan with her optical sensor.

=/\=Security guard #1: Commander, I can't get into Engineering. It looks like there was a massive explosion, and there's a hull breech just outside the doorway to Engineering. Even if it wasn't for the hull breech, there's too much debris for me to get through the corridor safely, and it looks like the doorway may be blocked by the piece of the hull that was blown off.=/\=

=/\=Commander Tanaka: Then wait where you are, and we'll come see if we can help you, as soon as we get the people trapped in the transporter room free.=/\=

Looks at Lt. Vasquez.

Any problems with the door, or what's on the other side, Lieutenant?

Lt. Vasquez: Sensor scan indicates that the door should open without any problems. However....

Tanaka: Yes?

Lt. Vasquez: Someone inside that room just activated a proton bomb!

Tanaka: How long before it detonates?

Lt. Vasquez: According to the radiation build-up, I'd say we have slightly less than 5 minutes.

Tanaka: Then lets get in there and get out as fast as we can!

Commander Tanaka draws his weapon. The two security guards, already holding theirs, move toward the door.

Rikard seems to be a slightly perturbed upon seeing Alex, Jackson, and Butrfli.
"Didn't I quarantine the three of you?"

Jackson: Actually... Butrfl, will you do the honors?
Butrfli: With pleasure.
Butrfli seems to sizzle and fade, eventually disppearing into a hovering holo-generator.
Alex: See, we are quarantined, but letting holographic versions of ourselves out and about to see if we can help.

Optimus Prime: "The power of the Matrix can cure this disease, just like it did with the Hate Plague."

Neo: "But the matrix is just a computer simulation to control humans."

Adon: "... you two aren't helping."

Neo and Prime both look dejected. With a sigh, Optimus Prime transforms into a semi-truck, Neo climbs in, and they drive off into the sunset.

Adon: "That was odd. Oh, and Gene is suffering from complications due to this disease."

Gene: "Do you think that you can design a counter-retrovirus to thransform everyone back into humans?"

Why does Gene sound like Ojanon?

Hey! It's not easy being green!

That's exactly what I've been asking.

Rikard shrugs.
"Eh, I've seen weirder. Though I did not expect the sudden appearance of the sunset. Don't see that every day."
Rikard chuckles a little as he turns to the Alex, Jackson, and Butrfli holograms.
"You people and your crazy holograms. I've gotta say that you do put them to good, if frequent, use."
Rikard turns back to Milkshake.
"A lot of the uninfected crew are just waiting this thing out in their quarters. We've got several people assigned to finding some way to counteract the virus. O'Malley, Peterson, 12 of 10, and a few others are all working on it. But so far I don't think much progress has been made. And the fleet hasn't sent any info. on the Perez yet. Hey Doc."
The Holodoc looks up.
"You said that you might know who could find a cure for this thing?"

When Gene spoke, his voice didn't come from him, but rather the panel next to him.
The disease has changed my vocal chords, so when I don't speak through the datalink, it sounds like this...

On the biobed, Gene opened his mouth and said:
Puchuu...

I didn't mean a specific person, Mr Rikard, I just meant a practicioner of psuedo-medicine might be able to. Do you know any, or are you just wasting my time?

Tanaka, Vasquez, and the two security guards move into the transporter room. There has obviously been a firefight in the room, as several scorch marks from weapons fire cover the walls, part of the podium that holds the control panels for the transporters has been blown away, and there is a corpse slumped over it.

Lt. Vasquez: Commander?...

Tanaka turns just in time to see a figure disappear in a transporter beam coming from elsewhere. They are too late to stop it.

Commander Tanaka: There must have been a cloaked ship nearby.

Voice (weak): H-help me...

Tanaka moves in the direction the voice is coming from, and finds a survivor. He is dressed much like the rest of the ship's crew. But unlike the rest of the crew, he is human. His leg is obviously broken, and he has several small cuts and abrasions on his face.

Injured crew member: T-The bomb?....

Commander Tanaka: We don't have time to do anything about it. We have to get you out of here!

Injured crew member: But it will destroy the ship!

Lt. Vasquez: We only detected 5 beings still alive on this ship. Obviously, one was the intruder who just escaped. We have two of the survivors off the ship already. Just you and someone in Engineering are yet to be evacuated.

Injured crew member (stunned): B-but t-there are o-over 200 people on-board....

