Hey! My first real live part II of a discussion!

Congratulations, kerriem, I think. At any rate, I guess it's a milestone, eh?

Now, where'd I leave those running shoes I used to (for the moment at least) outrun Death? Oh, what the heck, I'll stand and face the music...
Queen MJ, the "the" was a dreaded typo on my part; it should have been a "that." As in "...with the hope THAT Queen MJ won't take offense..." Looks like I managed to offend anyway, for the wrong reason. Sheesh!

Oh, that's nice. My first post on this board, and I've used the "Craiggie" thing as my username. Maybe it'll appease MJ.
If none of this makes sense, see Part I. You may find that I don't always make sense, but at least the posts should get cleared up a little.

Okay, gang, I just dashed off Part 7 to kerriem, so hopefully it'll be posted soon (or sent back to me for revisions).

Well, I would say I'm looking forward to tearing it up into itty bitty pieces (you should have heard me go on and on about the Scorpion King) - but ever since Morgan's posting gave me a serious case of mental whiplash, the posts have gotten more bizarre.

Alas, I shall just harrass my niece more instead.

(Seriously, Craiggie, I'm looking forward to it.)

OK, Craig's post is up...bringing Round One of the Drunken English Major Game to its triumphant conclusion.

The Moderator has very much enjoyed hearing from all the different imaginations involved, and wishes to heartily congratulate everyone on the quality of their work.

However. She would like to suggest a new rule for Round II, bumping up the difficulty level as it were:
All posts shall advance the plot as outlined in the Round 1 posts.

In other words, no more tangents, no more incidental incidents. We've got more than enough material now to start really weaving a tangled tale of...uh...something tangled, and I'm anxious to see what we can do with it all.

What do you think, sirs? (Especially William, whose turn it now is?)

due to miss

Man, I always want to be due to miss a deadline.

Craig, thanks for bringing back John and Dave!

{Still don't know if it's good news or not, though.}

What was this? A note to self? A thought? Something Kerrie just added?

Speaking of whom...I guess my thoughts don't count. Since I'm not a sir and all. Hmp :P.

Ack.

Okay, that was a { and a } around the quote above.

Blue Berry? Finally got that cool nickname you were looking for, eh, William?

As weird as John & Dave are, ScottN, for some reason they stuck with me, and I figured I'd use them to tie in my part. Or maybe it isn't them, depending on what the rest of you come up with in the meantime. Wow, this is going to get weird...

The bracket thing... Beats me what happened there, MJ. The line was supposed to be italicized, indicating it was what Marietta was thinking. Don't know if I goofed up the formatting or if something happened when kerriem transferred it to the board. By the way, I'm still interested in your thoughts, especially the ones about whether I'm in line for lion feeding or not.

Oh, yeah, I was so busy noticing the Blue Berry name, I forgot to mention "due to miss"... nice nit! I guess that would be like scheduling sick time off from work.

CR,

This cut and pasted from PM/Regional Politics/Bristol County, Massachusetts

If you want something done sometimes you've got to do it yourself. The age of good nicknames is over. No one will call me "cannonball" or "satchel" or "bird" or "batman".

If anyone is curious who this Blue Berry person is, I'll be changing my voter registration in November. The final straw was delivering signature petitions (for the Libertarians who run where Republicans fear to tread [minor offices, like US senate, etc.]). When writing out the receipt the clerk (or Clerk) would ask my name. I usually answer, "Berry as in Blueberry." I was twice asked how many r's and is that with a y or an i. I decided I'd rather be known as a little seed bearing fruit that a disease.

http://www.mc.vanderbilt.edu/biolib/hc/nh1.html for info on beriberi.

"Name?"
"Berry, as in Blueberry."
(pause)"Your last name's Blue?"

I wonder how stumped they'd have been if you'd said "boysenberry." ("Is that Boys and Beri?")

Satchel is kind of a neat word, IMO. It also happens to be the name of the dog in the comic strip 'Get Fuzzy.'

BTW, I liked Zontar's guest appearance on whatever Kitchen Sink board was discussing particle weapons versus energy weapons. MUAHAHAHA, indeed!

You saw that, huh? Is a baseball bat a particle weapon?

Kerriem, I'll have the next segment soon. When's the deadline?

Thursday, or Friday in a pinch. And thanks, Will...erm, Blue...oh, man, this is gonna mess up my mind even worse than it already is...

Oh, and MJ ma'am, sorry 'bout the bad choice of words. (Last time I watch my Mystery Science Theater 3000 videos before trying to be clever.)

Keep circulating the tapes!

