What is with all the doctors named “Oberman”? First, Carol’s original OBGyn in The One With The Sonogram At The End(1.2) was named Dr. Oberman, and now, the young doctor that Phoebe dismisses as too young in this episode is named Dr. Oberman.
It didn’t occur to me just how many flat-out HILARIOUS lines and moments this episode had until I was walking home from work tonight listening to it on my walkman, wishing I had set my VCR to tape it. I ended missing all of Act 1 by the time I got home, and although some of the lines were at the Friends website I use for reference, a couple were not selected by that site as quotable lines, so I had to and write them down from memory. They’re not exact, so I put them red until the ep reruns and I can get them exact, or until someone gives me an exact wording.
Rachel: “Monica? You're gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.”
Joey, grinning: “Oh my!”
Rachel: “They're male nurses.”
Joey, chuckling: “Not in my head.”
Joey: “Rachel and Monica are going out with a couple of nurses.”
Chandler: “Male nurses?”
Joey: “Yeah! I was bummed too!”
Frank: “What's with him?”
Phoebe: “Um,, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.”
(After Dr. Harad, Phoebe’s eccentric, Fonzie-obsessed doctor walks out of the room…)
Frank Jr.: “It’s not that weird, is it?”
Phoebe: “Of course it’s weird! I don’t want to have someone down there saying, ‘You’re now dialated-amundo!”
Ross: “Actually, he’s not saying that he’s Fonzie, only that he likes…”
Phoebe: “Why are you defending him???!!! Someone get me another doctor, one who’s not crazy, and ISN’T Fonzie!”
Ross: “Again, it’s not that he’s Fonzie…”
Phoebe, angrily interrupting: “OHHH!!!!”
Rachel: “Phoebe, I think it’s so great that you’re doing this for Frank and Alice.”
Phoebe: “Yeah. Can I tell you a secret?”
Rachel: “Sure.”
Phoebe:“I want to keep one!”
Rachel:“Oh, I’m gonna be on the news….”
Joey’s doctor: “Now ordinarily, Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break the stones up with shockwaves, but they’re too close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them, or else, go up the urethra…”
Joey: “Whoahoh! Nonononono. Nothin’ is goin’ ‘up,’ okay? Up—Up is not an option! What’s a urethra?”
(Monica whispers the answer in Joey’s ear.)
Joey, horrified: “Are you crazy??!!!”
Dr. Harad, giggling to himself: “Heheheheh…Oh, Fonzie…”
Rachel: “You know who I always liked? Mork.”
(Dr. Harad stops what he’s doing, looks up and stares in shock at Rachel.)
Phoebe, subtlely to Rachel without changing expression: “Undo it, undo it, undo it…”
Frank Jr: “Hey, y’know, Alice is gonna be here so soon. You couldn't just, like, do me a favor and, like...like, hold them in?”
Phoebe: “Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.”
Rachel: “So does it really hurt as bad as they say?”
Phoebe: “Yeah. You won't be able to take it.”
More great lines (remembered from 6 years ago, so forgive me if I'm not word perfect!)
(after Chandler and Joey find Phoebe a replacement doctor as she requested, but he turns out to be very young)
Phoebe: Run away, little boy!
Chandler (looking out of the door as he runs away): Aww...you made him cry!
(after Joey asks the doctors what's causing his "sympathy pains")
Doctor (gleefully): Kidney stones!
Joey: Wait...what else could it be?
Doctor (even more gleefully): Kidney stones!
(I can't remember the feed line for this, but)
Joey (drawling): There's always room for Jell-O.
Rachel: Joey, how can you make that sound dirty?
Joey (earnest): Oh, it's easy, I can do it with anything. Listen (drawls) "Grandma's chicken sal-ad!
And one more (there were a LOT of great lines in this episode, IMO)
Dr Oberman (as the birth begins, in official tones): Channel 47, now!
Phoebe (worriedly): What's Channel 47?
(Orderly uses a remote control to switch on a TV and we hear the 'Happy Days' theme.)
Oberman: This is a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos!
It was Frank Jr. that laughed after Phoebe made the second doctor cry, not Chandler.