The fact that 196 people are no longer living finally hits him, and he goes into shock.

=/\=Commander Tanaka to The Wytch Queen. Five to beam out. Please transport to Sickbay.=/\=

Several seconds later, Tanaka, Vasquez, the two security guards, and the injured crew member beam out and appear in Sickbay. A medic comes over with an anti-grav guerney for the new patient.

=/\=Tanaka to transporter room. Ensign Cooper should be somewhere in the vicinity of the Engineering room on the other ship. Beam him out immediately, and see if you can beam the survivor in Engineering out, too. We don't have time to attempt a physical rescue!=/\= (pauses for a couple of seconds, to catch his breath) =/\=Tanaka to bridge. Captain, there's a proton bomb about to go off on that ship. It appears there was an intruder on board who activated it, and we were too late to capture him. I'd suggest we get out of here before it detonates.=/\=

Waits and watches as the injured survivor is worked on. Several seconds later....

=/\=Transporter room to Commander Tanaka. We have Ensign Cooper back on board. Unfortunately, we can't get a definite lock on the survivor. There's too much interference. We *might* be able to get them out, but not without causing some damage.=/\=

Tanaka: =/\=Do it! Send them to Sickbay, if you get them out.=/\=

Several seconds later, a figure materializes in sickbay, and slumps to the floor. Dr. Zypher runs over with a medical scanner, and takes some readings.

Tanaka: Well?

Doctor Zypher: She's breathing, but suffering from some minor molecular deterioration. (smiling) Nothing a short visit to a regeneration chamber won't solve.

Tanaka: Good. I'm heading to the bridge. Please inform the Captain, or myself, when the patients are up to explaining what happened.

He leaves Sickbay, and Lt. Vasquez follows.

"Injured crew member: T-The bomb?...."

Somebody set up us the bomb!

Turns to Milkshake
"Commander, Jadlad's still aboard the ship, right? He's still our Pseudoscience officer. He might know something about psuedo-medicine or at least know someone who does."

Jadlad! Great idea!

Computer, locate Jadlad Superguy.

Jadlad Superguy is currently delivering pizza to sector ZZ9 plural Alpha.

Good thing it's not Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha. Who knows what spatial anomalies we'd encounter there.

Warning. Corruption detected in some volatile memory units. Rerunning last query.

Jadlad Superguy is currently delivering pizza to sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.

Do we have any helm officers capable of taking us there, or communications officers capable of contacting him, or have they all become part of this *ahem* funny farm too?

Artsy sits crosslegged on the floor of Zen Forward, where she and Quito were effectively "trapped" when the quarantine was declared. Her satchel sits next to her, top open, and her fingers are preternaturally busy with something sitting just in front of her.

From the corner of one pale yellow eye, she catches sight of Quito sneaking towards the door. Oh no you don't!

The small alien stops, folding her arms defiantly. pout

Artsy shakes her head in exasperation. "I don't want a pet, I want a little girl." Her lips quirk in lemonade-pink amusement. "With those anntenae, you might even turn into a beetle."

Quito's nose wrinkles in disgust, but her thoughts still slant rebelliously towards the hallway.

Artsy lifts one hand just long enough to beckon to her. "Come see what you think of this. If it's not good enough I'll try again--I want it to be something special."

"Well, I still know how to fly the ship. I'm not sure we'll be able to track him down, but we can try."
Rikard thinks a moment before continuing.
"If we can't, Ensign Mack knows a thing or two about Pseudoscience. He manned the station whenever Jadlad wasn't around or was off duty. Or Ensign Vargas. Vargas is quarantined though. Wait a second, Jadlad's already gone? The ship that was supposed to pick him up wasn't supposed to arrive until tomorrow. He was going to say farewell at the party that is supposed to start..."
checks the time
"10 minutes ago."

Artsy sits crosslegged on the floor

25 or 6 to 4?

Josh, you've got us to help on the bridge... at least our holographic selves. We can even tweak the images to those of our old selves.

Off to find Jadlad, let's go.

"Alright, let's go."
Rikard, Milkshake, and the holograms head for the bridge, leaving Adon and the MH to watch over Gene (unless, of course, Adon wants to come too). On the ride up, Rikard remembers something.
"Hey Captain, didn't we try to make Lt. Delgado the pseudoscience officer to fill in for Jadlad when he first got here? Delgado could know a thing or two aboud pseudoscience."