Hrmm...I see two paths before me. I can either write a segment in which Kerriem goes off to the mines, or I can accept her apology...

Choices, choices.

:P

Philosophically speaking, you have a third choice/path. You could just seat her in the Opposition Party Bleachers!

Actually, MJ, suicide is painless and it brings on many changes and you can take or leave it if you please.

Ahhhh, Scott...I knew there was a reason you hadn't been fired yet.

Now, if you please, wax philosophical on Berry's post about suicide (is this another case of mental whiplash?).

Berry on Acid #2 (Berry on Acid #1 has been e-mailed to our moderator, the most odiferous kerriem, and will be mined for stuff in my segment, I think. [No kerriem, the Viking won't make it but the guy in a bowler might.])

THIS IS NOT MY SEGMENT

I just thought you might like to see what is going on in my head right now.

Man, why am I in this. That first person narrator wasn’t me. My own fault, I didn’t name him. I can still fictionalize him, but do I really want some bozo eight years from now “proving” that William “Blue” Berry robbed a bank, killed several nuns, and assassinated MLK? Do I really want to explain the concept of “fiction” and leave several other morons thinking, “He says it doesn’t matter what I think of him personally unless we are dating as long as what he says makes sense. Still I can’t vote for somebody who burns down orphanages.”

Lets see what I have to work with. Crab aliens aren’t real and Internet.

Internet and Zylax the Coration is a fake and I’m in this.

Internet “hackers” believe it is real and are coming to see me (fictional me, but that distinction will be lost on morons). Better not try to do their IMing each other.

MJ. Sheesh. She had the sense to name her character “Marlo” and not Machicko. The Corations are real. Sheesh. Should I do a Morgan and ignore her post altogether? Nah. I said I wouldn’t. Ubermensch or whatever keeps his word since the only one with authority over him is himself. (I guess Freddy Wolfgang was not married.) Why would I be so $tupid? I have trouble keeping up with other people say. Hey there’s an out! She said “incoming craft”! Maybe she was tired and that wasn’t the “real” President. Oh, wait; JD established that it’s them. He also established the President is an idiot and Zylax’s right “claw” man is named “Krag”. Hey wait a minute; didn’t Morgan’s piece focus on the guy who made the video? I think. Maybe, sorta. The “web people” may be the Coration advance team. Still if Donavan made the video. Of course it was never specified as THE video. And why is the disk silver? That was OK when it was obviously a fake.

It is obviously real despite not being possibly real. Maybe Kerriem can move this to RM.

I started typing.

It was cold and William went to the closet for a sweater. He didn’t expect a little brown man.
The little brown man didn’t expect him either. He ran back into the closet.
William pushed the old suits out of the way to see where he went and found himself holding back a branch of an ebber tree in the mystical forest…

Nah, derivative of Narnia and I won’t run from the problem and it’s not in first person. Sheesh…highlight…delete

Berry on Acid #1 is looking better.

Maybe gamma radiation… Nah, it’s been done.

When the Cortions tried to play the disk they changed its coloring to silver with a fine dust of Dorax. That’s why they need slaves! They are out of Dorax because of us! Have Krag mention this to the Shelled One (whom he refers to reverently as your odiferousness). They don’t speak English. They speak Cortion which coincidentally is the same as English. It’s going Douglas Adams and you can’t stop it. Don’t try. Over the top, lads, who’s with me?

Of course, during the “big push” in WWI most men died a few feet from their trenches. Don’t think of that.

Maybe I can add a Swiss army foot.

I think you should just MASH Blue Berry into submission.

Actually, my part was originally going to say the Crabbies WEREN'T real. Or maybe so. I still think it's ambiguous. Anyway, see for yourself:

---

"MUHAHAHA, soon the Earthlings will fall like an overripe fruit into our hands!!"

"Glory be to the Shelled Leader!"

"Thank you Krag. The might of our armored legions will CRUSH the pitiful human planet."

"Glory be to the Shelled Leader!"

"Thank you Krag. Yes, they were FOOLISH indeed to try to corrupt us with their grooved knowledge disc. Little did they know WE would turn their data against THEM!"

"Glory be to the Shelled Leader!"

"Okay, run it back, Gary."

---

Berry...who the heck is Machicko and why is it sensible of me to not name my character that?

Oy! One more installment and I'm up, again. Maybe I should take the coward's route. Or maybe I should see if Berry leaves me some kind of (Still another "some kinda" That makes 470 --Ooh! a 47, too.) hook that I can use to try to begin to make sense out of all this. Who am I kidding? Berry is the one who got us into this mess. I have to schedule time with my muse this week. At least two sessions.