Let's hope he's not under quarantine.

For working at this station it is better to know nothing about pseudoscience at all.

Meanwhile at ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha a slender young man in a pizza delivery uniform rings a doorbell.

Pizza Delivery!

Nothing happens.

Hello?

Jadlad rings the doorbell again.

Pizza Delivery! Heeelloooo?

Jadlad hears nothing but silence. He knocks on the door.

Come on! I didn't travel between dimensions for my health! I got a going away party to get to! I'm already late.

A group of people start to gather around Jadlad.

Okay, I gotta go. You can just keep the pizza. My treat. Later.

Pizza Power!

Jadlad is transformed back into his superhero self. Jadlad then tries to dimension hop back to the Spidership but is somehow blocked.

It's him. It's really him. The Jad.

The Jad!

The Jad!

The Jad!

The camera zooms in on Jadlad.

Not good, this is not good.

Jackson: ...so in order to use the generators, we had to set aside an area inside the holodomes. Basically, we've built a holographic environment within a holographic enviro... what's that noise?
Butrfli: I'll go take a look.
Butrfli seems to make a few adjustments to equipment, and her hologram seems to become lifeless. After a few minutes, it becomes active again.
Bad news, sir. The virus seems to be affecting the inhabitents in this holodome pretty heavily. They're acting more like animals then humans. The readings I got are looking more and more like from those we got on the Perez. We aren't affected yet because we're a bit more protected, but if an antidote isn't found soon...

"We're going to have to find Jadlad, and fast. As for Delgado, Captain, I know he's under quarantine. I don't know if he'll be able to help or not."
As he finishes speaking, the turbolift doors open, and the small group walks onto the bridge. The uninfected bridge crew give their acknowledgements, before continuing their assigned tasks, most involving the virus situation in one way or another. In minutes, Rikard has something.
"Okay, I contacted Jadlad's planet, and the company that employs his pizza ship. They were very helpful, gave me his route. We can use it to track him down. What do you think, sir?"

Set a course, and engage.

Jadlad flies above the crowd.

Should have brought the ship with me instead of parking it at the right spatial coordinates and then dimension hopping here.

Wait a tick. Why don't I just fly through the shield? And once I'm past it I can just dimension hop back.

Jadlad flies straight into a force field surrounding the town.

OW! Great. What else can I do?

Think man. Think!

Several minutes pass.

Of course Got it!

Jadlad makes his way to a seemingly abandoned house, sits down, begins to concentrate and chant. Then suddenly he starts to shimmer. Eventually he has seemingly made mental contact with Commander Rikard.

HELLO? CAN YOU HEAR ME COMMANDER?

His thoughts seem to indicate he didn't like the "yelling". But yes, he can hear him.

Sorry about that. It's only my second time contacting someone like this. No. I'm fine for the moment.

Rikard explains the situation.

Yes, UN-huh. Riiiiight.

You're kidding.

Your'e not kidding.

From everything you just told me it sounds like "Mutor mites". They feed off of a persons biocosmic energy and rewrite it as they feed. It affects each person differently. Usually resulting in severe mutations.

A burst of negative biocosmic energy from a portable negatronic amplification system would work to kill the mites. After the mites are dead each person would start returning to normal as their bodies replace the negative biocosmic energy with their own natural positive biocosmic energy.

No. The Spidership doesn't have one. The technology is still experimental.

Who might? Maybe, Dr. Funnypants.

No, seriously. That's his name. Funnypants, Doctor Moe Funnypants. It's been years since I've seen him last. But you may want to try his last known address.

Technobabble alert! Technobabble alert!

Why would amplified antiprotons (n.b. antiprotons are sometimes called negatrons) kill the mites?

It's PSEUDOSCIENCE! NOT SCIENCE!

On the bridge of the Spidership, Rikard seems to have blanked out, just staring at the viewscreen. Milkshake waves his hand in front of Rikard's face, but Rikard doesn't react.
"Um, Number One-"?
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Rikard puts his gloved hand up. "Not now," he hisses.


Well, what's his last known address?

That's not too far away, only a few systems distance from Terran-controlled Space.

Okay, sounds good, we'll head there ASAP. What's going on with you?

Really? That sounds a little odd. You want us to pick you up?

Believe me, it's nothing, we're only about five minutes away anyway.

We've still got time. We can swing by, get you up here and out of there, find Funnypants, treat this virus, make everyone happy, and finish the night off with celebrations, spirits, and a proper farewell. What do you say, Jad?

Are you sure? I mean, we can bring you right up.

Okay, we'll get going to find Funnypants then. Thanks for the coordinates.

Thanks. Bye Jadlad. It's been great.

Rikard comes out of the trance he seemed to be in.
"I didn't know he could do that."
Milkshake's expression is unreadable through his helmet, but he's obviously curious. "What was that about, Number One?"
"Jadlad telepathically contacted me just a few seconds ago. He's got what he thinks is the solution to our problems. I've got the coordinates and the last known address of a Dr. Moe Funnypants. Jadlad suggested that we find him. It won't take long to get there at max warp."
"What about Jadlad?"
"He said that he'd already contacted his planet and they're sending a ship to pick him up. He's fine right now, though."

Let's go, then.

Rikard's statement about the distance of Funnypants' former address proves to be correct. It doesn't take long for the Spidership at maximum warp to reach its destination. The ship soon drops out of warp in orbit of...

"Luchra V, an independent world with good relations to the Earth System Government and its worlds. Their system is known as the Regulus System on Earth. This is where Jadlad told us to go."

"Sir, we're being hailed."
Milkshake nods. A bald, slightly feathery, but otherwise human-looking humanoid appears on the viewscreen. Unknown vessel, this is the Luchra V Spacelanes Welcoming Division. Please identify yourselves and state your reason for coming to our planet."

Milkshake complies and after a short conversation, the Spidership is granted permission to orbit.

"So, have we found the location of Fairbanks' address yet?" Milkshake inquires. Rikard nods.
"Yeah, we know exactly where it is. We can try and contact him or send an uninfected group down to the planet," he suggests.

Let's try comms first. Holodoc's still fuzzy on the composition of this virus and exactly how infectious it is.

"Aye sir, we're hailing now."

For a few seconds there is nothing but silence. After about 20 seconds of waiting, a woman's face appears on the screen. She smiles brilliantly at the crew as she begins to speak.
"You have reached the home of Dr. Moe Funnypants."

Milkshake nods. "Yes, we'd like to speak-"

"Dr. Funnypants cannot come to his comm unit at the moment. Please leave your name and subspace identification number and he will get back-"

Suddenly, the woman's face fizzles out of view. It is replaced by the face of an older, wrinklier, greyer, much more masculine face. The man's hair seems to be all over the place on his head and he has a thick, peppered moustache. He squints at the crew through thick, black-rimmed spectacles. He looks like he just rushed out of bed, which is in fact exactly what he had just done.

"What is it? What do you want?

I would like an answering machine like yours. Oh, sorry.

(steps away from in front of Commander Milkshake)

We have quite a problem here, Doctor, and we think you can help. Here's the details...

And so Milkshake explains

Funnypants rubs his chin, a look of concentration on his face.
"Mutor mites, eh? Haven't seen a case with them for eight years. Been a long time. A long time." The doctor lapses into science, staring somewhere offscreen. For a few minutes he says nothing.
Milkshake clears his throat. "Doctor...?"

"You realize I'm retired. Not even sure if I have the needed equipment anymore. I haven't even done any really large scale things since an accident turned all of the guests of an amusement park on Yarta VIII into cockroaches. That was an interesting situation. I had to modify my low scale Metamorph 4000 so that it could be fired from a ship. You know, large scale transformations. They're always complicated. Course that wasn't even close to when-"
"Doctor?" Milkshake interrupts.
Funnypants whips his gaze back to the screen.
"Oh, yes, the mites. Well, you're friends of Jadlad. I'll see if I still have my NAS lying around here somewhere. It shouldn't be a problem. I can even use it to sterilize your ship of any other Mutors."
Funnypants raises an eyebrow and leans closer to the screen. "So, what'll you give me?"

The doctor lapses into science

I think they meant "silence", but it's a good pun.

That depends on what your usual fee is, Doctor. The Terran government is prepared to reimburse you for any time and expense incurred in treating this virus.

"Hmmm, don't usually take cash as compensation, but it'll work this time. I'd also like to get a few Mutors for some further study. Like I said, it's been years since I've seen any." The doctor smiles wildly at the bridge crew.
"Just give me half an hour. If I still have the equipment I need, I'll have it found by then. Otherwise...."
But he cuts the transmission before finishes.