MJ,

Sorry, for the misspelling of your name. That is why I use "MJ".

OK JD, but we still have the President thinking they are real. He may be a moron, but he will have advisors that prevent him from making too big a fool of himself on national TV with that stuff about the "incoming craft". BTW, do "sorta"'s count as "kinda"'s?

I was toying with some sorta surreal explanation with a persistance of time and that sorta junk.

Thanks, kerriem, for fixing the bracket thing in Part 7!

Although...I did name my character, Berry. Kinda. First section, one caller is referred to as Jason, the other as MJ.

But maybe the government conspiracy flunkies of Scott's were just eavesdropping.

That's partly why I did it... government conspiracies can be fun!!!

Kerriem,

Real life ^TM doth intrude. Can I have until Saturday? If not, can Berry on Acid #1 be my submission. (Berry-Goku with a baseball bat in an idiotic surreal landscape for anyone that feels left out, and no, I'm not serious about that being my installment.) For future versions I think a week to include a weekend may be best.

Craig: Hey, no problem...sorry I missed it for so long. (I think I was looking for MJ's random numbers.)

Blue-slash-William: After perusing 'Berry on Acid' one more time, I have come to the conclusion that...wildly imaginative and entertaining as it is...trying to examine it closely is making me altogether too dizzy to risk inflicting it on the general public.

Therefore yes, you may have until Saturday. And the Moderator will take the general weekend thing under serious advisement in the meantime.

OK, William-slash-Blue's post is up - and the plot's thickening nicely...ScottN, I have a feeling you're especially going to enjoy this one......but the Moderator would like to issue a mild reminder re: spelling and grammar.

Tom, I think you've got a couple of hooks at least...go for it.

kerriem,

The mistaken use of "there or their for they're" was Carl's and William quickly corrected him. A few extra words survived from earlier versions. If I hadn't typed it just before sending it I'd have had time to let it sit and reread it. Unfortunately, when it is fresh in mind things like was is hot tepid cup mug of java coffee get by. (BTW, The real William Berry is not a grammar cop.)

Thanks, Blue Berry, for giving Marietta a Lexus.
On the other hand, the sun was coming out before she even got into her car, so by the time she got stuck behind the van, the drizzle should have ended. (Maybe it was too much of an assumption on my part that sun = no precipitation, but Marietta's thought about weather forecasting accuracy--or lack thereof--was intended to solidify the idea.) Sorry to point out the nit, since your description of winter's last gasp was so dead-on... I too refuse to admit I'm wrong about weather after I've stowed away the winter gear!
Oh, she also didn't flash her lights.
On the other hand, you mention "80-degree weather last week," so maybe the scene you're describing isn't even the scene I set up. This could get reeeealy confusing.
I mean more than it already is.

Hmmmm...
After careful review, the Moderator decrees that since Craig doesn't mention Marietta not flashing her lights, and since that action does seem to be compatible with her mood at the time, the two stories are not directly contradictory. She can pass it in good conscience.

The weather thing, on the other hand, is a bit more problematic. How 'bout we assume a series of clouds - drizzle, sun comes out, drizzle again?

William, explanation accepted for the spelling mistakes, with a smile of rueful Moderatorial recognition for your problem.

Tom...sorry I forgot to mention this earlier - your deadline's Thursday (you get today off.)

Craig,

Obviously you do not live in New England. If you don't like the weather, wait a minute. I've seen drizzle with the sun shining. Heck, I've seen sleet with the sun shining. (Blizzards, however, require lots of cloud cover.)

As for her headlights, it was not established she didn't. It also was not established she didn't pick her nose, but flashing headlights at a slow moving vehicle in front of you (because what you are doing is /i{/b{so}} much more important than what they could be doing) seemed consistent. It also seemed consistent that the hackerz would then drive slower.

Besides, although I established that was the hackerz's van, I never establish that was Marietta. If Tom says she is driving a Hyundai Elantra that isn't a nit since you did not establish the white van was definitely the hackerz. (White vans with lots of antennae are rare, but more than one on Earth is a possibility.)

I had intended the hackerz to be in the van, and to react to M's behavior, such as riding their tailpipe. I had even suspected they would intercept her cell phone call, or have a directional mic pointed her way, or something just because they're slightly paranoid and would likely (over)react to a "woman in black" whipping out into traffic right behind them.
As for the weather, I've seen full rain in the sunshine, in addition to sleet, drizzle and light snow (though not all at once). Besides, I thought of kerriem's original guidelines about contradictions, and recalled weather being one of the examples given. BTW, Blue, I still think your description of that kind of weather was perfect.
I knew the headlight thing would get explained; I actually don't really have a problem with it. (...other than the fact that it's just a rude practice on the part of impatient motorists!)