A wormhole in space - a wrinkle in time, if you will - opens in the middle of the bridge. In an impressive display of morphing-effects, a beautiful dark-skinned girl of roughly 18 appears, either coming out of the wormhole or formed from it.

My name is Tessa Ract, the Timewrinkler. Time has been going at an unnaturally slow rate these past few weeks. If you wish it, Commander Milkshake, I shall compensate for this by moving time forward until Dr Funnypants has administered the cure.

I hadn't noticed any time anomaly, but go ahead.

The Timewrinkler forms into the wormhole effect once more, but this time the entire bridge, and everything the Commander can see, is engulfed into the kaleidoscopic display. After some thirty seconds, the process reverses itself and the swirling colors once more form into the Spidership's bridge, with the Timewrinkler standing where she was before. Dr Moe Funnypants is also on the bridge, looking like he's just finished a job well done, and the memory of the cure being administered floods into Milkshake's head.

"Well, Commander, that's that. The sweep was successful and my Omni-Detecto Ray isn't picking up anymore of the mites on this ship, except of course," he holds up a seemingly empty small vial, sealed at the top, "the ones in here. Now that everything is in order, and I have what I need, you can beam me directly to my home and be on your way."

Nice rack, Tessa.

Very well. Thank you, Doctor. Number One, beam the Doctor home, and release quarantine lockouts.

With the holodome doors open, a variety of animals and assorted creatures exit. In the middle of the group are a kangaroo, dragon, and chimpanzee, who make their way to report to Milkshake.
Butrfli: With the antidote released, the virus is now gone. The aftereffects, however, will last a few hours. We were all pretty far along in the transformation, so we'll still need to be monitored. The presence of the Furbies doing their own experiments and things didn't help much, either.

"Commander, it was a pleasure doing the business of psuedoscience with you. Fare thee well."

Seconds later, Dr. Funnypants disappears in the familiar glow of the Spidership's transporter beam.

Delgado files out with the rest of the former quarantees, still rather furry, but walking erect.

"Man, it's good not to be color-blind anymore."

Yeah, Lt, that must be it. Why else would you be wearing a red shirt?

"What? What?" Delgado tries to scramble out of his shirt, only to pause when everyone around him starts snickering.

"Oh... That really wasn't funny," he grumbles as he stalks off to his quarters.

I hope we didn't just burn off our whole vacation.

"Couldn't we just jump forward a little further to when the effects...?" Rikard trails off as he realizes that the Timewrinkler is gone.

"Ah, that's a shame. Wouldn't 've minded getting to know her better. Well, now that another crisis has been averted, maybe we should head for Zen Foward for that Saved the World party. I know it's almost 2300 hours, but I think we should still have it. After Colanator and this virus thing, the crew could use a little time to unwind, whether they've got fur or not."

Let's do it.

Attention! Attention! Lane Meyer will be racing Roy Stalin down the K-12 this Saturday at...

Sorry, wrong notice. Attention! The Saved the World Party is off hiatus, and will be starting in 45 minutes. That is all.

The white zone is for loading and unloading passengers and luggage only. Any other zones are mearly figments of your imagination.

It doesn't take long for Rikard to escape the bridge. Despite being a little tired, he's ready to wind down and relax and the party seems perfect. He goes straight to Zen Forward, arriving in minutes. He enters to find the room still fairly devoid of the large number of crew who would undoubtedly soon be arriving. He scans the room, looking for some familiar faces. While he knows every person in the room, he's not exactly close to most of them. However, his gaze quickly comes across a pair of individuals to whom he does have friendly relations. Smiling, he heads over to them.

"Artsy, Quito, what are you two lovely ladies doing on this lovely evening?"

Artsy peeks around Rikard; when she does not see whomever she is looking for, the artist relaxes from mischievious lavander to a lighter pink. "Trying to make sure Commander Milkshake doesn't sneak up on me. I'm almost finished, but I don't want him to see this till it's done." She grins at Rikard, her hands shielding something on the table before her.

Quito broadcasts a surprisingly restrained glee, and takes Rikard's hand to lead him away from Artsy. She doesn't think leave her alone, but the intent to distract is obvious.

I'm here! Let's get the party started!

Everyone ignores him

Alex, Jackson, Butrfli, and the kids enter the room, looking around. Even though Fran and Logan are a little over a year old, they look like they're about three. They rush over to Quito and Artsy and begin playing with Quito.
Butrfli, to Artsy: Because of their interesting genetics and our traveling, they're maturing a bit faster then normal. From what I can tell, when they reach three or so, they'll stop growing, allowing their bodies to catch up with their minds.
Jackson: Is Commander Milkshake here yet?

Rikard looks down at Quito with a mock suspicious expression on his face.
"What are you two up to?" Quito just smiles back, though she does have an "I know something you don't know" look to her. Before Rikard can dwell on this, the Duprees and Alex arrive, and Quito is drawn away by Fran and Logan.

Jackson: "Is Commander Milkshake here yet?"
Rikard shakes his head.
"Haven't seen him yet. He's probably wrapping something up on the bridge or something. I don't know. What I do know is I need a drink. Want anything?" Jackson waves him off and Rikard wanders to the nearby bar.
"Hey Peace." At the bar is none other than Peaceflower Starblood.
"Commander, it is a pleasure to have you back."
"Uh, thanks. Listen, this is a party, albeit one that hasn't gotten off the ground yet, but still, we don't need any formalities."
Peaceflower bows.
"Of course."
"Well, anyway, I'll take something that'll relax me. Maybe something fruity, how about a..." He thinks for a second and skims the drink list, "Pulsar's Call?"
Peaceflower bows again and quickly makes the drink.
"Thanks Peace."
Rikard turns back to the room, sipping his tasty beverage.

Having de-furred himself and confirmed the color of his uniform, Delgado enters Zen Forward and heads straight for the bar.

"Aldebran whiskey, straight up."

The bartender takes a spritzer and shoots it straight up into the air.

Delgado notices that the bargender is dressed like a clown.

Hey, where's this new band that's supposed to be playing at the party?

Just then the famous Tribble Brass Band marches in and starts to play.

Just then Jackson spots Delgado and approaches him.
Don't worry, the party's just starting. I'd say it's about time we had a party, considering all we've been through. I don't know if you've had time to review the logs of our previous missions, but I after major missions, I would order a party... gives the crew some much needed relaxation time.
Jackson looks over at the bartender and then back at Delgado At least you didn't order anything on the rocks...
Ok.. since when did the Tribble Brass Band have Furbies as lead singers?

"All the more reason to drink quickly, I'd guess."

At long last, Commander Milkshake arrives, and heads over to the bar.

Hail hail, the gang's mostly here.

Soon after Milkshake says that, both sets of doors to Zen Forward slide open, admitting ravenous packs of Sharks and Jets. They spot each other and start lining up across the room from one another, snapping ominously...

All right, laddies... break it up.

If this board was anymore broken up, it'd be TKOS!

And the winner... by a TKOS... is.... THE KNIGHTS OF SILVERCLIFF!!!!!!

The Furby looks over to the bar where Milkshake and the others perform a gallant attack on the beverage supplies.

"Amabilis insania."

alt-Furby agrees.

"Acu tetigisti."

I do not know what is in the Furby's glass but the liquid glows green and the bubbles smell strange.

"Nihil agere delectat."

Both Furbys laugh.

Two finger snapping gangs, a bad stand up act, and the Furbys doing something diabolical.
"Typical LICC party," Rikard observes to no one in particular. He looks across the room to see Artsy still shielding something. Now that Milkshake has arrived, he wonders how long it'll be until she unveils her surprise.

For some odd reason they are wearing togas.

"Nunc est bibendum!"

"Propino tibi salutem!"

Jackson, standing somewhat close to Milkshake, speaks to him.
Steve, I can't stand that stand up act anymore. Perhaps Butrfli can give a demonstration of her magic... and perhaps I can show off what I know, too.

Jackson: I don't know about you, Steve, but I'm proud of this crew. As usual, they faced strange and somewhat dangerous missions, and got through them. Once again, it's the LICC at it's best. Hello?
Butrfli: Um... I think I set off a time freeze spell again... minutes passing like days and so forth...

"Is that why this Tarkelian Iced Tea hasn't gone off yet?" Suddenly, Delgado lurches a bit, and his eyes go crossed.

"Oop. There we go."