Just a nit. Hackerz is partially the correct spelling. It should be "h4xx0rZ".

Sorry ScottN,

I just can't bring myself to type that. (Letters are letters and numbers are numbers and never the twain shall meet. B4 all things they shall be separate. I mean that 4ever.)

Craig,

Of course MJ is going to add a blizzard.

MJ,
Only kidding (I think).

No problem, at least "hackerz" is in the proper spirit.

Blue, I'll take the blizzard if you're buying. I prefer oreo blizzards. :P

Ooo, nothing beats a turtle Concrete™!

Chocolate Xtreme Blizzard (TM) for me, thanks.

I guess I'd better get to DQ soon... Xtreme Blizzard™? That's new to me. Or is it a Canadian thing? (Of course North Dakota is the US land of extreme blizzards.) Big surprise, my post has little or no point!

All I know is what I read off the DQ billboards: chocolate fudge Blizzard with chocolate chunks and brownie pieces = Chocolate Xtreme.

I can hardly wait until I've eaten enough salad to justify the experience...

Been a rough week for me. Last night was the first chance I had to really look at Berry's latest chapter and review the others in preparation for writing mine, and it's due today. When my muse skittered in to break our appointment once again, I tied her to a chair.

She doesn'y do her best work under duress, but then again this isn't the Great american Novel. Anyway, the chapter is in the (e-)mail.

Got it posted, Tom. Well done (and next time, try feeding your muse microwave popcorn and/or a peanut butter bagel. Works for mine...)

Given that his characters have become such a big part of the story, I'm really looking forward to ScottN's entry...due next Thursday.

Iv'e tried the popcorn, but she usually just grabs a handful and skitters away anyway. Maybe I'll try the bagel: is that a bagel with peanut butter or a peanut butter flavored bagel? If it's the latter, do you use a jam or jelly as a spread? Or a flavored cream cheese?

Curse you, Tom! Now you've raised the bar for me!

I have? I thought I was just treading water.

Hey! I am not an anamoly!

Morgan might be, but I'm not...

If you mean the "anomoly" in Portland, actually, I was referring to Donavan and Fredricks, who have been basically ignored since Morgan introduced them. Although if someone chooses to make it about you, I can't stop them now.

Oh yeah. Those two mental whiplashes.

Carry on, then.

Hmm... looks like we may yet make this a non-sf story!
Although I didn't mention the Portland characters, the drug angle introduced there had me change a few ideas for my submission, namely working drugs into it at all. I'd planned on using ScottN's hackerz as a link, and came up with the funeral thing as a reason to have the character in black...my original intent was to have her deceased friend an AIDS victim, but the implication from what I've written (I hope) is that the death was drug-related. (Of course, I never came right out and said that, either. I also never specified that JD's entry was the channel surfing M fell asleep to, since that would have come too close to violating the "no holodeck" rule. It sure felt like channel surfing to me, though!)

I have to reread the whole enchilada... Sorry guys, but it probably will be Thursday.

Well. It's currently 1146pm, Friday, 5/17/02.

What have you to say at this time, Mr Philosopher?

I plead work and softball coaching (Sorry, guys, but TrekGrrl and her sister come before you people do )... I'll have it to you by 6PM Saturday...

I have my clock out, Mr Philosopher.

Hey, the lions are sounding a bit hungry these days...

Mr. Philosopher? ScottN? Is this the same ScottN we all know and love?

(Just teasing ScottN, the next time I quote a TV commercial from the 70's I know you'll be there to explain that old Berry geezer to the young uns.)

Cut him some slack, MJ, he's on a Mylanta^TM run.

Hey, Blue, have you seen his Stone?

Shoot. I've got block. Please pass on me this time.

My apologies. I'm really stuck... I can't think of a single thing.

When in doubt....HELICOPTERS! EXPLOSIONS! VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMEN (and men)! VERY CHARMING VILLAINS! THE INTERNET! SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS! MONSTERS! SNAKES! HI-KEEBA!

ScottN,

When I'm blocked one word comes to mind. "Roughage." Well actually two words. “Metamucil^TM”

Uhhhh...could somebody please slip JD his medication? Quickly?

Scott, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having so much trouble - anyone who's made such a valuable contribution to the project deserves some special consideration. Hopefully by next round we'll be able to hear more from you.

So I guess that means you're up, Machiko...can you have something to us by this Friday?