With so many crew at the party, the bridge is quiet. It is, in fact, nearly empty. Because of this, a blinking light on the comm console nearly goes unnoticed. But the bridge's lone occupant, Robot Redshirt, does notice it. Figuring he has nothing better to do, Rob answers. Upon hitting the button, the viewscreen switches from unmoving stars to the Earth System Government Seal. Then is becomes a man's face.
"Spidership, this is Admiral Chen. Please respond."
"Hello," Rob replies.
"Crewma-, um, -bot. I need to speak with Commander Milkshake immediately. It concerns his upcoming mission."
"Ah, well, Commander Milkshake is in Zen Forward at the moment celebrating. Everyone is there, except for me of course. I'm not quite sure what we have to celebrate-."
"Okay, that's great Crewdroid," Chen says a little impatiently, "Please call him and tell him that we need to talk."
"Yes sir. Robot Redshirt to Commander Milkshake.
"Go ahead," Milkshake's voice replies.
"You have received a message from Admiral Chen. He would like to speak to you immediately."

Okay. Pipe it through to the Bartender's Office.

If you'll excuse me, folks.

Milkshake leaves.

Artsy hasn't been very involved in the party; her only movement, when Milkshake entered, was to turn her back and move her hands a bit more quickly.

It only took a few minutes, but when Artsy straightened to find the Commander again, he'd disappeared.

Quito, feeling her guardian's momentary frustration, leaves the twins to play and comes bouncing over. just in office. Her mental image of the Bartender's Office door radiates a flashing rainbow strobe.

Artsy snorts a laugh, mild yellow with relief, and heads towards the office, something small and silver cradled in her arms.

A bunch of Redshirts enters Zen Forward. When they hear the Furbys talking in Latin one approaches and greets them:

"Ave, Furby, morituri te salutant!"

Never step between a Furby and his drink. Or between a Furby and his harem. Thus it is absolutely understandable that the Furby is grumpier than usual.

"Tace atque abi."

Obviously the suicidal Redshirt's Latin knowledge is rather limited and he starts using conventional swearwords. A sure sign of a beer overdose. They Furby doesn't like it.

"Te odeo, interfice te cum cochleare. Fabriacate diem, punc."

The Redshirt does so, the corpse is being removed swiftly and alt-Furby nods.

"Stercus accidit. Qualem blennum!"

"Caupo! Cogito sumere potum alterum."

Milkshake enters the Bartender's Office and flips on the small viewscreen.
"Admiral Chen."
"Steve," Chen says with a hint of a smile, "good to see that you and the LICC are still alive and operating. I know that you and your crew are relaxing right now so I'll make the brief. The Spidership is to proceed directly to the edge of the Voutaran Empire. We're sending the exact coordinates with this transmission. Since it will take a few days for the Spidership to reach its destination, you're to get underway immediately. We'll be sending you the details of your mission tomorrow morning. Tonight just set your course and relax. Enjoy your short time off, Commander."
"Thank you, Admiral." Chen nods and ends the transmission.

Milkshake checks his chronometer, then comms a message to the current bridge shift to get underway to the mission coordinates. Likely, everyone at the party will notice the Spider's departure, but there's no reason to stop the festivities. Milkshake leaves the office, almost bumping into Artsy.

Hi Artsy, whatcha got there?

"Um..." Artsy flushes an uncertain powder blue. "You seem like a kind of private person, commander, so I thought I'd let you decide if you want to show this to the rest of the crew. It's for you, anyway."

She shoves a lump about the size of a baseball into Milkshake's startled hands.

It sits there, silvery and inert, for a long moment. Then it begins to morph upward, flowing into Colonator's preferred form. Milkshake and Artsy both stand quiet--and then the form shifts into another pose--and another.

Artsy smiles, eyes and hair brightening in peach satisfaction. "It's memory art," she explains quietly. "Seeker and Quito helped me design it, since I'm not telepathic myself. When you hold this, and look at it, it will show you whatever you are remembering about Colonator."

She cups her hands around his for a moment, then turns to leave.

Artsy withdraws several steps before she hears the commander's quiet voice behind her.

It's very fine, Artsy. Thank you.

A few minutes later, Milkshake sits at a table by himself. Rikard moves over to sit with him.
"So, Cap," Rikard says as he sips his drink, "what was that all about?"

Just then a high-kicking chorus line enters through the starbord Zen-Forward doors.

We heard this board is really filling up! it's over 191k! So it needs to be locked up! And isn't this song really bad?

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laaa...

And they proceed to put on an entire show for the crew and then leave high-kicking through the port Zen-Forward doors.