Maybe I'll figure out a way to get Jar-Jar into it

Thus guaranteeing that I'll be banned from this board for life

OH, yeah.

I shall do my best, Madame Moderator!

Hrmmmmmm................excuse me while I plot.

Sorry Kerriem,

MJ has to buy my geritol^TM.

Cool! Now I can make toothy-grinned emoticons! (Thanks, kerriem! And don't worry, I'll use them in moderation.)

I'll use them in moderation

I thought only the moderator could do that?

Ducks and runs away!

(elaborate sigh) Aren't you supposed to have writer's block or something, Scott?

Yeah, but not pun-block. BTW, use only PPF-30 (Pun Protection Factor) or better!

I deliberately avoided the obvious 'moderator' pun because I didn't have to bother with it; I just knew someone else would leap up and grab it. Besides, I didn't want to punish everyone with my skewed sense of humor!

Kerriem, (Hey! Kerriem's capitalized now.), you should really have that sighing thing checked out.

You know, I kind of like JD's "HI-KEEBA!" Why don't we use that as our rallying cry?

Or maybe not...

I'll, uh, think about it, Craig.

In the meantime, MJ's installment is up - and it's terrific, both in itself and as a heroically loyal effort to rescue Mark's characters...which Mark now has until next Friday (making allowances for the long weekend) to appreciate.

Good work, MJ!

Really?

I wrote it up in twenty minutes, slept on it for a week, thought it sounded good, and mailed it off.

Now I think someone spiked the milk. ;)

Just my first impression, mind you...

Oh, censored! I missed my deadline. It'll be in the mail to Kerrie some time tomorrow.

Or, today.

It should be in your Hotmail inbox, Kerrie.

Got it, Mark, thanks. Hopefully I'll have it up by tomorrow morning.

...And here it is. Wow.

JD, you're gonna need quite a few HI-KEEBAs to get you through this one, I think...

I can feel the headache starting already and I haven't even read the last few parts. :-)

Must... keep... brain... from... exploding!

I'm not sure I can sort it all out, now!

Where's the fun in straightforward plots? Nowhere.

Hey, gang, just a "heads up" that I might not be able to get a submission in time for my turn this round. Advanced apologies if that comes to pass...

Why so, Mr. Pot, how covered in soot you are!

Where's your chapter, JD?

Mark,

There is a plot? I love conspiracies.

Or is it at a cemetery?

There is always a conspiracy. Life is choosing the winning conspiracy.

Well, and controlling the orbital lasers.

Me, I'm finding that I enjoy writing my chapters so much I might bring the two characters and their lives, perhaps sans the bogies, into other stories.

Mark. I'm just going to assume you're very happy in your own little world, there, and leave you alone. (But I'm glad you're having so much fun.)

I'm also assuming that JD's been kinda preoccupied with, erm, other NitCentral stuff this week. But if I don't hear from him by tomorrow I'll fire up an email flare.

I shall let the proper authorities know your opinion and I'm sure they'll get right back to you.

Uh-huh.

Meanwhile...just to let everybody know that I've heard from JD and he'll have his entry to me by the end of the week.

...and here it is. Well done JD.

OK...that brings us to Craig...but he never did get back to me re: exactly if he'd be able to get an entry in this round.

So if I don't hear from him by early next week...Berry, you're up.

Sure. I'm busy, but for you, baby, anything. Politics and fatherhood and dating while broke can be amusing, in retrospect. I guess.

Good job, JD. But I'm gonna get him right back away from those military nitwits.

That's all right, Mark, don't make no difference to me.

Glad you liked the story.

That's what he thinks, JayDee.

I enjoyed it (and I was at work!)...I'm already planning on what to do with who where and when.

MJ,

You may have unlikely protagonists.

Hey, gang, bad news (at least it's bad as far as I'm concerned): I will be unable to make a submission this round, so it's on to you, Blue! (I just e-mailed Kerriem with the details, but I doubt if she's had a chance to read it yet.) Anyway, have fun!

Errrk!

As more and more people drop out, there are fewer and fewer turns until I'm up again. It's not fair, I tells ya.

There, there, Tom. I got Craig's email OK, and Berry has agreed to have an entry to me by early next week, so you've got lots of time to placate your muse.

OK...Berry's entry is up...and I think he deserves some notice for being the first one to kill off a character. (Although the choice of character is worrying me a little...)

Anyhow, Tom, you're next. Howzabout next Sunday as a deadline?

In other news...this is the last post on this thread prior to my creating part III.

Sorry, Kerrie, no it isn't.